Adults Only
Hi, Okay this is the "About Dabara" page in which I will needlessly attempt to explain myself.
Warning...Long and boring, unless you're really into it. Are you looking for this: Dabara - The Story or Dabara - The Fact Sheet
I was sitting in church and I was thinking. I think a lot in church, but don't tell God that. I think about stories mostly because for almost an hour I can just sit and write without a whole lot of distraction, since the entire worship service is performed by rote anyway. Not much thinking to do about that...
So...I was thinking what if Jesus was a woman and the Virgin Joseph was a big deal and what if men were smaller and women were bigger and on and on. Pretty straightforward, but it was surprisingly fun thinking of all the little things that change. And then thinking men invented cosmetics (or women did) to please men, so wouldn't the reverse happen? And why do women wear skirts? What started that? Should men wear skirts in this alternative universe? And men have traditionally been fixated on breasts, but what if breasts were like balls, sort of, and balls became like breasts. I mean, if breasts were no longer overtly sexual, but more of a private sexual thing...But different too, because they are obviously right up front and in your face.
Hmmm...So what would define a sexy man? Well, the size of his penis probably, and his balls, combined into the traditional bulging manhood. But narrow hips? Tapered waist? They don't get broad shoulders anymore because they're smaller, so their legs? Asses? Long hair? Pouting lips? The traditional things we attribute to sex appeal in women combined within the limitations of a (slightly modified) male physique.
But I didn't want to create some transgender world either. I wanted males to stay male, but just highlight the sorts of things that women have been highlighted with. It's sort of hard and I'm still thinking about it.
Umm...The story...I started with a homage to Orwell. Sentence one, just because I wanted to use as many things as I could to get us into the alternate universe as soon as possible. Dabara is the root Arabic word for Aldebaran. Aldebaran is a double star system in the constellation of Taurus? I think...anyway, two suns and 80+ light years away and I just kept the name but split the word into Alde and Baran for the names of the suns. I multiplied all time factors by 3.2 which makes no sense because some numbers should be divided by that, otherwise you end up with months longer than years, but so what? They have a weird math system. I ended up leaving minutes alone though, cause otherwise it sounded like too much time...ie. 10 minutes becomes half an hour and instead of being in a hurry, we think we have all the time in the world. This isn't serious science fiction anyway.
So 16 years old is about 50 years in the story.
I give every girl a name which can be shortened or slightly modified into a boys name, just for fun really. Um, what else? I tried to think of the details in which gender pervades our lives and language, like Jumping Jills instead of Jumping Jacks, um if your brave then you have tits instead of balls, or you're titsy instead of ballsy...Opsday is just an extra day of the week I added. Ops was Saturn's wife in the old Greek Mythology, so she should get her own day, but it sounds like some military term so I'm thinking of just dropping the idea. How many people have heard of the Goddess Ops anyway?
I tried to use real people and just swap gender as much as possible. Nancy Reagan as President, Charlene Darwin, etc. Some names I didn't have to change like Oprah, I just said he was the black guy on TV. I thought about changing Jesus, making her Julie Christ or something, but it was unnecessary and I already pissed the religious people off enough. Uh...I went back and did it anyway.
I took ever gender stereotype I could think of and swapped them. Boys take a long time in the bathroom now, teenage girls are sex maniacs, boys giggle and blush, etc etc...
I'm writing this just as I finished part 2, which is weaker than part 1, and so I need to rewrite part of it. Walking around the mall alone is boring, even though some fun info comes out of it. I'd rather say it with dialogue though, character to character, rather than character to reader. It becomes less like exposition that way.
How well this idea will work, I don't know. Right now I'm looking at 4 parts to the story about 2500 words each with a final chapter 1 of 10k words and then I'll decide if it's worth pursuing further, or if the novelty has worn off. For now I'm just having fun and it's supposed to be pretty tongue in cheek, with maybe a little commentary about society, but I don't want to get on a soapbox or anything either. I just wanna have fun.
