| Home ~ Reviews ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 |
Title |
The Train Journey |
Author |
Madeleine |
Story Code(s) |
F/M, Exhib |
Length |
2,800 words |
Rating |
3.0 |
Summary |
Across the pond, a woman is riding a train. She sleeps with one man. She jerks off a conductor (and I ain't talking about Leonard Bernstein). She gets caught fingering herself and fucks a third guy. |
Commentary |
This story started off okay. I was into the main character's lust for
life (it was just life, wasn't it?). My problem was the never ending
sex. I did not think she was going to set any new records in
promiscuity, but it did get rather mechanical. "The Train Journey" is the first story this writer has published on ASSM. My advice is to make your stories about more than just sex. Sucking and fucking should be a part of them, if you are going to post them to ASSM, but IMO it should not be a substitute for a plot. I have another piece of advice; format your story better. Put a blank line in between paragraphs. |
ASSM |
The Train Journey |