Bill W

Castaway Hotel IV

Chapters 10-18

Chapter 10
Many Changes

My gay boys talked about their special Valentine's Day for many days afterward, explaining to their brothers who weren't there what a great time they had and how fantastic it was. The straight boys replied that they'd also had a wonderful evening, while hinting that some of them even got more than a card and a kiss. I did confront Dustin and Frankie about their exploits and successes that evening and both confessed they had made love to their girlfriends, but assured me they had been smart and used protection. That relieved some of my concerns, but I was worried what other problems might arise from those encounters.

The other boys also sensed a potential problem concerning what happened this evening, but not with anything having to do with their dates. Instead they worried about how Kevin was going to react, if he learned Dustin went all the way with his date, so they made certain not to say anything about this in front of Kevin. They feared learning that tidbit might set him off again, something none of them wanted to see happen. However, I didn't have the same misgivings. I suspected Kevin might actually have moved beyond such outbursts, especially since he and Nick were growing close and Nick had been part of the group that planned the special evening for all of them, but the rest of the family felt it was best to take the appropriate precautions, just in case he hadn't. Nick was intent about making sure Kevin felt better about himself and got over his feelings concerning Dustin, and I think he was succeeding, to some extent.

However, Valentine's Day wasn't the only celebration in February. Trey turned fifteen two days after Cupid's annual big day, so we held a party for him the following Sunday. Trey decided he only wanted family to attend, although I think he would have been happy with just Dion there for him. We did invite Aunt Sally, Aunt Mary and Uncle Steve as well, since they were each part of this collection of unique individuals we now considered family. Trey got some very nice presents and it was a somewhat subdued event, as far as our normal birthday celebrations go, but I understand he got his most prized present later that evening, when he and Dion were alone in their room. I knew how attached Trey had become to Dion and I prayed that Dion's being bi-sexual wouldn't cause problems for them later, as it had between Dustin and Kevin, but only time would tell.

Brent was continuing to blend in with the others and getting to know each of them better. Most of the time he would hang around with Cole and Graham, as they were a year older and a year younger than him, but of course that meant Ricky was generally close by too, but not so much now that he had a girlfriend. Brent once told me he felt awkward when he was with the guys who were already couples, because he didn't want any of them to think he was trying to interfere with their relationship or split anyone up. He did seem to like Kevin and Nick quite a bit, but he also liked Trey and Dion too, although he realized that pair seemed to prefer their time with each other and didn't always appreciate company. However, I also noticed that Brent had started to spend some time with Sammy, even though he'd been advised that Sammy wasn't allowed to participate in the sexual high jinks yet.

I even remember how much Brent wanted to get involved with the other boys when he first arrived, but outside of that brief encounter with Kevin and Nick shortly after he'd joined us, he had done nothing else. The other boys just assumed he wasn't ready yet, because he never mentioned he was interested, and didn't realize what the real problem was. Even though Brent had opened up to us shortly after we picked him up hitchhiking and had been an eager participant in our nightly nudie time, he was generally very shy and too timid to talk about what they were doing and hesitant to ask to be included. I think Brent realized that some of the boys were getting it on most nights, but was unable to find a way to ask anyone about how he could share in the fun.

I observed him at various times, especially when he would watch the other boys as they exchanged a kiss or a grope. Not only that, but during the evening, when the boys were all sitting around nude, Brent's six inch [15 cm] circumcised penis would pop up like a periscope, looking for a target to home in on. Finally, his initiation into the sex-capades came when Cole invited him to join Graham and him for the night, and Brent eagerly accepted. I noted the shit-eating grin he had on his face as he climbed up the stairs to their room, and I knew Brent's dream was about to come true.

The three boys got on the bed, with Brent strategically placed in the center, as I think the other two had talked about this beforehand. Before long, first one and then the other began to kiss Brent and then took turns playing with Brent's erogenous zones. Brent soon had his hands full too, with a stiff young cock in each one. He had a cut prick in his left hand and the uncut one in his right. Brent hadn't had any experience with uncircumcised boys before this, so the different things he could do with Graham's natural member fascinated him. They had been fondling each other for a while, before Brent decided he wanted to do more.

Slowly, he bent down and started licking the exterior of Graham's slender pole, pulling the foreskin back so he could lick the knob as well, and then he just plunged down and took the whole thing into his mouth. As he was beginning to suck on it and figure out what else he could do, Cole began to slurp and bob on Brent's erection, breaking his concentration from what he was doing to Graham. He had never enjoyed having a warm mouth around his penis, having only jacked a few other boys off at various times. He had talked one boy into letting him try to suck on his cock once, but that was only briefly and the other boy wouldn't reciprocate. Now here he was, sucking off one boy while the other was sucking him.

He couldn't believe how pleasurable it was as Cole's mouth slid up and down his shaft, with Cole's lips gently caressing the soft outer flesh of his firm young rod. As all of these strange and wonderful sensations flooded his body, he also began to feel that familiar sensation which preceded ejaculation. Even though he had experienced many orgasms before, the sensation of a mouth caressing his flesh, the tongue whipping around and probing the surface and the warmth and moisture from the fleshy cavern stimulating his organ was just so much more intense than when he used his hand or someone else had used their hand on his stiffy. These sensations were so incredibly powerful that he felt as if his brain would liquefy and shoot out through his dick, along with the semen. Fortunately, he maintained enough composure to be able to continue working on Graham and his actions were enough to cause Graham to release a small ripple of fluids into his mouth. Just as he was sucking the thin liquid down his throat, Brent's frame began to quiver and his whole body seemed to convulse, as he experienced the most wonderful orgasm of his young life.

As Brent lay on the bed panting and recuperating, the other two sucked on his nipples, rubbed his scrotum, and kissed him playfully about the face and neck. Slowly Brent's body began to calm down and he thanked both boys for the tremendous experience, but he wasn't done yet. He finally managed to inform Cole that he wanted to take him orally too, since Cole hadn't had a chance to get off yet. Cole wasn't about to argue with him, so he laid back and Brent crawled between his legs on all fours, slowly devouring his entire organ in his mouth.

As Brent's head began to bob up and down, Graham knelt beside him, licked his fingers and slowly worked one into Brent's rectum. This was another new experience for Brent and caused him to jerk his head away from Cole's erection, so he could see what was happening. However, he only got to do so briefly, because Cole's hands firmly guided Brent's head back where he wanted it and coaxed him to keep going, since he was beginning to enjoy the amateur's efforts.

During Graham's initial penetration of Brent's backside, Brent's anal ring tightened and attempted to force the intruder out, but gradually it relaxed and let the finger move about. Slowly, the digit slid in and out of his channel and Brent began to experience sensations he never imagined before. Getting into this new activity, Brent began thrusting his butt backward, as he tried to match Graham's inward penetration. At the same time, Graham reached his other hand between Brent's legs, so he could stroke his testicles and penis again, which was almost more than Brent could take.

As Brent become accustom to Graham's attention and began to enjoy all of the new sensations coursing through his frame, he somehow managed to keep focused on what he was doing to Cole too. Having learned from the other pair, Brent let his tongue dart all around Cole's mast, as his head moved up and down on Cole's firm pole. Brent also used his tongue to explore the tiny slit at the tip of Cole's dick, whenever he pulled his head up and reached the tip, which made Cole squirm beneath him. Before long, he felt Cole's woody expand in his mouth, just before it started spitting its creamy load into his throat. Brent never hesitated and eagerly swallowed the liquid when it entered his mouth, and he sucked harder and harder on Cole's cock, trying to drain it of everything it had to offer. Once Cole's nuts were empty, Brent reluctantly weaned himself from his oral fixation and the boys cuddled up against each other and went to sleep. Brent slept in between the pair and enjoyed one of the most restful nights he could ever remember.

The remainder of the month was busy for us as well. During the later part of February, Sally came to me with an idea for the Foundation. As a background for what she was proposing, she told me more details about the four-county group foster home and explained it was used primarily for older children and those with special needs. Although there were separate facilities for boys and girls, there were approximately four times more boys there at present. This was primarily for two reasons: first, older boys are harder to place, and second, the boys seemed to make up a larger portion of the special needs group. This made me wonder who it was that first claimed the male is the stronger of the species?

Sally then advised me that she wanted to make the first project of the charity to get as many of these children adopted as possible. This would take priority on her to-do list and she would start reviewing all of her files to see what couples had been considered basically qualified as adoptive parents, but had been removed from the list because of financial concerns. She would then review any new files she had and ask her counterparts in the other three counties to do the same. Once the list was compiled, she would contact all qualified couples to see if they were currently interested in adopting the type of child she was proposing. I told her I'd like to visit the group home with her, so I could meet the children too, and Sally told me she'd set it up for the first Saturday in March. I asked her if I could also bring the boys along, if they wanted to come, and she said that would be fine. Our visit was now carved in stone.

After talking to the boys, they each decided it might be interesting to visit the home too, just to see what it was like and to meet the children who lived there. We were surprised upon arrival, when we discovered how many children actually lived there. Believe it or not, my boys were actually a little shy at first, until the kids from the home began to draw them out and make them feel comfortable. Before long they were talking like old friends, finding out about each other's lives and answering questions about their own situations. The foster kids were amazed that all my boys had been adopted and I think they were also a little envious, but I felt their learning this fact also gave them a glimmer of hope that there was still a chance they too could get adopted. The kids were talking freely amongst themselves, but they also came over to chat with Sally and me, letting us get to know them as well. I think there was some extra motivation involved with this act, as some of them hoped I might also adopt them, possibly because they had heard Sally was there trying to arrange for other adoptions. They may have also thought their own potential adoption depended on impressing us, and God knows they tried. Actually, I was quite impressed with all of them.

Our second surprise came when we found out about some of the special needs these children had. First, some suffered from learning disorders, meaning they had difficulty dealing with academic subjects. Some had ADD (attention deficit disorder) or ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder), which meant they might seem inattentive, hyperactive or impulsive. Others suffered from dyslexia, which is another problem that interferes with learning. Dyslexic children are often bright, highly intelligent and articulate, but they see things differently than others. They often think in pictures and have trouble dealing with letters, numbers, symbols and the written word. They may see words, letters and numbers backward or in reverse order, which makes it more difficult, or might even prevent them, from learning to read or do well in math. Although these children often struggle in academic environments, they are often very creative and do very well in art, music, sports, mechanics, storytelling, business, building and engineering. Notable historic figures who had suffered from dyslexia include: Albert Einstein, Leonardo De Vinci, Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill and Woodrow Wilson. Although these people did succeed, they also had a difficult time as children, often being perceived as dull, stupid or inattentive.

There were also children with emotional/behavioral disorders, which meant they had trouble controlling themselves under various circumstances. They might be hyperactive or suffer from anxiety, depression or panic attacks. These were the children that couldn't seem to sit still, deal with other children or even adults, were withdrawn and antisocial or might even be aggressive and hostile. Psychologists and psychiatrists were currently treating some of these children, while others were under the care of medical doctors. Some were working through their problems by talking about them, while others were trying to control their conditions by taking strong medications.

Some of these children might also have speech and language disorders (such as stuttering or a speech impediment), problems with their gross motor skills (walking, running, kicking, etc.), their fine motor skills (manipulating things with their fingers, writing, etc.) or they could have physical handicaps (blindness, muteness or having a deformity, such as missing an appendage).

A child might also be autistic, which meant he/she was suffering from a brain disorder. This condition could affect their ability to communicate, form relationships or respond appropriately to their environment. Persons with autism might resort to repetitive behaviors, have limited interests, insist on things remaining constant and may flap their hands, spin themselves or objects, rock repetitively or be upset by minor changes around them.

Another condition that might be affecting some of these children could include Down's syndrome, or mongoloidism, which is a genetic disorder. These children were born with three copies, not two, of chromosome 21, and were usually characterized by distinctive facial features and suffering from mental retardation. This might have occurred merely because of the mother's advanced age at the time of conception or it could have resulted from a mother contracting a disease while she was pregnant.

Another group would be those children born with drug or alcohol addictions, due to their mother's continued use of these substances during pregnancy, or HIV positive children, who acquired the disease in the womb. As I learned about these groups, I thought about Cole and Graham and realized they fit into the first group and would spend their lives dealing with problems arising from their mother's alcoholism and how it affected her pregnancy and their early development. I had witnessed what it had done to each of them, so I could identify with this group more easily than some of the others.

Any child suffering from any of these maladies or who was past a certain age was less desirable for adoption and considered hard to place. A great majority of prospective adoptive parents wanted babies, infants or normal children who wouldn't be so demanding on them or force them to change their lifestyles drastically. Not only would parents have to deal with these specific problems, but it also meant there would also be an added financial burden placed on them. This included paying for the professionals to help the children, any drugs the child required to improve his/her condition or having to provide special accommodations for them at home or school. These were the types of problems the charity would be able to help them deal with now.

After spending a few hours visiting with the children and staff, we went back home, having learned a great deal in a short time. During our visit there, each of my boys had also seemed to make at least one special friend, sometimes more, so they now had someone in particular whom they wanted to help. It was very emotional just watching them all say good-bye, since neither group appeared to want this visit to end. On the ride home in the van, the boys were coming up with ideas about how to find homes for their new friends and making suggestions about how we might be able to speed up the process. Even though some of these ideas weren't exactly practical or feasible, others were quite good and worth looking into - possibly even pursuing. By the time we reached home, we had a whole new list of things to do for the charity.

We closed out the month of February by celebrating Nick's birthday, which was on the 28th. We held his party on the Saturday closest to it, so his parents could come and join us for the weekend. They arrived on Friday night and stayed until Sunday evening. Nick also invited a couple of friends he had made at school, so they could meet his entire family and be part of the fun. The boys all slept in the family room later that night, as was their custom when they had friends over.

During their stay, Nick and his parents spent time alone, but they also included Kevin on a few of their outings, since Nick had told them they were now roommates and a relationship was developing between them. I'm not sure how Nick's parents felt about that news, but they didn't show any outward signs of disapproval and graciously accepted Kevin as Nick's partner. Even though the Lawrences and I did have some private conversations after their outings, that subject was never discussed in detail.

What we did talk about was how well Nick was doing academically and how he seemed to look forward to spending time with them now. They were ecstatic that Nick didn't object to their going out alone at times, so they could do things as a family, and they told me they thought Kevin was a sweet young man, and handsome too. They admitted they could understand why Nick had been attracted to him, without commenting about how they felt about such a relationship. I wasn't about to push the matter, since it might take time for them to become comfortable with the idea of having a son-in-law, instead of a daughter-in-law, so I wanted to give them room to explore their feelings in private. With as much as they'd already changed, at least according to Nick, I felt they'd be able to work their way through this situation as well.

However, Kevin was dying for everyone to finally leave, so he could give his special present to Nick, but that would have to wait until the following evening. By then Nick's parents and friends would have returned to their own homes and it would just be family here. From what I understand, Kevin made it well worth the wait.

"Happy Birthday, lover," Kevin whispered in his ear, once he'd shut their bedroom door. "I felt we had to wait until everyone else was gone, so are you ready for my birthday present to you?" Nick pulled back slightly, grinned broadly and nodded his head.

"Tonight is just for you and you can do anything and everything you want," Kevin informed him. "I'll be like the genie in the bottle and will fulfill your every wish." Nick was so excited after hearing this that he began to tremble, visibly, as Kevin began to slowly remove his clothes. In between discarding the various garments, Kevin would pause and kiss Nick tenderly, which seemed to make him shudder even more.

"What would you like to do first?" Kevin asked, once he had Nick naked and was erotically removing his own attire.

"Uh… everything," Nick stammered, as his blood pressure soared and caused his dick to point directly at Kevin.

"Then lay back, lover," Kevin told him, "and let me take care of everything."

Having said that, Kevin guided Nick toward the bed, helped him lay down and then settled in next to him. He began kissing Nick's face, starting with his lover's forehead. He then kissed each of his eyelids and finally worked his way down to Nick's lips. After kissing each other sensuously, Kevin slid down to work on one of Nick's ears, erotically licking the outer rim and seductively thrusting his tongue into and around the fleshy appendage. Gradually, he worked his way even lower, until he reached Nick's neck. Kevin then kissed along the one side of Nick's neck, under his chin and around to the opposite surface, before working his way up and repeating his earlier performance on the other ear.

Nick was panting heavily and squirming about on the mattress as Kevin continued his ministrations, but Nick got a brief chance to regain his composure and catch his breath, when Kevin moved his attention from Nick's face and directed it toward Nick's chest. Sensuously, Kevin positioned his mouth over one of Nick's nipples and gently blew across its surface, before allowing his tongue to dart out and tease the tiny nub. Once that small piece of flesh was erect, Kevin sealed his mouth over the pinkish-brown region and began to suckle on it, like a young babe at its mother's breast. Nick was squirming ever more animatedly now, as Kevin actions were causing him to become even more aroused, when Kevin suddenly shifted his attention to his other nipple.

Once Kevin finished teasing and sucking on that area as well, he worked his way down the center of Nick's chest, drawing his tongue along the surface, occasionally nipping at the skin and gently pulling it with his teeth, until he reached Nick's navel. Eagerly, Kevin attacked that small indentation and let his oral muscle flick in, out and around the tiny crevice. After making Nick moan from this attention, he lowered his head even further, until he was ready to move his body and crawl between Nick's legs.

