Sam the Ham

My Parents are Weird

12-year-old Taylor fought back tears as he tried to untie the knot with his one free hand. He was stripped down to his underwear and rolled into a ball. Both of his feet ware tied to his head bowed along with one of his wrists. This wasn't the first time he had done something like this, but it was the first time he couldn't get the knots out. Worst of all his parents were going to be home any minute and they had just started believing he could stay home alone for at least an hour or two. If they found him like this though, it wouldn't just be embarrassing; they would never let him stay home alone again!

"Taylor, where home."

The voice of his mother drifted up the stairs and it sent Taylor into a complete panic. He started pulling at the ropes causing them to tighten. A moment later he heard the heavy footsteps of his father coming up the stairs. It was enough to make his vision blurry.

There was a knock at his door before his father stuck his head in. "Taylor?"

Taylor wanted to bury his head under a pillow, but the most he could do was turn his head away and wish the world would just go away.

"Oh Taylor, what have you done?"

His father took three large steps to reach his bed and Taylor looked up at him as he examined the ropes.

"You've got them on really tight," Taylor's father said. "I think I'm going to have to cut the ropes. Don't go anywhere I'll be right back."

Tyler let out a laugh, at the bad joke. Now that he was caught he sort of relaxed knowing he would be free in a minute. His father came back and carefully started to cut at the ropes with a pocket knife he kept in his bedroom. It was something that Taylor had seen many times, but wasn't supposed to touch. His father cut his wrist free first and then his right and left foot.

Taylor rolled onto his back and rubbed at his wrist which was red. "Thanks dad."

Taylor's Dad was checking out his ankles. "Oh, don't thank me. We have to talk now."

Talk was code for punishment which was something Taylor never enjoyed. "I'm sorry for taking the rope."Apologizing for whatever he had done wrong was always a good way to start. Although, he was pretty sure he had confessed to a few things his parents hadn't known about that way.

"Well, you shouldn't have taken rope without asking, but you didn't really miss use it so I'm not really upset about that. Do you know why I'm upset with you?" Taylor's father asked as he sat on the bed and started to rub at one of his ankles.

Taylor thought for a second and shook his head still rubbing his wrist. "I don't know, but I'm sorry." He said the last word with a hopeful note.

His father let out a long sigh and started to rub his Taylor's other ankle. "I'm upset with you, because you tie yourself up when no one else was at home. What if there had been a fire? You wouldn't have been able to get out. We can replace everything in this house except you and that's why I'm upset with you. Do you understand?"

Taylor nodded. "I thought I could untie myself."

"Obviously you were wrong. Now why did you tie yourself up in the first place?"

Taylor squirmed a little at that, but he couldn't think of a way not to answer. "It makes me feel good. When I'm tied up, I feel nice, it makes my stomach and other places feel good."

"And how did you discover this?" His father asked.

Reaching for his pillow Taylor placed it over his face and held it there for a minute, but he knew his father wasn't going anywhere. He moved the pillow up far enough so his mouth was free to talk. "When we play capture the flag, sometimes when we get captured we get tied up. I don't like getting captured, but I kind of like when I get tied up."

"And what's the difference between what you did and what you do with your friends?"

"I was in my underwear?" Taylor ventured with a small smile.

His father laughed. "Well yes, but your friends were there to untie you if they needed too. You didn't have that here. Now, I'm not going to punish you, but here are the rules. I'm going to get you some good rope, stuff better than this. You can tie yourself up all you want, but you always have to make sure either one of your friends are here to untie you or you tell either myself or your mother that you're going to tie yourself up. You are not allowed to do it while you're alone. Do you understand?"

Taylor nodded, but knew that would not be enough of an answer. "I understand. Either my friends have to be here when I tie myself up our I have to tell you or mom I'm doing it."

"Good, you understand. Now how about you give me a hug?"

It took Taylor second to realize she wasn't going to be grounded or have to do extra chores. Once that sunk in, he sprung up and gave his dad a big hug. "Thanks dad, you're the best."

His father chuckled. "Well, I look on the bright side. Your mom will be happy to know that you got more than your eyes from her."

***

13-year-old Taylor set with this parent watching the end of a show. As the credits started to roll with the preview play alongside he excused himself and headed to his room. As he walked through the kitchen, he stopped at the refrigerator. Removing a can of soda he opened it loudly and surreptitiously grabbed a long carrot form open bag.

Walking into his room he down most of the soda before taking off all his clothes. Being naked always made this more exciting. Crouching under his bed he grabbed a bottle that he kept under their and then went to his closet door. There was a full-length mirror on the back side. It had been there ever since they had moved to this house when he was 6.

Turning around he got on his knees and pressed his butt in the air. Opening the container of Vaseline he dipped his index finger into it. It felt weird against his finger but when he pulled out it was covered in the stuff. Looking between his legs he could see his penis had already become erect. Using the mirror he guided his thumb down his crack and with his middle finger he separated his cheeks so he could see his hole. Carefully slipping his finger between his spread cheeks he started by making small circles around his hole.

