Bill W

Castaway Hotel VII

Chapters 28-36

Chapter 28
Welcoming Another New Year

As New Year's approached, we fine-tuned our plans for the evening and altered them a little, to accommodate our guest. We not only wanted him to enjoy himself and have the best New Year possible, but we also intended for him explore the nonsexual side of being gay. We planned to show him there were other things you could do with a partner, besides having sex.

None of the boys objected when I told them what I was up to. I think a few of them even liked what I had in mind. This would give them an opportunity they wouldn't normally have and I think they intended to make the most of it.

When New Year's Eve arrived, we began our evening by going out to dinner, with many of our extended family meeting us at the restaurant. The only ones who were missing were the Becker's. Albert had called to tell me that he and Richard had discussed joining us, but decided they would rather spend a quiet evening at home. They explained Arlene hadn't been doing very well the past few days and I interpreted this to mean that they were afraid of what she might do at the restaurant. It also meant that Albert hadn't been getting as much sleep as he needed, since he had to keep a closer watch on her, so now he was worn out.

Hearing this, I once again offered our assistance for the next few days, until the aide schedule was restored, but once more Albert refused my help. He told me they only had a couple of days left on their own, but did admit he regretted Richard wouldn't be joining us. He informed me he had tried to encourage his son to go with us and assured Richard he could watch Arlene on his own. Of course, Richard refused, and I believe he was emulating his father's stubborn streak, so both were now going to stay home with Arlene and spend a quiet evening alone.

Although I was chagrined they wouldn't be joining us, we went to the restaurant without them. We filled nearly half of one of the dining rooms by ourselves, but we were far from being the center of attention. Everyone was in such a good mood and having too much fun on their own, so they didn't pay any attention to us. They were either busy socializing with their friends or listening to the band the owner had hired to play in an adjoining room, so we were a non-issue tonight. That suited us just fine and we enjoyed a wonderful meal in relative peace and anonymity.

Once we finished eating, we enjoyed a few after-dinner drinks and I even allowed the boys to have a glass or two of wine with their meal and dessert. Once we finished, we invited the entire family to come to our house, for a private party.

Except for Mark and his girlfriend, who had made plans with some of their friends from work, everyone came to join us for a while. The Spences warned us, in advance, they no longer stayed up until midnight and would probably leave early, but that was fine with us. I was surprised some of the boys who chased skirts hadn't tried to get dates for the evening, either to take somewhere, bring home or go off on their own, but they decided they'd rather stay with the family.

When we got back, I set up an impromptu bar in the kitchen and our guests enjoyed their drinks while sitting and talking in our dining room. Occasionally, they would go back to the rec room to dance or watch the boys with each other. My sons had moved everything out of the way to create a dance floor after I first told them about my idea. They had also set up their best sound system to provide the tunes, so various combinations started to unwind.

Although the boys preferred to play slower songs they could snuggle to as they danced, they did play some faster numbers too. They were considerate and also played a few songs especially for the older crowd, so we could wow them with what some would call the Lindy, jitterbug or swing dancing. Steve and his wife got into it, along with the Spences, and I took turns with both Sally and Mark's mother, while Jake danced with the one I wasn't with at the time. We were all having a great time and the younger crowd even commented on our dancing prowess.

"I've never seen my mum and dad dance like this," Peter stated, "but it's quite nice. Could I learn how to do it?" Immediately, Susan went over and began to teach Peter the basics.

The other boys seemed interested too, so the rest of us also attempted to instruct them how to do these dances too. Even my straight and bi boys were dancing with each other, so they could perfect their skills and impress their next date with their graceful prowess.

I was also pleased that no one had any problems with our couples cuddling affectionately during the slow dances. I was a little concerned about how Mark's mother might react, since this was actually her first time being involved with something of this nature. However, I guess I needn't have been, because she just smiled and nodded when she saw what they were doing. She also gave me a knowing wink from time to time. I believe this was to let me know she could see the love these young men shared with each other.

The boys were also taking turns dancing with their honorary aunts – Margaret, Mary, Sally and Susan, which thrilled the older women to no end. It also gave John, Steve, Jake and I a chance to sit out a dance or two. Jake and I even danced a few slow songs with each other, which got some catcalls and whistles from the peanut gallery, but it was all in good fun. Hell, I even had a dance with Steve and John Spence, of course at their wives' playful urging.

To my surprise, Ted even asked me to dance with him, but not until he'd had time to practice his skills with Sammy and Graham first. He took this opportunity to tell me this was the most fun he'd ever had. He said he didn't realize how right it would feel for him to do all these things, even with his father's usual admonishments nagging at the back of his mind. He went on to say he just wanted to let me know how much this meant to him and how it was changing his life.

Although he wouldn't openly defy his father, he would no longer be intimidated by his father's harsh words and abusive attitude. He'd now know in his heart there was nothing wrong with the way he felt or who he was. I told him I was glad we could help, although he probably owed more thanks to his Aunt Jane for setting the visit up for him. Hearing that, Ted assured me he'd give her a special thank you when she picked him up.

Everyone continued to have a good time, even though the Spences left about 10:30. The rest of us stuck it out for the big celebration, and as midnight approached, we all went to the family room to watch television, so we could see the ball drop. We counted down as zero hour neared and eagerly anticipated the big moment. After exchanging our Happy New Year greetings with each other, we also shared more than a few hugs. I also noticed a good deal of kissing going on, which included the one Jake planted on me.

A few minutes after midnight, we got a call from Albert and Richard. They wanted to wish everyone their own New Year wishes and let us know they were with us in spirit, if not in body. About twenty or thirty minutes after the call ended, the party began to break up. Steve, Mary, Sally and Susan announce it was time for them to leave, but thanked us for the wonderful time. Once we said our good-byes, the boys began to head to their rooms, although I was certain not all of them were planning to sleep. As it turned out, my assumption was correct.

A few of us got up early enough the next day to watch some of the parades on television, but most of the boys slept in. Ted was one of the first to get up and he seemed invigorated by all the wonderful new experiences he'd enjoyed the night before. Jake and I were sitting on the sofa when he came downstairs and he immediately came in to join us.

Ted sat on the other side of me, but got as close as he could possibly get. Even though there was more than enough room on that side of the sofa, he never tried to move away. I knew this probably meant he was craving a little attention from me, as his substitute father, so I lifted my arm, placed it over his shoulders. I then hugged him tightly against my side and he beamed his approval. He did look over to see how Jake was reacting to this, so when Jake didn't respond negatively, Ted began to speak.

"My dad would never hug me like this," he announced, with a tinge of sadness in his voice. "In fact, I don't remember him ever hugging or kissing me, not even when I was little."

Although it was a pathetic commentary on his family life, it was not unusual for very macho, homophobic males to treat their sons this way. For some reason, they believe showing affection, which they feel is an effeminate tendency, might 'turn' their sons gay. Although in my mind the notion is ridiculous in the first place, it did persist among this group. Therefore, they continued to act accordingly, which caused many of their sons to think they were unloved and possibly unwanted. This was probably not true. In my profession, I have observed that most fathers seem to have an overabundance of love for their sons, but by not showing it, those boys always doubted their father's affection for them.

We spent the rest of the day watching a procession of football games. They were all very good and quite exciting, which caused those of us watching to get a little rowdy at times. This was due to the fact that not all of us cheered for the same team and Ted got a kick out of how we teased each other. This would happen when our team had the advantage or the other team made a mistake. He was also impressed with how much good-natured ribbing we were willing to endure, when our team was under-performing.

Sitting safely next to me, since he thought I would protect him if the others took him too seriously, he got into the act as well. The boys just gave it back and treated him no differently than anyone else. At first this shocked Ted, but then he began to realize this meant he was being accepted as part of the family and no one was going to give him any special quarter from the abuse. Feeling braver, he even started in on me, but I got even by tickling him, something he wasn't prepared for.

Jake and I had been taking turns getting up and working on dinner, but the last time I went out to the kitchen, Jake followed me. He told me he'd take care of the meal and suggested I should go back in and spend time with Ted. He said he could see how much the boy needed me at this point and said my time would be better spent with him. I thanked Jake for his understanding and told him I knew Ted would thank him too, if I told him what Jake was doing. However, Jake didn't want me to do that, as it might make Ted feel uncomfortable and he didn't want that to happen. Understanding his concerns, I honored his request and never mentioned a word of this to Ted.

When I went back into the family room, Sammy and Graham had already taken their positions beside Ted, so he looked confused when I returned. I knew he wanted me to sit with him too, but didn't want to hurt either of his new friend's. Graham picked up on this fact immediately.

"Dad come here," he told me, before telling Ted to "stand up for a second."

Graham then directed me to sit where Ted had been seated and then told Ted to sit on my lap. This caused Ted to stop and give me a look that said, 'is this okay with you?'

Once I nodded my approval, Ted sat down and both boys cuddled up against us. I think this solved Ted's dilemma better than he could have hoped for. He leaned back against me and made sure our bodies were in nearly total contact the rest of the time.

We watched quite a bit of the next game in this fashion, before Ted had to get up to pee. Once he was out of sight, the boys filled me in on something I did not know.

"Ted told us this morning that he wished you were his father and he could live here forever," Sammy announced.

"I knew he felt comfortable with me, but I didn't know it had reached that level," I admitted.

"Oh, yeah," Graham seconded. "Even though he likes us, it's you he wants to be close to. He told us he's tried to get close to his father but was always pushed away. With you, he can do all the things he's wanted to do at home."

This made me begin to consider what I was going to do when Ted came back or what I might say to him later, before this escalated out of control. I didn't want him to refuse to go back home when it was time for him to leave. However, I didn't have very long to pursue these thoughts before Ted returned. This time he sat across my lap, with his head resting on my shoulder.

"This is so awesome," he whispered in my ear. "I could stay like this forever." This propelled my mind into high gear.

"Well, we'd have to separate when nature called," I joked, since I wasn't sure what else to do, but he merely replied he already knew that.

"Ted, I have to admit I enjoy this too, but I don't want you to start building unrealistic expectations about what might happen," I hinted. "No matter what any of us might wish, we have to deal with how things are, which means when your aunt comes, you'll have to return with her."

"I know," he said, looking up at me. He nearly broke my heart with his sad expression. "It's just that this is the first time I've felt loved and accepted for who I really am. My mom loves me for who she thought I was or who she wants me to be and I'm not sure if my dad loves me at all. But here, you love me for who I am and so does everyone else. You can't know how good that makes me feel."

"He knows," Graham told him, before I could think of a response. "He's done that for us too, because hardly any of us came from very loving or caring homes."

"Yes," I added, "and we'll all be here for you from now on, so it's imperative we don't do anything that will cause your parents to keep you from seeing us in the future."

"But they couldn't stop me, if I lived here," he announced, as a ray of hope radiated from his face.

"You're only seventeen and still under your parents control," I reminded him.

"Maybe I could get them to make Aunt Jane my guardian, and then she'd let me come here to live," he suggested, nearly beaming.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," I reminded him. "First of all, you're not sure your parents would agree to any of this."

"I'll have Aunt Jane help me convince them," he offered, in rebuttal.

"Even if they did, we're nearly in the middle of the school year, and transferring at this time could be rough on you," I pointed out. "Are you a junior or a senior this year."

"A junior," Ted answered, curtly, thinking I was trying to dash his dreams.

"And there are many other things that would need to be considered," I advised him, which caused him to get a serious look on his face. After sitting quietly for nearly a minute, his face seemed to brighten and he spoke again.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll get a job and pay my own way," he informed me. "I promise I won't cost you any money."

His face was pleading with me at this point, which nearly caused me to give in to him, no matter what obstacles we might have to overcome. Instead, I locked my arms around him, gave him a squeeze and then responded to what he had said.

"It's not the money I'm worried about, Ted," I countered. "It's coming between you and your parents. No matter how bad things seem, I'm sure both your mother and father love you in their own way. So, I'd hate to ruin whatever connection you might have. It's still possible for you to work your way through this with them, with your Aunt Jane's support and assistance, so don't give up on your mom or dad yet.

"This is a pretty drastic solution you're recommending," I continued, "and one these boys didn't have to make. They didn't even have a choice in the matter. In their cases, their parents either died, were deemed unfit or threw them out of the house, and none of those things have happened to you yet."

I think Ted interpreted this to mean I didn't want him now, which wasn't what I was saying. I could tell this by the defeated look on his face, but I didn't want him to think that, so I continued.

"Ted, if any of those things ever happened, I'd bring you here in a heartbeat," I assured him. "Unless something does, maybe you should make an attempt to improve your situation at home and try to work things out with your parents first."

"If I tell my dad I had sex with a boy while I was here, then he'd throw me out," he offered, missing my point, "and then I could come live with you."

"If he doesn't have me thrown in jail first for corrupting the morals of a minor," I pointed out. "Not only that, but maybe he could have all my boys taken away too." Ted's eyes were now as big as saucers, as he considered what I'd said.

"He couldn't do that, could he?" he asked, as if he thought I was just joking.

"It's a possibility, depending on what court and which judge ruled on the matter. There are still a lot of people who are afraid gays are recruiting young boys into the lifestyle and the wrong judge or jury might just do something like that, out of fear or ignorance."

"I don't want that to happen!" Ted exclaimed, sounding sincere. "I just want to live here with you, that's all." He looked as if he was nearly ready to cry.

"Why don't you wait and discuss this with your Aunt Jane and get her reaction to it first," I suggested. "She knows your parents better than any of us, so maybe she could give you a better perspective about how this would be received or what problems it might create." Looking slightly better than he did seconds before, he spoke again.

"Okay, I can do that, because I certainly don't want to cause you any problems," he confirmed. "You've been so nice to me that I wouldn't want anything bad to happen, just because I'm trying to get my own way."

"We've survived worse," I confirmed, "but let's go slow and think everything through before we act."

Ted said he would, so I let the topic drop, but I still continued to hold him cuddled against my chest, just as if he was still a small child. I knew he felt safe and loved this way. It was also something he'd always wanted to happen, but never received, so I wasn't about to push him away and hurt him any more than he had already been.

Ted spent the rest of the day near me and never moved farther than an arm's length away, except when he went to the toilet. This began to make me feel like a mother duck whose ducklings had just impressed upon her and wouldn't leave her side. He even followed me to the bathroom a couple of times, but waited in the hallway until I was finished. It was almost as if he were afraid I wouldn't return if he wasn't there waiting for me. I was flattered, although somewhat perplexed about how to deal with this, but I decided to let him work his way through it. Hopefully, he'll wean himself without my assistance.

Chapter 29
Time With Ted

When the final game ended and it was time to go to bed, Ted grabbed my arm and made me stay behind, until the other boys had left. "I know this is going to sound weird and all, but would you sleep with me tonight?" he begged.

"And what made you decide this?" I asked, to clarify his request.

"It's just that I've always wanted my father to love me enough to do it, but he never did" he responded. "I was hoping, since you've been so nice to me, you'd do it instead. It would be kind of like you'd be my father for a little while." His eyes were pleading with me, but then he spoke again.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to," he added, while looking disappointed. "I'm sure you think I'm really weird just because I asked it."

"No, I don't think that at all," I assured him. "I believe each of my boys has slept with me at one time or another," I confirmed, "so it's not an unusual request either. If you don't mind sleeping between Jake and I, I'll check with him to see if he'd have a problem with it."

"You mean you and Jake aren't just friends?" Ted asked, having missed such an obvious fact.

I don't think this revelation bothered him, but he had apparently been so focused on me that he hadn't noticed anything else. I guess he just wrote off all the time Jake and I spent together as being friends and taking care of the family. He must have also written off my dancing with Jake as just another guy I danced with the previous night. I suppose he was also too busy with the boys to notice the passionate kiss Jake gave me, but I don't think that would have made any difference to him. I don't believe Ted's interest in me is romantic, but more like a temporary father substitute.

"Yes, Jake and I are partners," I advised him. "I hope that's not a problem for you?"

"Oh, no!" he quickly answered, making sure he didn't upset me. "It's just that I guess I'd never realized it. I don't know why, but that never occurred to me. What do the other boys think of you two being together?" he wondered.

"It doesn't bother them," I explained. "They just accept us as a couple and think of us as two dads." He thought about this a few seconds and then nodded.

"They're luckier than I thought," he added.

"Don't forget, they don't have a mother to dote on them," I added, so he didn't think this was all roses and no thorns.

"I know," he concurred, "but I've noticed they have some really neat aunts and uncles too."

I agreed with his observation, while trying to explain how each of those people had come into our lives. He absorbed the information like a sponge.

"Well, do you want me to ask Jake if he'd mind if you slept between us?" I asked, getting back to his original request.

"I guess you could, but I was hoping it would just be the two of us," he replied. He didn't sound thrilled about the choice I gave him.

"Well, I could sleep in the middle and you'd still be next to me," I offered.

"I know, but it still wouldn't be the same," he admitted, looking forlorn.

