January, 2011

 

Hi, new readers and old friends alike:

 

At 17, I’ve learned you should never say never, but I must.  I have been trying to lead a so-called "normal" teen life for the past couple of years, and have basically succeeded.  However, when you've done the things I've done, especially the porn, it's difficult to return to some level of innocence.  I know that.  Yet in a little bit more than a year and a half, I'll be going off to college and that's when this erotica stuff, at least the current chapter of my life, has to stop.  Will I keep writing? Probably.  Will it be here on ASSTR.org? Probably not.  I've had a lot of fun writing and pleasing all you great (and horny) folks, but perhaps it’s time to move on, though I'll keep this site going for as long as ASSTR lets me.

 

The past four+ years have been so amazing; leading what I think of as my double life.  There isn't a kid at school that could possibly imagine the things I've done.  Really, it's hard for ME to believe it sometimes!

 

What have I learned (besides the web site/html stuff)? 

 

1) Sex is great! Girls sometimes use it like a tool to get what they want but I haven't done that.  All I want is a warm embrace and an even warmer orgasm. Sex should be cherished and relished in all its glory. It’s not a sport.  There should be no winners and losers. Sex shouldn’t be a “score.”

 

2) I'm spoiled on older men.  I don't even think about sex with any boy my own age.  Alan is twice my age and we have the greatest sex (of course being in the porn business means he has the 'assets' for it) J I love him tremendously, though we both realize to think we have a future together is silly. I know that someday I may meet and fall in love with someone my age, but I'll bet today that when I marry, my husband will be an older man.

 

3) Lying is hard, and not much fun.  I have too many secrets and too few friends for a 17yo.  I have only two major regrets so far: lying/hiding everything from my parents, and putting the men I love at jeopardy because of my age.  Regardless of what one may read here and on other sites, preteen and early-teen sex is emotionally dangerous.  Maybe I'm the lucky one who didn't get all screwed up by the crazy sex (though a few friends may disagree LOL).

 

4) "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" sure is a smart saying.  I'm not a pretty girl in the fashion magazine or TV sense, yet I've had men extol my beauty, and it wasn't just sweet-talk to get into my panties (since they all had already been there LOL).  I’d like to think that after the sex, they all realized my inner beauty.  Even plain looking girls have something to offer, though boys rarely notice.  Girls need to learn this lesson too: the hunk football jock isn't the only nice boy in class. Keep in mind, the petite girl with no boobs may be ignored, but some men call her a "spinner"!

 

5) What’s all the fuss about when it comes to porn? Except for normal nerves of being naked in front of a camera, like sex in general I enjoyed every minute of it.  It could be because to me it wasn’t like a job I had to do; instead it was fun, like visiting an amusement park.  I got to combine the thrill of sex with hunky, hung men and the elicit thrill of being “bad” doing it.  I got to wear sexy little things, even if they didn’t stay on for long.  The men didn't hurt me.  In fact, I was like their little sister on the sets, always being looked after and protected.  I liked that a lot.  And there was always the challenge of being better than the rest, which I guess sums up my personality.

 

I don't know yet where I'm going to college (Stanford is my first choice so far) but I feel like I can conquer the world, or at least my little part of it, no matter where I go.  My experiences, and sharing them with all of you I know played a large part in making me who I am, and giving me that sense of optimism for the future. 

 

My parents are the biggest factor in making me who I am.  I’m lucky in some ways in being an only child, never having to ‘share’ them with a sibling.  They will be hurt when they find out, but I’m hoping the person I will become will help them understand that they brought me up right and not feel guilty about decisions I made.  They are the best!

 

I’ll keep the cottoncandyteen14@yahoo.com address open, so if want to “check in” on what I’m up to occasionally, feel free to do so.

 

One place you won’t find me is here:

(Sent to me by a fan)

 

Candy has been my nickname for as long as I can remember.  Everyone calls me Candy.  When I got the bright idea of writing about me and putting sexy stories on the Internet, I came up with the lame (I was 14!) idea of calling myself “Cotton Candy” and using it for the e-mail address.  Like I said, lame!  And so, no, I didn’t come from a vending machine! J

 

With all my love, kisses and hugs,

Candy

 

 

 

POSTSCRIPT January 2016

What a difference 5 years has made. Instead of Stanford I'm finishing up my BS in Biomedical Engineering at Cal Poly SLO and plan to continue on for a Master's degree. My love for Alan wasn't a silly thing after all; we will be married this fall and I couldn't be happier. His age and the fact he's still working as a porn actor doesn't bother me at all, since he still saves his 'best' for me! I love him dearly.

Candy

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