PZA Boy Stories


Hawk Boy
Memoirs of a Child Porn Star
by Trevor Hawk, with Hubert Z. Fletchly

My first week – Part 2

Part 2 picks up as Randy, my new agent, and a pair of lawyers come to my flat to get Mum's signature on my contract. (There is just a tiny bit of overlap with the end of Part One.) My new friends Boris and Sebastian, a pair of Russian actors, have come along with Randy to visit while Mum signs the deal.

I hope you enjoy it!

Introduction for Part 2

Hi. My name is Trevor Hawkinson, or just Hawk. I am twelve years old, and I am one of the most successful and prolific actors in the child pornography business. I suppose it's easy to make that claim when no one can really say what that means, but Bill, my press agent, says my cock has been seen by more people in more countries than any other cock in porn history. He says I passed Ron Jeremy nearly a year ago, after I had only been in the business for three years.

Soon I will be too old to star in my own child porn films. When a boy hits puberty, his voice drops, and he starts to get a little hairy, he can still be in child porn, but he is usually the older friend who takes the cute, younger boy under his wing. They are nice films, some of them can be very touching, and I'll be working with some really sweet littles that way (a 'little' is a child porn actor under age ten, or one who looks that young), but I will no longer be the star. People buy those films to see the cute young boy get fucked by a big teenage cock, not because they give two shits about the teenager attached to the big teenage cock. I'm not complaining at all. For years now I have been the cute young boy that everyone loves, and I'll still have those roles for maybe another year.

This business has been very good to me, and no boy has gotten more from it than I have. But once my voice drops, the only real way for me to keep getting starring roles would be to work more with women or doing kinks and fetishes. (Those videos don't sell nearly as well as child porn.) I don't like the idea of switching to women or kinks and fetishes, and I certainly don't need the money, but I love this business, and I'll be able to continue working with all the wonderful people I've come to know and love at Frenetic America Studios, Children's Division. Any film featuring an actor under age eighteen is produced in the Children's Division at Frenetic America (unlike our UK parent studio, in which the number is sixteen), so every film I make will be produced by the Children's Division for several years to come. I will also be able to work in the Children's Division well into my adulthood as the grown-up who likes to fuck cute young boys, but those parts are hard to come by, and they pay very little. That's ok though. I think I'll always be happy to work with cute boys, even for free. Everyone wants to fuck the cute young boys, but since I've been so successful and done so much for Frenetic, I will probably be able to get those roles regularly. Some of my fans now will still want to follow me, maybe to see if I bring up any new young protégées, or if I have kids of my own who will want to make child porn as well.

So, should I continue with starring roles with women or kinks and fetishes, or should I continue to work with the cute boys in supporting roles? I have a year or so to decide, so I'll just enjoy this time as the adorable boy star!

Since the peak of my career in child pornography is passing, I've been writing down these memoirs of how I got to be where I am today. It's been an amazing ride, and if you are considering whether to give permission for your kid to enter this line of work, you should read these memoirs. It's not what you might think. The business is full of really good people, and the kids always come first. They take very good care of us, and we produce top quality products. The money is fantastic, and in one year, even in one month if you're as lucky as I was, a kid can pay for an entire four year college education with income from child porn. But I'm not writing this to promote the industry. I'm just writing my own story. This is part 2 of my memoirs. In part 1, I covered the events that led to my introduction to child porn production. I described my discovery, both being discovered as a new talent and my own discovery of this wonderful world that was so full of love and self-determination. I began working in the studio one morning as a fluff boy, and by the afternoon I was performing my first scene in front of the camera (or, cameras, all eight of them). The studio owners and the executive producer liked what they saw, and they offered me a very favorable contract. All of that occurred within a single 24-hour period.

I've been through a lot of phases and explored a lot of sexual variety in my time, and in part 2, I explore gender as much as anything. When I first got started in the business of making child porn, I wanted to try everything. Things were happening very fast, but sometimes I was impatient and wanted them to happen even faster. (For example, I didn't want to wait for the mandatory physical exams to do certain scenes.) I saw so many things, so many different types of people, including an unusual number of trannies and femboys. (I later learned there weren't an unusual number of them, but I had never been around them, and I was drawn to them.) I wondered what it would be like to be a little girly. Well, I became a lot girly for a while, but mostly when I was with Sebastian. He brought out the femboy in me because he showed me the fun in it. I explored what it felt like to dress in girly clothes, and what I found was a sense of freedom, the freedom not to be afraid of trying new things and to take risks to discover myself. I'm not a tranny, and I'm not a proper femboy either (though I was sure taken by one, a boy named Annie). I'm a gay boy who isn't afraid to have a little fun with girls on occasion, and I also like to play dress up when I'm in the mood.

Part 2 deals a lot with girls and boys. What makes a boy a boy, and what do girls really have up their pussies? My first experience with a girl's pussy, done on-camera for a generous pay bonus, helped me learn, though it was a bit embarrassing. The girl, Claire, was lovely, and she had a wonderful sense of humor, once I got to know her better. I accidentally did something right in that scene though, and I think it took her out of action for a day or two. (She says it was a whole week, but I know we shot a scene very soon after.)

I also had to face the fact that my mum's flat didn't have enough security for a boy who was soon to become a wealthy celebrity with many expensive possessions. Randy also told me bluntly what he thought of Mum as a parent. I had a difficult decision to make.

Chapter 10
Victory Drive

In chapter 10, Trevor writes about how the lawyers and his agent persuade his mother to sign his contract and how bad her drinking problem had become. Then Trevor, the Russian boys, the lawyers, and Randy go for a limo ride around London to celebrate the official beginning of his new life.

July 16

"Mrs. Hawkinson, how lovely to see you again," said Randy as he entered the flat where I lived with my mum and my older brother Ian. He had come home with me in a limousine after my first day of filming at Frenetic Studios, the UK's largest porn studio. He was there to talk to Mum about signing a contract for me so I could work as an actor for Frenetic in their Children's Division. This would be tricky business, but my new agent, Randy Christianson, was clever and crafty.

What made it so tricky was my age and the nature of the work. I was only eight at the time, almost nine, and Mum thought anything having to do with sex was disgusting. (I only recently learned why that was, but that story is for another time.) If I went to her one day and asked for permission to be in child porn movies, she would have cringed and said "No!" That would be the end of it. (Maybe if I had been a bit cleverer I could have asked, "Mum, I don't have to be in those awful child porn movies, do I?")

That's the way things are in our house. Only Mum has correct opinions and ideas, not dumb little Trevor, my older brother's little brother. It wouldn't matter how successful I might be. (She couldn't stand the idea of me being more successful than my brother Ian.) It wouldn't matter that thousands of child porn actors had worked for Frenetic over the past several decades, and many have gone on to be successful stars of stage and screen. At least twenty of them are BAFTA recipients, and no less than seventy have won Willies, though the Willy Awards have only been in existence for ten years. Others have had successful careers in business, law, politics, and other performing arts.

All kids who work for Frenetic are very well educated by the studio, which is the only one of its kind to be properly licensed as a primary and secondary school as well. The studio hires the finest tutors available, and they are paid very well. We receive a lot of one-on-one time with these tutors, and we learn much faster with this individual attention than students in regular schools, even in the elite fee-paying schools. This kind of education seems to be working very well. For example, I'm twelve, but my tutor Marie says I'm learning at the level of someone who is sixteen in all of my subjects (higher in some), which is tenth grade in the US, where I now live. This is not boasting. My academic marks are completely average for Frenetic America kids my age.

The Public Relations office at Frenetic America has been helpful to me as I write these memoirs, and they provided me with some interesting figures concerning education. As of the end of last year, out of the 1,632 actors who have worked for Frenetic's Children's Division, and who are now age 30 or older (Frenetic America is too new to have any former child actors that old), all had finished secondary school with a GCSE good pass mark in at least two subjects (most finished while at Frenetic), more than 1,200 hold bachelor's degrees (or bachelor equivalents), 431 of whom went on to earn master's degrees, and 87 of whom have earned doctoral degrees. (This more than doubles the national averages in the UK and the US.) One has been a cabinet minister, and three have been MPs. Three others have won Olympic medals, two silver and one bronze (still waiting for gold). Either the Frenetic education system is excellent or the studio only hires intelligent and highly capable actors. After four years of working for Frenetic and Frenetic America, I think both are true.

Sure, some child actors have had problems after leaving Frenetic, but that's nothing compared to the problems they have with former child stars in Hollywood. In fact, Frenetic child alums have fewer problems than most non-actors after entering adulthood because they take such good care of us kids. We have lower rates of criminal arrests and convictions, lower rates of acquired psychiatric disorders, and lower rates of traffic accidents and traffic violations as we grow older. In fact, as a class, we qualify for lower premiums for automobile liability insurance. We score higher in measures of career satisfaction (regardless of career), optimism, and quality of life.

But none of that would matter to Mum. It wouldn't matter to her that they keep a staff of health professionals onsite at Frenetic and Frenetic America, including a nurse on each set (in both the Children and Adult Divisions) and a house physician during all filming hours. They even have two psychologists, one of whom is a pediatric psychologist, whom actors in the Children's Division are required to see for one hour every month, more if the actor, the actor's tutor, the psychologist, or an actor's parent, guardian, or attorney requests it.

Most kids are only allowed to do what we call 'extreme bottoming' once per week, and they are required to see the pediatric colon and rectum specialist once per month. (Sebastian loves those exams. He has an odd condition called IAH that allows him to do more extreme bottoming than most other kids. He's not the only one either.) All of us who are likely to bottom at all, which includes a lot of the girls who want their cherries to remain intact, are taught pelvic floor and sphincter training exercises. We are expected to practice them on our own, though there is a wonderful group offered for doing those exercises together. The most fun part for me is when we pick up objects of different shapes in our ass, walk across the room, and set the object down in a specific place. The long, slender, weighted, and highly lubricated 'plugs' (as we call them) are the most difficult. We all have a good laugh when someone drops one. Some of them now have electronics that produce different programmable sounds when they are dropped, and we never know what the instructor has programmed. There are contests too, with us kids playing in rounds. For each round, more weight is added to the plug, which is always the thinnest one. The battle is really for second place, because Sebastian nearly always wins. That's why the specialists and everybody else give him a lot more freedom with what might or might not be classified as extreme bottoming. I think that boy could take a twenty man anal gang bang and then lift a ten kilo weight hanging from a plastic chopstick shoved up his ass while it's still slippery from all the cum.

They also have an extensive physical fitness program for us kids (though it's nothing like what the adults have to do). Obviously we need to keep fit and look well toned for our work. Some of the films I've done also require gymnastics skills and a great deal of flexibility. Full-time child actors, many of whom live in dormitories or apartments in the studio complex, normally begin their days during the school year with one hour of physical activity and fitness training. We can choose from a variety of activities, including football (of course), judo (my favorite), weight training (mandatory when boys turn twelve), gymnastics, rugby (imagine what those scrums are like), cross country running, swimming (in a proper Olympic pool), many styles of aerobic dance, volleyball, tennis, and I'm sure many other sports that I can't remember. A staff of dietitians provides breakfast and lunch, which are tailored to our specific nutritional needs and tastes, though they allow us some decadence for tea. Actors in residence and those who work the evening shift also get a full supper.

Despite all of these great programs for improving our health and our education, Mum is only concerned with what she has said. Once it is said, it can never be changed. Sex is disgusting. It has been said. Therefore porn is disgusting, and therefore I would not be allowed in the business. She has exactly one opinion on every subject, and no one can change her mind, except her blue-eyed blonde wonder-boy Ian, and then only when he becomes naughty, or 'mischievous' as Mum calls it. He can just smile and giggle, and she will let him get away with anything, especially if it involves picking on his little brother. But I digress.


Until the previous day, I had never heard of child pornography, but after I met Randy in a park, while I was in a somewhat compromising position up high in a tree, he introduced me to some lovely new friends and told me about the business. It was the most important day of my life, because it was the moment I broke free from ignorance, naiveté, and Mum's oppressive attitudes toward sex, and it was the day when I seized control of my own life.

Earlier that day I had gone with Randy to Frenetic Studios with my two new friends (and child porn actors from Russia), Boris and Sebastian, to see if I would really enjoy working in the business. I was to spend the day on the set working as a fluff service provider, or FSP, for Sebastian in the morning, and for Boris in the afternoon. (FSP's have the task of doing whatever is necessary to keep their actor erect.) However, as I was returning to the set after lunch, Randy told me I was urgently needed on another set, not as an FSP, but as an actor! Everything moved so fast, and everyone kept telling me that I was special, a natural, and someone who would go far in the business. Suffice it to say that the executive producer and the owners and investors were so pleased with me that they made me an unusually generous one-year contract offer. Already I had been paid £1,200 in cash for my work today, £300 as an FSP and £900 for acting the scene on-camera.

The scene was actually my on-camera audition for Frenetic Studios, but from what I could tell, it was a mere formality. Actors in the Children's Division get paid thousands for each scene, but the first on-camera scene is always considered an audition. The actor is paid £900 in cash at the end of the day. After the audition, there can be no more acting work until a contract is in place between the studio and the parent or guardian of the actor. In fact, the film with the audition scene cannot be released without the signed contract, so the studio had taken a big risk having me work in that scene. That contract was what Randy was discussing with Mum right now.

I was a little nervous having so much cash all at once. I had never seen £1,200 in one place before. At Randy's suggestion, I kept £200 in cash, and Randy put the rest into the safe in the limo until he got home. He would keep it in a safe in his home until my solicitor Markus and I opened up two bank accounts – one for my college fund and one for my spending money, both of which would be in his name, with me as an authorized card user. It sounds complicated, but really it's just one way I could hide all my money from Mum and Ian. My monthly thousand quid would go directly to Markus, who would then deposit it into my college fund account. Then he would get another 500 quid of trust fund money each month from Randy to deposit into my spending money account. That was the original plan on paper anyway. The actual amount of spending money was considerably higher. Mum wouldn't know about the second account, and she couldn't touch either account anyway. She could hardly complain about the college fund account, as it was her idea.


Boris and Sebastian had come along to my flat too because Randy and I had told Mum about them the day before. This way she would know I wasn't making up stories. Boris always dressed in black, and this evening he was wearing a very sexy pair of black satin running shorts with red stripes, a plain black t-shirt, and of course black shoes and socks. Sebastian was also wearing sexy satin running shorts, but his were bright yellow with blue stripes. He also wore a yellow t-shirt that was covered with bright blue and green triangles. He somehow found a pair of bright yellow shoes with flashing lights in the soles, and just because he's Sebastian, he was wearing Sponge Bob Squarepants socks that matched the Y-fronts I was wearing.

These two could wear whatever they wanted. They were very wealthy. Everything they wore was a deliberate choice. I didn't know how to choose good clothes, and honestly I preferred to be naked when I was around them. Sebastian was usually naked too whenever it was possible, which was most of the time. Boris, however, was the Boy in Black. He had to be wearing at least something black all the time unless he was having sex, which was quite often. When a boy lives with Sebastian, he tends to have sex almost constantly.

It was hard for us boys to sit still at the kitchen table while Mum and Randy were talking over their tea, but every now and then one of the boys would say something like, "Oh yes, Howkinson Mississ, very nice place for boy to work. Have teacher and nurse on set, is very good. Teacher make behave, shout much."

After about ten minutes, Randy brought the subject around to the studio and the film industry. He didn't say much of substance, mostly about Mr. Eastman and his enthusiastic ideas for film roles for me. When Mum seemed to become the slightest bit interested (after Randy mentioned her own monthly stipend in the contract), Randy made a call on his cell phone, asking if the solicitors could meet us in fifteen or twenty minutes with my contract. He smiled and said "thanks, that's even better" as he hung up the call. "Mrs. Hawkinson, we're in luck," he said. "They are very close by, and we can expect them soon, in about five minutes."

The three of us boys tried not to look at each other for fear of giggling. We all knew the solicitors were just outside in the limo.

The doorbell rang exactly five minutes later, and I went to the door to let them in. "Mum," I said, "this is Mr. Kramer and Mr. White. They're the solicitors." Randy had coached me to address them as mister instead of using their first names. He thought it would go better if she didn't think they were already on a first-name basis with me. Besides, Mr. White hates his first name, Virgil, so we all just call him Mr. White.

"Stand up boys, and let the grown-ups sit on the chairs!" Mum was so old fashioned, and not in any way that was good. I didn't like her barking at my new friends like that, but everything had to go smoothly tonight, so I bit my lip and said nothing as the three of us stood together at the table.

While the solicitors did their level best to confuse Mum with the details in the contract and distract her from anything that was important, such as assigning Randy as my trustee and legal guardian and giving Markus my power of attorney, which allowed him to intercept my monthly pay allowance before Mum could get at it, Mum pretended to understand everything, nodding knowingly.

Boris, Sebastian, and I were secretly playing with each other's asses while we stood at the table. We pinched each other and poked each other, trying to make each other giggle, cough, or get a boner. Their thin satin running shorts made their butts feel so nice. I could feel their springy, round, lovely ass cheeks right through them. I thought of Annie's ass cheeks and how impossible it was that they belonged to a mere human. (Annie was a boy who loved being pretty, so he dressed as a girl. He was a friend of Boris and Sebastian. He was so pretty he made me dizzy.) Neither of the boys decided to wear undies before leaving the studio, so I could feel everything through their satin shorts. I lost our little game when I had to bend over to hide my boner. The three of us decided it would be best if we went to the bedroom. Ian was at a Boy Scouts meeting so we would have some privacy. As we walked away behind Mum, I pulled the front of my shorts down to show Randy and the solicitors my boner. They all coughed and cleared their throats. I giggled and ran ahead of Boris and Sebastian to the room I shared with Ian. I quickly pulled off my shorts and underpants and rummaged through my drawer until I found my own little track shorts. They were not thin satin, but at least we sorta matched.

The contract was over 30 pages long, in very small print, with many items repeated numerous times in order to wear out someone like my mum. In the end, she signed just to make them go away. The solicitors bade Mum goodnight and went out to the limo to wait. Randy called the three of us to come back out to the kitchen. Mum had gone to the sitting room to pour herself a large gin and tonic, without offering one to Randy. "Congratulations Trevor," he said, shaking my hand, "you're a star!" I could see Mum in the sitting room with an empty glass, counting a stack of money. "We decided to give your mum her first monthly payment today, just to move things along," Randy said in a hushed voice. "Trevor, if you'd like, you'll be spending the night with us again. I've cleared it with your mum. We have a lot to celebrate!"


I decided that night that a stretch limousine was the best way to see London. As we pulled away from the flat, we all cheered, and there was a frenzy of kissing until each of us had collected at least five kisses, one from everybody. The three of us boys sat together on the seat facing the rear, and the three men sat in the rear facing forward. Markus sat across from me, Mr. White sat across from Sebastian (to my left), and Randy sat on the far side, across from Boris.

Markus had a smile on his face that he couldn't seem to control. He made me giggle, which made him giggle with embarrassment. "Trevor," he said, trying to shake the redness from his face, "you are going to make all of us so bloody rich!" It seems the people in the porn business really liked to clap and cheer because they did it a lot, and they were doing it again.

Then Randy opened what I thought was a table in between the two seats and withdrew a bottle of champagne. "Who feels like celebrating?" he asked. I smiled, not sure what to say. Markus opened a small compartment on the side of what seemed to be a cooler and handed a glass to each of us. Randy popped the cork, which was much louder than I'd expected, and filled my glass first. "The new film star first," he said as he poured. The bubbles made it overflow on Sebastian's lap, so Boris leaned over and started lapping it up.

"Boys first!" Mr. White called out.

When Randy finished filling everybody's glasses, he added a little more to mine. "I want you to raise your glasses, gentlemen," he said. "Child porn has seen a lot of stars come and go. We have seen our fads and our trends. The whole industry has seen its ups and its downs, but it has never seen anything the like of Frenetic's new star, Trevor Hawkinson. To the fabulous success that is sure to follow, Trevor Hawkinson!"

"Trevor!" everyone shouted, with the Russians adding "Boy" to my name, as they always did. Glasses clinked, and I had my first taste of an alcoholic drink. It tasted fruity, but it wasn't very sweet. It was also far too bubbly and hard to swallow without belching. The grown-ups sure liked it though. Sebastian and Boris seemed to like it too. They started to get giggly. I felt warm and happy, truly relaxed for the first time since... maybe the first time ever. The contract was signed, everybody loved me, I had very little to do except live in a heaven of sex with beautiful boys, and I was going to make almost a quarter million quid or more, most likely a lot more, in very little time. I began to smile now, like Markus had been doing earlier. I smiled, and I couldn't stop, though I didn't try very hard. I looked at Sebastian and kissed him deeply. When we ended our kiss, we both started laughing, There wasn't anything funny, but life had suddenly turned so wonderful that nothing mattered. We drove around parks and hillsides, along the Thames, through the countryside, talking about the good things to come. I had finished my glass of champagne in just a few minutes, and Randy poured one more for me. He said I had to wait an hour before he would let me have any more. I found the more I drank, the more I liked it. "Oh be careful, Trevor Boy," said Sebastian. "I sit here on your next and no want your puking on me!"

"Puking?" I asked. "Will champagne make me sick? I've never had it."

"You should drink it slowly then," said Markus. "Find out if your stomach can handle it. Some people can only have a little."

"But nothing can make me feel bad today!" I kissed Sebastian again. "Mr. Markus," said Sebastian, "I no never suck your cock before, no? "No," said Markus. "I think I would have remembered!"

"Come Trevor Boy," said Sebastian as he scooted up onto my lap. "Sit for middle seat so I suck Mr. Markus please." At that moment I thought Sebastian was the sweetest boy in the world. His ass was soft on my lap, the skin on his thighs was luxurious, and he couldn't wait to give Markus a treat. Then his knee hit my glass and spilled half of my champagne. He turned to me and said, "Oh Trevor Boy! So sorry for spill champagne! Randy Man, more champagne for Trevor Boy. I spill for his glass."

I worked my way to the middle seat, but I hooked my right leg around Sebastian's left leg. "You spilled my champagne, I keep your leg!" He smiled sweetly and kissed me as Randy topped off my glass.

"I mean it," said Randy, "drink this one slowly."

I stroked Sebastian's thigh as I sipped my champagne. Sebastian turned to Markus and winked, then kissed him. Sebastian reached down to the man's crotch and began to rub his cock through his trousers. The rest of us began to cheer him on. "Sebastian is a real professional Markus," said Randy. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" I untangled my leg from Sebastian's as he got to his knees on the floor of the limo. I slid over to Boris, snuggled into his chest, and pulled his arm around me as we watched the action.

Sebastian threw the solicitor's tie back around his neck, then slid down to unfasten his belt. He released the button on Markus' trousers, then took the zipper in his teeth and pulled the fly open. "Whoa! Nice move!" I said. I wrapped my left arm around Boris' thigh and had another sip of champagne. Everything felt so good! If there is something that is the opposite of a headache, that's what I had. It was a head feel-good.

Markus was wearing boxer shorts. Sebastian gently teased the front slot open, only a bit, and ran his tongue up and down on the flesh inside. Markus moaned in pleasure at this. Soon his hard cock popped up through the slot. "I do that, call it toaster, for pop up from slot" said Sebastian as he teased Markus with kisses and a few short, soft licks until he was fully hard. "Think you like for me suck this cock, no?"

"Yes, please," said the moaning man.

"My fee for do you this is two southand pound please," he said sitting up, looking the man in the eye. Markus stared at him, as perplexed as anyone I've seen. Sebastian had worked him into such a state, but was it all for money? Was that what porn boys did to earn extra cash from the businessmen in the industry? Sebastian gazed into the man's eyes, sternly, not moving. The man crushed his eyebrows together and whimpered, putting his hand down into his trouser pocket.

As soon as his hand touched his pocket, Sebastian suddenly threw his head down and sucked the man's cock into his mouth as deep as it would go. He sucked the man aggressively while Markus flexed his head back and his whole body stiffened. Randy laughed out loud and said, "I warned you Markus! This one knows all the tricks!" Markus was moaning too hard to reply.

"What you think, Trevor Boy," asked Boris, "him cum quick or cum slow?"

"Dunno," I said. I knew Sebastian was amazing with his mouth, and I know I'd cum right away. I stroked the bottom of Boris' smooth thigh and pondered the matter.

Sebastian stopped for a moment and said, "He not cum till Sebastian say he cum!"

The other two men were watching the action intently. I had wondered about this limo ride. Were we going to have another sex party? It seemed all we did was sex and kissing. That was far better than what I would be doing at home, that's for sure. It was 9:30, and I'd have been sent to bed, an hour before Precious Ian. That wasn't all bad though. It gave me private time to wank all I wanted. I guess whether I was here or at home, I would be having some kind of sex. I decided I would play hard-to-get though. If someone wanted my sexy body, they would have to beg first!

Then I saw something that truly surprised me, just when I thought there was nothing left to surprise me. I saw Randy's hand reach over and stroke Mr. White's upper thigh, then down over his crotch! Why did that surprise me? Maybe it was because for the last day and a half I had seen nothing but adults having sex with kids and kids having sex with other kids. It was all about us kids. So Randy and Mr. White were gay. So? I must admit, I felt a little disappointed at not being the focus of everyone's attention. I laid my head down on Boris' bare thigh and thought about how silly I was being. I couldn't play hard-to-get if they didn't want to get me! Boris stroked my hair. I imagined he knew what I was thinking.

Then I got an idea. I sat up, kissed Boris, and took a swallow of my champagne. This was my party, and I was king. It was time for me to act like a king! "Randy, take off his belt!" It was a command, not a suggestion. Randy grinned at me, then obeyed. "Markus! Take that shirt off! Undershirt as well!" He obeyed too. "Randy! Unbutton and unzip those trousers. Pull them down now! I don't want to wait!" It was just like being a dom with Adrian and Robbie back at the studio. I had another gulp. I didn't know if they had been waiting for me to do this or if they were just humoring me, but at the time I knew they were obeying me, so I continued. "Sebastian! You can go deeper than that!" I had seen Sebastian taking all of Pao Pao's eight inch cock into his throat earlier in the day while he was shooting his morning scene. Markus' cock was big, but not that big. Sebastian inhaled deeply and obeyed. He shoved the cock into his throat as deep as it would go. Then he pressed harder until his knees lifted off the limo floor. Suddenly something gave way, and the whole cock slid right in, balls deep. "Wow, so sexy for Sebastian doing that," said Boris. "I know," I said with confidence as I continued to caress the bottom of his thigh. "Randy! Suck that cock! It's not gonna suck itself!" Randy nodded and began to suck Mr. White's big cock with enthusiasm. "Sebastian! He cums when you decide he cums, but you will make him cum by deep throating him." The boy nodded as the man grunted and gasped.

I thought it was unusual that all three men had such big cocks. So did Boris. People had told me that mine was big, or at least that it was long. Only Sebastian had a normal boy-sized cock.

I could feel Boris' hard cock through his skimpy satin running shorts, and he was starting to breathe faster. "No Boris," I said. "You stay where you are. It seems you are mine tonight."

He sighed and giggled, "Yes Trevor Boy." I had the impression he was playing along, but not taking my role as dom seriously.

"He doesn't look as hard as he could be Randy," I called. "You only have one cock to take care of. Take care of it!" He bobbed his head up and down faster, and Mr. White gasped. "White! Do you like boys?"

There was a look of something like fear in his eyes. He nodded his head and said, "Yes I do. I love boys, especially boys like you."

"Keep dreaming, White," I said, taking another drink. "This is one boy ass you'll have to earn, and you have quite a ways to go before that happens." I pulled my shorts waistband down over my hip to tease him, and he came right away in Randy's mouth. Randy wasn't expecting it, so he coughed and let it all spill out of his mouth, making a mess on Mr. White's crotch. "Lick it up, Randy!" I yelled. I squeezed Boris' thigh with excitement as Randy licked and cleaned the cum mess from Mr. White. "Clean his cock carefully!" Randy obeyed.

Randy lifted his head when the job was complete, and Mr. White flopped back on the seat, completely spent. "Feeling a little worn out, White? I should set Sebastian on you next. You'll see what it means to be worn out!" Randy smiled at me and raised his glass to me before having a drink.

"Look at Sebastian!" Randy exclaimed. Markus turned to him with a look of desperation. "He's been edging Markus for at least five minutes, all deep throat!"

"Little buddy Sebastian very good, never tired. He know how you feel, make adjust. Very exact," said Boris. "I think it's time for you to let him shoot Sebastian," I said. He nodded slightly and held his face firmly to the man's body, the big man-cock fully in the boy's throat. Sebastian made shallow, rapid movements until the man let out a roar of pleasure, his body in spasms. Sebastian stayed where he was, no longer moving, but not releasing the man's cock. It seemed Markus' cum shot straight into Sebastian's stomach. Sebastian closed his eyes, bulled back a bit, and began to breathe deeply through his nose, still not letting go of the man's cock. He turned his head to the side and rested it on the man's left hip, still keeping his cock deep inside his mouth.

"He sleep some time like this, with big cock in mouth. Very sweet," said Boris.

I drank down the last of my champagne and said, "Naked, Randy. Now!" Randy looked surprised but obeyed. "I want to see wood Randy! Hardwood!" He took hold of his lovely big cock and began stroking it. He was hard in just a few seconds. He knew I had plans for him, and he was also a professional.

"Sebastian," I cooed, "my sweet Sebastian, wake up!" He looked at me as if to plead to let him stay where he was so comfortable with his favorite binky, a man's cock in his mouth. He gave it a few more sucks. "Up Sebastian. Naked. Now. Markus, help him!" Sebastian pulled his head up slowly, savoring the full length of the soft cock as it slowly slid its way out of his mouth and flopped down on the man's body. Markus reached down to Sebastian's waist and pulled his shirt up and off. Sebastian pulled his shorts to his knees, then sat back on the seat while Markus pulled them the rest of the way off, and then the boy's socks and shoes.

"All fours, Sebastian, with your ass facing Markus." He obeyed. "Markus, lick his ass. Get it lubed. Good. Now put two fingers inside. Do it now! Don't wait! He will take it!" Sebastian grunted softly as the man's fingers pried his sphincter open, which we all knew was not difficult. "Give him a good massage," I said. Markus began rubbing Sebastian's little, underdeveloped prostate, and the boy moaned. I glanced back at Randy to make sure he was hard, and then I said, "Fingers out! Sebastian! On your belly! On the table! Open wide for Randy!" Man and boy obeyed, and soon Sebastian was spread-eagle on the table that was really a cooler full of champagne. "On your knees Randy, and let him have it!"

Randy knew what a sexual animal Sebastian was, so he obeyed without hesitating. He slid his butt-hammer into little Sebastian's not-so-little hole and fucked at full speed. The boy squealed, the man moaned, and the other men looked on gratefully.

Boris began gyrating his hips to rub his cock against me. "Boris, no!" I yelled. I dug my fingers into the back of his thigh, then resumed caressing it. How could strong muscles feel so soft when they are relaxed? Men aren't like that, only boys. And Boris was a strong boy. You can't have sex all day with someone and not have an idea how strong they are. My thighs were soft, but in a soft and squishy, little boy way. I didn't think there were any muscles in my thighs at all. I wondered if that would change as I grew up. I hoped one day I would have thighs like Boris.

