My Brother Alf

My husband of three years walked out on me, and I was devastated. I had expected to be with him forever. My friends all tried to be kind, but I could tell they didn't really understand. My brother Alf understood very well, because he had gone through it too, the year before. He had an eight-year de facto marriage and his partner had run off with a musician who had been living next door.

My brother Alf knew every step of the devastation, the humiliation, the grief, the feeling of being torn apart. Somehow, having someone else who really understood, and who was patient enough to sit up with me, night after night, listening, really listening to every one of my feelings, eased the pain for me so much. I was 21, he was 28. I had always looked up to him.

I asked him "Why are you doing this, Alf? Surely you need your sleep. I'm using up all your time."

The dear man said "I love you. You're my sister. I don't want to see you going through this pain alone. I want to do anything I can to help you through it."

I wanted to show him how much I appreciated him, but I didn't know how. He didn't seem to need anything.

Although we were always very close, the nightly talks made us feel even closer. We both really understood each other at a deep level.

After a few weeks of this I was looking something up on the Internet, and in amongst all the good sites I got, there was a disgusting site about incest. At least, I was disgusted at first.

But I was also curious. I clicked on a link on the main page, and there was an article about how incest is the purest, most unconditional love of all. I thought "How sick the person must be, to think that!!"

I clicked on another link, to an article which was by a girl who had made love to her own brother. "Ecchh!" I thought "How disgusting! How wicked!"

Then I thought of me, doing it with my own brother. "How disgust....
Wait a minute" I thought. "I'm not feeling disgusted! I'm feeling aroused by the thought!"

Just then my brother walked in. I thought "Why am I feeling so sexy about the thought of making love with him?" Then I said "What do you think of incest?"

His face broke into a cheeky grin and he said "I thought you'd never ask!"

I said "I'm serious. Don't you find it disgusting?"

He said "I find abuse disgusting. But consensual incest isn't disgusting."

I said "Consensual? Both partners consenting?"

He said "Yeah. Why not? If they love each other, I say go for it."

I was still feeling turned on by the thought of having sex with my brother. So I said "But we love each other, don't we? Yet we wouldn't do anything like that....... would we?"

He took my hand, looked me straight in the eye, and said seriously "Only if you asked me to!"

I felt a thrill go through my tummy as he said that. I said "I thought you'd be disgusted by the thought."

He said "I probably would have felt disgusted, years ago, at the thought of someone else doing it. But I've never felt disgusted at all by the thought of doing it with you! Isn't that odd! When I was a young teenager, I used to masturbate over the thought of doing it with you."

Then he paused for a moment, and he said "Do you feel disgusted by the thought of us doing it?"

I said "No, I feel a bit turned on by thought." Boy that was an understatement! I was getting wet at the thought! I was beginning to feel incredibly sexy at the thought of doing it with him!"

He said "So do I".

Then he leaned close and kissed me on the lips. He said "How does that feel?"

"Fine. How does this feel?" I said, putting my hand over his penis.

"Sexy! How does this feel?" he asked, fondling my breasts through my bra.

I laughed and said "We'd better take our clothes off!"

Once we were naked it was easier to explore our feelings and our bodies. I said I was feeling as excited as a little kid having her first real sex. Then I added "No, I wasn't as excited as this when I
had my first real sex. Is it because it's so naughty?"

My brother laughed "Probably. But also probably because we really do love each other, more than our partners did."

I went really serious and took my brother by the hand. I said "I really do love you."

He said "I know. I love you too!"

I lay gently back and said "Let's have sex."

He climbed over me and slid inside me. I was amazed at what I was feeling. Sex with my husband had never felt as good as this. Was it because my brother and I had developed closeness and intimacy during our nightly talks? Or was it just because he was my brother? Or was it exciting because it was taboo? All I knew was that I was so excited I was very near climax already.

"Oh Alf," I said "I should have had you as my partner, not him!"

Alf was overcome with feelings too. He said "I never dreamed it could be like this! Oh, god, this is so sexy!"

I tried to reply but all that came out were animal noises "Wa-a-aughhh! Ah-nggg! R-r-r-rooowwwwww! Agh! Agh! aghiiiiihhh! Oh ffff! My head curled up towards him. My feet flexed. I felt surrounded by other people, though there wasn't anyone else in the room. I felt more sexual and more excited than I ever had in my life before. I felt I was bathing in sunlight, though we were indoors. I felt myself merge with him. I lost all sense of where I ended and he began. I heard his voice yelling, in climactic ecstasy, as though from a distance, although he was wrapped around me and through me. I felt his sperm gushing into me. I felt fulfilled.

Just this morning I was disgusted by the idea of incest. Within seconds of trying it, I became it's most passionate devotee. I felt liberated. Just this morning I was in agony over the breakup of my marriage. Now I was happy that he was gone. I felt blissful.

"Oh Alf", I thought to myself, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

We lay together. I was sobbing tears of joy, my head pressed into his neck. Alf was trembling. He whispered "I never dreamed it could be like this!"

When my husband rang up to talk about the divorce and the division of belongings, I was laughing and joking and happy. He was puzzled. He changed his mind, and began to talk about the possibility of getting back together. I wouldn't hear of it. I laughed and said "No way!" That made him even more puzzled. He thought I must have been on drugs. I said "No, I just think this divorce is the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

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