Day in the Park
Yesterday I grabbed my backpack, an old binder which I knew contained plenty of notepaper (because it was from a semester I hadn't taken many notes!), and headed down to the park to enjoy what remains of summer.
It was very relaxing, and a lot of fun... plus, something happened that was a bit unexpected (even for me). I had planned on working on a piece of fiction I've been writing (a non-sex story), but it turned out that in this old binder was the story "14-Year-Old Sandwich" by Dr. Wu, which I had forgotten I'd printed out about a year ago to read in bed... but then I'd stuffed it into this binder to hide, and now, all this time later, here it was!
In my hands. The sky blue, the air fresh, the sun shining... and me sitting underneath a large tree on a rusty bench, one of my favorite sex stories at my disposal.
I hadn't been in "that" frame of mind when I got to the park. But I couldn't resist; I began to read!
God, what a great story! I ended up reading the whole thing, and by the end, believe me, I was pretty worked up.
It felt sort of perverted of me to be reading such a story in public, but I think that's what made me keep reading in a way... it sort of played to the exhibitionist in me! I was only interrupted twice during the entire reading (which took about 90 minutes I think): once from a phone call, the second by a man walking his dog who wanted to know if I knew where the nearest FexEx drop-off box was (I didn't know). It was fun.
Suffice to say that when I got back home, I was fit to be tied.
After having a little fun with myself (to put it mildly), I went out with some new friends of mine (who I met through my new roommate, who as you know is an old friend of mine!). He (the roommate) couldn't go out with us, but me and his three friends (all guys) went to a local coffee house and just sort of chilled all night. I got wired on caffeine. It was fun.
My living situation continues to improve, by the way. My roommate and I (I should just give him a fake name already! Hmm... how about Paul?) have come to sort of an understanding. He's in love with me, and I think I'm in love with him, but he doesn't want to get together with me right now. He wants to wait and see how things progress in my life, which I'm fine with. The only issue had been my worry that he'd expect me to "wait" for him--- you know me. I can't just wait around for him to make up his mind.
Well, we talked about that. He actually admitted to me that he's been seeing this girl for a few weeks (I was shocked-- he had never told me about her!). He claims it's nothing serious, that he's just having fun. So I said I might want to have "fun" too, and he seemed fine with that.
Now, here's my question. What happens when this girl he's seeing stops putting out? Will he "demand" I settle down with him, then? Will I still want to?
And on the other hand, what if things with this mystery girl get really serious? Will he eventually want me to move out so she can move in? Will she even be cool with him living with a girl in the meantime?
And what if while I'm having "fun", he suddenly gets all jealous?
Argh. I need to focus on the present. At present, things are good. Why worry about the future?
It was very relaxing, and a lot of fun... plus, something happened that was a bit unexpected (even for me). I had planned on working on a piece of fiction I've been writing (a non-sex story), but it turned out that in this old binder was the story "14-Year-Old Sandwich" by Dr. Wu, which I had forgotten I'd printed out about a year ago to read in bed... but then I'd stuffed it into this binder to hide, and now, all this time later, here it was!
In my hands. The sky blue, the air fresh, the sun shining... and me sitting underneath a large tree on a rusty bench, one of my favorite sex stories at my disposal.
I hadn't been in "that" frame of mind when I got to the park. But I couldn't resist; I began to read!
God, what a great story! I ended up reading the whole thing, and by the end, believe me, I was pretty worked up.
It felt sort of perverted of me to be reading such a story in public, but I think that's what made me keep reading in a way... it sort of played to the exhibitionist in me! I was only interrupted twice during the entire reading (which took about 90 minutes I think): once from a phone call, the second by a man walking his dog who wanted to know if I knew where the nearest FexEx drop-off box was (I didn't know). It was fun.
Suffice to say that when I got back home, I was fit to be tied.
After having a little fun with myself (to put it mildly), I went out with some new friends of mine (who I met through my new roommate, who as you know is an old friend of mine!). He (the roommate) couldn't go out with us, but me and his three friends (all guys) went to a local coffee house and just sort of chilled all night. I got wired on caffeine. It was fun.
My living situation continues to improve, by the way. My roommate and I (I should just give him a fake name already! Hmm... how about Paul?) have come to sort of an understanding. He's in love with me, and I think I'm in love with him, but he doesn't want to get together with me right now. He wants to wait and see how things progress in my life, which I'm fine with. The only issue had been my worry that he'd expect me to "wait" for him--- you know me. I can't just wait around for him to make up his mind.
Well, we talked about that. He actually admitted to me that he's been seeing this girl for a few weeks (I was shocked-- he had never told me about her!). He claims it's nothing serious, that he's just having fun. So I said I might want to have "fun" too, and he seemed fine with that.
Now, here's my question. What happens when this girl he's seeing stops putting out? Will he "demand" I settle down with him, then? Will I still want to?
And on the other hand, what if things with this mystery girl get really serious? Will he eventually want me to move out so she can move in? Will she even be cool with him living with a girl in the meantime?
And what if while I'm having "fun", he suddenly gets all jealous?
Argh. I need to focus on the present. At present, things are good. Why worry about the future?
Labels: stuff about me
posted by Shannon at 10:33 AM
5 Comments:
I was just wondering why there are so few comments to your blog. It seems strange to me, when there are obviously so many readers to your site. I've been lurking around for a long time (I was one of the first 20 people on the Forum) but I rarely say much. Anyway, you keep writing them and I'll keep reading them.
Take care.
N.
That's a good question!!! Why *are* there so few comments? All you have to do is create a free account at blogger, and then you can still post anonymously... :(
Maybe no one likes me?
I went through a similar situation (the having fun and waiting for things to get serious). I would normally have classified both of us as relaxed individuals, but it did end up leading to a lot of stress and jealousy.
I would never want to tell you what to do, Shannon, but seriously think about the fact that this could get you into a fucked up sitiuation. The possibility of him getting serious with the girl and wanting her to move in is the most problematic that I see. Think about what that would do to you and decide if it is worth the risk. Again, I don't know your whole mindset or what you are thinking, but hope you will think things out.
-Eru
Yowza!
The "exhibitionist in me"/instoresurprised pic is crawling right into my libido.
Where's that from/who's that girl?
Anyone?
S-
Hmm, I say you find out who he's hooking up with and
get together with her and collapse this love triangle.
J
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