"Have I got a gun?" he asked.
"Uh, yes, find a stick or something" suggested Victoria.
"It's okay, I've got one" said Dave pulling a frighteningly real looking toy gun from inside his trousers.
"I hope that's not real" said Emily.
"Nah, it's just a replica" said Dave "It should be Walther PPK or something, that's what James Bond would use, but it'll do."
"Well don't go shooting any clerics by accident" said Victoria.
"Unless it's the Reverend" said Emily with a giggle.
"You sit down by this tree and close your eyes. Count to a hundred, slowly, and then you can start" said Victoria "We'll head off, but we won't start patrolling for ten minutes. That way you've got a chance to disappear and we won't know where you are. And remember - the fate of the whole Western world relies on you" said Victoria.
"Will there be SPECTRE agents in the secret headquarters?" asked Dave.
"M didn't say, he just said it was a very dangerous mission and he didn't expect you to survive. Are you up for it 007?" said Victoria.
"You bet!" said Dave, and he began humming the theme tune again with enthusiasm as he sat and closed his eyes.
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
Dave skirted round the hollow, keeping low. His gun was drawn and he was ready to shoot in any direction at any time. He hopped behind a bush and peeked out from behind it. There was no doubt in his mind. The low wooden building in the hollow must be the secret SPECTRE headquarters.
'Just like SPECTRE' he thought. It looked so innocent, like an old abandoned hut in the middle of the forest. No one would suspect that this was the secret headquarters of the most evil, most powerful criminal organisation in the world. And somewhere in there, most likely in some deep and enormous underground complex, were the Weapons of Mass Destruction.
He hadn't seen any SPECTRE agents yet, and he assumed he'd penetrated their cordon. The fools were still out there somewhere, searching the forest for him fruitlessly, while he closed in on their secret headquarters. Heads would roll; he knew what happened to SPECTRE agents who failed in their mission.
With one last look round, gun at the ready, he leapt up and dashed down towards the building.
"Where is he now?" asked Victoria curled up in her favourite chair.
"He's peeking out from behind a bush" said Paul.
"Why are we doing this?" asked Emily, for the third time.
"Because" said Victoria.
"You keep saying that, but it doesn't answer the question" said Emily exasperated.
Ben and Alison were commiserating with each other over their recent spanking with little kisses and little sympathetic 'oohing' noises.
Amy sat watching the laptop with Paul, resting her head affectionately against his chest.
"He's really getting serious about this, isn't he?" said Amy.
"Yep" said Paul "I think he is."
"Victoria!" said Emily in frustration.
"Alright!" said Victoria "For one: I thought you needed cheering up after your beating and I thought this would be a bit of fun for you. He's been bothering you for such a long time and I thought you'd be delighted having him dangling naked in front of you. At least you'd get to meet that lump face to face, and chances are, after we've let him go, he'll never bother you again. He's embarrassed enough talking to you as it is."
"Yeh, but I don't dislike him that much" said Emily.
"Make your mind up" said Victoria.
"No, I mean, I don't fancy him or anything, and I wouldn't want to make friends and have G&D parties..." began Emily.
"D&D" said Paul.
"God, you're so square sometimes" said Emily "But that doesn't mean I want to upset him. He's alright, in a cute puppy dog kind of way. I feel like we're about to kick him."
"For Two:" said Victoria "Maybe we could do with two new boys in the gang."
"Oh come on, we voted on Dave and we voted no" said Emily "That's not fair"
"Spur of the moment thing" said Victoria.
"Spur of the bloody idiot thing more like" said Emily.
"Well what do you want? Make your mind up" said Victoria.
"Oh I don't know" said Emily.
"I think there might be some unresolved issues here" said Paul.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Emily.
"Well, didn't someone send him a Valentine's card when they were nine? With love hearts on?" said Paul.
"How did you... I mean... No one knows who sent that card" said Emily blushing.
"It was home made, Em." said Paul.
"Was it? How would I know?" she said.
"You probably shouldn't have used two old birthday cards stuck together. When we peeled them apart one said 'Happy Birthday Emily, love and kisses Alison'" said Paul.
"Anyone could have got that card. It could have been Alison" said Emily growing more desperate.
