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Title |
The Baby-sitter's Bonus |
Author |
Velvet Rose |
Story Code(s) |
f/M, Teen |
Length |
3,300 words |
Arousal |
5 out of 5 |
Story |
3 out of 5 |
Objective Analysis |
8 out of 10 |
Subjective Analysis |
Excellent |
Summary |
Anna spends the summer after her junior year in high school baby- sitting Mark and Mary's children. She has the hots for Mark. He is 35, used to be her history teacher and, of course, is married. |
Commentary |
This is an extremely arousing story. It
does not begin with Anna and Mark in the
sack. It takes its time and works up to
that. The little, real life details that the
author includes help to flesh out the
story. Without them it would have been
too one-dimensional and definitely not as
arousing. This is a well written story, but it needs to be proofed. There are a number of spelling and grammatical errors. They are not so numerous that they caused me to enjoy the story less, but they are numerous enough such that it seems appropriate to give the story a lower mark than I otherwise might have given it. The characters are realistic enough. This is a stroke story. The plot flows smoothly enough. It is a simple story, but it works. I really enjoyed reading this story. If not for the fact that it needs to be edited for spelling and grammatical errors, I would have given it a higher objective score. As is, I liked it enough to put it on my A-list. |
ASSM Link(s) |
Part 1 (of 2) Part 2 (of 2) |