I just went back and rewrote part 2, instead of waiting around, Rachael meets a FILF and she gets a suckjob in Victor's Secret. It seems like that would be the reciprocal of a boy getting a blowjob from a friend's mother, so now I have suckjobs... that's always fun. Girls get oral sex as quickly and easily as the males do in our more traditional stories, and the men are happy to do it. As they should be :)
My title pictures I found in some Lolita newsgroup and believe me, some of those pictures that were in there I did NOT want to see. I was looking for a girl with short black hair, passable teen without any makeup, or a sexy body, in fact like a muscle girl, except without muscles. That's a tall order and I couldn't find any and I hate looking for pics, so this girl will have to do. If you have a picture matching the character in this story, let me know...I'd love to see it. I'm not a big picture person, but I do like title art, sort of like picking a cover for a book jacket. It's fun, in a weird way.
If you have ideas, thoughts, or suggestions let me know...down here is the part I cut from Part 2 just so you can see what I already have. It isn't very good, which is why it was replaced...
T.S.Severe@gmail.com Back to Main
After that was the bookstore and I scoped out the latest Ann Clancy novel. She was my mom’s favorite author, next to Tom Rice, but he made all his vampires fags. I couldn’t get into it. I didn’t have anything against homosexuals, but it seemed to me like Tab A went into Slot B for a reason, you know? Still, God made everybody, so maybe she had a reason for making some girls into clit lickers too, as long as they didn’t try to lick mine.
Lesbians were cool though, two guys getting it on? That was always nice to see. My English class had talked about that Sappho guy and how he wrote love poems to his boyfriend on the island of Lesbos and started the whole lesbian thing. He was okay in my book and that was the only time English class had made my clit throb. Sometimes I liked to jerk off thinking about being in bed with two lesbian guys and I wondered if Paris and David would be into each other if I asked them nice.
Shit, this walking around the mall was just making me more horny.
Everywhere I looked something was reminding me of sex. It had to be a girl thing, like every 8 seconds a little switch got flipped and whatever I was thinking about turned to sex. I left the bookstore wishing I’d told Gary I’d meet him earlier. He was gonna be in serious trouble later. I figured a couple beers and he’d loosen right up, he wanted it. Once I started finding his buttons, touching his little secret spots, Gary would be begging to give me his virginity. Or so I hoped anyway. If he turned out to be as frigid as my friends thought he was then it was gonna be a long lonely night for yours truly.
Don’t you hate doubts like that?
I started heading to my car, I’d be a little early, but not that much. I knew he’d make me wait though, that was like an unwritten rule or something. A guy couldn’t ever be on time for a date. It was like the shower, my dad and my brother could spend hours in the bathroom. Me and my mom had to like sneak in between them, or we’d be pissing in the bushes outside. And God help us if we left the toilet seat down, it was like we’d offended the Virgin Joseph himself or something. Personally I didn’t see what the big deal was, I mean guys should have pretty good aim, wouldn’t you think?
I shook my head, making my way through the parking lot towards my dad’s boxcar. Alde was just going down and the sky was going from deep blue to baby blue, like the air itself was getting thinner somehow, but that was just the light reflecting off the ionosphere or magnetosphere or something. I’d never been really good at science; all I knew was that it was pretty cool looking. Especially when the moon came out later, it would be big and round and so close you could almost imagine seeing Nellie Armstrong’s footprints on it. I thought it would be kinda cool to be an astronaut sometimes, but you probably had to be good at science stuff.
I’d settle for being a motor head with an attitude, just so long as I got a piece of Gary along with it. Ten more minutes. I pulled out slow and headed towards the Burger Queen, knowing I’d have to wait, but maybe I could get a shake or something. It was almost St. Patricia’s Day and they always had those weird green mint flavored shakes. They were pretty good and I wondered why they didn’t serve those all the time, but then I guess they’d have to have some other special flavor or else we wouldn’t have special days anymore. I wondered if anyone had ever cared about St. Patricia before they invented green shakes. I doubted it. I didn’t even know what she was famous for, unless maybe she invented green shakes. That sorta made sense.