"Alison doesn't write 'love' with a little heart shape for the 'o'" said Paul.
"Neither do I!" said Emily.
"No, but you did when you were nine" said Paul.
"I'd say it was case closed, Em." said Victoria "You'd be better off just giving in and admitting it."
"No!" said Emily.
"I've got a great idea" said Victoria "Let's change the game"
"How?" asked Paul
"Let's let Dave catch a SPECTRE agent, like... oh I don't know... Emily, and he has to interrogate her to find out where the Weapons of Mass Destruction are" said Victoria.
"No way!" said Emily.
"How far do you think he'd go?" asked Paul.
"Don't know, might strip her, I suppose?" said Victoria.
"Do you think he might use his secret probe?" said Paul, and burst out laughing.
Victoria joined him, with the others close behind. Emily sat unamused, fuming.
"Oh come on, Emily, don't be such a bore" said Victoria.
"Alright, I sent the damned card, that was four years ago. I was a little girl, a fool, I thought I was in love, but that was four years ago. I'm grown up now, and Dave is... still a little boy, who's very immature." said Emily.
"Well that, I suspect, we'll find out" said Victoria "No, but seriously though, where's the harm? He is kind of funny, and be fair, he's full of enthusiasm. If he was in the gang he'd be under discipline, he'd be a junior for a year, and he's not going to be allowed to bother you or bore us to death with stories of computer games or... wizards or whatever he was going on about" said Victoria
"Role-Playing" said Paul.
"Not unless he seriously likes getting his arse smacked" finished Victoria.
"And he might grow up, and you might grow to like him" said Paul.
"And you get to play with his secret probe" said Victoria laughing again.
"Which might or might not be fun depending on the model Q equipped him with" said Paul laughing again.
"You're just making fun of me" said Emily.
"No darling" said Victoria "Look, he's another boy, he's not that bad, and maybe we can make him a lot better, but it's your call. If you want to veto he's out."
Emily sighed "I suppose it will take the pressure off a bit" she shrugged "Alright then, I suppose" she said.
"Tell you what" said Victoria, trying to control herself "Next year, we'll give you a hand with the card" she burst out laughing.
"You'd better not tell him!" said Emily.
"He knows" said Paul.
"What!?" shouted Emily.
"We took the card apart remember, I said" said Paul.
"What!?" repeated Emily.
It looked like Paul was about to repeat his explanation again only this time in slow motion.
"No, I mean... What!? He's known all this time!?" shrieked Emily.
"Why do you think he keeps following you around like a love sick puppy?" asked Victoria.
"You knew as well?" asked Emily in exasperation.
"Um, I guess so" said Victoria with a sheepish smile.
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked.
"Waiting for the right moment, I guess" said Paul.
"What!?" shrieked Emily.
"And I guess we just found It" said Victoria.
"Hold on, he's on his way in" said Paul getting up.
"No, wait, don't let him in" said Emily beginning to panic "I've got to hide."
"He doesn't know you know he knows" said Victoria.
"If my brain wasn't dribbling out of my ears right now, I might have understood that" said Emily on her feet now and looking for a cupboard to hide in.
Paul stood carefully behind the door.
Ben and Alison sat still kissing and making oohing noises, only half paying attention. Amy smiled excitedly.
Dave hit the side wall quickly, flattened himself, and peered at the door. He studied the complex magnetic electronic encrypted nuclear lock from a distance. Fortunately he had a magnoelectro encryptynuke disruptor that Q had given him for just such a situation. He sidled up to the lock slowly, his heart beginning to beat faster. He took another quick look around, checking the crest of the hollow for any SPECTRE agents that might be sneaking up. All clear. Wow! This was the best game ever!
He used the disruptor and the lock shattered. He twisted the handle and pushed the door open, but he didn't step in front of it. Let them shoot air. He quickly ducked his head in and out. All clear. They must all be in the secret underground complex with the electric cars and the women in tight latex cat suits, he thought. He tried to imagine Emily in a latex cat suit. Cor! He dashed in, and swivelled round, his gun spinning through three hundred and sixty degrees. Still nothing.