"Ted, if you're looking for more than that," I told him, "then you might be disappointed." Ted looked confused.

"What do you mean?" he challenged.

"If you're looking for a sexual encounter, it's not going to happen," I clarified. This drew a shocked response from Ted and his face took on a horrified expression.

"No! That's not what I was thinking at all," he corrected. "I just wanted it to be the two of us, but I wasn't thinking of anything more than that." He looked embarrassed that I had even suggested this.

"Dad… oh damn, I mean, Mr. Currie… err, uh, Josh…" Ted stammered and I realized he had made the same slip of the tongue earlier, when he also called me dad. I was also surprised by how totally flustered and confused it made him when this happened. I thought he might even bolt from the room, because he was getting so upset, or maybe just embarrassed by his verbal mistake.

"Calm down, Ted," I told him, reading the panic in his eyes. "You haven't done or said anything wrong." He still didn't look as if he believed me, and it appeared he might even start to cry.

"See, I'm a total idiot," he scolded. "I've been thinking all day about how I'd like to have you for my dad and that's the only reason I wanted to spend the night with you. Like you were really my father and I was still your little boy. I know it sounds dumb, but it's been a dream I've always had, where my father would love me that way." Now, he did start to weep, so I did my best to console him.

"Look, give me a minute to talk this over with Jake," I advised him. "I'm sure he'll understand."

"No, cuz now you're going to think I'm such a baby," he blurted out, totally embarrassed.

Where in the world have I heard that line before? Damn, is it my turn to have to deal with all the boys with emotional issues? It isn't that I don't understand why he's been acting the way he has, seeing he's been robbed of most of his childhood by an overbearing father. All he's ever wanted was a dad who would show his love and make him feel safe. Now he feels as if he's found one, so I didn't want to blunder and ruin this for him too.

"I don't think that – never have and never will," I assured him. "All I see is a young man who wants his father's attention, but his father would never allow himself to let down his manly façade long enough to give it. Now, this poor boy longs for that lost opportunity and feels he's found a substitute. There's nothing wrong with what you want and I'll bet nearly every one of my boys has felt similar longings, before they came to live with me. " I paused briefly, before continuing, to see how he was responding.

"There's something about a large percentage of American men that won't allow them to show another male a little affection, not even his son," I added. "It may be changing slightly now, since you see football players holding hands in the huddle or other athletes hugging and such. However, the mainstay American male is still too homophobic to do that just yet, no matter whom else he sees doing it first. Trust me, Ted, this isn't your problem. The problem belongs to your father."

He just looked at me, as if he were trying to read my mind, but I wasn't sure why. I just told him what I thought and felt, so what was there left to read? I didn't have time to figure it out for myself, before he gave me the answer.

"I think you're being serious, and if you are, you're the only person who understands how I feel," he informed me, before he began to weep lightly again. "I've spent my whole life trying to please my father, just so he'd love me, but no matter what I did, he only despised me… and now that he suspects I'm gay, he absolutely HATES me. Why does he treat me this way?"

I grabbed and hugged him tightly against my body, to show him not all men were like that.

"I'd be willing to bet he doesn't hate you," I tried to explain, "it's just that he's been so conditioned to think that any kind of male-to-male affection is wrong. Please, don't give up on him yet. He's not hopeless, but he's not going to change overnight either."

"I don't believe that," Ted sobbed on my shoulder. "I know he doesn't love me. In fact, I think he's embarrassed by me. I can't even stand being around him any more. Every time he looks at me, I can see it in his eyes. He's angry because I'm not what he wants me to be."

I knew there was no sense in arguing with him, so I just held him tight. I hoped what little love I could show him would help to ease the lingering pain he's kept hidden in his heart. His body was trembling and I could feel the dampness soaking the shoulder of my shirt, as his tears began to seep through the fabric. I could also tell he was getting weak in the knees, so I moved us toward my recliner. When I reached it, I sat down and pulled him onto my lap. Then, I let him release all of his pent up anguish. Hopefully, this catharsis will be productive and allow him an opportunity to put this behind him, although I sincerely doubt it will end so easily.

After he began to calm down, I went to talk to Jake, so I could explain the situation to him. He understood immediately and said he'd go tell Shannon he would be spending the night with him. That way, I could bring Ted in with me.

That's the great thing about Jake; he's sooooo damn understanding about things like this. Even though he told me he was doing it because he wanted to spend more time with his son, I knew it was for Ted's benefit. It was these special qualities about Jake that convinced me he was worth risking an estrangement with my biological children, even though those same children might not have seen it that way.

I went back to get Ted, who appeared to have settled down a little more. I took his hand, pulled him out of the chair and led him back to my bedroom. He was walking in sort of a daze until he hit the bedroom door and then his face began to light up.

"Thank you," he said, gratefully. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Oh, I think I have a good idea," I told him, "but I'll bet I'll enjoy it just as much as you will."

My comment made Ted smile for the first time in quite a while and then he hugged me. He held me in that embrace for many minutes, and when he finally released me, we stripped down to our underwear and climbed into bed. Once we were under the bedding, Ted slid his body as close to mine as he could possibly get. I could have sworn he was almost purring now, even though I believe it was just the sound of his gentle, even breathing that caused the illusion. However, it let me know how content he was at this moment and I was glad I had made this kind of an impact on him.

After turning off the lamp, I rolled on my side and faced him. I then put my arm across his chest and kissed him gently on the cheek. We lay there for a few more minutes, as I watched him enjoy our closeness, but finally I felt it was time to sleep.

"Good night, my boy, and sweet dreams," I whispered to him, before closing my eyes.

"Night, Dad," he mumbled, already drifting off. "I love you."

I wasn't sure if he was actually saying that to me or if he was pretending I was his father and finally treating him as he wished. Either way, he was satisfied and I knew he'd sleep well tonight.

When I awoke the next morning, I was still on my side, but Ted was also on his side, facing me. He had his arm draped over my body and one of his legs hooked over both of mine. He was also sporting a morning erection, which was poking into me. Although I was pretty sure this was not created by sexual arousal, just his need to urinate, I didn't want to embarrass him. So, when I saw him beginning to wake, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, so his condition wouldn't be an issue. However, he remained as he was and made no move to go pee. After a few more minutes of this standoff, I opened my eyes and looked directly into his.

"Good morning, my boy," I greeted him.

"Morning, Dad," he responded, which caused me to worry slightly. Was he making more out of this than he was supposed to? My concern must have registered on my face, because he began to panic a bit, in response.

"Does it bother you when I call you Dad?" he asked, alarmed. "If it does, I promise I won't do it again."

"Ted, it doesn't bother me. In fact, I'm flattered that you feel so comfortable saying it," I stated, so I didn't bruise his already batter ego. "However, I don't want to replace your dad. I think you could still work things out with him, but if you can't, we can discuss this issue again later."

"I know, and I'm not using you to replace him," he explained, "it's just that I feel too close to you now to call you Mr. Currie or Josh."

"Well, I can give you two other options then. You can call me Uncle Josh, if you'd like…" I stated, and then paused to study his reaction. It wasn't as positive as I'd hoped for, so I continued. "Or you can call me Pop. Some of the other boys do that too, like Brandon and Nick. This is so they didn't confuse me with their own fathers."

His face lit up again. "Yeah, I like that… Pop," he said tentatively. It was as if he were trying it out, to see how it felt to him. "Yeah, I like that a lot!" He grinned and squeezed me with the arm he had draped over my side. We stayed this way for a few more minutes, before I thought I should say something more.

"Well, do you think it's time we got up?" I asked him.

"Do we have to?" he whined. "Can't we stay like this a little longer?" He gave me a pleading look, hoping it would make me give in.

"We could, but isn't there something you need to do?" I asked, hoping that would give him the required hint, without causing him any embarrassment. He thought for a minute, as he tried to figure out what I was referring to, and then it dawned on him.

"Do you mean my boner?" he asked, pressing it into me a little more firmly, but again, not in a sexual way.

"Yes, I thought you might need to use the toilet," I explained.

"I do, but I don't want this to end," he reasoned.

"Well, go urinate and I'll wait for you to come back. Then, we can cuddle some more, if you still want to," I urged. "We just have to do something about it, because that spear is sticking into me and beginning to get a little uncomfortable."

This statement made him chuckle, but he got my point, jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom. Nothing happened for a few seconds, but then I heard his stream hitting the bowl. He must have really had to go, because it lasted a long time. However, shortly after I heard the toilet flush, he was bounding back into bed, with a big shit-eating grin on his face.

"You look happy," I told him, as he scooted back in beside me.

"I am. I'm happier than I think I've ever been before," he explained, as he swung his arm and one leg over my body. Once again, he was as close to me as he could possibly get, without crawling inside my skin.

Since I wanted to keep him feeling wanted, I slid my arm under his body and reached around behind him, so I could hold him close to me too. I know it was probably just my imagination, but the room seemed to brighten at that moment. It almost appeared as if this small action made him glow and added even more brilliance to the natural lighting. Although I knew this was scientifically impossible, it did make me wonder if his momentary euphoria could actually affect the physical laws of nature.

I guess when I did this, it also gave him a boost in confidence, because he kissed me. It wasn't a sensual kiss, but they type a child would give his mother. That simple gesture was so sweet that it brought a tear to my eye, which Ted noticed almost immediately.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to upset you and make you cry."

"You didn't," I explained. "That's a tear of happiness." After the meaning of my words sank in, he wiped the tear from my face with his fingertip and placed in his mouth.

"Must be why it tastes so sweet," he mused.

I let him enjoy our continued closeness for another half hour or so, before I told him we had to get up. However, by then he was so completely satisfied, it wasn't an issue any longer. As we were both slipping on our clothes, he walked over and gave me another hug, while letting the side of his face rest against my chest.

"I still wish you could really be my dad," he stated. His love and affection for me were evident in his tone.

"So do I," I replied, which surprised him, "but we both know that can't be. I'll continue to be your 'Pop,' if that will suffice, and I'll be here for you, if and when you need me." He hugged me a little harder after I finished my sentence, to show me he approved.

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot," he agreed, as he lifted his head. He then gave me another soft, gentle kiss on the cheek.

Ted's Aunt Jane arrived around 5:00 Friday evening, to pick him up. She was going to stay overnight this time, so I'd set it up with the Spences to have her sleep there. We'd all be going out to dinner with her first, so it wasn't like we were just pushing her off on our friends. However, the minute we heard her car pull into the driveway, Ted bolted from the house and raced to greet her. He barely let her get out of her car before he was hugging and kissing her on the cheek.

"Aunt Jane, Aunt Jane… I love it here." Ted gushed. "I wish I could stay with Pop forever."

"Pop?" Jane questioned, while looking from her nephew to me.

"Yeah, he lets me call him that, cuz he didn't think it would be right for me to call him Dad, like I wanted to," Ted explained. His words were falling off his tongue so rapidly that we were all surprised she understood a thing he said.

"Very interesting," she chuckled, while looking at me again. "I take it you two hit it off then?"

"Oh, yes," Ted answered for me, thinking his aunt was speaking to him. "I got along great with everyone. That's Sammy and Graham," he announced, while pointing in their direction. "They're two of my new brothers and also my best friends," he stated, with equal conviction. "We got along the best, although I really like everyone here."

His aunt was looking at him quite oddly and watching him carry on, while listening to his comments. Finally, she interrupted him.

"Josh, where is my Teddy?" she asked, playfully. "This can't be the same depressed boy I brought here the day after Christmas."

Her teasing caused Ted to look around to see if anyone was going to rag on him about the pet name she used for him. When he saw no one snickering or mocking him, he returned his attention to her.

"Oh, Aunt Jane. It's me," he assured her, "but the only difference is, I know I'm loved when I'm here. I wish Dad loved me like Pop does."

"He does love you, Teddy, and so does your mother," Jane confirmed. "How can you say that?" she asked, while looking at me, as if I put these ideas in his head.

"That's what Pop keeps saying," Ted acknowledged, "but I'm not so sure."

"Ted, I told you to give them a chance," I reiterated, for Jane's benefit. "Your dad might begin to soften, over time."

"Yes, I know everyone says he loves me, but he never shows me he does," Ted argued. "He looks at me like he's disgusted with what I am. He even avoids me, like I have some sort of contagious disease, and the only time he ever talks to me any more is when he screams and tells me everything he thinks is wrong with me." I think his response convinced Jane I had nothing to do with his attitude.

"Teddy," she said, "if you want, I'll talk to your parents when we get back, to see if I can make them understand how you feel."

"I doubt it will do any good," he replied, dryly.

"Would you at least let me try?" she persisted. "I don't think it will do any harm."

"I'm not so sure of that, but you can try if you want," he conceded, even though he still didn't look convinced it was worth the effort.

"Okay, then give me a chance to do that," she told him, as she looked hopefully in his direction. "I think they'll make some changes, once they understand this isn't just a teenage rebellion thing."

Ted rolled his eyes after his Aunt Jane said this, but he had turned his head so she couldn't see what he did. Since that issue had been settled, at least temporarily, I invited Jane to come inside, so we might have a cup of coffee and chat.

Chapter 30
Wishful Thinking

Once we were in the house, Ted led his Aunt Jane to the family room, so he could chat with her in private. Their conversation lasted many minutes, but then she joined Jake and I in the dining room. While Jake went to pour her a cup of coffee, she decided to spill her guts to me.

"I had no idea Teddy felt this way or things were so bad for him at home," she admitted. "I thought his problems just stemmed from being gay, but now he tells me it's been bad for years and just got worse when they discovered he was gay. When I asked him why he didn't tell me this before, he said it was because it would have only made things worse for him and he didn't have any other choices. Now, he thinks he can come here and live with you, if his dad throws him out."

Of course all kinds of things were going through my mind as she told me this. That's why I thought I had to convince her Ted felt this way when he arrived. I didn't want her to think it was due to anything I had said or done. Jake returned with her coffee and a plate of snacks just then, so I allowed her time to fix her coffee and select a treat before I responded.

"Jane," I began, once she was set, "I hope you don't think I tried to turn him against his family?"

"Oh, no," she blurted out faster than I expected, but then she began to blush. "Well, maybe a little at first, but not since I've had my little chat with Teddy. I'm not sure if he kept this a secret because he didn't want to put me in the middle or if he thought I'd take his parents side. He might have even believed it was an utterly hopeless situation and there was nothing I could do to change it. Whatever the reason, he did tell me he'd kept quiet intentionally."

"I'm glad that's clear," I sighed, feeling relieved.

"Josh, I can't tell you how grateful I am for the change I see in Teddy," she added, "and I wasn't joking outside. He IS a totally different young man than I brought here. The day I picked him up, he was moody and upset. Even though I knew he was looking forward to meeting your boys, he hardly spoke to me during the entire trip. In the past hour, he's told me more than he has during all of our conversations over the past couple of years."

"Jane, I think just being with my boys and hearing their stories made him realize he wasn't the only one with a problem. Then, when he saw how the boys are now, it helped to get him thinking about his own situation," I told her. "I feel he's working out his own strategy to improve things unilaterally, without discussing it with anyone else."

"I understand and I'm not questioning how it happened," she conceded. "It's just that he is so upbeat now. From what he's told me, it's because he has hope and feels loved – and that came from you. Almost every sentence he spoke during our conversation included something about you. He idolizes you, loves you and wants to stay here with you."

"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't mean for that to happen." I felt I owed her an apology.

"Sorry? Are you nuts? That's the miracle I was hoping for!" she exclaimed. "I thought it would be one of your boys who might bring it about, but just because he's fixated on you – there's nothing wrong with that. He's obviously needed a strong and loving father figure, which he isn't getting at home, so I couldn't be more thrilled that he's bonded with you."

"Whew! You had me worried for a minute," I confessed, "but I'm glad to hear you feel this way."

"Josh, if I could, I'd leave him here until the situation improves for him at home," she admitted, "but I know his father would go ballistic if I did that. I did promise Teddy I would help him with this though. If talking to his parents doesn't work, I'll see what I can do to have him come live with me, or live with you, if you'd be agreeable to that?"

I was stunned. I didn't see this coming at all. "Jane, I would never turn my back on Ted, and I've told him that," I admitted, "but I'd rather see him work things out at home."

"And so would I," she cut in, quickly, "but if that doesn't happen, I know he'd prefer to be here with you, rather than me."

"Just see what you can do," I suggested, "but if that time comes, call me and we'll work something out."

"Thanks, Josh," she replied. "You don't know what this means to both of us."

Our conversation about Ted's situation ended for now, but I knew it would most likely come up again. Jane was spending the night with the Spences, but they were all going to be joining us for dinner, so there would be plenty of opportunity to broach this subject further.

A little while later, I took her over to meet John and Margaret, so she'd have a chance to get acquainted. It would also give her an opportunity to settle in, get cleaned up and changed, before we went out to eat. Prior to leaving her there, I told Jane I'd see her at the restaurant, since she would be riding with the Spences.

