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Chapter
One
When
she was fifteen she imagined herself borrowing her dad's drill and
hole saw and sneaking into the boy's locker room after school. She
was sure the toilets' stall dividers were plywood just like in the
girl's locker room.
Her
fantasies always included her getting caught and by whom depended
on her whim of the moment and desire for humiliation. Older men
were a mystery -- large, hairy and strange. Younger boys, fifteen-year-olds
for example, were smart asses with pricks who always got her in
trouble.
When
she was sixteen she decided to be a nun, even though she wasn't
Catholic, and abhorred most forms of sin. Okay, she didn't honor
her parents, and okay, she did covet. But secretly.
When
she was nineteen she'd dropped out of, or was kicked out of (depending
on to whom she was talking), college. Her parents kind of knew.
Maybe. Until she had to tell them she wanted to travel and do things.
Good luck doing this in 1954.
Wren
was about 5'4", taller if she stood on her toes which she liked
to do, brown haired, had regular features, wasn't pretty because
she wasn't cute like that, what some men saw as beauty. She hardly
ever smiled but when she did it was noticed. Wren wore dark clothes,
carried a rucksack and had adventures.
Leaving
town, like tonight, was usually a necessity. Cops, for some reason,
had her pegged for trouble right from the get-go. Sometimes she
was asked to leave a town before she'd even had a chance to get
to know the place.
She
stood by the two-lane road and stuck out her thumb. She was in Georgia
somewhere and hoped she was heading north.
Eventually
a car stopped, just beyond her. As she ran to it, rucksack held
to her chest, the door popped open. "Get in," a voice
said.
"Thanks,"
she said.
The
car took off, swinging the door toward her. She slammed it closed
as the car got back on the road with a splash of gravel.
"Pick
a station," he said.
"Anything
you like?"
He
was quiet for a moment as he drove, not looking at her. "Good
question," he said. "Hot chocolate, sunsets over water
and not getting shot at."
"Me
too." Wren turned on the radio and a Mexican station came on.
"This is good."
"Rock
and roll. Fast girls like rock and roll." He grinned at the
road. "Fast girls like stuff they shouldn't like."
"Like
what?"
"Turpentine.
Say it."
"Tur-pen-tine."
She let the syllables drop one at a time.
"Medium
fast. Kiss on the first date, do you?"
"Sometimes."
She paused. "Sometimes I drink my hot chocolate and wish something
better'd come along. You know. A guy who likes sunsets."
"Over
water."
"And
other stuff."
"Not
getting shot at. You forgot that."
"I
forgot that."
"Where
are you going?"
"New
York City."
"Going
to become an actress?"
"Doubt
it. I like this song. I know someone there."
"I'm
not going to New York."
"That's
okay."
"What's
a nice girl like you?"
"Run
out of town."
"No
visible means?"
"Or
invisible either. If you were hoping a five spot would buy a good
time, forget it."
"How
about a Franklin?"
She
thought about it. "You're okay and everything. But no."
"I
don't have a Franklin."
"So
you're not missing anything, are you?"
"It's
after sunset. What do you do after sunset?"
"It
depends."
"Shock
me."
"Sometimes
I like to take my clothes off and let people take my picture."
"More
than medium fast. Maybe not quite well done."
"You
want to take my picture?"
"I
would if I had a camera."
"You
don't even know what I look like."
"Who
cares?"
"Sometimes
I let people do stuff to me while they're taking pictures."
"Let
me see. Do stuff."
"Whatever
pops in your mind."
"I
don't have a camera."
"I
know. It's too bad."
"What
kind of stuff?"
"What
are you thinking of?"
"I
don't think you'd do it. You seem like a nice girl." He grinned
at the road. "Besides, I don't have a camera."
"Be
theoretical."
"If
I had a camera, then you'd."
"Precisely.
Pretend."
"I
don't like to pretend."
"Maybe
if you pretend hard enough it'll come true."
"I'll
get a camera. The good fairy will give me a camera and we won't
have to pretend."