He tried to calm himself. He could hear talking through the door on his right. His heart beat faster still. His breathing became heavier and he tip-toed to the door, his gun held high but ready to drop at a moment's notice.
"And then, when Washington's ready, we'll ship the unit in using our secret submarine fleet" he heard through the door.
'They're talking about the weapons of Mass Destruction' he thought. He lowered a hand to the door handle, and ever so, ever so gently, he turned it.
"The entire government will be destroyed in an instant" said an evil voice, louder now the door was partly open.
This was his moment. If he acted now he could take the entire evil organisation down in one go. He leapt into the room, his gun pointed out in front of him.
"The name's Bond, James Bond" he said. Wow! This really was fantastic!
"Good morning, Mr Bond" said Victoria "We've been expecting you."
Paul stepped out from behind the door.
"You evil plans are over now..." began Dave, and Paul grabbed his wrist and pulled the gun from his hand.
"Bugger!" said Dave.
Paul pointed the gun at him.
"It seems like the tables are turned, Mr Bond" said Victoria "Take him to the interrogation room!"
"Aren't you going to tell me all about your secret plan first?" asked Dave, a little disappointed.
"No" said Victoria "That would be really stupid, and I'm the very clever kind of super villain. As you're about to find out."
Paul marched Dave to the punishment room at gunpoint. The others followed, including a very subdued and embarrassed looking Emily.
"Secure him!" said Victoria. Paul handed the gun to Emily and he and Ben handcuffed Dave and suspended him from the ceiling. Victoria took her seat and folded her legs under her. She smiled at Dave.
"You should be stroking a cat" said Dave.
"Yes, I should. I like stroking pussies. Do you like stroking pussies, Mr Bond?" asked Victoria.
"Um, yeh, I guess" said Dave.
"Do you like to stroke them when they're wet, Mr Bond?" asked Victoria.
"Victoria!" said Emily "Stop it!"
"I'd probably use a towel first" said Dave "Why haven't you got a proper super villain name. You can't just call yourself Victoria, that's your normal name."
"But Victoria is a super villain, Mr Bond" said Victoria.
"Wow, this is really realistic!" said Dave as Paul and Ben moved away from him. Dave stood, his arms stretched above his head suspended by a rope. "This really is the best game ever!" said Dave excitedly.
"Oh no, Mr Bond, this is not a game" said Victoria menacingly.
"And you're really in character" said Dave, growing a little uneasy.
"Search him!" said Victoria.
Paul and Ben moved in again. "Not you two, Emily and Alison" said Victoria.
"Victoria!" said Emily.
"Don't disobey me or you'll be thrown to the scout piranha" said Victoria.
"Cool" said Dave "What are scout piranha?"
"They're like regular piranha, except they don't have teeth" said Victoria "They suck you to death."
Emily handed Paul the gun again, and set to work removing Dave's left shoe and sock. Alison dealt with the right side similarly.
"Um, I assume I've got a laser or something in my watch" said Dave.
"I don't know, do you think you might have spy gadgets hidden about your body?" asked Victoria innocently.
"Oh, yeh, loads" said Dave.
"Alright then, well, that's why we're searching you" said Victoria.
"Great!" said Dave "But they never find all of them, there's always something they miss, something James Bond uses to escape with."
"Oh we're very thorough" said Victoria unreassuringly.
"Oh man this is brilliant!" said Dave "Do you play this game a lot? You're really good at it!"
"As I said, Mr Bond, it's not a game, but yes, we do this a lot, and we are very good at it. As you shall discover" said Victoria.
"I'll never talk" said Dave.
Emily pulled his t-shirt up over his head.
"Ow! That's my nose!" said Dave "Can I play again? I mean another time?"
"We'll have to see how well you do" said Victoria.
"I'm doing alright aren't I? I'm a good James Bond aren't I?" asked Dave, then he looked round at the others while Emily tied his t-shirt off near his wrists.
"Who normally plays Bond?" asked Dave.
"Ben was the last one" said Victoria "We take turns."
"Whose turn is it next?" asked Dave.
"That depends" said Victoria "We can each only play Bond once."
"Why?" asked Dave.
"You're trying to trick me, Mr Bond. You're trying to get me to reveal our secret plans to you" said Victoria smiling evilly at him.