Randy grunted louder and louder while Sebastian squeaked and squealed. Soon Randy came, and I ordered Sebastian to clean off Randy's cock with his mouth. He boy obeyed, of course. I was calm, and I was still in command. I was pretty sure everyone was playing along because it was fun, and because it was my party, but I didn't care. It might have been the champagne. Two glasses is a lot for a boy of eight, almost nine.

I pulled Sebastian next to me so all three of us boys were cuddling in a row. There was only one way to end this drive. I kissed Sebastian deeply, then extended my legs over the table in Mr. White's direction. "White! Shoes and socks off! Now!" He removed my shoes and socks, looking somewhat afraid that I was going to order him to endure more pleasure. "Sebastian," I said softly, "pull my shorts and undies down to my knees." I arched my back, lifting my ass off the seat, and he obeyed. "Now my shirt." I pulled him next to me again. "Randy!" I said harshly. Shorts and undies off! Now!" I was naked, snuggling between my two favorite boys in the world, but there was unfinished business.

I turned slightly to my left and smiled at Boris as I rubbed his cock through his shorts. I turned to my right and kissed Sebastian and nudged him off of me. I rose from my seat and lay supine on the table. "Sebastian, feed me. Boris, in my ass. Let's put on a show for these good gentlemen!"

Boris stripped immediately and licked out my ass, leaving it sloppy and wet. He slowly inserted a finger, then moved it around to loosen me up. "None of that," I said. "Just stick it in!" I felt a little reckless and impatient. Was it the champagne again? The thick, smooth cock felt as wonderful as ever as he slid it into my hole. I let out a soft cooing sound as my ass erupted with sensation. I grabbed Sebastian's ass to pull his cock into my mouth. His cock was about the same size as mine, but not as long. It wasn't difficult to fit it all in my mouth, and I could do a lot more with my tongue than I could when I was sucking Boris or other boys at the studio who had bigger cocks. Sebastian tried to lean over and suck my cock at the same time, but I wouldn't let him. I had a plan. Sebastian had such a cute ass! It was round and perky. It seemed to project out more than other boys' butts. Nearly every part of the body can make me cum if I focus on it, and there were many times when it was Sebastian's ass that got me there.

I draped my legs over Boris' shoulders as he pulled me by the hips. I brought my legs together to feel his face, and at the same time I brought Sebastian's legs together on my own face.

I jumped suddenly as I felt something very cold splashing on my belly. With Sebastian's thighs over my ears, it was hard to hear what was going on. I pushed Sebastian back to hear everyone laughing, men and boys, as the three men each poured a full glass of champagne over my naked body. Randy leaned forward, filling another glass, and very carefully tipped a small amount of it into my mouth. The boys were each having another drink as well.

I wrapped my legs around Boris' waist and pulled him back in. Then I pulled Sebastian into my face again and sucked like I meant it. Another minute went by, and several things happened rather suddenly. Boris came in my ass, and he seemed to cum hard. Sebastian had a boygasm too, and he was trying to pull away from me. I held him in place though and kept sucking him through his dry orgasm. Then I felt more cold champagne flowing down Sebastian's thighs and onto my face and shoulders, and more flowing down Boris' body onto my thighs, with some splashing onto my boner.

When Boris slowly pulled his soft cock from my ass, I let Sebastian go. I sat up, and Randy handed me a full glass of champagne. I gulped half of it down. I liked the way I was feeling! I was in control, I was not scared, and nothing could stop me! I turned around to face the other side of the table. "Markus! Suck my COCK!" I shouted. He looked me in the eye, curiously. I returned the gaze sternly. He got to his knees on the limo floor and took my cock into his mouth.

The others cheered, and I smiled as I was given an incredible blowjob. Markus worked for me now. He was in his place. I was the one everybody wanted, and if he wanted a piece of the action, he was going to be my bitch.

Well, that's not what I was thinking that night, but today I think that's what the blowjob from my lawyer might have meant to me. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, and he just gave me a damn fine blowjob while I was buzzed on alcohol for the first time in my life.

Markus sucked with power and urgency. The others again poured champagne all over me, from head to foot. My hair was soaked. Then I felt four small, soft hands on my right chest and thigh, and four larger, less soft hands on my left chest and thigh, smearing the champagne over my whole body, adding more where it was needed. I belonged to everybody. I could feel the world longing for me. I had a powerful orgasm, but it wasn't as harsh as they usually were. It was simply thrilling. I held Markus' head down to let him know I wanted him to continue. I let out a sound that felt like a great sigh of joy and a cry combined. I felt tears in my eyes, then running down my temples. I held Markus' head still, and I realized I really was crying. I had no idea why. I wasn't sad. I was the happiest I'd ever been. It was my first experience with tears of joy.

I sat up and hugged and kissed everyone in the limo, telling them I loved them all. I think it disturbed some of them that I was crying, and I mean really crying, but Randy understood, and I think Sebastian did too. They knew how overjoyed I was, and that the alcohol was making me feel like letting it out. They both smiled, and Sebastian poured a little more champagne over my head. "Looks more cuter with wet head and droppings on face," he said. Mr. White looked almost frightened as this crying naked boy, soaking wet with expensive champagne, wrapped him in a hug, so after I kissed him, I smiled and licked his nose to show him I was happy.

At one point we opened the privacy screen so I could crawl naked into the front seat and hug and kiss the driver the next time we stopped. "Blimey, you're a pretty one, ain't ya!" he said. "Are you new at the studio?"

"Yes," I replied. "We're celebrating my first contract tonight."

He patted my bare ass as I climbed back into the rear of the limo, saying, "mark my words boy, with that face and this ass, you'll go places!" Maybe I would get tired of hearing that at some point, but not today.

Before closing the privacy screen, Randy called to the driver, "Take us through Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, past Buck Palace, and then past Harrods."

"Right Sir," said the driver.

Something was going on that I didn't know about. Randy nodded to each of the Russian boys, and they both wore devilish grins. As we passed through each of the popular tourist areas, the electric sunroof opened, and Boris and Sebastian wrestled me up through the opening. I was sitting on their shoulders, and they tried to push me high enough so people could see my willy! It was a warm summer evening in London, but it was still cold to a boy who was dripping in chilled champagne. As we passed Nelson's Column, one of the boys shoved his finger up my ass, and I squealed to the whole square! I guess I needed to become accustomed to people looking at me while I was naked. As we drove past Buckingham Palace, Boris held me up by himself while Sebastian sucked my cock, which of course was all shriveled from the cold wind. All three of us sat on top of the car with our legs hanging down through the sunroof as we passed Harrods. Traffic was moving slowly, and one man threw each of us a string of beads.


Our drive ended as we entered the private grounds of an opulent mansion in Chelsea. I had never thought to ask where we were going. It seemed we were just driving. We were soaked, our clothes were soaked, and I had no idea where we were. "Well, never mind that," said Randy with a smile. "I think you've been voted the most beautiful boy in the world, so you don't need to cover up."

Boris and Sebastian thought this was funny, and I really didn't care anymore. I swigged the last of my champagne, and the other boys dumped what remained in their glasses over my head. "Baptize this boy Trevor Boy Hawkniss... Hawknsiss... Trevor Hawk...Boy!" said Boris. Everybody cheered again. That was the beginning of my stage name, Trevor Hawk, and the different versions of it, accidentally uttered by a Russian boy who couldn't pronounce my last name.

"Don't worry about your wet things," Randy said as I was wringing out my shirt. "Just leave them in the car. They will be taken care of." I guess that was ok for us boys, but the men all put their wet clothes back on and tried to look presentable.

I looked around the completely unfamiliar grounds and asked, "Where are we? Who's the lord of this manor?"

"Is not worry, Trevor Boy. Is only party with tuxedo and fur coat," said Boris with a cheeky grin. "I tell you, is not for worry." He knew he was making me nervous, and I knew it was just a wind-up. "Trevor Boy being naked is like ugly guy being with tuxedo," he continued. "Both make more good looking." He could be so sweet! I looked at Randy, and he looked at a very nervous Mr. White, who was trying to wipe the cum from the front of his trousers.

I could hear lively piano music coming from inside, so I danced up to the front door. Sebastian joined me, and we danced together until the others were ready to enter. I had learned over the past two days that if Boris and Sebastian were not worried, then I shouldn't worry either.

Chapter 11
A Formal Occasion

Mr. Eastman loved his living statue art. Those people had to remain motionless for twenty minutes at a time, including all their facial expressions. While at my signing party at Cockerel Manor, I saw myself in the huge, gold-tinted mirror wall, and I looked good. I looked beautiful. Was that really me? It hurt again to see such a beautiful boy, even though it was me this time. Why did that keep happening?

Mr. White rang the door chime. A stern, thin, balding man who looked older than the American president, and who was dressed in a long tuxedo and white gloves answered. He looked over our group. He seemed to smile at us boys, but he looked with a hint of disdain at the men. "Enter please," he said. "Sir is expecting you in the statuary room. This way please." We followed him over marble floors, past antique bronze statues, and beneath ornately painted ceilings, pausing at the entrance to a large room that I couldn't quite see from where I was standing. The place looked like a royal residence. Were we about to meet the queen? Then, turning to me, the man said, "Welcome to Cockerel Manor, and may one offer one's humble congratulations to you on the occasion of your first contract signing, Master Trevor." He bowed and followed us into the room.

"Thank you Benton," I heard Randy say.

Sebastian was pulling me by the arm around an open door into a very large and luxurious room. We passed a serving-man who was holding a tray of champagne glasses. We each took one, of course. There were sofas and cushioned chairs arranged all around the room. There was a large, black grand piano in the back corner with a woman playing it, and a fireplace in the middle of the back wall. Oil paintings of all sorts, battle scenes, landscapes, portraits, nudes, people having sex, and even stupid bowls of fruit, hung from the walls.

A gold-tinted mirror with decorative arch patterns covered the entire right wall. As we entered, I saw our reflections in the mirror, and I thought for the first time, Wow, I really am cute! I could see my whole naked body and lots of other people too because the mirror was so huge. I saw my shape for the first time as I had seen the shapes of other boys, like Sebastian. I saw my messy wet hair as something that looked cute on a boy who was having fun. The curve of my ass cheeks, the shape of my legs, the shape of my torso (not round, but not too flat and skinny), my big brown eyes, and my cute smile really did look fantastic! My cock seemed the perfect size for a little boy (a term I was growing accustomed too, now that I knew what it meant at Frenetic) – not too big, not too small, and even though it was shriveled from the cold, it stood out in front of me, demanding attention. I wondered what it would be like to fuck myself. I really did have a great ass! Why was I the only one in the whole world who could never know what it was like to fuck that great ass? I remembered a TV program where someone who loved himself too much complained because he had to have a platonic relationship with his reflection. I didn't know what that word meant, but that evening I thought I was feeling something similar.

But then I remembered that I was going to be fucking, and the cute, shapely boy ass that I was looking at would be fucked, in front of cameras now, and I would have plenty of opportunities to look at my beautiful body in action. I realize that sounds a bit narcissistic today, but then I was discovering for the first time that there were good qualities in myself that other people liked. I didn't really know what they were (nor do I really know them all today), and I certainly hadn't learned them from Mum. You've got to understand what a cascade of wonderful feelings I had raining down inside of me because of that discovery. I didn't know which good qualities were ok to talk about or which ones would make me sound like an arrogant shit. I was simply looking in the mirror at that moment and seeing a boy who was lovable, a boy whom I actually loved. I nearly cried.


"So good to see you again, Trevor my boy," boomed the huge voice of Mr. Eastman. "It looks as though you've thoroughly enjoyed your victory drive. No clothes, and if I'm not mistaken, that's champagne in your hair?" I grinned broadly at him, nodding and giggling. He turned to Mr. White, looked down at his cum-stained crotch, and said, "No trouble with the mother then, was there?" He turned his face back up and winked at Mr. White.

"None at all, Sir," he said. "We went with the obfuscation language and paid her first stipend. Only a thousand bob too. After that she couldn't wait to see the back of us."

"Oh wonderful," lowed Mr. Eastman, himself showing the signs of having had a bit of champagne. "That is truly splendid news!" He put his hand on my head, meaning to rumple my hair, but instead he caused drops of champagne to fly, and a few drops to run down my face. "Oh dear me, you did do the victory drive properly, didn't you!" I had to giggle as he wiped a drop off the tip of my nose with his finger. Then, looking down at my shriveled cock, he said, "Perhaps we should stand by the fire and you boys can warm up a bit, eh? Gentlemen?" he said, looking around the group. As we made our way toward the fireplace, I realized that there were many other people in the room. Aside from the serving staff, everybody from the meeting with the owners and investors was there, including Robbie, and they were all dressed in tuxedos or evening gowns, and some actually did have fur coats. Several other adults were there as well, and I didn't recognize most of them, though I did recognize Khan. Robbie, Boris, Sebastian, and I were the only kids in the room, and Robbie was dressed in a formal jacket and tie, with an emblem on the jacket, and very short shorts.

But the people who stood out most, lining the walls of the room, were naked men and women on low marble plinths, frozen still, mostly in pairs, in the act of having various forms of sex, as if they were all statues. There were men with women, men with men, women with women, large groups, smaller groups, even some alone on their plinth frozen in masturbation. "Admiring my art, dear boy?" asked the booming voice of Mr. Eastman.

"Art, sir?"

"Why yes, my boy! Living statues. I find them more appealing than their marble counterparts, don't you agree? I must say the men have the more difficult part in this sort of art. Imagine keeping your John Thomas like that for twenty minutes," he pointed his finger at a man's erect penis that was inserted into a woman's ass, "without moving at all! Why I could never... but I'm an old man. Now, in my youth I had stamina. Stamina, boy! You don't appreciate it now, but the time will come when you will be truly grateful to be in this line of work. With a lifetime of working several scenes during the day and carousing with your coworkers at night, you will maintain your youthful virility and control over your willy into your autumn years." He tugged my shriveled cock playfully, but I wasn't sure I knew what he was talking about. I knew I needed to exercise to stay strong my whole life long, but I didn't think that was quite it.

I looked around at the living statues, and I thought about when I had seen grown-ups having sex. I could only think of twice. Earlier today in the bath hall at the studio there was a woman giving a man a blowjob, and then there was Randy giving Mr. White a blowjob in the limousine. Here was a chance to see all kinds of sex, and to study grown-up bodies. I mean, I knew all about men's bodies (rather, I thought I did at the time), but Amber, a fourteen year-old girl at the studio, was the closest I had come to seeing a naked woman's body close up. She was elegant and pretty, but I didn't know what was inside her pussy. I supposed I would have plenty of opportunities to learn in my new line of work.

I began to wander from the fireplace, studying the bodies. I came across one group of at least twelve men and women in a big tangled pile, all twisted round each other. I couldn't tell which arms or legs belonged to which bodies or faces. None of the men or women in the room had any body hair or pubic hair, and they all had even tans and soft looking skin, so it was difficult to see a leg and know whether it belonged to a man or a woman. Even an ass could be difficult to distinguish as male or female if only part of it was visible. Several mouths, male and female, had cocks in them, or their tongues were protruding into pussies. I walked around the group, trying to find where each person began and ended. Sometimes I would find cocks inserted into asses in the most unexpected places. On the left side there was a woman's pelvis exposed with her pussy wide open and her legs bent back into the pile. I couldn't tell where her face was. I leaned in slowly for a closer look at her pussy. I wanted to know what was in there. All I could see was pink, slimy stuff. It still wasn't enough for me to have a proper view inside. I looked around some more, and I must have giggled in surprise when I saw a woman's pussy with a cock in it, and another cock in her ass.

"Oh, so you like my group display, do you Trevor?" asked Mr. Eastman. Again, he looked at my cock, this time noticing that I had a boner, again. "This plinth has displayed many, many fine arrangements over the years. All original as well; there's none like it in the world."

"They're all so smooth," I said. "May I touch them, Sir?"

"Gently, my boy. Touch them gently." I thought about feeling around inside that open pussy, but I was too nervous. I ran my hand over two smooth, relaxed thighs, not entirely sure whether they were male or female. "I can't tell the men from the women by looking at them, and I get confused. Their legs look lovely, but I don't want to look at the wrong ones. I only like boys. Well, sort of. What if I see a leg or an ass, and I think it's lovely, but it's a girl's?"

"Whoa ho! You've got it right there my boy, you've got it!"

"Got it, sir?"

"Indeed you have!" he said. "One of the most fascinating aspects of this large group display is the very thing you've just pointed out! When it comes to love, we should love when we feel the love, not after we've qualified whether someone is eligible for our love. Do you see?"

"I think so, Sir," I said, not understanding him a single bit.

He pointed to a part of the pile protruding from the front. "You enjoy the beauty of this ass right here, do you not? Is this ass beautiful, my boy?"

"Certainly it is, Sir."

"Come here and feel it. Does it feel like an ass you would want to fuck, my boy?"

I didn't want to fuck any grown-up's ass, but I felt it as he instructed. The ass was smooth and soft. It was shaped lovely and round. "Sir, this ass is perfectly lovely!" I could feel my boner swelling.

"Tell me boy," said Mr. Eastman, "how would you decide whether to have pleasure with that ass, with your head or with your cock?"


"Look at your cock boy! Look at your cock! If you are attracted to the beauty of the ass, then why should it matter if its owner has a cock? The ass is just as lovely, eh?"

"Oh, I see Sir!" This time I was telling the truth, and his smile told me he knew it.

"We love what we feel, not what we know. Here at Frenetic Studios, our business is love, boy, love! Never forget that!"

"No Sir," I said, shaking my head.

"If we love, if we feel pleasure, we do not ask silly questions like what is or is not hanging from the other side of a beautiful ass. And you, my boy," he said, putting his hand on my cheek, "you have so much love and pleasure to offer this world, and at a time when the world so desperately needs it."

A bell rang, and all of the naked men and women disentangled themselves, stood up straight, and filed quietly out of the room through a door on the far side. Mr. Eastman surprised me by giving me a hug. "Ah, the temporal nature of things. That which lives, changes, and then it is no more. How old are you boy? Nine? Ten?"

"Eight, Sir, nearly nine."

"Oh yes, yes, of course. Randy and I discussed this before. My boy, you will have an absolutely marvelous career with us in our Children's Division, simply marvelous," he said. "But alas, boys like you must grow up, and we will only have you for a short while."

That didn't sound good at all. "But they said I could make movies here for five years if I wanted, probably more, Sir."

"And so you can, my boy, so you can, and much longer I hope, but when you've become an old man like me, and one day you shall do just that, you will realize how brief five years can be. But this is the most joyous time of your life! You have youth and beauty and love and everything else that matters! Do not let an old man's laments to Father Time sully this of all days! Benton! Enjoy the most beautiful time of your life!" Then he called out, "Benton! More champagne for our guests!" He hugged me again and chuckled at the wet spot on his tuxedo that my champagne-soaked hair made. Just then another group of naked men and women filed out of the rear door, assumed their positions, and inserted their parts where they needed to go. A bell rang, and all were frozen still once more. "Sebastian, come here boy," boomed Mr. Eastman. "See here, young Trevor needs some assistance. Why don't you see to his needs while I check on the champagne."

Sebastian knelt in front of me, flashed me a smile, and began what felt like my hundredth blowjob of that day, and it felt so nice! My eyes turned toward the door as I noticed three men walking in, wearing tuxedos. It was Randy, Markus, and Mr. White. I hadn't noticed they'd left the room. Then I looked over the new pile of bodies on the plinth as Sebastian sucked me. I could see a woman's sparkling green eye and some of her brown hair through a gap toward the bottom. She had a rather large cock in her mouth. This was a lot like my earliest fantasies, being put on display for the world to see. That still turned me on. I found the parts of the pile that I liked, and I stroked them with my hands. My body jerked as I barked out another orgasm. That hadn't taken much time at all, I thought. Most of the people in the room turned to look at me, but that didn't seem to matter. It was a bit of a turn-on.

I kissed Sebastian deeply. I loved him so much, and I told him so. "Loves you much too Trevor Boy, so sweet."


Randy approached us with a file folder in his hands. "Well boys," he said, "it looks like a light day tomorrow, but an important one. Trevor, they want to finish St. Felix Academy, so you have a scene tomorrow afternoon. Big money this time, eh kid? And Sebastian, you're scheduled for an afternoon scene as well. It's that gang bang with the construction crew we talked about – eight men I think. Remember not to swallow all of it this time. Leave a mess. You know better. You're a professional. The viewers love a messy face."

"Sorry one time more, Randy Man," said Sebastian. "Love taste of man to cum for mouth. Forget some time for leave mess."

Randy nodded and continued, "Boris has the day off, but he wants to see if he can pick up some fluff work on the ladyboy shoot, so nothing for anyone till the afternoon. You know what that means boys?"

"We don't have to wake up early?" I asked.

"We drink more champagne!" said Sebastian. And we did.


There were so many things that people seemed to like about other people's bodies and how they had sex with them. I always liked cocks, especially big ones, and I always liked lots of smooth skin. I liked licking and tasting people's body parts (except earwax, but I liked ears a lot). I've always thought boys look beautiful with long hair too. But being around the people from Frenetic was changing me. Boris really loved Asian ladyboys, who were kind of like Jeanine, I guess. They were girls on the inside and boys on the outside, so they tried to make their outside match their inside. But then some of them were just boys who liked wearing girls' clothes and pretended to be girls for fun.

I had known for years that most boys liked girls, but some boys, like me, like other boys. Some girls like boys, and some like other girls. And some like both boys and girls. I learned later that I could really enjoy sex with the right girl, but I loved boys. Mr. Eastman seemed to like it when he couldn't tell whether someone was a boy or girl. I didn't know if that made him bisexual, someone who didn't care, or someone who just liked to guess.

Then there were people like Amber, a teenage girl I met at the studio who liked to be pushed around and treated rough. And I thought Malcolm (another actor from the studio) was a boy who liked to push people around and be rough with them during sex, only I think he likes to do it more with other boys, like Ryan. I was discovering new things about what I liked the whole time while I was there. Take Ryan, for example. He had worked as a fluff boy for Malcolm earlier that night. He was simply beautiful. He was eleven years old, tall, slender, blond, well tanned, and very, very graceful. I didn't think boys could be graceful at all, but he is, and it seems so natural to him. I learned that even a kind of motion, graceful movement, could be a turn-on to me.

And then there was Annie, magical Annie! I think he was also a very graceful boy who liked looking like a girl. Annie sometimes seemed like a delicate figurine, and I wanted to hold him and protect him. Sometimes he liked to dance and let his skirt fly (if he wore a skirt). Sometimes he liked to sing rock and roll songs at karaoke parties. (He never looked delicate then!) No matter what he did, it seemed to turn me on more and more. He seemed like such a mystery, and I thought I would never understand him completely. Maybe the mystery was the biggest turn-on, and I didn't want to understand him?

I wasn't sure, but I thought I was in love with Annie. It had only been one day since I'd met him, but nothing else mattered when he was in the same room as me. I had never felt that way about anyone before. Now that I'm twelve, I know I was infatuated at the time, but as time went on, I'm pretty sure I fell in love. I was only eight, almost nine, and I don't know if a boy can actually fall in love at that age, but I was certain of it at the time. I wanted him so badly it hurt! I think that might have been because I hadn't felt much love at all in my life before becoming part of Frenetic, and I was afraid I would lose him as soon as I met him. I've spoken with Linda, the studio 's pediatric psychologist, many times during our regular meetings about my feelings toward Annie, and she said she didn't have the correct answer, but that was a possible explanation. She couldn't tell me whether an eight year-old boy (almost nine) could even fall in love. (It's frustrating when professionals like Linda can't answer questions for me, but really I love her. She's taught me how to live with not knowing things. If something feels good, I enjoy the good feeling without worrying too much about why it feels good, as long as it's not harmful.

There were still more ways people can love each other's bodies. I learned that some people have fetishes. They might love only a person's feet. (Randy told me a lot of people are like that.) They might go crazy for people who wear stockings and a suspender. They might like to be tied up or put in chains. They might be obsessed with rubber or leather clothes. Later in my career I learned some people like to be peed on, or even shit on. (I don't like to think about that one.) Some people like bugger animals, but Frenetic won't produce those kinds of films.

People can use almost any part of their body to touch almost any part of another person's body and get off on it. I'm sure there are two people right know rubbing their elbows together, bringing each other to orgasm.


Benton brought a tray of champagne glasses around, and I drank mine faster than I'd intended. When I went back for more, Benton said, "Certainly, Master Trevor, but I must inform you that Mr. Christianson has restricted me to allowing you only one of these," he held up a silver tray, on which was a tiny shot glass filled with champagne, "every five minutes, no sooner. It is the gentleman's concern that, as a boy of eight years, one might not yet have mastered the skill of pacing one's consumption of such beverages, and he does not wish one to suffer the unfortunate effects one might experience, should one over-consume. Indeed, pacing one's consumption is quite an advanced skill that many adults have not mastered, Sir."

I looked at the floor. I think Benton could sense my frustration and embarrassment, even though I only understood half of what he said. I really liked champagne now, better than fancy grape juice. I liked the way it made me feel, but I kept drinking it down so fast because I liked the juicy flavor. I knew Randy thought I was drinking too fast, and now Benton could only give me a little bit at a time.

"Might I suggest, Master Trevor, if one prefers, I shall track the time and pour the allotted amount into a chilled flute. One can then take the flute directly when it is as full as one wishes. One need only look to the tray at my station and take it at one's leisure, Sir." I guessed that 'flute' was a fancy word for a glass.

I looked at Benton, who made me giggle for some reason. I think Randy was watching my drinking carefully and allowing me to edge on drunkenness without actually becoming drunk. I felt funny, and I felt happy. I wanted to sing, and to dance, and to have more champagne, but today I know that if I'd had much more, things would have gone very badly for me. Randy was looking after me, but he was also being quite generous.

"A splendid suggestion Benton, my good man," I said in the most posh accent I could muster, rising to my toes (which was no easy feat after having had a few drinks). "Tell me Benton, have you any caviar?" I only asked for the caviar because I thought it was something a rich, posh person would say.

"Certainly, Master Trevor. I shall send for some immediately." He held up his white-gloved hand and beckoned a serving-man to his side, instructing him to "bring caviar for Master Trevor." I had never tasted it before, but if rich people liked it so much, I thought it must be really good.


I snuck up behind Boris and hugged him while he was chatting with Randy. We kissed, and I told him I loved him. "Such sweets Trevor Boy," he said. "Much love for you also!"

Then I caught Robbie's eye. I didn't mean to ignore him, but so far I had been busy talking and getting sucked off, and he was also busy talking with important-looking people. It seemed we were both free now, and we met in the middle of the room. We shared a lovely hug and a kiss. "Look at you, Trevor!" he exclaimed. He felt my wet hair and said, "That's champagne, isn't it?"

I giggled and said, "Yeah, we had a little fun on the drive here. Our clothes are soaked."

"Would you prefer to wear clothes?" he asked. "Benton will get you something to wear. Oh, and when boys visit Cockerel Manor, they are given a suit just like this one, or two or three of them, I don't remember. That way the staff know to treat you like a celebrity, and you never have to worry about what to wear to a party here. I'm sure you can have it now, or you can just carry it with you when you leave. I wonder why Eastman didn't present it to you when you arrived."

"Er... I think we might have looked like we were having too much fun naked." I felt nervous about what I was about to tell Robbie, but I said it anyway. "I like being naked in front of everybody. I mean I really like it! In a big crowd like this, I can look around, and there's always loads of people looking at me and smiling when I look back. Mum taught me that being naked in front of people was shameful and disgusting. She said that about being naked and anytime anyone said anything about any kind of sex. But she was wrong, wasn't she? I really like this! Am I shameful and disgusting, Robbie?"

Robbie smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. "I know exactly what you mean, mate. And of course you're not shameful or disgusting. You're a lovely boy!" I smiled when he said that, but I could feel my face getting warm. "That feeling you're talking about is really great when you're young and new and not used to it. It can lose its excitement after a few years though. But sometimes I'm still surprised, and I have those feelings all over again. It's like being nervous, but shaking your willy at the nervousness and telling it to get stuffed, right? That's how I felt."

"Yeah! It's like that! You must know everything about all this stuff," I told him. He dismissed my comment with a wave of his hand, but I persisted, "You're older than me. You've been living like this for years. You really helped me to get through that scene this afternoon. You helped me learn what being a dom is like, but your twelve, and I'm eight, nearly nine." Robbie seemed to blush a bit. "I really like you Robbie, and you're dead sexy. Can we be friends?"

"I was just doing what we do at Frenetic, mate, and of course we can be friends! With benefits if you like," he added with a grin. I tilted my head, not understanding that last bit. He grabbed my cock and started stroking it, saying with a sly smile, "With benefits, mate!" My poor cock was starting to feel sore from having stiffies all day. "You and me mate. You're really cute, and I think you give a great blowjob for a boy your size. Yeah, I can teach you a few things too, but there are a few things you're just a natural at."

"Yes please, I'd love to learn from you!" I said with excitement. "That's just what I wanted, an older boy to be my friend and help me sort all this out. I think that's like a big brother," I said, knowing it was not at all like my stupid big brother Ian. He smiled, and it was a smile that I hadn't seen much in my life, a smile that meant he really was sincere, that he really wanted to be my friend, someone I could look up to and learn from, and have fun with. I felt warm inside. I jumped up into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissed and hugged him. When he set me back down, I sniffled and tried to wipe away a few tears before he saw them. All of these people were so lovely!


Mr. Eastman went to the back of the room, and the bell rang, signaling the live statues to leave. It didn't seem as if twenty minutes had passed yet. He then approached the piano as the naked men and women all filed out, and the pianist ended her song. He stood in front of the piano and tapped his glass with a pen to attract everybody's attention. "Ladies, gentlemen, and boys, er, young gentlemen," he called out, "may I have your attention please?" The room went silent except for the sound of a serving-man as he finished pouring a glass of champagne for one of the guests. "We all know why we are here this evening, I'm sure," he began. "We gather here to celebrate when Frenetic Studios Children's Division signs a new actor, but this evening we haven't signed a new actor. We have signed Trevor Hawkinson!" He gestured to me, the party guests applauded, and I suddenly became very nervous. I tried to smooth down my hair, but I needed a hairbrush. "Trevor is brand new to our business, the business of sharing love and happiness, and let me assure you, he is mightily skilled at both." More applause. "He is a true natural, and I mean that most literally. He comes to us from a very humble beginning. His heart is full of love and joy, but Randy, Virgil, and Markus, who visited his home and family today, have sadly reported that these gifts were not exactly nurtured in that environment. He came by them on his own, naturally.

"The pornography trade is, by its barest definition, about selling pictures and videos of people having sex. For most production houses, that is what they create, and it is all they create. Most of them use only one camera, and sometimes that is just a cell phone. However, anyone who has worked with Frenetic knows that our product goes far beyond such shambled assembly line approaches. We seek actors who exude love and happiness. Look at this boy... come here Trevor."