When I returned home, I walked in the door and was immediately leaped upon by one excited kid.

"Aunt Jane's going to help me talk to my parents," he rattled off, "and if they don't want me any more, maybe I can come back here and live with you!" He said this in one breath and seemed more like an excited twelve-year old, rather than someone who was seventeen.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves again," I cautioned him. "There are many factors involved and many other options to be considered. Coming here to live is near the bottom of that long list, so let's wait and see what happens." His joyful face suddenly soured.

"You mean you don't want me now?" he pouted.

"Ted, that's not what I said or meant," I corrected, while hugging him against my body. "I want what's best for you and I truly believe that means patching things up with your parents. If that doesn't work, well, there are still other options, but I'd bring you here in the blink of an eye, if I was convinced that would be best." His face started to brighten again.

"Okay, I understand," he informed me. "I was just scared you'd changed your mind." I gave him a squeeze, just to prove I hadn't.

"How could I not want to keep you, if I got the chance?" I asked.

Ted gave me a very special grin, which instantly melted my heart and made me want to keep him, regardless of any other issues. However, I knew I still had to do what I thought was best for him.

"Ted, or do you prefer Teddy?" I joked. He just gave me a very threatening look, which silently warned me never to ask him that again.

"Ted, I was only teasing," I confirmed, "but not about being willing to take you in, if that's what's needed." Suddenly, he began to get playful again.

"I know, Pop, and I really do love you," he countered. "I can talk to you, come to you for help, tease you about things and that's just so far, but I could never do any of those things with my dad. I know I'd be so much happier if I could come live with you." He gave me that pleading look of his again, as if he thought it was the way to get to me.

"But if things improve at home, maybe you'll feel differently about that too," I suggested.

"Maybe, but I doubt it," he shot back.

"Just don't count your parents out yet," I urged. "They may love you so much they might even surprise you."

After convincing Ted that I'd never abandon him, I sent him off to shower and change, while I filled Jake in on everything that had happened over the past twenty-four hours. Jake let me know he was aware of how Ted felt about me and admitted he was worried Ted was falling IN love with me, not just loving me as a father. I told Jake I was sure that wasn't the case, as Ted had never even hinted at anything sexual. I even told Jake I'd even brought the issue up, since I was also worried about this, but Ted confirmed it wasn't the case. Even though I tried to convince Jake he didn't have to worry about this, I'm not sure I was successful. Realizing this, I would watch for any signs of that nature from Ted, just to be sure.

I took this opportunity to let the other boys know they should be getting ready too, if they planned to go out to eat with us. Once they had all been apprised, Jake and I started cleaning up as well. I had arranged for a fairly extravagant affair at one of the better establishments, to repay Jane for all she had done for Cody and Graham during the final few days of Cody's life.

I told the Spences this too, so they could dress appropriately and make sure Jane did as well, but it's harder to get the boys in their good clothes. They generally prefer the more casual look, but I had warned them they wouldn't be allowed to go, if they weren't dressed to my standards. I even had one of them lend Ted an outfit, since he didn't have anything I would deem appropriate.

As it neared the time to leave, I held my inspection and corrected the few problems I found, but everyone had basically done as they were told. Sammy and Graham had even gone to special lengths. They did something different to their hair and even used their best colognes. I also suspected they must have taken great pains in selecting what they thought would be the most appealing combinations of garments. I immediately understood why they did this, even though I knew neither boy considered himself to be gay, although possibly bi. Unfortunately for them, I'm sure Ted was totally oblivious to the fact their efforts were for him.

Dashing their hopeful spirits, Ted announced he was going to sit between his Aunt Jane and me, if I didn't mind. I told him that would be fine, which I think he took to mean he would be my shadow for the rest of the evening. He was right beside me, no matter what I was doing, and he even climbed into the front passenger seat of the van, when I went to drive my share of the family to our destination.

At the restaurant, the rest of our extended family joined us, because I wanted them to meet Jane too. Ted was clinging to my arm, almost like a date, but I determined it was because he didn't want us to get separated. He might have also had some slight trepidation about being in such a fancy establishment, since I doubted he'd ever been anyplace so nice before. Whatever the reason, I didn't make a big fuss about it and none of the boys did either.

When we sat down to eat, Ted sat on my left and Jake took the seat to my right. Ted also made sure his Aunt Jane was where he wanted. I could read the disappointment on Sammy and Graham's faces, as they watched Ted throughout the entire meal. I could also tell they were each scheming to find a way to correct this perceived wrong.

Jane had gotten along very well with the Spences, so they sat on the other side of her. From the start, I spent much of my time thanking her for all she had done for Cody and explained to everyone else how special she was. I believe Ted was most impressed listening to what I had to say. Even though he had been close to his aunt, I think this made him begin to see her in an even better light. Before we left the restaurant, everyone made sure they either thanked her or made some other appropriate comment about what she had done.

When we got ready to leave, Graham announced he was going to accompany Jane to the Spence's vehicle. He even rode with her and the Spences back to our house, since I had invited everyone to come there for dessert.

Once our guests arrived, I set out the cake I'd ordered earlier, so people could read the message I had the decorator place on it. It read, 'Our special thanks to our living angel, Nurse Jane.'

She hadn't seen it, until I asked her to make the first cut, and then she paused after reading those few words. She then took a few seconds to deal with her emotional response to our sincerest appreciation, before continuing. Eventually, she began to cut the cake and we passed around the pieces, but while everyone was eating, she made a secretive comment to me.

"Josh, we're even," she told me. "Whatever you think I did for Cody, you've more than made up for with Teddy. You don't need to do any more." I understood what she meant and knew she realized how we felt, so I just nodded, to let her know I agreed.

Throughout the evening, Jane got acquainted with our extended family. She got along very well with each of them, and by the time things were breaking up and everyone was heading home, I think she'd had a chance to speak with every one of them. When it came time for her to go back to the Spences, she stopped to talk to me one more time before she left.

"Josh, I can't believe how much support you have from all of these wonderful people," she gushed. "If I was impressed before, I'm ten times more impressed now. How in the world did you bring all of this together?"

"Luck. Blind luck," I told her. "Some of these wonderful people were friends before I began to take the boys in, but the rest happened to find us, more than we found them, and it was a good thing they did. They have been invaluable and each has helped in so many different ways. Every one of them has taken a personal responsibility for various boys, should anything ever happen to me, and I don't know what I'd do without Jake."

"Yes, I can tell you two are very close," she added, with a wink.

"I hope that doesn't bother you," I told her, with a touch of concern. Although she had been so open-minded about the boys, I wasn't sure if that same level of acceptance would apply to Jake and me. However, I soon discovered my fears were unfounded.

"Josh, I think it's wonderful you've found someone, especially someone as caring and loving as Jake appears to be. You both set fine examples for the boys and Teddy told me if he came to live here, he'd have two dads." She let out a little chuckle after saying this, but then read the questioning look on my face.

"Don't worry. We've talked more, since I first arrived, and he's explained to me that you feel he has to try to work things out first," she admitted. "Just the same, I'm warning you, if I don't see things improving for him, I'll let you know. As much as I love my nephew, I have to admit he'd be better off with you, than with me. As much as I adore him and want to protect him, he needs a man's influence and love. I could never give him that. We won't force you to take him to live here, but I do hope you'd at least seriously consider it, if things don't work out for him. I see how much you love your boys and I know you'd learn to love Teddy the same way."

"I have no doubt about that, for I already do love him and would eagerly take him in," I admitted. "I just want him to try his hardest to see if he can mend things with his father first. I truly believe that's what he really needs."

"I know you do, Josh, and thank you for caring about him like you do," she informed me. "I can see how much he loves you too, because it just pours from his eyes when he looks at you and radiates from his whole being when he's around you."

"That may be another problem," I admitted. "Jake thinks Teddy is IN love with me, not just loves me like a father." She thought about that for a few seconds, before she responded.

"That may be true, but I can't say for certain," she confessed. Jane looked thoughtful, but nonplussed by this idea. "I don't think that would be a problem, though, because he's also told me about a couple of your boys too, boys he thinks might like him a lot. So, even if he does have a teen crush on you, he is considering other options. He hasn't mentioned you in that same way and just talks about 'Pop' and how much he'd love to be your son."

Her words gave me some comfort, by letting me know I wouldn't have to deal with possibly breaking Ted's heart. Hopefully, things were under control. We talked a little longer, before she left with the Spences, but by that time, I think we had a pretty good understanding of each other and what we expected or wanted for Ted.

Without my knowledge, Jake and Ted had agreed to let Ted stay with me again tonight, but it was Jake who informed me of this fact.

"Josh, I'm going to stay with Shannon again, so Ted can spend his final evening with you," he announced. "It seems to be very important to him and I didn't think you'd mind, so I told him it was fine with me. He said he came to me first, to make sure I understood and wouldn't be jealous, and I think I misread the boy. From all he's said, you're just a father figure to him and nothing more. I hope you don't mind that I agreed to this, without checking with you first. He really needs you and this will be his last chance, unless his parents allow him to come visit again."

"I know, Jake," I said soothingly, "and I don't mind. In fact, I appreciate your being so understanding. I think it's very big of you to have even considered it, knowing you thought Ted's intentions might be more than they appeared. I love you, Jake, and thanks for being such a fantastic guy." I gave him a huge hug and a very passionate kiss for his caring attitude.

As we finished cleaning up after everyone left, I kept turning around and bumping into Ted, who was voluntarily giving us a hand. He would grin at me each time I looked at him and was always doing some sort of task close to where I was working. I knew Jake was right and Ted did need this final opportunity to spend time with me, so I would do my best for him.

Once everything was finished, Ted followed me to my bedroom, but didn't seem certain if I knew he was supposed to spend the night with me. "Is it all right for me to stay with you again?" he asked, timidly.

"Yes, Ted," I confirmed. "Jake told me about your conversation with him, so you're more than welcome here." He began to relax and lighten up.

"Okay, I just wasn't sure," he admitted. "I didn't want you to be mad that I didn't ask you first." He looked a little apprehensive again.

"No, not mad, but I do hope you will come to me first, in the future," I suggested, and he nodded in agreement. "So, shall we go to bed then?" Ted didn't respond immediately.

"I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything, but could I ask you a big favor?" He looked worried that I wouldn't agree to this and I had no idea what he might ask, but it did seem to be very important to him.

"You may ask me anything and I'll listen to what you have to say, but that doesn't mean I'll always do what you want," I explained. "If it is reasonable, I may do as you ask, but if I see any problems or illegalities in your request, then I'll tell you that too. So, what did you want to ask me?"

He didn't look very confident now, but did manage to gather up enough courage to pose his question. "Would you mind if we didn't go to sleep right away? It's just that I enjoy being alone with you like this and don't want it to end so quickly, by going to sleep."

I could tell by the look on his face how important this was to him, but his body posture told me he was still nervous that I wouldn't agree with his request.

"Sure, if that's what you want to do, but I'm not sure I understand what you might want to do, other than sleep." I looked at Ted, to see if he might respond.

"I'm not sure I know either," he confessed, "but last night you made me feel good, like I was really your son, but it ended way too soon. I want that feeling to last longer tonight, that's all." His eyes were pleading with me, like he thought I'd think he was nuts and not go along with his suggestion.

"Okay, that sounds fine to me," I began, "I'm in no hurry to go to sleep either. So, do you want to take your shower tonight or in the morning?"

"Can I wait 'til morning?" he asked.

"Sure, I have no problem with that," I agreed. "Why don't you get ready for bed then, while I turn down the covers?"

"Okay," he responded. He then proceeded to take off his clothes, until he was just in his underwear. While, he was doing that, I pulled the covers back and got it ready for him to slide in. Once he had stripped down, I gave him his next instruction.

"Hop into bed," I advised him, while lifting the sheet and quilt for him to crawl underneath. Once he was in place, I tucked the covers in around him and kissed him on the forehead. He looked at me, bewildered.

"Aren't you going to sleep with me?" he wondered.

"Eventually, but you said you didn't want this to end too soon," I advised him, "so, we'll do something a little different tonight." He looked confused.

I crawled onto the bed beside him, on top of the quilt and began to stroke his face and hair. After I had done this for a few seconds, I began to tell him a story.

"Long ago, in a far away land, where kings and queens still ruled, there was a lonely young man who longed to have a family of his own. He had been taken during a battle, when a neighboring kingdom raided his village. Since that time, he had been forced to live as a slave and work for a wealthy family.

"He hated his life, not only because he was a slave, but mostly due to the fact that he had no family and no one to love him. He would watch his master's children and the children of other wealthy families, and noticed how they were loved and adored. This caused him to long to be loved and cared for as they were.

"He couldn't even play with the other children, because he was only a slave and that wasn't allowed. This caused him to become even more depressed than he already was. He couldn't figure out why the deities had relegated him to such a life and why he had been taken from his old home. Then one night another slave tried to explain the situation to him.

"'The Gods have plans for us all and even though we sometimes cannot see the reasons for their actions, a larger power is at work here.' This didn't seem to help the boy either and only befuddled him more, so nothing changed.

"Months later, the king had a dream, but no one could tell him what it meant. The king promised great wealth and power to anyone who could explain the meaning of his dream, but still no one could provide him with the answers he sought. Finally, the king issued a proclamation, which was read aloud in every village and told the details of his dream. He did this to see if anyone could advise him as to the meaning of his vision. No one could, until the news reached the village where this young boy was a slave. As soon as the boy heard the dream, he understood what it foretold and advised the herald who had read it aloud. The boy was immediately taken back to the castle, so he could share his explanation with the king.

"When the boy was brought before him, the king looked skeptical and doubted such a young man could do something even his most powerful advisors could not. With grave reservations, he decided to listen to what the lad had to say. 'So you can tell me the significance of my dream?' the king asked. The boy nodded. 'Then give me this information now and you shall have whatever you desire.'

"The boy looked at the king, swallowed hard, and then began to tell him the gist of his vision. 'Sire, is it not true that you saw a giant snake coming out of the water and it sneaked up behind a bear and then devour it?' The king nodded his head in agreement. 'Then this is what I think it means. Your crest has a bear on it, to symbolize the strength of your line, so I believe the bear in your dream represents your kingdom. The serpent that slithers out of the water and devours the bear represents an invading army, which shall cross the ocean and defeat your warriors, if you are not prepared.'

"The king thought about what the boy had told him and saw it might be true. He then advised his generals to prepare for such a threat. When this attack did happen, the king and his army were able to defeat the invaders and save the kingdom. The king was so ecstatic about this that he advised the boy he would come to live in the castle as his reward. He would be raised as the King's own son and be next in line for the throne. However, this was not what the boy wanted.

"After considering his options, he finally spoke to the king. 'Sire, although I am honored by your offer, you did promise I could have whatever I wanted, didn't you?' The king nodded. 'Then, there is another reward I would much prefer.'

"The king told him he wasn't quite sure he understood why he would turn down his offer, but asked what he wanted instead. 'I wish to be reunited with my own family,' the young man replied.

"After asking the boy's parents' names and where they lived, the king sent some of his soldiers out to locate them. After a couple of weeks of searching, the warriors returned with the boy's mother and father and they were reunited. The king also made the boy one of his advisors and gave his family a wonderful home to live in. The boy finally had what he wanted. He was loved and doted on, from that day forward."

After I finished the story, Ted thought about it for a while before he looked up at me and spoke. "Are you trying to tell me that will happen for me too?"

"In a way," I admitted, "but I was also telling you there are many things about life we don't understand and maybe we're not meant to. There might be a hidden purpose for the way your life turned out and possibly there isn't, but there may be other issues we haven't considered yet. As you saw, even though the king offered to love and care for the boy, the boy preferred the love of his parents instead."

"So, you told me this story so I'd try to work things out with my parents?" he wondered.

"I told you this story to point out that there is more than one option to any problem, so it's not always wise to choose the most obvious. It may not be what's best for you. The boy could have been happy being the son of the king, but he knew there was more that he wanted. I hope you will also take the time to determine what you really want and do what's best for you."

Ted nodded, before lying back and getting comfortable. I continued to lie beside him for several more minutes, to give him time to think about what I had just told him. Eventually, I got up, undressed and climbed into bed beside him.

I lay on my back next to him and Ted rolled over and put his head on my chest. I reached my arm under his body and drew him tightly against me, as if I were protecting a small child. He gave me a squeeze and then relaxed completely. It wasn't long before he contently slipped into a deep slumber.

Chapter 31
Albert

Ted and his Aunt Jane left on Saturday, after lunch. Although Ted was sad he had to return home, I could tell he was also hopeful that Jane could possibly help him build a relationship with his father. He made sure he came over to hug me before he left and it was a long and tender embrace, with his ear resting over my heart. When he broke his hold, he then gave me a kiss on the lips. It was just an affectionate little peck, not the passionate, open-mouth variety, and I knew he meant this to indicate how much he cared for me.