Once he finished repositioning himself, he began to lick on Nick's scrotum and moved the sensitive nuggets around with his tongue. Eventually, Kevin sucked first one, and then the other watery orb into his mouth, while using his tongue to slide it around with the confines of his warm, moist cavern.

Nick was straining to keep his rising tide of sexual excitement from peaking early, but this was nearly impossible as Kevin lowered his mouth over his turgid member, completely engulfing it. As Kevin began to bob his head up and down, he also let his tongue dart around the shaft. Nick was moaning and groaning so loudly now that those in the adjoining room could hear his audible signs of pleasure. Eventually, he could hold off no longer and bucked his hips upward, before his geyser of boy cream erupted into Kevin's greedy throat. Without hesitation, Kevin slurped down the sweet nectar, eagerly swallowing each drop, until Nick's release ended and his body slumped onto the mattress.

It took Nick several minutes to come down from that orgasmic high, but when he did, he thanked his partner and immediately swapped places, so he could return the favor. Once he had brought Kevin to the same sexual nirvana and powerful climax, he was surprised to discover that Kevin wasn't ready for this session to end. Once Kevin recuperated, he proceeded to get Nick aroused once more, and now that Nick was erect again, Kevin laid on his back, pulled his legs to his chest and whispered, "Get a condom and the lube and this is yours."

Nick rocketed off the bed, snatched up the required items and returned, eagerly preparing himself and his partner for what was to come. Once those formalities had been taken care of, he glided into place and slid his penis into Kevin's tunnel of love. As soon as he was fully seated, he enthusiastically began to slide in and nearly out of that hot chute, quickly climbing to his second powerful orgasm of the evening. After thrusting for many enjoyable minutes, Nick arched his back, drove his organ home and filled the condom with several blasts of his hot love juice. Once the final drops had oozed from the tiny slit, he collapsed on top of Kevin, who was busy showering his lover with kisses.

"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did," Kevin gasped, "and I hope you love me as much as I'm beginning to love you."

Nick merely grunted in reply, which was enough to satisfy Kevin, because he concluded Nick was too drained to speak. After a few more passionate moments, they ended their lovemaking session and both boys slipped out of their room to clean up, before returning to bed. They immediately snuggled together feeling loved and satisfied and then fell asleep.

As proof he had enjoyed his special final gift, Nick came down to breakfast Monday morning with a huge grin on his face and I think it stayed there for the entire week.

Chapter 11
Our Ride on Life's Roller Coaster

Not only was February a very busy month, but it was rapidly becoming apparent that March was going to be just as hectic, if not more so. Looking forward, I realized there were appointments to be made and kept, more birthdays to be celebrated and enjoyed, as well as new initiatives and plans to be developed for the Castaway Foundation. All of these would most likely prove to be rewarding, although the pace would be frantic, but I was still eagerly anticipating the next thirty-one days.

In addition to February and March being a very busy time for us, those months were also quite unusual too, at least as far as the weather was concerned. Up to this point, we had experienced a very mild winter, so my 'drivers' were beginning to actively pester me about scheduling them to take their road tests. After thinking about it for a while, I agreed they might be right and this would be a good time to get the matter taken care of. Therefore, I went to the DMV and set up their road tests for the second week of March, over three consecutive days. I felt it would be best to let each of them have their own day to focus on this big event, since that way I could work with each one individually the night before the test and let them have a lengthy final practice before their day of reckoning. Not only that, but I might also be called upon to be there for them, should any of them happen to fail. I felt they were all ready and would do well, but who knows what might happen if their nerves get the best of them.

I had scheduled them to take their tests by age, from the oldest to the youngest. This meant Dustin would go first, then Brandon and finally Danny. It was an agonizing couple of weeks for them, as they continued to practice with me, yet longed to get this over with so they could finally have their licenses. When that week finally arrived, those three were almost basket cases – very excited, yet nervous about doing well. None of them wanted to be the one to fail, especially if the other two passed and got their licenses. This would mean they would have to have one of the others drive them around for a while and they also assumed I would make them wait until Frankie and Kevin were ready to take their tests before I let them go for a second try. Despite their conjecture, I really hadn't thought that far ahead and took more of a 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it' attitude instead.

The weekend before the road tests, Brandon turned seventeen and we had a pretty big party for him. His parents flew out to join us and Brandon also invited a few of his school friends to attend as well. Although he decided he didn't want a sleepover, we still had a fairly elaborate party at the house, complete with cake, ice cream and presents. Although the O'Haras spent time alone with Brandon and Danny the night before, we let Brandon, Danny and Brandon's friends spend his birthday doing the things they wanted to do, some of which included only them. However, none of the other boys let that bother them, since they all realized that each of them needed their own space from time to time and even they sometimes wanted time to be alone with others outside of the family. After the party was over and his friends had gone home, Brandon spent the rest of the evening and part of the next day with his parents. He and Danny went out for lunch with them the next afternoon, before the O'Haras had to fly back to Texas.

After they returned from lunch, Pat and Brenda took time to thank me for allowing them the opportunities to spend time alone with Brandon and Danny, while apologizing for not doing more with the rest of us. I told them not to worry about it, since we all understood. I advised them they shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to enjoy some quality time with their son and his partner and I'd have felt disappointed if they hadn't. They thanked me again, before saying their good-byes to everyone and leaving for home.

The week of the road tests seemed to be upon us in no time and each boy handled his preparation for it differently. Being the oldest, Dustin was the first to take his test and was very relaxed and confident after his final practice session with me. The following afternoon, after he returned from his time with the examiner, he just smiled and announced he had passed.

When it was Brandon's turn, he was very nervous and hyperactive. The evening before the test, he was extremely jittery during his final practice with me, and once we returned to the house, he just couldn't seem to land in any one spot for longer than a few minutes. He was constantly moving around, bouncing from one room to another or going up and down the stairs, while moving from hanging with one brother to the next. Even though we all tried to calm him down, none of us seemed successful in our efforts – not even Danny. It was almost as if he felt he was competing with his lover, so he wouldn't let him do anything to break his concentration, which included sex. I'm not sure Brandon even slept that night and he appeared to be on a caffeine buzz or a sugar high when he came downstairs the next morning.

I rode with him as we drove down to the test location and it was very obvious how jittery he was. After we parked and the examiner came over and got in the car with him, Brandon grew pale, looking as if the blood had been drained from his body, and he was trembling slightly. Danny had ridden down with us, for moral support, but he and I joked that Brandon might just get so nervous that he'd barf on the examiner before they got back. Once the test was over, I think Brandon almost passed out when the examiner told him he had passed, but recommended he learn to relax more when he was behind the wheel.

This put Danny under even more pressure than the others. Not only was he the last of the trio to take the test, but the other two had already passed, so he couldn't – no, he wouldn't, be the only one to fail. When it came time for his final practice, he seemed a little nervous about getting behind the wheel, but not nearly as worked up as Brandon had been. I could tell he continued to put himself under more stress than necessary, while considering what it would be like if he was the only one to fail. It took me a few minutes to calm him down before we could even begin.

Before I let him start the car, I had a long talk with him about his driving skills and told him I had all the confidence in the world in his ability. He had done as well, or better, than the others during our practice sessions and I was certain he would do fine when he took his road test the following day. That seemed to make him feel better and he began to worry less about it. He even began to joke about his upcoming big moment. During our outing, he did very well, even better than I'd expected, so this seemed to boost his confidence as well.

I think he and Brandon had sex that evening, just to relax him more, and he didn't appear to have any concerns when he came down to breakfast the next morning. Brandon and I both rode down with him when it was time to leave, and before he left with his examiner, I wished him well and emphasized I was confident he'd do fine. Brandon quickly did the same, so Danny smiled at both of us, before pulling away.

Once he'd completed his exam, he pulled back into the parking space in front of where he had left us, put the Grand AM in park, shut off the engine and got out to wait with us, while his examiner tallied up his sheet. When the examiner approached Danny a couple of minutes later, the man merely smiled and told him he had passed. The look on Danny's face was priceless, now that he realized he had also been successful, and Brandon and I were quick to congratulate him. I now had three new drivers who were eager to share the transportation duties with me and act as chauffeurs for the others. This made me begin to wonder if these boys really understood what they had just gotten themselves into? If not, they would soon learn.

That same week, Sally finalized a list of potential adoptive parents and asked me to join her in going back to the group home to interview the children, one-on-one, to determine who would match up with whom. We were going to try to pair up the potential combinations by using our observations and background information on each, but then allow the various individuals to meet with each other, to see if it worked out as well in person, as it did on paper. This way we'd avoid wasting time with every set of parents meeting every child, especially when we knew there would be little, if any, chance of it working out.

Although my boys wanted to go to the home again, we explained they would only be in the way and slow the process down, because this was something we needed to do on our own. Reluctantly they gave in, although they did make a special pitch for each of the children they had bonded with on our previous visit. I also placated them by agreeing to take them to the home for a visit the following weekend, if they wished. They all did, so I also agreed I would also mention this to the children at the home, after our interviews were completed.

Sally and I conducted these interviews together and met with each child individually. During these sessions, we made notes about their special needs, as well as their likes, dislikes and what they felt would be an ideal situation for them. Our first job was to put each child at ease and get them to relax and be themselves. Once that had been accomplished, we discovered some very intriguing and wonderful things about each of them – information that would assist us in matching them up with the prospective parents.

Of course, Sally and I each had our favorites. Mine were two little fellows named Richard and Walter, while Sally seemed particularly drawn to a young lady named Alice and a couple of older children, named Rhonda and Billy. She and I agreed these might be the easiest of the children to place, so they would, therefore, head our adoption list. I knew some of the boys would be pleased by this decision, while others would be disappointed we hadn't selected their special friend(s) to be included in these first match-ups. Regardless, we had to do what we could, but we would try to get all of the children adopted eventually. All in all, it was a draining, but productive visit.

That same weekend we celebrated Graham's fourteenth birthday. Of course, he wanted a sleepover party and invited several of his friends from school, but failed to realize that Cole and Ricky had devised some special plans of their own for his party.

The celebration started out as usual, with the boys playing games outdoors during the day or doing whatever they wanted, and then we had a big dinner, followed an hour later by the cake, ice cream and the opening of presents. It wasn't until later, when the boys went into the family room to sack out for the night that the other two terrors put their plan into action.

Unbeknownst to the rest of us, Cole and Ricky had already completed their preparations and were anxiously waiting to set them into motion. Just after the lights went off in the family room, my terrors sneaked out of the house, but not before donning special Halloween masks. The boys had outfitted these masks with small laser pointers for eyes, which were located just above the slits the boys were able to look out of. I still don't know where they got the cassette tape they used, but the sounds that came out of their boom box made it seem as if some kind of spacecraft was landing in our yard. Once the noises from the tape had gotten everyone's attention, Cole and Ricky walked up to the picture window, so their red laser beams eyes could flash through the glass, like they were targeting each boy within, for who knows what purpose.

Needless to say, the following commotion and screams brought me running into the room, as the boys were shouting words of warning at each other, while some of them were asking questions about what was happening. It took me some time to calm them all down, and then Graham told his friends it was probably just some of his brothers playing a prank on them. Once they'd heard that, they began to settle down a bit. A minute or so later, Graham took a few of the other boys and slipped out of the room, sneaked through the house and exited out the backdoor. They circled around the house and silently crept up behind the aliens, before enthusiastically pouncing upon the unsuspecting pair. They managed to hold Cole and Ricky down until the others came out to join them, and then for the next several minutes, they tortured the pair who had tried to scare them. Eagerly they tickled or spanked each of the older boys, before giving each of them wedgies (pulling their underwear into the cracks of their ass) and Dutch rubs (where you rub your knuckles across the top of the head, causing a burning sensation from the friction). I think the pranksters got the worst of this deal, but I suspect all of the boys had a great time because of it.

The following weekend we celebrated Brent's first birthday with us – he would be turning fifteen. His birthday happened to coincide with St. Patrick's Day, which fell on a Saturday this year, so we used this fact to help make his day special. A couple of weeks in advance of his big day, I asked him if he'd like to invite any of his friends from school and he informed me there was just one boy he felt close to, but he would like to have him join us. I quickly told him to ask this young man if he wanted to come home with us on Friday and spend the night. The kid immediately agreed, so Brent and I picked him up at his house after school that day. As the boy got into the van, Brent immediately introduced us.

"Pop, this is Jimmy," Brent announced beaming. "And Jimmy, this is my pop. He's the greatest." Hearing him say that made me feel good and I'm sure it also impressed his friend. I had never met Jimmy before today, because he never attended my school. I discovered this was because his family had just moved into the area the previous summer, so he had begun his schooling at the high school, where he was a freshman, just like Brent. Maybe that's why they took to each other – you know, the new kids in town sort of thing.

The boys seemed to really get along well together and Brent eagerly introduced him to everyone else once we got home, just not all at once. Brent took his time, letting his friend get to know each of the others and I suspect Brent had forewarned him about how many there were, since Jimmy never made mention of this fact nor asked questions about it. Jimmy also spent the night in Brent's room and shared his bed. It didn't seem to be a problem and I was glad Brent had someone else he felt close to.

Brent and Jimmy spent the entire next day together too, doing things by themselves or getting involved in activities with the other boys, and each of them seemed to be having a great time. I later discovered Jimmy was an only child and seemed to like the idea of having so many others around, so I had a feeling we would be seeing much more of him in the future.

About an hour or so before dinnertime, Aunt Sally, Aunt Mary and Uncle Steve arrived for the birthday meal and party. I'd let Brent choose what he wanted to eat and followed his suggestion, so we sat down to a meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn and tossed salad. Everyone not only seemed to enjoy what we had, but also appeared to have his/her fill. Once we left the table, the adults moved into the living room to relax for a bit, while the boys did other things.

We waited about an hour after we finished eating before we cut Brent's birthday cake, which was done in white frosting with green lettering, because of St. Patrick's Day. We even had a couple of shamrocks and a leprechaun with his pot of gold adorning it. After we finished the cake and ice cream, we gave Brent his presents to open. He seemed to get a bit choked up as he unwrapped each one, which often made it difficult for him to thank the giver. I felt this was probably because it was his first birthday with us and he wasn't used to getting so much, so I didn't give it a second thought. Afterward the rest of us sat around and talked for a bit, while Brent and his friend went off to check out some of his presents more closely. A little later, he came back to thank everyone again and say good-bye to our guests before they left. After that, Brent and I took his friend home.

As we were driving back to our place, Brent turned and looked at me for a few seconds, before he spoke. "You know, I didn't expect to have as big a party as the others, cuz I'm not really your son yet," he announced.

"Sure you are, and you were the minute you came here to live with us," I countered. He didn't respond to that immediately, but I think I saw a tear glide down his cheek. "Brent," I told him, "it doesn't take a bunch of legal papers to make you part of our family. That only makes it official. You're as much a member of this family as any of the other boys and I don't want you to ever think you aren't."

"I guess I know that now, so thank you," he nearly whispered. "I think Jimmy was just as surprised as I was, and it made me feel really special that you went to all that trouble just for me. I really love being with you and I'm glad you picked me up that night I was hitchhiking. I really didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go, and who knows what would have happened to me if someone else had picked me up. I don't know if I've told you this before, but I love you and I love living with you and all my new brothers."

"And we love you too, just don't sell yourself short," I urged. "You are as much a member of this family as anyone else and you don't ever have to worry about that. I'm glad we picked you up too, because it almost didn't happen. I was talking to the boys and hadn't noticed you standing beside the road. In fact, it was Brandon who noticed you hitching and yelled for me to pull over."

"So that's why you took so long to stop," Brent mumbled to himself, before speaking a little louder to me. "I thought you weren't going to pick me up and then I saw you slam on the brakes and start backing up. I guess I'll have to thank Brandon after we get back home."

"Yes, you do that," I agreed.

Brent did thank Brandon when we went inside and I think he even spent the night with Danny and Brandon in their room. I think it even helped form a special bond between the three of them, but especially between Brent and Brandon, as Brent began to think of the taller blond as his personal savior. Brent would go out of his way to do special things for Brandon and I'm not sure if Brandon ever figured out exactly why. Brandon just seemed to write it off as an infatuation or maybe even a type of hero worship, but maybe someday I'll fill him in as to what it was all about.

On Sunday, I kept my promise and took all of the boys to visit the group foster home, so they could hook up with their new friends again. We went to church first and then out to brunch, before going home to change. Once everyone was in more comfortable clothes, I had them load into the van and drove out to the group home. Excitedly, they exited out of the vehicle and ran to find their special friends, but I'm not sure which group was happier about this reunion.

At various times the boys brought their new friends over to meet me, although I had already met most of them during my previous visits. I think my boys were hoping these introductions would help their friends get adopted sooner. Even though each of my sons had their favorites, they also went out of their way to make sure every child got a visit and was given some sort of special attention. However, they were eventually forced to give up on one little autistic boy, who felt threatened by them and didn't appreciate the change in his routine. I know my boys felt bad about this, but I tried to explain to them why he reacted as he did.

I did make special note of the children whom Sally and I had placed at the top of the adoption list and thought it was cute that Ricky had paired up with Richard from the home. I could tell from just watching them that Richard hero-worshipped my son and Ricky instantly acquired another shadow. It was almost humorous watching them move about, because it was similar to watching birds in flight. Nearly as soon as Ricky stopped, started or made a change in direction, Richard would quickly mimic his actions, without missing a step. His eyes were glued to Ricky and the look on his face was priceless and showed just how much he admired this older version of himself. I think Ricky was also eating up this attention too and was enjoying his time on the pedestal.

