Alley of OoPS : 365

Title

A Needle Through the Heart

Author

MichaelD38

Story Code(s)

M/F, Teen, Cons, NC

Story Theme(s)

Science-Fiction
Vitual Reality
Detective/Thriller

Length

20,000 words

Arousal

2 out of 5

Plot and Characters

5 out of 5

Editing

5 out of 5

Objective Analysis

7 out of 10

Subjective Analysis

Very Good

Summary

Phillip, currently a virtual reality junkie and formerly a homicide detective, helps Sabrina, a security specialist who used to be his lover, track down a virtual reality rapist.

Commentary

There are a couple scenes in this story that I found arousing, but for the most part this story is not arousing. I believe that is the way the author intended it. There is a rape scene in this story but it was not in the least bit arousing. Once again, I believe that is the way the author intended it to be. There are not too many graphic details in the rape scene. This story is a bit arousing.

The story itself is very well written. All of the characters, in particular Phil and Sabrina, seem realistic. There are three centers of focus within this story. The first is Phil. When the story begins his life is in a downward spiral which began soon after Sabrina left him. The second is Phil's relationship with Sabrina. Phil harbors a good deal of resentment towards her. She can't seem to get him to understand why she left him. The third center of focus in this story is the rape and the former lovers' attempts to find the rapist. I can see how someone else might not separate Phil out as a distinctive a center of focus, but it seems to me that Phil, the relationship he has with Sabrina, and the investigation of the rape are all equally important to the plot.

This story is compelling. It pulled me along. I wanted to see what happened to Phil. I wanted to see who the rapist would turn out to be and how he would be dealt with. I wanted to see how things would work out between Phil and Sabrina. In other words I recommend this story if you are looking for a good read. On the other hand, if you are looking for something to arouse you I would advise you look elsewhere. I have given this story a Very Good.