Nervously, very nervously, I walked to Mr. Eastman. With a strength I didn't imagine he possessed, he lifted me and placed me atop the piano. "Stand up, would you boy? I want everyone to have a good look at you." I obeyed.

"Just look at this boy," he continued. And they did. I was also looking at them, and every eye in the room was pointed at me. There was a collective call of ooh's and ahh's, and I felt myself get yet another boner from all of the people looking at me naked on top of that piano. "Look at that!" cried Mr. Eastman, pointing at my stiffie. "He cannot help it! What gives him pleasure is sharing himself with others! Look into his eyes, and he will give you joy! Listen to his voice and he will bring warmth to your heart. See him make love and you will visit the very height of ecstasy!" Even more applause. I had just orgasmed a half-hour ago from Sebastian's blowjob, but I wanted to touch myself. All of those people looking at me, and I wasn't really sure how they felt, but it seemed to be something pretty good, and I guess I was giving that feeling to them. It was so hot! I stood tall and proud, my cock also standing tall.

"We don't get very many boys who so deeply love to share themselves with others like this. Yes, we have auditioned many who have this fantasy, but when it comes to their work onscreen, they seem to read their lines and go through the motions." That was it. I decided I was going to do it. I reached down and lightly rubbed my cock with my open hand. "You see?" cried Mr. Eastman, and of course the crowd cheered again. "Look how you make him feel? He feels your love. He does not ask for it, and I do not think he expects it, but he gives you so much in return. I think the most remarkable fact of all is that Trevor here does not understand what I'm talking about, do you, my boy?" I slowly shook my head, beginning to feel a little nervous again.

"Trevor, you will fully realize, and I hope it happens soon, exactly why you are so loved here at Frenetic Children's Division, and exactly what you give to people with your work here. Maybe not today, but it will come to you. With that knowledge, everyone here knows that you will put forward the best, most expressive performances anyone has seen in the history of child pornography, and let me tell you that history is a long one." Loud applause. "It seems rather crass to talk about sales expectations at a time like this, so I will not. I think you all know the kinds of things I would bore you with anyway. Instead, I would ask for what you all really want, and be gentle, because I am springing this on him as it were without any opportunity to prepare." He turned to me. "Trevor, would you please say a few words to these kind people?" PANIC! "Don't worry about being eloquent, dear boy. They are all your friends. Just tell your friends about yourself and why you have chosen to work with Frenetic. Will you do us that great honor?"

I let go of my limp cock and began to fidget. This wasn't fair! I'm standing naked on a piano in front of about a hundred people (it was less than that, but it felt like much more), and he wants me to give a speech!

Boris, Sebastian, and Robbie, my three favorite boys in the whole world (I still thought of Annie as a girl then, even though I knew he was really a boy who just liked to be pretty), moved to the front of the crowd and smiled at me. They might never know how much that helped. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and began.

"Hi, er, I'm, my name is Trevor." I looked down at Boris' beautiful smile and said, "Hawk... Boy, I mean Trevor Hawkinson." Boris clapped his hands because he knew what I was thinking. Soon the rest of the crowd joined in. "Well, I guess people sometimes choose fake names in this work, and maybe I should be Hawk Boy or something." A chuckle went through the crowd. "Or maybe Boy Hawk. I dunno. Um, I guess I'm supposed to tell you about me. Er... I'm eight, almost nine, and I live in London. I'm sorta angry with Mum right now because what she has always said about being naked isn't true. Same thing with sex. It just isn't true! I love it, and I love doing it in front of people, and with all sorts of people, and I don't feel all shameful and disgusting!" I was almost shouting now. "I feel beautiful, and I feel loved by everyone I've met so far!" I looked down at the three boys in front and I could feel my eyes doing precisely what I didn't want them to do. I kept looking down, hoping it would stop before I had to wipe something from my cheeks. But everyone was cheering and applauding loudly. At least that gave me a break to collect myself. I took another deep breath and looked back up. As I did, tears fell down on both cheeks. The applause and cheering suddenly got even louder, and I didn't know why. I rubbed my eyes, and the pianist handed me a tissue. I wiped my face with it and blew my nose. Suddenly a serving-man appeared in front of me, holding a tray up to me.

"Your tissue, Master Trevor," he said. I put the snotty wet tissue on the tray, stood upright, and cleared my throat. "I don't know why you lot like to cheer when you see a boy cry like that. I suppose there are loads of things I haven't learned yet. But I have learned loads from everyone at the studio. And not just about working in child porn either. The kids there have shown me that it's ok to trust each other and that meeting strangers is really easy. At school I always had to be careful when I met someone new. It's really hard to understand why you lot are all so nice to me without even knowing me.

"Everybody seems to like it when I get a stiffie, but right now I feel a bit scared, and a bit serious. Mr. Eastman, well, I don't know who he was talking about a minute ago, but it didn't sound like me. I'm a poor boy from London. I'm nobody special. I don't feel special anyway. Well, I never have felt special, but you all treat me like I am. Mr. Eastman says someday I'll understand. Well, maybe he's right. All I know today is that I've got a really cute ass!" I turned around and shook my ass for the tumultuous crowd. When I turned back to face them, I felt another stiffie rise. I reached down and stroked it slowly to see if they liked it. Oh yes, they liked it. I wasn't about to wank and have a boygasm while I was standing on this piano. I might fall and break my neck. But I felt an incredible rush as the crowd responded to everything I did! I turned around again and bent over, spreading my ass cheeks, then waving to them between my legs. Wow. They were crazy!

I turned to face the cheering crowd again. They wouldn't stop. If you want to know the truth, it was getting a little unnerving, because I had one more important thing I wanted to say. I looked at Mr. Eastman, hoping he would know what to do. He held up both of his hands, waving to the crowd, and said "please" a bunch of times, so I did the same. They eventually settled down.

"Thanks," I said. "I just wanted to tell you one more thing. These three boys here in front," I pointed to Boris, Sebastian, and Robbie, "I have nothing that they don't have. I'm serious. They can prance about up here and wank like a silly prat too. If I have so much love in my heart, they each have twice as much as I've got! I've only known Boris and Sebastian for two days, and I just met Robbie today, and I know that whatever I've got, they've got it too!"

"Because no use condoms!" shouted Boris. The room erupted with laughter, but I didn't get it.

When the laughter died down, I said, "Anyway, I guess that's what I have to say about me. If you don't mind, I want to get down from here now and get some kisses from my friends! I love you all!"

I crouched down and jumped to the floor. The three boys surrounded me, all kissing me furiously. Not passionate, sexy kisses, but happy kisses. When I eventually looked up, it seemed the whole crowd was trying to get to me! I held onto the boys tightly. I wanted to be with them. I knew the strangers were all lovely people, but I wasn't ready! I didn't want to be trampled! "Help!" I whimpered to the boys. "What do I do?"

"What you do? You kiss me, silly Trevor Boy," said Sebastian. And I did.

Randy, Mr. Eastman, and a few of the serving-men eventually got the crowd settled. Mr. Eastman reminded them that I was still a very young boy, and that there were better ways for them to show me their love, and maybe better times to introduce themselves. I was very grateful. When everything was calm, Randy brought me a full glass of champagne and said, "Here. You could probably use this right now. Drink it right down if you like. You've earned it." I was shocked to see him suddenly choke up. He gathered himself and used his handkerchief to wipe everything dry. Then he said, "You are so beautiful, Trevor! You don't believe me or anyone else when we say that, but this event is being recorded. Your speech was just recorded, and some day, maybe a few years from now, I will play the video for you. Then you will have to understand why everybody loves you so much!"

I couldn't seem to get away from that kind of talk. I looked at the boys and rolled my eyes, but they all just smiled at me. I drank my champagne down in one. The pianist resumed her playing, but this music was energetic, and it made me want to dance. "Oh! America Rag music!" said Boris with a smile. "Love rag music time! Yay for Scott Joplin rag! Is very nice! We dance boys?"


We stayed by the piano for the rest of the night dancing. Sebastian and I snuck up on Robbie at one point and pulled his shorts and undies down. He just stepped out of them and danced with a naked bottom. Most of the adults joined us at one time or another, but they kept their distance. They were doing that to be nice, but I actually wanted to meet some of them, so I danced over and chatted them up. I got loads of kisses that way. A lot of them were actors in the Adult Division. They wished me well, and some of them said they'd love to work with me some time soon, and others told me they'd love to have me fluff for them if I had free time. It seemed a common practice for adults to cross over and work in the Children's Division, and a less-common practice for kids to fluff in the Adult Division. Most of them assured me that I would always have work in the Adult Division when I grew up. But I loved the Children's Division so much! I wanted to work there forever! I loved boys, even boys who were a lot older than me. I wanted to work with boys forever, but I would grow up and learn new things. Maybe when I became a man, I would like men. In fact, I already liked men, but I loved boys. It was also getting late, and I drank as much champagne as Benton allowed. I really felt it in my head when I drank that whole glass after my speech. Today I know that things that sound great when I've been drinking don't always sound great the next day.

As we were leaving, Mr. Eastman presented me with my Cockerel Manor suit, which was actually a small garment bag containing three identical suits, and a separate bag with three pairs of matching shoes and caps with the Cockerel Manor crest on the front. Benton handed me a cloth bag with handles. Inside the bag were my cleaned and neatly folded clothes from the limo, and the £200 from my shorts pocket was folded and placed inside a money clip that looked like it was made of gold. It was engraved with my name. There was some sort of receipt clipped in with the money. It showed my name (as Master Trevor Hawkinson), the amount of money, and a whole bunch of initials on it. "Wow," I muttered. "You'll soon get used to little perks like that, Trevor," said Randy. "Let's get home." Sebastian and I decided not to get dressed, but Boris put his black satin shorts and his black t- shirt on before the four of us climbed into the back of a Rolls. The driver put the small garment bag with my suits in the trunk, along with our laundry bags.

When we got home, or rather, to Randy's house, Randy retrieved my money from the car safe. It had been transferred there by Mr. Eastman's staff. The driver walked us to the door, carrying our bags. I turned to him and kissed him on the lips because I wanted one last memory of my first signing party. He smiled and tugged my cock, saying "how can you not know that you are so fucking lovely?"


The three of us boys climbed into the king size bed in the guest room at Randy's house. Boris, the Boy in Black, was once again naked, of course. Randy told us we could sleep as long as we liked the next morning as he headed to his bedroom. He stopped short and asked, "Does anyone fancy a good ass fuck? You boys got me really horny at the party, and it would be a shame to wank alone when there are three incredibly beautiful, naked boys here tonight!"

Boris and I both grinned at Sebastian, who was smiling brightly. "Yes, Randy Man please!" he said as he got up. He scurried off down the hall yelling, "I want your big fuck in my ass please!" Boris and I giggled as we heard Sebastian howling. Boris and I kissed and stroked each other's cocks. I could not believe how much had happened in that one day. We both fell asleep with our cocks in each other's hands and our lips barely touching. Love is so beautiful!

Chapter 12
Morning Wood

Trevor and the Russian boys get ready for a light workday at the studio. The morning is playful, but eventually it's time to go to work.

Tuesday, July 17

Boris and I woke up the way all boys wish they could wake up every day. Our alarm clock was a blowjob. Randy did Boris, and Sebastian woke me. That boy is always smiling, and when he smiles, it's impossible not to feel happy. What a way to wake up!

We didn't get a happy ending to our alarm call, and that was ok. I was still a bit sore from yesterday. "What time is it?" I asked Randy.

"It's half past ten," he replied. "Call is at noon, so we need to think about breakfast. How do you feel this morning Trevor? Do you feel sick at all from the champagne?"

"No, I feel fine," and it was true. I think Randy had done a good job keeping me at a proper pace. I felt really good from the champagne, but I bet if he'd have let me have much more I'd have gotten sick.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. Mr. Eastman only serves the highest quality." Boris put his hand on his forehead and let out a soft moan. "Is very good champagne. Easy to drink much. Too much some time. Love go to celebrate for Mr. Eastman house!"

"You should know better, Boris," said Randy. "You've been to a lot of parties at Cockerel Manor. You know how to pace yourself with champagne."

"Yes, but was special day. Much fun in car, drink some, pour some on Trevor Boy, drink more, pour more on Trevor Boy. Easy for forget how much. Is ok. Trevor Boy happy I think." He turned to smile at me, and I gave him a loving kiss. "Was very good party, no?"

I smiled and nodded at him, and when I did, I felt a little wave of dizziness. "Wow, what was... Randy, when people get sick from drinking alcohol, do they feel dizzy the next day?"

"Oh yes," he said with a grin. "Maybe you're not so steady after all? We'll get you some breakfast, and I'll show you my hangover cure for boys. If you think you might get sick before you eat, you know where the toilet is."

I didn't feel sick at all, just a little dizzy when I turned my head too fast. Randy's hangover cure for boys was half orange juice and half fizzy water. Breakfast was a lovely fry-up with beans on toast. Randy used iron pans that made everything taste wonderful.

Before I left the table I was feeling right as rain. Randy told me later that he was a little nervous because I was due on the set for my first scene as a Frenetic boy with a real contract. He wanted to make sure we made a good impression.

I wanted to wear something fun to the studio, and Sebastian had loads of clothes. So did Boris, but his were too big for me. Well, so were Sebastian's, but they were close. He helped me choose a beautiful, sexy outfit after breakfast and a shower. (None of us had worn anything for breakfast, not even Randy.) I had told him last night many times how sexy his thin satin shorts were, and he let me choose from five different colors. I wore the bright white ones with black stripes. I didn't want to wear undies with those shorts, so I brought along a sexy green satin pair of bikini undies that Sebastian recommended because I wanted to be part of the underpants game at tea. Nobody would guess they were mine! I looked around Sebastian's huge closet, and a white satin jacket caught my eye. He said it was a girls jacket, but that just meant it was shorter than a boys jacket. We decided that if I wore it open it would look super-sexy without a shirt.

For my feet, Sebastian got excited and told me he had just the thing. (He was always excited.) He rummaged around the floor of his closet and found a pair of long white socks with black stripes around the tops. They didn't have a heel in them, so I didn't know which way was supposed to go up. He said, "Silly Trevor Boy, these called tube sock. No matter which side go for up. Pull all way up at knee. Look very sexy on boy with small shorts. Make people wonder what looks like rest of leg. Very old is tube sock." I loved wearing Sebastian's sexy clothes, and I was the opposite of the Boy in Black.

Boris was wearing black jeans, black shoes, black socks, and a black t-shirt. I even watched him pull on a pair of black undies. How interesting. Sebastian said he never wore jeans in the summer because it was too hot, so he wore what looked like an old pair of leather shorts that were once black before some of the color got cracked and peeled off of them. They looked very tight on him, and of course they were very short. He decided he wanted to wear something open on top, so he wore a bright yellow button-up long sleeved shirt that he tucked into the shorts but left open at the front. On his feet he wore black sandals and a gold chain around his left ankle. He put another gold chain around his neck, and a very thin gold belt around his shorts. It was far too thin to hold anything up, but it was cute. He topped things off with a bright yellow cowboy hat. He was stunning! I'm not sure he was stunning in a way that was completely good, but he was certainly stunning, and there was no mistaking who he was. Sebastian was a flamboyant boy, and I think his self-confidence was a big part of what made him so bloody sexy.

I was surprised to see him finish his ensemble with a pair of gold wire-rim eyeglasses. "I didn't know you wore glasses," I said.

"Usually not wearing them. Sometime only. For school must always wear them, and for read lines. Don't like them, but better than contact lens. Hurt eyes. Glasses not hurt eyes, but go down nose and bother ear."

"They look really cute on you," I said, feeling a sudden nervousness because I had not even thought about studying my lines for the scene that afternoon.

"Oh Trevor Boy, you being sweetie boy again," he said just before he kissed me. "I wear for you, ok Trevor Boy? When with you, wear glasses. Sometime. Not all time." He always had the most joyful smile! But I wasn't trying to be a sweetie boy or anything. I thought they looked really nice on him. Gold glasses and blond hair look good together.

I put my money clip in an inside pocket in the jacket. It really was short, which surprised me because Sebastian was taller than I was. "That for they see your pretty waist and sexy belly," he told me. "Always short for when I wear. Look very good for you."

I thought I might ask Randy if we could go shopping for some clothes for me. My clothes were boring and ordinary, but Sebastian's clothes were fun!


We gathered in the sitting room when we were all dressed, and Randy handed scripts to Sebastian and me. They were very thin, perhaps four or five pages each, and that included the page with just the title. "These are just scene scripts," he told me. "Yesterday they had to give you the full script for the whole movie because that's all they had. These have everything you need for the scenes you're doing today. You can see it's not much. In porn we don't talk as much as in other movies."

"Much busy for fucking," said Boris, not looking up from a game he was playing on his iPhone.

"Well, yes, that's pretty much it, I mean, people don't buy our movies because of the gripping drama and subtle character development," Randy explained. "They want to see you having great sex that they wish they could have with you. But as you know, at Frenetic, we give them much more. Most porn production houses don't even have scripts for actors. We know that nobody really wants to watch porn. They want to be with you boys, fucking you, playing with you, and feeling your love. We give them as much of that experience as we can. That's why we do so much work in the productions, like using eight cameras instead of one, like making sure everybody feels love so they can show love to the viewers, like having actual scripts and dialog and even good acting! Trevor," he began...

"Hawk Boy," I heard myself say. "I'm Hawk Boy now. Boris gave me that name, and it was by accident, but I love Boris, and I love the name he gave me, Trevor Hawk Boy. Can I have that as my name in the movies? I mean Hawk Boy?" I didn't know why I had said this to him at that exact time. I certainly hadn't planned on talking about it yet, but I had been thinking about it. I thought the name sounded cool, and it told people I was a boy... a boy hawk maybe?

I was surprised I had said this, but Randy looked more surprised. "Well, er, Hawk Boy, I'm not sure what to say yet. You know most of the actors don't use their real names, so this was going to come up eventually. Hawk Boy, you say?" I nodded. "Or was it Trevor Hawk Boy?"

"Er, I'm not sure. Everybody knows I'm Trevor, but Hawk Boy sounds cool, doesn't it?"

"Well, the important thing to think about is how you look on the screen, what kind of personality you show the audiences," he said. "It's important that your working name be something that people can identify with who you are. Think about it. If you bought a porn film to watch at home, or online, and you read that someone named King Khan was going to be in it, would you expect an eight year-old boy? No, you'd probably expect a big, aggressive man with a big cock, possibly of a race other than Caucasian." I nodded. I hadn't thought about that. "I tell you what. I'll have a talk with Mr. Eastman this afternoon. I'll tell him your idea and see what he thinks of it. He might have some different suggestions for you, but it's important for him to know what you want. I rather like Hawk Boy, come to think of it," he said, stroking his chin. "It sounds a bit Native American though, don't you think?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know much about America, and people had told me that a lot of movies and telly programs were stupid because they showed Native Americans as dumb people who lived in stupid ways. Maybe I could help them by using a Native American name? Or maybe that would be bad because people who thought Native Americans were stupid might have thought I was stupid too. Racism was so stupid in so many complicated ways if a white English boy could be thought of as stupid for being Native American.

"Give it some thought, Hawk Boy. While you are here, you get to choose who you are. If you choose to be Hawk Boy, then that's what you'll be called here, right boys?"

"Right, is Hawk Boy," said Boris, while Sebastian nodded.

But that made it even more confusing! I liked it a lot when they called me Trevor Boy. I loved my new Russian friends, and I felt special whenever I heard either of them call me Trevor Boy. That was something only they called me. It was my way of knowing that I was their special friend and they were my special friends. Boris could tell I was confused, and maybe a little upset for some reason, so he came to me with a big Boris hug, and a kiss of course. He sat down beside me on the settee and said, "Is no matter. You are confusing for yourself?" I told them what I thought of their special name for me and how much it meant to me. They agreed they would continue to call me Trevor Boy, and they reminded me that my name at home did not have to be the same as my name at work. I asked Randy, "Is it ok if they just call me Hawk Boy in the movies? Or Boyhawk would be ok. Maybe Trevor Hawk?"

"Sure," said Randy. "You can have a name just to put on the films, but you will also have to use that name when you meet the public, so let's make it a good one, ok?" I nodded.

Randy had told me that kids from the studio sometimes go to film screening events when we make a really expensive movie, and that fans would be there wanting my autograph. He said some of the kids give talks to groups of people who are interested in the porn business. We always have to use our working names for those events. Choosing a name was very important.

"Ok, I'll talk it over with Mr. Eastman and we'll see what we can come up with."


For the next half hour we rehearsed our lines and read what sorts of things we were going to be doing for our scenes. I didn't have many lines in this scene either. Mostly I just had to be horrible to Adrian again while we spied on the same group of older kids. Then we would be discovered by the older kids, and they would have their way with us. They weren't going to make me fuck that French girl Claire, but I was going to be fucked by Jeanine. They switched that in the script yesterday, Randy said. He said it was because I was a brand new little who hadn't seen the medical specialist yet, and Malcolm had a really big cock. That meant they needed to have people fuck me only if they didn't have a huge cock. I was disappointed by that, and I told Randy.

"It's studio policy, Hawk Boy," he said. "They have to be careful. Their medical staff don't know you yet."

"But you know me really well, and you've even fucked me with your big willy. Yours is ten times as big as Malcolm's! And you saw me last night with Boris!" I hadn't meant to shout, and I was sorry. Randy was so nice, and I had no excuse for being angry with him. "I'm sorry for shouting, Randy. You've been so wonderful to me, and I think you have to do what the studio says, right?" It seemed that was the day for everyone to hug me and comfort me because I was becoming upset for silly reasons. Now it was Randy's turn.

"Hawk Boy, you're wrong and you're right. You're wrong because you don't have to apologize to me for feeling upset. I know you're excited about playing with big cocks and being fucked in front of the camera, and you must be disappointed to hear this. I understand. Remember when we were in the tree? I told you then. I know a lot about boys. Boys shout sometimes when they get upset. Your task is to see that it doesn't happen very often, and that you are careful with your words. You didn't say anything disrespectful to me. Thank you for that. And you're right, I have to do what the studio says, and so do you. We both have contracts that say so."

This new life was so different from my old life. I didn't know why I seemed to be crying so much, but I had another cry while Randy hugged me. When he saw that I was feeling better, he tickled me a little. Then he looked into my eyes, and I could feel his hand rubbing my ass through those sexy shorts. He was smiling, and so was I. "I tell you what," he said. "You like my cock because it's even bigger than Malcolm's, right? I'll give it to you tonight if you still want it."

That made me smile, and it made Sebastian look nervous. "Oh Sebastian," I said. "You have to Share Randy Man! His cock is beautiful!"

"No is that, Trevor Boy. Is studio needs no boy bottom who like huge cock. Have me already."

"Ooh! Sebastian!" I couldn't tell if he was kidding. The boy could act. He sure had Markus going last night with his two thousand pound fee for a blowjob. "No one could do what you do! And I really don't want to. I mean, bananas and three huge man cocks mashing them up in your ass? I think I'd pass out! No mate, your ass is special, and nobody can compete with it. Certainly not me. I just want a good fuck by someone with a big cock. Not a huge monster like one of those three men from yesterday. Just a nice big one, like Randy's, and only if he's gentle at first." Randy smiled and nodded.

"Thank you for much, Trevor Boy," said Sebastian. "All times boy come to studio, say he like many huge cocks for in his ass, then give gang bang movie for boy, and no movie for poor Sebastian. Then camera go on, men fuck in him, and boy cry when second, maybe third man try to go in for ass. Hurt for him too much. He not is bad, this boy. He want movie, Sebastian want movie. He want many big man cock, Sebastian want many big man cock. Is ok. No boy know first before men fuck him. Need try first, then know how hurt him. Happen all times. Scene is ruin, boy hurting very bad, maybe not come back for other movie, and Sebastian need fluff for day, lost acting money, lost kink bonus."

"So you're really a special boy at Frenetic?" I asked. "They keep telling me I'm special, but you can do things with your ass that I could never do." I didn't think I was cheering him up very well. "That must be horrible for you when that happens. I promise I'll never tell them I want a cricket bat in my ass, a gang bang with more than six men with huge cocks, or any fresh fruit up my ass at the same time I'm being fucked."

There it was! That magical, infectious Sebastian smile that always came with a hug and a kiss. "Randy Man," he said urgently, "look for time! Must go for studio or late!"

Chapter 13
Dressing Room 2

Sebastian had gotten into his costume for a gang bang scene with eight construction workers, but when I arrived at my dressing room, my St. Felix Academy costume with its embarrassingly short shorts was missing. Then the gayest man in all of Britain came to the rescue. His timing was just… great.

I sat with Sebastian in the back seat of Randy's Land Rover on the way to the studio. I told Boris it was because he was wearing long trousers, and I wanted to stare at Sebastian's bare legs. Really we needed to use the time to read through lines with each other. But it was also his legs. I had the thought that I was like Randy. I really liked boys' legs, especially their thighs, and their asses. Maybe I liked their legs because they were attached to their asses. Or maybe it was because it felt so good when people touched mine. It felt like a private area that no one had touched before Randy did in the tree. I don't really know why. Legs are just ordinary body parts. Why hadn't people touched mine before? Well, Ian had punched me just about everywhere, but why hadn't anyone touched me there in a nice way? And why weren't we allowed to show them in school? Preston Primary wouldn't allow boys to wear shorts to school, and a lot of us grumbled about it.

I had to stroke Sebastian's bare thighs a few times. It happened when I sat next to him and he looked all sexy. I had to touch him. I shouldn't have done that so often because then he got turned on and distracted, but that's exactly what happened to me when I just looked at him. Maybe after I fucked a few hundred really cute boys I'd get used to seeing them and start to control myself. But then Sebastian got all giggly and playful with me. I think we were distracting Randy. He said maybe we should just climb in the back for a good shag and have done with it. I knew right away when I took off my seat belt that he hadn't meant that seriously. He slowed the car down and said, "I was only joking, Hawk Boy. Please put your seat belt back on, there's a good lad." Sebastian and I had a proper giggle-fest anyway.

When we arrived in the studio car park, he told us both we really needed a good hard fuck. Hearing that gave me a rush, knowing that I really was going to get a good fuck soon. I could feel my cock swelling against the smooth satin shorts, which felt nice and made me even harder. I reached down front and propped my boner upright. I could feel the wind tickling my ribs as it blew through the too-small open jacket. I watched Sebastian get out of the car, and I hoped I looked half as sexy as he did. I certainly felt sexy. I reminded myself that I needed to ask Randy about shopping for sexy clothes of my own. Boris and Randy walked behind us across the car park to the entrance, with Boris whistling all the way and making comments about how sexy we were. We wiggled our asses and dropped our shorts a few times. My boner was not going away!


"Do you remember where your dressing room is, Trevor?" asked Randy as Sebastian and I checked in at the front desk. I was Trevor again. We were at work.

"I show him," said Sebastian as he took my arm. Boris' giggling behind us made me wonder if he thought we were a pair of right proper little queens. That thought made me happy. I'd never felt like a queen or a sissy boy, but I was trying everything. It was all brand new. Maybe I was a sissy queen? For the first time in my life I felt it was ok to even consider that question. For now I would be a queen with Sebastian. I should have worn pink. When we went shopping, I'd have to remember to buy something pink and queeny. "I make sure he find stage for scene. Trevor Boy scene is for stage two, no?"

"That's right," said Randy, "and your gang bang is stage five. Lots of lube, kid, and make sure to do your exercises before and after."

"Always do these, Randy Man," Sebastian said with a smile.

Poor Boris. He had to watch our cute, sexy asses strutting off to do work on-camera while he took the long walk to the fluff locker room, hoping one of the ladyboys would want his services. He wasn't even allowed to stay and watch the filming if he didn't have work to do. He couldn't use the bath hall either because he wasn't acting that day, but at least he could hang out in the tea room.

We walked through the reception area, then started down a long corridor, but the dressing rooms were on the left side of the corridor. Mine was the seventh door, right near the lobby. It had the same "Trevor Hawk" name card that had been there the day before. I could have remembered where it was myself. It made me wonder, though, if Mr. Eastman had already decided my working name would be Trevor Hawk. I thought it was because there wasn't enough room to spell out my full name, but maybe I was wrong? "Ok Trevor Boy, meet you here this spot after twenty minutes. Is good? Then go for stage 2."

"Ok," I said, leaning with my back against my dressing room door, grinning at him, with my borrowed white shorts making me feel like Sebastian was already giving me a hand job. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him passionately. I know we made sloppy noises as we drenched each other's faces with kisses. We got several encouraging looks from passersby. I lifted my right leg, wrapped it around his smooth thighs, and held him close. We pressed our boners into each other. Neither of us had to worry about cumming right before shooting a scene because we were both still dry. We could still fake it like the women did. I felt his hand reach inside my shorts and take my cock, holding it gently.

He pulled his head back and said, "You know, Trevor Boy, is not rules that we do this play one hour before shooting start. Must have wait. Director like energy for horny boy. When boy horny and not pretend, make better for movie. Is rules. So sorry Trevor Boy." He kissed me sweetly, but he did not take his hand off of my cock. He looked at his hand. Then he looked at me and giggled. "Not want hand back Trevor Boy! Is not easy! You help for me, ok?"

I smiled and said, "ok!" I leaned back in and kissed him softly, gently, and then I pinched him on the back of his thigh, a trick I learned from my brother Ian, only he never did it playfully. Sebastian pulled his hand back so fast I was worried he'd pulled the skin right off my cock.

"AIIEE!" he cried. He jumped back and said, "Trevor Boy very, very naughty!" He kissed me again and said "Loves for Trevor Boy so much. Now is fifteen minutes."

"I love you too, sweet Sebastian!" I had never called anybody that before. I knew I had a lot to learn about love, and I was trying my best.


I was greeted by a fabulous sight as I entered my dressing room. There were flower arrangements and gift bags everywhere, with cards congratulating me. Most were from the bigshots at the party last night, some were from the adult actors I met, two gifts were from the directors I had worked with, and the kids had bought me a bunch of stuff too. Over at the makeup table there was another bucket with a bunch of root beer on ice, and one half-sized bottle of champagne with a card from Randy that just said "Slowly." I didn't know what to do! I felt like having some more of those tears of joy, but then I remembered that I had a tight schedule. I needed to change into my costume and meet Sebastian in twelve minutes. I didn't have any time for opening gifts or drinking more champagne.

Another look around my room showed that my costume was not there. Was I supposed to go somewhere and get it? I didn't know, but I needed to find out quickly. I thought it was supposed to be hanging on the clothes rack by the door, but there was only a dressing gown there, which seemed an odd thing to have in a porn dressing room, and a pair of slippers.

I sat down at my makeup table and tossed the green satin bikini undies on the tabletop. I had to think. Then I noticed the phone, and I remembered that I was supposed to dial 222 if I needed anything. Well, I needed a costume, so I picked up the handset and dialed. "Dressing room services, how may I help you, Mr. Hawk?"

"Er, hi. I'm in my dressing room here now," I said nervously. "I don't seem to have a costume here though. Can you tell me, am I supposed to have a costume here? Or do I need to go get it from somewhere? I'm supposed to be getting ready for my scene."