Before long, I noticed that various members of my family were setting up games, such as tag or kickball, and inviting the others to join. In a very short time, nearly everyone was participating in something and running around and having fun, as children should. The staff thanked us all when it was time for us to leave, telling us this visit had been terrific for these poor kids and they could tell the children sincerely enjoyed themselves. After I explained that my boys had enjoyed it just as much, they invited us to come back again, anytime we wished.

It was now the next to last week of March and I was busy working at school. I was in my office, putting the final touches on our proposed budget for the next school year, when my secretary came rushing in.

"Josh, there's been an accident at the high school," she informed me and I could read the panic on her face. "They said one of your boys has been injured and was being transported to the hospital. They didn't tell me which son it was, but they want you to meet them at the emergency room as soon as possible. They also told me to reassure you it isn't life threatening, but they do need you there to fill out the paperwork and support your son emotionally."

"Oh, God, I hope it isn't anything serious," I wailed, thinking they might be playing down the severity so I wouldn't get too upset. "Please tell all the necessary people that I'm gone and then you do whatever else it is you usually do in these situations. I'll try to call you from the hospital, if I learn anything before school is out for the day. While I'm at the hospital, you'll need to…" she cut me off.

"Josh, go be with your son. We can handle everything here," she assured me, while gently nudging me out the door.

"Thanks, and I know you can," I agreed. "It's just instinctive, especially with the adrenaline pumping like it is."

"I know and don't worry about things here," she once again confirmed. "Go take care of whichever wonderful son of yours needs you now. Everything here will be fine."

I quickly grabbed the van keys out of my desk and then bolted toward the door. As I went, I thought about the other boys and what they were going to do, but quickly realized one of my new drivers had the Suburban and he would be able to pick everyone else up and get them home. I was pretty sure all of those attending the high school had already been apprised of the accident, if not formally, at least via the rumor mill, and most likely knew more about what had happened, and to which brother, than I did. I just sped down one street to the next, not really recalling any of the details of the ride to the hospital. When I arrived, I parked the van in the lot for the emergency room and raced inside, where I was greeted by the high school assistant-principal.

"Josh, the doctors are examining him now, but you'll need to fill out the paperwork until they come for you," he explained.

"Just a second, Bob," I countered. "First tell me which son was injured, what is wrong with him and how it happened?"

"It's Patrick," he informed me, quite directly. "There was an accident in the chemistry lab and his face was splattered with chemicals and glass. The teacher flushed everything from his skin and eyeballs, as soon as he could get to him, and then the paramedics took over and transported him here. We're really not sure about how much or what kind of damage might have occurred though."

"Do you know what chemicals we're talking about or exactly what areas are affected?" I pressed, trying to get a more detailed explanation. "I know you mentioned his eyes, but was there extensive damaged done to them or anywhere else?"

"I don't know for sure, Josh," the assistant principal admitted. "I pieced together what information I could before I left the school, but I had to hurry, because I wanted to follow the ambulance here. I felt it best if someone from the school was with Pat, not only to keep him calm, but also so we could apprise you about the situation when you arrived."

"But the teacher didn't tell you anything else?" I shot back.

"Look, he was busy treating Patrick first and was then occupied with calming his class down and getting things back under control," he informed me. "Besides, I'm not sure if he knew much more than that either, as he was reacting to your injured son's pained cries and the hysterical screams of those around him. It was all pretty frantic at that point."

"I understand, Bob, and I'm sure you all did everything you could," I agreed. "When did this happen and how long has Pat been here?" Bob glanced quickly at his watch.

"I'd say it happened about thirty minutes ago and he's probably been in with the doctors for ten, maybe fifteen minutes now."

I absorbed all of the information he gave me, while my emotions were running wild, but he gently guided me over to one of the intake personnel, so they could have me fill out and sign the appropriate paperwork. I was almost done with this vast accumulation of red tape, when a nurse came out and paged me. I handed all the forms back through the window and informed the lady I would finish filling them out after I'd seen my son and talked to the doctors. She merely nodded and Bob and I were off.

Chapter 12
Learning To Cope

The nurse led us back to a small cubicle with the curtain drawn around it, but she quickly pulled back the cloth divider and allowed us to pass through. Bob and I both caught our breath when we saw Pat. His head wrapped in bandages from the nose up and the doctor was just finishing his handiwork as we entered.

"Which one of you is the boy's father?" he asked, looking up, so I signaled I was.

"How much damage was done, doctor?" I asked cautiously.

"It's hard to tell at this early stage," he informed me, without committing himself. "I suspect he will have some facial scarring and there might be some damage to his vision. He was lucky someone reacted as quickly as they did and used water to dilute or remove the excess acid. It could have been much worse, if that hadn't happened."

I wanted to ask more questions, but not with Pat sitting there listening to us. I did plan on talking to the doctor in greater detail later, once I was able to get him alone. He had basically told us as much as I wanted to know for now, so I asked Pat if he could tell us about the accident.

"I was in chemistry lab," Pat explained, "and the period was almost over. We were cleaning up and putting things away when it happened. I had just taken off my safety goggles and was storing them and some of the beakers we had used in the cabinets below the counter, while the group next to me tried to hurry and finish cleaning up. One of the guys went to set his bottle of sulfuric acid on the shelf above the worktable, but wasn't careful about what he was doing. He let go of the bottle before it was completely on the shelf, so it fell and smashed on the hard counter top. The acid and glass splattered and hit my face, just as I was beginning to stand up. I guess I must have screamed out in pain, because the teacher came running over to see what was going on. He quickly pulled me to the sink, flipped down the eyewash thing and made me stick my face into it. The water began to rinse the acid off, which made it so it didn't burn so badly. While he was doing that, he told one of the other students to go to the office and have someone call for an ambulance."

At this point, I just stood there stunned and unsure about what to do or say. After remaining like a statue for a few awkward moments, I bent down and kissed Pat's forehead, through the bandages, and whispered into his ear.

"You'll be fine, son, and we'll do whatever it takes to help you." I hoped that might comfort him and remind him about all the support he would have.

"I know," he responded, somewhat hoarsely, "but I'm still scared."

"I understand and I'm a little scared too," I explained, "but we must put our faith in God right now and let the man upstairs do the worrying and find the answers for us.

"You know, this is kind of ironic," Pat stated dryly. "When I first came to live with you, I was sort of blind and couldn't see the good in other people. I let what they looked like or who they liked cloud how I saw them, but then you made me see how wrong that was. It seems strange that now I can see others clearly again, I might really be blind and I don't know if I can handle that."

"Shush, baby," I urged him. "This is not the time for negative thoughts and it's too early to assume the worst. With God's help, we're going to get you through this crisis."

What I really wanted to do was discuss how we'd help him adjust to being blind, if that were the case, but I knew this was not the time or the place for such thoughts. Instead, I told Pat this. "We'll deal with things as they arise, consider our options as we are presented with them and then choose what we think is the best course of action. For now, we will go on the assumption that you will still be able to see and that very little will change."

Hearing this, Pat squeezed my hand with both of his, clutched it to his chest and placed it over his heart, before he informed me, "I'll try to as brave as you are."

If only he knew the truth! I was probably just as scared as he was about the outcome, but I also realized that if he knew it, he might not be as brave himself. I couldn't let that happen, so I tried to remain as calm as I could.

Looking back, I realized his simple comment probably took all the courage he could muster. His mind had to be running rampant over the various scenarios concerning the possibility he was going to be blind, so just being able to think logically and unemotionally was more than any of the rest of us might have been able to do.

Once I regained my wits, I asked the doctor when Pat would be able to be discharged and he told me he would probably allow Pat to go home shortly. Before doing that, however, the doctor wanted to go over the procedure for caring for his injuries until his next visit, as the bandages would have to be changed and the wounds cleaned, in order to lower the chance of infection setting in. He stated that once all of those things had been completed, he would then let me go out and pull the car up to the emergency entrance, where I would be able to pick up my son.

I left Bob to comfort Pat while I was gone, since I didn't think it would be wise to leave Pat alone just yet. Before I left, however, I let my son know I would be going off with the doctor so he could show me what I would need to do for him once he was discharged. Pat told me to go ahead and he'd be fine, so I left and followed Pat's physician to another area of the emergency wing. A few seconds later, we entered an adjacent room and the doctor began searching through some cabinets there. A short time later, he handed me some sample tubes of salve and quickly wrote out a couple of prescriptions.

The first prescription he handed me was for painkillers, to help control whatever discomfort Pat might still experience from the acid burns. Next, the physician gave me a prescription for the same ointment that was in the sample tubes, which I could have filled once they had been used up. He told me the gel would not only prevent infection, but would also help reduce the amount of scarring Pat would have to live with. After that, he showed me how to wrap Pat's head with bandages, to help protect the skin and give it time to heal, before finally giving me instructions about what Pat could or could not do and explaining how I should deal with Pat's future concerns. Once he finished all of this, I asked him what the chances were that Pat would be permanently blind.

"It is really hard to say at this point, since it was difficult for me to tell how much of the acid got into his eyes and how much of it had been stopped by his eyelids. I could see some damage was done to his cornea, but that is most likely correctable, at least according to the ophthalmologist we had look at him before I bandaged his eyes. I will have one of the intake clerks set up appointments for him, both at my office and with the ophthalmologist, so we can keep on top of things. I also removed a few glass splinters from his cheek and forehead, but fortunately didn't discover any glass fragments in his eyes."

He must have looked at me and noticed the concerned look on my face, so he tried to reassure me some more. "Don't worry, we'll let you know what his prognosis is as soon as we can. In the meantime, take your son home and treat him as normally as possible."

I thanked him again and then went out to find a phone, so I could call my secretary and let her know what was going on. I quickly told her what I knew, advised her I would be taking a few days off from work and explained I would keep her updated from time to time. She thanked me for calling, assured me that she'd take care of everything and then said good-bye. After I finished speaking to her, I went out to retrieve the van, so I could take Pat home.

I pulled up in front of the emergency entrance and put the van in park, before going to get Pat. When I returned to his treatment cubicle, he was still sitting on the examination table, so I helped get him down and into the wheelchair someone had left there, so we could leave. In order to do that, I had to explain everything to him as we went. I first told him how much of a drop there was before he'd reach the floor, exactly where the wheelchair was, once he was down, and what we were going to do next. After all of that had been accomplished, I wheeled him to the van.

Once we were beside the vehicle, I explained to him how to find the door handle to the passenger door, so he could open it for himself. I then told him how far away he was, when to step up and advised him if I noticed anything else amiss as he started to get in, such as if it looked as if he might bump his head or bang his knee. I didn't want him to start off feeling helpless or useless, if I pampered him and did everything for him, nor was I going to let him wallow in self-pity. He would still have to do most things for himself, because none of us would be around every time he needed something. Before we pulled away, I also made him buckle his seatbelt, since I didn't want anything else to happen to him during the ride home.

When we reached the house, I saw all of his brothers come running out to greet us, so I immediately jumped out of the driver's seat and waved them back, letting them know we'd meet and talk to them inside. While I was doing that, Pat undid his seatbelt, carefully slid his legs out the door and dropped to the ground, before shutting the door behind him. Once he had completed all of that, I had him grab my elbow and walk beside me, as I led him toward the house. I would warn him if there was uneven ground or when we came to a step up, and he did quite well for his first time.

The other boys didn't quite do as I asked and were still clustered outside the front door. As we approached, I saw many open mouths gawking at us, so I assumed it was due to the fact they hadn't noticed Pat's bandaged head before he got out of the van. I was sure they had all heard about his accident in the lab, but I guess they hadn't expected to see him bandaged this way or anticipated his injuries might be so severe. Before we got closer, I held up my left hand to stop their comments and then spoke to Pat, to let him know what was happening.

"Hey, Pat, all of your brothers have come outside to greet you," I explained. "It looks as if they are worried about you too."

Pat lifted his head up, so he faced in the direction he thought his brothers were, and spoke. "Hi bros and thanks for coming out to see me, but I'm okay. The doctor says I'll have to be bandaged like this for a few days, but don't worry, everything will be fine. This is just so I won't get an infection or anything."

The other boys looked at me, to see if what Pat was saying was true, so I merely nodded my head in agreement, figuring I'd give them more details later. As we went inside, I asked Pat what he would like to do until dinnertime and he responded that he'd like to listen to his music. I told him that would be fine and then led him into the living room, where I guided him to a chair. Once he was seated, I asked for a volunteer to run to Pat's room and get his personal CD player and a few of his CD's. Dustin took off to do this for me, and after he came back, I taught Pat how to change his CDs, without being able to rely on seeing what he was doing. I then made sure to point out how his CD's were arranged, which side was top or bottom and then let him practice changing them a couple of times, while I stayed there and watched. Before long he was content sitting by himself, listening to his music. I imagined he was also using this time to do some thinking about his situation and assessing what his life was going to be like from this day forward.

While Pat was listening to his music, I took the rest of the boys into the family room and filled them in concerning the information I had. After I finished, they eagerly told me what they had heard before they left school. It seems as though the rumor mill had been working overtime, passing around varying reports about what had happened to him. The boys had heard numerous stories, which included an accident in the lab, a fight in the lab, Pat falling down a flight of stairs and someone throwing a glass jar at him. I quickly corrected all of the misconceptions and answered each of the questions the boys asked. I explained how Pat would need their help and support, but emphasized I didn't want them doing everything for him. I told them Pat still needed to feel useful and I didn't want him treated like an invalid. They seemed to understand, so I left it at that.

When dinner was ready, I guided Pat out to the table and had him sit in the chair next to mine. I had given him one of our heavy-duty glasses, just in case he knocked it over it wouldn't break as easily, but I didn't want to make any drastic changes to his tableware and make him think he was different now. He was still our Pat, but he would need to learn to cope with whatever changes resulted from his injury.

Patiently, I explained to him where everything was, meaning his silverware, plate, napkin, salad and drink, and then I told him what I was putting on his plate and where it was located. I did this by getting him to think of his plate as being divided into quarters, but he would have to remember which items had been placed in each section. I then let him start trying to eat on his own, knowing it would be awkward for him to do so at first.

He did have some problems early and began to get frustrated, but I whispered a few encouraging words to him every now and then, so he kept going. He nearly knocked over his glass a couple of times, but only spilled some of its contents once. I wiped it up quickly and didn't make any comment about it to him, since I didn't want to make him feel badly. I think a couple of the boys were ready to say something about it, but a quick glance from me ended that thought on their part.

When dinner ended, the boys cleaned up while I took Pat into the other room to discuss a few things. First, I explained he would be staying home with me for a few days, until after he went to his next doctors' appointment, and then I asked him what he wanted to do about sleeping arrangements tonight, since I felt he should be the one to make that decision. After thinking about it for a few seconds, he asked if he could sleep with me for those few days. He said he knew he would need help going back and forth to the toilet during the night and maybe with other things, so he would feel better if I were there to assist him. Besides, he said he wasn't ready to tackle the stairs quite yet, especially all the way to the attic.

I agreed with his logic and told him it would be fine if he slept with me for the time being. I also informed him I'd be happy to do whatever I could to assist him, but I would expect him to help himself as much as possible. He said he understood and then thanked me for being here for him. He hugged me and put his head on my shoulder for a minute or so, and then pulled back slightly, so he could tell me everything was going to be fine. Here he was, the injured one, assuring me that things would be all right.

For the rest of the evening, the other boys helped to occupy Pat's attention, asking him questions about the accident and doing things with him. I think, up until the accident, no one ever gave much thought about how dependent they were on their vision, but now they were beginning to realize they couldn't even play cards or enjoy any of the other games with Pat, because he wouldn't be able to see or appreciate what was going on. This really stumped them for a while, until Ricky made a suggestion.

"You know, when I first came here, Dad used to read to me every night before I went to bed. It was great and I was wondering if maybe you'd like it if one of us read to you."

"That's right," Danny added. "When I first got here they were already into a book, so they caught me up on what I had missed, before going on with the story. Ricky and I used to look forward to that time every night. I think it's a great idea."

"Yeah," Pat answered, "it does sound interesting, but I don't know what story I'd want to hear."

"Trust me," Ricky explained, before he rushed off to find me, "I know the perfect one."

Excitedly, Ricky raced into my office and asked to borrow the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy, so I happily went and got all three books for him. Before long he was sitting with Pat and some of the others, reading to all of them about some hairy little creature called a Hobbit. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the story and I think Ricky was getting a kick out of being the one who was doing the reading this time around. They went on like this until it was nearly bedtime, and I don't know how many chapters they actually read, but they were all talking about the story when I came by to send them off to hit the showers. Pat stayed there with me, while his brothers climbed the stairs.

"Dad, how can I shower like this?" he wanted to know.

"Well, you won't be able to take a shower for a while, because you can't get those bandages wet. However, you can still take a bath, as long as you're careful. I'll draw the water in the tub downstairs and then I'll help you get started. Would that be all right with you?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but what about the boys who use the downstairs bathroom?"

"I'll let them use my shower for as long as we need you to use the tub," I explained. "That should take care of everything."

