Extracts from a Diary

I recently found a diary I used to keep when I was a teenager, and I thought I'd send in the relevant on-topic parts. I used to write in it whenever I needed to get things off my chest.

1st November.
Dear Diary. I'm so disappointed! I really thought Russell could be the one! He seemed so nice, in some ways, though I didn't know him long enough to know him well. But after our dinner in the restaurant last night, he lit up a cigarette! Yuck! I'm not kissing him! He'd smell of stale smoke.

12 December
Dear Diary, Disappointed again! Peter seemed so nice, for the first couple of weeks. But then he started running his whole family down! If he's against them, he might turn against me one day! Besides, I wouldn't want to live with such an angry, negative guy.

30 January
Oh damn! My new boyfriend seemed so cool! Then I saw him taking some drugs. No way! If I married him, all our money would go on drugs, not on food. Besides, I want someone I can talk to, not someone who's too brain-damaged and out of it to make sense.

20 February
Oh damn again! Jason turned out rotten. I'm not even going to write about what I saw him doing, I'm just going to dismiss him from my mind, and clarify what I do want in a guy.

I want a guy who is aware of me, and what I say, and responds to both, with intelligence. Someone who is mature enough to believe in me, and himself, yet tells me when I'm being stupid. Someone who is sensible, yet light-hearted, playful, fun to be with, who can have a great time without having to rely on booze, cigarettes or drugs. Someone who inspires me, someone who makes me want to take care of him. Someone I just can't help loving. Someone who knows that together, we can handle anything.

Hey, I think I just described Daddy!

Yes, I think I want someone just like my Daddy!

3rd March
Ah, let's face it! There's no-one just like my Daddy.

9th November
Shortly after my entry on 3rd March I met someone really special. He fit the description perfectly, so we started going out together. His name is Craig and he's a wonderful, wonderful man. I honestly think we could have a happy life together. I do feel a lot of love for him. If he asks me to marry him, I'm going to say yes.

3rd January
On New Year's Eve, Craig asked me to marry him! I almost said yes, but I felt a warning somewhere in the back of my mind. There was something missing.

I sat on the beach alone the next day, watching the waves come in, trying to feel what it was in the back of my mind that was warning me, telling me not to say yes.

I lay back in the shade of my beach umbrella and closed my eyes. Then it hit me! I realised what was missing! I didn't love him anywhere near as deeply as I love my Daddy.

That's important. I feel I should wait until I love someone at least as much as I love my Daddy, if not more!

2nd February
Well Craig's out of my life now, he left after I turned him down. I dated Bill for a few nights, but he dumped me as soon as he found out that I'm a virgin and that I don't believe in sex without a lifetime commitment.

(Sigh) Let's face it, there's no-one like Daddy.

Daddy's not perfect at all. He has lots of faults and weaknesses. But I love him as much for his faults and weaknesses as I do for his strengths and skills. He's perfect for me. If he wasn't my father I'd want to marry him!

3rd February.
Holy shit! I think Daddy saw my diary yesterday. I left it out on the table. I hope he didn't read it! How embarrassing! I'm going to be much more careful with it from now on.

4th February
Today Daddy brought me home some flowers! He was so sweet! I think he must have read my diary yesterday! He also bought himself some weights and has been working out in the garage, toning his muscles! I think he may be trying to impress me! How awesome!

5th February
Earlier this evening, Daddy took me out to dinner! It was a romantic candlelit restaurant, with beautiful tasty food. He was attentive to me all evening, and we chatted about so many different things. I feel so much love for him. There is a slight pain in my chest, knowing he can never be my boyfriend. When, oh when is my boyfriend going to come along? I'm not fussy - just as long as he's exactly like my Dad in every way, that will do. Oh I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

6th February
Daddy still spends an hour or so a day working out in the garage. He wants to get fit and look fit.

He and I went for a walk down to the harbour. I love his company so much. I hugged him and went on hugging him. I couldn't pull myself away when I was supposed to. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?

8th February
Daddy and I had a picnic. We had really nice foods, enough for two, on a blanket overlooking the duck-pond in the local park. Yep, he read my diary alright. I'm certain of it. He's been even nicer than normal ever since. In fact he's more or less acting like a boyfriend.

He told his work he couldn't do any more overtime, he had to get home to his daughter each day. I love that! I no longer hang out with my friends, either. When it's time for Daddy to come home, I'm always home now too, waiting for him!

11th February
This is getting serious! I've forgotten all about meeting a nice boy. Today I kissed Daddy on the lips, as we've been doing lately, and our tongues briefly touched. I felt a thrill down to my toes. Daddy and I have always loved each other, but it's never been more than mildly erotic. Lately I've been feeling really sexual whenever I think about him.

12th February
What's happening to me? Today I spent all day, walking around thinking of Dad, in an aroused state not very far off climaxing. What am I doing! Nothing can ever come of this. He's my father. Not my lover. Why can't I just shake this off? Am I falling in love with my own father? I've always loved him, but it's becoming even deeper now.

I could go out, meet someone in a bar and get laid, but that would lower my standard of waiting for my lifetime relationship, and even if I didn't have that standard I wouldn't fuck anyone else. I only want to fuck my father!

There, I've said it! I've put it into words. It's good to get it off my chest.

14th February
Valentine's Day! Daddy actually bought me a Valentine's Day present! It was so beautiful. But I'm supposed to be his daughter, not his Valentine! Not his sweetheart! I said "Daddy! Oh Daddy!" and burst into tears and threw myself into his arms.

He was very concerned and asked me what was wrong. I could hardly get my words out, but in between sobs I managed to say "I want you to fuck me Daddy. I want you to be my lover. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have your babies, Daddy."

