Halloween!

Early on Saturday Leo called me and asked if I wanted to go to a Halloween party with him that night. I told him no, but only because I didn't have any money. I mean, absolutely none. He said he was sorry, blah blah. Well, about an hour later he called back (probably because he couldn't find anyone else to go!) and said that he'd pay my way that night, on one condition: I had to wear a costume of his choosing.

After I got him to agree that he could choose three costumes, and I could decide which one to wear from among them (see, I was afraid he would choose something really bad-- I didn't want to give him total control over what I'd be wearing!), he picked me up and we went to this seasonal Halloween shop. We must have spent two hours there! He was looking for a costume for himself, but he was more concerned about finding the perfect outfit for me. Seeing as I wasn't buying, I just sort of followed him around.

Eventually he found the three outfits for me to choose from. The first he'd put together from a bunch of different pieces: fairy wings, a short sparkly pink dress, and a matching bikini-top. Oh yeah, there was a want and a tiara, too. The ensamble disturbed me, probably because when I was a little girl I loved to dress up as princesses and fairies!

The second outfit was pretty traditional-- a "sexy schoolgirl uniform" outfit. Here's a picture that closely resembles it-- I think the one he showed me must have been made of better materials, though, because it was nearly twice as much money ($65). Plus it was a green flanel skirt, not red... anyway.

The third costume surprised me. It was obviously the one he had his heart set on-- basically, it was supposed to be a "slutty ghost" costume, but it was really just white lingerie... you can see something that sort of resembles it here (just imagine the tight little skirt in the picture replaced with nothing more than, literally, white panties. Seriously.).

It took me a few minutes of internal debate. I kept imagining how great I'd look in the lingerie/"ghost" costume, but the thought of basically walking around all night in just underwear was a real turn-off. I didn't for a second consider the ultra-slutty fairy/princess outfit... it sort of made me sick. Finally I decided on the schoolgirl outfit.

I've always wanted to dress up in such an outfit (that's prolly why Tina does in TTT8) because I always imagined I would look good in one. I wasn't disappointed! If I can be immodest for a moment, let me just say... I looked damned fine! Any disappointment Leo had about me not choosing the lingerie costume quickly disappated when he saw me later that evening, dressed up as a "naughty" school girl. I even replaced my purse with my backpack, which I haven't used since I was last in college (sniff).

Anyway, we got to the party at about 9pm. It was at this rented hall, and a bunch of local heavy-metal bands were slated to play all night. The place was packed! I didn't know anyone there, but Leo seemed to know a bunch of people... at first I just hung with him and his friends (all of whom were strangers to me; Star and Frank didn't come) but eventually I began to mingle. There were a lot of cool people there, and lots of great costumes. As promised, Leo paid my way-- by 11pm, I was well on my way to being drunk off my butt!

It was at about 11pm that Leo found me and suggested I enter the "sexiest costume" contest. At first I resisted, but he said he'd pay the $10 entrance fee and, if I won, I could keep the $250 top prize. I didn't think I had a chance of winning, but I entered anyway.

After signing up, the guy who took my entrance form and cash looked me up and down, and then asked me to come with him for a second. I followed him off to the side, and he said to me very businesslike, "Look, babe, there's no way you're gonna win first place."

I just shrugged. I knew he was right: I'd seen some girls at the party gorgeous enough to be playboy centerfolds, I swear! I knew I looked great, and I was getting tons of attention from the guys at the party, but I also knew that in a contest? There was no way I'd come in first place.

To my surprise he said, "I'm the judge, though. I'm the one who gauges the applause. I can gauge it in your favor, if you'd like."

I knew exactly what he was insinuating. Narrowing my eyes I replied, "What do you mean?"

Sounding totally matter-of-fact he said, "Suck my dick and I'll make sure you win."

For the first time in a long, long time, I was genuninely outraged and insulted by what he said. Without another word I turned and marched away.

What a complete asshole! I mean, did he really think I'd suck his cock, just because he was "the judge"? Talk about a power-trip! And why the fuck did he think I'd be willing to do it? Jesus Christ....

I still participated in the contest, however, which was held at midnight. I didn't want to, but Leo had spent his money to get me in, after all. I was surprised by how loud the audience reacted to me when I got on the stage-- they were so loud, in fact, that I made it into the top three! Out of 20-some girls entering the competition, too!

So yeah, I made the top three...along with two women whose breasts were probably bigger than mine are now when they were only twelve. So of course, I came in third place. The first place winner was a "sexy witch".

Third place. Still, that's pretty good! I felt sort of vindicated... like, hey asshole, I didn't need *you* to get me here! I didn't need to suck your cock to prove how fine I look!

Of course, only the 1st place winner got any sort of prize. But I do love bragging rights, too, I guess. You guys have no idea what an ego-boost it was for me!

Anyway. After the contest I stayed with Leo pretty much the rest of the night. At 2:30am or so, we left.

He brought me back to his place, and I was so drunk at this point I only vaguely remember having sex with him on the couch. I do remember being worried because Frank and Star were home, but they were asleep in their room. After getting fucked (in my uniform, btw-- I clearly remember Leo insisting on only pulling down my panties), we watched an old Jim Carrey movie and I passed out. I didn't get home until 11am Sunday morning-- Leo dropped me off.

So that was an... interesting party. A fun night, all in all. I came in 3rd place, people!!! And I could have come in first if I'd been willing to sell my self-respect for a measly $250 prize...

...you know, come to think of it... that may not have been a bad deal. Oh, well.

-shannon-

And You Doubted Me!

I didn't do that dumb thing, people... yes, Frank came over late last night. And yes, we hung out until, like... 5:30am. And yes, I was sort of horny at first.

But we did not mess around. Not at all!

In fact, we played with Paul's Playstation, some new game that's the sequel to Vice City. Well... I didn't really play much, but it was funny watching him slaughter people and steal cars and stuff. We shared some 40's, talked, etc.

The only thing that happened that might be in the iffy-zone is that I posed the outfit I'm going to wear on Monday for him. He liked it; I stayed in it for about an hour, but then I got worried that Paul would return and I changed back to my normal clothes.

So, it was a false alarm. Nothing bad happened between us!

Anyway... it's sweet, but you all should really stop worrying so much about me. I've been through many things much worse than what I'm going through now. I'm going to be fine!