Pat turned his head in my direction, even though he was a little off target. "Okay, I guess that will be all right, if it's okay with the other guys. Thanks, Dad. You sure do think of everything."

"I try," was all I responded.

Now that our discussion had ended, I guided Pat to the downstairs bathroom, had him sit on the toilet and undress, while I filled the tub for him. I didn't put a great deal of water in it, just to be safe. I felt if he slid in the tub, it would be easier for him to keep the bandages dry if the water level were low. That would make it easier for him to keep his head above water, even if he were flat on his back.

When everything was ready, I helped him get into the tub and sit down, gave him a washcloth and the soap, and then told him to go ahead and clean up. I explained I would be leaving for a short time, so I could do some other things, but he could call out if he needed anything.

"Wait, I can't do this by myself," he argued. "I thought you were going to stay and help me."

"Pat, you don't need my help," I assured him. "You can wash yourself without having to see anything. Just put the soap where you can find it again and you'll do fine. Just give a try, and if you still need help later, I'll give you a hand when I return. Okay?"

"I guess I don't have a choice, do I?" he whined, as he began to sulk. He did begin to wash himself, although not very enthusiastically, so I made my way out of the room.

I did leave the bathroom, just in case he was listening for my footsteps, but quietly crept back and stood in the open doorway. Silently, I watched his progress, but I had to restrain myself from rushing in there and doing it for him. I merely wanted to be in the vicinity in case anything went wrong.

It was a little awkward for him at first, especially when he accidentally dropped the soap and had to try to find it again, but before long he finished cleaning himself completely and called out when he was done. I hesitated a moment before I went back in, since I didn't want him to know I had been watching him the whole time. Eventually, I walked inside and let him know I was back. After he told me he was done, I helped him stand up, get out of the tub and then I handed him a towel to dry himself off, as he stood on the small throw-rug.

"Aren't you going to help me at all?" he asked, as he took the towel from me.

"Sure, when you really need my help," I explained, "but I think you should be able to do this on your own. Dry off your head and upper body first, and then I'll help you sit on the toilet lid so you can dry your legs and feet."

He made a funny expression with his face, I think to let me know he didn't fully agree with my methods, but did as I suggested. Once he'd finished mopping up the excess water from his body, I asked if he wanted anything to sleep in tonight, since he'd be sleeping in with me. He just laughed and said that wouldn't be necessary.

We did stay up a while longer, once the other boys came back from taking their showers, and we all sat around and talked until bedtime. After a short time, I suggested it was time to turn in, since the rest of the boys still had school tomorrow, even though Pat and I would be staying home. Pat chuckled and announced, "This might not turn out so bad after all."

The others looked startled for a moment, mildly surprised by Pat's comment, but then they began to joke around with him about his current situation. Someone told him how lucky he was that he didn't have to go to school for a while, while another voice questioned what extent some people would go to get out of having to attend classes. It was all taken in the spirit it was offered and the boys had a good time teasing each other, but I finally got them to go to their rooms so they could get some shuteye. Once they had disappeared, Pat suggested he was ready for bed too.

I led him into my room, guided him to his side of the bed, pulled the covers back and let him get in. He slid into place, pulled the sheet and blanket up over himself and then asked if I was coming to bed too. I thought about it briefly and decided I might as well, as he didn't seem to want to be alone. He might even wish to talk more about things, as he attempted to cope with his current situation. Therefore, I told him I was going to turn in also, after I checked the house one final time. Once I returned, I undressed and slid into bed beside him.

We just laid there for a few minutes, listening to each other breathe, before Pat spoke to me. "Thank you for what you did earlier," he began. "Although I was upset because you weren't going to help me, it was good that I learned I'm still able to do most things for myself. In the emergency room, when I was thinking about what it was going to be like for me now, I was mostly worried that I was going to have to depend on someone else to take care of me and wouldn't be able to do anything on my own again."

"Pat, we don't know what kind of long term effects this accident will have on you, but there's no reason you can't still be self-sufficient," I informed him. "You may require some assistance, but I think you should be able to mostly get by without any outside interference. You'll just have to adjust to doing things a little differently and the rest of us will help you learn whatever it is that you'll need to know."

Pat hesitated a moment, before he continued. "And were you responsible for Ricky's idea to read to me too?"

"Probably, but not in the way you're thinking," I replied. "I think he got the idea from when I used to read to him, after he first came here to live, but I said nothing to him about doing it for you. He came up with the idea on his own and I think it was something he really wanted to do for you."

"And you didn't make any suggestions about any of them doing anything like that?" he pressed.

"Not a word," I admitted.

I could see a small smile form on Pat's lips and then he gently nodded his head up and down. "Wow, I really thought it was all your idea," he stated. "I didn't think Ricky would think of doing that on his own. I mean, Ricky and I have never been as close as I am with some of the others, so I was just surprised he was the one who suggested it."

"You two may not be real close," I agreed, "but you're still his brother and he does love you. Ricky is a very caring and thoughtful young man – it's just that he sometimes gets wrapped up in his own life and playing the clown. I will tell you one thing, however, and that is whenever you need someone to help out or someone you can count on, Ricky's your man."

"Yeah, I think I know that now," Pat agreed.

We talked a little while longer and discussed some other topics before we decided to call it a night. Just as I was starting to doze off, I felt Pat move a little closer to me, so our bodies were barely touching. I think he did this as a way of reassuring himself I was still there during the night and that he was not alone.

Chapter 13
The Prognosis

Pat was handling the situation quite well and trying very hard to do things for himself, although there were occasions when he did require some assistance. The first few nights he woke me every time he needed to use the toilet and I would lead him over, line him up with the bowl or help him find the seat, since that was easier for him. After he finished, I would lead him back to bed and help him get in.

Over time, things changed though. Eventually, Pat decided he could count the number of steps between the two rooms and then find his way there on his own. He would also use his hands to feel his way around, so he could be more independent. About the only thing I was required to do for him now was to put the salve on his face and bandaging his head. He did eventually inform me he was trying his best to function on his own, just in case he did have permanent damage, and I was encouraged by his practical approach to his situation. Finally, the time came for the first of his two appointments and I drove him to see the doctor who had treated him in the emergency room.

When we arrived at the doctor's office, we continued to use the same procedure we had been following for Pat to get around. He placed his hand on my arm and followed my lead, while I informed him about anything out of the ordinary, which might give him difficulty. We did get more than a few stares as we walked along and I was glad Pat couldn't actually see what was going on around us. Once we entered the office, we sat in the waiting room for another fifteen minutes, while I tried to keep Pat engaged in conversation, so he couldn't dwell on his situation or worry about the outcome of this visit. Eventually, one of the nurses paged us and led us back to one of the examination rooms. I helped Pat sit on the examination table, while I took a seat in the chair. It was about ten more minutes before the doctor also arrived.

He entered still glancing at Pat chart, but stopped long enough to say hello and ask Pat how he'd been doing and feeling. Pat told him that he'd been doing fine and hadn't had a lot of pain or discomfort. The doctor then asked me how he was handling everything and I told him that Pat had been a real trooper and was handling everything very well. The doctor congratulated him for not letting this get him down and then began to cut off this latest set of bandages I'd applied. He examined Pat's face thoroughly, carefully inspecting all of the areas affected by the chemicals, and then he turned to speak with both of us.

"The skin tissue is coming along nicely, but there will be some scarring on his face, especially around his eyes. We may be able to correct some of it with plastic surgery later, but that will be entirely up to the two of you. I'm not qualified to tell you about his eyes, but you should be getting that information from his ophthalmologist, when you go to that appointment. Do either of you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"

I let Pat go first and he asked the doctor to point out on his face how much area he was talking about. Pat explained he couldn't really tell from my caring for him, because I spread the cream on surrounding areas too. Agreeably, the doctor used his finger to trace around the damaged locations and Pat was somewhat relieved when he discovered it was a smaller area than he'd suspected.

After that, Pat asked the doctor how the damaged skin could be repaired and how long it would take. The doctor answered him very honestly, gave him the information he wanted, and even anticipated a couple of future questions and answered them too. I could tell Pat was absorbing all of this information and envisioning the process in his mind, while deciding whether he wanted to go through what was being described, sometime in the future.

Most of what I had wanted to know had already been asked and answered, so I merely pursued a few details concerning the proposed treatment, such as how much recovery time would be needed after the procedure, possible side-effects and if there were any time restrictions on when we had to decide whether or not to have it done. Once we had all of our answers, the doctor bandaged Pat's head once more and we headed home.

We were both fairly quiet on the drive back, as each of us were digesting the information we had been given and considering the ramifications of following the proposed course of treatment. I know Pat was considering it from the point of view of how he would look and if he would still be attractive to the girls. However, I was looking at it from the perspective of whether it would improve the quality of his life, in both work and social environments, and whether it would change his perception about himself and how he might approach his future. Before I knew it, I was pulling into our driveway. We'd made the trip back home without either of us realizing it.

Once we got inside, I decided it might be the appropriate time to put our cards on the table. "Pat, I know you've been thinking about what the doctor suggested, but have you made a decision yet?"

"I think I'd like to have it done, Dad, especially if I get my eyesight back," he explained. "I don't want people looking at me and thinking I'm some kind of freak or monster."

"I can understand that," I agreed, "but the doctor admitted there will still be some scarring."

"I know, but as long as we can keep it to as little as possible," he informed me. "I know it's not going to be easy either way, but I think I can handle it better if it's not too obvious. I just wonder how the girls are going to react to me now."

"Pat, those who would let something like this effect their judgment of you probably aren't worth the effort anyway," I explained. "Those who are worth it will be able to look past those small imperfections and see the great guy underneath. I don't think you'll have to worry about it."

"Are you sure?" he asked, with the concerned obvious in his tone. "I'm almost afraid to go back to school, because I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Well, you won't be going for a while anyway, so it's nothing to get too upset about just yet," I offered. "I can also arrange for tutors to come to the house so you can keep up with your classmates, that is until you're ready to cope with attending school again."

"Can you get tutors I don't already know?" he inquired. "I don't want anyone who knows me to see me yet."

"Well, I think you're being overly sensitive about this," I suggested, "but, yes, I can arrange it, if it's what you truly want."

"I do, Dad, and I'll love you even more if you can do this for me," he confirmed.

"Oh, a bribe, huh?" I teased. "Well, it isn't necessary and I'll do it for you anyway. I'll set it up to begin sometime next week, depending on how soon I can find people who are qualified."

Hearing that, Pat asked me to move closer, which I did, and once I was by his side, he reached out and gave me an energetic hug. I thanked him, hugged him back and then I went out to fix us both a bite to eat.

Later that afternoon, once the others returned home, they wanted to know what Pat found out, so I let him field all of their questions. His brothers urged him to have that plastic surgery done, after also reassuring him it didn't look bad as it was. They just offered it would make it look even better, which they assumed was what he wanted. He listened to everything they had to offer and told them he'd consider their input when the time came.

When they asked about his eyes, he explained he had an appointment with the ophthalmologist tomorrow, so we'd find out more about that situation then. The boys were all very good telling Pat about everyone who had asked about him and they had even gone to his classes and got his class work for him. Without my urging, the boys had decided to help him with his assignments, with each volunteering to assist him in their best subject. They would read the texts to him and explain the lessons he had missed, while trying to utilize Pat's other senses to make up for his lack of sight. The hardest subject to do this with was math, as it's hard to visualize formulas and problems you can't see.

Later that evening, about an hour after dinner, the doorbell rang. This surprised me, because as far as I knew we weren't expecting any visitors. After thinking about it briefly, we assumed it might be one of Pat's friends, a teacher or someone else from school. Nick happened to be nearest the door at the time, so he answered it, and I heard him talking to someone, but couldn't make out whom it was or what the person was saying. It was only a short time later before Nick invited the person in and led him in.

The visitor was a young man and was following closely behind Nick, but I could tell he was more than a little nervous about being here. He did manage to walk up in front of where Pat was seated, while Nick announced his name. That's when I learned our guest was the boy who was responsible for the accident in the chemistry lab.

"Man, I'm really sorry for what happened," he told Pat. "It was all my fault, cuz I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. I was in too big a hurry and I'm really sorry you got hurt because of it. I hope you're gonna be all right."

"I'm not sure about that yet," Pat told him, "but I know it was an accident and you didn't do it on purpose. I just wish you'd realized beforehand that there are just some places you can't rush or let your mind wander." The boy seemed hurt by Pat's comment, but didn't argue the point. I think he knew Pat's analysis was correct.

Pat must have also realized how harsh his words might have sounded, because he softened his tone a little when he continued. "Of course, maybe I shouldn't have taken my safety glasses off before I put everything else away either. If I'd still had them on, I don't think anything serious would have happened to me."

"Maybe, but I'm really sorry dude," the boy replied. "I know it doesn't mean much now, but I am really sorry. I've felt awful about this since it happened, especially when I found out it had burned your face and eyes like that."

"The doctor said I will have some scars on my face, even with plastic surgery, but we won't know about my eyes until tomorrow," Pat explained.

"I hope you get good news then," the boy offered. "I really feel terrible man, and I hope you can forgive me."

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me, so I don't hate you," Pat offered, "and I'll forgive you on one condition."

"What's that?" the boy asked, looking even more nervous.

"It's like my dad always says," Pat began, "it's okay as long as you've learned from your mistake." I grinned when he said that, but I also heard snickering from some of the other boys. However, the boy seemed to take Pat's comment in stride and shook his head in agreement. "I did dude, cuz I don't want to feel this bad again," he finally replied. "Can I do anything to help or to make up for this?"

"Well, maybe you can help me with future labs and explain what I can't see," Pat suggested.

"I will, but I hope you will be able to see again," he replied, "and then we can just be lab partners or something. I am really sorry about this."

"I know and you don't have to keep saying that. You're forgiven," Pat reiterated. "Who knows, it could have been me who did it to someone else, instead of you. I'll be fine and my dad will take care of everything." The last comment really hit me hard. I appreciated Pat's confidence in me, but I hoped he realized there is only so much I can do. I think he'd be better off putting his faith in God, but I'll assist him as much as I can. I just pray I don't end up disappointing him, if I only take care of the things I can control.

The boys were all very good with Pat, especially Dustin, his former rival in love. I think he still had some tinges of guilt over that altercation and tried to make up for it now. He offered to help Pat to his room and told him that he'd assist him during the night too, but Pat said he wasn't ready to cope with the stairs just yet. He told Dustin he'd spend another night or two with me, but thanked Dustin for his offer and advised him he might take him up on it soon. Dustin merely grinned and replied that would be fine, anytime he was ready.

When Friday rolled around, Pat and I got ready to go to his appointment with the eye doctor. Once we arrived there, we ended up going through a similar wait to see the doctor, although this time I brought some magazines with me, so I could read the articles to Pat and discuss what they were about. This caused the time to pass better today, than at the other office. Once the doctor had Pat seated in the chair, we both held our breath while the doctor made his observations. He continually asked Pat questions as he examined him, and when he finished, he asked me if I would join him in the other room.

"Dad, please," Pat pleaded, "I want to know what he's going to say. I'll be okay. I can handle it."

"If that's what you think, then I agree with you," I responded. "You're old enough and mature enough for this, so that's what we'll do." The doctor looked at me as if I had three heads, shrugged his shoulders and then stood like a statue for a moment. I decide he was still unsure about doing it this way, so I reacted first.

"Doctor, I've always told my boys that I'll treat them as adults, as long as they acted as such. Pat has and deserves to be privy to what you're going to tell me."

"Hey, if you two agree, who am I to argue?" he countered, although he still didn't look convinced. "All right, this is what I've discovered. Pat has received damaged to both corneas, but the damage is much worse to the right eye. Unfortunately, I doubt he'll ever have any vision in that eye again, because the damaged he sustained is too extensive to be reversed. However, the left eye offers some hope. I do believe he'll have limited vision in that eye, such as being able to see shadows and vague shapes, although he will still be classified as being legally blind in that eye too." I saw Pat tense up after hearing this and watched as he tried to maintain his composure. "I'm sorry I don't have better news for you, but there has just been too much damage, so I can't offer you more hope than that."

At that moment, I saw Pat slowly exhale, but only out of necessity, and I could see the disappointment etched upon his face. After a couple of minutes, he regained his composure and then tried to find out exactly what he'd have to endure. He began to question the doctor about the extent of the damage done to each eye and examined the details about how much eyesight he might still have in his left eye, while I just sat and listened. Pat was very thorough, even asking the doctor about the smallest detail concerning his options, while verifying just how much he'd be able to see and do. I could tell the doctor was quite impressed with how Pat handled himself and possibly now agreed with our decision to include him in on this information. For the most part, I let the two of them discuss everything with each other and I just sat back and listened. When Pat had asked all he could think of at that time, he became very quiet and seemed to be considering the information he had just received. Just before we left, the doctor spoke to me.

"I wasn't sure I agreed with you when you first wanted to include Patrick in on this discussion," he admitted, "but I now realize you know your son very well. I would never have expected a boy his age to be able to deal with his emotions and the ramifications of what I told him, and still be able to think clearly and ask some very pertinent questions. I think both of you should be complimented, him for his maturity and you for doing such a fine job of raising him."

"Thank you, doctor, but I can't take all the credit for that," I informed him. "Pat has only been with me for a few years and came to me with a certain amount of maturity. He proved that to me early, by dealing with some problems within the family after he first arrived. Besides, I suspect he'll recover quicker and more fully if he is involved and has some control over what is going to happen to him."

