Scary
Why have I been gone for so long? Why am I finally back?
Scientoligists will love this.
I've been gone the last few days because the State had me incarcerated in a mental hospital.
I saw awful things there. Terrible, awful things. My roommate was a middle-aged woman named Sherry and, while clearly fucked up mentally, did *not* deserve the rough treatment she received by the orderlies who would drag her down, inject her with God-knows-what, and escort her limp body to some room the rest of us there tried desperately never to see. Her offense? Not wanting to take the meds being given to her.
Sometimes she bit, too. Still, to see four or five well-grown men pinning her to the floor, injecting her with some unknown drug? I'd have bit, too.
...
I hadn't been in a state-run hospital in years. This was my first experience as an adult, actually. It all began with a stupid comment to someone I thought was my friend, about how I'd rather not be alive if God had ever given me the choice. I was high at the time I made that comment. Even so, I never meant to sound suicidal.
The police showed up, though, just the same. Sgt. James (remember, duh, I fake names for privacy's' sake) was really nice. He asked me to go to the station, and I agreed. BIG, HUGE mistake. I ended up sitting in a small, ugly little room for four hours before I saw a Detective. He promptly told me that I was a danger to myself.
I spent the night in jail. All of this on the account of a man I had shot down. So I thought.
In court the next day, guess who was there?
Just guess.
...
?
Yes, Beth. I'd thought the whole thing was about a recent guy. How on Earth would I have expected that BETH, from hundreds of miles away, would show up? I'd barely talked to her the night before.
So now I had to admit I'd had a gay relationship with her. Without a lawyer, btw. It was a mess. Beth told the court I was a danger to myself, too, and even though she cried during her BS statement I know, I just know!, that she's trying to hurt me.
Anyway. Yeah. I ended up in a fucking insanely bad nut-house for *THREE* days. I'm home, thank God, now, but all I want to do is cry and scream and yell and mourn.
...
I'm crying as I type. Part of me wants to hurt her, Beth. Part of me wants to prove how evil she has become. This is no longer business, or pursonal, this is her trying to just hurt me and discredit me. But I can hurt and discredit her, too. I can.
I can.
-shannon-
posted by Shannon at 3:46 AM
13 Comments:
Sorry to hear about that. I was locked up in a mental hospital for three YEARS because my mother did something similar to me.
Needless to say, we don't speak much.
You really think you can? You're still as naive as you were whenever your abuser first gained your trust and betrayed you.
I'd have thought you'd have learned by now. Unless you know the person very well and they do what they say they're going to do, you can't trust them.
But you fall into the same trap over and over again. Unless you start acting smarter, you'll be a victim the rest of your life.
Shannon, please, keep in mind that it isn't worth it. If you stoop to Beth's level, you may just begin to start a cycle of shots to one another that will only end up dragging you down with her. You are better than that, stronger than that. Just let her go with her petty victory this time, and hold your head up knowing that you are the better person, and better off without her in your life.
why are y'all getting stuck on what shannon might do or won't and giving her so much grief about it.
Dang it after what you, shannon, have been through im much more worried in how you're holding up.
I can't offer much but a few sincere words of compassion and encouragemnt. You may find it hard to trust others again but I trust you'll pull through. Call it wishfull thinking.
I agree with MelanBabyCholy.
Focus on yourself and healing. Right now your well-being is what is important, and what people should be concerned with.
You know where to find me if you need an ear to bend. I'm always willing to listen even if i don't have advise to give or answeres.
Focus on you, heal. come back when you're ready. We will all be here.
Shannon,
Getting even in a bad way is not worth it. The best way to do this and hurt her at the same time, is to LIVE life as if she didn't exist anymore. get your life back in order, get your affairs in order and prove her wrong that you're a danger to yourself. This may require you not to get high (or drunk), I do not know exactly what you have to do, but just go on with out her in your mind.
smile, enjoy your life and be glad you were not medicated (medicated paitients generally do not leave the hospital as fast as you did.) be yourself and live!
You are a friend (though distant) and you have friends here, we care for you, and miss you! I personally am glad you are back!
Freki
Shannon,
I'm sorry about what happened to you. But please, repeat after me the phrase you will say the next time you end up with the police:
I want my attorney!
Do not try to to argue with them. Just say that little phrase and you will get someone who should be on your side (as opposed to say.. the prosecutors).
I'm glad you are alright.
Well about the revenge with Beth? Brewster girl, anything beyond spreading naked photos on the net to friends and family? and telling the world what shes like? Not worth it.
Hell If shes didn't try to use police against you I wouldn't dare say use private pictures. But hell bitch put you in a mental hospital.
I am however thankful you are alright and back with us.
ps
Wow....
That sucks Shannon.
I was locked down for a while when I was in highschool for the exact same reason....things I said to a friend.
I was bitter, angry, hurt, upset...so many things. I wasnt released till I had made enough progress as THEY think I needed.
Anyway....I learned from the experience and I moved on...I'd advise you to do the same....
the best revenge is to be successful in life and Id suggest burning all contact with this person...
funny the girl who burned me was named Beth also....
as for the attorney...yes always ask for one ALWAYS...hell if you're in my state I'll defend you for free!
good luck and...I'd be willing to chat if you need it....
crow
Hard to believe that you would get jumped all over for such an innocent comment. (I took it as innocent. We all have our DOWN days, and say stuff we shouldn't.)
How often is it said "I could kill you for that"? Prisons would be FULL TO BURSTING, seeing what happened to you.
I think the BEST thing you could do? Just ignore your good friend Beth PERMANENTLY. It's a hard way to follow, since we are always so tempted to seek redress or revenge. But reaction is often what others want MOST from us, and I do LOVE to disappoint people :)
But only you KNOW, what is best for you. GOOD LUCK in whatever choice you do make.
That's fucked up!!!
I came back here looking for a place to greet you a Happy Birthday (isn't your bday April?) and saw this post of yours.
I hope you'll start feeling better here with all your supporters around you.
I think you've got real friends here (me included:) who commiserate with you and hope, pray, wish you'd feel better soon, rebound and become a stronger, better person after this ordeal.
I think there's a saying somewhere about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. During the worst of my own personal ordeals, that's what I think of and I always aim at being a stronger person after I've gotten up from a hard-fall.
All the best to you Shannon. And we, your fans and virtual friends, are always here for you. Some like me have been with you for 5 years already!!! Waaayyy before Beth, before Obama, and now Obama is the President and Beth is the enemy. (Sometimes, your best friend could turn out to be your best enemy. They know enough of your secrets and weaknesses to really hurt you.)
Well at least they say: "Tough Times Don't Last. Tough People Do." And Shannon, you are one hell of a tough girl as far as I've known...
Yours Truly,
g3m1n1
Hi Shannon,
I often read your posts and love your stories. Normally I don´t post a comment but now I have the desire to.
Don´t take revenge - please. You are better then her! You still have faith and hope. Show her, that you came out of all without a scratch. Ignore her. That will be a better revenge than trying to hurt her back, which would only drag you down to her level.
I can´t understand on which charges you were sent to the mental hospital. Stupid bureaucracy, stupid judge, stupid Beth!
I wish you time to heal, time to get your strength back and hope that you don´t have lost every little bit of faith in people. There are people that can be trusted.
Andreas
Hi Shannon, Hedonism here.
So sorry you had to go through all of that bullshit, but in re: Beth? Remember the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Ignore her. Not only will it be better for you, but it will piss her off worse than anything else you could possibly do. (Other than spreading nude photos of her, in which case please make sure I'm on the distribution list!!!)
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