Unless Bush wins. Then I'll be moving to Canada. :P

-shannon-

Am I About to do Something Dumb?

Okay, a brief entry.

I've been sitting here at my apartment (well, Paul's apartment, but he's out with StupidSlut so I'm alone) since, like... 10pm. Bored. Bored and broke and I have nothing to do. I watched the new South Park (which I thought was dumb). I tried calling some friends (roughly 12), and everyone was either busy or didn't answer. I cracked open some of my recently acquired 40's, and drank.

Then I went online, posted some on the Forum, tried to get into the right mood to work on TTT.

About five minutes ago, Frank called. For those of you keeping score, Frank is my friend Star's boyfriend. One of the four guys I fucked just over a week ago, which made me feel guilty since Star is my friend.

He wants to come over. I'm a little drunk (one 40 in me). I asked him where Star was. He said she was at work-- wouldn't be home until after 4am or so (which is odd, since the club she works at closes at 2am and it's 2am right now).

I told him sure, come on over. He's coming alone.

Is he coming over as a friend, or as a horny guy wanting to get some? And if it's the latter, will I put out for him? His brother Leo and I are sort of a thing. If we hook up tonight, will I be betraying just Star, or Leo, too?

I wasn't horny at all until he called me. I could have gone to sleep without even masturbating. Now... I don't know.

I promise to update you all tomorrow, because he's on his way at this very moment.

-shannon-

A Rant, Then Something Sexy I Swear!

Okay, guys, it's a week until the two most nerve-racking days I think I've ever looked forward to ever. Ahhhhh!!!

What do I mean?!? Next Monday, I strip! I'm totally committed to doing it now. I've even been practicing, and I have the shoes, and Star brought me over this outfit earlier today... I told her I'd think about wearing it. But... anyway.

That really pales in comparison to how I feel about the following day, though. November 2nd. Election Day.

I'm so freaking freaking out!!! I had this dream last night, that Bush won in a landslide. And guess what? I always believe dreams that make predictions, because they're usually right. Seriously! None of you will believe this, but I dreamt about September 11th on September 5th, 2001. Not that planes hit the WTC, but that a nuke was set off at the top of the Empire State Building. The dream was so detailed and intense and so scary, it was all I talked about with my friends until 9/11. I swear. You don't have to believe me... I don't believe in psychics, either.

BUT... God, what if it's happened again? What if this dream predicts a Bush win?

I seriously don't know what I'll do. If Bush gets re-elected, I-- I just don't know. I am seriously freaked about this. He cannot win, he just can't! If he does, I swear I'll totally lose it. I am dead serious when I say that I will move to Canada.

Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida... these seem to be the only states that matter, now. If there truly is a God in heaven, Kerry will carry all three.

Sigh. Sorry for the rant. I promised something sexy, right? Here, here, and here!

God, Kerry had better win. And if he doesn't, don't expect to see me online again for a long, long time. I'll be too depressed to leave the bed.

-shannon-

I Feel Ghetto, Oh So Ghetto...

I really hope no one thinks that the title of this post implies any sort of racism. I'm not racist. I love black people. If you don't believe me, check out some of my DVD reviews!

To all my African American friends out there, though... tell me truly. Do you think I'm racist? I'm a young white female, I've never had sex with a black guy, and I have no real black friends. And I've made characters in my stories somewhat racist. But I swear that I totally, totally am not a racist!!!

Sigh... okay, here's what's going on. Leo knows that I have a penchant for the beer. I love the beer. The beer makes me feel all cozy all over! So what did he do? He gave me a crate full of 40's!!!

Apparently some guy he knows does some shady business with some shady people, and he can get things like this really cheap. He claims to have paid only $25 bucks for this (in my state, this many 40-oz's should cost approx. $98). Part of me wonders if Leo is lying just to make himself sound tough and "connected", but who knows? Anyway, he surprised me tonight with this large box of 40oz Budweisers. There are 32 bottles in this box (crate). Anyway, that equals out to be 1,280 ounces of beer. If these were individual beer cans, at 12oz a pop, that'd be 106 cans of beer, or 8 12-packs, or 17 sixer's. It's a lot of beer.

Does this guy know the way to my heart or what?!?

But I do feel sort of ghetto, sitting here sipping on a 40. I'm on my second, by the way. I still can't help but laugh at the sight of that crate, either! All that booze... God! If only I didn't had to hide it from Paul. Whatever.

Well, it's official. One week from today will be the most historically important day of my young life. Fuck a September 11th, November 2nd is much more important! The election, people! I'm debating this in the forum, so please go see and comment!

While you're there, please make sure to check out this thread. Spencer and I are still duking it out in an intense competition-- basically it's like this. He told me a while ago that he had better taste in women, insinuating that since I'm a hetero girl, I don't know what guys like. I disagreed. He told me to prove it. So we began a competion where he posts a pic of a naked chick, then I do. You all get to vote-- rating our pix on a scale from 1 (fugly) to 10 (hot!).

There have been four rounds so far (rounds 1-3 are closed to voting). In round one, Spencer kicked my little butt. In round two, I beat him, though, and I also beat him in round three. However, it's looking very likely that he will tie me in round 4, or at least win-- his "girl on a boat" is garnering a lot of 10's. My "pouty faced girl" holds a slight lead, but he seems to have the momentum. It's a horse race.

If the links I provided for this competition don't work, do this: go to the Forbidden Forum (you can access it through the main site). Go to "Porn Posting Fun" (where lots of images are posted). Then find the thread "Mistress vs. Master". That's the thread in which we're competing.

You do not have to be registered to the forum to vote or post comments! Although registering is free and simple and cool, you can comment or vote without registering. So you have no excuse for not participating.

I just cracked open 40 number 3!

Leo and I are having a lot of sex. This is a good thing, for me, especially since he's not getting clingy at all. Star, meanwhile, seems to be looking forward a lot to next Monday (Nov 1st) when I participate in the amateur night at the strip club she works at. I confessed to her earlier today that I'm really nervous about actually doing it. So tomorrow night (Tuesday, later today I guess), she's going to give me a few 'lessons' on how to do it, with her friend Iodine (seriously, that's the girl's stage-name. It's so fucking weird I couldn't make it up.).

Other than that, things are dull. No job offers, or interviews, even. No money, nothing much to do. I've been masturbating a lot to porn-- that seems to be my life. I swear, I've been masturbating more since I started getting laid again than I did before I was. Talk about counterintuitive...

