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Thistle
Mariana was late getting home. "Where were you?" I asked as I poured her a glass of wine.
"Oh, you know, sometimes I stop at that old church on Meadow Road."
"No, I didn't know that. Were you like praying or something?"
Mariana chuckled. "More like 'or something.' I like that old church because it's so quiet during the week. It's ultra peaceful. No one is ever there. And it's nice and cool inside too. Also I kind of like the idea of God watching me when I masturbate."
"Holy! You mean you masturbate in church?"
"I do! Like I said, it's really quiet. There's kind of an aura that makes coming really divine. Except today it wasn't so quiet."
"No? How come?"
"This guy was mowing the lawn. Humpf. It was very disturbing. Hard to concentrate, you know? So I went outside. The lawnmower guy was some college kid. I went up to him and signaled him to shut off the mower. I asked him what he was doing. 'Mowing,' he said all innocent-like. I told him he was disturbing my devotions. He said he was sorry. I told him maybe he could wait half an hour or so. He said he guessed that would be okay. Then I noticed the weed.
"'You missed a spot,'" I told him. I pointed to the weed.
"'Oh,' he said. 'I thought it might be a flower.'
"'It's a weed,' I said. 'A thistle. See the little prickers on it?'
"'Oh,' he said. 'You want me to mow it down?'
"'It'll just grow back,' I told him.
"'Then what should I do? Yank it out?'
"If you do you'll get pricked,' I told him. 'Unless you've got some heavy work gloves.'
He said he didn't have any gloves, heavy or otherwise.
"We'll then you can poison it,' I told him.
"'I don't have any poison either,' he said.
"'Sure you do. You can piss on it. That will kill it for sure.'
"'It will?' He seemed doubtful.
"Go ahead,' I said. 'Try it and see.'
"'Right now?'
"'Yeah. Take out your dick and piss on it. I'd do it myself but girls aren't much good for aiming, and if I squat too close I'll get pricked.'
"'Right,' he said. I didn't think he would, but he unzipped his pants and took out his dick. He had a very nice looking dick.
"'Oh yeah,' I said, 'piss on that thistle.'
A moment later the stream came. His aim was good. He drenched it. I loved the sound of his piss splashing off the little leaves, a splattery little sizzle. And I loved the way the sun glinted off his pee, like a sparkly waterfall. I couldn't resist taking a picture. He didn't seem to mind. So that's why I was late getting home."
"I see," I said, refilling her empty wine glass. "Except it can't take more than a minute to pee on a thistle."
"True," she said, "but naturally I had to thank him properly with a world-class blowjob."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Like I said, he has a very nice dick. And good-tasting cum, too. And when he came his moan sounded very cool in that big old church, like those old-time monks singing those old-time chants. Ooooh. Oooh. Oooooooh."
Mariana smiled at me, that mischievous smile, and sucked her bottom lip as if sucking up the last of the lawn-mower-guy's cum. Then she chuckled again. "Satisfied, Mr. Curious Cat?"
"I guess so," I said. "Do you think the pee will really kill the thistle?"
Mariana shrugged and gave me another mischievous smile. "I don't know, but we're going to meet at the church tomorrow afternoon to find out."
story and illustrations by Mat Twassel |
