SUMMARY: Noel catches Jim's eye when she steams into the marina on Mort's arm. It isn't too long before Jim manages to get himself wrapped up in her problems.

COMMENTARY: I like the idea behind this story. I think the author did a pretty good job with the characters. Some of the sex scenes are arousing. Despite all this, there is something about the story that strikes me as being wrong. The pacing could be better. It feels rushed in some places.

Also, there is a bit too much dialogue, in certain scenes. I feel that, those scenes would benefit from having a bit more narration thrown into them. I'm not sure that this would make the story as a whole eminently better, but I think it would improve those scenes and give them a more natural flow.

By the way, if you are interested in reading a story that happens to have sexual elements in it, then you may want to try this one. If you are solely interested in sex scenes or being aroused, then you will probably find this story somewhat lacking.

OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 7.5 (out of 10)

• Arousal: 3/5
• Editing: 5/5
• Plot and Characters: 4/5

SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Good

LINK(S):

• ASSM Archive
• Part 1 of 1