-shannon-

Site Difficulties

Sigh. Well, it's looking more and more like I'm going to be alone on this site, soon... the site's current storymaster, the guy who totally revamped everything and totally made this place kick so much butt? He's extremely busy at the moment with other priorities. He admitted to me last night that until next summer at the earliest, he doubts he'll be able to do much work here. So what does that mean for us?

Well, he handles all the technical stuff. All of it. He has everything set up so that I can do these blogs and the updates on the main page without his help, but any other sort of update needs him. Like adding content to the site (latest chapter of TTT, for instance, or a new review, etc). Or even sending out the newsletter! He handles all that stuff. Without him being able to give as much time to this site anymore, updates like those will most likely slow down. A lot!

(Remember, though... blog entries and the little update-notes to the main page won't be effected!)

He has suggested I find someone else to help out with all that in the meantime. Is anyone interested? If so, please e-mail me! If you have experience running sites... well, you know who you are if you do. It won't be a huge job, just those little additions and stuff. The Storymaster totally set everything into motion; I just need someone to help me with the little things that keep the site moving!

The site's Webmaster, Spencer, may be able to handle some of this stuff, but I know that's he's incredibly busy, too. So I'd really like at least one more person to help out... someone who knows PHP, HTML, all that crap (I don't!).

Anyway!

ViCorp posted a comment to this blog about how women do, indeed, get used to these damned high-heeled hooker shoes. Well, earlier today at around 5pm, Star came over here with a CD of bad music for me to practice dancing to. If I hear her say that November 1st is only two weeks away one more time, I'm going to be kill her.

"You have to practice!"

Ahhh! How could I forget what time I have? I have no money and no job, no prospects except this. Of course I know how long it is until the amateur night at her work. It's the night I'll make some money (maybe).

Plus, it's the day before the day. You all should know which day that is.

I have a Republican friend who once said that he'd vote for Kerry is if I had sex with him. He was joking around at the time, but the state I live in actually could go to Kerry... if I fucked him for a vote, do you think a President Kerry would get me a job to return the favor? Unfortunately this Republican, like most of them, is ugly and dumb.

Just kidding. He's not like most 'pubs. He's nice and handsome. :P

Leo came over this evening at about 7:30pm, and Paul finally met him. Last night Paul and I went and saw "Team America: World Police". It was funny, but the night was really a drag. I think Paul is trying to be my total friend now. I think that he actually really likes Stupidslut. Oh, well.

So Paul met Leo, but so far hasn't seemed jealous at all. Oh, well. Leo and I went out to eat, and then we had sex in his room later on. More and more I feel like a prostitute around those people: the only reason I agreed to go out with Leo is because I have no money, and he paid for dinner. I basically fucked him in return.

I shouldn't say it like that. Leo is a pretty cool guy; and he's actually pretty good in bed! So I don't know. Do I really want this group my core group of friends, though?

I have to go to sleep now.

Oh! I'm geeked that TTT Ch. 10 is out there now... on alt.sex.stories.moderated and storiesonlin.net. It will be on this site soon, too, but as I said in the beginning... the SM doesn't have much time right now.

-shannon-

I'm Too Sexy

I'm just way too sexy for my own damned good!

Wait, that wasn't sexy... how about this? Frankly I don't see the big appeal of Pam Anderson, but I know what you guys like! :P

Here's an interesting story. I always wondered about this! So I guess you can be charged for pedophilia, even if the pictures are of yourself. Who knew? Actually, my Storymaster knew. I was asking him a stupid hypothetical question about it the other day (for those of you who've chatted with me, you know I'm prone to stupid hypotheticals). Anyway, he was right. Now it's not so funny.

Okay, I've been beating around the bush for long enough. Here's what happened last night, and why I'm too sexy for my own good.

Star and I went out, like I said we would. She didn't work last night, so she came over and brought me shoes-shopping. And yes, to the person who posted that comment about clear heels? I now have cleer heeled stilletos! Actually, they're more of the platform shoe variety than the stilletto variety, and they're not totally clear. They're pinkish, in fact, but you can see through them. They kind of look like this... I just spent five minutes searching for an exact picture, but I can't find one. It's always so heartbreaking when Google fails you! :(

They literally add five inches to my height, and boy, do they stretch out the calves! I went jogging earlier this morning (my punishment for drinking late last night), and I can't remember the last time I jogged where my calves hurt so bad. And I wore the stupid things for only about twenty minutes yesterday! If you want to know what it feels like, walk around on your tippy-toes for a while, only make sure not to relax at all... and try not to fall over.

So, I have my stripper shoes. I'm going to actually do it. I'm going to do the amateur night thing. I know that a lot of you are concerned about this from your comments posted here and in the forum, but I've decided to give it a try at least. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I get embarrassed and stop right away? Shrugs.

I'm hoping I end up liking it, though. Because seriously, the job market out there? Not good. I have sent out over three dozen resumes in the last week, and not one phone call has been returned. Since I started job hunting I've been called in for one interview, and didn't get the job. I've searched monster.com, the local newspaper, all that... zilch. Who does a girl have to blow to get a decent job anyway?!?

I blame this man. What a miserable failure, huh?

Moving on... last night, after we got the shoes, Star and I went to this little bar she loves for some weird reason. It's sort of a redneck bar and for the life of me I can't figure out why she likes the place... except that the beer is pretty cheap. Anyway, we drank a bit and chatted. She asked me about Leo, whether or not I was "into" him.

What could I say? I told the truth. I said that he seemed really nice, but that I hardly knew him and that I wasn't exactly looking for a relationship right now anyway. She understood, and also told me that Frank had told her that he thought Leo and I were fucking. I just laughed at this and changed the subject.

Do you have any idea how bad I feel now about what I did on Sunday? I feel like total shit. Last night I felt so bad, you have no idea. I mean, I want to be honest with Star, but I can't be honest with her. I can't say, "Yes, I've fucked Leo... Frank ought to know since a few minutes after that I was fucking him, too." God.

I hate guilt. When is Pfizer going to invent an anti-guilt pill?

The funny thing is that if I had only fucked Frank, I might actually confess to her. It'd be hard, but I know me-- the guilt would eat me alive until I finally told her. But I can't tell her, because it wasn't just Frank. I mean, can you imagine? How could I tell her that I fucked Frank and his brother Leo, Chris, and Mack, all in the same hour period? How do I confess that? She sees me as this little wholesome girl to be taken under her wing and helped through a rough time in my life. God.