"Oh yes, Mr. Hawk, that does seem to be a problem," said the woman's voice. "If it's not already in your dressing room, that usually means that you will not be needing a costume for your scene. Are you certain that your scene requires you to wear a costume?"

"I definitely start out wearing clothes. It says so in the script," I told her. "It's a school uniform with a jacket and very short trousers. I don't wear it very long, mind you, but they had one for me yesterday."

"Oh yes Sir, Mr. Hawk, I see you are in Studio two working on the set of St. Felix Academy, and you require the boys school uniform, is that correct? The boys uniform?" she asked. I told her it was, and she said, "Ok, thank you Sir. In that film we have a few boys wearing the girls uniforms, so I wanted to be sure. I will call your stage manager Judine and find out what has happened to your costume and then call you back. I'm very sorry for the delay. We'll get straight to the bottom of this, Sir."

"Um, thank you," I said as I hung up the phone. She kept calling me Sir. That sounded really weird. But she didn't sound nervous about my costume, so I decided I wouldn't be either. I opened a root beer and turned on the TV. I pressed several buttons on the remote until I found a football match between two clubs in Ghana. I looked over the pile of gifts, wondering what they contained. Was I supposed to wait before opening them? Did Randy intend for me to drink the champagne before shooting the scene? I needed Benton! I needed someone who could tell me what I was supposed to be doing without making me feel stupid. Benton had to tell me I needed to slow down my drinking at the party the night before, but he was really nice about it, and he made it seem ok.


"Hello Mr. Hawk. This is Dressing Room Services calling you back, Sir" said the voice on the phone. "I'm afraid there's been a mix-up concerning your costume. Judine said there was some disorganization at the last minute getting you fitted yesterday, and that resulted in your costume being mislabeled and returned to the costume shop instead of being sent to your dressing room after it was cleaned. She asked that I convey Nellie's apologies, and that I let you know she will contact you directly when she has your costume together again. In the meantime, Judine suggests that you relax and enjoy the amenities available in your dressing room or in the bath hall. She does ask, however, that you avoid getting your hair wet at this point, as it could delay things having it blow-dried. Will this be satisfactory, Sir?"

"Er, yeah, that's fine. I'll just wait here and watch the footie then. Thanks." I opened the back door to my dressing room to take a peek at the bath hall. There were two men snogging on a bench, a girl trying to fit two cocks in her mouth down by the pool, and, I would not have believed it if I hadn't seen it, a boy with his hand in all the way up to his elbow inside a woman's pussy! He was a small boy, smaller than me, so his arm wasn't very big, but still I thought it was pretty brave of the lad. One day I would find out what was up there inside a girl's pussy. Maybe Amber would show me?

I heard a knock at the door to the corridor, and a voice called out, "Thirty minutes, Mr. Hawk, thirty minutes."

"Um, thanks," I called back. "Does that mean I need to do something? Only I'm not ready yet,"

I opened the door, and there was a man wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard standing in front of me. "Oh no, Mr. Hawk," he said. "It's just to let you know how much time you have before you begin filming."

"Oh, ok. Thanks," I said as he continued down the corridor, knocking on other dressing room doors.

I went back to my football match. Ghana has some really good football clubs, but that's not who were playing. Either of these clubs could have been beaten by our team from Preston Primary.

There was another knock at my door. It was Sebastian, dressed again in short shorts, this time denim cut-offs, black high-top canvas trainers with no socks, and a dull blue t-shirt. He was not wearing his glasses.

"Trevor Boy! This fifteen minutes pass already since kiss. Pass time for us meet here. Must not be late! Why still wearing sexy white clothes and not costume?" I explained to him about the mix-up, and he seemed to calm down. Everyone was so concerned for me! He grabbed the green satin undies and knelt in front of me. "Here Trevor Boy. Should start. No need for wait to undress." He rubbed my bare legs, drinking in the look he loved on boys, short shorts and tube socks. I wondered if he had a fetish for these socks. He certainly had a lot of them in his closet. He looked up and grinned at me as he lowered the white satin shorts. "No Trevor Boy. Is not time right before shoot scene!" I couldn't help it! I loved the feel of Sebastian's satin shorts on my cock, and his face was right in front of it. Of course I had a stiffy. I grinned back at him and took off the jacket, and we both knew he was going to do it anyway, so he just started attacking my cock with his mouth. We both felt we needed this urgently. We couldn't wait till we got to the set. I was lost in moaning, and Sebastian sounded like a starving man who had just stumbled upon a Christmas turkey. Then there was yet another knock at my door.

I called for the person to come in, and Sebastian didn't stop. In rushed the very gayest man I had ever met. "Oh I'm so glad I caught you! I've been frantic for the last ten minutes. Maybe I should say I was frenetic?" He chuckled with a loud snort. "Oh please don't stop on my account boys. Do carry on. I just love you boys. You make the best pornography! Do you know why? Do ya? Huh? It's because you love it so much! I mean look at this little guy, sucking like crazy, not because it looks good but because he loves it, loves it, loves it! And because he wants to make you feel good. Doesn't that feel good hunny? Real good? Yeah, I bet it feels great because he looks like he knows what he's doing. And you boys have so much energy! It's like everything you do in your movies seems so fresh and new to you, like you're making discoveries, and you are all just full of surprises! And you're not afraid to smile when you've discovered something that feels good! Have you seen the men here? I mean, have you seen them? Have you? Hmm? They look bored or angry when they fuck. Bored or angry. That's all. You boys look happy! And playful! It makes me want to have sex with you so much! When I watch boy videos I just want to jump in the screen and tickle your little balls!

"So which one of you is Trevor?" I raised my hand, not feeling ready to speak yet because I was very near my boygasm. " I've heard so much about you, and it's so nice to meet you! And it's all true. You're just the perfect vision of boy loveliness, just lovely. And beautiful. Beautiful too. You have so much beauty! And gorgeous! Can I say you have so much gorge? Never mind that. And you are so very, very sexy! Oh I could eat you up!" The man was speaking so fast it was hard to follow him, but then I realized it didn't really matter. He didn't say anything important. "Oh sensational! Is this what you were wearing before... before..." He pointed to Sebastian and held up the white jacket and shorts. "Oh and you didn't wear a shirt underneath, and with tube socks? You must have been so sexy in this. Were you sexy? Was he sexy? Oh don't stop for me. Let me just get this on you." He put my school cap on my head. "Oh! Did I tell you? I didn't tell you, did I? My name is Chauncy, and I work in the costume shop here, and I get to see so many cute costumes for you littles, but I usually don't get to see you boys wearing them until the production is finished, and I have to watch the viedo at home and wank just like everybody else, but you are going to be such a sexy little cutie in this outfit. Now if I could just get your arm in here, good, now your other arm. We don't have to stop anything. You do have your own undies, right? You brought your own? Did you?" Sebastian held up the green satin undies without pausing, and Chauncy gasped in an overly dramatic way. "Oh my! Those are going to look so sexy on you! I just have to see them on you!"

I was starting to get frustrated because of Chauncy's rapid-fire nonsense. He carefully buttoned up my shirt from behind and turned up my collar so he could put my tie on. But his carrying on made Sebastian's amazing blowjob feel somehow less amazing. I think maybe Sebastian was feeling the same thing. It might have been just me, but he seemed to be putting less energy into it since Chauncy arrived.

"So have you ever been to Dingwall? St. Felix is in Dingwall, do you know where that is? Have you been there sweetie? It's in the highlands, near Inverness. Near Aberdeen. More near Inverness. Of course you know where Inverness is, don't you hun?" He said all this as he tied my necktie. "Don't stop what you're doing for me, but could you help out with the shoes, since you're down there? Could you untie them for me hun? That would be a real help. Trevor sweetie, if you could just kick those off. Now the socks, hun? Can you get those pulled down? Oh I bet he has soft skin on those legs. Does he have soft skin? Does he hun? Those long tube socks are good for taking off slowly, very very slowly, feel the leg going all the way down. It can be so sensual." He let out a sigh and resumed. "There, now doesn't that look just lovely, you little pumpkin!" He had just finished my tie and was straightening my collar. Next, he quickly put my jacket on and buttoned it. "You wanna do the socks and shoes first so he can keep going on your little blowjob? Do you sweetie?" He knelt on the floor behind me and had me hold tight to Sebastian's head to steady myself while he held my leg up to put on my sock with the school emblem, which he did very slowly, and with a lot of fuss and adjustment. "Oh his skin is so soft hun, don't you think?" While he had my leg lifted he put the shoe on as well. "Ok now, other leg, sweetie. You know these are wool socks. Wool socks are the best. They are so good in so many ways. Short trousers in schoolboy uniforms used to be made of wool. They were all wool. No fiber blends, just wool. These are just Polyester. These are cotton. They are a cotton poly blend. A bit cheaper, but they look so cute on-screen. They look so sexy. So cute and sexy. But you know what? You could wear the wool shorts in the coldest weather and not feel cold. Well of course you feel cold, but not very cold. I mean your knees would get cold, of course, but you've got such cute little knees! Oh how I wish I could do a scene with you! We should set that up. Do you think so? I've done a lot of work on-camera, and I think you'd love what I can do with your little bottom on-camera. Boys usually do. They do like the things I do with their bottoms."

The blowjob still felt nice, but nothing more than... just nice, and Sebastian certainly seemed to have lost some of the joy in giving me my blowjob with this annoying man's chattering away and interrupting him for help. "I'm so sorry sweetie, but it's shorts and undies time. Are you about to cum, sweetie? I can wait just a minute or two if you like so you can cum, but we should try to stay on schedule. You're not due on the set for another... seven minutes now. Should I wait for you to cum with your cute little cock? Do you what me to wait a minute sweetie? I bet you look super-cute and sexy when you cum. Do you look really super-cute when you cum, sweetie? I could help if you like, sweetie. I can help. I could kiss you or tickle your balls if that would help. Would that help, sweetie? Or I could lick your little hole, or stick a finger up your ass and play with your little prostate. Would that feel good, sweetie? Huh? Would that help you cum? Would you like that, sweetie? Should I help you cum?" Those felt like nasty suggestions to me.

And that was weird. He wasn't unattractive for a man. In all my fantasies, and in the massive amount of sex play I'd done over the past two days, all I was interested in was a person's body, not how much they talked or anything. Despite all the love I'd gotten from Randy and the boys in the past two days, it had never occurred to me that my feelings toward someone could change how I felt about having sex with them. I thought about this the rest of the day. What if I had to do a scene with someone who annoyed me? Would I be able to do it? Was there some rule about that at Frenetic?

I decided it was time to end Sebastian's blowjob and finish getting dressed for the scene. I gently pulled out of Sebastian's mouth. He stood up grinning at me, and to my great surprise, he gave Chauncy his lovely Sebastian smile and a kiss on the lips! "Nice for seeing you Chauncy Man," he said.

"Oh you're such a little sweetie!" said Chauncy, blushing at Sebastian.

Then Sebastian turned and kissed me very sweetly, taking his time. He handed the green satin bikini undies to Chauncy, who knelt in front of me and helped me, unnecessarily, to lift my leg and step into the right leg opening. He seemed to caress my leg as much as he could while still appearing to do his job. "Good, now the left one, Sweetie," he said, taking gentle hold of my left leg and repeating the process. He pulled them up, giving my limp cock a quick goodbye kiss. "Oh my! Oh my oh my oh my!" he said as he very carefully adjusted the undies. He lifted the bottom of my shirt above my belly and said, "hold that there for just a sec, would you please, Sweetie?" I didn't know why he wanted me to do that, but it was soon clear. He gasped heavily and ran his hands around my midriff, caressing my skin and the thin waistband of the undies, saying, "Oh my god you are so sexy in these! Can you see how sexy these look on you? Can you, sweetie? Look in the mirror. Your director is going to love you for this! He might want to shag you himself! I certainly do, but heavens we haven't got time for that." He inhaled deeply and let out a heavy sigh. "No time. That's so sad. Don't you think it's sad, hun?" he asked Sebastian, though he didn't leave time for a response. He ran his hand over my cock and said, "This satin is so luxurious! Does it make you want to have a stiffie just wearing them? Are you getting a stiffie, Sweetie? But we must press on! We are almost out of time. You have to be on the set fifteen minutes before your shoot is scheduled to begin, and it's nearly that now. It's good that you're on stage two. That's right, isn't it, Sweetie? Stage two? St. Felix Academy? Oh! Silly me! Of course it's St. Felix Academy! The cute uniform with the tiny little shorts, of course! And the debut film appearance of our new star! You!"

He repeated the touchy-feely process as he put my shorts on. Then he tucked my shirt in neatly before doing up the button and the zip. He looped the belt around my waist and said, "You probably want to do the buckle yourself so they're nice and comfortable, huh? Would you rather do the buckle yourself, Sweetie?" I didn't say anything, but I did up the buckle. He fussed over my costume a few seconds more, sparing no opportunity to touch my skin, my face, and mostly my bare legs. For the first time, this didn't turn me on.

He stood up, then bent over and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Bye Sweetie," he said as he turned to leave. "It was so nice meeting you! I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other!" The thought of that brought me very little joy.

Chapter 14

Before each scene, actors choose their FSP’s. Some, like Malcolm, have already chosen their FSP’s ahead of time, but many of us just like to see who’s available. The fluff area is a wild place before filming begins. I would do more fluff work if I wasn’t so busy all the time.

Sebastian and I slowly walked farther down the same corridor where our dressing rooms were. I wanted to talk to him about Chauncy, the irritating man from the wardrobe department. "Why were you in such a hurry to kiss Chauncy?" I asked. "You told him nice things too. Didn't you find him annoying?"

"Oh Trevor Boy must much learn still," he replied. "Chauncy very nice man. Have problem for talk too much, make hard for concentrate sometime on blowjob. Trevor Boy need remember love first. Talk too much make annoy, of course, but love most important. Have good heart, Chauncy. Also give excellent blow job and fuck. You find out one time. When cock in his mouth, not talk for too much. Do many scene with boy, also with man. But always love is first before annoy. Love first important always."

I felt a little embarrassed when he explained it to me. All I felt was annoyed, irritated, and frustrated, and I forgot the first and most important rule at Frenetic, to love everybody.

Soon we came to a door marked 'Stage 2' on the right side of that corridor, not even halfway to the end. We turned to each other to say goodbye, and it felt so strange seeing him in such boring clothes. Still, he had those bare sexy legs. "Bye bye Trevor Boy," he said. "Have good luck for scene today. Have in mind always energy, but most have love. And try for remember lines too, he said as he handed me my script, which I had forgotten in my dressing room. With another super-sweet Sebastian kiss, he left for stage 5, and I opened the door to stage 2.


"And here he is, in good time," said Randy as he kissed me in the doorway. "First things first. You need to select an FSP." He took my hand and walked me over to the fluff area, where several people of all shapes, ages, and sizes lined up, but Robbie wasn't there this time. Each of them wore a nice smile, and they all looked eager. "Word got round," said Randy, "that the incredibly sexy new boy was going to be in this scene, and everybody wants to fluff for you."

I was flattered, but I still didn't understand. I'd seen myself in the mirror at the party at Cockerel Manor the previous evening, and I thought I really did look sexy, but I wasn't any sexier than Robbie, Boris, or Sebastian. I was just regular sexy.

Then another face appeared in the crowd as he stood up. It was him! It was Annie! I dashed up to him and kissed him. It was a longer kiss than I'd expected, and before we'd finished, Randy said "Ok, I think that's settled. The rest of you can go now. There is still time to pick up work on some of the other stages, and remember, they also need a hand in the Adult Division. You kids really popular there."

"Fifteen minutes," I heard Judine call out. "That's fifteen minutes people."

All around the room I could hear various people calling out, "Fifteen minutes, thank you."

"You're an actor now, Trevor, and you are supposed to respond too. When the stage manager calls out how much time you have before they begin shooting, all actors and certain members of the crew are supposed to repeat 'fifteen minutes'. That way they know you heard them. It's also customary to add 'thank you.' No, it's not necessary now," he said as I turned my head to call out my response. "But you should get in the habit. The next call will be at five minutes, and the final call will be at places. If you are on the set early enough, they will also call thirty minutes."

"Oh, someone knocked at my dressing room to tell me that," I told him. Then I hesitated nervously and asked, "You really can be my FSP, right? I mean, you're not working for someone else, are you?"

"Yes, I can you gorgeous boy," he said with a smile that made me feel like I was melting. "You're the reason I came here." I had so many feelings when he said that, I wanted to cry and laugh and hug him and kiss him. I settled for another kiss. We found a couple of chairs and sat down. I could not believe how pretty he was, and he was completely naked for me except for the red key around his neck for his FSP locker. I didn't know if I ever would understand what attracted me so strongly to him.

"I did a scene this morning with a man and a girl," he said, "but I had nothing scheduled for the afternoon, so I came here."

"Was it fun, your scene?" I asked him.

"Oh yes it was fun. They are always fun! The man was a real sweetie, very gentle, and the girl was cute, but a little shy, which made her seem cuter," he said. "She’s still very new to child porn. I think confidence is sexy, very sexy, but when someone feels a bit shy about a scene, sometimes that makes it more thrilling, and kids our age, littles, always show their excitement brilliantly. She was only shy until we began. Then she was an animal! Teenagers and adults seem to act a little less excited when they do scenes, and they are almost never shy because they've usually been doing unusual scenes with unusual people for years."

"I think I know what you mean," I said. "You're not the first person who's told me about that. I guess right now I'm an excited little, and I think I was pretty shy yesterday, but then I felt better after we did a few takes. I hope I'll always have new things to try. I don't think I'll ever get bored. I can't imagine!"

He leaned over and kissed me. Then he stepped in front of me with a very seductive grin and asked, "So, is there anything your FSP can do for you before the scene gets started?"

I smiled at him and hugged him around his waist, groping his ass. "Is it ok if I say I love you, Annie?"

"Of course it is, silly boy! I love you too! Most people here tell each other they love them all the time, and the great thing about it is that they always mean it," he said. "You should know by now that love is the most important thing here."

"Well," I said unsteadily, "then, I love you Annie." I felt so scared when I told him that. I really loved Robbie, and especially Boris and Sebastian, but when I thought about loving Annie, it was different. Those three boys were so sweet, they made me feel very happy, and after only two days I couldn't imagine life without them. They'd all helped me so much, and they'd always tried to make me as happy as I could be. I tried to make them happy too because it was really important to me. When Sebastian told me about all the work he had lost because new boys said they could do extreme bottoming but really they couldn't, it made me sad. I think all those things meant that I loved them.

But Annie was different. I wanted to be with him so much it hurt. Even when I was with him sometimes, when I wasn't busy feeling like I was in heaven, it hurt because I felt such strong feelings for him that I didn't think I could stand it if something happened and I couldn't see him anymore, or even for a little while. It was very painful just having a simple thought like that. I felt all of the same feelings for him that I felt for the boys, but I also felt these much stronger feelings for him. He was so sweet and impossibly pretty. His voice was like a beautiful song. His skin was softer than chinchilla fur. His eyes were like oil paintings, and I got lost in them. His hair was… like it was messy, but in a way that looked really cute, and it was very soft. Most of all, he was really a boy. He just liked to play dress-up, so I liked that. He liked football and everything. He told me about a trick in football called an offside trap. I didn't really understand it, even though I really liked football, but it reminded that he was real a boy.

"Annie, should I call you a her or a him?" I asked nervously, looking up at him. "I mean, I know you're a boy, right?" I gave his willy a quick tug. "But what should I call you?" "Oh thanks for asking, you sweet boy!" he said as his willy stood up to thank me for the attention. He gave me a big sloppy kiss. "Nobody ever asks me that. I said yesterday that I was a boy, and I like to be pretty. I like to be called him, all the boy words, but it's ok if people call me her, and you can call me anything you like, you sweet bundle of love! And I do love you sweetie, really I do!"

I blushed as he drenched me in another round of wet kisses. When he finished, he wiped my face dry with one of his hand towels. "So, if you're a boy, why are you called Annie? I mean, that's not your real name, is it?

"No, that's my working name, and it's become the name I use all the time now. I was named Angus when I was born. My parents are lovely people, and they love me a lot, but they chose a name for me that never seemed to suit me very well. I like boy names like Devon and Kevin and… and Trevor," he said softly. I felt tingly at the sound of my name being spoken like that. "Your name sounds soft and lovely when you say it out loud. Angus sounds harsh, like something you'd shout over the garden fence when your neighbor has the music up too loud."

"I think Angus is a lovely name because it means you," I said. He blushed, but I carried on, "But Randy says everybody should be able to choose who they are, and you choose to be Annie, and you're a boy. You are the loveliest boy I've ever met too." I hugged him around the waist and made a farting sound on his belly.


"Five minutes, thank you," I called to Judine as Adrian approached.

"You'd better get to work, Trevor," said Annie after kissing me one last time before turning to go to the fluff area. "You know where to find me, luv."

"She's a pretty bird," said Adrian. "I asked her to fluff for me, but she said she was waiting for you. I think she fancies you, mate."

"Yeah," I said, not wanting to tell him anything about my feelings for Annie. "I think you should know he's a boy, not a tranny girl, and he likes to be called him," I told Adrian.

"Blimey Trevor, I can't keep these trannies straight. Most of them want to be called girls because that's who they feel they are, so I just call them that until I'm told different. She never said anything to me before." I lowered my head slightly and gazed at him until he corrected himself, "Er, right, he never said anything about it before."

"He says it's ok if people say 'her', only he'd rather be called a him," I clarified. "I think he understands about the tranny girls, and of course it's proper to call them girls always. I think that's why he never says anything when someone gets it wrong with him. What it is, he really is a boy, but he likes to play dress-up. Sort of. He told me that girls have all the nice clothes and things to make them pretty, and he likes to be pretty."

"That's a lot to remember Trev," said Adrian. "By the way, what's this I hear about a new working name for you?"

I smiled as I told him about how Boris got confused with my name. "So I told Randy I wanted to be called Hawk Boy. Do you like it?"

Adrian wrinkled his forehead as he thought about it. "I dunno mate. It's not like a proper name, but it's not like a porn name either. It sounds like you're a superhero or something. Do you want to act like you're saving people and all that in your work?"

"I dunno. Maybe Trevor Boyhawk or Trevor Hawk would be better," I said. "That's what's written on my dressing room door, Trevor Hawk, and I think Randy prefers it."

"I think Trevor Hawk sounds cool. It makes you sound like you're sharp, like you're a bit wild, and very cool. You don't really need 'Boy' in your name because you're name is Trevor. That's already a boy name. Besides, you don't want to be called 'Boy' when you're grown up and working as an adult, do you?"

That gave me something more to think about. I wouldn't have a name that Boris gave me, but I would be sharp, wild, and cool – I liked the sound of that. And I thought hawks looked graceful and majestic when they flew. I liked that to. I wanted people to think of me as graceful and majestic. That's what I thought about Annie, graceful and majestic. Very, very graceful…

"Wardrobe and makeup, final checks please, wardrobe and makeup," called Judine. Diane, the creepy Asian wardrobe assistant, fussed over my clothes much more than was necessary. She said she needed to check the seams inside my shorts as she ran her hands up under the leg openings. I could hear her gasp when she felt my satin bikini undies.

She caressed me all around my undies, giving off soft moans, and said, "These sexy briefs might be a problem with the director. It's not standard for boarding school boys, but he has turned this into a pretty sexy boarding school."

"Oh no," I complained. "Do I have to change them?" I was looking forward to being extra sexy for the camera today.

"We'll see. He never likes to see the kids' undies before the shoot," she replied. "He loves the surprise, and he thinks it helps the actors to react spontaneously. And I do so want to see you in these," she moaned, rubbing over my cock, which was not becoming erect for her.

While Diane was busy with that, and I'm sure my face was squirming, Adrian raised his eyebrows asked me, "What have you got in there for me, mate? Sounds interesting." I gave him a wink as I tried to ignore Diane, who was still fussing unnecessarily over my clothes. "Are you ready for the scene?" he asked. "You're getting fucked by Jeanine I see."

"Yeah, I've gone over the script loads of times now." I told him how disappointed I felt to learn that I was originally supposed to be fucked by Malcolm and his big cock. He wasn't exactly sympathetic.

"Rules are rules, mate. You've got to see the specialist first," he reminded me unnecessarily. "But seriously Trevor, I'm sorry, and yeah, I love doing scenes with Malcolm. He's a sweetheart, but he's powerful. He'll give you a right proper rogering soon enough. You'll see."

"At least I don't have to slap you or choke you with your tie today," I sighed. He thought this was funny. He had a fit of the giggles that went on far too long.

"Trevor, I love you mate!" He kissed me without stopping his giggling first. "You really are a sweet boy. You want everyone to be happy and ok or whatever. But really, that's nothing. Can I show you what I mean?"

Was he going to slap me? Well, if he did, it's fair play after yesterday. I nodded, and he did slap me. It made a loud cracking sound too. I felt a sting, but it didn't seem to hurt very much really. I rubbed my cheek and looked at him curiously.

"Does your mum slap you when she gets a bit cross with you sometimes?" he asked me. "Loads of times," I said, adding several large nods. "And I hate it. It hurts!" "No it doesn't," he said with a grin. "Well, maybe a bit, but not very much." He took me to a makeup table in the studio and told me to sit in front of the mirror. "Look here," he said, pointing at my reflection. I could see a great red mark on my left cheek. "Did you know I slapped you hard enough to leave a mark like that?"

"Actually, no," I said. How did he do that? How did he make my face red without it hurting like when Mum slaps me, even when she doesn't make my face red?

"I'll tell you a trade secret. You need to remember two things," said Adrian. "When someone hits us in our face, it's personal. We feel it more because it's like we live in our face. Know what I mean? We react more strongly. Some of the hurt comes from what we expect to feel when we are hit in such a personal area. But you knew ahead of time when I slapped you just now. In a way, you invited me to come into your face and slap you, as a sort of experiment. You didn't have an automatic reaction." I nodded. I wasn't sure I believed him, but he was older, and he'd been doing this work for a long time. "That's the first thing. When you slap me during a scene, I've already invited you into my personal space to do it."

I thought about this as the gray haired Scotsman hurried over to dab some makeup onto my red cheek. "The second thing you need to remember is that no one's disappointed or upset or anything. I wasn't angry with you when I slapped you, and I'm not your mum. When your mum slaps your face, she is probably shouting because you've done something wrong. You've disappointed her, or you've failed at something – I don't know what gets your mum wound up. But I feel hurt when I know I've disappointed my mum, and sometimes I'm frightened because I'm sure some terrible punishment will follow. When you feel so many bad things already, and then your mum raises her hand to slap you, most of the hurt is already in your head. It's emotions, not your stinging cheek. It's all the things that your stinging cheek means, mate. Most of the hurt comes from the reason you've been slapped, not the actual slap itself. Do you see what I mean?"

I tilted my head and thought, which seemed to annoy the makeup man. "Look at it this way mate," he said to me. "I slapped you pretty hard just now. Do you feel like you want to cry?" I shook my head, which seemed to annoy the makeup man again. "You didn't cry at all, did you? You didn't even think about crying. That's because you were paying attention to how your skin felt, not all that other rot that goes with having your face slapped by your mum. What I just did to you is what a slap in the face really feels like, and I slapped you bloody hard too. But it's really not so bad, is it?"

"No, I guess it's not really bad at all. It stung, but that went away right away," I said with surprise.

"So, Trevor, would you do a scene that had me taking a slap at you?" he asked. "Sure I would," I replied. "Ok, then would you want me to give you a light pussy slap that would look stupid, or would you want me to do it properly?"

"Properly, of course," I said.

"And if I gave you a nice, sharp slap to the face, would you be angry with me? Would your feelings be hurt? Would you not want to be friends? Would you not want to work with me anymore?

"Of course not!" I said. And I understood. I could slap my own face quite hard, and it really didn't hurt. He was right. It's not what I feel on my cheek that really hurts.

"Great! You don't have to slap me today, but the script says you need to knock me about some. I think you know better now. I think you know not to hesitate, and not to do any of that pussy fag- boy shit. I think you know what it means to do it properly now."

He leaned over to kiss me. I had to turn in my chair to face him. "Look laddy," said the makeup man, "do you want your face to look lopsided in the scene? I'm almost done here. Can you let a man do his work?" I don't think he was in the mood for a couple of giggling boys just then.

"The school here is on summer holidays, but when we start lessons again, you will study S and S, that's Sex and Stagecraft. They teach things like this in those lessons, but since you started in the summer, you've had no S and S, and no acting lessons. They want me to help you with all that, like acting by the Method. I think you'll pick it up no problem. You seemed to learn really fast yesterday, but the bloody director had to keep pushing. Bloody combat in your first bloody scene, the prat!"


How much more new information could I take in? I knew they had a school in the studio complex, but I thought it was just for the kids in residence. I thought I'd be going back to Preston Primary. The idea of attending lessons at the studio seemed wonderful to me! I understood the kids here. They all seemed to be my friends, or they wanted to be my friends. I didn't really fancy going back to Preston. I never felt like I fit in there. I never understood why I couldn't just ask a boy to be my friend, and he could say yes or no. I could do that with boys when I was six, but no more. I could also do that with girls, and I had more friends who were girls than boys.

I don't think I ever understood what it meant to be a boy. Mum told me that boys act like my stupid brother Ian, and girls play with dolls, and they play mums and dads. (I think American kids call it playing house.) That wasn't very helpful, and it wasn't true either. I played dolls with some of my girl friends, and mums and dads (sometimes they let me be the mum if one of them wanted to be a dad), and I also liked to play football with the boys (I wasn't very good though), but after the game it seemed the other boys went their own way, punching each other on the shoulder and other stupid things to show how hard they were.

Why are boys supposed to be hard? I would rather have friends and be nice to them. I want them to be nice to me. I don't like boys who are hard. They are the bullies. They are the ones who think it's important to fight. They introduce themselves like this: "Oy! My name's Nigel, and you don't mess with me or you'll wish you were dead!" Who said I was going to mess with him? Why is it important that I know he would beat me to a bloody pulp if I messed with him? What does messing with someone even mean? And why would he think I was messing with him if I asked him these perfectly sensible questions? If that's what it means to be a boy, if it means I'm supposed to be an asshole and be mean to people instead of wanting to be nice to them, then no thanks. I'll be something else.

I think that's a large part of what attracted me to child porn. Everything was about love, and being close to each other. We kissed. We felt love. Being loving was what a boy had to do to be popular at Frenetic. Being a hard asshole was a sure way for a boy not to get his contract renewed. Everyone made sure that other people knew they loved them. Boys wanted to be kind and sweet. Even the men were that way. At the studio, I could ask someone to be my friend, and they would usually smile and say yes. They wouldn't tell me how hard they were, or that I’d better not mess with them. It was a safe and wonderful place for me to be Trevor, or Hawk Boy, or whatever, and nobody would have a problem with that. They didn't like boys who were hard, though they needed boys like Adrian and Malcolm who could act hard in their films.

Boris was another one of those boys. A few months after the events in this story, I fluffed for him during one scene where he played a bully, and I didn't do a very good job of it. It hurt to see such a sweet boy that I loved acting that way. It was too real, and he had to reassure me during fluff calls that he was acting. That's not how a fluff boy is supposed to act, but Boris would never complain about me, and he told me afterward many times that I was still his favorite fluff boy.