"Well, regardless of who guided him, he is a remarkable young man and I will do everything within my power to help him," the doctor acknowledged. "I want both of you to take care and I'll see you again in another week. Just have the receptionist set up your next appointment as you leave."

We thanked him, made the appointment and started home. In the van, Pat didn't speak at first. He just seemed to be mentally reviewing what he had been told. Eventually I spoke to him. "Anything I can help with?" I asked, hoping to get him to open up a little.

"Nobody can help me with this, I know that now," he replied. "I'm going to be blind and the only thing anyone can do now is to teach me how to be a good blind person." He began to sob, although I didn't see any tears, and I reached over and placed my hand on his leg, trying to comfort him. "Why did this have to happen to me, Dad? I wasn't doing anything wrong and I didn't cause it. Why do I have to be the one who's blind now?"

"I don't have an answer for that," I offered. "It was just an unfortunate accident. It could have happened to anyone."

"Then why didn't it?" he countered. "Why did it have to happen to me? Am I a bad person? Is that why this happened to me?"

"No, Pat, you're not a bad person," I told him. "You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't know what else I can tell you."

"I don't know if I can do this, Dad," he sobbed out. "I guess I never considered how much I relied on my eyes until I didn't have them any more."

"It is very easy to take something like that for granted," I admitted, "but you can do fine without them. You've already proven that to an extent, as you've done things for yourself since the accident, without too many problems."

"But I didn't know I was ALWAYS going to be blind then!" he exclaimed. "Dad, I don't know how blind people live this way and I'm not sure if I can do it."

"Well, I guess it's probably is easier for those who have been blind since birth or became blind at a very young age, as they might not be able to fully understand or appreciate what they are missing," I offered, "but those who lose their eyesight later in life can end up doing just as well. They can still lead productive and fulfilling lives."

"I know, but they must be special people," he countered. "It would take a very strong person to cope with something like this, or losing their speech, hearing, a limb, or becoming paralyzed. Having to cope with any of those problems would be hard to adjust to and I'm not sure I can do it. All I can think about now is how most of the things I like to do won't be the same now, because I can't see. Either I won't be able to do them or I can no longer do them the way I want to."

"I can understand how you feel and I can empathize with you're concerns," I agreed, and then paused as I tried to come up with an argument that might also give him some degree of hope.

Chapter 14
Playing the Hand You're Dealt

It was several moments before I could think of a way to counter Pat's concerns. I wasn't certain if it would be enough, but it was all I could come up with for the time being.

"Pat, do you remember learning about Helen Keller in school?" I began. "She was blind AND deaf, but she graduated from college and went on to do great things. You can too. It's just that you have to believe in yourself first. You'll never know what you can accomplish until you try, but I think you're the type of guy who can overcome any obstacle, no matter how great it is."

"I'm not so sure about that," he confessed. "I don't think I could have done what she did, Dad. I mean, I understand what you're trying to tell me, but I can't imagine being happy without being able to see. I won't be able to watch television or go to the movies. I won't be able to play sports or see what my girlfriend looks like. And what kind of girl would want to go out with a blind guy anyway?"

"A girl who loves the person and isn't overly concerned with appearance or what others think," I replied, as soothingly and convincingly as possible.

"Yeah, the ugly ones, fat ones and those who don't want to make themselves look nice…" but I cut him off.

"And you wouldn't be interested in them?" I countered, knowing where he was going with this. "You'd let those types of things bother you, even if they were willing to overlook your scars and being blind?"

"I don't want someone who doesn't look good," he confirmed.

"What difference would that make, if you can't see them?" I asked, hoping he would realize how shallow this was.

"Well, other people would still be able to see them," he replied.

"And it wouldn't make a difference if they were nice, kind, considerate, friendly or if they truly loved you?" I pressed.

"Dad, I think I know what you're getting at, but I wouldn't want my friends or brothers making fun of me because of what she looked like or whatever," he announced, as if that were all there were to it.

"Would these same people be making fun of you because you're blind?" I asked, in order to make my next point.

"That's a dumb question. You know they wouldn't," he told me, stubbornly.

"Then why would they make fun of whatever girl you would want to be with?" I asked. "If they are willing to overlook your problems, wouldn't they also be willing to overlook any flaws in the person you loved?"

"It's not the same thing, Dad," he countered, but then paused, unable to explain why he thought this.

"Yes, it is, Pat," I informed him. "They wouldn't make fun or you, because they loved you, and they wouldn't make fun of anyone you loved or chose to be with for the same reason. If they did, then they are the ones who are not worth worrying about." Pat started to open his mouth, but didn't say anything. He closed it again and then sat there for a minute or so, thinking about something. When he did finally speak; it was in a very soft voice.

"Okay, maybe you're right about that," he conceded, "but I always saw myself having a cute wife and cute kids. How's that going to happen now?"

"It may or it may not, but I don't think it will hinge totally on whether or not you are blind," I replied. "I do think you may have to reconsider or modify some of your goals, but I don't think you'll have to make any drastic changes to your life. With the advances that are being made in medical science and technology every year, someone could come up with a cure for your situation or develop a technology to help you become more productive. It is even easier now then when Helen Keller did it and you might wish to consider what Stephen Hawkings has done, even with his handicap. He has come up with theories to challenge even the most intelligent people."

"Is he that scientist guy in the wheelchair?" Pat asked, trying to place the name

"Yes, the British physicist who has come up with ideas about how the universe expands, theories about black holes and he even wrote the book, 'A Brief History of Time'. He suffers from ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), Lou Gehrig's Disease, but he didn't stop trying and coming up with amazing discoveries. He's in a wheelchair and can hardly do anything for himself without someone to help him or the aid of technology, but he never gave up hope or stopped trying to do what he was capable of. Without his efforts, it may have been decades before we could have come up with the theories or explanations he has set forth, so the advances in his field of science would have been drastically slowed."

"Okay, I see your point, but why did this have to happen to me? I'm not a great thinker like he is. I'm only average in school," Pat asserted.

"Look, Pat, I'm not sure if I can explain why bad things happen to good people, but they do," I responded. "I've always heard that the Lord moves and operates in mysterious ways, but there must be some reason why you were chosen in this case. Maybe you are the only one who can do something that needs to be done, but only if you are in this condition. Or possibly it's the only way you can learn some valuable lesson. I'm just not sure of the reason, but it doesn't negate the fact there is a purpose for this to have occurred."

"What could I possibly learn or do?" he whined, not yet convinced by my argument.

"I don't have the answer for that, but there must be something," I reiterated. "Some day we might be able to look back and decide what it was, but for now, you'll just have to try to do whatever you can to not let this effect you negatively."

"I'll try, but it will be hard," he admitted.

"I'm sure it will be, but I also know you can do it, if anyone can," I told him.

"You really think so?" he asked, amazed.

"I have all the confidence in the world in you," I assured him. "I'm betting you're not going to let this ruin your life. It may change it some, but you aren't going to let it ruin it for you."

"I hope you're right, and I'll do my best," he assured me. At least he was more positive about it now.

"That's all any of us could ask," I concurred.

After our discussion, Pat began concentrating on his dilemma and I was dying to know what he was thinking about. As hard as it was, I didn't bother him and left him to his thoughts until he decided to share them with me. A short time later, he came out to speak with me.

"Dad, I think I have an idea," he began, while facing in my general direction. "Maybe we can help some handicapped kids by using some of the money from the charity. Maybe we could help them get the things they need to be able to enjoy their lives more fully or make it easier for their families to deal with them. And if they don't have families, maybe we could help them get adopted. What do you think about that, Dad?" I could tell he wasn't sure what I'd think of his suggestion, but I knew he was bursting inside, hoping that I saw the same possibilities he did.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," I agreed, "and I'll mention it to Sally, the next time we speak. We'd been considering focusing on hard to place children, but I think including handicapped children is a stroke of pure genius. See, already you're proving how valuable you can be!"

Even though Pat's chest swelled with pride, I could still tell he was a bit embarrassed by my praise. His blushing gave it away. It was, however, comforting to know he had taken our previous conversation seriously. Although he had first been tempted to wallow in self-pity, he had taken my advice to heart and was already trying to act upon it. It was then that I knew he was going to do just fine.

That night Pat shared his suggestion with his brothers and they all thought it was a good idea too, but they weren't sure how much the charity could do to help these children. Therefore, in order to better understand what Pat was going through and what he wanted to do for others with handicaps, the boys decided they wanted to experience what it was like being blind as well.

To accomplish this, they agreed to help each other carry out an experiment and split into pairs, with one of each pair having his eyes covered completely for the rest of the day. They were going to do this until late the following afternoon, and then switch places with their partner. The other person was to make sure the 'blind' boy didn't get hurt in the process and be there to help him with whatever he might need along the way. I was glad to see everyone was willing to experience the hardships of what it would be like to be blind, if only for a limited amount of time, and wanted to learn what others had to go through when they could not see. Although it was a limited experience, it would still give them a taste of what it was really like and help them appreciate it better than they could without experiencing it personally.

I must admit it was a rather interesting day, as the boys tried to do for their partners what we had all done for Pat. They tried to help them play a few games, as well as read them stories, magazine articles and comics, but the 'blind' boys thought most of those activities lacked the same attraction and enjoyment level they had when they could also see what was going on. Then came the mealtimes. Lunch and dinner were new lessons in patience and adjustment, and there were more than a few accidents along the way. Pat felt honored that his brothers were doing all of this just to see what he was going through, so they could understand it better and help him adjust. He was right. I was pretty impressed by that too.

By Saturday afternoon the 'blind' boys were more than ready to regain their sight and switch roles. That did not happen before they discussed what it was like not being able to see and shared their thoughts and feelings with the others who had gone through it at the same time. One particular disturbing time for them was when they awakened during the night or first thing in the early morning and had forgotten about their temporary condition. Some went through more than a little distress during those times, believing something was really wrong with them, before they remembered their experiment.

The next group took their turn at being 'blind' and I was pleased to see those who had already gone through this were not taking it lightly and were intent upon giving their partners the benefit of what they had learned. They would let them grope with something for a while and not rush in to bail them out or offer advice. This was because they didn't wish to interfere with their partner's chance to learn from the experience, the same way they had. They would even let their 'blind' partner become frustrated over their inability to do something, before they'd actually give them help, and then only enough to keep them from giving up. They certainly didn't want to make this easy for them or let them off without a true appreciation for what it was like. At meals we had a few more accidents – with things getting knocked over, dropped on the floor and some major spills, but nothing too serious. As evening rolled around, the boys led their partners to clean up, but they would not do it for them. Each one of them forced his partner to do everything for himself, and even the limited sexual encounters were strictly a hands-on experience this time around.

Sunday morning things seemed to going along fairly normally, although the boys decided to end their experiment before we went to church. This was because they didn't want to draw any more attention to Pat than would already be the case. They did, however, continue their research throughout breakfast and while getting ready for Sunday services, but uncovered their eyes once we were in the van. I think everyone now had a better appreciation for what Pat was going through and could better understand his fears and apprehensions. As we drove to church, Pat took a second to thank each of them for going to all that trouble to understand what was happening to him and emphasized it made him feel good to know his brothers were willing to do so much, primarily for him.

Once he finished, the boys told him they learned from it too and it would help them decide how they could best assist him, while trying to make certain he would remain as independent as possible. It was a very proud time for me, watching my boys learn lessons in humility, empathy and cooperation.

By the time we arrived at church, all of us were ready to attend the service as usual, although this time there was a slight different. Pat stayed close to me, holding tightly to my arm, seeing this was one of his rare appearances in public since the accident. He was concerned, and maybe even a little afraid, of the types of reaction he would get from the others, although he couldn't see how they were responding. I have to admit, there were some stares, but most of this attention was just normal curiosity about his condition. Some of the parishioners even came over to speak to us when we arrived, so they could tell Pat how sorry they were to hear about his accident and let him know they were praying things would work out for him. Pat thanked them, realizing they were being sincere in their good wishes, and then we went in and sat down, waiting for the sermon to begin. After singing a couple of hymns to start the service, a few announcements were read, and then our minister stepped forward and addressed the congregation.

"Today's sermon will be based on a inspirational piece written by Mary Stevenson in 1936" the pastor began. "I have chosen to use this as the starting point today for many reasons, most of which revolve around people blaming God for all the ills of the world, especially tragedy and illness, and for suggesting that God is just a figment of man's imagination and a way to explain unexplainable events. Well, I'm here to tell you that Jesus is our rock and our foundation. He is here for us when we need him most, and even though we don't understand why some things happen as they do, he does have a plan for each of us. I am often comforted by the thought once told to me by my mother, 'that when God closes a door, he opens a window.' This has always reassured me and helped me to realize that no matter what happens or how bad the situation seems at the time, God often provides us with another path, often equally as good as the one we were on. I hope this also proves comforting to you and that you will listen carefully to the words I am about to read to you. This simple piece is entitled, 'Footprints in the Sand'.

"One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it: 'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all they way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me.' The Lord replied: 'My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

The pastor paused briefly, to allow those assembled to absorb the full meaning of these words. After an appropriate amount of time had passed, he began again. "If you will trust in the Lord and lean on him during your times of need, he will support you and even carry you when you are too weak to go on alone. When a door has been shut in your life, he will help you open a window and give you other options. If you are willing to look for such possibilities, you will discover his guidance each and every time you need him. He will always be there to help you go on."

After a few more hymns and some closing comments, the service ended and everyone began to leave. On the way out, we said our good-byes and complimented the minister on his sermon. While we were there, he turned toward Pat and told him he hoped that he too found the strength to deal with his problems and to call upon the Lord for guidance during this difficult time.

"Do you really think he'll open a window for me?" Pat asked him.

"Yes, my son, I do," he responded. "You'll just have to be patient and observant, so you'll notice it when it does open."

We both thanked him again and began to head for the van when Sally intercepted us. She greeted the boys and me, but specifically told Pat she was sorry to hear about his situation. Once that was taken care of, I took a second to apprise her about Pat's suggestion that we help physically handicapped children. We gave her a quick rundown about what Pat intended and Sally thought it was a wonderful idea. She said she would explore it further and look into institutions that deal with such children on a larger scale. We both thanked her and then headed home.

Once there, some of the boys and I began to start our Sunday dinner, when Pat asked to speak we me. I agreed, but he made it clear he wanted to go to my bedroom, so we could talk privately. After telling him that would be fine, I led him in, we sat on the bed and Pat began to ask his questions.

"Do you think the minister was right when he told us God opens a window when he closes a door?" he asked, to see if I believed in what the minister had told us.

"Yes, I do, Pat," I confirmed. "When he closed a door to me, after my wife died, I often wondered if I'd ever feel needed or find happiness again. That's when he opened a window, making it possible for me to become a foster parent, thus bringing all of you boys into my life. I believe he did a similar thing later, when our family continued to grow and began to put a strain on our finances. It was then that he guided Mr. Goldman to include us in his will and leave his life's savings for our benefit. Yes, Pat, God does open windows when it seems he has shut a door."

"What do you think that will mean for me?" he wondered. "What kind of window do you think he'll open, now that he's closed the door on my sight?"

"I have no way of knowing that, but I'm sure something will come up," I explained, sincerely. "It may just be a way to cope with your condition, new options to choose from, maybe a new insight into your life or a way to help others in similar conditions. Maybe that's why you came up with the idea of having the charity help physically handicapped children cope with their condition or find new homes. I doubt that suggestion would have come to you without this having happened first, so maybe that was one of the windows he opened for you. There may be others too, but only time will tell and I pray He makes the signs obvious enough so you won't miss them."

"Thanks, Dad, and I hope both you and the minister are right," he finished. As I got up to leave, Pat asked if he could stay there and think about things for a while longer, so I let him lie on the bed, while I went back to fix the meal. I knew he would have to answer many of these questions for himself and I could only guide him when he wished me to, but his greatest struggles would still lie ahead.

Chapter 15
The Promise of Easter

The rest of March passed by without incident and April brought the hope of better days to come. I called the Yamadas and told them about Pat's accident and explained we would be unable to visit over spring break, as we had planned. I told them I would be willing to send Sammy and Andrew over, if they wished, but they told me they didn't want the boys flying such a great distance all alone. They suggested I should stay and take care of Pat for now, and we could make plans to get together again at another time. I thanked them for their understanding and suggested maybe we could work something out for over the summer, and they agreed that would be acceptable. I was very grateful they were as understanding as they were, since I had made them a promise to have the boys come visit every year over spring break, before they decided to let me adopt their grandsons. I was appreciative they let me keep the boys in the first place and, therefore, hated to break my promise to them.

I also decided it was time to make it up to Kevin and Frankie for not being able to take them out more often for their driving lessons. I planned to do this by cramming as much driving time as possible into the weekend. The other boys helped to make this possible by offering to help Pat with whatever he needed while we were gone, thus giving me the opportunity to spend the extra time with the other pair without feeling guilty. I thanked the other boys many times for all of their help, and Kevin and Frankie did the same.

Frankie had earlier said he would be willing to wait until things had settled down with Pat, before we continued with the driving lessons, but I told him we would find a way to work around this. I had thanked him for his offer and was quite impressed with Frankie's attitude toward the whole situation. It's sometimes hard for me to realize this same young man had done many horrible things the first time he was with us, but he has more than proved he isn't that person any longer.