I noticed Jane watching his every move, but she was grinning as broadly as he was when it was all over. As Ted started to walk away, I tousled his hair and then smacked him playfully on the butt, when he got ready to get into her car. That caused him to turn his head and make a face at me, before he wiggled his fanny in my direction. He then looked over his shoulder and winked, smiled and said, "I love you, Pop," before he crawled into the passenger's seat. As they drove away, he waved and blew kisses at us until they were out of sight. I knew Sammy, Graham and I would miss him as much as he missed us.

Now that our company had departed, the rest of us had our own things to take care of. The high school boys would be heading back to class on Monday, but the college boys had another week or two at home before they had to return, so they wouldn't be affected. They could take it easy while the rest of us got back into our normal routines.

I had those not in college check to make sure their school clothes were clean, they had their books and other things in order, including any assignments that might be due. I also asked them to think if there was anything special they might need, before they returned. While the boys were busy doing all of this, I got my own things in order, since I knew I needed to be ready to return to work as well.

After I finished my preparations, I hopped on the computer to check my correspondence and discovered an email from Nick. I opened it immediately.

Hi Pop,

Mom and Dad just left and we had a great time. They met my host family and I showed them around where I've been living and then we went to Sao Paulo. We didn't stay there long, because they took me on a trip to Rio de Janeiro and Brasilia. We had a great time there too. We went to see Maracana Stadium, which is huge. They use it mostly for soccer games, but they also hold concerts there. They say it holds 90,000 people.

We also went to see the Statue of Christ the Redeemer, which sits atop the Corcovado Mountains and overlooks Rio. It's a huge statue of Christ with his arms held out to his side, in the form of a giant cross. We went up to the top of the mountain to see it too and the view was awesome. You could see all the beaches and everything.

We also went to see the Governor's Palace, the Metropolitan Cathedral and the Imperial Palace. They were all nice, but the best part was going to the beaches. It's summer down here, so it was just great. We spent a lot of time there and I met a really cute boy one day, but I'll tell you about that when I get back.

Oh, and thanks for all the stuff you sent. It was really great. Thank you for doing that for me.

I'll be coming home in April, but I've promised Mom and Dad I'd come spend the month of June with them. I hope you don't mind. I've had a blast here, but I can't wait to come back there, cuz I miss all of you.

Love you all and will see you in a few months, Nick

I was pleased to hear from Nick, although I actually thought I'd be hearing from his parents first. They must still be on their way home and unable to contact me. I printed a copy of Nick's email, so the boys could read it too. Then, I put it on the fridge, where they would be most likely to see it, during one of their multiple raids.

That night, Jake and I got to spend some quiet time alone, but he asked me how things had gone with Ted and what I thought might happen next. I told him I didn't know, but I was hopeful Ted could work things out at home, with his Aunt Jane's help. If he didn't, we'd go over his other options at that time.

Jake said he understood, but expected Ted would be calling to join us soon. Jake said this because he wasn't convinced Ted wanted to work things out with his parents. He admitted he'd been studying how Ted idolized me and noticed how Ted watched and mirrored my every move. Jake also said he felt Ted would want to come back, so he could be closer to me. Although I didn't totally agree with his conclusions, I did respect his viewpoint and told him I'd keep that in mind.

The next morning we went off to church, as usual, and then we went out for Sunday brunch. We'd been home for an hour or so when the phone rang, and then I heard the familiar, "Dad, it's for you," coming from one of the boys, so I went to answer it.

"Hello," I began.

"Uncle Pop, it's Richard!" the voice said, like I wouldn't have realized it was Richard from just hearing the Uncle Pop. However, I could also tell something was wrong, because he sounded panicked, although I wasn't sure why.

"Richard, what's the matter?" I asked, concerned.

"It's Dad. He's had a heart attack or something," he told me. "I've called 911 and we're waiting for the ambulance now. Mom's aide has been helping him, but I'm going with him to the hospital. The aide said she'd watch mom while we were gone. Would you meet us at the hospital? Please? I don't think I can do this alone." He was almost sobbing now.

"Yes, Richard, I'll meet you there. Just keep calm and breathe deeply," I urged him. "You don't need to hyperventilate and make matters worse. Hang in there and I'll see you in a few minutes."

As soon as I hung up, Jake and the others began asking questions. I told them what I could, as I grabbed my coat and car keys, and then I headed for the door. My mind was whirling with a myriad of thoughts, as I considered what was happening to Albert. Along with Arlene's situation, this was the worst-case scenario for Richard.

I didn't want to be pessimistic about what was happening, but felt I had to work various options out in my mind, so I'd be prepared for whatever might come. Richard would need my guidance and advice, because this would be a very emotional time for him and he wouldn't be thinking clearly. I pulled into the parking lot and then raced to the emergency room.

As soon as I entered, I saw Richard pacing back and forth in the waiting area. About the same time, he happened to look up and saw me coming toward him. I could see the tears streaming down his cheeks and his chest was heaving, as he tried to keep from breaking down.

"He's dead," he gasped out, and then he let loose his emotions and began to cry. "He had another heart attack in the ambulance and they couldn't save him."

Richard was sobbing frantically now and I was having difficulty keeping my own emotions under control. I just held him tight, fearing I'd have trouble choking out a response.

"I want to see him," Richard suddenly announced, catching me totally off guard.

"Are you sure?" I asked, thinking this might not be the time for him to try to deal with seeing his father's body. I thought it might be best for him to wait and do this at the funeral home, when it might be easier to cope with.

"Yes, Uncle Pop. I have to say good-bye," he announced, adamantly. I knew what he meant, since I've gone through this myself and watched my boys deal with similar situations, so I gave in to his request.

"Okay, let me go check with the nurses," I replied, "but you wait here until I come back for you. All right?" He nodded and I went off to set this up for him. We had to wait a few minutes, so the staff could make Albert presentable, and then they let us in.

"Do you want to do this by yourself?" I asked.

"I'm not sure I can. Will you go with me? Please?" came his answer. He knew I'd do whatever he wanted.

We went into the room where they had tried to resuscitate Albert. The nurses had cleaned up his body and pulled a sheet, up to his chest. Richard tentatively walked up beside the gurney and reached out to touch his father's hand. He sat there that way for a moment, before he began to speak.

"I already miss you, Dad," he sobbed out, "and I hope you know I love you and always will. Even though we've only been together a few short years, you and Mom are the most important people in my life and you've done more for me than you can ever imagine. I love you both dearly and thank you for everything you did for me. I will definitely be lost without you here."

Suddenly, he stopped talking and just stood motionless, but I could see his body begin to tense up. I wasn't sure what was happening, or if I should try to console him, but finally the floodgates opened and his dam burst.

"Dad, why did you have to be so stubborn? Why did you have to tell the overnight aide we didn't need her any more? Why didn't you let Uncle Pop and the boys help? Didn't you love me enough to let them do that for us? I need you and now you aren't here for me. Why didn't you love me enough to swallow your pride and accept their help?"

I could no longer remain in the background after hearing this, so I moved forward and wrapped my arms around him from behind. It was my way of reminding him I was still here for him.

"Richard, he did love you and that's why he did what he did," I began "He felt it was important that you and he take care of your mother, not a bunch of outsiders. He was showing you he'd do anything for the ones he loved and make any sacrifice necessary to care for them. Don't blame him or think he didn't love you, because he did, from the very depths of his soul." I looked at Richard, to see if he comprehended what I told him. When I saw he did, I continued.

"I know this, because he's told me so on very many occasions," I added. "Instead of hating him now or dwelling on what he did, let your love for him show through. If he can still see you, he probably feels badly enough about leaving you alone, but there's nothing he can do about that now." I held Richard tightly and eventually felt the tightness ebb from his body. As this happened, he began to sob hysterically.

"I do still love him, Uncle Pop, except I don't know what I'm going to do now," he stated, while turning his head around, so he could look at my face. His eyes were pleading with me to give him some sort of answer about what was going to happen next.

"Don't worry," I told him. "Remember what I said at Thanksgiving. We take care of family and you're family, so we'll take care of you too."

"I know, but I can't run the farm and take care of mom on my own," he confessed. "I'm not even sure if you guys can help me do that, even though I know you'll try."

"Richard, let's not worry about that now," I urged. "We'll work things out, but tell me how this happened." Richard stood wrapped in thought for a few more seconds, before he spoke again.

"I don't think Dad had been sleeping much," he told me, trying to rationalize what had occurred, "but he was still doing all the work around the farm. If he hadn't told the overnight aide we didn't need her, this probably wouldn't have happened," he stated again. It appeared he still felt the need to blame someone or something for what happened.

"I should have been more insistent about letting us help cover that shift," I admitted, as a way of taking away some of his guilt. "It's just that I knew your father very well and didn't want to offend him by pressuring him in to accepting our offer. Damn it all. The aide schedule goes back to full coverage tomorrow, so why did this have to happen today?"

Now, I was also blaming myself for not MAKING Albert accept our help, for if I had, it's possible he wouldn't have had this heart attack. Finally, however, I came back to my senses and realized I needed to be there for Richard and not dealing with other issues. With this in mind, I began to offer him some comfort.

"Richard, I think you know your parents made me your legal guardian," I advised him, "should something happen to them. They did this so you'd always have a home."

"I know, but what about mom?" he asked, while looking at me. I could tell he was deeply concerned about her future, not just his own.

"We'll take care of her too," I added. "The aides will help and we'll make things work."

"Are you sure?" he asked, still unconvinced. "She'll be terribly confused and upset by this, so she'll probably be hard to deal with." I could read the worry written all over his face.

"We'll get through it. I promise," I told him, hoping that would be enough to reassure him.

"Uncle Pop, I've lost them both now," Richard sobbed, before burying his face into my chest. He was crying forcefully, so I let him continue to release the anguish he was feeling for a few more minutes. Eventually, he stopped and looked up at me again.

"Mom doesn't even know who I am most of the time any more and she gets sooooo confused," he confessed. "I really have lost them both now, you know."

"That may be true, but you still have me and the boys," I suggested, to let him know he'd never be alone. "You'll come live with us and we'll take care of your mother too."

"But what about the farm?" Richard asked, very concerned.

"We'll talk about that later, but we'll work something out about the farm as well," I offered. "Will that be all right with you?"

Richard merely nodded, but didn't speak this time. Since I felt he'd had a chance to say what he'd intended, I decided it was time for him to say his final good-bye. Then, I'd take him with me for a while, to give him a chance to grieve and work through his problems in relative seclusion. The aides would be with Arlene for the rest of the day and that would give us a chance to figure something out, before the final aide left for the day.

Richard was still hesitant about leaving his father's body, but I finally pried him away and drove us home. I knew the boys would do whatever was needed to help him work through this, once we got there, so that didn't concern me.

The boys were very helpful and did everything they could to make Richard feel better. The minute I felt Richard was okay without me, I broke away and ran to grab the phone. Then, I started calling our extended family, to let them know what had happened. Even though they all expressed grief over Albert's loss, the Spences went a step further.

"Josh, you can't take care of Richard AND Arlene," Margaret informed me. "Let us take Arlene in with us. She feels an attachment to me and with the aides helping out, I'm sure we can handle it."

"Margaret, I appreciate the offer, but this may be more than you can or should be taking on," I countered.

"Nonsense," she responded, more emphatically than I expected. "You said it perfectly at Thanksgiving – we do what we have to do to help the family, and John and I want to do this. It will be fine."

"Margaret, I really do appreciate your offer," I told her, "but such a change will be hard on Arlene."

"Any change will be hard on Arlene, whether she comes to live with you, with us or goes to a home," Margaret explained, "so that shouldn't be part of the equation." She had a point and I had to admit she was right.

"That's very true, but I'll have to discuss this with Richard first, before I can give you an answer," I explained. "I'm not sure he'll want to be separated from his mother right now."

"I understand," she replied, "but please make sure he understands we really WANT to do this for them."

"I will, Margaret, and I'll let you know what he decides." I thought that was more than generous for her and John to offer, but I'm not sure how Richard would react to such an idea. I would discuss it with him, but I didn't think this was the appropriate time to do it. The first thing we had to attend to was making arrangements for Albert's funeral.

I went and found Richard, to tell him there were some things we needed to talk about. He followed me into the family room, and as I sat down, he immediately seated himself across my lap and leaned his head upon my shoulder. Rather than bring up the issue of the funeral right away, I just held him and let him get comfortable.

"What is it we need to talk about?" he asked, as he lifted his head and broke the silence.

"I think we need to talk about the funeral arrangements," I announced, which caused his face to drop a little. "I know this isn't easy, but it needs to get done, so I must know if your dad ever said anything to you about such a situation."

"I know we have to do this, so I'll be okay," Richard admitted. "Yeah, Dad and I talked about this a little, but it was about Mom at the time. They have plots at the cemetery and they both have life insurance, to cover the costs of the funeral." That was actually more information than I'd expected him to know.

"Well, that's a start," I agreed. "Do you know which cemetery?"

"Yeah, the one near where we live," Richard confirmed. "You know, down by the old church." I nodded my head in response.

"Where do you want the funeral and services to be held?" I followed. I could see him thinking hard about this.

"How about like you did for Cody," he suggested. "That was nice."

"Fine. Would you like me to make the arrangements for you?" I followed, to take another burden from him.

"Yes, but can I go with you when you do it?" he asked. "I want to help make some of the decisions." He looked so sad and lost as he said it.

"Of course you can," I quickly agreed. "Let me make a couple of phone calls and then we'll be on our way." He nodded and I went to call the funeral home and the church, to set appointments for us to meet with them. The funeral director told us to come down directly, which I figured he would, and I set up a meeting with the minister immediately afterward. I ran to get something else first, then got Richard and we drove off.

Chapter 32
More Adjustments

At the funeral home, Richard picked out the casket his father would be laid to rest in. It was a silver, metallic casket, which looked very elegant.

"Dad said his next car would be this color," Richard told me, to justify his selection.

With this decided, Richard selected the vault the casket would be placed in, when it was lowered into the ground. Once this was done, we went to the director's office, so Richard could give him the information he needed for the obituary.

Richard knew most of the information, but occasionally I would have to jump in to fill in the gaps. I was able to do this, because Albert had given me some information when Richard first came to live with him. In fact, it was those notes that I ran in to retrieve before we left the house. I pulled the paper from my pocket and located the required details as they were needed. When this process had been completed, we set up times for the calling hours and funeral service, before I took Richard over to the church. We would complete the final arrangements there.

After I introduced Richard, the minister asked him some questions about Albert. He was looking for anecdotal information he could use in the eulogy, to make it more personal. Since our pastor didn't know Albert very well, because the Beckers only occasionally attended services with us, this material was essential for him to be able to depict a true picture of Albert.

Richard answered all of our clergyman's questions as best he could, but intermittently I would add details Richard wasn't aware of. These were things I had learned about Albert during our many conversations and I felt these tidbits would give the minister a truer picture of our departed loved one. Once this interview was concluded, Richard and I went to pick Arlene up, so the aide could leave for the day. On the drive there, I decided it would be a good time to discuss the Spences' proposal with him.

"Richard, Mrs. Spence has offered to have your mother come live with them," I began. "She did this because she likes your mother and Arlene has showed a particular attachment to Margaret over the years. I will have the aide coverage moved there, if you decide you approve of this, or we could take your mother in to live with us. I will leave that particular decision up to you."

Richard sat looking in my direction, but his eyes were focused on nothing in particular. He was merely lost in thought and weighing the options over in his mind. It was several minutes before he spoke again.

"The Spences are home all day, right?" he asked.

"Yes, they are retired and don't go out very often," I replied. "They do go shopping for groceries and other things, but I'm sure they would either take your mother with them or leave her with the aide, depending on how she is that day. They also join us from time to time, for our various get-togethers, so they will bring your mother with them when they do."

"That means they'll be able to keep a really close eye on Mom, right?" he pressed, while trying to clarify the situation in his mind. He didn't want to make a hasty or inappropriate decision.

"Yes, with the two of them at home and the aides assisting," I concurred, "they should be able to keep a very good watch over your mother." I could tell he was thinking about this some more.

"And I can go visit her whenever I want?" he followed. I knew my answer would have a great impact on how he decided.

"I'm positive the Spences would have no problem with you going there to visit whenever you wished," I assured him.

"And they live close enough so I can walk to their place from your house?" he persisted, since he didn't remember the Spences were our next-door neighbors.

"They live in the next house down the hill," I clarified. "They bought that particular house so they would be close to us and you can easily walk there whenever you want."

"Okay, I think that would be best for all of us then," he agreed. "Having Mom in the house can really upset things and with everyone going in and out so much, you might lose track of her. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that Mom can be hard to watch, even without so many people coming and going. She could easily slip out behind one of them and they might not even notice she had done so. She could go around the corner and be out of sight quickly, so they wouldn't see her, even if they did turn around.

