Pissing on Patti

By: Suzy Suburbanite

Chapter 1

I didn't start my day intending to find a new femme. For the past four months, my girlfriend, Sasha, kept my pussy happy and wet. So, like I said, I didn't intend to go out looking. That is...

My friend Janet and I spent the day at a pride event. We shouted and yelled and screamed for our rights. Janet was much more into the whole political thing, but I always liked hanging out at pride days for the available pussy. This day however, the cute femmes were all clustered into their tight little high school-like cliques, which pissed me off to no end.

"Are you going out tonight?" I enquired of my stout, fuzzy-faced friend as she dropped me at my apartment.

"No, I think Lisa and I need to discuss what was said today at the rally."

"You fucking pussy."

Janet just shook her head at me as I trotted up the stairs to my apartment.

Ok. Yeah. I'm a dyke. I'm not just a regular, run-of-the-mill dyke, but what some would call a leather dyke. Actually, I'm more of a blue jean dyke, but I do still get off on fucking femmes...the more girly-girl, the better. I like to hear them whine and cry. I like it when they beg for me to fuck them harder with my strap-on or my fist.

So anyway, I go into my apartment and there is a phone message from Sasha explaining that she was called to work and had to travel to Reno that evening.

`Fuck!' I was even angrier now, `first those stupid femme cunts today and now Sasha is gone.'

I was pissed that I couldn't work out my anger on my femme girlfriend's cunt.

`What to do? Who to do?' I pondered for a moment, `Yeah, that's the ticket.'

I decided to go pickup a straight femme girl and give her what for. Like many of my friends, I just love to turn-out straight girls and teach them what fucking is really all about. And I knew just the bar.

Chapter 2

Saturday night 10:30 PM. This time of night I usually had my girlfriend bent over the arm of the sofa, fucking her wildly. So, since I wasn't doing that my mood now wasn't any better, if anything, it was worse than earlier in the day. I was entering the bar at the local Bennigan's.

The first time Sasha and I ate at this joint, I couldn't believe all the prime pussy running around. From the cute high school and college girls waiting tables, to the desperate young worker bees out looking for "love" from some guy, the place was chock-full-o'-cunt.

So here I am, a butch forty-six year-old dyke entering the great bastion of mallscape singles bars. The bar was creepy as hell: bad pick-up lines blended with cheap perfume and cheaper, fruity cologne to create an atmosphere of suburban desperation and broken, white-picket-fence dreams.

`Why the fuck am I here?' I thought as I drew my sights on the pussy sitting at the bar; all lined-up like ducks at a shooting gallery, `That's why!'

And THAT was a little cutie sitting about mid way down the bar. She looked half drunk, and was a serious girly-girl. The cunt wore a pink angora sweater for Christ's sake. Oh man, pink angora, "mmmmm".

"Move, I'm sitting here," I growled at the little boy in his sweater-vest who sat next to my fuck-o-the-night.

He started to say something, but when you're a wimpy-assed white boy (C'mon, give me a break...a fucking sweater vest?) and you're suddenly confronted with a six foot tall, crew-cutted, stanky, blue jean-wearing dyke with an attitude problem...

"Sure," he sulked away with his Bud Light.

"Makers Mark with a Fat Tire back," I told the bartender, who was laughing at sweater-vest boy running towards the other end of the bar with his tail between his legs.

"You got it Denise," the bitch behind the bar shocked me when she said my name, at least until I recognized her eyes.

I couldn't remember her name for the life of me, but I do remember those eyes looking up at me from between my legs. Maybe a year or so ago, my girlfriend and I picked her up at the Butterfly, a soft lezzy bar.

"Oh yeah, hi...um."


"Zoe, yeah, nice to see you again," I was polite, but my interests clearly lay in little miss pink angora, and thankfully Zoe caught-on quickly.

"On me."

"Fuck...thanks," I said, a bit stunned at her offering of free booze.

`That bitch must need some,' I thought; remembering that she sucked cunt ok, but nothing too remarkable. I watched her ass jiggle away as I recalled that she was real vanilla. She wouldn't do any of the kink that I like, `well...if little pinky doesn't work out...'