I have a cool new friend, not the brightest in the world but really nice and generous, who wants to help me out. It'd be perfect if I hadn't acted so stupid on Sunday. See why I'm too sexy for my own girl? If I looked like this I wouldn't have these problems.

That was mean... I should delete that link. Who am I to judge that woman? She probably doesn't fuck her best friend, his brother, and two other people in the same afternoon.

So, my plans for tonight are pretty boring. Paul and I are supposed to go see that movie, Team America. I don't know what to make of his invitation this morning, by the way. He specifically invited me... he didn't ask if I wanted to join him and Stupidslut, his new girlfriend. I don't know.

Okay, gotta run. Bye!

-shannon-

I Wish This Were My Job!

I wish working on Trailer Trash Teen was my job. I've been working on it all day, and it's so much fun! If only I got paid for it... sigh. Maybe I should be a writer.

I did notice a few mistakes today, though. When the entire story is complete, I'm going to have to go back and make a few changes. Nothing big, just some small details-- until then, I'm not going to worry about it! So what if I accentially said in Chapter Seven that Carol had taught Tina how to use "feminine products" when she was 11? So what if, given chapter ten, that's impossible? It doesn't bother me.

Okay, it bother me enough to make a few changes already to chapter ten... oh, well! :P

So, there's been some more fall-out from my activities on Sunday with those four guys. The biggest is that Leo apparently thinks that he and I are some kind of item now. How he got this, I don't know-- yes, I fucked him, but I also fucked three other guys in his presence right after!

The other "big" thing is that Star and I are going out tonight to shop. I have absolutely no money (zero, none, zilch), but she's going to buy me some new shoes. Why? Because I am going to try that amateur night. She's so geeked about it, you have no idea! We talked on the phone late last night for over an hour about it. I had no idea she'd be so happy to hear me say I had decided to give it a shot...

Apparently I need new shoes first, though. I feel a little guilty letting her buy me stuff, but she really wants to. Who am I to deny her? :P

God, I really hope she never finds out about Frank and I on Sunday. I don't know her well enough to know how she'll react. Thankfully everybody who knows (in real life) has something to lose if it became general knowledge-- it turns out that Mack has a girlfriend, too. Leo was the only single guy there... anyway.

Oh, I took a new purity test online! I hadn't taken one in a while, and since I broke some levels of depravity for even me on Sunday, I figured I'd take one again.... here's my score:

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	25% When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself	65.1%
Shamelessness	23.8% For Christ's sake, put your clothes on!	79.3%
Sex Drive	15.8% Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking	77.7%
Straightness	0% Knows the other body type like a map	44.8%
Gayness	17.9% Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame	83.7%
Fucking Sick	61.1% Dipped into depravity	90%
You are 28.64% pure Average Score: 72.7%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

Lol... average is 72.7%?!? So I'm not very pure... at least I scored the way I did in the "fucking sick" category. If you take the test, you'll see why I'm proud of that. Some of the questions in that section were pretty gross!

-shannon-

What a Weekend!

Okay, Friday sucked.

Remember I said I was going to the stripclub again on Friday to watch Star with her boyfriend and his brother, Leo? Well, we did. I'm very sorry to report that it was boooring. Being there with two other guys kept the customers there away from me, so no free drinks, no constant attention... it sucked. Plus, we only stayed for like an hour or so (we got there at ten). Star asked us to leave, actually! She later told me that Frank (her boyfriend) was in a bad mood, and kept harrassing her for the way she was accepting tips onstage (by draping her legs over guys' shoulders, for instance). He's usually okay with her job, she said, but sometimes he gets jealous. Shrugs.

So, the three of us (me and the brothers) left at around 11:30pm or so. We went back to their house, and they tried to get me into playing some shooter-game on the X-Box. I'm not a big video-game fan, so I didn't have much fun. They smoked pot, but I'm not doing drugs anymore, so I just drank. To make things worse, when Star got home she was *wasted*. So Leo drove me back home at around 3:30am, and I basically just went to sleep. Totally a bummer of a night.

Saturday wasn't much better. I hung out with Paul and Stupidslut (that's my nickname for his girlfriend, btw... and yes, she is officially his girlfriend now). We went out to the movies; my friend Laura came with us. I hadn't seen her in a while so that was cool. The movie was pretty funny (Napolean Dynomite... see it if you haven't!). After that we went out for coffee, then back home.

Yesterday (Sunday), I woke up feeling like this weekend had basically been a bust. I felt bad for the donor (the guy who donated me the money to have fun-- hey, can I say your name, by the way? You know who you are!) because I had spent the rest of his donation, and I really had nothing exciting to report here.

Which is why I'm so glad yesterday happened. What happened Sunday afternoon more than made up for a lackluster Friday and Saturday...

It started this morning with a phone call from Star. She asked if I wanted to go with her to a friend's house to watch football. I said sure, since I had nothing else to do.

She, Frank, and Leo picked me up at about noon. Their friend didn't live very far away, and when we got there, he (I'll call him Chris) and his girlfriend were already watching TV (they live together there). Now, Chris' girlfriend works with Star. Her name is "Pheonix". She's very attractive, but sort of a bitch. She immediately didn't like me... oh, well.

The last person to come over was Chris' co-worker, Mack. Mack and Chris work together with Frank doing construction-- like Frank, both have that blue-collared look to them, but they both seem a bit "thicker" from too much beer and stuff. Anyway, Chris and Pheonix live in a small manufactured home (which is basically a supped up trailer home on the outside, but inside it's pretty nice, actually).

I was totally the youngest person there, and I felt out of the loop for one other big reason, too: I didn't know any of them! I mean, I know Star a little, but let me be honest... she's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. She's not a total idiot, but she's sort of "Huh?" all the time. As for Leo and Frank, well, I still hardly know them. So I felt totally out of place.

I just sat there and drank while they got high and watched the game, trying to have as much fun as I could. Then at around 4pm, Star and Pheonix left to go to work.

I was surprised by this... I thought they weren't working. But apparently Sundays after the first game are pretty busy at the stripclub, and both Pheonix and Star wanted to make some money. I stayed behind, and now I felt even more awkward: I was the youngest person in the room by far now, plus I was the only girl. It was me, Frank, Leo, Chris, and Mack.