The girls are kissing while holding in their splits position as Malcolm tumbles in. I’m looking on from our position on the walkway above, and Adrian is tending to me. That’s Roy, the camera operator, on the right. You can see Diane from the wardrobe department and the Scottish makeup man to the right of the fluff staff. That’s our stage manager Judine and our director, Mr. Koolman, next to her with the weird hair and beard. We’re just getting started with scene 4a.

Chapter 15

In chapter 15, filming begins on Scene 4a of St. Felix Academy, and Trevor is excited! His costume has been located, his fluff service provider is Annie, his new boyfriend, sort of, and he and Adrian are in position. It's go time!

"Places everybody, we are at places for scene 4a please!" called Judine.

"Places, thank you," I responded, a call that was echoed around the set.

"FSP's to the fluff area, sound and lights final check, wardrobe and makeup clear the set, cameras ready, and quiet on the set please!"

For this scene, the set was done up as a gymnasium, with all sorts of gymnastics equipment. The older kids would be doing their action in the middle of the gym, but Adrian and I would be watching from a walkway above. Judine had warned us that we would be doing several takes of each part of this scene in order to get the best angles from the handheld cameras, the remote ceiling cameras, the crane camera, and the large studio cameras, one of which was again on rails, only this time the track was much longer. The main concern was that they couldn't have cameras in the shot, so they needed to clear several cameras from the set every time they wanted to film from a different angle. The girls, Claire and Jeanine, had even more work, or fun, depending on how you look at it. They had to do a few extra takes while Roy, the remote camera operator, filmed them from the walkway where we were watching. Then he needed to film them with Adrian and me watching, with Roy filming over our shoulders. I don't think the girls had any problems though.

"Ok, I want this to be lively people. Make me feel energetic and excited! This is a playful moment for Claire and Jeanine, all right?" Mr. Koolman, the director, always told us actors exactly what he wanted, and he helped quite a lot. Nobody wanted to disappoint him. "Boys," he said, turning to Adrian and me, "I want curiosity and wonder, then I want horny. And Trevor, remember, you need to be rough with Adrian. I want to feel that. Ad lib if you feel something. Ok, roll cameras… and… action!"

Claire and Jeanine bounded from one corner of the gym to the center, doing cartwheels, hand springs, and other really cool gymnastics things. They were wearing their St. Felix girls PE kits, only they were barefoot. In the story, Jeanine wasn't sure if she's really a girl who was born with the wrong parts, so the school is treating her as a girl for the year.

They both ended their tumbling by doing the splits, facing each other. They had some dialog that was hard to hear from where we were, mostly talking about boys and how happy they were to be friends, but they stayed in their splits for a long time. When the dialog was done, they slowly leaned in toward each other for a slow kiss. Well, it started out slow, but it became rather exciting in short order.

They removed each other's t-shirts, Claire's first. Her breasts were so small I couldn't really see them from our vantage, but I'd seen them the day before. They were quite small, only just developing. Then Jeanine's shirt came off slowly, revealing her complete lack of breasts. She was a proper tranny off-camera. She was a girl who was born with boy bits, so of course she had no breasts at all.

I was beginning to see why Boris liked trannies so much. I mean, they were boys, but not really. They were girly and feminine, but they had boys' bodies. I'm not just saying this because I was obsessed with Annie, mind you. I liked Annie because he was so beautiful, and he was so sweet. He made me feel things that no one ever had made me feel before, and part of it was the thrill of not understanding. I know that sounds a bit weird, but I think that was part of it.

Claire leaned back, still in her splits, the two of them still kissing, until she was fully lying on the mat. Jeanine licked her nipples (something I've never liked doing or having done to me), and the two of them finally brought their legs together. After several minutes, Jeanine moved her tongue down Claire's belly, giving her licks and soft kisses along the way, until she reached her very short shorts. Claire arched he back as Jeanine playfully tugged at her waistband, pulling it down a bit, licking along the top line of her knickers, then letting it go while she went back up to Claire's mouth for a kiss. Jeanine reached under Claire's shorts while they were kissing and rubbed her pussy, which made Claire grunt. Jeanine slowly pulled Claire's shorts off and crawled between Claire's legs. She began what looked like chewing on Claire's pussy through her knickers. She pulled Claire's knickers down just a bit in front and teased her clitoris with her tongue. Then she removed them entirely. I had to watch this very carefully because later in the scene I had to lick Claire's pussy.


I've already talked about pussies in this memoir. They frightened me. A fourteen year-old actress named Amber rubbed my cock against her pussy, and it felt nice in a way, but I didn't go in. I was only eight, almost nine, and I didn't have much of a cock to reach into her pussy. I could feel a sort of slimy goo on her pussy, and I wondered where it was coming from. Was it some kind of girl snot? Amber is a dear, but pussies made me nervous. What do they have up inside there? A great big runny nose?

When I saw that in the script this morning, I asked Randy about it. He said "the rest of Claire's body. That's what's up there." He told me I should focus on who she was, and how I was making her feel. "That's what sex is for," he said, "Making each other feel incredible because you love each other."

That was ok and all, but I had never done that before. I didn't know how to make a girl's pussy feel good. "That's why Eastman changed the script, Hawk Boy," said Randy. "You have never eaten pussy, you have never taken it in the ass on camera, and this is your first movie. Since we couldn't keep you with Malcolm in this scene, Eastman thought we could still play the angle of showing you as our newest boy having a huge, new experience by doing things that you've really never done before. Trust me Hawk Boy, he's right." It sounded as if they wanted to put me in a strange situation and watch me be clumsy and not know what I was doing. "That's the idea," he said. "It looks really cute when a little is still discovering sex for the first time. The clumsiness will be a super turn-on for your audience. It shows innocence, which they love. It shows sincerity, which is hard to find in porn, and the way Claire and Jeanine respond to you will show real love, which you can only get in Frenetic productions."

"But what's inside a girl's pussy?" I asked. "Can't you tell me that at least? Can I get a fluff girl today and have her show me?"

"Normally yes, but Mr. Eastman wants this to be your first experience with pussy. He wants you to explore Claire's pussy for the first time on-camera, and if you practice with a fluff girl, you won't look like a naturally curious little boy, which is our angle here. You've had your way with boys in this movie, but this is special. You are out of your element, and we want to capture that. It would be easier to have Malcolm fuck you with his big cock, and you could act like it was the first time, but that won't work with pussy. Malcolm is going to be a bit rough with you. He's running the show in this scene, and he will push your head around and tell you what he expects while the camera is rolling. You will both be making up lines as you go. Just be yourself. It's called improvising."

I didn't care what it was called. It still sounded like they wanted me to look like foolish little boy. "You did see the note that you're getting an extra £1,000 because this is the first time you're eating pussy, right?" My eyes opened wide. I hadn't seen the note, but there it was in my script. "When you do something on camera, and it's the first time you've done it, you get bonus pay. That's another thing you'd lose if you used a fluff girl for practice. When you get bonus pay, that goes right into your spending account."

That meant it was real money for me to use! Bonuses, fluff pay, and £500 per month were mine to spend on whatever I bloody wanted! I already had £1,000 in Randy's vault, £200 in my money clip, and another £1,000 would make £2,200! I could almost afford Tower Bridge!

"I thought that might ease your worries a bit, kiddo," said Randy.


"Cut!" yelled Mr. Koolman. Jeanine had been licking Claire's pussy for several minutes, and that was the time they planned to reset everything and shoot it again from a different angle. "Wonderful girls, that was excellent," he said to Claire and Jeanine, clapping slowly. I could see a hard bulge in the front of Jeanine's shorts. "Roy? Roy, I think we're going to put you on a tripod. You're the best of the best Roy, but we need a tripod for this long shot. It's just one of those things ok?" Roy nodded and gave a thumbs-up. "Camera crew? Camera crew, we need to get a tripod up there to Roy. Just a steady two-axis deal should work, about a meter and a half."

"Ok, that's five, people, take five and then we reset for scene 4a. Take 5," called Judine.

"I'm going down to see Annie," I told Adrian. "I want to see if I can stay down there because they won't be shooting us for some time yet, and I've got to know about pussy!"

"Careful, mate," said Adrian. "You don't want to blow your bonus."

"Nah, I just want to find a closer place to watch this, that's all. Won't you please tell me what it's like Adrian?" I pleaded with him.

"I said no, and there the end to it," he said firmly. "I'm not going to help my new mate spoil his scene. You need to be naive for this to work, and you know it. Oh give us a kiss you little sweetie," he said, seeing that I was moping. He squeezed my ass as we kissed.

"Oh I know, mate," I said.

He gave me a big, gentle hug and said, "You'll thank yourself for letting this happen. Trust me, all right?"

I nodded to him and started down the stairs. I asked Judine if I could watch from somewhere else. "He wants you upstairs so you only see what your character sees. Sorry hunny," she said. I looked to the side, and there was Claire, pulling her knickers up.

"Ooh, but 'ello Trevor," she said with a sweet smile and a wave. "Hi Claire!" I had to ask. "Any tips for me on doing this scene?"

She waved her finger slowly and said with a sly smile, "Oh, but you are a naughty boy! I cannot 'elp you, and zis I think you already know, but I am very excited to 'ave you to be licking in my pussy today, you cute, cute boy!" She gave me a kiss and a wave, and walked back to Diane, the wardrobe lady, to finish getting dressed.

I sulked off to the fluff area to sit with Annie. Later I felt so stupid. I should have gone to see Annie first. "What can I do for you, sweetie?" he asked with a hug and a kiss.

"Oh I dunno," I said. "It's this pussy thing. I'm nervous. I won't know what to do, and everyone will see me looking stupid."

"Oh I've been looking forward to that one! You are going to look so sweet with the girls," he said. "I'll try not to cum just from watching you, but no promises. I won't use my hands though!" I didn't know if he was kidding, but he hugged me and gave me another kiss. "Trevor, I'm sure people have explained to you why they want you naive, right?"

"Yeah," I said, "loads of times. But I don't want to look stupid, like I don't know what I'm doing in front of everyone! What do girls have in there? The lads at my school said they have another mouth with teeth and everything, but I think they were having me on."

We sat next to each other. He had his arm around me, which felt very nice. "I think I can tell you this much, sweetie," he said. "girls do not have any teeth in there, or anything that will hurt you. They only have things that feel nice." I nodded, because I believed him. He would never help them to make me look stupid. "But hunny, I think you're forgetting something." I turned to look at him. "You've told me about climbing the trees and how thrilling it was that you might get caught. Well, think of this the same way. Climb a tree with this scene. Claire can be your tree. If you look a bit silly, that's part of the thrill. It's like getting caught, but in a nice way, like when you were caught by Randy. And there's another safety. You can't do anything wrong! If you do something silly, it turns the audience on even more because they know you're a real boy who is really learning about these things for the first time. Naive new kid scenes are really, really fun, and if you make loads of innocent mistakes, the movie will sell loads more copies! That's part of the reason for the bonus."

"Ok everybody, let's reset for scene 4a, reset for 4a. Wardrobe and makeup, final checks please," called Judine.

Judine's call snapped me out of a brief reverie. I was remembering the thrill of taking that risk, and how amazing it was after Randy really did catch me. I decided to stay and snog with Annie until…

"Places! We are at places please! FSP's to the fluff area, lights and sound final checks, makeup and wardrobe clear the set please, craft services we have a request for more artichoke dip." called Judine.

I pushed Annie back on the fluff mattress and gave his cock a quick suck on the sly before going back upstairs. "Ok Trevor dear, let's move it, we are at places," called Judine as I dashed across the set to get to the stairs.

"Sorry," I called.


It took nine takes of scene 4a to get all the camera angles and just the right action from the girls to satisfy the director, and then they had to do it twice more with Adrian and me leaning over the walkway railing to watch them as Roy filmed from behind us. At the end of those last two takes, Adrian and I turned to look into each other's eyes, We said our lines (which as me saying his name and him saying "yes Trevor"), counted to three in our heads, then slowly moved together and kissed each other like mad. In all eleven takes, Claire came seven times.

Then Roy took his camera and tripod away while they just filmed Adrian and me standing there from a camera on the gymnastics mat where the girls has been, pretending we were watching them. They filmed us for about ten minutes, with Mr. Koolman calling instructions to us about where we should look and what we should be touching. After that was done Mr. Koolman called it a wrap for scene 4a.

We got a ten minute break when we finished scene 4a. Claire and Jeanine were sitting together at a small table near craft services. (Craft services are the people who set out the food and do basic housekeeping on the set.) I sat down with them, and Claire, who was wearing a robe over her otherwise-naked body, pulled it closed tight. "I 'ave told you Trevor, you naughty boy, zat you will get not even one peek at zis pussy of mine until it is time," she said with a flirtatious grin.

"Oh, I know," I said to her. "I was just wondering something. Do girls always cum so many times? Or are you just different? 'Cause I could never cum that many times so close together."

Claire giggled cutely, but Jeanine accidentally sprayed me with the milk she was drinking. "Oh little Trevor, but you are so precious, mon petit chou!" she said. "But even zis I cannot tell you. I 'ope you do not 'ate me for zis, but you must 'ave for our scene as much surprise to be possible." She let her robe fall open as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. Then she quickly pulled her robe closed again and said, "Ah ah ah! No peeking you cute little boy!"

"Wardrobe!" called Jeanine. My jacket, shirt, and tie were spotted with milk.

I stood up and leaned over to kiss Jeanine. "Your turn will be next, my sweet!" I said in a threatening, joking way, brushing some of the milk off my jacket.

I went to the fluff area to spend the rest of the break with Annie. Diane followed me, and I managed to pull my shirt, tie, and jacket off before she reached me, so all I had to do was hand them to her. She appraised my body and winked at me before dropping my clothes in laundry and hurrying up to the costume shop. "That's her taken care of," I said to Annie.

"You really should be more kind to Diane," he said to me. "She can come on a bit strong, but think about it. She loves your beautiful boy body." I shivered as Annie stroked my chest. "So do I! Is that such a bad thing? Isn't that why we're here, to share our bodies with people who love them?"

"Well when you put it like that…" Wasn't I ever going to do anything right? Don't they pick kids, special kids who really know how to love everyone, to work here? Am I really the right kind of boy for Frenetic Studios? "I must seem a complete prat," I said, "because I sure feel like one. Of course you're right about Diane, and I should have known right away!"

He hugged me again. There are times when I needed hugs, and times when I needed kisses, and Annie always knew which one I needed."Oh stop being such a silly twerp!" he said. "We get loads of new kids here every year, and they always go through this adjustment period, only most kids have a much worse time of it than you're having, and it's only your second day filming! It's not fair you starting during school holidays because you're the only new boy here, but if there were others, you would see how well you're doing." He paused and said, "But you do have a bit of an advantage because everyone is watching out for you, and only you, because you are the only new kid here. Usually we start a whole group of fresh littles together in the fall, and that can be a chaotic time. You'll be a great help to them because you'll have just gone through the adjustment yourself. I started with last year's group. Mum signed me up for it because she knew I wouldn't like rugby or dressage, and thought I might like to try it, and oh, it's been wonderful!"

Every time I spoke with anyone, my feelings seemed to be very strong. I was super happy, in a dream world, furious with myself, embarrassed, and in heaven. And Annie thought I was adjusting well?

"Down, you!" I pushed him back onto the mattress again. We were both giggling now. I started to suck his cock, but then I thought about Claire, and I licked Annie's scrotum instead, secretly practicing moves that I might try with my tongue on Claire as I moved down to Annie's ass. He made all kinds of noises and fuss! I wondered if he would help me find some cute, sexy pink clothes?


"Five minutes! We're at five minutes people! Wardrobe! Where's Diane? Diane, are you here? We still need Trevor's uniform. Somebody please find Diane," called Judine. Right on cue, Diane entered through the studio door with another complete school uniform on a hanger.

"Sorry Annie," I said," I've got to do this." I got up and met Diane half way. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, rubbing my crotch against her leg.

I could hear Annie laughing and clapping. "I love you Trevor!" he called.

Diane got my school uniform sorted in her own sweet time, which suited me. "Oh I just love your soft skin," she said as she helped me into my shirt. She had first dropped my shorts a bit in order to tuck my shirt in, pulling them up last, slowly, and rubbing my bikini undies all around as she tucked my shirt in, paying special attention to the front. This time I treated her to a boner, which I pulled upwards in my sexy green satin bikini undies before she did up my zip, giving her a quick peek so she could tug on it. I found that it was easy to forget anything annoying about someone when I was paying attention to how I could make them feel good. Making Diane feel good was much more important than whether or not I was annoyed. I was only a little annoyed to start with, but the happiness I felt when I finally gave her something nice was much greater than that little bit of annoyance. I would try my best to make things better with Chauncy too, and remember to put love and happiness first when I'm bothered by something. I wondered if that attitude would work outside of Frenetic?

"Are we ready Diane? Wardrobe? Are we ready? We need to be at places," called Judine.

"Thirty seconds please." called Diane. She was finished already, but she fussed a little bit more than necessary with my clothes so she could look into my eyes with a huge smile and say, "Thank you, you sweet little boy!" We kissed, and I ran upstairs, feeling happy that I was starting to understand things. I wondered if anyone outside Frenetic was as loving as the people who worked there?

Scene 4b went very well. Don't I look convincing? It's easy to be convincing when you're not acting. And look at Adrian. I’ve got him by the head, but he makes it look as if I’m his puppeteer. I learned so much from him when I was new to child porn. I tried my best to be as helpful to other new boys.

Chapter 16

Trevor and his fellow cast-members begin shooting scene 4b. Trevor's sexy green satin undies (that really belong to Sebastian) aren't the first to drop, but they do drop. Everything goes surprisingly well, except for one thing.

I returned to the walkway to shoot scene 4b with Adrian. Roy had his camera on his shoulder again, and the tripod had been cleared away. There was another camera hanging on cables from the ceiling and a second camera operator as well. Scene 4b was all about Adrian and me. The girls had to keep up their play, but they didn't really have much to do, only switching from Jeanine licking Claire's pussy to a 69 sort of position with Jeanine on top. Then Malcolm would tumble his way across the mat to the girls and jump in for a bit, but he would spot Adrian and me watching from above on the walkway, only we weren't just watching.

"Ok people, we are at places! Places for St. Felix Academy, scene 4b."

"Places," we all replied.

Mr. Koolman stepped out onto the gym mat and stood over the girls and said,"Ok, here's how I want to do this. I'm going to call action first, before rolling the cameras. I want the transition to look organic, ok? Jeanine, than means you start licking Claire's pussy, and boys," he called to us on the walkway, "you start kissing, and don't stop until you have a ten count from when I call to roll cameras. Are we all clear on that? Girls?" They both said yes. "Boys? You are the focus for this segment, so it's important you get the timing right. Do you understand what I want here?"

I didn't understand. I still felt nervous, and it was difficult to follow things being nervous. "Do you understand everything Trevor?" Adrian asked me. "It's important that you say no if you don't." I looked at him, and I'm sure there was some anxiousness in my eyes. I shook my head slowly.

"I understand, Sir," said Adrian. "Please, can I have two minutes to go over it with Trevor?"

"Certainly, Adrian," he said. "You've been doing a fantastic job of coaching Trevor, a fantastic job. Take what time you need, and we'll hold until you're ready."

"Ok everybody, we're on hold please. Everyone hold at places for a few minutes," called Judine.

The call of "hold places" echoed around the set. I didn't know if it counted as holding her position, but Jeanine started licking Claire's pussy anyway. It couldn't have been that bad if she did it when she didn't have to.

Now everybody had to hold everything because of me! How embarrassing. There were so many ups and downs in this child porn business.

Adrian always knew when I was getting nervous and stressed, and he always knew how to settle me. He smiled at me with those lovely eyes of his and kissed me, long and slow. Was this why everyone was holding? So we could kiss? Well. It felt really good. Then I became aware once again of the love. I simply enjoyed the kiss.

"You're getting it, Trevor!" he said when we finished the kiss. "Everybody loves you! And everybody would be happy to wait an hour while we kissed if that's what you need, all right mate?"

I nodded, deciding that I didn't have to know why they were treating me so well anymore. Did I?

"It's simple, mate. He calls for action, and we start snogging, right? And remember you're in charge. Be rough with me during this scene. Grab my hair and give it a yank if it feels right, none of that nice, pussy-boy who’s afraid he might hurt someone rot. Don’t give it a try. Do it, and do it hard. You’ve got to mean it if you do it. Got it?"

"Yeah," I said, wondering what I’d have to do with his cap if I pulled his hair.

He continued, "Then Koolman calls to roll cameras, but that doesn't matter to us. We just carry on snogging. I will count to ten, and then I'll turn my head away. When I do, that's your cue to push my head down. So, on action, we snog. Roll cameras, we keep snogging. When I turn my head away from the kiss, you shove my head down, and hard. Got it?"

"So it's really just us snogging until you turn away, then I shove you down?"

"You've got it, mate!" He gave me another slow, patient kiss. I think that was mostly to show me that people didn't mind waiting for the new boy, and I appreciated it.

"Right, we're ready upstairs," he called to Mr. Koolman, our director. Jeanine was still eating Claire's pussy aggressively, and Claire was becoming excited.

"Thank you boys," called Mr. Koolman. "Quiet on the set. Quiet please. And… action!"

Trevor looked into my eyes seriously and said, "I love you Trevor, you're so sweet." Then we kissed passionately. I knew he wasn't lying when he said that. So many people say it, and it is always the truth in the studio. When you really love the person you're kissing, it's a different kind of kissing than when you kiss your old aunt Martha or your creepy uncle Eugene. Everything else disappears, and you only really feel the other person's mouth, and that seems to carry the love back and forth somehow. I've never quite worked that one out, but that's how it feels to me. It's like I have my own mouth, and his tongue is my guest, but we only have one set of lips that we share.

Adrian's lips pulled away from mine, bringing me back into my surroundings. I hadn't heard Mr. Koolman's call to roll cameras. It didn't feel like enough time had passed, but I trusted Adrian. It was time to act.

I put my hand on top of Adrian's head, worked up my strongest, most aggressive face, and pushed his head down until he was on his knees. Then I pulled his face into the bulge in my shorts. He looked up at me and nodded. He opened my belt and shorts, seeing my sexy satin bikini knickers for the first time, and he felt he my cock through the sexy satin. I got hard right away. I had been so horny that entire day, and I kept missing the chance to cum. There was my wake-up blowjob, there was playing with Sebastian in the car, and there was Sebastian's blowjob in my dressing room. No happy ending to any of them! I was afraid I would cum right away once Adrian began sucking me off properly.

Luckily, the scene needed that. Malcolm's cue to discover Adrian and me was the noise I made when I came, and if I came early, we could use it just the same. There were four cameras used to film Adrian and me on the walkway, the two hand-held cams, the hanging cam, and one more on the floor on the opposite side of the gym for long shots.

I remembered being in the limousine as Markus was sucking my cock, and all those hands were rubbing champagne all over me. My body was the world's. I was giving it to them, and they wanted it. All these cameras filming my body having sex was the same thing, really. Instead of them using their hands to take the gift I offered with my body, they were receiving it through the cameras. I began to feel as though I loved the cameras because they were what carried my love to the people watching.

I unfastened the bottom buttons of my shirt as Adrian lowered my shorts. I kept my eye on the girls because I was supposed to be careless with Adrian, but I heard him gasp as he saw my sexy green satin bikini undies in full for the first time. I put my left arm around my back to hold the bottom of my shirt and my jacket away from Adrian's head. He munched on my boner through my sexy satin knickers while his fingers explored my ass.

The girls changed to their 69 position, which was Adrian's cue to begin the process of pulling my undies down. I call it a process because they don't want us to just pull underpants down. There is a lot of teasing first, then pulling it partway down, showing only the ass and the base of the cock, then licking and playing all around some more, then pulling the front down just enough to set the cock free. That's when the proper blowjob can begin. Still you don't get to pull the undies off for a few minutes. It keeps the viewers in suspense, and it drives me mad waiting for the mouth on my cock! I know that I've always shown that feeling while I'm waiting, and for some reason the directors love it. They've told me it makes the viewers relate to me. They are being teased, and so am I. If they feel more like me, it makes the whole experience more real when they wank to one of my movies.

Finally, there it was. Adrian had my cock in his mouth, and it felt good! I breathed harder, but I couldn't cum until my underpants were around my ankles or on the floor. A few minutes later, Malcolm came tumbling naked onto the mat toward the girls. He was quite talented as a gymnast. That was Adrian's cue to finish lowering my undies. I still didn't want to cum though. The director had asked me to wait if I could until Malcolm was in position. After some dialog between Malcolm and Claire, the girls changed positions so Jeanine was once again eating Claire's pussy, though from a different angle, and Malcolm straddled Claire's face and slid his big cock into her open mouth. He had his head facing Jeanine so he could watch carefully as she worked on Claire's pussy. Malcolm face-fucked Claire rather aggressively for a few minutes.

Meanwhile, Adrian seemed to sense that I was near to cumming. Everything was ready now. My sexy green satin knickers were around my ankles, and Malcolm was in place. Adrian sucked harder and faster, poking his finger around my hole but not going in. That was enough to do it though. Roy's camera was less than one foot from my face, and the other bloke's camera was less than a foot from my cock when I let out a high-pitched howl, not a very long one, but a loud one, almost a bark. My reflexes pulled my hips back, away from Adrian, but he had his hands around my ass to hold us together. He knew what it meant to be ready.

Malcolm looked up when I made my sound. He didn’t pause fucking Claire's face though. I was shivering and shaking with thrusts of electricity as Adrian tried to hold us together. Adrian slowed down so I could collect myself. When I had calmed down, I was to turn to face Malcolm, then open my mouth wide with a frightened expression. I kept shaking though. Adrian was still sucking as I was trying to look frightened. I felt a bit faint at that moment. When I made that face, Malcolm pulled his cock from Claire's mouth, stood up, and crossed the mat to the stairs, a furious look on his face.

"Cut!" called Mr. Koolman. I wanted to collapse. I was shaking from that. I came hard! I thought I did ok during that scene, but you can never tell what the director will say. Adrian sucked as he slowly pulled his head back, but my cock didn't fall because it was still hard. I was still feeling those electrical pulses every few seconds. I sat on the floor to relax a bit, and Adrian kissed me with a big smile.

"You were brilliant!" he cried, "Absolutely bloody brilliant! You're such a bloody natural, I keep telling you!" He kissed me again.

"He's right, you know," said a gruff voice from behind me. I looked back and saw Roy holding his camera, smiling gently at me. "You're bloody marvelous, son!" I lay on my back to catch my breath, and Adrian pulled my tangled shorts and undies from my shoes.

"All right," said Mr. Koolman. "I just want to say that was bloody perfect! I love you all! Applause for all of you! Tech crew as well. Camera operators, you were spot-on, every shot, spot fucking on!" Everyone applauded. "Boys? Boys, are you still up there?" Adrian slapped my thigh to get my wandering attention. "Oh Adrian, let him rest if he needs it, because he bloody well deserves it! He was incredible! Am I right people?" There was a round of enthusiastic applause as I sat up to face Mr. Koolman. "There you are Trevor! I could not believe this was a new boy with no training. You were perfectly on cue, your expressions were honest, and Roy and Jimmy captured the most amazing footage when you came. It was joy! Pure joy!" Adrian threw my shorts and undies over the railing as everybody cheered. "Now we're going to do it all over again." There was a general moan across the set. "Oh don't worry. You all know how it's done. At least two takes of everything for safety." The moans subsided. Most of the cast and crew were still smiling, and none of the moaning was serious." "Let's take fifteen so the actors can collect themselves. Don't forget to thank craft services today. They've pulled out all the stops and laid out a wonderful buffet! I mean it people, try the artichoke dip. It's bloody marvelous!" There was another round of applause and thank yous for craft services.

Adrian helped me to steady myself as I stood up. Then he kissed me sweetly and hugged me. "Bloody hell," I said to him, still feeling a bit unsteady, even shaking a bit. "You must be the best teacher in film if I'm really doing that bloody well on my second day!"

He slapped my ass and said, "And don't you forget it!"

"Fifteen minutes people. That's fifteen minutes. We have a nurse call, nurse to the set please, nurse to the set. Wardrobe to the set. Diane, wardrobe to the set. Fluff call. That's fifteen minutes, and we have fluff call."

"Nurse Dan said I couldn't play with it. He didn't say I couldn't hold it!" Everybody was so concerned! I just felt a little dizzy after doing a really good scene and cumming really hard, but Nurse Dan called my agent, my solicitor, and the on-call doctor at the studio clinic to get permission to give me an i.v. because I was dehydrated. I was embarrassed because everybody had to wait for me, again, but Annie knew how to make me feel better, no matter what was bothering me.

Chapter 17

Trevor just came hard during a scene with Adrian, and he is understandably a little shaky when the scene is over. However, Nurse Dan sees Trevor's wobbliness as something that could be potentially serious. Yet again, Trevor has to face the fact that he really matters to a lot of people, and that makes him a little uncomfortable, but not for long.

We walked toward the stairs when the nurse, who had treated Adrian the day before, stopped me and asked me to sit in a chair that he seemed to have pulled out of nowhere. "Oh bloody hell. Have fun, Trevor. I'm getting something to eat."

"What's wrong?" I asked the nurse.

"Oh, nothing's wrong at all," he said. "My name is Dan, and I'm the studio 2 set nurse today. You looked a bit shaky after that scene, and I think anybody would feel a bit shaky if they had put so much emotion into a performance. But it's standard that if anyone appears to be shaking, weak, dizzy, or faint, or sweaty when they shouldn't be, we have to check you over to make sure it's nothing serious." He helped me out of my jacket and began to roll up my long sleeve. "It would be easier if we just remove the shirt as well. Would that be ok with you?" I nodded. He pulled off my tie and helped me out of my shirt, leaving me naked except for my shoes and socks. It felt strange to have someone looking over my naked body with so many people around. "Now, I'm just going to put this on you." He wrapped a blood pressure cuff around my right arm, and then pressed a button on a box of some sort. I felt it squeezing my arm as he sat on the floor in front of me.

"No one's ever checked my blood pressure before," I said.

"Well, it's usually not a problem for kids, but if you look faint, we have to know. If it's low, you could pass out and get hurt. It's not worth the risk if you just need some water." He fussed around in his case for a few items and set them on his lap. "Now I need to poke your finger," he said. Before I could say a word, he had pressed something that looked like a short, fat pen against my finger and made it click. I didn't felt a thing.

"What was that for?" I asked. It didn't hurt, but I resented being poked anyway. "Are you diabetic?" he asked. "No, but my friend Emma at school is, and she has to take injections."

"Ok. This is the same blood test she takes several times a day. It's just to make sure your blood sugar is ok." I heard a beep, and then a second, much higher beep. It felt like I was in hospital. "Ok, your blood sugar is fine, maybe a bit low, but nothing to worry about. But your blood pressure is a little lower than we want it to be. When was the last time you had a pee?"