It was a strange feeling, but it felt nice. His lubricated finger slid over the surface and he closed his eyes trying to imagine it was someone else's. Slowly he began to slide his finger in. The first time he had done this it had kind hurt, but it was something he wanted and he had learn to relax. Slipping past the first knuckle and the second was about all he could do for this position. Staying still for a second he twisted his finger a little and pulled out. If going it was weird, going out felt like he was losing something. Taylor couldn't put it exact words, but it didn't feel like going to the bathroom.

He slipped his finger back in two more times, but that was just to spread lubricant. Withdrawing the last time he picked up the carrot and using his other hand spread of Vaseline onto it. The beginning of the carrot was a little thinner than his finger, but unlike his finger it became wider further down.

Taylor put a lot of stuff on, it was better to have too much then too little. By the time stunned the character looked like some sort of alien plant covered in goo. Resting his forehead against the thick carpeted floor he used one hand to spread his cheeks as he brought the carrot back to his rear entrance. It took him a second to line it up but soon he felt it resting at his entrance.

Slowly, he started to push the carrot in. The hardest part, was to push past his ring of muscle. After it was in, though, it went in the lot easier. The first inch took the longest, just a little at a time. Then he was able to get a better grip and the next inch came a lot easier. His hard on was pushing against his belly now and with his free hand he started to stroke it as he pushed the carrot in just a little more before taking his hand off and letting it pushed back out.

After a few minutes Taylor felt the strange sensation starting to boil up and then he felt it. His toes curled as he inhaled sharply feeling a rush of warmth as his dry orgasm washed over him. His head was buried in the carpet, the carrot still inside of him when there came a knock at his door quickly followed by its opening.

"Taylor, do you," his mom trailed off.

Taylor stared up from the floor at his mother, he was frozen for a second before scrambling toward his bed and pulling the covers over himself while shouting. "Mom!"

"I'm," his mother started sounding flustered before becoming angry. "Is that a carrot you're using! Listen here, you are not allowed to waste food like that and what if it had broken off inside you? Do you have any idea how expensive it is to get something removed from there? Proctologist are not cheap you know."

Concealed under his covers Taylor felt for the carrot and pulled it out rest of the way. Thankfully it was still intact. That fear abated he went back to feeling indignant. "Mom, you're supposed to wait until I say come in. You said you would."

Taylor's words might have been more effective if they weren't said from under a blanket.

"Well, I'm sorry I forgot our agreement, but that is still no excuse for you wasting food. I'm picking you up right after soccer practice tomorrow. You're not going over to Jacob's house."

"Fine, just leave!" Taylor shouted while pushing his face into his mattress. He thought he heard the door close, before there was another knock again. "What is it now?" Taylor whimpered.

"Would you like to watch that new show we recorded last night or not?" His mother said through the door.

Taylor groaned.

By the next day Taylor still wasn't keen on looking his mother in the eye. Reluctantly he walked to his mom silver Subaru much like a condemned man would approach his execution site. Sitting in the front seat he stared at the dashboard as his mom started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. He didn't say a word.

After they were on the road for a few minutes his mom spoke up. "Taylor, I will concede that I may have overreacted yesterday. I was just concerned for your safety and disappointed in your," she paused searching for the right word. "Choice," she finally settled on.

Taylor really didn't want to talk about this, but mom was in lecture mode. So he just closed his eyes and played his favorite song in his head, trying to drown out her words. Unfortunately, his taste in music wasn't particularly loud. He could feel them come to a stop at a traffic light and after second felt something landed on his lap. He opened it to see a brown paper bag a bit bigger than he had used to carry his lunch in.

Reluctantly he opened the bag and saw consisted of two things. Some sort of tube and what he recognized from his porn viewing as a small and thin dildo. It was florescent green.

"If you're going to play back there you're going to do it safely," his mom began. "Now, here's how you properly take care of one of those."

Taylor decided he really needed to start listening to some death metal.

***

14-year-old Taylor had his hands tied together with rope that was wrapped around his headboard. His knees were pressed to his chest and his feet were resting against the broad chest of 15-year-old Alex, his lab partner. Alex was pushing his considerable length into Taylor and he was loving every inch. It felt like his dildo, but it was also so different. Taylor thought he could feel the warmth of the other inside of him.

Alex bottom out and started too pulled back inhaling sharply. This wasn't their first time and it definitely wasn't going to be there last. Taylor had so many ideas in his head for different positions he wanted to try, different ways of being tied up. He knew Alex really didn't like tying him up, but Alex did it for Taylor sometimes.

Blood throb through Taylor'syears. Every part of him felt so sensitive and at the same time he was just lost in the feeling. Taylor almost felt guilty. Alex never did this and he was missing out. A second later Alex pushed a little too fast and Taylor let out a little yelp more of surprised then pain. His hands pushed against the backboard smacking into the wall with a loud bang.

"You okay?" Alex asked, his blue eyes staring down at Taylor.

"Yeah, it just sort of startled me." Taylor smiled and Alex smiled back which just made him feel great.

Taylor's bedroom door opened and his father stuck his head in. "Taylor, I heard a bang are you…"

Alex withdrew like he was fleeing the scene of a crime. For a second a pen drop could've been heard and considering how thick the carpet was that was impressive.

Then Taylor's father's face turned red with anger. "Young man are you having unprotected SEX! You know where I keep my condoms!"

The End