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Okay, I am just about to crank into part 4, but first some things about part 3...
Uh, I guess this is where fashion really started to change, huh? I decided to mention makeup more, since I do think it's a thing pretty much invented to make the fairer sex more...fair...so, males being the fairer sex in this story, I decided it was okay to put some makeup on them. Also shaving, which I wasn't sure if I should or not, but then I started thinking why do women shave their legs? Because men find it attractive, same thing with underarms...so, reverse it. I don't want to put men in dresses though, it seems like fashion could go a bunch of different ways and not necessarily with skirts, so short-shorts will probably be as sexy as men dress, and tight pants of course. There is a certain logic to this as the males want to show off their genitals the same way women here want to show off their breasts, not all of them, but a lot of them, and the women want to see and admire it...so, tight clothing cut to accentuate the male sex organ seems almost reasonable. Hard to do that with a dress hanging loose, or even tight around the waist and thighs.
Umm, more cultural references, obviously. The red beer thing, stemming from the fact that beer is green on that planet is, I don't know, probably just stupid, but I was toying with idea of making some familiar things different. Mostly I've been keeping everything pretty much the same, except gender stuff, so that was a shot at changing something completely neutral just to see how it looked and if I liked it or not. I have mixed feelings about it.
Lemme see, mostly just a talking chapter, or part of the chapter, which is the reason I felt I could get away with no sex in it. It'll be posted with the rest of the chapter all at once and the scene before ended with sex, and the next scene is (I think) going to be all about sex, so it was a good place just to hang out.
I think Rachael is developing better. She started out really tough, sort of cynical and just blustering really, but I think by the end of part 3 she's becoming more personal, the mask is falling away slowly. She did a lot of lying to the readers right at the beginning, but she was in school, so I think she's just one of those people who have a different persona in that environment. Trying to impress her friends (and the reader) with the old 'best defense is a good offense' theory. Being alone with Gary I'm thinking we'll get a chance to see the 'real' her and find that she's not so tough and jaded and despite how she came across previously, she is in love with him and not really intending to fuck him and leave him like she may have suggested back in part 1 ...I guess we'll have to see.
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Okay I finished it up and I'm typing this quick so I can get it on my site and work on something else. I think the story needs a bit of a rewrite in the end, but I want to give it some time and come back with a fresh look before deciding. I did rush it just a little and then there was a lot of exposition to be throwing in the middle of a sex scene...Probably not a good idea. But I had the idea for a different sort of reproductive system and I wanted to get it out there. I needed a reason for male virginity to be a big deal, in relative terms, and also I wanted to involve males in the reproductive process more. So women get pregnant and bear the child, but men provide the milk and nurturing traditional to our females here.
It sounds weird, but maybe it sort of works as fantasy. I found the idea of two people being pregnant more interesting than just one. So it really becomes very much a joint affair having a child and the mother, or father, really isn't meant or equipped to do it alone. I thought that was cool, it also gave a rationale for people knowing that a boy was pregnant. His breasts swell and he produces milk, kind of hard to hide that. Women have breasts too, but they don't make milk, in fact they're rather more muscular than anything else, evolution at work.
Ummm...hmm, that was the big deal at the end. I know this was a really weird story and it's an experiment, so there are flaws, but that's okay. I want to learn from it and probably return to that place and write something better in the future. This one had no real 'story' to it, but the underlying setting is sufficient to carry the weak (non-existent) plot, at least for a few short chapters.
Umm, oh I guess the only other thing I could say was I seriously thought of having women lay eggs. Well, a single fertilized egg, rather than carrying a fetus in the womb. But of course the biggest problem with that is...Gary wouldn't have a belly button to be pierced!!
So...no eggs, although having a daddy caring for an egg (which grows larger as it matures) for nine months would have been really off the wall!
This will end the notes...thanks for reading, thanks for wading through my thoughts here. If you have questions, comments, and the like... I'm always around. Just drop me a line. -T.S.