Dear friend of my website:
Please stop sending me pictures of your cock. Seriously. I'm not trying to be rude! I like the attention. And I know that you spent a lot of time getting hard (pun intended) and all, and snapping a pic of your thing, and even more time transferring that image to your computer and sending it on to me. I know that it was hard work (pun not intended) and that I should be grateful. But honestly? I'm not.
Look. I've seen cocks. I've seen tons of cocks in my day. Big and small, black and white. I've even seen
uncircumcised ones! There is no way you can impress me or surprise me with your cock. Unless, of course, you have a star of
David tattooed above an uncut dick, but I'd laugh so hard (pun
intended) at that that I'd probably forget to become sexually aroused.
And yes, guys, cocks do arouse me. They do. This isn't about me being a carpet-munching
Femanazi who hates the sight of a good hard dick. I like dick. I really do. But your dick? Not so much.
The problem, you see, is that your dick is boring. Even if it's huge, even if it's jerking off, even if it's jerking off onto a love letter you wrote to me... it's boring. There's nothing you can do to make it exciting short of becoming
uncircumcised and proving
you're one of the chosen people with aforementioned tattoo. Now that I think of it, even that wouldn't be exciting. It would just be weird and funny.
Gentlemen, let me explain something to you: your dick is not like my tits. Sorry, it just isn't. Men can't get enough of tits, but us women can get bored with cock. Truly.
Let me put it to you this way: what color are my eyes? Can't answer that, can you? Well, duh, it makes sense that you can't answer that question about me (hopefully). But try answering the same question about your girlfriend. Or your wife. Or, lacking either, that chick you dig who doesn't know you exist (yet!). Do you know her eye color?
Now let me ask you: aren't you pretty sure you know her breast size?
Lol, yes, you can probably guess, at least.
Look, guys. I see your cock and its size the way you see my eye-color. I barely notice anything about it except to think, 'Good, he has a cock'. You see my eyes and think, 'Wow, she has eyes!' Sending pictures to me of your thing will not turn me on anymore than if I sent you closeups of my eyes. Spamming me with your pictures will only piss me off.
I know it's hard (pun intended) to resist, guys, but seriously? The next time you feel tempted to send me a picture of your cock, think about this: "Cocks are not snowflakes, they are not inherently unique. 95% of them are exactly alike. And Shannon has seen them all, including the other 5%. Her
GMail inbox borders near its 6
gb capacity because of pix from people who so love their cocks they just had to share pix of them with her, but that is folly. FOLLY!"
(dramatic enough? yeah, i thought so, too!)
...all that being said, a cock that penetrates something biological is not boring. That's porn! Self pix of your cock... boring. Boring and a waste of my time and yours. Strange how thin the difference is, isn't it? But it's true.
Sincerely,
shannonLabels: fan mail, humor, stuff about me