SUMMARY: Jim is a writer. His 14-year-old niece, Jan, isn't satisfied with the sexual education she has received from her parents. She turns to him for enlightenment. Once he starts explaining, one thing leads to another.

COMMENTARY: The thing that impresses me the most about this story is the author's restraint. He doesn't push the story too fast. He takes the time to set the scene and allows it to develop. I was also impressed with the manner in which the author handled Jan. She was both hesitant and eager at the same time. That seemed realistic to me. Jim, on the other hand, did not seem to be quite as torn between options. He knew what he wanted and went after it. I think I would have enjoyed this story more if he had been more like Jan, in that respect. I was less impressed with the ending, than I was with the beginning. The plot seemed to go out the window and the story devolved into a series of physical interactions with little or no plot development.

In my estimation this story describes a male fantasy, not a female one. Jan isn't just a type or a body, but the story seems to be primarily about how Jim lived out one of his fantasies. Jan seems to enjoy herself, but for the most part the story seems to be about him, not her.

OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 6.5 (out of 10)

• Arousal: 3/5
• Editing: 3/5
• Plot and Characters: 4/5

SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Good

LINK(S):

• Stories written by Cagey