Alley of OoPS : 301

Title

Summer Camp II

Author

MichaelD38

Story Code(s)

M/F, M/F/F, Teen

Length

28,200 words

Rating

Very Good

Arousal Factor

Average

Story Factor

High

Summary

Mitch and Beth encounter personal and professional problems during the first summer that they are in charge of the camp.

Plot A: Brittany loves Mitch, who happens to be engaged to be Beth. Mitch is not about to leave Beth for Britanny, but that does not mean that he does not care for her.

Plot B: Brittany is supposed to seduce Rich, and introduce him to the sorority. She gets cold feet, but Karin is more than willing to take her place.

Plot C: Someone is spying on the camp. Mitch's fears that it is a child pornographer.

Plot D: Leslie seems to know just a bit too much about sex, for a 13-year-old. Beth and Mitch are concerned.

Commentary

This story is too complex. It felt like the author tried to jam too much into too short a story. I think it probably would have worked better if the author had broken this story up into a couple stories.

The serious parts, "C" and "D", were handled too tritely to satisfy me. At the same time, the serious plot lines were not arousing. They made my pickle wilt and made me cringe inwardly. They also did not seem to be very well integrated with the other two plot lines, "A" and "B".

At least one thing in this story made me laugh. The scene where Mitch gives in and agrees to sleep with two of the campers. Their names are Courtney and Monica. The first thing that came to mind is the NBC sitcom Friends. There is also a character named Chandler in this story. Was this done on purpose?

My basic gripe with this story is that while the individual plots are reasonably well handled, I don't think it works to have them all in a story as short as this one is. My favorite plot line is "A".