31 January 2004

Last weekend was totally insane!

Where can I possibly begin? Okay, I guess I should start with Dennis.

"Who's Dennis?" you ask? Lol! It's really, really hard to explain. Dennis is this guy I met a few weeks ago, on my first day in class (yes, I'm taking classes again as promised!) for the new semester. Now, only a few weeks later, he's like my best friend in the world. I feel like I've known him my entire life. Literally! It's like... he's one of those people who you meet, and it's just like, "Duh, it's so-and-so! I know him/her!" (even though you don't).

The reason it's complicated is because Dennis and I, well, we aren't a couple. But we sort of behave like one at times... strange. But he's definitely a strange guy. Cute, but unique looking-- sort of like a 21st century beat-nick, except he's not pretentious at all. He's tall, and skinny, but not weak looking. He's got these great, gray eyes and a somber voice that's so easy to listen to. He plays the guitar and sings wonderfully, but he hates pretty much all music except techno, which he can't make. He's an artist, but understands he has to make a living and so he's studying graphic design. He sleeps in a hammock (literally); he loves drugs but despises smoking-- in short, he's a complicated guy!

Well, he and I started hanging out a lot. I don't know why he wanted to hang out with me so much. He never came on to me, but treated me like a best friend right off the bat. When I met his other friends, I felt so out of place-- they're all like him. Complicated. Fascinating. Then there's little old me...

But anyway. Last weekend, on Friday, we started hanging out right after class. We got pretty hammered at a bar near his house, then went there and waited for his friends: two girls, one guy. Then the five of us went to this club.

On the way there, we smoked weed. Now, I used to smoke weed a lot, but until I started hanging out with Dennis I had pretty much quit. But it's like-- he's so casual about it! It's nothing bad, nothing awesome, just something to do that's fun. You know?

We got to the club pretty wasted. I was blown out of my mind-- and I get really, really paranoid when I'm high. So for the first hour or so at the club, I pretty much sat at a table with the girls (Katie and Cita ) while Dennis walked around, dancing and mingling and having a blast.

Then he came back over, eventually, and offered the three of us some Ecstasy. Katie and Cita acted like they'd been waiting for him to get it, while I was stoned and completely like, "Huh!?!". I had no idea that a.) Dennis did harder drugs or b.) that he thought I would do them, too.

Well, I won't go into the details of my mental conflict. Suffice to say, I eventually relented and popped the pill. Immediately I got even more paranoid, frantically asking Katie, Cita, and Dennis what was going to happen. They told me just to relax...

An hour passed, maybe two. I don't know because I can hardly remember. The next thing I know I was looking around with new eyes. The techno-beat music of the crowded club permeated my entire body. I felt... warm, and happy, and tingly. It was surreal.

At one point Katie took my hand in hers. She kept explaining that we were "rolling", that we were okay, that I should relax. Boy, was I relaxed! The feeling of her hand in hers was... incredibly. I squeezed her hand, and she squeezed mine, as I sit in the chair with a stupid grin on my face, staring off into... what?

Unless you've rolled, it's really hard to describe how it feels. I think a lot of people have this misconception, that while on E you get really horny. Not true! However, you do feel a ton of love for like... everything and everyone. Every thought is happy and good; every sensation is deep and soothing. It's amazing.

Eventually I took Cita's hand in my other one. For what felt like an hour or more, the three of us sat around this small round table, holding hands. Occasionally one of us would say something, but generally we were quiet. I kept staring out onto the dancefloor, where all those moving bodies were writhing against strobe lights and a deep, thrumming sound.

That's when I realized I had to dance! I got up, and walked over to the dance floor (walking, btw, also feels *incredible* on E!) and started to dance. It had been a long time since I'd danced at a club like this, but it used to be one of my favorite things and I think I did well. I danced with a lot of different people-- men and women. In my head, they were all rolling too (although, of course, they weren't).

