I had to think very fast. "Oh, God, Cindy, I'm so sorry. I can't believe what I said on the phone, and you're right not to let me in. But we do need to talk, so I'm going to go some place and call you again. Please at least listen to me when I call you. I promise I won't be like last time. I'm so ashamed. Please? It's important."
"Well, maybe. But if you start talking dirty again I'll hang up."
"And I would deserve it if I did. But it won't be like that. You'll see. 'Bye, and I'll talk to you soon."
She didn't say anything, just closed the door.
I drove a block away and parked, then waited five minutes. I needed the time to make Cindy think I was far away, but I also needed it to settle down and plot my next move. I had been pumped so full of testosterone when I called her before and then drove to her house that I really wasn't thinking. And because of that I had blown it badly.
I called on my cell phone and waited, holding my breath, while her phone rang. Well, OK, this is really embarrassing for a grown man to admit, but I also had my fingers crossed – yes, I mean literally – on both hands. She finally picked up on the seventh ring. I know that for sure. I was counting.
"Oh, thank you, Cindy! I was so afraid you wouldn't answer."
"I almost didn't. So, what's so important?"
"I'll get to that in a minute, but I have to tell you a couple of other things first. Actually, the first thing is also very important, at least to you. Last week Tom and Pete and I promised solomnly that Bob would never hear about you kissing us. That promise still holds, and we didn't say it, but it also applies to everything that happened that night. For myself, I'm going to make you a second promise now, one I wasn't ready to make the last time I called you, but one I am now ready to swear I will keep. I will never, ever, tell anybody what happened last week, and from now on I will treat you as if it never happened."
I heard a sigh, and a whispered, "Thank you, Dick."
"Now for the second thing, and this is a lot harder for me to say. We actually tricked you last week, Cindy, and by 'we' I mean all four of us guys, your husband included. I'm sure Bob really regrets his part in it by now, so I hope you won't be too hard on him when he gets home. I know I regret my part in it; that goes with the second promise I just now made to you. This is going to be very painful, but you'll soon see why I have to tell you.
"You see, Cindy, Bob didn't really have an emergency at work. It was just a way to get you alone with the other three of us. – Oh, Cindy, this is so awkward to explain, and it makes me so ashamed of myself, so ashamed for all four of us.
"Two weeks ago we were playing poker at Tom's house, and his wife had gone out for the evening, so we got to talking, and it got out of hand. The truth is, we were needling Bob ... about you. It got around to us saying things like ... well, like, if we had a chance we'd bet we could really get you turned on. And Bob was saying, "no way," that he knew you weren't that kind of a woman.
"Well, like I said, things got out of hand, and we ended up planning for him to leave us alone with you last week. Then Tom and Pete and I were playing tricks on you, too, after he left. We were occassionally cheating, giving you hands that would get you all excited.
"I'm really, really, sorry, Cindy. And, of course, none of us thought things would go as far as they did. But at least now you know why it happened, and I hope you don't blame yourself for it, because you can see that we tricked you."
"But I do blame myself, Dick. No matter what tricks you guys played on me, it was no excuse to act the way I did. Oh, Dick, I've been miserable all week! I kept thinking I had to tell Bob, but I was afraid to, and ashamed to, and I kept putting it off, hating myself for what I did, and hating myself for putting it off.
"Well, I guess what you said has helped me, in a way. Even though I still know what I did was very, very, wrong, at least now I have some excuses, and I also can stop thinking that Bob is the best man in the world and I'm the worst woman."
"That's a good start, Cindy, but there's more. Now I'm going to tell you what is really eating my insides out tonight. You see, ... what the four of us decided on two weeks ago didn't just involve you. I'm not playing poker tonight, because I got a call about a so-called emergency at work."
"You mean ... the other three guys are at your house right now, and your wife is there?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Dick! That's awful! How can you do that?"
"The same way Bob was able to last week, I guess. The four of us made a solomn vow that we would each do this in one of the four next weeks. Except I know for me one of the things I was thinking before I left was that Bob did it last week, and I owed him one. Boy, did I ever owe him one."
"Oh, NO, Dick! Do you suppose my husband is f... is doing the same kind of thing with your wife this very minute that you and I were doing a week ago about this time?"
"I don't know, but I have to admit it's possible. Cindy, ... this seems like a really weird thing to say, but, in a way, even if they are, ... I mean, ... well, it's almost like ... fair."
"Tit for tat?"
"Yeah, except that sounds like getting even, and they wouldn't know that they were getting even. It's more like, we cheated on them, so we don't have any right to be mad at them if they cheat on us."
"Oh, God, Dick! The thought that he might be cheating on me right now is driving me crazy. But I see what you mean. I'm beginning to think this is one of those 'don't ask, don't tell' situations."
I groaned. "I hadn't thought of it that way, but I think you're right."
"Except, ... Dick, ... you did say all four of you, didn't you?
"Yes, Cindy, I did."
"So there's two more weeks to go? And Bob might be fucking women those two weeks as well?"
"That's right," I admitted.
"That's not fair! He gets to fuck around on me three weeks, and I only get to fuck around on him one time?"
"Well," I chuckled, "I have three answers to that. In the first place, he may not get anywhere with any of the other three wives, and I doubt seriously if he'll get all the way with all three of them. In the second place, you got to fuck around with three guys that one time. And in the third place, you definitely had the chance to fuck me again tonight."
I realized perfectly well that I was "talking dirty" again, but I wasn't worried. She was the one who had started it this time.