"The last time I had a pee?" What business was it of his? But then I caught myself being annoyed. I kissed him and said, "Nurse Dan, before I forget, thanks for taking such good care of me." He smiled. I wasn't sure he heard that very often from us kids. "I think it was when I got out of bed today. We slept late, so that was… half past ten this morning, about then."

"Do you feel like you have to pee now?" he asked as he began pinching my skin in different parts of my body.

"No, not at all," I said. "Stop that! It tickles!" I giggled.

"Sorry, Trevor. I need to feel the texture of your skin. It's medical." he said with a wink. "Can you tell me everything you've had to drink today?"

"Er…" I had to think. I remembered feeling a little dizzy from the champagne at the party, and there was Randy's hangover cure. "I had a large glass of this drink that is made of half orange juice and half fizzy water at breakfast, and I opened a root beer in my dressing room, but I only had a sip of that."

"Ok, have you been feeling ill, or have you vomited or had any diarrhea today?" he asked, taking my temperature in my ear.

"No, none of that. I mean, I was just a bit dizzy from the party last night, but that got sorted with Randy's fizzy orange drink."

"Oh yes, of course," he said. "You had your signing party last night, congratulations! Did you have a good time?" I nodded happily. "Did you have lots of lovely champagne?"

"Oh yes," I said. "But Randy watched me closely, and he saw to it that I didn't drink too much and make myself sick." He smiled as if he had a secret.

He had me stand up while he held my arm, and that made me feel dizzy again. He took my blood pressure while I was standing, and then he let me sit back down. He listened to my heart and measured my pulse. He said, "This sometimes happens in this business. It's a lot of work to have sex, a lot of exercise, even if you're just standing there receiving oral sex. It can sometimes get quite warm under the lights too, even with so many of these new LED lights, and you've been up near the ceiling on this walkway, which is warmer than the rest of the studio. Your body uses a lot of energy and loses a lot of water when you make porn. Right now your body is just running a little low on water. I'm glad we got you checked. This is important. I'm going to walk with you downstairs. I am going to hold your arm, and I don't want any arguments about that, ok?"

"Ok Dan," I said. "Will I have to go to hospital?"

He ruffled my hair and said "No, but I'm going to get you something to drink and maybe a snack once your blood pressure is back up. But you are going to have to stay on my exam lounge in the nursing station until you're better, ok?"

"Ok," I said quietly. I was so looking forward to spending the break with Annie. I was disappointed, but I remembered Dan was taking care of me, and that's a way to love somebody. I was getting better at this way of thinking.

Dan steadied me as I stood up and then helped walk me down the stairs. I felt everyone's eyes upon me as he helped me walk across the gym mat. It was too quiet, and I felt I could manage on my own. I felt silly having him hold my arm the whole way, but I promised I wouldn't argue. "Don’t worry, Trevor," he said, "They’ve all seen this before, and many of them have gone through this with me or one of the other set nurses themselves." When we passed Judine, she didn't say anything, but Dan said to her, "Dehydration. Thirty minutes, possibly 45. Call craft services, will you luv?"

Judine nodded and scribbled something on her clipboard and walked over to Mr. Koolman for a talk. As she walked, she made the call on her headset microphone, "Craft services to the nursing station with Pedialyte. That's craft services to the nursing station, one liter of Pedialyte."

When we got to the nursing station, I thought I was just going to climb onto the examination lounge and lie back, but instead Dan picked me up, and I looked into his sparkling blue eyes, which were framed by a rather friendly pair of eyeglasses, and realized how strong and beautiful this man was. He laid me down gently on the lounge, which was covered with one of those super-soft Frenetic studio towels, and said, "Craft services is going to bring you something to drink. Have you ever had Pedialyte?"

"I don't think so," I said. "Isn't that for babies?"

"Oh no, not at all. Pro footballers drink it at the touchlines and during injury time. I think you'll like it, and it should make you feel much better."

He went to a cabinet, made a quick telephone call, then another one, and finally removed what looked like a bag of water and some tubing from the drawer. "I need to give you i.v. fluids as well Trevor. I just had a quick word with the doctor to get permission. He will drop by in a few minutes to say hello."

"What are i.v. fluids?" I asked.

"That means I poke you with a needle in the arm, and water drips directly into your blood. You'll be surprised how quickly it works, and how good it makes you feel."

"I need a bloody injection?" I hated needles, and the one he had in his hand looked huge!

"Sorry Trevor, but I'm very good at this, and you might be surprised that the larger needles hurt less than some of the smaller ones." I found that hard to believe. "And when you see how much better you feel, you'll thank me for this one. I'm afraid we have to do it this way. It's the safest and quickest way to rehydrate you. I also spoke with Markus. He makes your medical decisions now. It's in the contract your mum signed. Markus makes those decisions instead of her. He said we could do the i.v., which means right now that we have to do it."

"Mum would have told you to put lemon juice in it or something," I said, cheering up a bit.

Nurse Dan poked me on the inside of my right elbow very quickly and said, "There, that's all there is to it." He taped the needle in place and connected the tubing coming down from the bag of water that he'd hung above the lounge. He raised an armrest and put my arm on it. "Keep your arm here please, and try not to move around too much. This should only need to drip for about five to ten minutes."

"Trevor!" It was Annie, and I was very pleased to see him. He gave me a big hug and a few kisses from the opposite side of the lounge. "Can I stay with him Dan? Is he ok?"

"Oh he's fine, luv," said Dan. "You've been here long enough to know about dehydration. You've had lessons in your S and S classes about water and acting under hot lights and such. He'll be as right as rain once we've filled him back up." (S and S stood for sex and stagecraft, which were classes that all Frenetic actors had to take, and I was looking forward to my first lessons in the coming autumn.)

"I don't like it when I hear them call for the nurse," Annie said. "It scares me, even though it's always nothing." He hugged me. "It's ok if I stay here with him, isn't it, Dan?"

"Of course it is, Annie," he said. "I just need to wait for the Pedialyte and watch Trevor here take a few swallows, and then I'll leave the two of you alone," he said. "You can share the lounge if you like. Please use the left side though so you don't interfere with Trevor's i.v. There's plenty of room for both of you there, but Trevor, you must stay right where you are until I clear you to get up, ok?"

"Ok Dan, I promise," I said.

"And boys," he continued, turning to Annie, "nothing sexual either, not until I've cleared it. He's ok, but while he's like this, I just don't want him fainting or falling."

"Yes, Dan," pouted Annie.

"Fancy having such a bloody sexy fluff boy in a porn studio and having to be celibate!" I said.

Annie kissed me, and Dan laughed. "I expect you'll keep him busy soon enough. Annie, I think you're going to have a sore jaw tonight!" Annie play-punched him on the shoulder and hopped onto the lounge with me.

"And in good time, here comes the sweating lord!" said Dan as a middle-aged, balding man from craft services approached. They both had a good laugh, but it sounded like a very peculiar thing to say to somebody. I thought maybe it was an inside joke.

"Trevor, this is Hastings, one of the amazing crew we have working in craft services, and Hastings, I believe you already know this very, very pretty boy, Annie."

"Indeed I do," said Hastings, leaning down to kiss Annie. He held four plastic bottles with orange liquid in his hands. "I brought four bottles, two hundred fifty mL each," he said to Dan. Then, turning to me, he said, "And you, Trevor! Everything they were saying yesterday about you, I didn't know whether to believe a word of it, but what stage presence! What perfection in beauty, the perfect specimen of boy sexuality combined with such natural…"

"Thank you Hastings!" said Dan, cutting him off. He opened a bottle and handed it to me, saying, "Drink as much of this stuff as you can, Trevor. It's just an orange flavored drink. Keep a bottle nearby for the rest of the day, even on the set – out of shot, of course. Take at least one drink every time you have a break, and a big drink when you finish a shot. And Annie, see if you can help to keep him drinking. As much as you can, Trevor." He put the other three bottles on a small shelf attached to the lounge. Then he said to Hastings, "I need to talk to you about something over here." He put his arm around Hastings' shoulder and guided him some distance away from us, yet still facing us until he saw me take my first drink.


"Attention! Attention on the set," Judine's voice rang out. "All cast, designers, and crew, we will resume filming in thirty minutes. We are taking a thirty minute break, fluff call as needed. Actors, if you do not require your FSP's, please let them know. You may dismiss them at your discretion for up to thirty minutes. And really people, the artichoke dip is amazing. Try some, and show your love to craft services. Be ready for places in thirty minutes. That’s thirty minutes people. Thank you."

I gulped and looked at Annie with my eyebrows raised as the calls of "thirty minutes" went round the room. Because of me! Everybody had to wait another bloody half hour because of me!

"Stop that right now!" said Annie. "You're thinking that you're the problem again. I can see it in your face. And drink some more of that. You've hardly touched it!"

"I love you Annie," I said. "I'm trying to understand how that works. If I have a problem, and that makes everyone have to wait, I'm still not the problem? It really confuses me, but you make me feel good, and you remind me to stop thinking like that because you love me, right?"

"Of course I love you, daft boy!" He kissed me, and it felt so nice! "Now drink!"


When you're not feeling well, there is nothing quite like having an incredibly pretty boy lying naked with you.

He was a little older than me. He was nine, and I was eight, almost nine. But he was small for his age, and slender. I was tall for my age, and not so slender. We looked like a couple of boyfriends, or a boyfriend and girlfriend if you just went by looks. We looked like a very young couple, but he was older than me, and he knew a lot more about everything. I was feeling that feeling again, that I loved him so much it hurt, and a tear caught me by surprise and jumped out of my eye. Of course he saw it, and that always meant we had to talk about it.

"Oh Trevor sweetie! I'm here with you, it's going to be all right," he said giving me one of his very sweet hugs. "What's the matter luv?"

"Oh it's silly," I said.

"Well that hasn't stopped you from talking before, has it?" He licked my ear, which made me giggle just a bit.

I told him about how it hurt sometimes to feel such strong love for him, how even a quick thought of anything happening was enough to make me want to cry. I was embarrassed, but I had to trust him, of all people. But what he said surprised me.

"I am here, Trevor," he said, giving me a kiss, "and I love you."

No more? He always knew the right thing to say. He could explain strange feelings and help me understand the way I think. He was one of the smartest boys I'd known. I guess I was expecting a longer answer, and something that was more comforting.

I think I looked worried because he kissed me with a smile, repeating "I am here, Trevor, and I love you."

I thought for a bit. What was he telling me? I mean, I already knew he loved me, and of course he was here. There must be more.

"I don't understand," I told Annie. "Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts?"

"I don't think so," he said. "I've loved lots of people, but you're not like other people. I can't say it hurts though. You make me happy when I see you, no matter what. Well, it's something more than happy, but I don't have a word for it. It makes me happy to think of you, and I thought about you all night last night, and again when I woke up this morning. I've never known a boy like you. Knowing that you love me too is the nicest feeling I know. None of it hurts. It's all nice," he said. He seemed to be thinking carefully before he spoke again. "Trevor," he continued, "If it hurts so much to think of something happening, then why do you think about such things? I'm here, Trevor. Nothing bad has happened, and I love you. I don't think there can be anything better, but I think you want something more… some handcuffs maybe?" He held our hands up together as if they were locked in cuffs and gave that wonderful giggle of his again. "I'm not ready to get married, if that's what you're thinking!" He grinned and licked my nose this time.

I smiled, but I was unable to laugh this time. "Maybe it's because everything is going so fast, and sometimes it seems like none of this is real, the studio, my contract, all the money, making great sex films, and then you," I told him. "It's so much to think about in just two days. So many things have become so wonderful in such a short time, and I think it feels too good to be true. It's never happened to me before. That's not how things work in my life. And you're the best part of everything that's happened, so if it's all too good to be true, that means you're too good to be true as well."

He smiled, and I think he blushed, just a little, before he kissed me. "I think you will learn in your own time that all of this really is true," he said. "Just remember, I'm here and I love you."

It seemed he still knew the perfect thing to say, only when I thought about things later, I realized that he hadn't said anything really. I was the one who'd finally worked it out – with his help.

"Now drink!" he said, kissing me yet again. He could never kiss me too much. I grew taller and taller, stronger and stronger, with each kiss. I took a large drink from my bottle, and I noticed I'd gotten another stiffie. I looked down at it, and Annie looked around before putting his hand on it.

"You know we can't," he said, just holding my boner.

"Yeah, I know," I said. "But a boy can pretend!" This time I kissed him.


We stayed like that, arm in arm, with his hand on my cock, for what seemed like ages. Then I heard a familiar man's voice call, "Trevor!" It was Randy. Annie hurriedly removed his hand from my boner, which immediately fell limp.

"They called me on my cell phone and told me you'd become ill," he said with some urgency. "I've spoken with Nurse Dan. How are you feeling, Hawk Boy? Er, Trevor?"

It was unlike Randy to forget anything, especially his professionalism at the studio, so I was surprised when he got my name wrong. I kissed him and said with a huge smile "Oh I'm just fine." I turned and kissed Annie again. "Annie makes me feel wonderful no matter what."

He held up the bottle I was drinking from, which was more than half empty. "Good boy, Trevor," he said. "See if you can finish it soon and get into another bottle." I thought he must be mad! Annie had been pushing and pushing me to drink more and more, but my stomach didn’t feel very well.

"Oh he's doing his best," said Annie. It's nice to see you Randy," he said, leaning over me to kiss him.

"Thanks for looking after my boy, Annie," said Randy.

Annie giggled and kissed me. "Sorry Randy, but he's my boy now!" "Sorry Randy," I repeated with a smile.

"Oh fine," he said. "Do you feel well enough to talk about some business?"

"Can Annie stay?"

"Certainly, if you don't mind. Listen Trevor," he said. "I've been to the bank with Markus. He's got your accounts set up. The thousand quid from my wall safe at home is in your spending account, but we had to take a hundred out of it to open your college fund. When he gets the check for your first monthly stipend, which covers July, he will deposit nine hundred of that into your college fund and put the other hundred into your spending account. They should be able to cut that check yet this afternoon." This was so much money! Annie could tell I was breathing faster, so he held my hand, which made me relax.

He showed me a plastic Visa card that had my name on it. "I will keep this for you until we leave. It works with your spending account. We will be talking about how to manage your spending money tonight. For now, just remember that you can only spend a certain amount of money with this card before it stops working." I nodded. "You will also be paid your bonus money after the shoot. You've been behaving, I trust? Not bothering the fluff girls and cheating?"

Annie giggled, and I said, "No Sir, I've been a perfectly good little boy." I don't think he liked the way I smiled because he turned abruptly to Annie with a nervous look.

Annie smiled and said, "Really, he's been a good boy. He's been tempted, but he's kept himself eligible. We're looking after him. Claire has been teasing him a bit, but I think he likes it."

I just then remembered something. "Randy, can we go shopping after we leave the studio today?" "If you like," he said.

"I really like the nice clothes that Sebastian has, and I want to have my own." I thought about it, and I decided to ask, "Annie? Are you free tonight? Can you go shopping with us? Only I want to buy… er… I'd love your help in choosing… in choosing some pretty pink girl clothes."

Randy tried to suppress a laugh, and Annie hugged and kissed me for what must have been the thousandth time that day. "Of course I'd love to help you get kitted out!" he said, "but I'm afraid I can't do it tonight. Mum and I have plans of our own, but maybe you can come shopping with Mum and me on Saturday?"

I nodded excitedly, then told Randy, "I still want to go shopping tonight with Sebastian though."

"We'll have to see if Sebastian has plans, but yes, that will be fine. It will be a good opportunity to learn how to use your new card as well. Come now, Trevor. Drink up!"

Randy kissed me and walked off to speak with Nurse Dan.

"Trevor," inquired Annie, "Do you feel like you might really be a girl?"

I felt shy talking about it. Why didn't I feel comfortable telling him everything? "No," I said softly, "but Sebastian has so many wonderful and sexy clothes, and he says that a lot of them are girls’ clothes. Mostly I can't tell which clothes are girls clothes or just sexy boys’ clothes. And," I added hesitantly, "maybe, sometimes, I think I want to be pretty too."

Annie kissed me and said, "Obviously I know what you mean. I wondered about that when I first met you at Randy's house. The way you and Sebastian were acting together was a bit of a sign. He's a right proper queen, our Sebastian!"

How did he know more about me than I did? He read the question in my face right away and said, "Sweetie, when you've been in this business a little longer, I think you'll find it easier to tell who's who when you meet them. I definitely felt some girl tendencies coming from you, though usually you act very much like a boy, a sensitive boy, and that's the best kind. Now have another drink."

I turned the bottle up and took a tiny sip, trying to make it look like I'd had more. "When I'm with Sebastian, I think I get a little girly. Today for a while it felt like we were sisters. It was pretend, but it was fun pretend!" He nodded as if he understood perfectly. "But I think it's because I've been told so many things about girls and boys and sex that weren't true, and I just want to try a little of everything."

"Even girls," I thought.

"It feels so nice, like I'm free, and Mum can't tell me those things anymore because I know better!" I said, speaking a little louder. "There aren't any silly rules like she says!"


Dan came back to the nursing station and looked me over again. He looked at my now-empty Pedialyte bottle and said, "Good boy, Trevor! That was quite a lot! That's exactly what we needed. How do you feel?"

"Better than ever, Dan," I said as he removed the tape from the i.v. line and pulled it out. He left a ball of cotton over the spot where the needle was and taped it in place.

"Great," he said. "I'm going to look you over again to make sure you're rehydrated enough to carry on with this scene. It's so much easier working with you porn actors because you're already undressed, and I can see and reach everything without any fuss.," he said with a grin. "We should be able to remove this in a few minutes," he said, indicating the tape on my arm.

He had me stand up while he took my blood pressure. "Any dizziness?" he asked.

"None at all," I replied. It was then that I realized just how much better I felt. He did the same skin pinching as before, and I tried not to giggle. He listened to my heart and everything else he had done upstairs, all except poking my finger.

"Excellent," he said. "You're in perfect condition, you can leave my station, and you can have all the sex you want." Annie immediately grabbed my cock, which hardened instantly. "Before you go to places," he said, "I need to remove your tape and the cotton and make sure it's not bleeding. When the shoot is done, I want to see you pee, if you haven't already. I don't want you leaving this stage area until you've had a pee. I'll put a large cup with a lid that has your name on it in the private loo here, at the nursing station. I want you to pee into that big cup, put the lid back on, and tell me or Judine immediately every time you have to use the toilet today. Pee everything into the cup, and don't pee into the toilet at all. Leave the cup on the back of the toilet where you found it. I need to look it over and measure how much comes out. That is your private toilet for the rest of the day. Remember to tell me when you've peed, ok Trevor?"

It's nice to know I'm surrounded by professionals on the set. Annie was, of course, my favorite professional, but Mr. Koolman, Diane, and Judine were also very professional and very good at their jobs, though sometimes it seemed Diane liked her job a little too much. (Is that really possible?)

You can see two of the boys who weren’t selected as FSP’s for our film working as stagehands. That’s another option if you are friendly with the director or any of the technical designers. That’s Rudi on the left, pushing and pulling the dolly camera along the tracks, and Étienne, the one holding the boom microphone. Most people thought Étienne was in love with Mr. Koolman. If he wasn’t cast as an actor, he would fluff for anybody at all on one of Mr. Koolman’s films, or work for even less pay as a stagehand. Mr. Koolman permitted Étienne to remain in the studio, even if he had no part in a production. (Most people also thought Étienne’s feelings for Mr. Koolman were mutual.)

Chapter 18

Trevor's health issue is sorted out, and the cast & crew set about shooting a retake of scene 4b.

"Ok people, break is over! Let's reset for scene 4b! Reset for 4b please! We need stage lights up and checked, and we need the work lights down. Wardrobe on the set please! Wardrobe, check all actors please. Makeup, we need makeup checks on all actors please, makeup! Cameras, check positions and focus. Cameras, position and focus please. Carpenters, we now have a report of a loose stair rail on the set. Check that please! Carpenters to the set to check the railing. Fluff call! We have fluff call please! All FSP's are here. Actors, FSP's are available if needed. Craft services, strike the food from the set please, craft services. Reset for scene 4b! We are at ten minutes people, ten minutes!" It was the longest call I'd heard Judine make.

"Ten minutes, thank you" echoed around the stage area.

I had asked Annie to come up to the walkway for some fluff work in the place where Adrian and I were shooting, but we didn't quite make it there. Diane caught up with us, holding my uniform on a hanger. So Annie got to his slender, delicate knees and started sucking my cock right in the middle of the gym mat. I gave Diane a kiss and a smile, happy that I was learning how to do things differently. She smiled back, but she seemed to be in more of a hurry than usual. In a few seconds, I could see why.

Mr. Koolman walked up to us and said, "Hi Trevor! How are you feeling? Ok?"

"Oh yes Sir," I grunted out as Annie did his work. "Nurse Dan says I'm as good as new."

"Ok Trevor," he said. "I want to know how you feel about doing this scene again. I mean 4b. Do you think you can handle it after what just happened?"

"Oh yes Sir, no problem." Nurse Dan joined us then and stopped Diane from dressing me.

"Ok, ok," he said. "But if you feel even the least bit faint, dizzy, or weak, you call out the word 'hold' as loud as you can, ok? That's a sort of safe word. It means we need to stop, because something is wrong, or someone isn't comfortable. This is supposed to be for love and for fun, not for making people get sick or hurt."

"Yes Sir," I said. Dan carefully peeled the tape back from my arm. I turned to watch. There was no bleeding, but Dan carefully used an alcohol wipe to clean some tape goo from my skin around the needle hole.

"I need you to give me your word now, Trevor," Mr. Koolman said seriously. "Promise me you will call hold at the first sign of trouble, and not try to tough it out. Do I have your word?" Dan also nodded as the director spoke.

"Yes, Sir," I said. "I promise." It felt like serious business to make a promise like that to the director. I bet he could fire me if I got sick again and didn't say anything. I couldn't risk losing this wonderful new life on my second day. I resolved to myself not to get sick anymore, but to call "hold" if I ever felt bad.

"Excuse me Sir," said Dan. "You're ready to go now, Trevor. Remember to keep a bottle of Pedialyte with you and keep drinking it, and remember what I said about the toilet."

"Thanks Dan," I said. "I remember." I kissed him and thanked him for helping me before he walked away.

"A good man, our Dan. He's an excellent nurse," said Mr. Koolman. "Ok, there's one more thing I want to ask you. The take we just did was absolutely spectacular. You looked incredible, but I want to ask how you feel about us using it in the film." I must have given him a confused look, but really I think it had more to do with Annie's blowjob. "You see, Trevor, if someone gets hurt or becomes sick while we are shooting, we do not want to use that footage unless they give their permission. We don't like to use takes that made people sick or hurt, but sometimes they turn out to be fantastic shots, like yours just did. When that happens, sometimes we make an exception, but only with your permission. What do you think, Trevor?"

"It's fine," I said. "I don't see the fuss… I mean, yes please, if it makes the movie better."

"Ok Trevor, thank you," he said. "I still need to clear it with your agent first, but thank you very much for all you've done for us!" He leaned over and kissed me.

Diane had put my shirt, tie, and jacket on while Mr. Eastman was talking with me. She was straightening my socks as he walked off. "Lift your right foot please sweetie," she said. When I did, she put my foot through the leg opening on my satin sexy bikini undies, and then through the leg opening on my shorts. She did the same on my left side as Annie really did something magical. His hands were pretty. Every part of him was incredibly pretty and sexy. "I'll come and check on you in a few minutes," Diane whispered to me. "Bye cutie," she said with a quick kiss.

Annie could sense that I was getting ready to cum again. It's hard not to cum with such a pretty boy giving you such a skillful blowjob in front of everybody. He suggested we move back upstairs as we had originally planned. He pulled my sexy undies up, then my shorts. I didn't tuck my shirt in because he was going to have my shorts right down again as soon as we were in position. When we reached the walkway, we started snogging, and we didn't feel like stopping.

"Five minutes! We are at five minutes everyone," called Judine. "Makeup and wardrobe, final checks please. Lights and sound, final checks. Cameras, check focus, position, and levels. FSP's finish it up and return to the fluff area when your actor releases you. Five minutes everyone!"

I'd heard her, but snogging with Annie felt more important than returning her call. He tried to pull away, but I held him close and said, "I haven't released you yet!"

We kept at it for a few more minutes, when Diane found us again. "Trevor, you look a fright!" she said.

I reluctantly, and slowly, pulled away from Annie's kiss and said, "I suppose I better release you now. I love you Annie!" He walked away quickly. FSP's and their actors can both get into trouble if the FSP isn't back in the fluff area when the places call is made.

"I can't take my eyes off you sweetheart," said Diane, "and now I see I shouldn't take my eyes off you."

"Sorry Diane," I said. "Lost track of time."

"Lost track of your willy, more likely," she said with a wink as she pulled my shorts down a bit and smoothed my shirt out. "I don't blame you at all though," she said as she pulled my shorts back up. "He is a very pretty boy, and so very sweet. I don't understand why he's a boy, but Jeanine is a girl. She's a bit of a tomboy, Jeanine is, but Annie is more delicate and pretty, like a proper girl. It takes all sorts, I suppose, and it's a good thing too, because we have all sorts here," she said with a smile as she finished with my belt.

"I guess if a girl can be a tomboy, then a boy can be delicate and pretty, maybe a sort of anniegirl," I said. "I do love him, Diane."

"I know," she said with a wink. "Must dash. It's nearly places." She gave me a kiss and hurried downstairs.


We repeated scene 4b uneventfully, and I even managed to cum on cue again. I didn't bark as loudly, but I tried to get the same look on my face, only I couldn't remember precisely what that look was. I tried my best, but it's hard to think when you're getting your willy sucked by a boy like Adrian and you're cumming.

Annie had me ready to cum before we'd even begun 4b, which is a fluff boy's job, and Adrian is a cock-sucking master. I would be asking him for tips soon, both him and Sebastian. Annie was extremely good at blowjobs as well, but somehow it felt wrong to ask about his technique. I wanted his blowjobs to be his special gift to me, and if I learned to give him the same kind of blowjob, it would seem less meaningful. In a way, it would also seem a bit like masturbation.

Chapter 19

Before moving on to film scene 4c, in which Trevor is scheduled to be fucked on camera for the first time, he learns one of the generally expected courtesies in the porn business. He should be clean on the inside. (His agent Randy had neglected to mention this previously.) Trevor is embarrassed to learn he really needed to have an enema, and he is mortified to learn that he needed to have that lovely Nurse Dan give it to him.

"Ok people, that's a wrap for scene 4b. Actors, take five while we set for 4c. Makeup and wardrobe, do your checks please, makeup and wardrobe. Lighting, set for 4c and check focus, lighting. Sound, boom operators in position please, boom operators. Floor cameras, set for long shots, long shots only please. Walkway cameras, as you were, same position, take five. Fluff call! All FSP's report to your actors please. We have fluff call. We are at five minutes people, five minutes."

I wondered why Judine's calls were getting longer and longer. Maybe some people were forgetting to do their jobs if she didn't remind them.

Adrian pulled my sexy green satin knickers and my shorts up. "Great scene, mate," he said before kissing me and heading downstairs. "Let's have another one!" I followed after him. While he went for another bite at the craft table, I went to the fluff area to be with my sweet Annie again, leaving my nearly full bottle of Pedialyte behind.

When I arrived, Malcolm was ass-fucking the same tall, slender, pretty, and very sissy blond fluff boy, Ryan, who'd worked for him the day before. Ryan was on all fours with his face pressed into the huge fluff mattress, moaning pitifully, but Malcolm slapped him on his ass, saying "Ah shut your whining you little ponce!" I thought Ryan must be one of those kids who liked it when others were rough with them, like Amber was yesterday. Then Malcolm pulled his cock out of Ryan's ass and turned him around, still on all fours, and offered his cock to Ryan's mouth. Ryan gobbled it up hungrily.

"Eew!" I said to Annie, who was already arm-in-arm with me, having given me another full bottle of Pedialyte, "That's nasty! It was just in his ass!"

Annie giggled a bit before replying. "It all about what people like. That's called ATM, or ass-to- mouth. Ryan likes that sort of thing. Besides, he always cleans himself out carefully before coming to the studio. I mean enemas."

"Eew!" I said again. "Mum had to give me enemas once when I was little. It made me hurt inside my belly, and when I sat on the toilet, I didn't just shit. I shot poo bullets into the toilet. Fancy doing that every day before going to work!"

"Trevor, sweetie, hunny," began Annie," there's something you need to know. When you do anal here, when someone fucks you, it's an important courtesy before the shoot to have an enema. No one wants brown all over when they're doing a shot. The minimum you should do is have a poo before coming to the studio, and make sure everything comes out."

I stared at him for a moment, my mouth opening a little more each second. "But Jeanine is going to fuck me in this next scene! I didn't know!"

"Randy should have told you this when he got your script. Didn't Sebastian tell you? Didn't he show you? He does them every day because he always bottoms." I just shook my head. "Well, did you poo this morning?"

"I'm embarrassed Annie! I like you a lot, and I don't want to be disgusting with you!"

"I had a good solid stool this morning. It came out in two pieces, and it felt complete," he said. "My plan was to fluff for you, so I wanted to be clean for you in case you wanted to fuck me or use toys in my ass, so I rinsed out with a plain water enema, and I'm glad I did." I was stunned. "See Trevor? There's nothing wrong with talking about these things, and nothing disgusting about doing them. Now tell me because this is important. Have you had a poo yet today?"

"Well yeah," I said, feeling my face burning, "but… but I don't know… I mean it was all… from the champagne, I think."

"It's more helpful if you speak plainly," he said. "I am going to have a guess at what you mean. You had a poo before you came in, but it was all soft and a bit messy because of what you had to drink last night, and you're not sure it all came out?" he said. "And you've been farting?" That made me laugh nervously , and I felt better because he understood everything. "You can't keep it a secret when you're farting," he said, to my embarrassment again. But he saw my embarrassment and kissed me. "Come on. We haven't much time." He took me by the hand and led me back to the nurse's station. "Back so soon, Trevor?" asked Dan. "Feeling a little shaky again?"

"No Dan," I said. "It's just… Annie says… er…"

"He's doing anal this scene, and he didn't know about enemas," said Annie, to my horror. "From the sound of things this morning, he had better have it done before this shoot. We must be at only two or three minutes too."

I was so embarrassed I wanted to cry. That nice, beautiful Nurse Dan was going to give me an enema? In front of Annie?

"Ok Annie, would you please tell Judine we're going to need at least another five here, and then have her send wardrobe? There's a good boy," he said as he gave a quick kiss to Annie. An idea flashed through my head about a picture of Annie and Nurse Dan kissing. It was a very pretty thing to see for that instant. Sometimes I've wished I had a camera in my eyes… an eyeball camera.