It took me all of ten minutes to get miss pinky's attention away from the preppy dicks who circled her like a pack of confused fags. "Can I buy you a drink baby?" "Want to ride in my Lexus baby?" "Can I give you a beach house baby?" they sang in their sensitive-boy voices.

What a bunch of pathetic, fucking losers. Get to the point fellas.

"Hey Pinky," she turned towards me.

`Shit, she's cute.'

"My name's Patti, Patti Precious," she was bombed out of her gourd as she tried to act indignant at my calling her "pinky".

"No...fucking...way," I guffawed at the little blonde slut.

"Mmm, you smell good. What is that?" she asked in a glazed, drunken slur.

"Old Spice," I snarled at her.

Oh man-o-man, I was going to fuck this one silly. Pinky, Patti...Patti Precious was going to know my dick and my cunt very soon.

"Look, I don't have time for all the bullshit," I began as I grabbed Pinky's hand and led it towards my package, "My dick is bigger, harder and better than theirs, and I want to take you home and fuck you."

Her eyes shot open in amazement when her hand grasped the long, thick plastic dick inside my jeans.

"Oh wow."

"Yeah...wow, now let's go," I commanded the drunken straight girl.

Hey, it's not the first time I took advantage of a woman's sobriety, or lack thereof.

"Bye Denise," Zoe, the bartender shouted from a distance.

"Oh, your name is Denis?"

Shit, Pinky was fucked-up, but what the hell. If she thought I was a guy, then let her keep thinking it...she would learn to suck my cunt soon enough.

Chapter 3

"Shhhhh, my roommates will hear," Patti begged me to be quiet as we entered her dark apartment.

"Lead on Pinky," damn she had a great ass, and, even in her drunken state, a nice wiggle inside her little black knit skirt.

I pushed her bedroom door closed as she started to get undressed.

"No Pinky, leave it on," I stopped the little fuck bunny from removing her sweater.

I hugged her from behind, running my hands over her firm tits and down under her skirt to her hot little cunt.

`Damn, pantyhose...I fucking hate pantyhose.'

"Get on the bed Pinky...c'mon, on all fours...no, no put your knees together." I commanded the willing straight slut.

My hands rubbed her thighs and broad ass before I pushed her tight skirt up around her waist.

"I hate pantyhose Pinky," I snarled right before ripping the hideous things down the center seam, exposing her ass.

Her panties, or more like butt-floss, were next as I grabbed the string wedged in her ass and ripped that apart. Her cunt cleft was big and furry. And man was that cunt ripe: pissy and fragrant...just raunchy enough for my tastes. Pinky's cuffs definitely didn't match the collar, if you know what I mean.

Little straight girl was whimpering as I tore her panties away from her cunt, and was trying to crane her head back to look at me when she heard my belt buckle being loosened. I just gave her a swat on the ass and told her to lay her head flat on the bed.

"Ever been fucked by a girl Patti Precious?"

"No, that's gross," she was almost completely out of it, still unaware that she was going to be fucked by a girl right shortly.

"Damn Pinky, your cunt is a fucking swamp," I marveled at the thickness and quantity of the cream her cunt was pumping, "You already been fucked tonight bitch?"

"No," she was obviously embarrassed by her cunt; probably one of those straight girls who's too uptight to even look at her hole in a mirror, much less like the way it smells.

I dropped my jeans around my ankles and stepped-up to the plate, ready to swing my mighty bat into the Precious pussy. The sound of my dick as I slapped her ass with it could easily be heard outside the confines of the room. The straight girl whimpered and moaned as I striped her ass with ten inches of randy dyke dick.

"Oh my God, you're huge," fear filled her voice as she waited, ass in the air, for me to take my pleasure from her body.

`Am I the luckiest dyke daddy on the planet, or what?' I stared down triumphantly at this little blonde, pink angora-wearing fuck toy before me.

"What do you want Pinky?" I teased her with the tip of my plastic dick, rubbing the fat head around her sodden cunt and bumping her clit, "Huh Patti?"

"Oh Denis please put it in me," she whispered, breathlessly.

"Do you want me to fuck you in the ass?"

"No, no...in my...my...vagina."

Oh fuck the "V" word. Women who use the V-word haven't a clue on how to use that tasty gash between their legs. It's a cunt damn it. She was probably one of those "Vagina Monologues" spouting, sex-hating, sex equates violence idiots. Just because it ain't gentle and based in emotional love doesn't mean a good hard fuck isn't fun.

