Today I was going to buy a friend a drink after work for her birthday. Having a drink or lunch with her is usually a fairly calm event, and I don't anticipate any great erotic breakthroughs.

But at 3:00 she sent an email asking we could leave early, so I said sure, and when she asked where we were going I suggested a few of the standard bars.

To which she responds "I'm sure you know somewhere else :-) Why don't you think seriously about where you really want to go and we'll take it from there..."

Now she knows about my former girlfriend, about how we used to go to the park to make out for lunch or to a hotel after work and she knows, though she has shown to date no reciprocal interest, that I want to fuck her, and suddenly with this strange ambiguous exchange the bouncing of her rounded brown body up and down astride me seems not only possible but imminent so I respond "Now I'm thinking very hard" - knowing in my delirium that she will get the obvious joke - then spend the next hour wandering the floor in an erection-induced anticipatory haze before moving outside to wait for her to join me, deciding over and over what I will say when she arrives.

"You are a bad girl." I say calmly, but forcefully the way I spoke to my former girlfriend before spanking her.

"What?" she answers, looking slightly startled, maybe secretly amused, "What? What did I do?"

"That bit about me knowing somewhere else, when you know the only other places I know are the park and the hotel."

She laughs, snorting, "park and hotel, I meant a bar," and off we go as usual.