I can'TTT!
Why can't I do this? Why can't I finish writing Trailer Trash Teen?
I began it so long ago. It feels like a lifetime ago that I started this website and subsequently posted the first chapter of the story that has been in my heart for so, so long. I mean, I'm on like my twenty-billionth version of chapter 12! And I can't get it done. If I could just finish this chapter I know, I just know!, that I could finish the story. It's not like I don't know how I want the story to go, you know? I've always known... always!!! The problem is that I just don't know how to tell it anymore. I just... gosh, how can I tell it?!? :(
Sorry for the drama, but... who can I say this to? I mean... I've been feeling like this ever since I finished my little easy-to-write story, A Teen Slut's Saga. I mean, that was so cake. So fucking fun and simple and neat! TTT is a totally different monster.
And what's with my obsession with finishing a story that no one would ever publish; a story that's graphically pornographic; a story that is just... sick, a story no one even really likes?!? I mean... okay! I finsihed TSS, but did I really? No, I didn't. I got halfway through. Because yes, it does have a sequel in the works, a sequel I'm not sure I can ever finish (I'm about 2/3 of the way through).
Why am I so obsessed? And why do I always ask questions that I already know the answers to? Grrr...
On another topic, I have a new boyfriend! Yes, I know, you hate me. For a long (long) while now I've avoided serious relationships, and I know that plays into your fantasies of me being a total slut or whatever, and I don't mind that... in fact, I think that's part of the reason I've refrained from getting seriously involved with anyone for a while (since my last... nevermind. If you know you know, if you don't, then: Welcome to my site! :P).
He's incredibly smart, btw. Very, very smart. Too smart for me, actually, and mark my words, that's what will ruin us...! LoL, see?!? I've already doomed us!
But anyway! He manages the day-shift at a bookstore that's right next to the coffee-place near my work. Despite his current job he's got this sort of alpha-male thing about him, this sort of... domineering personality that really turns me on. He's not in the best of shape (he's actually a little hunky to be honest) but there's something about his... aura? Whatever. There's just something about him I find hot. His... sigh.
He doesn't know anything about me, though. The only reason he likes me is because I'm almost ten years younger than him, I'm skinny and attractive, and I'm an obvious victim looking for a new victimizer.
I just said a bunch of bad stuff about him! Let me be nicer:
1.) He's smart and aggressive and totally unpretentious!
2.) He's honest! You know, in a real way... he never BS's me, he's just... real. Shrugs!
3.) If he lost 30 pounds he could be Vin Deisel's stunt double. HONEST!
Obviously "Ali" has taken up a lot of my life recently... I spend all of my time with him, unless I'm working, but even then we text all the time... And the reason I'm typing here about him at 4am is because, obviously!, he was a jerk tonight. And I...
...grr.
He's Muslim. Last night I met his mother, not an American, and she hates me. I got into a fight with him about that last night. And then tonight, guess what I did? I did one of my private shows for good money given the short hours ($250!) and then went home and had the audacity to get mad that his mom would consider me a whore.
His mom thinks I'm a whore. My only defense can be that she doesn't know what a whore I am sometimes, you know?!? And these last two months since he's been with me, you know, I figured he didn't mind me not being Muslim, that he didn't mind what I did... I mean, he never asked! I never lied, I just never told him everything. But now, suddenly, he's a 30-something born-again Muslim, and he's asking me...
I can't even say it. Sorry, I need to log. I need to sleep!
-shannon-
~rambler!~
I began it so long ago. It feels like a lifetime ago that I started this website and subsequently posted the first chapter of the story that has been in my heart for so, so long. I mean, I'm on like my twenty-billionth version of chapter 12! And I can't get it done. If I could just finish this chapter I know, I just know!, that I could finish the story. It's not like I don't know how I want the story to go, you know? I've always known... always!!! The problem is that I just don't know how to tell it anymore. I just... gosh, how can I tell it?!? :(
Sorry for the drama, but... who can I say this to? I mean... I've been feeling like this ever since I finished my little easy-to-write story, A Teen Slut's Saga. I mean, that was so cake. So fucking fun and simple and neat! TTT is a totally different monster.
And what's with my obsession with finishing a story that no one would ever publish; a story that's graphically pornographic; a story that is just... sick, a story no one even really likes?!? I mean... okay! I finsihed TSS, but did I really? No, I didn't. I got halfway through. Because yes, it does have a sequel in the works, a sequel I'm not sure I can ever finish (I'm about 2/3 of the way through).
Why am I so obsessed? And why do I always ask questions that I already know the answers to? Grrr...
On another topic, I have a new boyfriend! Yes, I know, you hate me. For a long (long) while now I've avoided serious relationships, and I know that plays into your fantasies of me being a total slut or whatever, and I don't mind that... in fact, I think that's part of the reason I've refrained from getting seriously involved with anyone for a while (since my last... nevermind. If you know you know, if you don't, then: Welcome to my site! :P).
He's incredibly smart, btw. Very, very smart. Too smart for me, actually, and mark my words, that's what will ruin us...! LoL, see?!? I've already doomed us!
But anyway! He manages the day-shift at a bookstore that's right next to the coffee-place near my work. Despite his current job he's got this sort of alpha-male thing about him, this sort of... domineering personality that really turns me on. He's not in the best of shape (he's actually a little hunky to be honest) but there's something about his... aura? Whatever. There's just something about him I find hot. His... sigh.
He doesn't know anything about me, though. The only reason he likes me is because I'm almost ten years younger than him, I'm skinny and attractive, and I'm an obvious victim looking for a new victimizer.
I just said a bunch of bad stuff about him! Let me be nicer:
1.) He's smart and aggressive and totally unpretentious!
2.) He's honest! You know, in a real way... he never BS's me, he's just... real. Shrugs!
3.) If he lost 30 pounds he could be Vin Deisel's stunt double. HONEST!
Obviously "Ali" has taken up a lot of my life recently... I spend all of my time with him, unless I'm working, but even then we text all the time... And the reason I'm typing here about him at 4am is because, obviously!, he was a jerk tonight. And I...
...grr.
He's Muslim. Last night I met his mother, not an American, and she hates me. I got into a fight with him about that last night. And then tonight, guess what I did? I did one of my private shows for good money given the short hours ($250!) and then went home and had the audacity to get mad that his mom would consider me a whore.
His mom thinks I'm a whore. My only defense can be that she doesn't know what a whore I am sometimes, you know?!? And these last two months since he's been with me, you know, I figured he didn't mind me not being Muslim, that he didn't mind what I did... I mean, he never asked! I never lied, I just never told him everything. But now, suddenly, he's a 30-something born-again Muslim, and he's asking me...
I can't even say it. Sorry, I need to log. I need to sleep!
-shannon-
~rambler!~
Labels: stuff about me
posted by Shannon at 3:52 AM
57 comments