When we finally got out on the road, I was impressed with Frankie's ability behind the wheel. That's when he informed me that he had done a little illegal driving when he was younger, when he took other people's cars out for joy rides when they weren't around. He never got caught, so he didn't have a record of any driving incidents that might hinder his getting his license as planned. He also told me he realized now that what he had done was foolish and could have resulted in damage to the vehicles or personal injury to his friends or him, but at the time the chance of those things happening didn't seem probable. He said Pat's accident had made him reconsider those decisions now and he realized how lucky he had been that nothing bad had happened to him during those foolhardy outings. Without my asking, he also promised he would never do anything like that again and would stop anyone else who was inclined to try such crazy stunts.

Kevin's ability behind the wheel wasn't quite up to par with his fellow student, but he was working hard to improve his skills. Frankie was gracious enough to allow Kevin more time to practice his driving and parking skills and was also willing to give him suggestions when he did something wrong. I think, at first, Kevin was insulted that Frankie was trying to tell him how to drive, but after he saw how well Frankie did during his own turns, he seemed to change his mind and began to feel honored that Frankie would try to help him too. During our classes, Frankie and Kevin seemed to grow much closer as brothers and even started to hang around each other more at other times too. This included asking the other to join in when they were doing things with their friends from school and it was very nice to see this happening.

The arrival of April also meant Easter was not far off. That meant we would soon be having a houseful of company again, to celebrate the religious holiday. Almost everyone who had been there for Christmas was planning to return for the Easter weekend, except for our Japanese grandparents. This meant we were quite busy planning for this get-together, in addition to doing a great deal of housekeeping and going to school. Everything was proceeding without incident and we were now entering the final week of classes before Easter Sunday.

Pat was working hard and managing to keep up with his studies and each of his tutors was very impressed with his progress. As we suspected, math was giving him the greatest difficulty, but he was still able to grasp the concepts, even if we hadn't figured out how to get him to be able to 'see' the actual problems he was working on.

As the end of the week approached, our visitors began to arrive. They had all been told about Pat's accident, but we did have to fill them in about what had been happening since that time. They all were very good about talking to him about his situation and offering to do whatever they could for him. They even offered to stay in for dinner Saturday evening, instead of going out to a restaurant like we usually would, but Pat wouldn't hear of it. Proudly, he explained he now felt much more confident about going out in public and had few problems eating his meals (as long as I still assisted him when necessary), so he felt it was time to try something new, like eating out. In order to make sure he wasn't just saying this so he didn't ruin the holiday for everyone else, I took him aside and we discussed this in greater details in private. However, he removed my doubts and convinced me he actually wanted to do this and felt ready to try. As long as he felt so confident, I called and made the reservation. This was definitely a good sign, as far as Pat's rehabilitation was concerned.

It turned out to be a very interesting evening. Like I mentioned earlier, everyone was there except for the Yamadas, including my older children and grandchildren. Jordan and Nicky had taken a special interest in Pat, after they learned about his accident, and wanted to sit beside him at the table. They asked me first if they could, and I told them that would be fine, as long as their parents agreed to it. I watched them as they went to ask their mother and father if they could sit next to Pat to eat, and they were very animated in their appeal. After a brief discussion, and their parents looking in my direction for my nod of approval, it was agreed this would be fine. Excitedly, the two little ones raced back and took their place in the two seats on either side of Pat. Now that had been settled, everyone else shifted his or her seat accordingly.

I sat beside Nicky, just one seat further away from Pat, but still close enough to assist him if he needed my help. I cut up his food and explained where everything was for him, and then left him on his own. He did very well and everyone was quite impressed by his effort. Both of the little ones watched Pat during the whole meal, first observing me cut up his food and then listening to me tell him what was on his plate and where it was situated, but I think they were most intrigued as they watched Pat locate everything for himself and carefully lift it to his mouth.

My grandsons proved to be a little impatient at times and tried to take over and help Pat out. Sometimes this meant they might attempt to help Pat get something on his fork or they would hand him his drink before he could locate it himself. I could tell Pat was pleased they wanted to help him, but I could also tell he was becoming mildly frustrated that he wasn't being allowed to prove himself in public. Therefore, I gently had to explain to the little ones that Pat preferred to do these things for himself. I emphasized it was nice that they were willing to help him, but he'd be better off in the long run if he was able to do this on his own.

Pat tried to soften my admonition a bit, by thanking them for their concern, since he felt they were only doing what they thought best. In order to humor his nephews from that point on, Pat let them do other things for him, that didn't involve eating. He could tell how much they cared for him and didn't want to stifle their desire to help others, so he came up with alternatives they could help him with. Most of these involved situations that he might have called upon me to assist him with instead, such as when he needed to use the restroom, but the boys were satisfied they could finally help. He willingly let Jordan and Nicky guide him to the men's room and lead him to the urinal, although he did the rest for himself, but then he also let them guide him to the sink, explain where the soap dispenser and towels were located, so he could wash up afterward.

I guess in the long run he was more correct than I, by finding things they could do for him, while avoiding the situations that Pat wanted to complete by himself. Later that evening, as we made our way home, I told him I agreed it was better to allow them to show their compassion and be helpful, while still allowing him to assert his independence. I told him he was growing wiser than I, but he claimed he was just doing what I'd taught him.

Although we had the dining room pretty much to ourselves this evening, there were still a few other couples that shared the room with us at various times. They would occasionally glance in Pat's direction, noticing his condition, but then nod and smile at his accomplishments. I also noticed their reactions when they saw his two nephews helping to lead him to the men's room. Even our waitress complimented all of them on how well they had done and Pat just took it in stride. My grandsons, however, ate up the attention they got for being good Samaritans and I was convinced this would only encourage them to do more of this type of service for others in the future. It was nice to see them get so much positive reinforcement for their good deeds, while learning there are times they need to let others exert their independence.

After dinner, Aunt Sally announced she had made some special arrangements for us during the following week, which would be our spring break from school. She explained she had scheduled us to visit a school for the blind and a school for the deaf during that week, to pursue our wish to help children with physical handicaps. Pat thanked her for all of us, since this was basically his special project, and he was looking forward to the visits and meeting other children with handicaps as well. I did speak to Pat about this in more detail later, as we were preparing for bed, and he indicated he was really looking forward to talking to the other kids and finding out how they coped with their handicap. He then went on to add that he thought this might make it easier for him to handle his own situation, seeing it looked as though his condition wasn't going to improve. Hearing this, I told him not to give up hope, but I was pleased he was adopting a realistic approach, just in case things didn't work out exactly as we wished.

The evening ended with us winding down at home and Pat slept with me on the sofa bed in the living room, since I gave the Spences my room, as we normally did. The Spences had objected to this arrangement, since they felt bad about the change making it more difficult for Pat, but he assured them he'd be fine. Eventually, they gave in and we all settled in for some rest.

Sunday morning, after breakfast, everyone got dressed to the nines and we all went to church. We entered the edifice, en masse, and I think we filled up three or four pews once we were settled. Pat sat next to me and leaned against my side the entire time. It was a typical Easter service, with the minister talking about the resurrection of Christ and the hope it brought to those who believed in him. He also mentioned this should not only give us hope about what would happen to us after death, but it should also give us peace in knowing he was there to guide and assist us while we lived too. The hope of the resurrection was not only the promise of eternal life, but it was also proof that Jesus was the Son of God and could do all of the things he had promised when he walked the earth.

After the service, we stopped to talk with the pastor on the way out and Pat told him he was still looking for his open window, but admitted he may have also been used by God to open a window for those in similar situations. We explained briefly about our plans for the Foundation, our upcoming visits to the schools of the blind and deaf and then informed him about some of the things Pat hoped to accomplish through the charity. The minister placed his hand on Pat's shoulder, congratulated him on being an instrument of change and hope, and reassured him that someone else would be there to open a window for him, the same way he was doing for others. We thanked him for his encouragement and then drove home to enjoy our Easter meal.

It took a while to finish preparing everything, but the ladies wouldn't let us do everything on our own for this meal, as we had planned. They took over and helped with much of the meal, while telling us we had already done more than our share and had our hands full as it was. By the time we sat down together, all of us enjoyed a wonderful dinner of ham, sweet and mashed potatoes, several different vegetables, salad and some homemade pies. I do believe everyone enjoyed the dinner, as well as the family interaction we had all come to look forward to.

As the meal was coming to an end, the Spences announced they had decided to buy a small home in the area, so they could be close to us from April and until the end of Christmas holiday season. After New Year's, they would return to their Arizona home and spend the cold months of January, February and March in the milder climate there. They said this way they could see us all more often, not uproot me out of my bedroom all of the time and take a more active role with the charity. They would only seek the refuge of the warm Arizona sun when we were in the worst winter months, since their bodies found the bitter cold more unbearable now, than when they were younger. I think everyone was excited about this news and the boys were thrilled John and Margaret would be nearby for most of the year.

After the Spences made their announcement, my son and daughter-in-law told us they also had exciting news they wished to share. Eagerly, they informed us Andrea had just discovered she was slightly more than three months pregnant, possibly because of their exuberant New Year's Eve celebration with us, and would be giving birth in late September or early October. They both seemed thrilled, and Jordan was excited he was going to have a brother or sister. The rest of us were pleased by the news too, since there would always be room for one more.

After dinner, we spent some quality time with those we don't get to see very often by discussing a wide variety of topics or playing cards and other games together. All in all, it was a very relaxing afternoon.

During this time, the two little ones never left Pat's side and were almost acting as if some unseen force was holding them close to him. I could tell Pat was deeply touched by their attentiveness and did everything he could to make them feel useful and appreciated. During their time with him, Nicky and Jordan would watch Pat closely, studying his every move, so they would be prepared when he needed their help. However, they also learned from our discussion earlier and didn't always try to jump in and do things for him. Sometimes, they actively encouraged him to try some things on his own, since they realized they would be going back to their own homes soon and would no longer be there to assist him. Although they would guide him to the bathroom, they never stayed in there with him and constantly told him he could do everything by himself. When he finished his business, they would lead him to wherever he wanted to go next, using the same procedure I used with Pat, whenever he was with me. I think Pat and I would both be sad when they finally had to leave.

When it started getting late, their parents informed them it was time to go, so they both went over to say a special good-bye to Pat before they left. They each told him they hoped he got better real soon and then gave him hugs and kisses before their parents insisted they hurry things along. As Jordan and Nicky were going out the door, I thanked them both for taking such good care of their uncle and informed them I expected to see them back to visit for a few weeks this summer.

Although I hadn't really announced it, I suspected some of the others already guessed I already had or would be canceling our other vacation plans. Therefore, when I had Nicky and Jordan's parents alone, I cleared it with them for their sons to spend some time at our place during the summer months instead. I did this because I figured Pat would most likely be required to undergo various medical procedures during this time frame or recuperating after they had been performed. That's why I thought it would be a perfect time to have the boys come and spend some time with us. Besides, I felt they'd want to be able to help their Uncle Pat while he was undergoing these procedures. The rest of their uncles agreed with this plan too and even suggested we could forgo any major trips this summer and possibly just take a few long weekend jaunts instead, whenever Pat felt up to it. I thanked all of them for their understanding, especially for Pat's sake.

Some of our visitors ending up leaving on Sunday afternoon, while some of the others stayed until Monday. The latter group had taken an extra day off from work, so they could enjoy the holiday with the family and not have to worry about hurrying back to their jobs. I think the others regretted not having done this themselves, as they loaded up their vehicles and drove off.

After things quieted down again, the Spences asked me to recommend a good realtor to them and wondered if I'd be willing to also help them pick out a small ranch home. I immediately told them I'd be happy to do both, which pleased them immensely. Then we discussed what was happening as far as the children at the group home were concerned and they seemed pleased by what I told them. I explained that Sally had found potential parents for several of the youngsters already and the adults and children were spending time getting to know each other, before they made any definite decisions.

I then went on to mention one little boy we had already met, little Richard, and explained the family considering adopting him was a farm family that lived quite a ways out. Due to this, Sally had asked us if it might be possible to have Richard spend a weekend or two with us, so the farm family could meet him part way. It seemed we were located approximately halfway between the group home and their farm, and since this was a busy time of year for them, it would create a greater hardship to have them drive the extra distance. Not only that, but these visits would happen over the course of several weeks, so this way they could actually spend more of their time together, getting to know each other better. Sally had also suggested, as long as it was agreeable with me, she would pick Richard up on a Friday after work and drop him off here. Then she would take him back the following Monday and drop him off at his school. I told her that would be fine, so we finalized the arrangements for them to visit with each other for the next several weekends.

Later that evening, as everyone began to grow weary and head to bed, Pat told me he was ready to turn in as well. I took him back the living room, but he asked if he could take a bath before he went to sleep. I said that would be fine, so I led him to the bathroom, prepared his bath and got him situated in the tub. When I told him I'd be right back, he asked me to stay, saying he had something to talk with me about. I told him that would be fine and then sat on the edge of the tub, just above him.

"Dad, I think I told you before that my parents weren't very religious and I never really went to church until I came here," he began, "but I do believe and trust in God now. I mean, he did open one window for me already, when he sent me here to live with you."

"I thought that was MY window being opened," I countered, "since getting you boys brought purpose back to my life. You see, I was the one who prayed God would give me someone to care for again and now my cup runneth over." Pat chuckled at my little joke.

"Will you pray with me tonight," Pat suddenly asked. "I mean we can even kneel down on the floor and all. It's because I want to let God know that I'm going to trust him to help me."

"I'd be honored to do that with you," I responded, overjoyed. "I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but I did something very similar to that with Ricky and Danny, when they first came to live with me. Unfortunately, I guess we kind of got out of the habit after more and more of you arrived. I suppose it's one of my biggest regrets – that I didn't follow through with the rest of you that way."

"That's okay, Dad. You've done other good things for us, so I don't think God will hold that against you," he responded, trying to comfort me. I chuckled to myself and thanked him for his reassurance on that matter, and then he told me he was finished and ready to get out.

I helped him out of the tub, gave him a towel to dry off with, emptied the bathwater and rinsed the tub. After he had patted off all of the excess water, we headed back to the living room. He sat on the sofa bed and waited for me, while I went to check on the others. They were all getting cleaned up or quietly doing things on their own, so I went back to spend time with Pat. When he heard me enter the room, he got down on his knees beside the sofa bed and waited for me to join him. When I did, he began his prayer.

"God, I know you haven't heard much from me before and I'm really sorry about that now," he began. "I guess until you led me here to live with Dad, I never really had any reason TO believe in you. My parents didn't believe in you and I never went to church, so it wasn't until I started going to church with Dad that I realized you were real. I'm not going to ask you to help me, although I wouldn't mind it if you did, but I'm going to ask you to help me to open a window for some of these other kids who are having to cope with physical disabilities. If you can help us find a way to help them, then I won't ask you for anything else, except to look out for my brothers and my dad and to take good care of them. Amen."

Pat started to get up and I placed my hand on his shoulder and held him where he was. "Pat, I thought you were going to ask him to help you recognize the window he was going to open for you?"

"Yeah, I was," he admitted, "but then I thought that would be real selfish. I mean, I never prayed or talked to him before, so I thought it would be best to ask him to help me help others instead. Maybe someone else will ask for the same thing and that's when he'll help me."

"Well, I guess that is one way to look at it," I agreed. "I have always believed that God hears your prayers to help others better than when people whine for things for themselves."

"Yeah, I wanted to ask him to help me, but I just didn't think I had any right to," he confessed. "After all, I haven't believed in him for very long."

"Well, then I'll pray that he helps you, because I don't know of anyone more deserving of it," I told him, which made him lean against me for a second. "Maybe he'll answer your prayer when we go to visit the schools this week. Remember, we go to the School for the Deaf on Tuesday and to the School for the Blind on Thursday."

"Thanks, Dad, and I remember," he confirmed. "You know, you're the reason I believe in God in the first place."

"Why, because I made you go to church when you first got here?" I asked him.

"Well, not just that," he replied. "I think only God could have found a great guy like you who was willing to be my dad," he added, bringing a tear to my eyes and putting a lump in my throat.

I wanted to say something to him at that point, but I was too choked up to get the words to come out of my mouth. So instead, I merely hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. Before I knew it, he had both arms wrapped around me and his head pressed against my chest. Of course, I wrapped my arms around him as well. We stayed like that for a minute or so, and then I helped him get into bed. As I crawled in beside him under the covers, he moved over closer to me, and cuddled tightly against me. That's the way he stayed until morning.

Chapter 16
Doing What We Can

On Monday I called a friend of mine who was in real estate, so we could set up a time for him to come over to the house to meet John and Margaret. I wanted him to show them some listings of the available ranch homes in the area, but he quickly advised me business was a little slow at the moment, so there wasn't a great deal for them to look at. He agreed to come over later that afternoon, if that worked for the Spences, so he could show them his current listings. He said he would allow them to look at the pictures, read the property descriptions and then determine if any of those offerings interested them. Once I told them what the realtor had suggested, John and Margaret rapidly agreed to his plan, and this made both parties happy.

The three of them spent a few hours together that afternoon, and after seeing a couple of listings that interested them, they did a quick drive-by inspection of those properties. That way, if they liked the location and the appearance of the exterior, then they could have the realtor set up an appointment with the homeowner or another realtor so they could view the interior, as soon as the arrangements could be made.