Dan unfolded a small cot and asked me to remove my shorts and my sexy green satin bikini undies, which I did while he rummaged through a large drawer. "Now lie on your belly, on the cot," he said. "Good. Now keep your head and your shoulders down, but bring your knees up under your belly so you're pointing your bottom up toward me. That's it," he said as he adjusted my position a bit. "Legs apart just a bit more, that's good. Now I'm going to put some lubricant on you, only a little." I felt his slippery, gloved finger swirling around and poking just a tiny bit into my hole. He made me feel so good! I wished he'd put his finger all the way in and…

"There now. Next, I'm going to put a small tube inside you. This won't hurt a bit." I could feel the tube sliding in, still wishing it could be his finger, or…

"Now comes the fun part," he said. "I am going to fill you with a warm liquid through this tube. When I do that, you'll want to go to the toilet quite urgently, but you must stay in this position and hold it in as long as you can. Try to count to fifty first. When you get to fifty, or when you feel you just can't hold it any longer, get up and sit on the toilet. We're right in front of the door, and no one else may use this particular toilet but you. Do you understand what I need you to do?"

"Yes," I frowned. "Mum did this with me once, and it was awful! I mean, it hurt when she did it, and I didn't like it."

"I'm sorry you had a bad experience, Trevor," said Dan. "But you should know a few things. Unless you are only willing to take non-bottoming roles, you will be expected to come prepared and clean, inside and out. If you accept only non-bottoming roles, work might be hard to find, especially as a little." I sighed. I needed to do the roles that Randy chose for me so we could make money and be successful.

"The second thing is that I don't think the enema you got from your mum was done properly. It shouldn't hurt. It should only make you feel like you have to go to the toilet very urgently. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with what we do here. In fact, your friend Sebastian loves enemas. The more often you do them, the more comfortable you will feel, and who knows, maybe you will come to enjoy them as well.

"The third thing is that you can refuse this if you want, but it sounds like there's a high risk of making a mess for Jeanine, and that could be difficult for everyone. They would have to stop and clean her and you every time someone saw brown." There I was, about to make everybody wait while they cleaned my shit from Jeanine's cock! That would be far worse than this enema.

"But you don't have to go through with the enema, and you don't even have to go through with the scene. You're still a very new boy, and Mr. Eastman knows that new boys have problems and setbacks, and he plans for those setbacks and production delays when he works with you new kids. That is why you make so much less money today than you will make after you are more experienced. So choose well. Be brave and do the scene after having an enema, or if you need to, choose wisely and only do what you're ready to do."

"We are on hold people. We will be ready for places in five minutes. That's five minutes people" There it was, Judine's call announcing that I was already making everyone wait for me again. Again! I wasn't going to do that again!

"Ok Nurse Dan," I said. "I want to do it. I want the enema because I want to do things better. I want to be a better child porn actor, and you said it shouldn't really hurt."

"That's the Trevor I've come to know in such a short period of time! You don't know how perfectly you fit in here. You won't know that until you've met a few other new boys who don't fit in so well." They kept saying things like that every time I made them wait for me. Surely they were just trying to make me feel better so we could finish this scene. "Ok now, I'm going to start the liquid. It will fill you up pretty fast. Remember to hold it in and count to fifty if you can, and then you can dash off to the toilet."

"Ok Dan, I'm ready." I gritted my teeth and clenched my ass around the tube, expecting huge, painful cramps. Instead it felt like a balloon was slowly inflating inside of me. I felt like I needed to fart, not shit. Then I felt his warm hand across my bare ass. I think he was trying to hold the tube in place and make me feel relaxed at the same time.

"How are you doing, my friend?" he asked.

"It's ok," I replied. "This is much different from the one Mum gave me."

"That's excellent, Trevor," he said. "We're almost done. Squeeze tight now. We don't want any leaking out."

I clenched my ass as tightly as I could. As he finished putting the liquid inside me, I felt like my insides were ready to burst, and I felt the liquid wanting to blast straight out of me. It started to hurt a little, like there was too much.

"You need to feel some pressure so we know there's enough," he said when I told him so. "Are you counting?"

"I forgot," I grunted, still clenching.

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't forget to count," he said with a smile. "It's time. Go ahead to the toilet, and I'll close the door after you."

I rose from the cot quickly but carefully, not wanting to leak. I dashed ten feet to the toilet and heard the door close behind me. Dan had even lowered the seat for me. As I sat down on the toilet, I could feel a small amount leak out. Then I had that rocket engine and poo bullets feeling again. I felt the whole toilet shake when the pieces came out. I wiped when I was done, and I got the tiny bit that leaked, which wasn't brown at all. I had to look before I flushed. There wasn't a lot, but it looked pretty soft and squishy still. That would have made a terrible mess for poor Jeanine.

I heard Judine call, "Wardrobe to the nursing station please. Diane, wardrobe to the nursing station" as I flushed and washed my hands.

I stepped out of the loo and saw Diane standing with Dan, holding my sexy satin bikini knickers and what looked like a new, clean pair of shorts. She smiled at me and gave me a wink. Really, she wasn't bad at all.

"Ok Trevor, you gorgeous hunk of boy, why don't you come sit here," she said as she knelt beside the cot. "Good hun. Now just lift your soft, sexy legs for me, ok sweetie, so I can get your feet through these… lovely." She made a comment to Dan about how warm it was in the studio, but I'm sure it was meant to buy time so she could rub my bare parts before covering them. I was beginning to feel genuinely happy to share myself with her. Her hands on my skin somehow made me feel like she was having part of me, and it was a part that made her happy. It was like when Markus was sucking my cock in the limousine the night before and the others rubbed the champagne all over my body, and I felt as if I belonged to the whole world, and the world wanted me. Diane's touch was a smaller version of that. "Ok now, stand up sweetie so I can finish up. Oh, but I do hate to cover this," she said as she tugged my willy, which made me giggle.

"Come now, Diane," said Dan. "He has a scene. He'll have them down around his ankles before they start!"

I left my shorts open and my sexy satin green undies pulled down so she could see my willy until I turned away to walk to the fluff area. Annie and I still had a minute for a quick kiss. "How was it?" he asked.

"Fine," I said. "No problem. Bit uncomfortable, nothing bad."

"Good," he said. "Is that something you think you can do every time you come to do an anal scene?"

"I don't like it," I said, "but I'll definitely do it." "It will become much easier," he said.

"Nurse Dan said so too. Annie, he's very sweet, and he's strong, and so, so handsome!"

Annie surprised me by getting a dreamy look on his face. "I know Trevor. Oh I do know! He doesn't play with kids very often, but when he does, he likes boys, sissy boys at that." We both sighed. "Oh! Silly fluff boy!" he said with a start. "Let me get you hard sweetie." He got to his knees and did that special Annie magic that only he could do. Getting me hard was never difficult, but I'd rather have him do it than anybody else.

Chapter 20

The title of the chapter is Pussy. That kinda says it. This chapter takes Trevor, a gay boy working in the child porn business, from disgust and fear of girl parts to a point where he sees it as part of his job. Then he finds himself focused on his new friend Claire, and what brings her pleasure – what makes her scream and moan, and what parts of her anatomy respond best to his stimulation. He wants her to feel good, but how can he get past that first rush of fear and disgust?
Think of it like this. Most of us would lose our lunch if we watched an autopsy, but the medical examiner has a fascination and a determination that take him or her past the disgust to see a meaningful purpose. That's what Trevor is doing in this chapter. He is also a professional – a cute, sexy little professional who will try just about anything if it spreads happiness.
If enemas and girl pussy are just too much for you, it's ok to skip these two chapters. You won't miss any important plot elements.

"Places please! We are at places! FSP's to the fluff area immediately. Actors, release your FSP's. Malcolm and Ryan, that means you! Makeup and wardrobe, clear the set. Cameras check focus and position for St. Felix Academy, scene 4c. We are at places!"

Adrian and I were upstairs on the walkway again. He was on his knees in front of me, and he had pulled my shorts and my super-sexy satin bikini knickers down around my ankles and begun sucking me before places was even called. He said he just liked sucking my cock, and I wasn't about to complain. Roy was behind me with his camera, and Jimmy was behind Adrian with his camera. The third camera remained suspended from cables. I hadn't noticed it before, but there was a furry probe thing attached to the hanging camera, which Adrian told me was our microphone, along with the ones mounted on Roy and Jimmy's cameras.

"Ok everybody," said Mr. Koolman as he walked to the center of the mat and stood over Malcolm and the girls, already posed, with Malcolm idly dipping his cock in and out of Claire's mouth and Jeanine's face in Claire's pussy. "Jeanine hunny, stay in position, but no tongue while we're talking, ok? We know what a fuss Claire can make, and I want to be heard." After the laughter died down, and after Jeanine surprised Claire with a sudden, deep lick, making her bark like I had done earlier, Mr. Koolman continued. "We have seen some magic here already today people, and I mean masterpiece performances. I mean really, does anybody truly believe that our Trevor up there has had no experience in child porn? Does anybody believe that?" Applause.

"But that's not true!" I yelled out, before I realized what he'd meant. "…Sir. I mean, sorry to interrupt." Again, I was utterly embarrassed as everybody laughed.

"Trevor!" chuckled the director. "You are family here! You belong here, and you will turn this business upside-down! You will bring competing studios to their knees inside two years. Mark my words, dear boy." I was still embarrassed when he said all those nice things about me, but less embarrassed than when I'd put my foot in my mouth. Adrian sucked a little harder.

"Trevor," he resumed, "you have delivered two brilliant performances here so far. Dare we hope for a third? Perhaps it is your lack of training and your fresh approach to this work, and your true joy for this work, that make you so refreshingly good. The critics will explore those questions once we've released this film, but for now I have a few notes for scene 4c.

"Since I have your attention up there, Trevor, let's begin with you. I know Adrian has discussed method acting with you. For the rest of scene 4, you are being bullied. You've done something wrong by spying on the girls, but Malcolm is overreacting, and he frightens you, like a big, strong bully who is much older than you. I think every boy knows that feeling, getting caught doing something naughty, and then being treated cruelly by a big, strong bully, am I right, Trevor?"

What an embarrassing thing to ask a boy, especially in front of everyone! I nodded my head slowly and softly muttered, "Yes Sir." The room became deafeningly quiet. I considered the idea that this might be a room full of people who would all stick up for me, each and every one of them, if a bully tried to hurt me again. The thought filled me with such joy that another happy tear leaped from my eye. I sniffled and tried to wipe it away quickly before anyone noticed it.

Mr. Koolman remained silent. I wished he'd talk to someone so everyone would stop looking at me. After a pause he said, "Trevor, perhaps that memory is too strong. If it causes you too much pain to think about it, then let's find something else, shall we?"

Now what had I done? I am feeling overjoyed with the love all around me, and he thinks I've been traumatized by bullying!

"No Sir!" I said quickly. "It wasn't that at all. It was…" I couldn't bring myself to say it! I knew I would cry like a baby. I was so close to tears already. Did I have to say it out loud? "Sir, I've been caught doing wrong, and yes, I've been picked on by bullies. It was something else, something that…" I stopped again. They all loved me so much, and they were hanging on every word I had to say.

Adrian pulled his head back, letting my cock pop out of his mouth, and said quietly, "Tell them mate. He keeps putting you on the spot all the bloody time. Tell them how you feel! Put them on the bloody spot! If you cry a lot, so much the better! They love you, Trev, and you can't hide from that." "Sir," I steeled myself, "And all the rest of you, er, Adrian says I should tell you something, so here g-g-goes…" I stammered as Adrian resumed his station. "I didn't mean to cry or anything. It's just that when I said yes I had been bullied," I sniffled again, and another tear fell. I wished I could just say this and not be a big crybaby in front of everyone! They were all waiting for me again! "When I said that, you all got so quiet. Then I thought…" I had to sniffle again and rub my eyes. "I thought, about why you might be so quiet. Maybe everyone wants to be quiet for the boy who's upset. Or maybe it's… Maybe you would…" I began to sob, and Adrian caressed my ass in a kind of hug. "You see, it's like I'm having this dream, a dream with all of you people in it, and you… you…"

I cried in earnest at that point. Adrian stood up and hugged me. He called out, "Wait for it. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. You lot will be like this soon enough."

Adrian was wonderful to have in an emotional pinch. Soon I was settled, and I just rammed the words out of my mouth all at once. "I thought maybe you were all so concerned about me being bullied because you love me so much, and I would feel sorry for anyone who tried to pick on me here, with you lot around. Because maybe you all really do love me that much!" I resumed my crying, but I had said what I needed to say.

"There there mate, there there," said Adrian as he held me close. "You might not realize it, but we see a lot of this in the new kids too. It's sad that love comes as such a surprise to so many of us, but here you are. You found us, mate."

I hadn't noticed it at first, but slowly I became aware of how many people were blowing their noses at once. Then I heard the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my whole life. "Of course we really do love you that much, you daft boy!" It was Annie! He was smiling and wiping his nose with one of his hand towels. A cheer arose from the cast and crew.

That was it. That was the beginning of my acceptance, my real acceptance, that I had found the place where I belonged, that I was loved, that Annie loved me, that the place was not going to go away, and that all of it was true, not just some dream. (My acceptance would suffer its setbacks though, and I would have to go through this process a few more times before it really took hold.)

I'd been wiping my nose on my jacket sleeve. Adrian handed me my shorts and said, "Here. Blow."

I blew my nose into my shorts, and immediately I heard Judine call "Hold please. Wardrobe to the set, wardrobe to the set, upstairs walkway please. Hold places everyone."


It turned out that I only needed a clean jacket because my shorts were already around my ankles, and I would just step out of them as soon as I moved. My lower half would be naked until the end of the scene, which was the end of the film. Diane helped me into the clean jacket, which was the one that Jeanine had sprayed milk on earlier that day, and she unfastened a few of my lower shirt buttons. "You had three of these unfastened at the end of 4b. That's called continuity, sweetie," she said as she kissed me and left. "All right everybody, shall we continue where we left off," said the director. "Clearly you have your motivation, Trevor. Mostly fear of the bully hurting you, then annoyance that he is forcing you to be with a girl, and then disgust at having to eat her pussy. Fear, annoyance, disgust. Finally your disgust is eased when you feel Jeanine's cock in your ass. At first you don't know who's it is, but a cock in your ass takes your mind off the unpleasant job of eating pussy. Remember, be yourself and discover how you feel about what you are about to do. Do not act when you eat this truly lovely pussy of Claire's."

"Oh, merci, Monsieur le directeur!" said Claire, opening her legs farther and not blushing at all.

"Adrian, fear and pain. That's all. You've been caught, you fear Malcolm, and he's going to fuck you hard as punishment. Sell it, boy. We must feel pain when Malcolm's big, beautiful cock rams into you."

"Got it," said Adrian.

"Malcolm, you're the stallion. Two little pussy ponies are threatening your herd. Make them pay. They must remember you!"

"Aye sir, that they will," said Malcolm in his Scottish brogue.

"Girls, you are too busy, too far in ecstasy to notice the sound Trevor has just made with his orgasm, but Claire hunny, I need you to look after Malcolm as he goes upstairs. To you, he is not going upstairs. He is going away from you. Nothing else matters. He's left you, and he's taken his cock with him. When he hits the stairs, maybe come up on your elbows and look down. Watch Jeanine for a few seconds, and you will forget about Malcolm, ok?"

"Oui bien, Monsieur," said Claire.

"Now girls, you are going to share Trevor," said Mr. Koolman. "You two both adore him because he's so young and so cute. When he tries to avoid your pussy, push his head in. Malcolm will help you for a while, but he will be off to the side with Adrian in short order. Oh, and Adrian, we're changing that to a hard dry hump, so be sure to lube up now so we can get a good first insertion. Use a towel. We can't have the lube showing in the lights. And Claire hunny, when you push his head into your pussy, I want you laughing, and then I want you reacting. No matter what he does, it makes you want to cum. Jeanine, after you let go of his hair, I want you to give Trevor 30 seconds to settle into eating Claire's pussy, then you start eating his ass. I want a full minute of that before you insert. Now remember people, this is Trevor's first time ever eating pussy! Let's hear it for our boy!" More applause, only this time it wasn't so embarrassing. "Claire, keep that in mind. Push his face in, but make sure you are reacting to everything he does, because he doesn't know what he's doing, and his character is not supposed to know what he's doing. That's why we pay that bonus folks. It's for the realism." He clapped his hands slowly and loudly for attention and said, "Ok people, you know the routine. There's a fair bit of scripted dialog in this section, so we need acting! Sell it with your faces, and give it with your bodies! Questions? Ok, we'll give Adrian a minute to lube up, but hold your places." The older kids re-assembled, and the girls began working cock and pussy with their mouths. Adrian returned, fully lubed, and resumed his position, sucking on my cock. "Ok," called the director, "it seems there's no need to call action. Quiet on the set please," he added softly in response to muffled giggling among the crew. "Ok kids, you're fine. That's action. Just keep it going. And… roll cameras!"

I didn't have to make my barking noise again, but Malcolm had to pretend he heard it. He got up, crossed to the walkway, and climbed the stairs to our position on our walkway. He looked furious, and I felt scared. I guess that was the method they talked about, so I tried to forget I was filming a scene and pretending. Jimmy kept his camera on Malcolm as he ascended.

"Bloody, poncy poofters!" Malcolm yelled in a menacing voice. "Spying on my girls! You'll pay!" He pulled Adrian up by his jacket collar, and he grabbed me by the back of my jacket collar. I could see his biceps bulge as he lifted Adrian to his feet. As planned, I simply stepped out of my shorts and sexy green satin bikini knickers, stumbling just a bit, and walked to the stairs, with Malcolm shaking me gently from time to time. Adrian and I held the hand rails on either side as we descended, with Roy following immediately behind us and Jimmy following Roy.

We emerged onto the gym floor, and Malcolm began shaking us again as we walked. I remembered the meanest bullies and how they made me feel. I hung my head and hoped I looked frightened. Adrian had told me once that I shouldn't try to look frightened. The method said that if I felt frightened, or remembered feeling frightened, I would look genuinely frightened.

When we arrived near the girls, Malcolm gave an angry grunt and pressed gently into my back. That was my cue to stumble forward a bit, and for Adrian to fall and roll a bit. Mr. Koolman told me I could fall if I wanted because we were on a mat, so it wasn't a safety problem. I decided to give it a go because we would be doing more takes anyway, so if it didn't work out, it would be ok.

I leaned forward and turned my shoulders around so I could fall backward. I was facing Malcolm as I fell, still trying to feel frightened.

"I found a couple of poncy pervs watching you girls. Jeanine, get that one out of his shirt and jacket while I take care of this other one, and don't be a pussy about it," said Malcolm. I remembered what I was about to do, and I felt nervous. "He'll have enough pussy before he's done here!"

"Aw, but he's so sweet," said Jeanine.

"Do it!" shouted Malcolm as he placed his foot on my shoulder and shoved me flat on the ground.

"Oh, but Jeanine, ma chérie," said Claire as she rubbed her pussy. "Please 'urry, because zis, ma petite chatte, she is so 'ot and so 'orny!"

Jeanine pulled me by the front of my tie to a seated position. She quickly untied it and pulled it abruptly from my collar. She yanked my jacket down my back, but only to my elbows, keeping me held in a restricted position. I could hear Adrian whimpering in pain and fear, but I couldn't see him. Then Jeanine ripped open the front of my shirt, sending the few buttons flying that had still been fastened. She pulled my shirt down to my elbows as well. "Ok, he's ready," Jeanine told Malcolm.

"Bury his face in Claire's pussy!" said Malcolm. "This little one is mine."

I looked at Claire's wet pussy and felt scared and a little disgusted. "I have to put my face in that?" I asked Jeanine, my first line of the scene.

Jeanine looked at me with an expression of discomfort, maybe even pity, but said in a rough voice, "You're going to do more than that, little boy spy! You're going to eat that pussy!"

Jeanine looked at me one last time, showing a little pity. She grabbed my hair and pulled me toward Claire's pussy. Well, she didn't actually pull me. I walked on my knees while she pretended to pull me, and she pretended well. For my part, I was finished pretending for the scene.

I turned toward Claire's pussy and saw all sorts of horrors. Were there tentacles inside? Worms? Cooties? If I was supposed to eat her pussy, was there something in there like huge boogers that I was supposed to swallow? I was truly frightened and disgusted. I didn't have to act.

Of course, I was very naive back then, but I still don't know why they call it eating pussy. You lick, you suck, you might insert things, or even swallow small amounts of pussy juice if she's really excited, but you don't eat anything.

Just then I felt Adrian's shorts and undies hit me in the head. I shook them off and said, "Adrian, you ok?" Mr. Koolman told us to ad lib lines, so I thought that was a good one. In response, Adrian let out a loud and desperate grunt, which made it sound like he and Malcolm were grappling.

I looked briefly at Claire's face. She smiled brightly and said, "Oh such a cute little boy is 'e!" She opened her legs wider and rubbed her clitoris rapidly, making herself moan. I didn't fancy what I saw at all. Amber's pussy was pretty because it wasn't wide open like this. I didn't have to look at it. The living statue woman's pussy that was wide open seemed harmless because I didn't have to bury my face in it and eat her big pussy boogers. "Oh please 'urry," she said.

The waiting was suddenly over. When entering a cold swimming pool, it's usually best to jump right in rather than wading in just a bit at a time, trying to get used to it. As the script instructed, Jeanine waited long enough to tease Claire and to keep me in suspense with my head just inches above the smelly pussy. Then she suddenly shoved my face right into it. I could feel everything from my chin to my nose instantly becoming wet and slimy. I could hear Claire making that barking sound, and I felt her thighs close for a moment on my face. I know my feet jumped when this happened because I have since seen the video, but at the time I didn't notice anything but her slimy pussy goo on my face. The next thing the script told me to do was to turn my head left and right, keeping my face pressed tightly against Claire's pussy. This way I could breathe while my head was turned to the side, and it would look as if Jeanine was forcing my head into the side-to-side motion, using my face to rub Claire's pussy. Claire moaned loudly, and she thrust her pussy up into my face.

When Claire lowered her hips back to the mat, Jeanine gently pressed on my neck with one finger, using the hand that was holding my hair. This was my cue to make it look as if she were pushing my mouth up toward Claire's clitoris, so I slid into position. I rocked my head up and down to make it look as if Jeanine was shoving my face in and out. I had my mouth wide open over the top part of Claire's pussy, right where there's a bone and a soft area of skin, and my tongue was resting against the top of her pussy, right where her clitoris was.

Jeanine released my hair, and Claire's hand replaced Jeanine's, holding my head gently in position, though I think she made it look forceful. This was my moment. Jeanine's work was done, and I had a job to do now on my own. I felt around Claire's clitoris with my tongue, which seemed to make her squeak and twitch a bit. I took that as a good sign, so I did it again, then again. Before long, her hips were bouncing all over the place, and she was shrieking loudly. She pulled my head up by the hair and said, "Oh you naughty, sweet boy! You 'ave never 'ad a girl's pussy, 'ave you?"

I shook my head, feeling the cold, drying pussy juice on my cheeks, and said, "No."

Claire's eyes opened wide as she smiled, saying, "Oh but then of course you do not know 'ow to please a girl!" She put her hands on either side of my head and rubbed her clitoris over my nose, pressing my nose into her pussy on every stroke. She continued this, locking her legs together and squeezing my head on both sides with her thighs. I took this as a cue to nod my head up and down and rub her clitoris with my nose, so I did. She howled and jerked her whole body up, slamming her legs down to the mat. She screeched twice more, and I could feel her pussy juice changing somehow. It seemed to become more watery and more smelly. Her body was shaking like it was out of control, and she grabbed my head and held it still by force. It seemed I had given a girl an orgasm for the first time ever.

"NO! NOOO!!!" screamed Adrian.

"Take it, pussy boy! Take it dry! Or would you rather we use your own blood for lube?"

I felt first one hand stroking my ass, then two. Now it was my turn. Randy had warned me when I was going over the script that morning to pay attention to Claire, and let Jeanine take care of my ass. It was most important for me to do my job with Claire's pussy.

But what was my job now? She had already cum. She seemed to like me using my nose, so I did that some more.

She barked, then pulled my head up so my nose was no longer in her pussy. "You silly boy! You do not know what you are doing with ze pussy! You lick! Use your tongue to make me to be pleasure!" This was the part I was dreading. This was where I had to eat those huge pussy boogers. I closed my eyes, opened my mouth, and poked my tongue in deep. It actually tasted a bit like boogers, but not nearly as bad as it smelled. I wiggled my tongue around a bit, and Claire gasped. "Yes, little boy," she said, "Zis you 'ave to do if you are to please my pussy."

I kept my tongue in as deep as I could and wiggled it all the way to her clitoris. I tried to tickle her clitoris a little with my tongue, and that made her gasp and thrust her pussy up into my face again. I licked these big, red floppy things on the sides, which she seemed to like, so I sucked one into my mouth and pretended I was giving a boy a nice blowjob. "Little boy!" she wailed. "You 'ave to learn to be gentle with zis pussy if you wish to please 'er!"

"Gentle?" I thought. "With Claire?" I thought she could be fucked with a tire iron and still cum. Malcolm had been much rougher yesterday than I was being. So I went back to boring licking, which was wearing my tongue out, and which she didn't seem to like anymore. Then I felt my ass cheeks being pulled apart, followed by a tongue swirling its way around it. That has always been such a strange sensation. It tickles, and it feels weird having a tongue in the place where poop comes from. Then she jammed her tongue into my hole, making me groan.

I couldn't pay attention to that. Claire was my project, and I needed to make her cum again. I thought about how much I liked to be licked on my balls and on the area around my cock, so I tried that - licking the area around her pussy. She began to moan, and her body began to writhe when I reached a spot where a thigh muscle seems to join right next to her pussy. I sucked on that for a while, tickling it with my tongue. Then I had a great idea! Jeanine had done this with her the previous day. I licked her clitoris gently to distract her as I slid two of my fingers inside her pussy. She moaned with pleasure this time, and she didn't stop. I tried to tickle her insides with my fingers, but I didn't know which parts were ticklish. In the end it seemed that all the parts inside her pussy were ticklish. I found I could also lick harder and even suck on her clitoris. She was really moving around now, and it seemed I'd figured out how to do this properly.

"Oh, you sweet boy!" moaned Claire.

"Yes, what a sweet boy!" said Jeanine, just as she pressed her cock into my ass. "How do you like that, sweet boy?" she asked as she slowly pressed it in all the way.

My back arched without me meaning to do it. I moaned, "Oh yes, yes please, I like it very much," I said, feeling just a bit desperate for some normal fucking.

"Then take it, sweet boy!" She took great strokes and hit my ass hard with her pelvis with each stroke. Her cock was bigger than mine, but not by much. It was long like mine, and just a bit thicker, but not like Boris' or Malcolm's big cocks. She didn't really need to loosen me.

"Owww!!!" I heard Adrian howl. "Oh god let me go PLEASE!!!"

Pussy! I had to concentrate on this pussy. I tried fucking her pussy with my fingers, so I moved them in and out to see if that helped. It seemed anything I did right now was going to get her more excited. Then I had another idea. When I'd been fucked in the ass, there was this bump right behind my cock that felt like it was actually the back part of my cock when I came. I decided to poke around behind her clitoris to see if she had something similar. I was in for quite a surprise.

My ass felt so good to have a cock in it again! "Yes please, yes, please fuck me harder please," I said, momentarily pausing in my clitoris duty. And she did, harder, deeper, and faster.

I growled softly in response to Jeanine's cock as I began to suck on Claire's clitoris, making her howl. Then I reached inside, behind her clitoris, and I felt a small, soft spot on the inside of the bone behind her clitoris. When I tickled that spot, her whole body jumped around, in every direction. I bit down around her clitoris and held her left thigh as tightly as I could to hold her in place. She shouted and wailed as I rubbed into that small spot behind her clitoris. I sucked and tickled her clitoris with my tongue. She screamed and shrieked loudly, and she didn't seem likely to stop any time soon. Soon she seemed to wear out physically from all the leaping around, but she continued to howl.

Just then, Malcolm let out a loud howl as well, announcing his orgasm. That left only Jeanine. But I kept working on Claire, who was howling, almost as if from fear. I clenched my ass tight for Jeanine and began to let myself feel how nice it was to be fucked. If I weren't on my belly, the people on the set might have noticed that I was hard as a rock again.

But I felt a cruel streak inside of me, and I wanted to keep Claire going. So I slipped a third finger into her pussy and really gave that spot a working over as I continued to suck on her clitoris. She screamed, grabbing my hair and forcing my head into her pussy, and not so gently this time either. All kinds of pussy juice was coming out of her, and I mean it when I say that it didn't taste bad at all. But her screaming was very high-pitched, and quite loud. I could feel her stomach muscles clench tight with every sound she made.

Oh my ass felt good! Jeanine was fucking me harder and harder. I was feeling close to one of those incredible ass-orgasms. I could feel the electricity building. I bit Claire's pussy a little harder, which she seemed to enjoy. But the script said I was not supposed to cum. I couldn't! Forcing Claire into her screaming fits was such a turn-on though. I could understand the feeling of taking control. I made her scream again to remind myself. Then I clenched my ass muscles and focused on Jeanine, who was also very close to cumming.

I removed my mouth from Claire's pussy and rubbed the top of it. I felt bad about leaving teeth marks. Then I looked back at Jeanine, trying to be afraid, and she had to cum as soon as we made eye contact. She had started shooting cum a few months earlier, so she had to pull out and shoot on my back, and she even managed to hit my face with a small drip.

Then came the hard part. As Jeanine smeared her cum across my back, I had to lay my head sideways on Claire's pussy and look sad because they didn't let me cum. I thought about how it sometimes hurt to think of losing Annie.

"Hold!" called the director. That meant that nobody was allowed to move at all. "Jimmy and Roy, keep rolling, all other studio cams cut, actors please hold." Mr. Koolman walked Roy and Jimmy around the five of us exhausted kids, taking close-up shots of us, including my sticky, gooey face with Jeanine's cum dripping onto Claire's pussy. They did close shots, long shots, moving camera shots, shots from all angles, and then two photographers with fancy cameras came out onto the mat and took what felt like 500 still pictures of us, and then maybe another few hundred in different lights. We were exhausted, so none of us really cared that we had to wait, but my face itched as Jeanine's cum dripped down.

"Ok, all cameras cut. Cut scene 4c," said Mr. Koolman. "That was our cover photo right there, our publicity photo. Thank you actors, you may leave the set and clean up."

Jeanine peeled herself off my back, where she had collapsed. Then I slowly pulled my body back, off Claire's poor pussy. She remained flat on the mat. Malcolm had stood up and was helping Adrian to his feet. I saw Adrian's face and back were covered with cum too, only it looked as though Malcolm had smeared it over Adrian's face with his hand. Malcolm and Jeanine helped Claire to her feet, and we all began hugging. Before I realized it, Adrian and I were hugging in the middle of the other three. and all three of them were rubbing their bodies in the cum on our bodies, making a cum mess on all of us. "Bit of a tradition," said Adrian.

We stood there celebrating what we knew was a very good scene, kissing each other many times, long kisses, deep kisses, messy kisses, and kisses with people I'd never kissed before. Well, Malcolm anyway, who said, "You're fuckin brilliant! It's all true. I thought yesterday was a fluke, with you being so good and all, but you were far better today! I hope they gave you a brilliant contract, because you're worth every penny, new boy, that and more!"