"Am I?" he asked. He looked down and realised, because he was stretched, the waistband of his boxers shorts was showing over his trousers "Um, could you hoik my trousers up a bit? My pants are showing" he blushed slightly.
"No, Mr Bond. I can, but I won't" said Victoria.
"Oh go on, it won't affect the game" said Dave.
"Since when has 007 worried about his pants showing?" asked Victoria.
"Um, no, that's not James Bond, that's me" said Dave "Out of character comment, like."
"But you are, Mr Bond, Mr Bond" said Victoria "Continue searching him!"
Emily left the dirty work to Alison, and she didn't hesitate. She started to unbutton Dave's jeans.
"Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" said Dave getting very worried.
"Searching you, Mr Bond" said Victoria.
"Yeh, no, but you can't undo my trousers" said Dave.
"But we have to search you, Mr Bond" said Victoria.
"Yeh, but not like really. I mean, what do the rules say about it" said Dave.
Alison undid his zip.
"No, hold on Alison! Rule check, rule check, you have to stop!" he said with urgency in his voice.
"Alison obeys my orders, Mr Bond, not yours, and the rules say whatever I want them to say. I say the trousers come off" said Victoria.
"Off!? No way, hold on, not off, not off!" said Dave beginning to panic.
Alison pulled Dave's trousers down and tugged them over his feet.
"Hold on, this isn't allowed, this isn't in the game!" said Dave "You can't do this, it's not... I mean, it's just not right."
"I've told you before, Mr Bond, this isn't a game. And by your own admission you have secret gadgets hidden all over your body. You said so yourself" said Victoria "So we must search you, all over your body, to find them"
"Okay, alright then, I don't want to play anymore" said Dave
Alison stood up again and looked Dave in the eye and smiled. She took hold of the waistband of his boxer shorts.
"No! Don't you dare!" shouted Dave "I'm not playing. I give up. I don't want to play with you anymore! I'm gonna tell my mum!" he shouted, close to tears.
Victoria nodded to Alison and she began tugging.
"Victoria!" said Emily.
Alison paused and looked at Victoria.
"Emily, don't you go soft on me now. It was fine when it was Ben, and Amy, and Alison, and us, it's just as fine now. Everyone else's happy aren't they?" said Victoria.
Everyone else nodded except Ben. "Not happy, Ben?" asked Victoria disappointed.
"No, my bum hurts" he said.
"Apart from your bum hurting are you happy?" she asked.
"Oh, yeh, apart from that" he said more cheerily.
"If you feel so bad, you can make it up to him later" said Victoria, turning back to Emily with a smile.
Paul grinned too, but Emily just gave Victoria a withering look.
"Victoria..." said Dave beginning to whine "This was a really great game, but I don't want to play like this. It's a bit too real, and I'm getting scared. I want to go home..." he said, beginning to sob slightly.
"It's not a game, Dave, and I really am a super villain. Off with his pants!" said Victoria.
Alison drew Dave's pants down and off in one swift motion.
"Noooooo! No, no, no, no, no, let me go.... Let me go! Help. Mummy!" he shouted.
Everyone watched him struggle and fight against his bonds. Everyone watched his private parts jiggle about in the process. They waited for him to tire himself out.
Victoria rested her eyes on his groin. He had a reasonable growth of pubic hair, more than Paul, and his penis was longer and thicker too. For a thirteen year old he was quite well developed. It was nothing too out of the ordinary, but definitely on the more advanced side.
Dave eventually stopped struggling. The combination of tiredness, pain in his wrists, and the realisation that he couldn't escape subdued him, and he hung with his head down, face red, and with tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What is the secret code for the American satellite tracking system, Mr Bond" asked Victoria.
Apart from his sobbing Dave was quiet.
"Make him talk!" said Victoria.
Alison stepped in front of Dave, looked down at his willy and reached out a hand to start tickling him. Emily pushed her aside gently. "I'll do it" she said.
Looking a little disappointed, Alison stepped back. "Go and play with, Ben!" said Emily. Alison looked at Victoria, received a smile and a nod, and dashed over to Ben's seat. Painfully, she climbed in beside him, and the kissing and 'oohing' resumed.