He said "God help me, I want all those things too!"

After saying that Daddy picked me up and carried me to his bed. It felt so good to be carried in his arms I actually stopped crying. Dad placed me tenderly and lovingly on his bed, then started to undress. He stopped and said "Oh no. No! What am I doing!"

I got up immediately and said "Oh please Daddy, don't stop now. I need you. I love you. I want to fuck you Daddy. I want to be fucked by you. Please, Daddy, let's have sex."

He said "Oh darling, I want to, with every fibre of my being. But society thinks it's wrong! It's taboo."

"Daddy, I don't care what society thinks. I love you and you love me. That's the only thing that matters."

I quickly got my clothes off. Then I took Daddy by the hand, helped him get the rest of his clothes off and gently led him to the bed. I said "Daddy, it's time. It's the right time for us. It's time for us to be in love now. It's Valentine's Day. It's the best day all year for making love."

Daddy put his arm around me. I stood up on tip-toes so I could reach his lips and kissed him. I put my hands around the back of his neck and pulled him down towards me softly.

"Everything is going to be alright, Dad" I said. "We love each other. Make love to me Dad."

I lay back on the bed gently pulling him towards me. As he climbed over me I opened my legs for my Daddy. My wonderful Daddy. I said softly "Oh Daddy, I love you so much. This feels so wonderful, so special. I've been waiting for the right man to come along Daddy, and it's you. You're the right man. You're the right man for me."

Daddy knelt between my legs. His erection was hard and firm. I opened my legs wide, hoping he would enter me before I start climaxing. Daddy was my man. He was my man now. And he would be mine forever.

As he entered me, I braced myself for him to break through, finally removing my virginity. I felt a slight sting, but it wasn't very bad, probably because I was so wet, so full of desire. If you could gather all the candle lights of love I have felt for other men, and the roaring bonfire of love I felt for the man I almost married, it still wouldn't compare to the enormous sun of love I feel for my Daddy.

It was so exciting to feel my Daddy's big strong penis inside me. I knew I wouldn't be able to delay the climax that was coming. As it hit me I curled up towards my Daddy, while tears of joy streamed down my cheeks, my voice out of control, going "AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH!" for what seemed like a full minute.

As the climax passed, I prepared to let go of Daddy and let him pull out. But that didn't happen. He lay there, with his erection still long and strong inside me. Then after about a minute he began to fuck me again!

I whispered "Oh Daddy, this is wonderful! I never thought this could be possible, Daddy! I love having sex with you. It's more wonderful than I've ever dreamed of." I put two middle fingers in my mouth and gently drew them out again, sucking them. I felt like a little baby girl, bathing in the most precious love of my Daddy. (Later Daddy told me that I used to do that when I was a baby.)

Daddy's strong hard penis was thrusting into me again and again, sending the most beautiful sexual feelings all over me. My vagina softly surrounded his penis and gave way to it. Emotionally I had opened up completely to my Daddy. His face reached down to kiss me and I opened my mouth, letting our lips softly touch and our tongues softly touch too.

Every time Daddy thrust in, I felt a sexual thrill explode in all of the parts his penis was touching and it was like being rooted by a god. When my Daddy was deep inside me, the erotic sensation was overwhelming, making me feel like a goddess of pleasure.

With every thrust from Daddy, the sexual feeling was mounting, building, and I was beginning to approach climax again. Just as I began to climax, Daddy gasped, his eyes rolled upwards, and his deep male voice called "OHHH!" I felt such a thrill it brought me right to the very brink of climax! Then Daddy let loose a strong jerk, flooding me with his thrilling sperm, and I began to climax again.

We were both calling out "OH! OH! OH!" together, over and over again with every exciting contraction, him in his rich deep voice and me with my soft little high voice. Daddy was flooding me with his sperm, again and again and again! I felt filled with the greatest love I have ever known.

Dad's jerking movements continued, spraying me inside with his powerful love and his sperm, and I continued to climax with him. We were both in heaven. In heaven together. My vagina was throbbing with amazing sexual delight around my daddy's penis. Then our climaxing began to relax, and settle down a little more, then faded away, leaving us both in an afterglow, like a radiant sunset of love.

Daddy and I lay in each other's arms. I kissed his cheek over and over again. Then we gradually got up and sat on the edge of the bed. I nestled my head into Daddy's shoulder and neck and put my arm around him, knowing in my heart that it would always be like this. That we would always be in love. That we would always be together.

14th February
Well, well! My old Diary, I thought I'd lost it. I'd better add one more entry. I found this Diary under a blanket in an old box as I was cleaning out the attic today, decades after the last entry. I never did add any more after that last entry, when Dad and I first made love, because our lives were so full after that, and I was so happy, there was no more to get off my chest.

We had our difficulties and struggles, often financial, but by working side by side to make ends meet, or working together to solve problems, the problems and difficulties made us grow even closer, have even more trust in each other, and deepen our love even more than before.

One small difficulty I had was that for the first few years I was acting mainly as Dad's daughter, rather than his partner. In spite of Dad's best efforts to gently encourage me, I had difficulty making decisions for us, such as picking out furniture and so on. I found it difficult to regard myself as his equal, and it took me several years to make the adjustment.

Even today I still sometimes catch myself saying "What should I do about this, Daddy?", asking him for direction, even though I'm an adult now. Of course he replies "What do you think we should do?" and he often does what I say! Ah, we are having such a happy life together! He is definitely my true love and life partner. I couldn't possibly be as happy with anyone else as I am now!

All I have left to say now is that we must all work together, step by step, patiently, to overcome society's terrible attitude towards deep family love. By being so hostile towards it, they are crushing a lot of great fulfilment and great love, (not to mention great sex!), in the world.

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