"There are other reasons too," Richard added. "A lot of times Dad had to give her a bath or clean her up after she had an accident. I don't think any of you should have to do that and I think Mom would feel better if a woman was helping her. Even though I want to stay in the same place with her, I think it would be better if she was with Mrs. Spence. I'll visit her every day, so it won't be like I don't ever see her and it won't be that bad." I reached over and placed my hand on his leg, so I could pat it a couple of times, just to let him know I was there for him.

"Richard, I agree with your reasoning and think it's a very wise move," I concurred. "Mrs. Spence has always had a special connection with your mother and I know she'll take very good care of her. Not only that, but Margaret has the time to do a more thorough job than we do. Since you'll be going to visit your mother on a regular basis and with the aides to help, I think she should do just fine."

I could see Richard still had some doubts about doing it this way, because he still wore a very sad expression on his face. For that reason, I thought I'd offer him a little more encouragement.

"Richard, even though it's a difficult decision for you to make – hell, it's a tough decision for anyone to make, but it's the best option you have. This will keep your mother from being placed in a nursing home and will put her with loving friends. You will be with her as much as you can and she'll still be there for our family functions. That's the best a loving son can do at this point, so you can't feel bad about it."

"I know, but it's still a hard thing for me to do," he confessed. "I felt like I lost her a long time ago, but now that Dad is gone too, I feel like an orphan again." He paused and began to weep. I reached out and pulled him against me.

"You'll never be an orphan," I promised, while trying to will some strength into him. "You'll have two more dads, even though Jake or I would never attempt to replace your father. We realize we'd never be able to truly fill Albert's shoes, but we will do our best for you. You'll also end up with a slew of brothers, whether you want them or not. You're stuck with each of them and all of their faults, so I hope you're ready to become part of our nuthouse." This comment caused him to break into a grin and he even giggled a little, through his tears. I was glad to see him perk up even that much.

"It's not that I'm unhappy about coming to live with you," he explained, "because that's what I wanted to do, before I met my mom and dad. It's just that I hate the thought that I've lost them so quickly. I was hoping I'd be in college, or even older, before anything like this happened."

"I understand and I'm sorry fate has worked against you, but we all have to play the cards life deals us," I explained. "You're a survivor, and we both know that, so I have no doubt you'll do well and blossom with us. You also won't have to worry about your future, because between Albert's estate and what we can do for you, you'll be able to go to college or whatever else you might be inclined to do." Richard looked shocked after hearing me say this.

"Uncle Pop, you don't have to do all that for me!" he exclaimed. "You have all the other boys to take care of too and I don't want to take anything away from them." He was being sincere, yet emphatic. I could tell he was truly upset by the thought I'd be robbing the other boys for him.

"That won't happen, Richard," I replied. "The boys are set up already. Each has his own account for college or to start life on his own with, so no one will lose a thing. However, we're going to make sure you're taken care of too. Besides, the farm is the key here and will take care of most of your needs. I'm just grateful your father decided to buy it back a couple of years ago or this might not have worked out so well for you."

"Uncle Pop, thank you and I love you so much," he told me. He then locked us in a somewhat lengthy embrace, even though I was driving at the time.

"When we get to the farm," Richard added, "I'm going to give you even more hugs." After he said this, he also flashed me one of his special grins.

"I'll take that as payment in full for your debt," I responded.

"No way!" he exclaimed. "Maybe a bunch of hugs every day, but not just today." I just looked at him and smiled.

"Sounds like a great deal for me," I agreed. "I'll take it." It was nice to see he was temporarily out of the doldrums.

Shortly after that, we pulled into the driveway at the farm. After I stopped the car in front of the house, we got out and headed toward the door, but not before Richard kept his promise. He raced over and hugged me again, long and hard, before tilting his head upward and kissing me on the cheek. When he pulled away, he thanked me again.

I have always felt a special connection to Richard and love it when he's around. I suspected someday he might have to come live with us, but I didn't want it to happen so soon or under such dire circumstances. However, I was pleased to see he was excited about the idea of being with us too.

As we entered the house, the aide greeted us. She said Arlene was having a fairly decent day, so we decided to go speak with her. We walked upstairs, knocked and entered her room when she told us we could.

"Hello, Arlene," I greeted her, as we walked in. "How are you feeling today?"

"Oh, hello, Josh," she responded, sounding like her old self and apparently in a fairly decent mood.

"I didn't hear you come in. Do you know where Albert is?" she asked, looking concerned. "That person downstairs won't tell me anything. Oh, Richard," she said, once she noticed her son behind me, "come here and give your mother a hug and kiss. You haven't done that yet today."

Richard did as he was told, but the tears were already streaming down his cheeks. "Richard, what is wrong with you dear? Why are you crying?" Richard looked over at me, seeking help.

"Arlene," I began, taking him off the hook, "we have some bad news for you. Maybe you should sit down first."

"Josh, I don't need to sit," she stated, defiantly. "I'm not feeble or an invalid, so tell me what's wrong with Richard?"

"It's not Richard. It's Albert," I advised her. "He had a heart attack earlier. I'm sorry, but he's gone."
"Gone where?" she asked. It was evident she didn't fully comprehend the implication of what I'd told her.

"Arlene, Albert's dead. He passed away earlier in the day from a heart attack." As it began to sink in, she started to weep too.

"Why didn't anyone say anything or take me to be with him?" she wondered. I had to come up with something quickly, rather than depress her about her own situation.

"Albert and Richard had run to town to pick up a few things and it happened while they were gone," I explained, hoping that would satisfy her curiosity. "Arlene, it happened so quickly that they had to rush Albert to the hospital, but he was gone before we could have you brought there. We also felt it would be best if we came to tell you in person, rather than on the phone. I'm so sorry."

Richard was hugging his mother tightly and she was sobbing on his shoulder. After a minute or so, she looked up at me.

"When can I see him, Josh?" she asked. Looking at the sadness in her eyes, I completely understood how she felt and knew what she was going through.

"He's at the funeral home," I replied, "and you can see him tomorrow, during the calling hours." She looked a little put off that she'd have to wait until then, but quickly recovered.

"Did he suffer?" she wanted to know.

"No, Arlene. I understand he went quickly," I assured her. "He didn't have time to suffer."

"That's good," she replied, succinctly.

"Arlene, we're going to take you with us now," I told her. "You're going to stay with Margaret and John Spence for a while, so you'll be closer for the calling hours and funeral. Richard will stay at my place, with my boys and me. Is that all right with you?" She thought about this for a second and then responded.

"Oh, yes. That will work fine. I'd love to see Margaret again," she agreed. "Come on, Richard, we both have to pack a suitcase for this visit."

They went off together, to get their things, and I suggested to the aide that she should go see if she could help. While they were busy doing that, I waited downstairs. Since I was alone, I checked out the house and made a couple of quick phone calls. I contacted a few of the neighbors to explain what had happened and asked if they could look after the animals for a few days, until we could work something out. Once they agreed and that task had been taken care of, I studied the pictures scattered about on the shelves or hung on the walls. It was obvious to see they had been a loving and close-knit family.

When Richard and Arlene finished and came back downstairs, we put the luggage in the trunk and started to get into the car. However, before he did, Richard took one more look around. I think he was making mental notes about the place, so he wouldn't forget what it was like. When he finished this task, he joined us and we drove away.

Arlene chatted continually during the trip and talked mostly about Albert. She reminisced about things they had done together and what it was like before Richard came along. I think even Richard was amazed by some of the things she told us, along with being astounded by how well she was doing. Surprisingly, this continued throughout the ride.

We stopped at the Spences first, to drop Arlene off. She seemed extremely happy to see John and Margaret again, so after chatting with them for a few minutes, Richard and I excused ourselves and left. Although we didn't have very far to go, Richard had some things he wanted to tell me.

"Thanks for bailing me out with Mom," he began. "I didn't know how I was going to tell her about Dad."

"I figured that might be the case," I confessed, "so I was kind of prepared for her." Richard was still looking down in the mouth, so I tried to see what was up.

"Is there something else bothering you?" I asked.

"It's just hard seeing her like she is today. It's the way she used to be, before she got sick," he admitted. "The problem is, I know a few minutes from now she probably won't remember what happened and may not even recognize any of us, including me."

"I understand and can empathize with you," I explained. "This has to be very tough on you." He merely nodded in response.

"Uncle Pop, can you do me one more favor?" he asked, while looking a little sheepish.

"Sure, my boy. Anything," I replied. "What do you want me to do for you?"

"Would you start calling me Little Ricky again?" He was studying me now, because I failed to respond right away. I guess he felt this meant he needed to clarify his request some more.

"But I just want you to call me Little Ricky," he added. "I think it will be less confusing if I stick with Richard for everyone else. Besides, I think it would be kind of strange for the others to be calling me Little Ricky, because I'm bigger than some of them. I do like hearing you call me that though."

How could I not agree? He was so honest and adorable in the way he broached his request that I could never say no. I agreed it was what I'd do and Little Ricky looked extremely pleased I had consented.

"I'll feel better doing it this way," he confessed. "Besides, I think if you called me Richard it would remind me too much about my parents and I'm not sure I could handle that right now."

"Sure, champ, if that's what you want," I confirmed. "I'll tell the boys too, so they'll know it's what you want as well."

"Thanks, Uncle Pop," he gushed, "or should I just start calling you Pop now?"

"That's up to you, Little Ricky," I informed him. "Whichever you feel most comfortable with."

"Okay. Let me think about that for a while," he replied. I nodded my agreement and we got out of the car and went to get his things out of the trunk.

"Come on. Let's go see the crew and we'll find you a place to sleep tonight," I added, as I pulled his suitcase out.

"Do you think I can stay with Ricky tonight?" Little Ricky asked, hopefully.

"We'll ask him, but I'm pretty sure that won't be a problem," I replied. "I know you two bonded when you first met and I'm sure he'd love having you with him."

"Thanks, Pop. I love you." Hearing what he said, I concluded he'd made up his mind about what he was going to call me.

"I love you too, sport," I shot back and put my arm around his shoulders, as we made our way to the front door.

Chapter 33
Hope Amid the Grief

Ricky was thrilled that Little Ricky wanted to spend the night with him, but all the boys were happy to give Little Ricky some special attention and treated him with kid gloves. No matter how wild and rowdy the boys can sometimes get with each other, they are always the first ones there when one of them needs help or support. How could I not love the lot of them when they do things like this?

Even Peter went out of his way to accommodate Little Ricky, by letting him spend all his time with Ricky. He also offered Little Ricky his sincerest condolences. Little Ricky thanked him and I knew they would also eventually become close.

Nothing sexual went on between Ricky and Little Ricky that evening. All Ricky did was hold and comfort Little Ricky the entire night, to let Little Ricky know he was loved and accepted here. I did go in to check on our newest member several times, to make sure he was coping okay. He seemed to be doing just fine, snuggled up against his idol, and this eased my concerns tremendously. Seeing him like this just reassured me things would work out fine for him, now that he'd be staying with us.

The next day we had some details to take care of, beginning with Jake and I calling into work and taking a few days off. The boys were still sleeping or just beginning to stir to life, as Jake and I sat around discussing how we might handle the situation with the farm.
"I think Little Ricky wants to keep it," I told Jake, "so I don't think selling it would be an option."

"Josh, how could he possibly manage to run the farm alone?" Jake wondered. "It took all Albert and he had, even with our help, to keep it going."

"I'm not sure, but I will consider all viable options," I replied.

"Like finding someone else to run it for you?" Jake asked, thinking that might be the best way to go.

"Yes, we could get someone else to operate it for Little Ricky," I agreed. "Maybe one of the neighbors would be willing, but I'm not sure if they'd have the time to assume that much responsibility." We both sat there contemplating how we might get this to work.

"You said Little Ricky just wants to keep the farm, right?" Jake wondered. "By the way, is it okay for me to call him that too?"

"Yes. Little Ricky said it would be better if you and I called him that, but not the boys," I confirmed. "As far as the farm goes, he says it has too many memories to let it go to someone else and he still wants to go out and work there once in a while. He enjoyed his life on the farm, no matter how hard it seemed."

"I have an idea then," Jake offered, while appearing as if he was almost hesitant to volunteer his suggestion, "but I'm not sure what you or Little Ricky might think of it."

"Well, go ahead an spill it," I told him. "I think we're both open to nearly any suggestion that would allow the farm to operate and stay in the family."

"Okay, then. Here it goes," Jake said, as he took a deep breath. "What if you have the Castaway Foundation buy the farm and then hire a couple to operate it. They could run a home for children who need a safe place and would enjoy living and working on the farm. That way, Little Ricky can still go out and work there when he wants to and it wouldn't be turned over to strangers, since we'd still indirectly control its operation. It would also help other needy children and put them in a safe environment, like it did for Little Ricky." I thought about his suggestions for a few seconds, before I responded.

"Jake, I think that's an absolutely brilliant idea," I explained. "A group farm-home that would meet all the requirements we'd set and provide a multitude of benefits. I think that is positively inspired. I'll talk it over with Little Ricky, but I think you've just found the answer to his problem."

Jake seemed pleased that I was so upbeat and accepting of his proposal, but I was truly impressed by the simple genius of his suggestion. I wasn't merely being nice or stroking his ego, and I sincerely meant what I told him. This put us both in a better mood and now I could talk this suggestion over with Little Ricky, before the calling hours began.

Little Ricky was equally impressed with the suggestion and told me to go ahead and do it. I informed him I'd have the farm appraised and the Foundation would purchase it at a fair price and then I'd put the money in a trust for him, like I had done for all the other boys. He asked if he could help hire the couple that would run the farm and I told him he could. Suddenly, he wasn't worried about losing everything and was beginning to feel a little better about the tragedy that had befallen him. However, I was afraid the harsh realities of his father's death would come crashing down upon him again, when we attended the calling hours in another hour.

We all got dressed and were ready to go to the funeral home, but we weren't all going together. I was taking Little Ricky with me, and we were going to stop and pick up Arlene on the way. I wanted them to have a few minutes alone with Albert, before everyone else began to show up. Jake and Frankie would drive the rest of the family down in a half hour or so, when they would join up with us.

Arlene wanted to know where we were going, so I told her we were going to see Albert. This seemed to confuse her and was the first indication this wasn't going to be one of her better days.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

"Arlene, don't you remember what I told you about Albert yesterday?" I asked, hoping this might trigger a recollection. Arlene looked befuddled and didn't respond, so I broke the news to her again.

"Arlene, Albert had a heart attack and passed away yesterday," I stated, succinctly and as mildly as I could, "so we're going to the funeral parlor to see him."

She still didn't respond or acknowledge my comments, and I noticed Little Ricky rolling his eyes. He was well aware that none of this was getting through to her, but even though she didn't comprehend the situation, she still went with us. I think she was merely looking forward to getting out of the house and going for a ride.

When we arrived at the funeral home, Little Ricky and I stood on opposite sides and guided her inside. Eventually, we worked our way in, until we were standing in front of the casket.

"What's Albert doing sleeping in the middle of the day?" she asked, to no one in particular. "Albert, get up," she told his corpse, thinking he was merely taking a nap.

"Arlene, he's not going to get up," I told her. "He's not with us any longer. That's just his body."

"Nonsense," she told me. "Albert, get up and get in your work clothes. I'm sure you have chores that still need to be done."

I looked over at Little Ricky to see how he was handling this and realized her outburst was tearing him up inside. He had a pained expression on his face and was nearly ready to break down and start crying again, so I moved over and stepped between Arlene and him. As I did, I put my arm around Little Ricky's shoulders and pulled him against my body. I was also holding firmly onto Arlene's arm as I did this, so she wouldn't move forward and try to force Albert out of the casket.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded, but I didn't believe his response.

"I knew this was going to be hard enough, even if your mother understood what was going on," I confessed, "but I can see how difficult this is making it for you. As soon as the others arrive, I'll have someone else watch your mother, so I can stay with you. Please, Little Ricky, just let it out of your system now, while we're alone. It will make it a little easier on you later."

I guess my words did the trick and Little Ricky began to let himself express the grief he had been holding inside. He sobbed into my chest, which caused Arlene to look at him.

"What's wrong with Richard?" she asked.

"He's just sad because his father died," I whispered to her softly.

"Poor dear," she stated. "When did that happen and how? Did I know his father?"

I knew I didn't have time to go into this with her, because Little Ricky was the one who needed my assistance at the moment.

"Yes, you met him," I explained, "but I guess you have forgotten." That seemed to suffice and she left the subject alone again.

Ricky continued to cry and let his pain go. Once his tears began to subside, he walked closer to the casket, so he could reach out and touched his father's hands. He stood maintaining contact with Albert, while he gazed at his father's face. He was silently saying good-bye.

After a few minutes of doing this, he bent forward and kissed his father on the cheek. When he began to pull away, I heard him whisper, "I love you, Dad, and I'll miss you."

