When I got home the first thing I did was hook the camera up to the VCR in the basement. I popped Cheerleaders #1 in the camera and slid a VHS tape into the VCR. It was a brand new tape, so new I even had to unwrap it from its plastic. We had a stack of six we kept on the shelf in the den. I rewound the video and pressed Play. There was a shaky little shot of a bunch of cheerleaders practicing a routine on the school’s football field. I saw Alicia smiling and dancing her heart out and I began to feel sad again. I watched with a tremble in my lip and a lump in my throat. Just when I thought I might cry however, the scene cut to black. The camera panned over to a doorway with a crack of light showing through. I hit record on the VCR.

The scene played out before me and I watched in horror and fascination. Alicia and Chuck went at it like a couple of wild animals. I began to wonder what the people at school would think of this. Whatever happened, I had to get it out soon. People would find out about our break up and the potency would be diluted if they thought this event happened after we were already split. Sure they would get flack for diving into each other so soon, but not as badly as they would for screwing each other while Alicia and I were still an item.

The come shots flew and the mystery cameraman faded off into the night. The whole thing was 22 minutes and 35 seconds long. I hit stop on the VCR and rewound the video tape I had recorded the original scene onto. I thought of making additional copies, but I decided one would be enough. I peeled the sticky labels off the paper and placed them on the tapes. I was about to write a title, “Alicia and Chuck, April 16, 1993”, but I stopped at the last second. What if someone recognized my hand writing? Forget it. I just left the label blank and slid the tape back into its sleeve.

The tape went into a VCR at a party later that night. I was alone in a room and I took out the “Girls Gone Wild - Uncensored” tape that was in there and slid the Alicia tape into the VCR in its place. Then I casually strolled out and rejoined the party.

Practically everyone who was anyone in our school was there, except for Alicia and Chuck for some reason. That was a good thing though. During the course of the conversations people kept asking me if Alicia and I were still together. I gave them all the same bullshit I gave her. I messed up. I shouldn’t have believed the rumours. I should have just trusted her. Poor me. Boo-hoo. The chicks ate it up. I got plenty of hugs and kisses on the cheek. It was nice. The guys slapped me on the back and gave me a beer instead of a kiss, telling me to just find some other piece of ass and get over it. Their friendship felt good. It was like stepping out of the shadow of Chuck’s betrayal.

After a while I mentioned to Andy, the host of the party, that I had seen some show about the girls of Mardi-Gras gone wild. He grinned and yelled out to everyone.

“That reminds me, y’all! I got this video you just have to see! Girls Gone Wild on Spring Break. Uncensored! All the T & A you can handle. Come on let’s go check it out. I just got it today. It’s still in the VCR downstairs.”

All the guys cheered and clinked their bottles together and all the chicks rolled their eyes. They came along though. It was something to complain about at least. They all filed into the den downstairs, about 20 of them. I watched them go, picked up my beer, and said goodbye to Alicia and my friendship with Chuck with a silent swig. Then I headed downstairs also.

The TV was flicked on and the group hunkered down into their seats, calling for the host to bring on the tits and ass. There would be tits and ass alright. More than they all imagined. I would have to fly into a fit of course when the revelation supposedly hit me, but I was ready.

The video flicked on and the doorway sliver appeared in the distance.

“What the hell is this?” Andy chuckled in surprise. “I don’t remember this.”

The camera floated down the hall and poked into the crack in the bedroom door. There was Chuck sliding his cock into Alicia with a cheesy, shit-eating grin. They couldn’t see her face yet. They were still sort of chuckling, thinking it was some homemade sex video Chuck had perhaps made.

“What the fuck!?”

I don’t even know who said it, but that was the general consensus of the room. I dropped my jaw as if in shock as well, sort of grinning, sort of confused, just like everyone else.

“Oh my god!” one of the chicks said. “What the hell is this? I don’t believe it!”

“Who is that?”

“That’s Chuck. But who is he…?”

Then her face turned to one side and you could see her, eyes shut, mouth open, apparently loving it. People turned to stare at me. My face had gone white, but was slowly fading to beet red.

“That’s fuckin’ Chuck and… Alicia! What the hell?”

“Oh god, Chucky,” the on-screen Alicia moaned. “Give it to me, hard. Oh yeah, baby!”

“You like that, huh? So much better than Greg?”

“Damn rights! You blow him out of the water.”

Big Tom McGaller crushed a beer can in his giant fist. He looked over at me with rage in his eyes. Then he turned back to the video. Andrea Denton looked at me too, though more in sympathy than anger. She looked like she would cry. I just sat there with a look of disbelief on my face, all the things I’d been bottling up since last night. I wasn’t putting on an act for them. I really felt confused, betrayed, shattered. I’d just held it back until now.

“I’m gonna murder that son-of-a-cocksucker…”

“Not if I get to him first…”

“That lying little slut! She told me it was all Greg’s fault…”

Many such things were said, I don’t even remember them all. Finally as Chuck began to spew his load all over Alicia’s tits someone stood up and demanded the disgusting thing be shut off.

“No!” I said. “I’ve gotta see this shit! I can’t believe it!”

Every girl in the place turned to look at me. A tear fell down my cheek once again.

“Oh. Poor guy. That fuckin’ little slut! How could she do that to him?”

“Fuckin’ Chuck! I’m gonna kick his fuckin’ ass,” Andy snarled. There were grunts of agreement from the guys and I knew Chuck was doomed. My guts burned with the unbridled evil that flowed through me. My plan had worked perfectly. I almost grinned.