John and Margaret looked a little weary after returning from this outing, but they still took me aside and asked questions about the sections of town these homes were in. This was to ensure there weren't any drawbacks to those neighborhoods that they weren't aware of. Happily, I told them what I could and answered all of their questions, and then they went back to discuss their choices privately. As far as I know, they still hadn't made any decisions before they went to bed later.

The boys and I got up early Tuesday morning and made our way to the Western Pennsylvania School for the Deaf in Pittsburgh. Sally joined us on this little outing and it proved to be a very interesting visit. The school serves quite a broad range of ages, since it works with both children and young adults, from the age 5 to 21. The students are taught a nearly identical academic curriculum as what they would get in a public school, but they are also offered other subjects, which are specifically geared toward the deaf student.

During our time there, we saw how the younger children were taught sign language and some of us even managed to pick up a few signs ourselves that afternoon. We also learned how to sign the alphabet using our fingers. In addition to these types of classes and the normal academic subjects, the students also received instruction in the use of computers. Considering the type handicap involved, it didn't surprise us the courses were very visually oriented and relied a great deal on demonstrations and the written word. I knew this made it even more difficult for Pat to appreciate, but he listened to me telling him what I was seeing and made the most of it.

Over the course of the day, we were also told about some of the modifications these students had in their homes, to accommodate for their lack of hearing. For example, the doorbell would be hooked up to a light, instead of a buzzer, or to both, if the rest of the family members could hear. The phone was also connected to a light and could be hooked up to a special device (TDD) that would print the messages out and allow the receiver to type a message back. This device could be a stand-alone piece of equipment or it could be integrated into a computer, by means of a TDD modem. However, with the growing use of instant messaging programs on computers, this was almost unnecessary now.

The children were also able to participate in sports at the school, including volleyball and basketball for the girls, and soccer and basketball for the boys. The major difference with how the games were played was just in how they communicated with their coach and each other during the contests and practices, but the game itself looked basically the same. They were just as capable of competing and performing at the same level of ability as any hearing child of equal physical ability.

Before we left, we learned many other things about the students and the school too, and had a chance to chat with members of the staff and some of the children attending there, through an interpreter of course. Although most of these children also spent time with their families, there were a few who preferred not to go home for very long, because they felt cut off from most things that allowed them contact with the outside world. At home they could only communicate with their parents, if they didn't have a computer or the TDD device to help them keep in touch with others. Some of their parents also had only a limited knowledge of sign language, since they couldn't find the time to schedule in the classes that would give them a better grasp of the subject, due to their job requirements or other family obligations. This information gave us an idea of at least one way we could help these children.

Before we retuned home, we had a chance to talk privately with the director and I suggested he make requests to the Castaway Foundation to help those students in need of a computer, TDD device or any other piece of equipment they might need to make their home life more comfortable and normal for them. I also suggested I would check into the idea of getting each of the students a laptop computer, which they could carry back and forth between home and school, so they could use their computer to stay in touch with their family or friends, even while they were away.

I also suggested our charity might be willing to pay for the cost of the sign language classes for the parents and/or siblings who needed more instruction to be able to communicate with the deaf family member. The charity might even consider reimbursing the wages of any parents who had to take time off from work to attend these classes or pay for child-care, if they had other children at home who would need to be watched during these times. All the director would need for them to do to get this help is to have a family member submit a request in writing and then I'd do what I could to take care of these issues for them. The director, the boys and I all agreed that by ensuring the family could communicate with the deaf family member and that person could, in turn, with others whenever they wished was of utmost importance. This would be given first priority, as far as the charity was concerned.

At home that night, the boys were talking excitedly about the things they had seen and learned at the school and were trying to figure out what else they might be able to do to help. After some discussion about this, we agreed the older boys could help by contacting companies dealing with computers, TDD devices and modems, so they could tell them about the charity and our goals. Then they would request quotes on the best prices these places could give us on these items, so we could start providing them to those who needed them. We started to compile a list of quotes for each device, but we also had the companies mail us the information, complete with specifications. It was fun watching the boys getting excited about helping others.

On Thursday, we made our visit to the Overbrook School for the Blind in Philadelphia, with Sally joining us again. This trip struck a little closer to home, because of Pat's current condition, and the boys took a special interest in what they learned here, hoping this knowledge would help them make life a little better for their brother. The school dealt with students with an even greater age range than the School for the Deaf, as they help students from the age of 3 to 21. These students could commute, if they lived nearby, or live on campus in the dormitories, although they had to be at least 7 to qualify for that privilege.

Once again, the academic courses offered were the same as would be given at any public school, but there were other courses that could also be taken, which were designed to teach things a sightless person would need to master. We saw how children were taught to utilize Braille, an alphabet created by using raised dots, so they could read their special textbooks and books in their library. In addition to that, they were given instruction on how to move about by utilizing a small foldable cane, but they were also taught little tricks they could use to remember where things were, how far away various objects were or how many steps might be on a particular staircase.

Besides the classroom activities, the students were trained to do many other different tasks, some of them of the normal everyday variety, which sighted people really don't think much about, and other more advanced skills, sometimes job related. The younger children were instructed in such things as brushing their teeth and getting dressed on their own, while the older students might be shown how to select their own clothing, using little tricks to help them know the color of the garment by where it was hung in the closet or by reading Braille labels attached to each item. They were also taught how to prepare meals and clean their rooms, as well as other things, like woodworking and how to use computers equipment with special audio equipment. The school's goal was to make each student independent and able to adapt to real-life situations when they were on their own.

The school was very big on teaching their students career skills, including vocational skills for those who were so inclined. They even allowed students to run the snack bar (which included the responsibility for doing the short-order cooking), working in the school store (which meant handling the money and stocking the shelves) and putting out their own school newspaper. They also offered extracurricular activities, such as choir, bell choir, voice classes and sports (track and field, swimming, wrestling, hiking and cheerleading). They really were offered quite a wide variety of activities and opportunities, and we were all quite impressed.

Pat did ask many questions as we went along, and it seemed as if he were getting ready to accept the fact he might be attending this school the following year, although that idea had never been suggested. The staff graciously answered all of his questions, while attempting to also soothe his apprehensions, as it was evident why he was so interested. I think he was trying to take control of his life and plan his own future.

In talking to various staff members later, some of my sons wanted to know why they didn't see any guide dogs being used. It was then explained to us the guide dogs, or seeing-eye dogs as some people like to refer to them (we were to find out why later), were a very expensive proposition, and for that reason only supplied by private organizations, which were supported by donations. These organizations also had other requirements such as insisting those adopting their dogs come to them, so their training could be conducted there. One of those organizations, The Seeing Eye, was not too far from the school, but there were some additional expenses involved with acquiring one of their animals. The Seeing Eye charged $150 for the initial visit and $50 for each subsequent visit. This was just to offset some of their expenses, although it was actually just a small percentage of the group's actual costs. Those fees merely helped to offset a small portion of the overall expense, which included the cost of the dog, equipment, training sessions and transportation to and from Morristown, NJ, where The Seeing Eye was located.

Most of the dogs bred by The Seeing Eye were German shepherds, Labrador retrievers and Golden retrievers, and at 8 weeks those animals selected were assigned to pre-approved volunteer puppy raisers who would teach the dog basic obedience and socialization. These volunteers had to attend 4-H puppy training classes, even though it wasn't required they belong to the 4-H. The trainers would then work with their dog until it was 18 months old, before returning the animal to The Seeing Eye location, where it would spend the next four months in training as a seeing-eye dog. The person receiving the dog was required to be at least 16 years old and the dog would be approximately 2 years-old by the time it was ready to perform the required duties. Due to this, only the oldest students at the school would qualify for this benefit, so the school chose not to include it as part of their service. The dogs would usually serve their owners from five to eleven years, and then the owner would have to come back to the organization for a new companion. Needless to say, this proved to be a very informative session for us.

About the time we finished discussing this topic, the president of the school board came over to see me and asked to speak to me privately. I agreed and we moved away for our little chat. "Mr. Currie, I have been told a little about what you plan to do to help some of our students and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Whatever you can do to assist some of the less fortunate students would be greatly appreciated, but I believe that possibly I can also assist you."

"Assist me?" I asked, quite confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, sir, it's not so much for you, as for one of your sons," he replied. "I understand one of them had an accident recently and lost his sight."

"Yes, that's correct," I confirmed.

"Well, one of the members of our school board is also one of the finest ophthalmologists in the world," he went on. "Would you mind if I contacted him and made an appointment for your son to see him? He is much more abreast of current advancements in the field and might be able to give you options that your own doctor might not be able to offer you."

"That's is very generous of you, but I'd like to check with my son first, before I agree to it," I announced. "I'll bring him over and you can explain this offer to him, if you wouldn't mind."

He consented, so I went over and told Pat I had something to discuss with him. I think his first reaction was that I was going to bring up the possibility of his going to school here, and he was quite surprised when the school board president revealed his offer. Pat was more than a little excited by the possibility, to say the least.

"Do you think this doctor might be able to help me see again?" he asked, hopefully.

"I'm not sure if he can or can't, Pat," I told him, "but I don't see any harm in making an appointment, so we can learn what he has to say. He might discover something the other doctors may have missed or not known about, but then again he may only confirm the other doctors' diagnosis. The choice is yours."

"Well, if it might help me, why not?" he asked. "I don't see where I'd be any worse off if I go there."

"That's true," I confirmed, "but I wanted to make sure you agreed to it, before I let this gentleman set up the appointment."

"I think it's great, Dad," he enthused. "Thank you, sir, for doing this for me."

"You're very welcome, young man," the school board president told him, "and I hope he will be able to help you, just like your family is helping our students."

We left that day with some additional hope and some ideas for helping others. First, I was going to have the Foundation look into supplying the students with Braille printers for their computers, so they would be able to read the information that was sent or gathered for them. In addition to the printers, I also wanted to check into the possibility of having each student get a guide dog as soon as they were eligible. I would encourage the Foundation to arrange for their training during the summer after their 16th birthday and also have the charity pay their fees, as well as make an additional donation to the organization, equal to the non-reimbursed cost of providing this service for each of these students. That way the students we were helping wouldn't take anything away from others whom the organization providing the dogs might be able to benefit.

Before we left, we were told the school board president was able to make an appointment for Pat in May and were quickly assured we were lucky to get in that soon. He explained this particular doctor is booked very far in advance for appointments, because he was one of the best in his field, so Pat and I were pleased by this news. There was no real urgency on our part, because Pat and I both took the attitude that if he can help – fine, but we weren't expecting any miracles. Pat still hadn't completely resigned himself to why this had happened to him, but I do think he had already decided he would try to do the best with what he had to work with and not waste any of his time wallowing in self-pity or regret. I felt the positive approach he was taking would not only help him grow stronger, but also make the adjustment easier for him as time passed, if that's what he needed to do.

That evening at home, the boys made up another list of things they need to get quotes on for the School for the Blind, which included the Braille printers and voice synthesizers for the computers. They also began to bounce ideas around about how we were going to raise more money for the charity, since it seemed that the ideas they were already working on were going to use up a big chunk of what was there. After informing them that some additional donations had come in after the magazine articles ran, we bounced around ideas such as dinners, running the concession stands at athletic events and car washes as other means of adding to the charity's coffers. They went to bed considering what else they might be able to do to help, which touched Pat deeply, since he understood he was the catalyst for their concern.

Friday passed by quickly, as all of us were busy pursuing our ideas in greater detail, but we had to put that aside as evening rolled around. Tonight, Sally would be arriving with Richard from the group foster home, and we had things to do to prepare for his visit. He was going to be spending the weekend with us, because his prospective parents were coming here tomorrow to meet him.

Sally showed up on schedule, with Richard in tow. He was carrying a small suitcase, which had obviously seen better days, but it did seem to serve its purpose. After they came inside, we chatted for a while before sitting down to dinner. I had previously convinced Sally into joining us too, since I thought that would make the transition a little easier for Richard. I sat in my usual seat, with Richard on one side of me and Sally seated on the other side of him. Everyone else shifted their seating accordingly, so this could be arranged. You see, over time the boys had all come to expect to sit at a certain place at the table, claiming squatters' rights, so to speak. They were willing to break this rule and change places from time to time, especially when we had company who wanted or needed to sit by someone in particular, as was the case now.

Richard still appeared be a little nervous about being here, but seemed to be more at ease after discovering the seating arrangement. During the meal, I could feel Richard's leg touching mine, and he never moved it away during the entire time we ate. Not only that, but I could see him frequently staring at me, even though he was answering questions from some of the other boys or listening to what the rest of us were talking about. When the meal was over, a few of the boys started clearing off the table, and Sally announced it was time for her to leave.

Suddenly, Richard seemed to withdraw into himself again, after learning Sally wasn't going to stay too. He knew Sally much better than any of the rest of us, since she had spent much more time at the home, and Richard looked deeply troubled as he went over to her to say good-bye and thank her for everything she had done for him. Sensing his predicament, I moved behind Richard and scooped him into my arms, so I could promise him I'd make sure he was all right. He looked at me a second, to confirm my sincerity, and then a grin began to emerge upon his cute face, just before he gave me a mighty hug about the neck. I knew at that moment things would be fine.

Once Sally left, I went into the family room to read the newspaper, while the boys watched television. Richard came in and sat on the floor, next to my chair, so I knew something was going on in that little brain of his. When I finished reading paper and set it down, Richard stood up, got right in front of me and began to speak.

"Mr. Currie, how come you adopted all of these boys?" he wanted to know.

"Well, that's hard to say, Richard," I responded. "You see, I adopted each one of them for a different reason, but basically it was because they didn't have anyone else they could live with. They were either orphans, thrown out by their families or had been taken away because of various problems. I started out as their foster father and then things developed from there. I just figured it seemed like the right thing to do."

"You sure do have a lot of sons," he remarked. "There are almost as many boys here as there are at the group home where I live."

"Well, I don't think there are that many, but we do have a full house," I agreed. "Are you excited about meeting the couple who might want to adopt you?"

He looked at me and studied my face, but I think he was debating about how honest he should be with me. Once he made up his mind about what he was going to do, he then took time to search for the right words to express his feelings to me. "Well, I am a little excited, cuz I've been hoping for a while that someone would adopt me, but I'm also kinda scared. I mean, I've never met these people before and I just hope they like me and I like them."

"Yes, I can see where this could be very scary for you," I agreed. "I'm sure some of my boys went through similar apprehensions the first day they came here to meet me… well, maybe not Ricky."

"Why wasn't he scared?" Richard wondered.

"It was probably because he already knew me," I explained. "You see, I was the principal at his school when I found out he didn't have any place to go and took him in to live with me. He was my first son, and for a little while, it was just the two of us."

Richard looked over at Ricky, who was watching television and hadn't been listening to our conversation, and spoke to him. "Ricky, you were really lucky to know Mr. Currie before you came here to live," he told him. "That's why you weren't scared, right?"

It took Ricky a few seconds to get the drift of what Richard was saying, but once everything clicked into place, he devised his answer for him. "Who said I wasn't scared? I was terrified," Ricky announced, with an evil grin emerging on his angelic face. "Wouldn't you be scared if they told you that you were going to live with your mean old principal?"

Richard looked startled by that proclamation and I knew he would need some clarification to understand what Ricky meant. "But he isn't mean, is he?" Richard asked.

Ricky's grin broadened. "Oh, I guess you don't know about all the paddles and whips he has in his office at school," he teased. "He uses them on the kids when they get into trouble."

Immediately, Richard whirled in my direction, a look of horror etched upon his face and his mouth hanging open. Pretty soon he heard some of the other boys giggling, so he turned back to look at them. While Richard was trying to figure out what was going on, I thought it time to set the record straight.

"Ok, you little monster," I addressed my Ricky. "I think you're giving our guest the wrong impression here. I don't want him thinking I'm the Marquis de Sade."

"No, I'm not!" Ricky quipped back. "I'm just telling him about the side of you that most people don't get to see." He could hardly keep from laughing as he finished his comment.

"Well then, maybe I should give Richard a demonstration of how this works then, using you as my target." I announced. As I was saying that, I jump up and grabbed Ricky by the arm, pulled him toward me and draped him over my left knee, quickly using my right leg to pin his legs in between. I then placed my left forearm across his back, so he couldn't lift up, and immediately began to smack him playfully on the butt. Ricky began to scream, as if he was being tortured, and he could have been nominated for an Oscar for his realistic portrayal of a victim.

Richard's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw me doing this and I thought his jaw was going to hit the floor. He stayed that way, transfixed and as stiff as a statue, until the other boys began laughing and cheering me on, urging me to give Ricky a real spanking instead. Finally, Richard realized this was all in fun, so he joined the others' chants, urging me to hit Ricky harder and make him hurt for pulling that trick on him. I did give Ricky one real good shot to the butt, one that cracked audibly, and Ricky jumped up and grabbed his backside when I released him.

"I guess I can see I don't have any friends in this house," he screamed. "Not even the new kid."

"Only cuz you were trying to trick me and make me think Mr. Currie was a meanie," Richard informed him.

Ricky feigned a hurt expression on his face. "Well, he is. Didn't he just prove it?" he asked Richard.

"No way. If he was mean, he'd have given you more than one hard smack and your butt would be all red and you wouldn't be able to sit down at all," he confirmed.

