Some Things
My cousin visited me this weekend. What a weird experience. She's only 12-years-old, and the only reason she stayed with me is because my cheap-ass uncle wouldn't pay for a seperate hotel room for her.
Let me explain. For some reason my dad's sister, my aunt, married this total loser named "Todd". After several years of trying to conceive, and only after recieving the help of some doctors, she got pregnant with "Stephanie", my cousin. I love my aunt. Her husband? Well, I'm not a big fan. He's a jerk. Plus, he's really cheap, even though he makes decent money-- they live in a pretty nice suburban area, and he has a lucrative job-- yet he's never given me more than $10 for my birthday. Nor has he given Steph the things a girl like her could really use, like-- nevermind. He's just cheap as hell. Pisses me off.
If any of you know me at all, you know this: I don't really like my family. My father, my cousins, my grandparents-- they can all go to Hell as far as I'm concerned. But my Aunt, "Liz"? I actually like her a bit. Only a bit, mind you. Still, she's the one person in my family I'm not ashamed to have as part of my genetic heritage. Why she would marry an asshole like Todd is totally beyound me.
So, yeah. Apparently airline tickets are cheap right now, at least to my neck of the woods. Sso Uncle Todd brought his family on vacation here. Nevermind that it was in the middle of a school year... whatever. He brought his family to my town under the pretense of wanting to see me. The truth was that he wanted me to take his daughter in so that he could, well... shudder. I don't even really want to think about what he and my aunt did.
He got a couple free nights alone with my aunt on this supposed vacation. God... but what could I say, anyway?
It was totally last minute, but I had to take her in. Paul was cool with it, as I knew he'd be. And like... god. Nevermind. Let's just say that it sucked.
Stephanie is a really cool girl. We did have a lot of fun together the two days she stayed with me. But like, I sort of resented her (and still do, unfair as that is) for being Todd's offspring. No, that's not right. I didn't resent her for that.
I resented her because she but the latest tool used against me by an uncaring family. After all she did totally distrupt my weekend. I had to take care of her all the time. It was fun, in the end, but it wasn't my choice you know?!?
Her parents picked her up on Sunday evening. I don't know where they're going now.
Why the fuck do I feel guilty right now? Why the hell do I feel sad? God!
-shannon-
Let me explain. For some reason my dad's sister, my aunt, married this total loser named "Todd". After several years of trying to conceive, and only after recieving the help of some doctors, she got pregnant with "Stephanie", my cousin. I love my aunt. Her husband? Well, I'm not a big fan. He's a jerk. Plus, he's really cheap, even though he makes decent money-- they live in a pretty nice suburban area, and he has a lucrative job-- yet he's never given me more than $10 for my birthday. Nor has he given Steph the things a girl like her could really use, like-- nevermind. He's just cheap as hell. Pisses me off.
If any of you know me at all, you know this: I don't really like my family. My father, my cousins, my grandparents-- they can all go to Hell as far as I'm concerned. But my Aunt, "Liz"? I actually like her a bit. Only a bit, mind you. Still, she's the one person in my family I'm not ashamed to have as part of my genetic heritage. Why she would marry an asshole like Todd is totally beyound me.
So, yeah. Apparently airline tickets are cheap right now, at least to my neck of the woods. Sso Uncle Todd brought his family on vacation here. Nevermind that it was in the middle of a school year... whatever. He brought his family to my town under the pretense of wanting to see me. The truth was that he wanted me to take his daughter in so that he could, well... shudder. I don't even really want to think about what he and my aunt did.
He got a couple free nights alone with my aunt on this supposed vacation. God... but what could I say, anyway?
It was totally last minute, but I had to take her in. Paul was cool with it, as I knew he'd be. And like... god. Nevermind. Let's just say that it sucked.
Stephanie is a really cool girl. We did have a lot of fun together the two days she stayed with me. But like, I sort of resented her (and still do, unfair as that is) for being Todd's offspring. No, that's not right. I didn't resent her for that.
I resented her because she but the latest tool used against me by an uncaring family. After all she did totally distrupt my weekend. I had to take care of her all the time. It was fun, in the end, but it wasn't my choice you know?!?
Her parents picked her up on Sunday evening. I don't know where they're going now.
Why the fuck do I feel guilty right now? Why the hell do I feel sad? God!
-shannon-
Labels: stuff about me
posted by Shannon at 1:52 AM
5 Comments:
You feel guilty because she is family and you resented your uncle's behavior. You feel sad because he is a piece of shit and used you. Both have nothing to do with a rational response. You should feel proud of yourself because when push came to shove you did what needed to be done instead of taking the easy way out. You should feel happy because you got to spend some time with your cousin who you say is pretty cool. [shrug] all in how you look at it I guess.
Kodiak
Don't sweat it. Families have a way of breaking through emotional and social defenses that is utterly disarming, and when you have problems with your family it just makes the whole thing weird and trying. Tiring. The last thing you should do is feel guilty about how your family makes you feel. It's weird, but you just need to accept that they're going to get to you, and then make the best of the situation. Some people have these amazing families, but the rest of humanity needs to make due with awkwardness, resentment, shame and a whole other gamut of emotions. (Did I just say "gamut"?)
Anyway, you stepped up to the plate, helped out a little girl who was just as unwillingly thrust into the situation as you were and generally did your best as a decent, caring human being. Lots of people would have done less and cared less about it. It's funny, reading your blog, your short stories, your newsletters and your story preferences, one thing that I really notice is that you consistently underestimate yourself. You did good. So, any thoughts on moving to Spain? ;)
Perhaps if you had a choice in the first place,you would feel better.
Ben
That is kind of a fucked up situation... sounds like you need to disappear from your family... I did that a few years ago after I flunked out of college and everyone was giving me a hard time about it. I just changed apartments at one point and never told anyone, my address and phone number were different and I didn't talk to any of them for a good 6 months (which for me is a really long time)... I have a huge family and we're all pretty close most of the time. Usually we're assholes to each other, but it's mostly in good fun.
Except for this one bitch aunt I have... she's the one with all the money that thinks she's better than everyone else. But, one summer a few years ago, she took a lot of the family on a trip to the Beach (my 2 brothers, my dad, some cousins and their parents, my grandparents... there were about 20 of them), but she made it a point to tell my dad when she invited him that I wasn't invited. So I had to stay at a friend's house for the weekend... which was fine with me, because I didn't want to go anyways, but it really pissed me off that the bitch invited everyone but me... my older brother actually told her off and came home early when he found out why I wasn't there. Me and my brothers have always been really close like that...
Anyways...this isn't really relevant to our situation, except that like someone else said family has this connection, and they can get to you like nothing else. I don't know what it is with people and family, even people that don't like their families... must be some deep-rooted subconscious need for their approval or something... Anyways, they sound like real assholes and you should try not to let them get to you so much... just look at it as getting to spend a weekend with your cousin.
-Dogmeat
hi baby you are too cool i really want too meet you someday i know we would click well lets see where to start your date that left with another that was (b)not fucking will do it for sure its his loss bye the way now ill be your therapist and im free
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