"Ok, reset for scene 4c people, let's reset for 4c, fluff call, FSP's check in with your actors. Lights, complete reset for 4c, lights. Sound, checks only sound. Makeup and wardrobe, complete reset. We need all makeup and clean costumes. Cameras reset position and check focus, position and focus cameras. We are at twenty minutes. This is a twenty minute break until reshoot scene 4c."

"Twenty minutes," we all mumbled from the stage.

"How the fuck are we gonna shoot that bloody scene again? We're bloody spent!" complained Malcolm to the rest of us as we began our walk to the fluff area.


Annie gave me a big, messy embrace and licked some of Jeanine's cum from my face before kissing me. "We better get you to a shower," he said. He led me by the hand to one of several shower stalls in the fluff area. He looked carefully at my hair before putting a shower cap on me and another on himself. "No cum in your hair, so this will save blow drying for the second take."

He turned the shower to a nice warm temperature before we stepped in. He kissed me, and it seemed as though every move he made to clean my body was a sensual, loving caress. In a way, I think it was. I spread my legs and bent over, holding a rail while he cleaned out my ass, though he said it was already perfectly clean, so he licked it for a minute or so.

Esmeralda, the manager of the laundry service at the studio who had worked on stage 7 with me the previous morning, and who ran the undies game in the tea room, was at the ready in front of the showers handing out towels, two for each of us. I stood still while Annie thoroughly dried every inch of my tired body. He gave me a clean towel to carry with me before drying himself off.

We claimed our space on a mattress in the fluff area and began snogging again. It occurred to me that I had no real reason to be tired. I hadn't topped anyone in that shoot. I hadn't cum. In fact, I'd been teased by Jeanine! But now that it was over, I was simply exhausted.

"That's because you share the energy of the ones you're with," said Annie. "Especially Claire, in this scene. She couldn't really breathe for the last ten minutes of that shoot. I don't know what you were doing to her luv, but she was out of control. I mean completely. I've never seen her like that. You put her in that state, and you kept her there. You felt it. Of course you're exhausted sweetie."

"I really wanted to cum from Jeanine fucking me," I said, "but the script says I can't. And think of poor Adrian! He keeps having to shoot these scenes where he can't cum either."

Annie cuddled me close and said with a wink, "Accidents happen sometimes though. We're boys, not eunuchs. Just make a show of it as if you're trying not to cum, or that your pleasure is actually pain, and try not to make a show of it when you do cum. Do you really believe Adrian didn't cum just then? The director knows, and so does everybody else, and no one cares as long as the scene looks right. And he still gets the not-cumming-on-camera bonus!"

"The sly dog!" I said. "Good for him. It'll be nice having everybody pay attention to someone else for a change."


"All right," said Mr. Koolman. "I know we gave you all twenty minutes, but I have something very important to announce. I need everybody to be here. Is everybody here? Claire? Has anyone seen Claire?"

"She's here Sir," called out Nurse Dan. "She needs a lie down. She's fine." "Ok, can you hear me, Claire, hunny?" "I 'ere you," she said in a tired voice.

"Great. Anybody else? Are we all here?" Mr. Eastman entered the stage area at that moment but remained in the background. "Ah, excellent! We have Mr. Eastman also joining us for this very important announcement. Ok, Judine says everybody is here, so let me begin by saying what an incredible take that was! St. Felix Academy, scene 4c was simply mind-blowing in every way possible!

"Before we began on 4c, I reminded our new boy Trevor, a child porn prodigy if ever there was one, that he had given us two brilliant performances in 4b, and I asked if we dared hope for a third in 4c. I think we have his answer." Cheers and applause, once again, rang out across the stage. A very soft, high-pitched scream could be heard from the nursing station. "My dear, Claire, you have nothing to worry about. You and your responses to Trevor have made this scene the highlight of the next Willy Awards, you can count on it. I predict great success at the Willies for St. Felix academy, including best picture, best scene for scene four, best new actor for Trevor, easily, and after her performance in scene 4, dare I suggest Claire for best actress? And you folks on stage might not realize the extraordinary technical and artistic wizardry that goes on backstage. Once it's edited, this film will surely be a lock for many more Willies. We have the best sound and light departments by far of any child porn studio. We hire only Willy- or BAFTA-winning composers, whom the other studios cannot afford, to score our films. Why? Because excellence brings success, success brings revenue, and revenue brings the resources required for excellence!

"My apologies though. I have strayed from my point. You all know the rule here at Frenetic Studios that each take must be repeated at least once. Well, I had a talk with Mr. Eastman just now. I showed him some the video roughs from take one. I told him how everyone on this production has given everything they had, especially the actors in 4c, and that it would, in my opinion, be asking too much for Claire here, and the other exhausted talent, to do a retake of such an extraordinary scene, especially as we are close to running over on time. Mr. Eastman has concurred with each point, and I am therefore proud to announce, thanks to Mr. Eastman, and thanks to the hard work of each of you in this room, including you FSPs who often get left out, that's a wrap for St. Felix Academy! We are done here in the studio! Thank you to everybody, each one of you!" The last two sentences were drowned out by the tumultuous cheering, which came from everywhere except us actors in the fluff area and Claire in the Nursing station, who all gave a sigh of relief as we sank deeper into our waking comas. "We expect the film to be released by the end of the month," he continued. "I will see you all at the release party!"

Chapter 21
Dressing Room 3

Filming is completed on St. Felix Academy, and it's time for all the kids to go to tea and play the undies game with Auntie Esmeralda. Then the boys will have fun digging into Trevor's mountain of gifts, and not all of them are gifts Santa would approve of for an eight year-old boy (almost nine).

At tea, most of the kids took a guess at my sexy green satin bikini knickers except for Adrian, who just looked at me and giggled. He knew they were mine, and so did Annie, but they knew I loved being the center of the mystery. (Of course Sebastian, the owner of the undies, and Boris were ineligible because I was staying with them.) Then Ryan spoke up softly, saying, "Oh my. Oh my! Please say it's true! Do they belong to that sweet little new boy Trevor?"

I got up and kissed Esmeralda and said, "Thank you Auntie." After she gave me my clothes, I kissed Ryan slowly and softly. I put my hand on his cock, which stiffened immediately. I pulled him by the cock, using it as if it were a leash, to where I had been sitting with Annie, Boris, and Sebastian. I commanded Ryan to kneel, and I held him in place by clenching his cock between my teeth.

When Ryan let out a whimper, Malcolm shouted, "Less of it, Irish. You'll do as you're told." Annie giggled at me and told me I was simply horrible. Ryan made his escape when Annie leaned over to kiss me. I held Annie around the waist as we kissed, and then I told him, "You're a much better prize!"


The four of us, Annie, Boris, Sebastian, and me, went to my dressing room after tea. I had put Annie and Boris' red keys in the pocket of the white jacket I'd borrowed from Sebastian so nobody would think there were uninvited FSPs in the area. When we got to my room, I called 222 and put them on my guest list. Dressing Room Services sent a valet to retrieve Annie and Boris' clothes from their FSP lockers.

I didn't know why, but there was something extra beautiful about Boris. He had lovely big eyes and long, dark hair. His long, slender body was perfectly graceful. Then it occurred to me. I sat on the sofa, pulling Annie down next to me, and asked Boris to join us standing. Neither Annie nor I had gotten a satisfying ass-fucking on the set, and Boris had the right cock for the job. "Boris," I said, "will you ass-fuck us?" Annie looked at me in surprise, but certainly not complaining. When I was eight, nearly nine, I didn't really know that people weren't always supposed to be so direct when asking for things. "Sebastian, he might need a fluff boy if he does two of us." I slouched down, putting my legs up high. Annie did the same, with a big grin. We knew Boris could never say no to an offer like that.

"Must getting for lube first," said Sebastian, who grabbed a bottle of lube from a drawer at the end of the sofa. He poured some on his finger and wiggled it into my ass, then Annie's. He poured some in his hand and stroked Boris' fat cock until it was completely covered and hard.

"Must fuck first Annie," said Boris as he slowly slid his almost-man-size cock into Annie's ass, slowly and steadily.

Annie gasped and let his mouth fall open. He was prettier at that moment than I had ever seen him. He turned to face me, and we kissed passionately as Boris pumped him full of love. Before long, Annie began gasping steadily and found it difficult to kiss. I turned my head to see Sebastian was giving him a hand job as well, using the hand that was full of lube.

Boris slowly pulled his cock from Annie's ass, and it surprised me how much of it had been inside. Sebastian began to use his mouth on Annie's cock, and Boris said, "Now is time for fuck Trevor Boy." Annie and I looked at each other as Boris slowly entered me.

It feels like a very private time to me when someone is inserting their cock into my ass. I don't mind being around other people as it's happening, but looking someone in the eye while it's happening is very intimate. In those days, there were very few people I would want to share that with. Three of them were in the room with me, but I only had eyes for Annie at that moment.

I felt each bit of the skin on Boris' cock slipping past my sphincter on its way inside, giving me a shivering sensation. This was a proper cock. I loved Jeanine. She was a real sweetie, and she really knew how to use her cock well, but she was still early in puberty, and her cock hadn't really grown yet. Of course Boris was only twelve, but his voice was changing, and his cock was like a much older teenager's, almost the size of a grown man's cock. It wasn't even hairy yet. I wondered if it was going to keep growing as he got older. But not at that moment; my mind was preoccupied

I grunted and moaned a bit as Boris took his first strokes in and out, and Annie and I started doing our best to kiss again. I turned to face Boris, hooking my knees over his shoulders, and said in a series of grunts, "Boris, you are lovely and beautiful, and you feel so good inside me. Aaaaahhh! Oh Boris thank you! OH! Oh wow! Thank you!!!" I took my hard cock in hand and began stroking myself.

But Boris wasn't just providing a service. He was sharing in the pleasure as well. "Boy with pretty ass need fuck, Boris like fuck always pretty ass," he said, somewhat breathlessly. "Much love also for Annie, for Trevor Boy." After a few minutes of him pumping and me grunting, he said, "Move back now for Annie sweet ass again have turn."

I loved the way Boris slowly pulled his cock out of my ass. He did that every time he fucked me. He was never in a hurry, and he was always thinking about how I felt. He seemed to do that with every boy he fucked. For some reason it was also nicer to watch. Like I just said when he did it with Annie, it really showed how much cock had been in the ass he'd just fucked.

Annie was moaning louder from Sebastian's blowjob as Boris returned to his ass. Sebastian moved off to Annie's right side and continued his blowjob, and Boris lifted Annie's left leg over his shoulder. This time Boris did not enter slowly or carefully. He knew Annie very well. He knew Annie was heated up and loose. He knew Annie wanted it hard and fast, and that's what Boris gave him. He slid it right in and thrusted in and out just as fast as he'd been doing me seconds earlier. This time, because Sebastian was holding Annie's right thigh down in order to continue his blowjob, and because Boris held Annie's left leg up high, causing Annie's hips to turn a little to his right, I had an excellent view.

I stroked my cock slowly, not wanting to stimulate myself, just to keep myself ready for Boris. I wanted another ass orgasm, and I didn't want my cock to be too excited. I switched to my left hand so I could find one of Annie's hands with my right. Kissing him seemed out of the question just now because his body was leaning to his right, away from me, and besides, he had begun howling and throwing his head around with pleasure. He was about to cum. "Time for cum I think," said Boris. "Annie ready, no?

I had found his right hand, and I squeezed it gently. He turned to look at me and suddenly spasmed all over his body, letting out a shriek as he came hard. Sebastian kept his mouth on Annie's cock, but he seemed to be holding it steady. Boris continued to thrust, trying his best to hold Annie in place by keeping a tight grip on his leg with both hands. "Love for fuck boy twitchy ass when he cum," said Boris. "Yes Annie, cum good for Boris!"

Soon Sebastian released Annie's cock, and he began to settle down as Boris slowed his thrusts, eventually withdrawing completely, slowly as usual. Sebastian gave Annie a kiss as Boris stepped his beautiful, graceful body over to me. I felt a tremendous rush of anticipation as I saw the hungry look in his eye. Annie turned back to me and kissed me as Boris held my legs up and filled my ass once again with his almost-man-size cock. I shivered and found it difficult to control my kissing. Annie held me in place though and continued our kiss.

I wrapped my legs around Boris' back to hold him in. I liked that position because I felt as if I was forcing him to fuck me deeper, though I knew Boris always fucked exactly as deep as his bottom boy wanted. But this was certainly my way of telling him that I wanted it deeper, faster, and harder (what I later learned is called the cumming triad). Boris responded to my request, but I think he would have done the same had I not wrapped my legs around him.

I faintly heard a knock at the door. Sebastian went to answer it, and soon I heard Randy's voice. Randy sat in a chair, and Sebastian sat on his lap to watch us.

I pulled Annie's hand toward my cock and squeezed it, not letting go. I hoped he'd understand that I didn't want him to play with my cock. I put his hand back between us, holding it as we continued our kiss.

Boris was hitting that spot inside of me, behind my cock, and he was hitting it hard! I turned to look for a second, and he was smiling at me. He knew! He knew where my spot was! Annie turned my face back toward him and resumed kissing me, but I wasn't able to kiss back. I was gasping and grunting too much, so Annie just kissed me all over my face, then sucked my earlobe. I honestly don't remember most of what he did because I was feeling that great ball of electricity growing, from that place behind my cock toward the end of my cock, and I was near exploding. I gripped Boris tighter with my legs, and he pounded faster, himself moaning now.

I heard myself scream again as the jolts of electricity shot from the place behind my cock to the rest of my body. I lost control of what the rest of my body was doing, but I managed to keep my grip around Boris by holding him even tighter. Annie had my right arm wrapped in his, and he was holding it in position as my body tried to rock and jump off the sofa. When Boris finally stopped pumping, he let out a groan. He had cum too, and I was so lost in my own orgasm that I hadn't noticed. He stood very still for a moment while we caught our breath. Then he leaned down, kissed me, and pulled out slowly. He stepped over to Sebastian, who took Boris' cock in his mouth and happily cleaned the cum off for him. Then Sebastian came to me and cleaned my ass as well with his tongue, swallowing everything that dripped out.


Annie and I remained on the sofa, Boris took another chair, and Sebastian returned to Randy's lap. "Looks like you've got a few gifts to open, Hawk Boy," said Randy, indicating the pile of gifts on the table, which had grown considerably since I had arrived.

"Yeah," I said. "Do they always do this for new kids?"

"Yes, to some extent," he explained, "but usually the new kids arrive in large groups, so the gifts are smaller and, I'm going to guess, a little less personal, though I don't know what you've got here. Everybody knows you though. Your party at Cockerel Manor was special for a lot of reasons, and one of them is because you were the only new boy with a new contract to celebrate. Usually the new boys and girls all have to share the same party, and they've done their video auditions on different sets, so it's difficult to get to know them all. Most will do fluff work before signing, but on the set it's difficult to get to know all the fluff staff. They come and go quite often. Most never get signed. By the time their signing party comes up, they are still relatively unknown. But you caused quite a splash when you arrived, Kiddo!"

The five of us spent the next half-hour opening and cataloging my gifts. I was surprised to see gifts from all four of them! I opened those first. Sebastian gave me a set of gold chains similar to the ones he had been wearing when I first met him. There were two anklets, two bracelets, two chains for my upper arms, one necklace, one chain to wear around my waist, one to wear around my forehead, and two more that looked like they were also to be worn around my forehead, but Sebastian said they were to be worn around my thighs, like garters. The thigh chains were somehow made elastic. I put them all on and twirled for everyone. I got a boner again. I felt sexy and pretty! I hugged and kissed him, my new sissy coach.

Boris gave me a large box full of sexy shorty shorts, including the same style of running shorts that he and Sebastian had been wearing the night before, when we got into the limo. He didn't know what colors I would like best, so he gave me one of each color, black (of course), white, red, bright green, yellow, blue, orange, purple, and pink. There were many others as well, some sparkling, some with bold print, some that were certainly designed for girls, but they were all very short and very sexy. I returned the white shorts I had worn to the studio to Sebastian, along with his sexy green satin bikini under-knickers, thinking I would choose which shorts I would wear later. I thanked Boris with a hug and a kiss, saying, "This was such a thoughtful gift from you!"

"Trevor boy like them last evening. Look sexy for him I think," he said. "Good for Trevor Boy look sexy with new porn job. Good for look sexy for Boris too!"

I had never thought of myself as looking sexy, but the last two days had shown me that some people really did think I was sexy, and dressing up with Sebastian made me feel sexy - and horny.

In addition to the small bottle of champagne, which someone had put on fresh ice along with the root beer, Randy gave me a fancy smart phone. He said the phone's camera was excellent for stills, and ok for high definition video. The phone had a lot of memory, and he had paid for a full year of unlimited voice and data, which he said he would continue to do as long as we renewed our agency contract. I didn't really understand what unlimited voice and data meant at the time, but he said he would show me how to use everything later.

Then Randy pointed to a package near the bottom of the pile that was also a gift from him. I opened it to find a laptop computer, a really fancy one too. According to Boris, it was capable of professional quality, UHD video and sound editing, and it came with professional video and sound editing software and more. "This is for your use while you're away from home," Randy said. "But we're not done yet." He handed me a large envelope. "This is waiting for you back at my house. I didn't think you'd want anyone mucking around with it at your mum's flat." I opened the envelope to find a brochure for a desktop computer setup. It came with fancy-looking speakers and a screen that was as wide as the desk in the cover photo. "When you begin to learn editing, you will want to use this system," he said. A soft "wow" was all I could manage before remembering to kiss him and thank him again.

Of the gifts from the four people present, I opened Annie's last. It was a small wooden box with gold hardware. Inside was a heart made of twelve large rubies, surrounded by smaller diamonds, all mounted on a gold frame with his name formed in gold lettering across the top. There was a small note with the heart. I didn't want to look at the note because I was about to cry already, but Annie smiled and encouraged me. I had already cried in front of everybody on Stage 2, and that was almost everyone who mattered to me except Boris and Sebastian. I trusted them, but it didn't seem to matter. I sniffled, and then I began to sob properly. I read the note quietly to myself, thinking I would just pass it around if anyone else wanted to see it.

Dearest Trevor,

I have been waiting for you, though I did not know it until I met you. I have felt much love in my life, but I have never felt someone whom I could call my love, someone who loves me as much as I love him. You came to me two days ago in answer to a prayer that I never made. You have filled my heart with love, and it is bursting over with joy. Please keep this token, which represents the part of my heart that is so full of love for you that there is no longer room in my chest to contain it. My entire heart is yours, my sweet Trevor, but please keep this part of it with you.

I am yours to complete with the sharing of your own dear heart,


No! I was not going to pass this note around! Instead I cried out loud, and I noticed Annie was crying too. I snuggled up close to him and hugged him and kissed him as if the world no longer mattered. Indeed, it did not. The boys bothered me for a while, asking me to share the note, but I was glad when Randy told them to leave us alone. Such strong feelings need to be treated with a certain amount of respect.

When I had collected myself, I said, "Annie, I love you so much! My heart is yours and all!" We returned to another bout of kissing. Boris sighed, and Sebastian play-punched him on the shoulder.

When we felt we'd kissed long enough, I passed around the box with the heart, but I kept the letter. I will always keep that letter, and no one ever read it but Annie or me. No one else knew what it said until I published this memoir. Annie and I thought it was time to share it with you.

The heart was not a pendant or a broach. It belonged on a shelf, or a display case, or better still, the wall safe in Randy's house until I could decide on a safe place for it at home.

Next, I opened the gift from Mr. Eastman. It was a fancy sort of video camera with an equally fancy tripod, which had been hidden in my closet. Randy said it was the same kind of camera they used in the studio. When he said that, I recognized it from the shoot I'd just done. Roy and Jimmy had been putting the same camera in my face the whole time. "Trevor," said Randy, "you should understand that Mr. Eastman gives these cameras only to new actors in the Children's Division if he is confident they will be successful and make a lot of money for the studio. This camera is capable of shooting cinema quality video. With the three lenses he's included, the video viewfinder, the boom microphones, and the recording unit that attaches to the back of the camera, this package cost him over £150,000, and quite a bit more with the service contract. That means that if it ever fails, gets stolen, or even if you get careless and break it or any of the accessories over the next five years, the camera will be completely refurbished or replaced." I gasped.

"The camera is yours to use as you please," he continued, "but Mr. Eastman would very much like it if you used it to film yourself at home or elsewhere during your career, talking about making porn, talking about your introduction to child porn, talking about anything, really, talking naked, talking while being fucked or sucked, maybe just dancing naked, masturbating, or playing with friends. The customers love those at-home and behind-the-scenes clips of our actors. If you film videos with friends, we'll need to bring them to the studio to see if they want to use those videos as their on-camera auditions, and if they do, then we can pay them their fee. He has put several information sheets in the box for you to give to your friends before filming."

"I could make my own movies with this?"

"That's really the idea, Hawk Boy," he replied. "You can shoot scenes from your life that the studio can't. If you do so, Eastman will probably buy them from you, and you will earn even more than your fee for acting."

Another "wow" was all I could manage.

"Can I suggest that you also keep this at my house for security?"

"Of course, yes." My mind was suddenly filled with thoughts of going different places and filming myself naked. I felt myself getting another boner.

Robbie gave me a soccer ball signed by all the Arsenal players, my favorite team. I could just imagine what he did to get their signatures. Malcolm gave me a black leather kilt, which he called "proper boys' wear". Claire and Jeanine gave me a gag gift, which was a college textbook called Anatomical Development in the Pubertal Female. There was a bookmark that opened to a full-page, sideways photo, titled, "Vulva and vagina of a Tanner Stage 2 pubertal girl," with all parts clearly marked. On the opposite page was a labeled line diagram of the same photo. The girl in the photo had her legs spread wide, and the photo was very close-up. Adrian thought I would like something a little more useful, so he joined the fun and gave me Anatomical Development in the Pubertal Male. Amber and Ryan each gave me flowers, as did several of the crew. Khan gave me a sword that had "Hawk" engraved on the blade. He said it was made of a strong steel that could be used for stage combat, but I doubted I would ever do anything with it but hang it on my bedroom wall so Ian could drool over it.

Nellie had really pulled out the stops. She had made two custom schoolboy uniforms for me, and two separate PE kits. They were based on the St. Felix uniform with a few differences. One jacket was the same as those used during filming. In the school emblem of the other jacket, it said St. Trevor instead of St Felix, and the shield on the school's coat of arms was topped by a large hawk. One tie was the standard St. Felix boys tie, and the other featured the same St. Felix colors made into a two-color silhouette of a hawk. One pair of shorts looked just like the ones we used for filming, but it was made of light wool instead of the cotton-polyester blend. The other pair of shorts was made of heavier flannel that nearly reached my knees. I guessed these were the kind of school shorts that Chauncy had been talking about earlier because he had pinned a small card to the right leg cuff to congratulate me, to welcome me, and to let me know that he was available any time I wanted to model the uniforms for him. There were two pairs of gray wool socks, one featuring the embroidered school emblem and the other featuring the modified emblem with my name and the added hawk. I think Nellie must have seen the long tube socks I'd worn to the studio that day because she included two more pairs of socks that went all the way up to my knees before folding down. These also had the embroidered Hawk emblem. Of these two pairs of socks, one was gray with a black emblem, and the other was black with a gray emblem. The two shirts were identical, white, button-ups with black buttons, on each of which was the St. Felix emblem. Perhaps she couldn't get my Trevor Hawk emblem made in time. (So many people had done so much in a day or less to get me these gifts!) The PE kits consisted of two jerseys, one each with the St. Felix and the Hawk patterns, Two pairs of athletic shorts with the same patterns, two pairs of plain white socks and two pairs of plain black trainers. She also included two fun pairs of bright satin bikini undies. On the front of the yellow pair, right over my bulge, was embroidered "Hungry?" in fine red thread. On the back, my favorite part, was a large blue arrow pointing down from the waistband and over most of my crack, indicating my hole, with the words "BOYS ONLY!" embroidered in red on either side of the arrow. The pink pair had a large white question mark embroidered over my bulge and "What do you think?" embroidered in white on the back. All of the labels on these clothes had "Trevor Hawk" and a hawk's head embroidered in silver where the designer's name would normally be. She also included two school caps, one with the St. Felix emblem and one with the St. Trevor emblem. Finally, there were two identical pairs of black dress shoes that had no markings at all.

There was also a gift from Diane, the wardrobe assistant on stage 2. She gave me a black leather outfit that included a hat with a studded rim, a studded collar, a sort of studded harness to wear over my chest, a studded armband, a tiny pair of undies, a pair of studded gloves, a pair of studded leather boots, and to my horror, a leash that connected to the collar! Inside the box was a note from her, saying, "Would you like to go for walkies with me?" I had learned to love her, but I was not going to let Diane put a leash on me! Maybe I would wear the outfit and make a special video for her, showing me taking it off. She would certainly like that.

Then there were various sex toys, mostly from the adult actors. Some were dildos that were molded from their actual erect cocks, some of which came with notes saying such things as, "You can practice with this, but when you are ready for the real thing, let me know." Sebastian was able to match most of the dildos to the names of the men whose cocks had been molded to make them, including all of the largest, which he knew very well. The women also gave me several dildos, mostly vibrators, and one strap-on. I knew my little boy penis wouldn't be enough for a grown-up woman, so I understood the strap-on, but I wondered if they thought I wouldn't be getting enough sex that I needed so many vibrators. Sebastian said he thought the strap-on was for a girl who might want to fuck me. I would have to think more about that some other time. There was also a fair collection of kid-size bondage equipment with ropes, chains, cuffs, a riding crop, something called an electro-stimulation kit (which Randy said he would explain later), and even a folding, portable rack. I thought I'd like to try some of that stuff out on Ian. I decided I should also make videos for the actors, showing me using the toys they had given me.

Esmeralda had baked me a lovely chocolate cake with pink frosting. She wrote "Love!" in large, yellow frosting letters. I remembered her lesson to me after tea yesterday, and again I found myself trying hard not to cry. There was a whole case of half-size bottles of champagne from Markus, and a case each of orange and grape Pedialyte from Nurse Dan. He also gave me a real stethoscope, just like the one he used.

We lingered in my dressing room for about a half-hour, enjoying cake and root beer. I asked them how they were all able to get the gifts for me and sneak them into my dressing room without me knowing, and without leaving the set. "Is concierge service for dressing room," said Sebastian. "Call for phone 222. Tell where to go, what to buy, give for them money, they buy and put for Trevor Boy dressing room. Is simple." Truly this was a whole new lifestyle for me to get used to.

Soon it was time for Sebastian and Annie to go to their dressing rooms and for Boris to go to the FSP locker room to put some clothes on. Annie did something playfully cruel before he left though. He pestered me relentlessly to wear my "St. Trevor" schoolboy uniform as we left. I agreed only because it would allow me to return the rest of Sebastian's clothes while they were freshly cleaned.

Well, I tell a lie. It made Annie smile, and I would do anything to make that boy smile!

Randy had another playfully cruel surprise for me before we left my dressing room. He reached into the closet one final time and retrieved an old fashioned school satchel for me to carry.


Boris was waiting in the lobby, dressed all in black as usual, when Randy and I arrived. Randy had called 222 to have them send a few valets to pack my gifts and load them into the back of his Land Rover. I felt a right tosspot (that's an English expression) sitting there looking like a schoolboy from 1972. I'd decided to wear the long black socks.

Sebastian joined us next, wearing the same sexy outfit he'd worn when we arrived that day. Finally, Annie joined us, wearing pearl earrings, a string of pearls around his neck, a short red dress with matching lipstick, white ruffled ankle socks, and red Mary Janes. I had persuaded Randy and the boys to wait for Annie so I could say goodbye to him, but when he arrived, his mum wasn't there yet. After gushing about how cute and adorable I looked in my "little schoolboy" uniform, he sat on my lap and we had another good, long snog. It became evident immediately that he wasn't wearing underwear. (I had decided to wear my sexy yellow satin "BOYS ONLY!" bikini knickers.)

After five minutes of snogging, Randy's phone rang. It was Annie's mum asking if he could drive Annie home. She had gotten out of some important meeting late, and she didn't want to make Annie wait for her, even though waiting for someone at the studio usually meant spending that time in the bath hall sharing some form of pleasure with someone.

Of course Randy was delighted to drive him home. He could sit next to me the whole way. That was a lovely thought. I had become completely obsessed with that boy, and it felt wonderful.

I sat in the middle of the back seat on the way home, with Annie on my left and Boris on my right. Sebastian sat up front in his cute, sexy outfit, which I paid little attention to. Of course the boy on my right didn't exist to me. I completely ignored poor Boris. Annie and I cuddled and snogged the whole way. I lifted his skirt and played with his cock for a while, but when Randy saw me giving him a hand job he said it wasn't allowed while he was driving. We could play around, but no orgasms or anything else that might distract the driver.


Saying goodbye to Annie that night was nearly impossible. I had become so needy in just two days, but then a lot of things had happened in those two days. His mum came out into the drive to thank Randy personally. I stepped outside as well, intending to kiss Annie goodbye, and of course his mum commented on how adorable I looked, like a proper little gentleman. She said she couldn't wait to see the film that showed me in that uniform. Eventually I was able to kiss Annie goodnight, and we left.

I laid my head across Boris' lap as we drove off. That was awkward with a seat belt on, so I adjusted myself and leaned on his shoulder. "Trevor Boy hard in love?" he asked.

"I must be," I said. "I can't stop thinking about him, and it hurts a lot because he had to go home."

"Only these things feel for small time," he said. "If love, comes much better feels, but not hurts when only go away for night. Much better feels."

I hugged him. I loved my Boris.

"So where do you boys want to go shopping?" asked Randy. "Bah! Shop home in closet," said Boris. "Ok," said Randy. "I'll drop you off at home before we go. We have a lot of Hawk Boy's gifts to unload anyway. We're not leaving that camera in the car park unattended."


My head was not able to grasp what was happening, but my life's trajectory had already changed completely. I had just received gifts that wouldn't fit in my bedroom at Mum's flat, and they were worth more than I could comprehend. These gifts, like my new wealth, were never going to go near my alcoholic mum. If my gifts were too precious to be allowed near my mum, was I too precious to be allowed near her? I was beginning to understand that my life had changed completely because of my new career and my new wealth, but I had yet to grasp the changes yet to come in my home life. I was living in a constant state of being overwhelmed. I am forever grateful that I had trustworthy people like Randy and Markus to guide me.

In Part Three, I go all-in with making myself pretty. What is pretty? Why did I want to be pretty? Sebastian and I go shopping so I can get some sexy clothes befitting a child porn star, but I keep feeling pulled toward prettiness and girls' clothes. The studio's pediatric psychologist will try to help me to sort it out.

I will do my first live performance in front of an audience of wealthy industry executives, and they tip generously. I also learn the difference between playful touch and sexual assault. It didn't seem like a big difference to me, but a rich American is spending a long time locked in prison because he crossed that line with me, and I didn't feel very good about it.

I will also get fully checked out by medical professionals so they can certify that I am fit for unrestricted work in child porn films. That's the goal anyway.

Toward the end of Part Three, I will explore lots of new kinds of sex with many different kinds of people. In the end, I think some of them were just nasty, but most were pretty nice.

I love you all!!!