"You mean your cunt Pinky? Do you want daddy to fuck your tight cunt with her big mean cock?"

"Un huh."

"Say it then bitch. Beg for my big dick. Tell daddy what you want." God I loved these games.

"Please daddy, fuck my cunt."

It was a start, but far from the volume I was looking for. I was here to turn Pinky out, and that meant her roommates need to know what a slut she really is.

I inched my dick just into her hole, "What baby, I couldn't hear you...louder."

"Fuck my cunt," eh? Better, but it was going to take a bit more coaxing on my part.

"Louder Pinky," I fed my dick in a bit further.

"Fuck me, fuck my cunt," now that's more like it. I bet that one woke up the roommates and the next one would really get their attention.

"Louder slut!"

"Fuck my cunt!"

Oh yeah, now we're talkin'. I was getting into my rhythm now, almost balls-deep into the Precious cunt. I couldn't believe how thick and slick her cunt cream was. The sounds were fucking hot, "Slurp, slurp...thwacka, thwacka..."


By the time I was up to speed, she was screaming her little pink lungs out.

"Say fuck my cunt with your big dyke dick," I demanded as I let it rip and really gave her a pounding.

She squealed and groaned, "Oh Daddy...FUCK. OH FUCK...MY...CUNT. OH...FUCK MY CUNT WITH YOUR BIG DYKE DICK."

I could have been a three-legged, one-eyed monster at that point for all she knew or cared. Pinky probably never came like that in her entire life. She slammed her big ass back at me as I fucked up into her. Faster and faster, harder and harder we fucked. I slapped her pantyhose covered ass and rode my pink filly to the finish line.

She was a silent screamer, well at least until her dam burst all the way. Then she was grunting in a long, drawn-out "unnnngghhhh" like she was struggling with a week-old turd.

Patti Precious collapsed forward onto the bed. Her well-fucked cunt was still humping up into the air as if my dick was still inside her. The girl mumble incoherent straight girl things like, "The best" and "Where did you learn that" and my most favorite straighty phrase, "I love you".

`Fuck yeah Pinky, you're about to love me,' I grinned to myself as I sat on the floor and removed my boots and blue jeans.

Chapter 4

I removed my jeans jacket and harness and stood ready to give Patti Precious her first taste of a ripe and seasoned cunt. Little Pinky was still slumped forward on the bed, her ass in the air, her torn pantyhose and panties framing her furry cunt.

`Hmm...maybe I should give her ass a ride before I...' that thought left my mind quickly as she began turning on her back. I knew I would need to get my cunt on her mouth quickly, before she had time to think.

Kneeling by the side of the bed, I began rubbing her tits through the fuzzy angora. There is something so hot about femme girly-girls in angora.

I grabbed her hands and placed them on her own tits, "Rub them for me Pinky; I want to get off watching you play with your tits."

The girl closed her eyes and began caressing and pinching her tits through the thick angora as I stroked her cunt through what remained of her pantyhose. Soon little Patti Precious was all moans and groans, and that was my signal to get some serious face time with good ol' Pinky.

"Oh Denis," she called out, "you're so good to me."

I kissed her hard in the mouth as I led her right hand down to her cunt, "Fuck yourself Pinky."


"And Pinky," I said as I stood on the bed above her, my feet on either side of her head, "it's Denise, not Denis."

"Oh my God you're a woman," she was all freaked, at least until I sat my steaming cunt squarely on her mouth.

"C'mon bitch, eat fucking cunt," oh yeah, her roommates heard that for sure.

Little straight girl--"No, that's gross"--Patti either licked or suffocated, and right quickly she started moving her lips and tongue so that I allowed her to breathe.

It took her few moments to settle down and stop struggling under my hot cunt, but once she did, she was all moans and groans again. The bitch couldn't suck cunt for shit. No skill whatsoever, but damn, she looked good wearing my mustache.

I decided to make things a bit less complex for her, as after I repeatedly told her to "suck my clit" the dumb girly stuck her tongue up my hole. Leaning back on my hands, I scootched forward so her nose was up my cunt and her tongue was in my ass.