Emily stepped in front of Dave, close enough to feel his body heat.
"Why are you doing this, I thought you liked me?" sobbed Dave "I want to go home." He began crying properly.
Emily reached up a hand to his face and stoked his cheek "Hush" she said. She stroked a hand down his side and onto his bottom and he shivered and 'oohed'. Her hand came round to his front and took his penis gently.
"Oh no! Don't, please!" he sobbed.
"Listen, just be cool, it's going to be alright" said Emily softly.
"No! Why are you doing this to me? I haven't done anything to you, please leave me alone!" he said.
"We want you to join our gang" said Emily, and she began to massage his still limp penis "And every one of us has gone through this. We see each other naked all the time."
"No way!" he said sullenly "Please don't, I'm getting..." he didn't finish, but Emily knew what he was getting - he was getting hard.
"I see Ben's and Paul's hard-ons all the time" she said.
"What!?" said Dave his face widening in a mixture of disbelief and panic.
"It's just an initiation, we're not going to hurt you. Alright, you're going to get hard, and we're probably going to tickle you and stuff but no more than that" said Emily.
"Oh no, please..." he begged.
Emily began stroking his half erect penis in earnest and he other hand stroked his bare bottom. She leaned forward a little and kissed him gently on the lips.
"Oh God!" he moaned in response.
"Isn't this nice?" she asked, as his now rigid penis slid back and forth gently in her right hand. Her left came round to tease his scrotum, and she kissed him again more passionately, her tongue sliding into his mouth. He moaned again loudly and with desperate longing.
"If you're really good, and pass the initiation" said Emily quietly "After we've untied you we can go and lie down on the floor and I'll take off all my clothes."
"Mmmmnnnngh" said Dave his head back, his eyes closed, and his mouth open.
"And you can kiss me, stroke my breasts, my bottom, my pussy, anything you like, and I can do this for you" she said "If you like."
Dave was moaning loudly now, and the quality of the moaning left no-one in doubt that this was ecstatic not fearful.
Emily kissed him again, but slowed her gentle pumping. "Okay?" she asked. Dave nodded enthusiastically. Emily stepped away from him exposing his impressively rigid erection to the others.
"Ooh" said Victoria "Q did do well"
"Make's me feel inadequate" said Paul.
"Don't feel like that darling" said Victoria "It's what you do with it that counts"
"Sweep chimneys by the look of it" said Paul.
"Does anyone want to torment the poor boy?" asked Victoria.
"I don't mind" said Alison.
"I should have guessed you would" said Victoria; she turned her attention back to Dave again.
"All right, Dave, enough of the Bond stuff. The question is, do you want to join our gang?" she asked.
Alison climbed out of her chair again, giving Ben one last kiss, and she stood beside Dave, peering down at his tumescent phallus.
"Okay" he said with a degree of reluctance and hesitancy.
"There are rules Dave, and you will have to follow them. For a year and a day you will be a junior, just like Alison, Ben and Amy. Paul, Emily and myself are seniors. You will have to obey your seniors" she said.
"But.... What if..." he began
"Now you'll find we're quite democratic, and we don't go ordering each other around all the time. It's not a power trip, it's just good sense" she said.
"I..." began Dave again.
"Most importantly you never tell anyone about the gang, or what we do, or anything else related to the gang" said Victoria.
Dave gave up trying to speak and instead nodded weakly, his erection was beginning to droop now, and Alison studied the way it slowly shrank and flopped.
"If you break any of the rules, misbehave, disobey, or give us any other cause for complaint you will be punished. Telling gang secrets will get you punished very, very severely Dave, that's the most important rule, and believe me if you break that rule you'll wish you'd never been born" said Victoria.
"I won't tell" said Dave.
"Well we're going to test your resolve" said Victoria "We're going to tickle you for a while and you have to be brave. If you give in, you'll fail the initiation. If you take it, you'll pass. You might be tickled anywhere on your body, Dave, and you can stop it just by giving in. Understand?"
"Yes" he said weakly.
"Commence the tickling, evil henchmen" said Victoria rising from her seat.
