The first time I had the thought of making love with my daughter Katrina was when I picked her up from her work. As she got up from her desk, she walked towards me with such love in her eyes, and a warm smile that said "You're completely and unreservedly welcome". One of her workmates said to her "Is that your father?" and she replied "No, he's my lover" in a matter-of-fact voice.
It was that remark that started me thinking. She had said it as a joke, but I found that the idea actually gave me a thrill.
I walked through the mall with Katrina, towards the car, hand in hand, and I found myself getting an erection. Why hadn't it happened before? Somehow, my mind had been closed to the idea, before. I hadn't even considered it a possibility. But hearing her say it did something to me inside. It opened up a part of me that I didn't know existed.
I thought of putting it out of my mind, but the thought was far too pleasurable. I dwelt on it, with the knowledge that I would never actually do anything about it, and that it was a harmless fantasy. She cuddled into me as we walked, resting her head against my side, and slipping her arm around me, as a lover would do.
She said "I feel wonderful". I thought "Is she feeling it too? Is she feeling what I'm feeling?" I became fully erect, and hoped she wouldn't notice. I thought "Why am I feeling this? I mustn't feel this." But it felt too good to try to put my mind on anything else.
Later that day, she was sitting on the carpet on a cushion, watching TV. Instead of sitting in my armchair, I sat next to her. She leaned into me and whispered "O-o-oh, Dad!" and put her arm over my leg. It sounded just like she was feeling sexual toward me. I became erect again.
The next day we were at the beach. She wore a very small bikini, which showed off her long legs and beautiful curves. She was running about with a large beachball. She seemed to be deliberately showing off her curves to me. But I imagined that she might be shocked if she knew the extent of my sexual feelings for her. I had purposely worn baggy shorts to the beach, to hide the erection I knew I would get when I looked at her.
Then she began to walk towards me slowly, like a model, showing off her figure. Now that I had fully allowed myself to feel the attraction, I was capable of fully enjoying it, knowing I would never do anything about it. I felt quite certain that nothing would ever happen. After all, I thought, I'm her father. So it's out of the question. I told myself it was safe for me to enjoy the sexuality, because it would never lead to anything.
Then she sat next to me and said with a warm smile "Dad, we're more like lovers than father and daughter, don't you think?"
My world suddenly turned upside down. I said "Er.. yes, we are... aren't we!" I was completely in agreement. I was about to say "But of course we must never do anything about it" when she said "Do you think we should do anything about it?"
Again I was at the mercy of my feelings and wanted to say "Yes". I fought the urge, and instead, said "What do you think, darling?"
She said "I've been feeling very strong feelings for you. Yesterday when we were walking through the mall, and then when you sat down next to me, I felt like your lover, not just your daughter."
I said "I felt it then too".
She said "Maybe we've been husband and wife in previous lives". She slipped her arm over my leg.
After a few minutes she said "Maybe we should try having sex, then if it's not appropriate, we'll know, and there's no harm done."
I looked at her and thought "Wow, this girl seems so mature. What happened to the little girl I used to bounce on my knee?"
I said "That sounds good to me. Shall we go home? Mum's visiting her mother and won't be home for another three hours."
She said "Okay Dad!" and started to gather our things.
When we got home, she cuddled me and kissed me on the lips. She put her hand on my penis and said "Is it alright if I touch you there, Dad?"
I said "Yes, it's lovely!" Then she kissed me again.
She said "Let's go into the bedroom" and walked in to the bedroom my wife and I share.
I followed her in, and watched her undressing. Then she got into bed. Strangely enough, I actually felt less sexual at that point. There was something a little clinical in her attitude, as though this was just an experiment, to see if we liked it.
I got undressed and got into bed next to her. She said "Dad, would you kneel between my legs?" I got into the position and brought my penis towards her vagina. She opened her legs in co-operation. She started trembling a little, but not from sexual feelings. She was just nervous.
I began to wonder if we should stop for now, and do it later when we were both feeling more sexy, and less clinical. I said "Should we do this now?"
She said "Yes please Dad. I'm just nervous. It will soon pass."
I entered her, and she relaxed more. She said "That feels good. Does it feel right to you, Dad?"
I said "It feels very nice to me".
She said "Let's keep going, then".
So we started having sex. We went through all the normal physical movements. The sexual feelings were there, but not quite as strong as the walk through the mall, or when I had sat next to her. We both climaxed, then we lay back side by side, feeling our naked bodies lying close together.
She said "Yes, this is right for us, Dad. Now that we've done it once, I'm not going to be as nervous next time. The sexual energies between us will be enormous now that we've become open to each other."
She was right. It didn't take much to make the sexual feelings flow from then on. We had sex about eight times a month after that. My wife had another baby the next year, and my daughter felt she would like one too. None of us ever used contraception, so it was just a question of waiting until it happened.
Strangely enough, my daughter took eleven years to get pregnant. I think it was due to tension. I was still living with her mother, and our daughter wanted to be the only woman in my life. She became argumentative with her mother, and I wanted the three of us to be happy together. I didn't want either of them to move out.
My daughter lived with us for three more years after the birth of our baby boy, still hoping that I would ask her mother to leave, but I never did. In the end she moved out on her own, to a flat just two blocks away.
At first she would ask me to come over for dinner and stay the night, once or twice a week, but throughout the next year she gradually became more and more distant. Finally she stopped asking me over. She didn't have anyone else, but she found other interests to occupy her time.
Eventually, I realised she wasn't coming back, and her mother and I decided to get married. Her mother and I have never felt strongly sexual towards each other, not like my daughter and I. But she's very supportive and loving in other ways. She has never deserved to be in second place.
I saw my daughter in the street the other day. I was wondering if our son misses his Dad. She said yes, but she didn't make any arrangement for him to visit. I've been sending her emails whenever there's been interesting news at home, or if I come across an interesting website that deals with some subject she's interested in. She writes back most of the time, but in a very clinical way, withholding her emotions.
Incest is mostly very loving, but, like unrelated relationships, it doesn't always work out.
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