I think guys kept grabbing me on the floor. I know my ass was grabbed a lot (happens *all* the time if you're a girl on a dance floor at a club like this), but rather than stop them I just... enjoyed it! It felt good. I got freaky with a *lot* of guys, and I think a couple of girls... the feeling of their hands/bodies against me was just... better than sex. Almost.

Do you understand yet, what it's like? On E, everything-- everything!-- feels AWESOME. Plus, you just want to do everything. You want to experience everything. And you never want it to end.

Dennis found me eventually and took me back to the table. If he hadn't, I might have collapsed on the floor. I was sweating from head to toe. He gave me water, and then the two of us (Katie and Cita weren't there) talked about... everything.

We held hands. It was good. Then, impossibly, the house lights came up! We'd gotten to the club at around 10, and already it was 2am. I stayed at the table as Dennis found everyone else, then we went back to his house.

By the time we got there, my rolls were pretty much over. When the house lights came up, it was like my roll had been powered down-- something about the darkness, the music, and the strobes were as much a part of the feelings of Ecstasy as the pill itself had been.

So we got to the house (and here's where my memories *really* get jumbled!). Katie, Cita, and I sat on a sofa while Dennis and Matt sat on the floor. We were all talking about E, and I was sort of the center of attention-- they all wanted to know how I'd liked it. I was still sort of rolling, but hardly at all, and I just kept saying how perfect it was.

And then Katie decided to produce, from her purse, three more pills. She'd been saving them, she said, but if we all wanted to, we could give our rolls a "jump".

She took a whole one, and the rest of us took halves. Dennis put on some good techno and a black light, and soon I was feeling it again-- though not as intensely as I had at the club.

I had told Katie how awesome holding her hands had been, and now she wanted to give me a backrub. She'd promised it'd feel like heaven-- and boy, was she right. I laid down on my belly on the sofa, and she stradled my back, and... I can't even explain.

Cita, at this point, seemed out of commision. She was sitting in another chair, a grin on her pretty latina face, staring off and enjoying the music. But then I saw something else that shocked me.

Dennis and Matt were making out! Now, Dennis had told me he was bisexual. But I hadn't really believed it, you know? But as I watched him and Matt, on the floor, Dennis on top as they kissed and ran their hands over each other, I was just... taken in. It was almost more interesting to watch then the dancers at the club had been!

Soon, Katie stopped massaging me and sort of laid atop my body instead. Her hands were still sort of caressing me, though. And even though I didn't feel horny, I just wanted to... feel her. You know? Experience everything...

I managed to roll over, so that our breasts were pressed against each other. She'd obviously been waiting for this, because soon we, too, were making out. Not passionately, not erotically-- just, not to sound corny, but... lovingly. You know?

Her lips against mine... it was amazing.

We ended up getting topless, but it didn't go further than that. We played with each other, caressed each other, and kissed continuously. But there was no actual sex, nor did either of us seem to want that. All I wanted was to feel her lips and her hands; my nipples between her fingers, hers between mine; her hands through my hair (in-credible, by the way)...

This went on, literally, all night. I would get up, get some water, go pee (that felt really good, too, btw!). But I kept returning to the sofa, where Katie and I would start kissing again... sometimes lying atop each other, sometimes sitting with our legs entangled.

Matt and Dennis, meanwhile, did the same thing pretty much. They actually got completely naked, and at one point I noticed them playing with each others' penieses. But they were flaccid-- I was later told that guys can't get it up while rolling, but that it still feels really good to be touched there.

The sun coming up ended everything. Cita took a shower first, then Katie and I took one (separately). Dennis let me sleep in his bedroom, on his bed, while he passed out in his hammock.

Dennis and I woke up late the next day (Saturday). We had lunch, and talked about everything. I wanted to do it again as soon as possible, and he was game.

And so, that night, we ended up rolling again. This time we got to the club at 9pm or so, and only Katie came with us. I won't go into the details of what happened, because it was pretty much the same thing. When the lights came up, we went back to his place.