Alison had a head start and she ensured Dave's erection returned by tickling his groin, his scrotum, and his penis. Emily caressed his face and shoulders gently. Victoria ran her fingers up and down his side and back. Amy stroked Dave's bottom. Ben sat on the floor and played with legs and feet. Paul, mischievous as ever, tickled his tummy with one hand, and with his other up Victoria's skirt, tickled her bottom.
David shrieked and squealed and bucked, begging for mercy, struggling to breathe, but he didn't give in.
"Fancy a quick one after" Paul whispered to Victoria.
"No, I fancy a slow one, but I can't" she said.
"Oh, come on" said Paul.
"I'm on my period" she said.
"Bugger" said Paul.
"Emily might like the attention" said Victoria.
"She's going to be busy with the Lump isn't she?" he said.
"Maybe" said Victoria "I can take care of your little problem for you Paul, it's not that. It's just we can't make love properly."
"It's a tragedy" said Paul.
"I know. Epic proportions" she said, and then "Katherine's coming this afternoon, what about her?"
"She's okay, isn't she a virgin?" said Paul.
"Exactly" said Victoria.
"You're a very naughty girl" said Paul.
"Well, it's just as well you're a very naughty boy then, isn't it?" she replied.
Paul grinned.
Dave survived his tickling, and although he begged and screamed and cried, he managed to avoid uttering the fateful words declaring he was giving up. Victoria took him through his oath, although they dispensed with the drinking of piss. Ben seemed to take this amiss, but Victoria explained that they had already decided to revise the initiation ceremony anyway, and the piss drinking wasn't very pleasant for anyone.
Dave was still tied when Victoria called the vote.
"He'll be fine" said Paul.
"Okay" said Alison "I like his willy"
"I think he's going to be fun" said Amy.
"I suppose" said Ben, upset that Alison seemed so taken by another boy's willy.
"Em?" asked Victoria.
Emily frowned at Victoria "Yes" she said slightly exasperatedly.
"And I concur" said Victoria "Congratulations Dave, and welcome to the gang."
Paul began untying him, while Victoria retreated to her laptop.
"Where are the Weapons of Mass Destruction then?" asked Dave, shattered after his terrible ordeal.
"There aren't any, Dave. There never were. It was all a big lie designed to convince the gullible Western public into supporting secret nefarious militaristic agendas" said Victoria.
"Oh" said Dave "Does that mean I saved the world after all then?" asked Dave.
"Sorry, Dave, you didn't. It means you were on the wrong side all along. The enemy isn't outside the gates, it's inside. The enemy are those very governments that sent you to catch us" said Victoria.
"That's not the way it is in the films" complained Dave.
"And I wonder why?" answered Victoria "Anyway, you come over here, I've got a film of my own to show you."
"Can I get dressed now?" he asked his hands covering his now limp penis.
"Not yet, sweety. Oh and Ben, time for you to get undressed too. Dave's not a visitor anymore, he's part of the gang" said Victoria.
"Oh ,Victoria, do I have to?" whined Ben.
"Give him a hand Alison" said Victoria.
Alison smiled at Ben and went straight for his trousers.
"Now here's you, look!" said Victoria sliding the laptop around so Dave could see the screen "And here's Alison undressing you."
"You can't film that!" said David "That's, that's like pornography"
"No sweety, it's security. You see, apart from any other hideous punishments you'll get for telling any gang secrets, to anyone mind you, absolutely anyone, this film will go on public display. And all the little girls and boys at school can watch it on YouTube, or MySpace, and maybe we'll have special showings for people here too."
"I'm not going to tell anyone" he said, paling significantly.
"Don't, Dave, don't even think about it because you really will be sorry, I promise you." said Victoria stroking his hair "Now, weren't you going to be spending some time with Emily?"
Dave nodded and swallowed, his penis began to stiffen a little at the memory of what she'd promised.
"You do like her, don't you?" asked Victoria.
Dave nodded and blushed.
"Well, I think she might like you too, secretly" said Victoria "So don't be shy, you get her clothes off and you get to work on that gorgeous body of hers."
Dave gulped. "Really?" he asked, not able to really believe it.
"Go on" said Victoria giving him an encouraging shove in Emily's direction.
Continued in Chapter Fifty Three