He then turned toward me and buried his face into my chest again. He was weeping and his body was trembling. No, this was not weeping – it was gut-wrenching sobs. I just held him and encouraged him to let it all out.

Arlene stood quietly as this happened. It was almost as if she wasn't there or even aware of anything going on around her. We had been standing like this for a few minutes when Jake entered. He asked if he could do anything to help or if he should allow the others to enter yet.

"Yes, you may let the others in," I answered, "but after that, I'd appreciate it if you would look after Arlene, so I can spend some time with Little Ricky." Jake nodded and then went to tell the others they could come in. Then he came back and took charge of Arlene, while I took Little Ricky to a small sitting room, which was located in another section of the funeral home.

As we went in, I sat in a chair and pulled Little Ricky onto my lap. He leaned his body against mine and settled in. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"Sometimes it helps to get things out in the open," I advised him. "Talking about it can help to ease some of the pain." He studied my face for a few seconds, before he responded.

"I know he's gone and there's nothing I can do to change that," he admitted, "but I still feel sad. I'll probably never get over missing him, but I know the hurt will start to go away a little at a time. I'm okay, Pop, especially knowing you're here for me now and I have lots of brothers who love me too. They proved that yesterday, especially Ricky. He was so nice to me last night and that helped a lot."

"I'm glad to hear that, my boy, and you're right – we do love you. I know I'll never replace your dad, but I'll do the best I can to help you from this point on. I am as proud of you as he was and you mean as much to me as any of the others, but we'll both have to adjust and make things work the best way we can." I could see more tears streaming down his cheeks, so I reached up and wiped them away. This brought a little grin to his face.

"Those aren't tears for my father this time," he explained. "Those tears are because you made me happy again. I love you, Pop."

After saying this, Little Ricky kissed me on the cheek and nuzzled his head against my neck, with his arms wrapped around my neck and shoulders. I'm not sure how long we sat like this, but when he was ready, he let me know.

"I think I'd like to go back in and spend some more time with dad, if you don't mind," he announced.

"Not at all, my boy." I assured him. "In fact, I was about to suggest that."

Little Ricky got off my lap and pulled me to my feet. He walked beside me as we reentered the area where the casket was on display. Many people had arrived while we were gone and the room was now quite full. Jake was still standing with Arlene, but John and Margaret Spence were with her too. They were valiantly attempting to explain the situation to her and trying to make her understand.

Several of Albert and Arlene's neighbors greeted us as we entered and offered their condolences to Little Ricky. In their own way, each of them told him what a great man his father was. Little Ricky thanked them and explained that his father admired and respected them too. Many of the neighbors offered to help with the farm, if Little Ricky felt he needed a hand to keep it going. He thanked them for their offers and then explained he'd let them know what was happening. He informed them it was still too early for him to be sure what he was going to do, but thanked them profusely for their kind offers.

Nearly to a person, they each said they understood and they'd do what was needed to keep the farm going until he made his final decision. One of the farmers even went as far as to offer him a different outlook.

"Richard, it's going to be hard for you to keep that farm going," he began. "I know, because I'm about ready to give up on my own. It's just not enough to sustain my family any longer. I'd offer to buy your farm and put it with my own, because then maybe I could keep afloat, but both our farms are just too small to be self-sustaining any longer. The thing is, I don't have the money or the credit to be able to do that, so I guess I shouldn't even think about it." As we listened to what he had to say, it gave me another idea.

"Would you be willing to sell your farm?" I asked.

"Yes, that's what I was planning to do anyways," he responded.

"Well, in that case, I might have a proposal which might help both of you," I told him. "Richard and I have talked about having the Foundation my family runs buy his farm. I was going to turn it into a group home for needy children and hire a couple to supervise the operation. The children would help out on the farm, along with Richard and my family, which would provide the necessary labor to keep it going. Would you allow the Foundation to buy your farm too?" His face seemed to brighten.

"Yes, I see no reason why I would refuse, if the price is right," he told me, honestly, but I also knew he wasn't the type to take advantage of the situation.

"That's great, but I have another proposal for you too," I offered. Now, he looked confused. However, I was pleased to note that he continued to listen.

"I'd need Richard's approval before this could be finalized," I commented, and immediately noted the puzzled look on Little Ricky's face.

"I'd like you to think about this, so you don't need to answer now," I advised him. "I'm hoping you, your wife and family might be willing to stay on and run the combined farm for us and take care of the children we accept to live there?" This got the husband and wife looking at each other, as they thought about my proposal.

"And Richard, would that meet with your approval too?" I asked, to include him. Little Ricky didn't hesitate and gave me an emphatic 'yes,' and this caused the farmer to turned back toward me.

"Well, I'll have to talk this over with the boss first," he said, looking over at his wife again. She didn't have an opportunity to respond, because Arlene had approached and was talking to her. In fact, Arlene actually seemed to be recognizing her neighbors at the moment.

"My wife sure does love kids," the farmer admitted, seeing she was preoccupied. "We raised six of our own, but I'd need to find out what she thinks about this before I commit to anything. Actually, I think she'll love the idea, because we could stay on the farm and she would have more children to pamper." He grinned at us and then went over to chat with Arlene, before talking this over with his wife.

"This is going to work out awesome," Little Ricky told me, after his neighbor walked away. He was having difficulty hiding his excitement. "They are great people and the two farms together would end the problem we had with making the farm big enough to survive."

"I'm glad you approve, but now we just have to wait to see what they decide," I advised him. Little Ricky shook his head and we went back to speaking with the others.

The rest of the calling hour went quickly and I noticed the farmer and his wife talking excitedly on several occasions. Finally, he approached me, just as we were getting ready to leave.

"We'd like to know more details about this proposal and find out what your Foundation is willing to pay for our farm," he stated. "You probably could say we're interested in what you suggested, if we like the details you present to us."

"I'm glad to hear that," I told him, "and we will get in touch with you, once we are past the grieving stage." He seemed to be fine with that, so we parted company.

Little Ricky now had another reason to be hopeful the farm would be saved and he could still be a part of what happened there. He was quite antsy for the rest of that session and was clinging eagerly to me, as we got ready to leave.

We went home in between calling hours, but Arlene went with the Spences. They said they'd see how she was doing before the evening calling hours, and if she was able to comprehend what was happening, they'd bring her back. Otherwise, they'd keep her home and try again tomorrow. Little Ricky and I both thanked them for their help and then they left, but not before Little Ricky gave his mother a big hug and kiss.

We had a bite to eat before we came back for the evening calling hours, which went very much the same as the earlier session, but with different people stopping by. Everyone offered their sympathy and talked to Little Ricky about his father. They also asked about his mother, so he explained she wasn't there this time, because she wasn't feeling well. That seemed to suffice and no one asked for more details. This was probably because they were all well aware of the problems Arlene was having.

When the evening session was over, we went home and Little Ricky told me that Ricky had asked if he wanted to stay with him again. I checked to see if that's what he wanted to do and he said it was, so I let him go off with my blond prankster/angel, knowing Ricky wouldn't be pulling any stunts tonight. I also told Little Ricky he knew where to find me, if he needed anything. He thanked me and said he did, and then I sent them off, hoping he'd have another good night.

After they left, I brought Jake up to speed about the neighbor and his wife. Jake seemed excited things were coming together so quickly. I told him nothing was definite yet, but it was encouraging, and he said he understood. At least now we had more hope we could pull this off. I think each of us had doubted how much success we'd have making this happen when he first brought it up.

Chapter 34
Saying Good-bye to a Father and Friend

It was a long night for me. Not only was I busy checking in on Little Ricky and worrying about how he and Arlene were holding up, but I was also excited about the possibility of opening a group home on the Becker's farm. I couldn't get over how appropriate it would be to honor Albert by using his homestead to care for other children who needed help, the same way he had done for Richard. I also had an idea and wanted to run it by Little Ricky first thing in the morning. I'm going to tell him I think we should call the place the 'Albert and Arlene Becker Farm-Home for Children.'

Even though I still had this wonderful plan whirling around in my mind, I finally fell asleep, but the idea stayed with me the whole time. When I awoke the next morning, I couldn't wait until I saw Little Ricky, so I could mention my suggestion to him.

Little Ricky and Ricky slept in late that morning, but when they came downstairs, I fixed their breakfast and then sat with them while they ate. After giving him a chance to wake up completely and fill his stomach at least partially, I decided to broach the subject.

"Little Ricky, what do you think about calling the farm the 'Albert and Arlene Becker Farm-Home for Children?'" He thought about this briefly before he answered me, but I knew his response before he spoke. It was evident when a grin started to spread across his face.

"I think that would be perfect," he told me. "It would honor both my mom AND dad, so I hope she'll be able to understand that. I'll tell her about it next time she's acting normal again."

"Yes, I hope she understands it too," I added, knowing that Arlene's approval would mean as much to Little Ricky as naming the farm in his parents honor. "I just hope it doesn't bother her that we're using her name too, since she's still alive."

Ricky thought about that for minute, so he'd have an answer for her if that question came up. After he had some time to contemplate it further, we went on to discuss other things. That's when I brought up arranging for him to have his own bedroom. He would need one, since he was now going to be living with us.

"I think it's time we talk about getting you settled in," I told him. "We do have one open room, since Kevin moved in with Vinnie. In fact, it was Ricky's bedroom when he first moved in with me."

"Really? Neat," Little Ricky beamed. "Is it close to Ricky's room now?" I could see the look of anticipation of his face.

"Yes. Actually, it's just across the hall from Ricky's room." He continued to smile.

"The one in the corner?" he wondered. "The one with the old cars on the wallpaper?"

"Yep, that'd be the one," I replied, with my best farmer's drawl

"Ricky showed me that room and told me it was his once," Little Ricky admitted. "He also told me it would probably be the room you'd give me, unless you moved people around."

"He did, did he?" I made a face. "Must be that little brat thinks he's running the place now," I teased, while trying to sound angry.

"Oh, no, he wasn't telling me that's where I WOULD be, just that you MIGHT give me that room," he responded. He looked worried he'd gotten his idol on my 'shit list,' so I decided it would be best to let him off the hook. I began to chuckle.

"I know and I was just pulling your leg," I confessed. "You didn't get your older bro into trouble, so you can relax." I could actually see his body slump in relief.

"Dang, you had me scared that I got you mad at Ricky," he told me.

"I know and that's what I wanted you to think," I explained, "but then I realized I was being cruel, so I stopped teasing you." He looked at me funny and then punched me in the arm, playfully.

"That was mean of you," he admonished me. "I always thought you were nice."

"You mean the boys haven't told you about my mean streak?" I asked, while flashing him my best non-believing look. Little Ricky studied me for a few seconds and then began to scold me.

"You're teasing me again, aren't you?" he asked, rhetorically, with his hands on his hips. "You'd better cut it out or I won't like you any more." I feigned a pout, which caused him to giggle.

"Oh, I could never stop liking you, Pop," he explained, in an effort to reassure me. "You're stuck with me now. I'm like a cheap pair of sunglasses, so you'll never be able to get rid of me." He gave me a wicked grin and I admired his analogy.

"If you say so, and it's a good thing too," I shot back, "because I'd never want to get rid of you anyway."

After spending some more time with my newest son, I took him back to the farmhouse. I did this so he could pick up more of his belongings and select a few more things for his mother, so they could both settle in to their new homes. We dropped his mother's things off at the Spences and stayed for a while, so Ricky could spend some time with her. Unfortunately, it wasn't one of her better days and she didn't even recognize him. This pained Little Ricky considerably, but he still spent quite a bit of time with her. We discussed this situation on the way home.

"I hope you don't let it get to you," I began, as a way to keep him from personalizing the pain. "She still loves you when she's herself."

"I know it's not because she doesn't love me any more or anything like that," he confirmed. "It's just her sickness that makes her forget, but it still kinda hurts."

"I can understand how you feel and I'm glad you realize it's her illness that's causing the problems, and not anything you've done." He nodded in agreement, so I reached over and squeezed his leg again. I did this to let him know everything was all right, at least as much as we could control.

After dinner, we went to the final calling hours. The funeral service would be held the following day, after lunch. Things went pretty much as they had before, but the Spences didn't bring Arlene this time, because she was continuing to have another bad day. Little Ricky spent more time with my other boys today, although he did go up to say another moving good-bye to his father before we went home.

When we got back, Little Ricky seemed to need my attention. I could tell this because he would either sit right beside me or on my lap throughout the rest of the evening, so I tried my best to comfort him and give him all my love. When I felt it was time for him to go to bed, he balked at leaving, so I asked him what was wrong.

"I'm just missing my father really badly tonight," he advised me. "Would you stay with me a little longer?" He now looked at me expectantly and hoped I would say yes.

"Sure, how long would you like?" I asked, in return.

"All night, if it's all right with you?" he suggested, meekly. He was holding his breath again, which let me know he was afraid I was going to say no.

"I really need you right now," he explained, "so I know I'm not all alone. I know it sounds kinda childish, but I need you to hold me and I'm afraid to have you let go. I have a feeling if you do, you're gonna be gone too."

"I won't leave you, but I do understand how you're feeling," I replied, as soothingly as possible. "Let me go clear things with Jake, so he knows what's going on, and then it's just you and me, all night long."

"You mean that?" Little Ricky asked. He looked pleased, yet confused. I wondered if he thought I might be teasing him again.

"Yes, I mean it," I confirmed. "I'm just going to let Jake know what's going on. It will only take a few minutes. Okay?"

"Yes," he said eagerly, "just don't be gone too long."

"I won't," I assured him.

I walked out, found Jake and explained the situation to him. "He really needs me," I continued, "even more than Ted did when he was here."

"I understand," Jake said, reassuringly. "Besides, I wanted to spend a little more time with Shannon too, before he went back to college. I'll spend the night with him and you can stay with Little Ricky in our room."

"Thanks for being so wonderful, Jake. I really do love you," I told him, before adding, "I hope you know that." When he nodded, I gave him a hug and a very passionate kiss to show him how much he meant to me.

"Hey, let's not start that," he protested, jokingly, "or I might not want to leave." I hugged him again.

As Jake was grabbing a few things from our room, I went back to tell Little Ricky. "Okay, everything's all set," I announced, which caused him to jump up and start dancing around, joyfully.

"Are you going to stay in my new room with me?" he asked.

"No," I shot back, rather quickly. This caused him to flash me a worried look.

"That room has bunk beds," I pointed out, "so I don't think it will do. You can sleep in my room with me."

"But what about Pop Jake?" I hadn't ever heard him refer to Jake that way before, but it kind of pleased me to know he was accepting Jake the same way he'd accepted me.

"He's going to spend the night with his son, Shannon." I advised him. "He wanted to spend more time alone with him too, before Shannon went back to college."

"Really? I didn't force him out?" Little Ricky asked, while looking somewhat relieved that he hadn't caused a problem.

"No, he would have probably done this anyway," I confirmed. "If not today, then maybe tomorrow. All you did is make him pick tonight, instead of some other day." I saw him relax.

"I don't want to piss him off or cause problems for you and him," he admitted. Little Ricky studied me for a few seconds, as he attempted to be certain I was being honest with him. Once he was sure I was, he posed his next question.

"Do you want to stay in here with me longer or would you rather go to bed?" he asked.

"That's up to you, my boy," I replied. "Which would you rather do?" He thought about this for a second.

"Can we find a movie to watch on TV?" he wondered. "I'll sit on your lap and watch it with you, if that's okay with you?" Now, he made a funny face, halfway between a questioning look and a grin.

"That sounds fine to me," I told him, so he searched for a movie, while I went to get us some refreshments. When I returned, I got comfy in my chair and then he came over and sat across my lap and made himself comfortable too.

"This is nice," he purred, as we began to concentrate on the movie.

He actually fell asleep before the movie ended, but I watched the rest of it while holding him. I was enjoying the fact he felt so at ease with me and felt bad when the movie was over, because it meant I had to wake him up. There was no way I could lift him and get out of my recliner at the same time. Groggily, he followed me to the bedroom, but I sent him off to the bathroom first, to brush his teeth and pee. Soon, he came stumbling back, though still half asleep. I knew I would never replace Albert as his father, but at least I could lessen his loss a tiny bit.

"Do you mind if I sleep in my undies," he asked, when he returned, "or do you want me to go get a pair of pajamas?"

"Whichever you prefer," I answered.

"Then I'll just sleep in my undies, so I don't have to run upstairs," he announced.

"That's fine," I told him, and he quickly stripped down and crawled into bed. I went to brush my teeth and urinate next, and then I came back in and crawled in beside him. I thought he was asleep, but as soon as I got in position, he rolled over against me, threw his arm across my chest, and whispered a very weak, "Night, Pop. I love you."

"Sweet dreams, my boy, and I love you too," I whispered back. Then I turned slightly, so I could kiss him on the forehead. He was soon breathing gently and evenly, which let me know he was in a deep slumber. I nestled against him and quickly dosed off myself.