"Eat my asshole Pinky," I was beside myself as straight girl stuck her tongue right up my ass.

"Oh fuck yeah!"

Within a scant few moments I was riding her face hard, using her nose to bump my clit and smearing my cunt all over her mouth and cheeks. What Pinky lacked in skill, she made up for in drunken submissiveness, allowing me to ride away until...

"Eat my cunt you fucking girly," oh yeah, there it is. I baptized little Patti Precious into being a good femme. That door was open now, the threshold had been crossed and she wasn't going back out that door if I could help it.

Pinky held tight to my thighs, pulling my cunt harder onto her mouth as she sucked girl cum for the first time in her life.

After I came down a bit, I slid down her body. Feeling the fuzzy pink angora against my cunt was tantalizing, `Note to self...get off on pink angora,' I smiled inwardly.

Pinky's face was glazed like an Easter ham, and she had the faraway stare of a junkie porno chick after a three-day binge on the silver kane, "More?"

"You want more of Daddy's cunt Pinky?"

"Un huh."

"Or maybe you want more of Daddy's dick?"

"Uh huh," this cunt was lost in dreamland now.

`Let's see how far,' I thought with an evil little smile. I stood above her and had her beg for my cunt.

"C'mon Pinky...louder, louder."

"Oh Daddy please let me suck your cunt again," she pleads real nice.

I stood above and demanded "Louder, louder," as she squeezed her tits through the pink angora and begged for my cunt.

Well, what's a daddy dyke to do? I spread my cunt and squatted a bit and let loose a steamy yellow stream of piss all over her Precious pink sweater. This drove her over. She grabbed her tits increasingly harder as my piss soaked her from belly to chin.

"Oh yes Daddy, pee on me," pure music to my ears.

"Open wide Pinky," I commanded as the last few dribbles of my piss emptied into her mouth, "Eat my cunt slut."

By the time I left Pinky's it was five in the morning. I had to laugh at the sight on the bed as I left: little Patti Precious sucking on the piss-wet fabric of her sweater with my dick stuck up her asshole, all cooing and whimpering herself to sleep.

Chapter 5

So anyway...great fuck right? Eh? An ok fuck, but a whole lot more that I bargained for. Later that day Pinky was on the other end of the phone in tears (why did I leave my number...shit). It seems that her roomies didn't appreciate her dyking-out on them, and they were giving her the boot.

"Please Denise," she sobbed and begged, "just until I can find a new place to live."

"Well Pinky, I don't know. See I have a regular girlfriend and all..."

"Please Daddy," she said in the tiniest whisper of a voice.

`Aw fuck,' whimpering little femmes get me every time.

"Yeah, ok. I'll be there in an hour."

By late Sunday night, she was actually learning to suck my cunt pretty good. Sasha called around eleven that night to let me know she wouldn't be home until Wednesday.

"So where did you go last night, I tried to call?" Sasha knew better than to be jealous, she just wanted to know who I fucked.

"Here, listen," I held the phone down near my cunt so Sash could hear Pinky slurping away.

"Did you hear that?" I asked, half laughing.

"Yeah, who is it?"

"A straight girl I picked-up last night...you'll never believe her name." I was in fits at this point.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Patti Precious," I laughed as the girl looked up at me when she heard me speak her name, "Wait, wait, listen to this."

"Pinky, do you want Daddy to piss on you now?" I held the phone so Sasha could hear the question and the answer.

"Oh yes Daddy. Please piss all over my pretty sweater and into my mouth," obedient, this one was.

"Did you hear?" I laughed to Sasha.

"Yeah. What's with the `pretty sweater' thing though?"

"Angora. She has an entire chest full of angora sweaters."

"You sure know how to pick `em babe," Sash giggled.

That's the reason Sasha and I got on so well. She is femme, but still likes my raunchy games. "Hey, why don't you come straight here from the airport on Wednesday?"

"Ok, sounds like fun. See ya then."

"Cool. Love you hun...I have to go piss on Patti now...bye."

Like I said, I wasn't really out looking for a new femme, but these things happen. Sweet little Patti Precious is deep in the closet--in her case being total white bread suburban--the closet was a large walk-in, and filled with fuzzy angora and a hot little cunt that just can't get enough of her Daddy.





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