The couple on the screen was now engaged in him going down on her and she put on her sleazy performance for all the world to see. She talked like a wanton little whore all through the whole thing and by the end of it every girl in the room hated her guts. She was doomed as well. Then they went into the rear-entry position and I put my head down in my hands as though unable to look at it any longer. The guy beside me patted me on the back, and the girl next to me gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“She dumped me because I wouldn’t trust her? She dumped me! Because I didn’t trust HER!”

Then I got up and stormed out of the room. Diana followed me, one of the cheerleaders, a dark-haired beauty. She stopped me in the kitchen as I headed for the back door. She grabbed my arm and spun me around. Then she grabbed my face in her hands, staring directly into my eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I shook my head, wiping a tear from my cheek with my sleeve.

“Don’t leave, Greg. Stay here with us. You’re really upset right now. Don’t go out that door or you may do something you’ll regret.”

“Do you think I’m a bad guy? Do you think I’m ugly or something?”

“No! Of course I don’t! You’re a great guy!”

“Why would she do that to me? I just can’t understand why!”

Diana grabbed me into a motherly hug. “Oh, my god. You poor guy. It’s not your fault! She’s a tramp! She’s gonna get her fuckin’ ass kicked right out of the school. You can be sure of that. Don’t be down on yourself though. You’re a great guy. Any one of us would love to have had a shot at… going out with you.”

“Like who?”

“Any one of us, dummy! Don’t you know how hot you are? We’ve all got secret crushes on you, Greg. But you were always so hooked on her.”

“I doubt it. Right now I don’t feel like anyone could ever like me. I feel awful.”

Diana looked deep into my eyes with an obvious sadness in her gaze. It was as though she couldn’t believe how cruelly I’d been treated. She wanted to make it all better for me.

She reached up and wiped a tear away from my cheek with her thumb. Then she leaned forward and kissed me. It was a very gentle kiss, a hesitant kiss that seemed forcibly restrained. She wanted to kiss me more deeply, passionately, with all her heart and emotion, but she wasn’t sure how I felt about her. Was it too soon?

It was a long kiss though, her lips pressed into mine. Her eyes were open, searching mine for any sign of balk. I didn’t resist her. Her lips felt soft and beautiful. Her breath smelled sweet. Then she pulled away.

“Some of us have liked you for years, Greg. But we were just too shy to say so.”

“It’s good to know not everyone thinks I’m lower than garbage.”

She seemed stunned by that.

“You silly, sexy little moron! You don’t seriously believe that do you?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

Diana paused in thought, staring into my eyes. Then she opened up a deep dark secret.

“You remember that time, Greg, I had just broken up with Tommy last year? And I was all crying at that party. You remember who sat there with me all night and listened to all my bullshit as I poured out my heart like a whining little bitch? Someone who had absolutely nothing to gain, but just sat there being a good friend when I needed one most.”

“Yeah. I remember.”

“And when I passed out afterwards, you just laid your jacket over me and gently stroked my hair the entire night, and you never even touched me! You were a perfect gentleman the whole time.”

“So?”

“I wasn’t really passed out, Greg. I was faking! I wanted you to make a move on me, but you didn’t. I wanted it so badly I was screaming inside, but you were the perfect fucking gentleman. I could have killed you! I even dropped my hand into your crotch to try and give you a hint, but you just moved it away. My god! Don’t you realize how bad that messed me up?”

“Why would that mess you up?”

She stepped forward, inches from my face. Her eyes were glassy and wet with what might have been tears.

“Because other guys would have taken advantage of me in that situation. You know what I’m saying, Greg?”

I suddenly remembered a rumour I’d heard that Diana had been date raped last year while passed out at a party. They say she’d almost killed herself over it, but had recovered eventually, after months of counselling. Now as I looked into her eyes I knew that the story was painfully true, and that my kindness to her that night meant more to her than I could ever imagine. I swallowed hard and put my hands onto her shoulders. I was suddenly proud of her strength. I was glad to be her friend.

“Yeah,” I said. “I hear what you’re saying.”

She looked away from me now, confessing something even deeper, unable to meet my eyes.

“Let’s just say I’ve been waiting patiently in line for you this whole time. I’m crazy about you, Greg. If you sit there and talk shit like you’re some kind of human garbage, I think I’m gonna strangle you! How stupid does that make me feel, being so in l-”

She stopped herself, but the point was made. I looked at her, steady and unblinking. She wrinkled her nose, and her lips curled into a little pout.

“Don’t you ever think for a moment that you’re not the most amazing guy on earth. I’ll frickin’ smack you, I swear.”

I shook my head in negation, hypnotized by the heated flash of desire in her eyes. “I’m grateful that you think so highly of me. It feels really nice and everything, but I still can’t get over this shit with Alicia. It’s all so fucked up, you know? It really hurts.”

This statement hurt her heart even more. She got that strained look in her eyes once again and she shook her head slowly as she looked me over once more.

“You know what the worst part of all this is? I don’t really think you even loved her. I think you were just in love with the way she made you feel when you were fucking. She’s obviously a champion at ego-stroking in the sack, and I’m sure every guy who’s ever fucked her has confused that with love. It’s not though. It’s just a Band-Aid she put on your deep down insecurity, and I know how good that can feel when you really need it. Almost as good as love itself. But she played you, Greg. She fucked you over in the end, and that’s not love. She’s not worth one of your tears.”

My bitterness cooled a bit beneath her soothing words. I looked into her eyes with deep gratitude and a whole new respect for her insight. She looked away shyly, and sighed.

I stared at her, sort of seeing her with brand new eyes. She was beautiful. She was strong and full of an energy she seemed to have to restrain.

“So then what is true love, really? I have no idea.”

She looked deep into my eyes again, and nodded with absolute certainty, coming to some decision inside herself. Then she took my hand and led me upstairs.

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