When I awoke the next morning, I realized the funeral was at hand and we had much to do to get ready. I talked to Little Ricky when he awoke, to make sure he was mentally and emotionally prepared for what was to come. You see, there is a harsh and drastic realization of the finality of death, when you see the coffin, just before it is lowered into the ground. It is then that you begin to comprehend you're never going to see that person's earthly form again. I wanted to make sure this didn't come as a big surprise to Little Ricky, at the last minute. It might devastate him. I thought it best to discuss this with him first.

"I hope you understand they'll be putting your father's body in the ground today," I informed him. "I know you've always realized that was coming, but sometimes the meaning of it doesn't sink in until you actually see it happen."

"I know," he admitted, somewhat reluctantly. "I've been thinking about that off and on. I wish I could think of something special to do, maybe like put something in with him, so he always has it."

"That's not a bad idea," I said, encouragingly. "Do you have any idea what you might choose?"

"I was thinking of a picture," he told me, "but I really wanted to do something a lot more special than that." He looked upset that he couldn't think of anything he felt was appropriate.

"Why don't you write a letter to him on my computer," I suggested. "Then you can keep a copy for yourself and put another copy, and maybe even a picture, in with him."

"Yeah, that would work fine," he beamed. "I think I'm going to do that."

I led him to my computer and he spent the next thirty minutes composing his masterpiece. He rewrote several sections of it until he was satisfied he had gotten down exactly what he wanted to say. I didn't bother to try to see what he wrote or ask him if I could look it over. It was a private correspondence between him and his father. Although I was very curious, I did not push the issue and figured maybe some day he'd find the desire or need to share it with me, but I doubted that time would be now. Therefore, I gave him his space and respected his privacy.

I had him put his father's copy in an envelope, along with the picture he wanted Albert to have too, and I told him he could place it in the casket when he said his final good-bye or wait until everyone had left. However, he had to do it before the casket was sealed. He said he preferred to do it when no one else was around, which I told him would be fine. I said I would arrange it with the minister and funeral director, once the ceremony was concluded at the funeral home and before the casket was sealed and moved to the church.

There was a short viewing before the service at the funeral home, but then the casket would be moved to the church. Arlene was there with the Spences, but I heard her keep asking questions about where they were and why they were there. That meant she had no idea what was going on again.

Once the viewing was over, a short service was conducted. Once that ended, everyone began to leave and move to the church. I stayed behind with Little Ricky and walked him up to the casket to say his final farewell. He pulled the envelope from his pocket and carefully slipped it under his father's hands. Once it was in place, Little Ricky stroked his dad's cheek, as the tears streamed down his face. I stood behind him, with my hands on his shoulders, just to let him know I was there for support. After a few hesitant seconds, he bent forward and gave his father a peck on the lips, said, "I love you, Dad. Bye."

I let him decide when he was ready to leave and then we turned to go. We waited outside, as the combination of neighbors and friends who had been asked to be pallbearers took up their role and carried the casket outside. Soon, it was loaded into the hearse and we were on our way to the church.

The service there was quite nice. Dion had volunteered to sing the hymns again, but this time the adult choir backed him up. It was still beautiful and well received.

The minister also did a very nice job with the eulogy and used many of the things we had told him about Albert. It was very moving and quite personalized, so many of those attending found it very appropriate and well done. Once this service was concluded, the casket was moved to the hearse again, for its final journey to the cemetery.

It was a long drive, because the cemetery was near the farm, so it took us a while to get there at the speed the funeral procession was allowed to travel. Little Ricky rode between Jake and I, which kind of upset my Ricky. He wanted to sit beside his new brother, but had to accept Little Ricky's decision to sit between us. Ricky rode across from us in the limo, just so he could be close.

When we arrived at the cemetery, we walked over to the open grave, as the casket was put into its proper place on the frame. Then, we stood and listened as the minister gave the graveside service. When it ended, I took Little Ricky back to the car and sat with him.

I normally like to stay and watch the grave closed up, but I thought it would be way too much for Little Ricky to handle. Instead, we drove off before it was done. I'd bring him back to his father's grave on the weekend, so he could check everything out, but for now we were heading home. We still had to continue helping Little Ricky put his new life together.

Chapter 35
Solutions

Little Ricky did have a few rough days after the funeral, but eventually he began to cope with his grief and loss. He also went to visit his mother every day, no matter whether it was a good or bad day for her, and I got him transferred to the local school district, so he could start attending classes.

The transition wasn't totally without its problems though. Little Ricky had some bad dreams during those first few nights and also thought his classes were much harder than at his old school, but we knew he'd soon adjust. Little Ricky was a survivor, as I had told him before, and after all he'd been through in the past, he would learn to cope with these changes too.

I also called the Lawrences, Nick's parents, to tell them about Albert. They apologized profusely about not calling me when they got back and expressed their regrets about Albert. They explained things were very hectic at their jobs when they returned and they got wrapped up in their problems. Unfortunately, these situations made them forget they were supposed to call me and let me know how their trip went. Belatedly, they filled me in on their visit with Nick and told me much of the same information as Nick had put in his email. Once they felt they'd caught me up with their exploits, they once again expressed their regrets about Albert and we said good-bye.

It was also time to take the college boys back to school and there were a few emotional partings before we could get away. Even though not all of them were starting class the following week, we didn't want to have to make this trip twice, so they all went with us. The others could do what they wanted for the week, but they would have to do it on or around campus.

Danny and Brandon had a rough time saying good-bye, seeing they were at different colleges and wouldn't be seeing each other again until school was out in May. They had enjoyed their time together over the holidays, especially their intimate sessions, since they would miss those activities until they were reunited again.

Little Ricky was also having a tough time letting Ricky go, since he'd begun to look to him as a protector and confidant. They spent a great deal of time together, while Ricky had been home, so I knew this would be hard for each of them. With that in mind, Ricky talked to Peter and got him to agree to watch out for Little Ricky for him and Peter happily agreed.

Jake was also having a tough time dealing with Shannon leaving again. Even though he'd be dropping Shannon off and would have a couple more days to spend with him, it still wasn't easy. I'm glad Jake had spent so many nights with Shannon over the past couple of weeks, while Ted and Little Ricky were with me.

Although those separations were rough, the most difficult parting was between Vinnie and Kevin. Vinnie was having trouble being separated from his lover again, but this was possibly because he was still a little fearful of losing Kevin to a college man. Realizing this, Kevin had given Vinnie a key to his dorm room as a Christmas present, attached to a lovely silver chain. Kevin did this so Vinnie could visit any time and prove he had no secrets, but it still wasn't enough to remove all of Vinnie's doubts.

Vinnie tended to be very possessive at times, although not in a bad or mean way. It's just that he liked to share all of his time with his lover and the rest of the world didn't matter when they were together. That pair had spent more time alone and away from the rest of the family while Kevin was home, yet Vinnie was still having a tough time dealing with the fact that it would be four and a half months before Kevin would return. Unless Kevin decided to spend spring break at home, which was highly unlikely, this was the last time they'd be together until school was out for the summer. This was more than Vinnie was willing, or able, to bear.

Vinnie asked to ride with us when we dropped the boys off, and seeing we were using two vehicles again and splitting the route we'd have to take, I saw no reason to deny him this courtesy. However, I did warn him that he'd have to leave when I said so, with no whining or any emotional outbursts. He readily agreed and sat next to Kevin during the entire trip back.

When we dropped Kevin off, Kev took Vinnie and showed him his dorm room. He also introduced him to his roommate, who had arrived before him. Then, I gave them a half hour alone, before I announced we had to leave. That seemed to help, but Vinnie was still a little reluctant to go, so I slowly guided him into the van.

After we dropped the last of our college boys off, Vinnie and I had a nice long discussion about his feelings. I hoped getting it out in the open would help get him through the long dry spell until Kevin returned. By the time we got home, he seemed less emotional and maybe even a bit hopeful. It was possible that meeting Kevin's roommate had helped, but whatever had caused this change made things a little easier for all of us.

That weekend I also got a phone call from Ted's Aunt Jane. "Josh, I'm so sorry for not calling sooner, but I had lots to do here with my brother and sister-in-law," she explained.

"No need to apologize," I told her. "How's Ted doing?"

"Josh, he's a different kid now. You're a miracle worker," she gushed. "He talked about you and the boys the whole way home and he's not so embarrassed about what he is now."

"He shouldn't be, because he's a wonderful, loving young man," I replied. "And I wasn't the only one who was involved in helping him to figure this out, because he spent time with some of my boys too."

"So I heard," she giggled, like a schoolgirl telling secrets about her girlfriends and their beaus. "I heard about Sammy and Graham. He told me he got to try some things with them." She released another schoolgirl giggle, after admitting this to me.

"I hope that wasn't a problem?" I asked, somewhat concerned.

"Oh, no," she assured me. "He needed that, to see if he was really gay. Now that he knows he is, he's better able to accept it and himself."

"I'm glad you see it that way," I told her.

"I do, and I can also see he loves you more than my dumb ass brother," she added, with a bitter tinge, "but we're making progress on that front as well. I've finally convinced him Teddy had no choice in whom he is and he didn't choose to be this way. After showing him some articles that backed me up, he's finally beginning to accept Teddy's sexuality. He's still not happy about it, but he's no longer making derogatory remarks to Teddy. I even saw them having a civil conversation the other day."

"I'm really glad to hear that," I admitted. "Ted really loves his father, but he was just hurt by his perceived rejection."

"That's what I told my brother, point blank," Jane confirmed. "I hit him squarely between the eyes with a lot of shit, to wake him up, and I think it worked." I hadn't realized how feisty Jane was. I'd seen her loving and nurturing side, but now I saw she wasn't the type to take crap from anyone, not even her brother.

"Well, I'm glad things have improved," I admitted. "I had the feeling Ted might consider running away, at one point."

"He won't run away, but I'm sure he'll want to come back for more visits with you," she informed me. "That is, if you don't mind."

"Why would I mind?" I asked. "Ted is a wonderful young man and we all got along very well with him."

"Josh, both of us really appreciate what you did for him," she added. "He told me you even spent time alone with him and did things for him his father had never done. You helped heal some of Teddy's longstanding wounds and got him moving on with his life. I truly believe he wouldn't be able to bury the hatchet with his father right now, if he still felt those holes in his soul, but you helped fill them in for him. I think that, more than anything, convinced Ted the problem wasn't with himself, but with his father. Once he figured that out, he could accept everything and cope with it."

"Jane, I'm really happy for them and that's what I hoped would happen," I explained. "Even though Ted had asked about coming here to live, I knew it would be better for him if he could work things out with his father first. If that hadn't happen, I might have considered taking him in, but only if that was what was best for him. I was hoping, if it came to that, things could be worked out amicably to get him here."

"You've done more than either of us could have hoped for," she added. "You also encouraged me, whether you knew it or not, and I finally did my job straightening out my brother. I let him know, in no uncertain terms, what an idiot he's been. Teddy and I both thank you, from the bottoms of our hearts."

"You're more than welcome," I told her, "but like I said before, I really didn't do that much. I just spent a few wonderful days with a truly remarkable young man."

"And I think his father is beginning to see Teddy that way too," Jane informed me, "although you certainly did more than just that."

The phone call ended shortly thereafter, and I told Jake and the boys that things seemed to be going better for Ted at home. Everyone seemed happy to hear it, except for maybe Sammy and Graham. Although they wanted him to work out his problems with his family, I think they both harbored hopes he would be coming back to live with us, so they might have a chance to get closer to him. Being slightly disappointed that wasn't going to happen now, I wondered how they'd greet our guest on his next visit.

I didn't have time to dwell on that concern, however, as I had many other things to deal with as well. As executor of Albert's will, I had the lawyer arrange for me to become legal guardian of not only Richard, but Arlene too, as most times she wouldn't be considered legally competent to make the necessary decisions. We cleaned up all the issues in the will and then moved on to the next item on the agenda: the farm.

The plan for the farm was coming together nicely too. The Becker's neighbor, whom I'd talked to at the funeral parlor, had agreed to take the job of running the farm and supervising a home for children. I had both farms appraised and then showed him and Little Ricky their offers. Both seemed pleased with the amounts, even though I knew Little Ricky would have been happy with almost any sum. However, since I was also his guardian, I had to make sure it was a fair price for the property.

Little Ricky did tell me in private that he thought he should take less, seeing he would still be able to work on the farm and be around the kids who were placed there. I eventually convinced him that wasn't necessary and he should accept it all, to ensure his future. Besides working on the farm, I also knew Little Ricky would make sure the supervisors made the farm-home a loving and safe place for all the children, not just a self-sustaining farm.

The final documents for the sale of both farms were signed within a couple of weeks, seeing the Foundation was paying cash for the properties. The money for the Beckers' farm was immediately set up in a trust fund for Little Ricky, which would be handled entirely by Mark, with my approval and oversight. I had decided on letting Mark handle this, because I was so pleased with the way he'd been handling both the Foundation's and my own money. I doubted I'd ever disagree with his suggestions, at least not in the near future.

I also heard from Nick again. He told me a lot of things, including what plans he had, before returning home.

Hey Pop,

How's everything there? Glad to hear Danny, Brandon, Pat and Shannon were found not guilty. I knew they'd never do anything like that. And thanks for the Christmas gifts and my extra supplies again. hehehe I'm sure they'll come in handy.

Mom and Dad told me about Mr. Becker. Would you please tell Little Ricky I'm soooo sorry. I'm happy to hear he'll be coming to live there and I can't wait to get back to see him. Until I do, please let him know how bad I feel about his dad.

I'm going to stay with my host family until near the end of February and then I'm going to do some traveling. I'm going to start with another trip to Rio de Janeiro for Carnival. That's a really big thing here. I hear it's like Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but even bigger. It's a four-day party and I hear Rio is like THE place to go for carnival. It starts on a Saturday and ends on Fat Tuesday, and sounds really wild. I can't wait to take part in it. I bet there will be lots of cute boys hanging around. That's for sure.

I'm going to spend a couple of weeks there, checking out the beaches, and then I've got a couple more trips planned, before I go back to my host family. I'm taking a trip up the Amazon and I'm going to take one other trip to see Iguacu Falls, which is on the border between Argentina, Paraguay and Brazil. My host brothers suggested those trips, so I hope they're right about them, but from what they told me, they do sound neat.

After my trips, I'm coming back here for a while, so I can say good-bye to everyone. It's going to be really hard to say good-bye to my host brothers, cuz I know I probably won't ever see them again. It's not like when I left you guys, because I knew I'd be coming back. I feel really sad about this, but I hope we'll all have some memories we'll never forget. I told them we'd keep in touch, both online and by phone, and maybe they'll be able to come visit some time or I'll be able to come back here.

Well, I'd better be going. Love you all and can't wait to get back and see you again. I have so much to tell everyone and I sure do miss my brothers. Please give Shannon a hug and kiss for me. I really miss him the most and I hope we can still be close when I get back.

All my love, Nick

I thought that was an interesting email. It wasn't so much what he said, but what he implied. He is excited Little Ricky is coming to live with us, probably so he can have sex with him. I'm pretty sure he's had sex with more than his share of boys in Brazil and this might continue during his trips. Then, before he leaves, he'll go back to have a final fling with his host brothers, as sort of a parting gift. Surprisingly, he still sent Shannon his love and hopes they can still be close. Is that chutzpah, or what?

For those of you who don't know what the Yiddish word chutzpah means, I was told it would describe a man who killed his parents and then begged the court for leniency, because he was an orphan. I don't think what Nick just did is too far out of line with that description, only that his chutzpah was in a sexual context.

During this transitional period, Frank was taking Little Ricky out to the farm every day to do the chores. Some of the other boys would join them from time to time, to help out. Before Ricky went back to college, he would always accompany Little Ricky, but now the other boys split the duties. They rotated who would be going out to the farm to help out and I was amazed they were able to keep things going for most of that time alone. Sure, the neighbor we had hired was helping out too, but it was primarily Little Ricky's private mission to keep the farm running.

The boys were determined to help him with his dream and worked really hard to make it happen. Soon, responsibility for the farm would be lifted from Little Ricky's shoulders, even though he still wanted to be connected with it. The farm was still a very special place to him, where he had spent some of the best times of his life. However, from this point on, he would be able to work on the farm at his leisure, without having all the worries and responsibilities he'd had to bear in the past.

The end of January also produced another surprise, when law enforcement finally caught the guy who actually assaulted David Hubbard. Locating him happened totally by accident and it all started when the cops busted a guy for drugs and searched his car. That's when they found a bloodied bat in his trunk. After running DNA tests on the blood, it proved an undeniable match to that of David Hubbard and then the rest of the story came out.

As we learned later, Hubbard had sold this guy some drugs, except what he sold him wasn't what it was supposed to be. Hubbard had ripped him off by substituting another substance and claiming it was the drugs the guy wanted. When the sucker discovered the fraud, he was furious, not only that he had been cheated, but also because he lost a sizable amount of cash in the process. It was then that he began planning his revenge. When he heard the rumor about Hubbard throwing a party, he hid out in the woods and kept a close eye on Hubbard, while waiting for his chance to make his move.