After we were alone, the guys suddenly started giving me lots of attention, though. Especially Leo and Mack. Leo started telling Mack about how I was thinking of getting a job at the stripclub, too, but that I was too nervous and shy. Frank piped in before I could say anything by adding that I thought my boobs were too small.

When I got a chance to speak I started pleading my case: that stripping doesn't give benefits, but I need health care. That I'd be too nervous. That yes, my breasts are too small.

They "booed" all my statements! I was pretty tipsy at this point (not drunk, mind you, but buzzed), and they knew it. However, I'm smart enough to know when someone (or someones) are pandering to me.

"Your tits look great!"

"You'd make a fortune!"

"You're so pretty!"

Lol... I loved the sudden attention, of course, but I knew why they were being so nice. And of course, eventually Leo mentioned how I'd gotten naked for him, Frank, and Star a few nights before. Mack and Chris got jealous, and said that I just had to be fair by getting naked for them, too, now.

Well, the second game of the afternoon had started. Here I was, on my fifth or sixth beer, all these guys staring at me and obviously goading me into stripping for them. Suddenly I had the "fuck it!" thought in my head, and I decided, "Why not?"

It wasn't that interesting, or else I'd go into more detail. Basically I took off all my clothes while they made comments about how I should act more sexy, that sort of thing. After I was nude for them, and I went to get dressed, they scolded me.

"If you're going to be a stripper you have to get used to being naked for guys," Leo said.

I laughed, they laughed. Then I sat back down on the loveseat, still nude. I think they were surprised. I asked for a beer; Leo got one for me, and took a seat to my right. Then, we started watching the next game.

You have to understand-- I wasn't in some total slut-mode, here. I just wanted to have fun. This was exciting! Yes, I was a bit horny. But I wasn't like, so horny that that motivated me to be nude for all these guys. No, I was doing this because I wanted excitement more than anything else. I felt dirty and naughty, such as I hadn't felt in a long, long time. It felt good.

And it got better.

After the first quarter ended, I got up and went to the bathroom. I felt natural being nude now--- the guys made it easy for me, too. When I got back, I suddenly realized how cold I was, without clothes on. So I asked for a blanket.

Chris obliged. He got up from his recliner and came back a minute later with a nice big comforter. Her threw it on me and I tucked myself in-- the guys had seen me naked for long enough not to care that I was covered, now.

We continued to drink and watch the game, and Leo and I shared the blanket together on the loveseat. Mack and Frank were on the couch and Chris was on the recliner.

Anyway, I was in the middle of sipping my beer (a Sam Adams, bottle) when suddenly I felt Leo's hand on my thigh. I didn't bat an eyelash; after all, I'd expected it. He'd been flirting with me since the first night we'd met, and now here I was naked, sharing a blanket with him.

As his hand went between my thighs, I sipped my beer and casually spread my legs for him, and kept my eyes glued to the TV. Everyone else was staring at the game, too, as Leo's finger pressed inside me.

I got wet really quick. I sipped my beer. His warm finger was relentless, and pushed inside me to the knuckle within a moment.

I began to moan. At first, I tried to mask it. I tried to just breathe heavily. But whether from the excitement or the beer, or the realization that I wasn't fooling anybody, I suddenly didn't care. I began to moan, not too loud, but loud enough, as he fingered me beneath the blanket on the loveseat.

It was totally obvious that all the other guys in the room knew what was going on. They knew I was naked, and they could hear me. They knew that Leo's hand was beneath the blanket. It would be clear to a blind man what was happening!

Which is why I suddenly breathed: "You guys don't have to pretend not to be watching us!"

Everyone turned at once to look at me. I knew they'd been watching out of the corner of their eyes; now they were out-and-out staring.

Meanwhile, Leo continued to finger-fuck me. I could barely contain myself!

I suddenly became lost in it, in Leo's touch. Without a thought I threw the blanket covering us to the floor, and began to really writhe and scream as he made me cum, my pussy wet and tight around his finger, Mack and Chris and Frank watching on in stunned amazement.

...but it was one of those orgasms I let myself have, the kind that doesn't truly fulfill me. I wanted more.

Which is why, while the other guys watched on, I smiled and crawled up onto Leo's lap. I took out his cock quickly as I straddled him, then turned my back to him and lowered my pussy onto his hard cock.

His hands grabbed my tits as I began to bounce on his (disappointingly-sized) cock. It kept popping out of me, but I didn't care-- I had already cum. I just wanted attention now.

Oh, God. I fucked him like that in front of three strangers. Hell, he was practically a stranger too. After he came inside me, I let him push me to the floor.

He got a little rough with me at this point. He forced me to my knees and asked Frank if he wanted my ass. Frank agreed. So, to my surprise and not exactly with my consent, Frank fucked my butt. The fact that his girlfriend and I were friends didn't even seem to matter to him.

Mack did me next, in my pussy this time.

I could probably go to the cops and say they raped me. I mean, Leo fingered me. Then I willingly fucked him. But Frank and Mack and Chris? They just fucked me, with no regard at all as to how I felt. It was sort of like, they had planned this, or something. Or rather, that once the opportunity came up, I ceased to be anything but a willing slut to them.

I could probably go to the cops right now. I'm bruised and sore. Their cum is still inside me.

Why don't I? Because it was fucking awesome.

I'll be honest a sec. When Frank did me, it was wierd. I mean, I actually sort of know him. And I definitely know Star, his girlfriend. So I was a little nervous about all that.

When Chris began to fuck me, I began to get scared. I felt I had totally lost control. Plus, I was afraid of Pheonix!

Did I cum during all this? Yes, once or twice. But more than that was the... intensity of my emotions!

I felt so alive! In fact, my only regret is that I did each of them one-at-a-time. Blowjob, pussy. Anal, blowjob.

I wish I'd taken the opportunity to... you know. Have one in each hole. Oh, well.

I am such a slut, aren't I? I sure behaved like one yesterday!

Anyway. After the game was over, I was full of cum (we didn't use condoms, sorry, sorry... I know, bad mistake, but I'm on the pill and they seem clean!) and sort of drunk, and all I wanted to do was go home. Leo drove me home.

