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Title

Melody

Author

Crimson Dragon

Story Code(s)

F/F, No Sex

Length

5,600 words

Rating

Excellent

Summary

Terri is attending the company party. She unsuccessfully attempts to strike up a conversation with Melody. After getting home that night, she gets a call from Melody, who is in tears. Terri comforts her and in the process learns quite a bit about her.

Commentary

This is a touching story. It is very well paced. The descriptions are good. The author did an excellent job of conveying the mood.

I could not help but like the characters. What they did and how they spoke revealed as much about them as what they said. This is not an upbeat story, but it is well written.

There were places in the dialogue where periods were used too freely, specifically to indicate hesitation. That seemed an inappropriate usage to me. There were a couple of places where an adverb should have been used instead of an adjective or the wrong tense was used.

ASSM

Melody