When his opportunity arose, he snuck up behind Hubbard and beat him senseless with a baseball bat. He also took all the cash Hubbard had on him at the time. The cash was never reported as stolen, because then Hubbard would have had to account for how he came up with such a large amount of greenbacks. It was that omission that misled the investigators and sent them chasing ghosts.

Even Hubbard's friend, Tim Wood, didn't know about the drugs or money either and really did think my boys had assaulted his friend. He later admitted he had never seen the car or them and had made that story up, after Hubbard told him it was the Curries who had beat him. Unfortunately, he didn't realize he had just admitted to perjury by saying this, so he ended up being sentenced to six months in jail for that crime.

All in all, everything worked out and the right person was convicted. Although Hubbard couldn't be busted on a drug charge or fraud, since there was only the assailant's account of what happened, Hubbard had been dealt a different form punishment – a lifetime in a wheelchair.

Chapter 36
Another Problem

As January drew to an end and February loomed on the horizon, the boys made it known they wanted to hold another big Valentine's Day bash at home. They also determined this year it would be a mixed affair, with the straight/bi boys having the opportunity to invite their girlfriends, while the gay/bi boys would be able to include their boyfriends.

There wouldn't be many boys at home this time, since a large number would still be at college, so I wasn't sure what was going to actually happen. The boys who wanted to invite girlfriends were told they had to explain the uniqueness of this celebration to their dates first, to make sure they'd be comfortable with the boys who were dating each other, as well as with Jake and I. They were also told that if the girls couldn't handle this, then it would be best if they made other plans for the evening. We didn't want anyone to attend if they might cause an uproar, either at our house or somewhere else later. Once everyone understood the conditions and agreed to abide by them, I let them proceed with their plans. However, I did make another suggestion first.

I recommended the boys who 'volunteered' to wait on tables, take care of the drinks, etc., shouldn't be dressed as provocatively as they had been in the past. I was afraid the overt sexuality they displayed would be totally inappropriate, under the circumstances. I suggested the female guests might find this offensive, but some of the boys disagreed with my logic. They thought their dates would think it was sexy to see these other boys dressed as they had been in the past and would think we had done it for them. Considering their viewpoint, I told them to discuss it with their dates and get their opinion and I'd hold off on making a final decision until we had more input into the matter.

I also asked who might be willing to do the waiting and other duties this year, as I wasn't sure if any of them would want to be tied up with those responsibilities. Each of them was now old enough to join in the fun and might opt to do that, so I felt the point might be moot anyway. It turned out that no one volunteered immediately, but some did suggest they might be willing to do it, if they couldn't come up with a date. After talking it over with Jake, he and I decided we could do most of the work this year and still mange to find time to dance and unwind with the boys later on in the evening. With the major issues decided, we left the details up to our sons.

Now, the boys began discussing which songs they wanted to play and whom they were going to invite. Cole was mustering up the courage to ask a girl in his class, whom he's had a crush on for ages. Graham surprised all of us when he asked Little Ricky if he'd be his date. After thinking it over, Little Ricky accepted, so Sammy asked if he could call and invite Ted to be his partner for the evening.

After thinking this over, I told Sammy it would be fine, but I'd call Ted's Aunt Jane first, to give her a heads up before he asked Ted. She might be able to smooth the way for him and get her brother to agree to let him attend, so Sammy was ecstatic over the prospect.

Of course Trey and Dion would be together, and Mark said he was going to bring his girlfriend to join in. She already knew about the boys and was cool with it, so I immediately agreed. When I told him I looked forward to seeing her again, Mark seemed quite pleased.

Frankie had decided against inviting anyone this year, because he'd be going away for training in a little over a month after our Valentine's Day bash. He would also be gone for quite awhile, so for that reason, he didn't want to form any attachments that might be difficult to deal with, when it was time to leave. With that in mind, Frankie volunteered to help out and do some of the work, to free the rest of us up to enjoy ourselves.

When Mark's mother found out he was going to bring his date to our house for the evening, she offered to help too, so she could see her son and his girlfriend. Mark had no problem with this, and neither did I, so that split up the duties even further and would give Jake and I more time for each other.

Andrew surprised me by saying he had a boy in his class he wanted to ask, someone he was close to and whom he didn't think would mind such an invitation. When he told me the boy's name, I agreed the boy's parents would probably be cool with it too. I knew them all from when the boy attended my school and the entire family was very liberal and accepting. Therefore, I thought it might just work out for Andrew.

The only one who wasn't excited about this shindig was Vinnie and I understood why. Kevin wouldn't be home, so he'd be alone and it wouldn't be much fun for him. Once things started to come together, Vinnie began to pester me about an idea he had.

"Pop, would you let me go to Kevin's college and surprise him for Valentine's Day," he began. "It's on Saturday this year, so I could leave Friday, after school, and then spend Friday night and Saturday with him. Then, I could come home early on Sunday and still have time to do whatever assignments I have. What do you say? Will you let me do this?"

I thought about it briefly and saw nothing wrong with what he was proposing. The only concern I had was with him driving in city traffic, but if he left after school, he'd arrive in the city after rush hour, so it shouldn't be so bad. There were also no other impediments to his proposal, since he had his license back, we had a new insurance policy, which covered him too, and I'd also replaced the 4Runner, after we got the insurance settlement. It turned out that another witness had come forward later and helped prove the other drive had been at fault. This meant the offending driver's insurance company had to fork out to cover our loss.

I also concluded Kevin and Vinnie would probably be able to get around without using the vehicle much, while Vinnie was there. Either that or Kevin could drive, seeing he was more experienced with city traffic. By returning home on Sunday, Vinnie should have clear sailing then too. With all that in mind, I decided to give him my okay, but I had one more question to ask him first.

"Are you going to let Kevin know you're coming?" I asked.

"No. I want this to be a surprise," he replied. "I'm going to try to pick out a special present for him, along with half a dozen roses, because I want to see the expression on his face when I just turn up. It will prove to him how much I really love and miss him."

"You'll be taking a risk he won't already have made other plans before you get there," I warned him.

"If he does, I'm sure he'll change them, once he sees me," Vinnie replied, confidently, but I wasn't convinced.

"I think you're taking a big chance," I reiterated. "He may be out with friends at a party or something when you arrive. I doubt he'll be on a date, but college guys do party on the weekend."

"I know, but he tells me he hardly ever does that," Vinnie stated. "In fact, he told me he'd stay in his dorm and call me both Friday and Saturday night, so neither of us would have to feel alone for Valentine's Day. It's our special day and he promised."

"Okay, if you're sure, I'll give you my permission to go." Vinnie was delighted, and even though his legs weren't totally cooperative, he did a little dance for me on his crutches. After that, he got down on the floor, ditched his crutches and did an imitation of Tom Cruise in 'Risky Business'. He had me going, as he started shimmying across the floor and singing the opening refrain of 'Old Time Rock N Roll.' You know, the Bob Seger lyrics that go:

'Just take those old records off the shelf,
I sit and listen to them by myself,
Today's music ain't got the same soul,
I like that old time rock n roll.'

It was a stitch, as I watched him do this, and Vinnie soon attracted a crowd. Everyone was cheering for him, as he put on his little performance, and they offered him their congratulations, after his little exhibition was over. You might say he was a happy kid, but I think that would have been a gross understatement. He didn't do the whole song, because we all got the point quickly, but there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was excited about his planned pilgrimage to see his boyfriend.

Over the next few days, Mark's mother, Susan, worked with the boys on the menu and volunteered to do all the cooking for the event. It was immediately obvious this menu would be different from anything we had done in the past, since Susan was making most of the suggestions. By the time it was finalized, it appeared we would be having Duck L'Orange over a bed of rice, an asparagus soufflé, creamed potatoes and for dessert, small heart-shaped chiffon cheese cakes, with a choice of cherry, strawberry or blueberry toppings. I also learned Susan planned to surround the desserts with Hershey kisses, the ones specially wrapped in red foil. It sounded not only unique, but quite appealing too.

Since this was being taken care of for them, the boys kept busy with the other details. They went over their song selections again and the order they'd be played in. The boys wanted to start off slow and romantic, work up to a sort of frenzied pitch, and then taper off to slow and romantic again. They felt this would put their partners in the 'mood' by the time our little party ended. I warned them not to expect too much and to be careful otherwise, and they all said they knew I'd say that.

Frankie had decided he was going to make this appear to be a very formal event and had decided to dress like a waiter at an exclusive restaurant for the evening. He also planned the table layout, seating arrangements and all of the other trivial details on his own. Susan would also dress accordingly, as a cook, but she had also volunteered to take care of serving the drinks and making sure only the appropriate drinks were consumed.

Vinnie, on the other hand was planning his trip and trying to figure out a unique and memorable gift for Kevin. Vinnie also ordered the roses locally, so he wouldn't take the chance of not being able to find any when he got to Philadelphia. He would take them in a cooler, to keep them fresh until he could give them to Kevin. Unfortunately, his dinner plans would have to be left up in the air, until after he arrived. He prayed he'd be able to get a last minute reservation at a fairly decent restaurant, so the night wouldn't disintegrate into a disaster.

Vinnie continued to think hard about a Valentine's Day gift for Kevin. He wanted it to be something that would be practical, yet reflect their love and devotion. After thinking about this long and hard, Vinnie decided to buy Kevin a silver ID bracelet, with their initials engraved in a crossing pattern. The initials KMC, for Kevin Michael Currie would go horizontally across the front, with the initials AMRS, for Alvin (Vinnie) Mitchell Rydell-Shay, going vertically across the first set. That way, the two sets of initials would share the M and form a cross.

A
KMC
R
S

When Vinnie told me about his idea, I let him know I thought it was perfect. If you remember, Vinnie had decided to keep his parents last name when he came to live with us. Then, when the Shays adopted him, he just hyphenated it, hence the additional initial.

I think Vinnie decided to do this, because he had a psychological block about having a relationship with a brother. Even though we had all tried to convince him there would be nothing wrong with it, since they weren't biologically related, he remained adamant on that point. He even went so far as to have the Shays adopt him instead of me, so it wouldn't happen. We all honored his request and happily went along when the Shay's offered him this alternative.

Now, as the big day approached, he was beside himself with excitement. He was looking forward to seeing the expression on Kevin's face when he gave his present to him and concluded Kevin would love it. I had to agree.

On Thursday night, before Valentine's Day, Vinnie packed his suitcase with everything he wanted to take with him. On Friday morning, he put the suitcase and a cooler in the 4Runner, before he went to school. He planned to leave directly after his last class, but would take time to pick up the roses before heading off to Philadelphia. He wanted to get to Temple University as quickly as he could.

Vinnie was extremely distracted and accomplished very little in any of his classes. It was a good thing he didn't have any quizzes or tests to contend with, because he might have failed. Fortunately, for him, the day ended and he ran all of his errands, before setting off on his long drive. Vinnie was on the road by 3:30, but still had a three to four hour trip ahead of him, depending on traffic.

When he finally approached the campus, Vinnie was almost beside himself with anticipation. He was consumed with imagining Kevin's reaction and the long wonderful night of lovemaking they were going to share. As soon as he parked the car, he hopped out, grabbed the jewelry case and put it in his shirt pocket. He held the roses in his left hand, pressed securely against his crutch handle, and began to motor off to Kevin's room. He remembered the way from when we dropped Kevin off after the holidays, and as he approached the door, his heart was pounding wildly.

Vinnie could hear music playing inside the room as he drew near. It appeared someone was listening to the type of songs his lover liked, so he was pretty sure Kevin was there. Carefully, he lifted the chain from around his neck, the one with Kevin's dorm key attached to it. Slowly, and as quietly as he could, he slid it into the lock. After pulling the bracelet from his pocket, he was now ready to open it and surprise his soul mate.

Slowly, he pushed the door back and scanned the area for Kevin's familiar face. That's when it happened and his plans began to fall apart. Vinnie spotted Kevin on the bed, sixty-nining with another boy.

Vinnie's heart sank to his toes and almost stopped beating. A lump formed in his throat and nearly choked off his air supply. His eyes were watering so badly that he could no longer see clearly and he was so angry that he felt he might be tempted to kill them both. Without realizing it, Vinnie dropped the jewelry case and roses from his hands, before he wheeled around. He had to escape this nightmare as quickly as he could. However, as he did so, one crutch hit the doorframe, which made a very audible clunking sound.

Hearing this, Kevin looked up and saw the open door. He also caught a very fleeting glimpse of Vinnie as he left. Kevin pulled off the other boy's penis, terrified by what he knew had just happened.

"Oh, my God!" he shouted, which confused his current partner.

"What's wrong?" his sexual cohort asked, as he also took his mouth off Kevin's organ.

"My boyfriend was just here and saw us!" Kevin exclaimed, as he jumped from the bed. He grabbed some clothes and quickly threw them on, and as soon as he was modestly covered and appeared decent, he ran after Vinnie. Kevin jumped over the clutter in the doorway and quickly reached the parking lot, only to see Vinnie driving away. Kevin chased after the 4Runner for a while and screamed for Vinnie to stop, but Vinnie never did. Finally, Kevin gave up and went back to his room.

When Kevin returned, he picked up the roses and the jewelry case and went inside. The first thing he noticed was the note on the flowers, which read: 'To Kevin, my love, my life and my soul. Please accept this, with my utmost devotion and love, on our very special day. I'm yours forever. Vinnie.'

Kevin felt even worse now, once he realized the amount of planning Vinnie had put into surprising him. Hesitantly, he opened the jewelry case and saw the bracelet inside. It only took a few seconds to realize Vinnie had their initials intertwined on this special gift. By this point, Kevin was sobbing hysterically, as the impact of what he had been caught doing and what followed sank in.

"What have I done?" he asked himself.

Kevin knew full well that his momentary lapse in judgment, which led him to give in to his sexual needs, might have cost him the person he truly loved. He'd have to call Vinnie, so he could explain and beg for his forgiveness. He did so immediately, but no one answered. He would try again, in a little while, and then again tomorrow, if he still hadn't gotten a response. However, he wasn't even sure Vinnie would talk to him or listen to what he had to say. He had to try to find a way to make it happen or he'd go home the following weekend, to see Vinnie in person.

While Kevin was trying to determine a course of action to work his way out of this mess, Vinnie was heading home. He heard his cell phone ring and figured it was Kevin, so he didn't answer it. It was way too early to discuss this and Vinnie had to think about what he might do next, before he took his call. Instead, he got on the Interstate and headed home.

The tears were streaming from Vinnie's eyes and making it very difficult for him to see, but that wasn't his only problem. The pain in his heart was also making it hard for him to concentrate on his driving, so he knew he couldn't continue on this way. Vinnie quickly looked for a rest area, where he could park and regain his composure. He figured once he calmed down, then he'd continue on home, but it might take a while before that could happen.

Several minutes later, Vinnie saw a sign telling him there was a rest area, a mile ahead. He slowed down and moved the car over, until he eventually got into the right-hand lane, so he could take the exit when he came to it. Once there, he found a place away from the other vehicles and parked. Now, he sat alone, weeping and thinking about how his whole world had just been shattered.

Early Saturday morning the phone rang, and seeing I was the only one up, I answered it.

"Hi, Dad. It's me Kev," the voice responded. "I'm sure you've heard all about last night and I'm really sorry, but I need to talk to Vinnie. Is he up?" To say the least, I was confused.

"Up? He's supposed to be with you," I replied.

"He didn't come home?" Kevin asked, sounding panicked.

"NO! What happened?" I followed.

"Uh, he came to my room and let himself in… and he kind of caught me and another guy sucking each other off," Kevin admitted. "He dropped his flowers and present for me and drove off. I just figured he was heading home."

"Oh, Kevin," I sighed. "How could you? But that's not important right now. Let's not panic. Maybe he slept in the 4Runner and will come home later. He might even come back to confront you. If he shows up here, I'll call you, but I want you to call me, if he comes back there or if you don't hear from him by noon. Either way. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dad, and I'm really sorry," Kevin responded. "I was just lonely and horny and, well, I let the little head do the thinking for me. Please tell Vinnie how badly I feel and that I really do love him. Tell him nothing like that will EVER happen again, if he'll forgive me. I promise." He was sobbing as he told me this.

"Kevin, we'll work on that later, but for now I need to know where Vinnie is," I advised him. "I can't concentrate on anything else! I'm sure he was just hurt and confused finding you like that, so I pray he just stayed up there somewhere. Let's just wait until he contacts one of us, before we try to mend fences."

"Okay, Dad, but I am really sorry," Kevin reiterated. "You can't believe how badly I feel about all of this."

"I know, but first things first," I suggested, quite strongly.

I hung up, but I was truly worried.

NEXT PART