He walked me to my bed. Paul wasn't home, so I invited him to sleep with me. He did. We cuddled and I think he fucked me again while I slept, but I can't be sure. Later yesterday evening, he called me and asked if I wanted to have dinner. I agreed, and he brought me to a steakhouse. Basically the topic of conversation was this: Why it's important that I, Shannon, not tell Star about what happened.

Obviously, the other guys were a little worried. I got the impression that Frank was the most worried that I would blab. I assured Leo that I had no intention of doing so.

Later, the two of us met up with Star at a bar. Frank and her were there with Pheonix and Chris; Leo and I joined them and drank a bit (he paid for all my drinks!). It was a little weird hanging out with Star and Pheonix, seeing as I'd just been fucked by their boyfriends earlier that day. But if anything, Pheonix was being nicer to me than she had been that afternoon.

Star mentioned to me, by the way, that there's going to be an "amateur night" at her work on November 1st. She and Pheonix encouraged me to try it. I'm thinking of doing so. I don't know though!

How crazy is all this? I have no regrets, but I feel weird. I can't wait to hang out with my friend Laura tonight-- it'll make me feel more "normal", you know?

Anyway... quite a weekend, huh? :P

-shannon-

Strip Club part Deux

How's this for an election-year story?!? (And here I always thought Oklahoma was boring... now I sort of want to move there!)

Anyway, enough about politics! There's a lot I want to write about right now, but I don't have a ton of time. So let me try and be brief.

Remember the other day when I wrote about how if you're a girl, and you want to have a lot of fun, that you should go down to a strip-club by yourself? Well, a few days ago I was in an e-mail conversation with one of those awesome people who decided to help me out a bit financially through this site. I was thanking him for his donation, and he told me that he just wanted me to use the cash this time for fun. He said I deserved to have a little fun (or something along those lines). He even suggested I go back to that strip-club and just have a good ol' time.

Well, all this arm-twisting finally got to me, so the other day I cancelled plans to hang out with my girl Meadow and instead took a nice walk.

To the titty-bar! :O

Okay, honestly, how many women do you know (especially reasonably attractive 20-somethings) go to a stripclub, by themselves, just to hang out (unless they work there)? I don't know any. And neither did the stripper I met who I suddenly befriended.

I was there, alone, for about twenty minutes, and even paid for my first two drinks myself (because no one came over initially). Then I went up to the stage to tip the dancer, a beautiful brunette named Star (she eventually gave me her real name, but I won't reveal it here).

So after I tipped her, and she rubbed her breasts in my face (I was already a bit tipsy!), I suddenly found myself the center of attention the way I had been the last time I was there. A couple guys invited me to their table, and I joined them. They asked me what I was doing there and I said that I just like the atmosphere-- they asked if I was a lesbian, and I said that I was bisexual (I'm really not, I don't think-- but that's an issue that keeps coming up on this site, huh?).

Well, when Star got off stage, she joined the three of us. She sat in one of the guys' laps, but she and I basically talked as if they weren't there. Eventually one of them took her away for a private dance, and while they were gone the remaining guy and I talked and drank. I was getting pretty drunk, and pretty frisky-- the guy was cute in a very middle-aged-blue-collar type of way, and soon I was on his lap. Mostly because he kept me in shots and beer, but also because, well... that donor of mine did tell me to have fun! :P

When Star came back, my focus returned to her. Eventually she was onstage again, and I gave her another tip. Both guys grabbed my butt while I was doing this, but it fit with the atmosphere and my current mental state so I didn't really care.

The one guy I'd been flirting with the most asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him, and right after that both of them left (they asked me to join them, but I'm crazy, not stupid!). For the rest of the evening I spent pretty much all my time with Star. I was kept intoxicated by random guys who would come over to chat with her, but buy us both drinks. When I went to the bathroom from time to time, I'm sure I was mistaken for a waitress (I wasn't dressed properly to be mistaken for a dancer), because my ass was pinched about a thousand times.

Star eventually asked me if I wanted to hang out after the bar closed. I agreed, because hey, why not? So I was there for a loooong time... some other interesting stuff happened before closing, but I promised to be brief!

When the bar closed I was allowed to stay inside while all the other customers were filed out by bouncers and waitresses and stuff (Star told them all that I was like, her best friend). Then the two of us went out to her car and took off.

She asked where I lived, and I told her I didn't live alone, so we went to her place. She lives with her boyfriend and his brother, but she said they partied all the time so it'd be cool.

I should stress for a moment how much Star and I hit it off. She's really a sweetie! She's 23-years-old and has been dancing since she was 18. She really knows the job, but she's like... not sleazy. Well, maybe a little, but I think she really showed me her "real" side, you know? She never seemed like she was trying to hustle me or anything... and she wasn't jealous at all that I basically "used" her to get free drinks. The few times I said I might be leaving she actually begged me to stay!

So, we got to her place... I have to say, it's not the nicest place in the world, but hey, what can you do? When we got inside, sure enough, her boyfriend and his brother were playing an X-Box game and drinking beers. She had called ahead to let them know she was bringing over a friend, so immediately they were making room for us, getting me a beer, etc.

The brother (who I'll call Leo) obviously expected me to be all into him. He was probably about 30-years-old, pretty fit, but balding and sort of dirty. He looked like a landscapper, or a construction worker. Star's boyfriend (who I'll call Frank) was similar looking, a couple years younger, but it turned out he was a line-cook at some local restaurant. Both were really nice, but also really drunk (so I was I, though!).

The four of us ended up staying up until the sun rose hours later. I had quite a blast. God, I don't even know where to begin.

First, Star tried to convince me to get a job with her at the stripclub. She told me about how good the money is (which, btw, isn't nearly as good as I always thought! Tina, in TTT, makes an outrageous sum in comparison... I may need to change that in chapter 12 before I publish it to make it more realistic). She told me about how much fun she and the girls had. Well, I told her I didn't think I could, because my boobs aren't that big (she sports large C's, btw!).

I'll save you the details, but let's just say that after getting naked for my new friends they unonimously agreed that I should get a job there. I was naked the rest of the night, too, as was Star, by the way.

Nothing sexual ended up happening between any of us, as surprising as that may sound. There was heavy fliration, some simulated acts (like when Star ground against me for a good ten minutes to demonstrate how to do a lapdance; and when I "practiced" on Leo for a while, too), but nothing "real".

God, I was drunk. I was so drunk, I actually told them that I would get a job there.