"Probably
not."
"You'd
take off your clothes."
"Sure.
That's what I do when you have a camera."
"And
I could tell you something."
"And
I'd probably do it. I'm a fool for shutterbugs."
"I'm
not a shutterbug."
"Pretend."
"I
could tell you to go upstairs."
"You'd
bring your camera with you."
"I
want to watch you finger yourself."
"That's
easy. Try something harder."
"I
want to take off my belt and whip you."
"Sure
you're not a shutterbug?"
"Maybe
I need to tie you up first. What's your name, by the way?"
"Wren.
Stupid name. My mom's a bird watcher. What's yours by the way?"
"Ward."
"Ward,
I think you could do that too."
"Because
why?"
"Hot
chocolate and sunsets."
"I'm
a romantic, I know. It's too late to buy a camera."
"How
far are you going?"
"Good
question."
"Maybe
we could get a camera in the morning."
"What
about New York City?"
"Ward,
I'm not in a big rush or anything."
"Because
I live about a mile from here and I'm not going any further tonight.
Let you out soon?"
"Spend
the night?"
"You
don't know me, sweetheart. Wren. And I don't have a camera."
"I
could sleep in the car."
"You
could. But I'm married and I don't think June'd like that."
"Won't
know till you ask her."
"I
don't need to ask her to know." He pulled off the road. "You
can get a ride from here."
"Turn
the light on so I can see you, Ward."
The
light came on. Ward was in his forties, beginning to run down. He
needed a shave and a haircut and to lose a little weight. He faced
straight ahead.
"Ward,
look at me."
He
turned to her, eyes moving as he studied her.
"Want
to drop me off somewhere and pick me up in the morning? Take me
somewhere? Maybe you have a friend with a camera."
"No
cameras anywhere, sweetheart. Nowhere at all."
She
pointed. "The belt you wanted to use?"
"It
was an idea, that's all. A whim."
"Take
me home and I can sleep in the car and your wife'll never know.
Promise. Then you can take me somewhere. Bring your belt. Some rope.
A camera."
"I
don't have a camera, girl."
"Sure?"
"Nice
meeting you, Wren." He turned from her.
She
opened the door. "Nice meeting you too, Ward. Thanks."
She got out of the car, closed the door. The interior light went
out and the car pulled away, slowly.
There
were no streetlights here. She went off into the weeds and peed,
came back and waited by the side of the road, rucksack by her feet.
There
weren't many cars on the road. Being Georgia it was a warmer fall
than up north. Her army jacket was enough to keep her warm. She'd
wait an hour and then begin walking. The stars twinkled in the clear
night sky.
The
hour was almost up when a car pulled over, stopping just past her.
The door flew open. "Get in," said a voice.
She
held the rucksack on her lap as she closed the door.
"Sure
the car's okay tonight?"
"Ward?"
"Yeah,
I'm back. I think I know where to get a camera tomorrow."
"Good
for you."
"You'll
behave yourself."
"Until
you get that goddamn camera and then watch out, Ward. I'm a bad
girl."
Ward
gripped the steering wheel hard as he drove. "You just be good
until I tell you."
"And
then watch out, Ward. Tell me what you want to do."
"Honey,
I want to go to New York City with you and take lots of pictures,
but it'll be just tomorrow. We'll see what happens tomorrow."
"Tomorrow
will be exciting."
He
parked by a small house in a neighborhood filled with small houses,
some still with their lights on.
"You
have to do your duty, don't slam the doors, Wren. You'll be quiet,"
he said.
"I'm
okay here, Ward. Thanks."
"Sure.
I'll see you tomorrow."
"With
your camera."
"Sleep
tight, kid."
When
he came to the car in the morning she was gone. It wasn't until
he was pulled over for speeding a couple of months later that he
found the photograph in the glove compartment. He nervously pushed
it away and found the registration for the motorcycle cop. Afterwards
he looked at the picture, said, "Oh," and put it in his
billfold, folded in half.
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