This time, we didn't take any more E when we got there, though. As a matter of fact, Katie had to go home right away. But Dennis and I did something else instead: speed.

Wow. Talk about the exact opposite of E! Dennis says that speed is the perfect drug to take at the end of a roll, and I've got to say the boy's right... the two of us talked endlessly about everything, while at the same time playing with each other.

That's right, playing with each other. It was very surreal. We talked all hyper (especailly me-- I was hyper, jittery, insane!) while his hand played with my pussy. And mine played with his dick. It was all almost... natural. There wasn't any, "Do you like this?" or any sex-speak, just sort-of regular conversation (albeit regular conversation at 100mph!) while we messed around. And yes, I got naked, and yes, so did he. But even though he had a hard-on, neither of us were like... horny. Well, it's hard to explain. We were horny, obviously, but not to the point of cumming.

Then-- and here's a big bombshell for you!-- I ended up telling him about this website! I don't know why, I just started telling him. I've never told anyone in real life about this site before. But he sat there, enthralled, his finger in my pussy (which was impossibly slick, btw) as I told him all about it: how it began, what sort of stories were on it, etc. I told him everything.

He wanted to see it. He has an awesome computer, and we used it to boot up this very website. He spent probably 45-minutes to an hour studying it, while I decided to take a shower; walk around frantically looking for my cigarettes; etc.

When he was done, he asked if I wanted more speed. I said no, because I was still really goinig. But he took half of one, so I decided to, too.

He was really cool about the site. He swore he wouldn't tell anyone else. He told me that he thought it was fucking awesome I made something like this, that I had this sort of dual personality.

Anyway. This was at about 5am or so, I think. We went into his bedroom, and just went nuts in bed. I can't even describe it-- we were both high on speed, horny as hell now, obsessed with each others' bodies. It was the craziest sex I've ever had!

And it lasted, oh, two hours or so? We fucked every which way, believe me. I even let him do me in the ass, something I'm never keen on. But it all felt wonderful, and when he came for the last time (yes, he came more than once!) we collapsed into the mattress together.

But I was still strung out on speed, unable to sleep. So was he. So we just laid there, talking, until eventually he said he had to go to work!

I hadn't known he needed to go to work. He said I could stay there and use his computer, though. So I did. It was about... 10 or 11. He left, and I went online. I even started doing an update to this site, because I was so excited I wanted to tell everyone about my weekend!

But I got into a conversation with Spencer, which (sorry Spencer!) was probably really jumbled and crazy. I was still incredibly hyper from the speed. My heart was racing, my fingers trembling, and I probably looked all cracked out from the crazy sex and drugs.

I think I kept going over the same little details over and over again, and I *know* that I continuously apologized to him for being so crazy! But, good old Spencer, he hung in there and let me get a lot off my chest.

I don't know at what point I finally cmae down, but it was sudden. It was more like a crash! One moment I couldn't sit still, the next I had to pass out.

And that's what I did. I passed out in Dennis' bed. And I didn't end up waking up until 4am Monday morning!

Work that day was fucked up. I was hung over like you wouldn't believe, and I didn't feel normal at all. In fact, I didn't feel normal again until roughly Wednesday. Too much partying...

Dennis and I hung out a couple times that week. We're definitely not a couple-- he's sort of seeing Matt and this other guy, apparently. I don't know what "we" are, but I'm fine with what it is! We're not "together" but we're like, best friends... with benefits. We haven't had sex since last week, though.

Last night (Friday) we smoked some pot at his place and watched a movie. Simple, fun, good. But tonight...

Okay. Tonight (Saturday)! He's bringing me to an honest-to-God rave. I've been to raves before, but he promises that this will be unlike anything I've ever experienced. I believe him!

We're going to roll again. Katie is going to come, but Matt definitely can't. Maybe a couple other people will come, too... who knows?

I'll definitely let you all know how it goes!

*Please don't send me any e-mails telling me you're "worried" about me for using drugs... I'm not in the mood for that right now!