I didn't mean it. The next day I realized how crazy that is-- I can't let that happen to me. You know? I can't be that girl-- you know the kind, the kind of girl who says, "I'm just stripping to put myself through college!". It would never work. In that kind of environment, I'd never end up returning to school. I just know me.

So, yeah... when the sun arose and Star's son (who, incidentally, is not Frank's son) woke up crying, Leo gave me a ride home. He was pretty hammered, but it was so early there was absolutely no traffic. I was so wasted he practically carried me to my apartment, where I managed to get the door open and stumble to my bed.

What a night. And guess what? She just called earlier today, to remind me that I'm supposed to meet up with Leo and go down to the bar tomorrow night (Friday). She told me that if I wanted to "work", she could arrange it, but I told her I was still trying to decide if I should... she said that was cool, but that I should definitely come down and "party". Her mom is watching her baby boy tomorrow, so we're supposed to all go out and party after she's done at work.

I'll probably go, but I'm not sure. I think I'll talk to Paul (my roommate) about what his thoughts about all this are. My only worry is that it'll come across as... you know, like an obvious attempt to make him jealous? Esepecially since last night, I finally met his slutty fuck-friend (oops, did I say that? I meant his girlfriend!). She's sort of cute, if you like women who have the bodies of 8-year-old boys, that is.

Sigh. Okay, I gotta run. Thanks everyone for your comments, I truly do read them all!

-shannon-

Day in the Park

Yesterday I grabbed my backpack, an old binder which I knew contained plenty of notepaper (because it was from a semester I hadn't taken many notes!), and headed down to the park to enjoy what remains of summer.

It was very relaxing, and a lot of fun... plus, something happened that was a bit unexpected (even for me). I had planned on working on a piece of fiction I've been writing (a non-sex story), but it turned out that in this old binder was the story "14-Year-Old Sandwich" by Dr. Wu, which I had forgotten I'd printed out about a year ago to read in bed... but then I'd stuffed it into this binder to hide, and now, all this time later, here it was!

In my hands. The sky blue, the air fresh, the sun shining... and me sitting underneath a large tree on a rusty bench, one of my favorite sex stories at my disposal.

I hadn't been in "that" frame of mind when I got to the park. But I couldn't resist; I began to read!

God, what a great story! I ended up reading the whole thing, and by the end, believe me, I was pretty worked up.

It felt sort of perverted of me to be reading such a story in public, but I think that's what made me keep reading in a way... it sort of played to the exhibitionist in me! I was only interrupted twice during the entire reading (which took about 90 minutes I think): once from a phone call, the second by a man walking his dog who wanted to know if I knew where the nearest FexEx drop-off box was (I didn't know). It was fun.

Suffice to say that when I got back home, I was fit to be tied.

After having a little fun with myself (to put it mildly), I went out with some new friends of mine (who I met through my new roommate, who as you know is an old friend of mine!). He (the roommate) couldn't go out with us, but me and his three friends (all guys) went to a local coffee house and just sort of chilled all night. I got wired on caffeine. It was fun.

My living situation continues to improve, by the way. My roommate and I (I should just give him a fake name already! Hmm... how about Paul?) have come to sort of an understanding. He's in love with me, and I think I'm in love with him, but he doesn't want to get together with me right now. He wants to wait and see how things progress in my life, which I'm fine with. The only issue had been my worry that he'd expect me to "wait" for him--- you know me. I can't just wait around for him to make up his mind.

Well, we talked about that. He actually admitted to me that he's been seeing this girl for a few weeks (I was shocked-- he had never told me about her!). He claims it's nothing serious, that he's just having fun. So I said I might want to have "fun" too, and he seemed fine with that.

Now, here's my question. What happens when this girl he's seeing stops putting out? Will he "demand" I settle down with him, then? Will I still want to?

And on the other hand, what if things with this mystery girl get really serious? Will he eventually want me to move out so she can move in? Will she even be cool with him living with a girl in the meantime?

And what if while I'm having "fun", he suddenly gets all jealous?

Argh. I need to focus on the present. At present, things are good. Why worry about the future?

Strip Clubs and Such

I keep forgetting to mention this! A while back our resident porn-collector on the Forbidden Forum, SixSixSix, posted a great message on how to collect some porn for free on the 'net. The best thing he wrote about was this little program called "EZPics". It bills itself as "The greatest program in the world", and it really is... at least so far as collecting a lot of good porn pictures goes!

The reason I've been meaning to mention this program is because it really does work great. I'm in love with it!!! But unfortunately, it seems that I'm in the minority. Why? Because no one posts any new EZCodes there!!!

I've been posting codes (like, for the blue-haired girl, for instance). But it's like, hardly anyone else does. Why?!? Why not share free pix that you find on the net with everyone else?!? :P

And so, to summarize: EZPics? Not an easy program to learn, but once learned, you'll help not only yourself but everyone else by using it properly. Totally cool.

By the way, I don't know the EZPics people; I don't get paid to plug them; I'm just a fan!!! ...who happens to want more people to post codes. So she can get more pix. That's all! :P

Okay. Moving on! There's something I wanted to share with all my female fans out there (guys, you can read this, but it won't pertain to you so much! ...well, maybe a little...).

Ever feel lonely? Ever feel unattractive? Ever feel socially isolated?

I have a piece of advice for you: go to a strip-club... by yourself.

Tonight, I did just that. For the first time ever, I went to a "gentleman's" club alone.

Why? Well, it all started earlier this evening. I had no plans for tonight. I was sort of sad, a bit bored, but determined not to let these feelings devolve into depression. So I took a walk.

Walks can be invigorating. I walked for about an hour, smoking and walking, ignoring my ringing cell-phone (which, btw, I just had turned back on! Yay!). Suddenly I came to---

Okay, I shouldn't mention the street names (someone might recognize them). But anyway, they're two major roads. And at the corner, there, is a little strip-club called SlutHouse (duh, not really! Again, I'm making up a name to protect my anonimity).

For some reason I decided to go inside. I sort of had to pee, but not really (but that was the excuse I gave myself). Now, I've been to strip-clubs before, duh. But never by myself. Never alone.

I will again. It was awesome. Seriously, it was the most fun!

Once more I have to say this to all my female readers: if you ever want attention, go to a stripclub alone. Seriously! Totally rad. Totally worth it.

I was the most popular girl in the room, almost immediately. You have no idea what it felt like. The strippers there? Way more attractive than me: naked, big boobs, dancing! But seriously? All the guys stared at little old me, not them.

The doorman even walked me to a table, and he waved the cover-charge for the night.

I never paid a dime. Which is good, because I only had $11 on me! Almost immeidately I was accosted by men, wanting to buy me drinks.

I'm not supposed to drink right now, but I'll admit it... I did. I mean, I was so awestruck, so fucking shell-shocked by the attention I was receiving... how could I *not* accept the offers from these men?!?

The strippers, by the way? Even nicer than the guys. One of the girls, who said her "real" name was Maria, became my like, best friend for the night. Apparently some guy paid *her* to take *me* upstairs to the "private" room. At first we just talked, and I asked her a *ton* of questions about her work (I was hoping to learn even more about strip-clubs for the benefit of my story, Trailer Trash Teen!!!). Eventually, though, she started to dance for me.

Guys, I'm not a lesbian. But... whoa! Whoa. She sure knew what she was doing. I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, after that little session, I went back down to the floor. Once again guys bought me tons of drinks... it was crazy. Seriously crazy! There were hot naked women on stage, but everyone had their eyes glued to me, it seemed! I was absolutely the most popular girl in the room. Totally.

Eventually I was drunk, horny, and fucking crazy. Thank God that I realized this! Because when I stood to leave, finally, I was nearly dragged back down by the men sitting at my table. But I insisted that I had to go, and eventually I did.

Sigh. It truly was a great time. An awesome time. I've never felt so wanted, so needed before. I didn't spend a dime (except for the $9.50 it took a cab to drive me back), yet I got really hammered and was the center of attention for over two hours.

When I've been to these clubs before, with other guys, nothing like this ever occurred. Now I know why: because all the clientile there saw me as some bitch with her buddies.

When I went there alone tonight, I was just some bitch!

Anyway. I'm not going to do this often. But to all my female fans out there, let me tell you this:

If you want a good time, go to a stripclub by yourself!

More tomorrow!

-shannon-

Getting Back to Normal

Wow, what a last few weeks... months... years. Huh?

I'm writing to you now from the same person's apartment, where I have completely moved in. It's a really nice set-up! Perfect for the two of us. Basically it's a two-bedroom, and each room has its own bathroom. Plus my friend has a kick-ass entertainment system-- HDTV, plasma screen television! I cannot *wait* to watch some porn on that...

I sure do have a one-track mind, don't I?

Seriously, though, it's been a while since I've been laid and I'm going a bit crazy over it. But it's okay. Really. I can handle it.

Ahhhh! No I can't! :P

I'm currently looking for a new job, since I lost my last one. That's a really long story. Basically I was put on medical leave again, only I didn't have any medical leave left. So I was fired. My insurance will be running out soon, but thankfully I should have enough meds to last me until I get new insurance (assuming I can get a job really quick!). Otherwise I'm pretty much fucked, from a medical point of view.

One piece of good news? When I was in the hospital this last time they gave me an entire physical, and I'm A-Okay! No STD's, nothing wrong at all. I've always been so lucky when it comes to my health, and I do practice safe-sex and all, but still... it's always nerve-racking waiting for those results, isn't it? Especially when you have an overly active sex-life.

At least that's one less thing to worry about!

Okay, I'll write some more later. Thanks everyone for your comments-- your support really does mean the world to me!

-shannon-

People care, but

...they don't want to help!

It's okay. It is. I have people out here who do care, and can help. So trust me, when I have begged for donations online here (in this blog and on the regular site!), it has only been because... well.

Shoot!

Okay. Things aren't going well for me right now. I have been so desperate lately, that I've actually begun begging for money online. How stupid is that? I want to run a free website, but I want people to give me money? Dumb.

Here's the latest. I'm living with a "friend" of mine, who offered to take me in (thank God). Had he not done so, I literally knew of a house downtown where people squat. What other choice would I have had? Thank God he offered me this place.

And now, duh, I'm in love with him. Seriously, he's so great. So great. Yet I'm all alone... you know? I feel like I'm such a burden. When can I ever have the chance to not be the burden? For once, I'd love to not be the chore!

We aren't fucking, him and I. I've tried, but he's... well, he put it like this: "Shannon, I love you. I love you so much that I can't let my dreams of you occur whilst you're in such a state."

I know what he means. He doesn't believe that I love him back... he thinks I only say that because of the situation I'm in right now.

Maybe he's right, even. God, I don't know.

Anyway... I'm sort of back online. But only through the charity of Him. I am worth nothing right now, and if he kicked me out, I'd be fucked. Can you blame him for doubting my love for him? Can you blame me for doubting myself?

-shannon-

Really super quick!

Really quick! I will post more tomorrow, but for now... let me ask this! I just had an idea.

No one is donating money to my site. Well, two people (total cash = $60) did. But that sucks. I am so so so so so so so so so..

(an hour later)

...sosososososos, SO broke.

I didn't think anyone would, but it was worth a shot. And I really had hoped that the fans of my site would contribute! Oh, well.

Let me ask this though... what if I offered *sound files* to people if they donated to me? *ONLY* to ppl who donated, though? Sound files of me reading TTT (I'm a good actress btw! I can do multiple voices!)? Or just... I don't know.

I'd rather it just be TTT. Maybe I could read blog/diary entries. But I don't really want to do that. But would anyone pay $ (any amount?), to hear my *real* voice read TTT or, well, anything? I could post them to some secret part of the site... in one big file and also in several broken up files (for slow connections). I think I have a nice voice... very feminine, very sensual (when I want it to be!). I've been *told* that I'm awesome at phonesex. I can be a girl, a teenager, a woman... tenative, bold, slutty, shy... sincere, a liar... so long as its a feminine role, I can do it! (I do suck at male voices, though... shit, I do have guys in TTT. I can try though.)

Would anyone pay for that? Would any of you pay some money to hear me read TTT, or to read anything? Is my voice worth anything?!?

lol... I just reread all that. Crazy.

Please post comments! I really just got struck with this idea... I think that people would pay for this, but maybe I'm wrong. But either way, a voice is just a voice... my anonmity wouldn't be comprimised. However, why go through the hassle for nothing?

...but now I sort of want to do it anyway! But I won't. My webmaster won't let me. It would cost too much (for bandwidth). Complain to the SM... or promise you'll donate!

-shannon-