"Well, my butt is all red. Want to see?" Ricky began to undo his jeans and Richard's eyes almost bulged completely out of their sockets.

"I think we can do without that," I told him forcefully. "We've already scared the poor kid and there's no sense making him sick by showing him your rear end."

At this point the other boys started teasing Ricky about his ugly butt and Richard was really laughing hard as the other boys continued to rag on Ricky. After letting it continue for a while longer, I finally called a truce, for Ricky's sake, and the boys reluctantly agreed to abide by it. They loved seeing Ricky squirm like this, especially after all the pranks he had played on each of them, and really didn't want to give up this golden opportunity at revenge. They merely did so for Richard's sake. Instead, they started to fill Richard in on Ricky's bag of tricks, to explain why they had been so relentless, and Richard began to laugh again, as the boys relayed some of the tales about the imps of mischief.

When it came time to get ready for bed, I passed the word along that clothing was required tonight, since I wasn't sure if Richard was ready for a nudist convention. When I gave him his choices about where he could sleep and then asked for his preference, I figured he would probably want to bunk in with Ricky, as I had noticed how he had taken to the older blond, after our earlier incident. Instead, he asked if he could sleep with me. This shocked me a little, as was possibly the last choice I would have expected from him, but then I assumed it was because he was in a strange place and wanted to feel protected and safe. I gave in to his request, but only after making sure that this was what he really wanted to do, and then decided I had better turn in when he did too.

After I agreed, I realized I'd forgotten about Pat, who'd been sleeping with me since his accident, but he agreed he'd be all right alone on the sofa-bed in the family room for one night. Although Pat and I had been sharing that space since the Spences had been using my bedroom, John and Margaret had gone to spend the weekend with the Shays, so they could get to know them better and also give us room for our weekend visitors. Before I figure my way out of this dilemma, Dustin offered to sleep with Pat, so he could assist him with whatever he needed during the night.

Pat was the first to gratefully accept his offer, and then I did too, after thanking him for covering for me. However, Dustin seemed most pleased by the fact that he was going to be able to do something special for his brother. Even though the two of them had suffered through a previous fall-out or two, they still felt close to each other and this was his chance to make up for their earlier squabbles.

When we first got into bed, Richard was talking a mile a minute, asking me all kinds of questions. He wanted to know how I found each of my boys and how they came to live with me, but he also managed to slip in more questions about Ricky in between. When he learned all he wanted to, at least for the time being, he said he hoped he was as lucky at finding a nice home and prayed these people were as nice as they sounded. He was somewhat optimistic, as Sally and the staff at the group home had told him a great deal about this couple, and that's why he thought it might work out. He was still a little apprehensive about his first face-to-face meeting with them, which was only normal, but he still clung fiercely to his dream of finally being adopted.

I tried to reassure him about tomorrow and let him know things would work out for the best, no matter what the final outcome was. He still looked a bit nervous, so I reached my arm out toward him, wrapped it around his shoulder and told him everything would be just fine. That simple act seemed to activate some unseen electromagnetic force, which caused Richard to roll on his side and cuddle up tightly against me. He joked a little about my body hair tickling him, so I informed him he didn't have to lie that way if he didn't want to. Somewhat panicked, he quickly advised me he'd be fine and was already getting used to it, before he slung his little arm across my belly.

We lay that way for a little while and then I looked down at him, ready to say something about the morning, when I noticed he was already drifting off to sleep. For that reason, I decided to forgo any more conversation and just gave him a gentle squeeze. I spent the next ten or fifteen minutes watching him give in to his exhaustion, while praying he would find great parents and be as happy as every child had the right to be.

Chapter 17
A Time For Hope

Saturday morning Richard woke me very early, since he was nervous about the possibilities that awaited him. Seeing he probably wasn't about to go back to sleep, I got up with him and we both dressed, before I stripped the old sheets off of the bed and remade it for our anticipated guests. Once that had been completed, I took Richard to the kitchen and fixed him some breakfast. As he sat eating, we chatted some more and waited for the others to stir to life and join us. We were still alone in the dining room talking about what was on his mind when the doorbell rang. I quickly looked at my watch and discovered it wasn't even eight o'clock yet, as I went over to open the door. I was immediately greeted by Richard's prospective parents and quickly realized these farm people really DO get up with the chickens.

They introduced themselves as the Beckers and we shook hands. I called Richard over and introduced him to them, and both adults commented on how glad they were to meet him and what an adorable little chap he was. I don't think this was quite the politically correct thing to say to a young man who was nearly a teenager, but Richard seemed to take it in stride. After the introductions had been made, I suggested the three of them could go into the family room, where they could talk in peace and get to know each other a little better. I wasn't planning on joining them, as I assumed some of my boys might have been awakened by the door chimes and would soon be heading downstairs to see who was here, and I didn't want to disturb their visit with multiple interruptions. Therefore, I excused myself and started to leave.

Richard reacted immediately, letting me know he didn't want me to go and asked me to stay with him, but I explained I'd just be in the other room and everything would be fine. I emphasized they all needed this time to get to know each other better and that could be best accomplished if no one else was there to distract them. Richard still seemed unconvinced by my argument, but after a little more cajoling, he finally relented.

Richard's concerns were probably due, in part, to the fact that Mr. Becker cast a pretty imposing shadow, especially to someone as small as Richard was. No matter how the man looked, I could tell he had a warm heart just by the way he looked at that little boy when they first met. It was as if Mr. Becker had just awakened on Christmas morning and discovered the one present he wanted more than anything else in the world, in this case an adorable son. I learned later that this man was of Dutch descent, but it was his physical size that was so imposing. He stood about 6' 2" and weighed somewhere around 250 pounds [110 kg], but it was all solid muscle. Even the casual onlooker would be impressed by the muscles rippling in his arms and under his colored tee shirt as he moved about, and the sight of him would probably have given a lot of street-wise punks second thoughts before they attacked the likes of him.

Another fact that added to his imposing presence was that he was completely bald, obviously shaved clean for some unknown reason, and had a moustache that he had allowed to grow around the corners of his mouth and stretched down to his chin. When he spoke, he spoke with authority and I recognized almost immediately he was probably very trustworthy and a man of his word. I also got the feeling he was a very gentle giant, after observing how his wife looked at him in such an adoring way, and would have wagered that his bark was much worse than his bite.

His wife was much shorter than him, maybe 5' 7", and what the old-timers would have referred to as a buxom beauty. Even though she was physically attractive, I could tell from her calloused hands and firm handshake that she was a hard worker and probably as valuable as any man on the farm. She had a vibrant and outgoing personality, a musical giggle and a smile that could melt an iceberg. When I peeked in to check on them later, Richard was sitting on the sofa between the couple and everyone was all smiles and talking excitedly.

I gave them another hour before I went back in to speak with them, but primarily to let the adults know they were going to be in my room for the evening and could use it any time they wanted to freshen up or change. I did this to save them the money they would have spent on a motel room and allow them to spend more time with each other. They eventually accepted my offer, but only after some give and take, and only after I agreed to let Mrs. Becker fix tonight's dinner for all of us. This was solely her idea. I think it was part of her upbringing and an attempt to make sure they paid their own way. I finally agreed to her demands, but only if she would allow me to assist her. She consented and was satisfied with the arrangement, but I think she more relieved she'd be able to come up with a way to repay their debt of spending the evening in our home.

I got up to leave again, but everyone urged me to stay, and Richard quickly filled me in on everything he had learned about the Beckers thus far. He told me they were renting a farm, on which they grew various crops, but primarily corn, and he lit up when he told me they also had some pigs, chickens, cows and horses. I could see from the twinkle in his eyes that he liked the idea of having animals around and I could see from the way they interacted with each other that they were already taking a distinct liking to each other.

We chatted a while longer and then Richard asked if he could show them around the house and introduce them to the other boys. I told him to go ahead, but not to get lost, which was my little joke about how large this place could seem to outsiders. Richard looked at me funny at first and then he started to laugh, saying 'that was a good joke, Mr. Currie'.

After introducing them to my sons, who were up and slowly moving about, Richard led them away. They were probably gone more than an hour and I was beginning to wonder what had happened to them, when they came back into the family room to join me. They quickly filled me in on what they had been up to and commented about what they had seen. Richard had given them a tour of the whole house, including the attic bedrooms, and the couple was very impressed by the size of the house, the number of boys I had, and how well behaved and basically neat they were. They had said 'basically neat' because I did have a couple of boys who tended to be slobs at times and I wondered about how their rooms must have looked on this occasion. However, I suspected the Beckers were trying to be polite and diplomatic by downplaying what they saw.

Over the next several minutes, we talked about many different things and quickly changed from one topic to another. Even though there was hardly ever a lull in our conversation, I could tell they wanted to ask me a question, but apparently didn't want to do it in front of Richard. Picking up on this, I suggested to Richard that he should go hang out with the other boys for a while, so we adults could spend some time together too. He didn't give it a second thought and raced off to find my sons, although I would be willing to bet that I'd find him with Ricky later, when I went to look for him.

As soon as Richard left the room, Mr. Becker turned to me and spoke. "Thank you, but how did you know we wished to speak to you in private?"

"When you have as many children as I do, you learn to pick up on the non-verbal signals too," I advised him.

He looked at his wife and grinned. "I guess we're going to have to learn to do that too," he told her, before turning toward me and continuing our conversation. "When we first came here, we were a little worried that we might be biting off more than we could chew, by taking on a teenager. We had really wanted a younger child to begin with, but after seeing you and all of your boys, we're more at ease now. In fact, now we're even considering telling Mrs. Swarthout we might be willing to take on a second boy, so Richard won't be alone and would have someone to help keep him company. We do live pretty far out and there aren't many neighbors."

"That's terrific," I responded. "I bet Richard would probably enjoy having someone else close to his own age and Sally will be thrilled at the prospect of having a home for another boy, but I think you should take some time to get to know each other first, before you make that decision. If you do adopt Richard, you'll need to spend some time adjusting to living together and learning each other's idiosyncrasies. After you've had a chance to bond, then you might ask him what he would think of that idea and take it from there."

"You're probably right," Mr. Becker replied. "I guess seeing all these boys and watching how well they got along with each other just caused us to go a little overboard."

"Oh, I'm not saying you're going overboard, I am just advising to go slowly and not rush into anything," I encouraged. "I think you'd all do well with taking on a second child, but I think you'll need to get comfortable with each other first. Things happened kind of quickly for us, and I sometimes regret that, as I didn't have time to get to know each of my sons as well as I'd have liked, before the next boy joined us. It was just that Sally had boys who needed a home then and there, so I didn't have the luxury of waiting. I'm very blessed things have worked as well as they have and we've only had to suffer through a few problems, but I think it would have been even better if I'd had time to get to know them all a little better first. That's why I wouldn't advise anyone to move as quickly as I did. I guess my biggest advantage was that I worked with children all day long and had a pretty good understanding of what I was getting into." We all smiled at each other at this point, and I saw them relax considerably.

"He is an adorable child, and so small for his age," Mrs. Becker stated. "I think my husband and I are already looking forward to taking him in, if that's what he wants."

"Oh, I think he's taken a shine to you too," I confided, using lingo they would identify with. "I could see it on his face and in his eyes when you were in here by yourselves. I peeked in a couple of times, to see how things were going, and it truly looked as if you were all enjoying yourselves. I think after a few more visits, the three of you will have a pretty good idea of what you're going to do."

"I really didn't know what to expect," Mr. Becker said, "when they told me they had a boy who was nearly thirteen. I guess I was thinking he'd be nearly growed and maybe a tad bit of trouble to boot. I didn't expect to meet this somewhat small, sweet-faced boy who is eager to please."

"Yes," I responded, "he really is a special young man. I've only met him twice before myself, and I'm pretty taken by him too. He certainly can worm his way into your heart in a very short time."

His wife giggled and looked at me. "That's almost exactly the same words I whispered to my husband when we were alone for a second upstairs. I think I've fallen in love with the little devil already."

"I could tell that by just looking at the three of you together," I confirmed. "I think I've seen an almost instant bonding here, but you've got the rest of this weekend and the next to make certain of it."

"And we're both looking forward to it," Mrs. Becker added.

"Just out of curiosity, is someone taking care of your farm while you're away?" I wanted to know.

"Yes, our hired man and the hired man from the farm next to ours are taking care of everything for us. We offered them extra money if they'd do this favor for us."

"Well, the charity will cover that cost for you and I'm also going to contact the landowner to renegotiate your rent for you. Sally explained to me that it wasn't easy for you to get by and I think I might be able to use some leverage I have to get you a little better deal. It just so happens that I know your landlord and had his children in school a few years ago. In fact, he still owes me a favor or two, for some things we were able to do for them at the time.

"I'm not sure if you know this or not, but he's lived in this area most of his life and only bought that property on a hunch about thirty years ago. He was under the impression the state was going to construct a new highway across that land and concluded the farm would be a good spot to locate an exit that would give access to the nearby communities. He thought he could make a killing selling some of the land back to the state and the rest of it to businesses that would want to set up shop there. However, the plans for the highway fell through when the state went through some budget problems, so he decided to recoup some of his investment by renting out the various properties. I think he owns several of the farms around you."

"Yes. You are correct about that," Mr. Becker acknowledged. "My neighbors and I all rent the land and buildings from him. It's the only way most of us could have afforded to get into farming in this day and age, since it can be quite an expensive investment to purchase a working farm. The funny thing is that he bought that particular farm from my wife's family, before we were married. A few years later, after they had passed away, we used her inheritance from them to buy the farm machinery we would need to make a go of it. We hoped some day we might be able to buy the place back from him and then leave it to our children. Unfortunately, the good Lord has not seen fit to let my wife get pregnant, so that's why we're adopting."

"Although it may seem harsh or even cruel that you could not have your own children, this may be God's way of letting you have a family after all. Like our minister told one of my sons after his accident, 'when God closes a door, he often opens a window.' This may be your window, so make the best of it." They nodded in agreement and I knew they understood my message.

The afternoon was now nearly behind us, so Mrs. Becker suggested it was time for her to start fixing dinner. I told her I'd show her around, while I also gave her a hand, and then quickly informed her about what meats I had in the freezer. She quickly decided to use the chicken and make chicken and biscuits, so I thawed the meat in the sink, while she told me what items she would need to put this together. As the chicken thawed, I rounded up the items she needed and gave them to her when she asked for them. She did everything from scratch – no shortcuts or mixes for her. She seemed puzzled concerning my intimate knowledge of the kitchen and the ease I showed while helping her. She gave me a curious little glance, as if she didn't think a man should be that proficient, so I asked her, "Who do you think cooks for my family?"

"I guess I just figured you had a cook working for you or you ordered out," she responded. "Do you mean you prepare all of the meals yourself?"

"Not entirely," I confessed. "The boys have been helping me and are getting quite good at preparing a wide variety of dishes." This announcement caused her to display a look of shock, before she regained her composure.

"I'm impressed," she stated, simply. "The men I've known would all have starved to death without a woman to fix their food for them, even with a pantry full of supplies and a smokehouse full of meat."

"I often helped my wife fix the meals when our children were growing up, although it wasn't as enjoyable to do it just for myself, after she died," I admitted. "It's just too hard cooking for one, so I ate most of my meals out during that time. After I got my first boy, I started preparing the meals again and I've been doing it ever since."

"Good for you," she responded, emphatically. "I wish there were more men who didn't consider the kitchen a woman's world and think it demeaning to do anything there."

"Well, I don't think any of my boys will feel that way," I assured her, which seemed to also please her. I think she could now see herself teaching Richard how to fix meals too and considered he might not be spending all of his time with her husband.

Soon the house began to fill with the aromatic smells of a good homemade meal and the boys began racing into the kitchen area to find out what we were going to have to eat and when. I asked a couple of them to set the table, which they did with more enthusiasm than I'd seen in some time, and soon we were sitting down to partake of one of the most incredible meals we've had in a very long time.

Mrs. Becker could work miracles with an oven, a few bowls and some raw ingredients – she was a culinary genius. Each of the boys raved about her cooking, in between cramming their mouths full with her savory delights, and this praise seemed to make her glow. The boys happily pointed out that her biscuits were golden, flaky, and very tasty, and the chicken was moist and just melted in their mouths. I think everyone had at least seconds, and some even came back for thirds, and I told her I was impressed with her ability to feed so many.

At that point she burst into laughter and informed me she was one of ten children and had learned to cook feeding her siblings, her parents and several hired hands, most of whom could pack away more than my boys. She said her biggest adjustment was in learning to cook for only her husband, their hired man and herself. We all laughed at that, but I knew she had scored some more points with Richard because of her down-home cooking. Food is not only the way to a man's heart, but a growing boy's too.

After dinner, I took everyone to the movies, knowing this would be a rare treat for the Beckers. I let Richard and the Beckers pick out what they wanted to see, and they debated over it for quite some time before settling on something. They ended up choosing the film 'Gladiator,' which was full of action and suspense. Each of us had a great time, although the realism could sometimes be a bit much for some of the boys to handle. Richard sat between the Beckers, but sometimes I saw him sitting on the lap of one or the other, whenever the storyline became a bit intense. By the end of the movie, Richard was cuddled up against Mr. Becker's chest, which helped to calm his fears from the more graphic parts of the film and offered him a bit of security. As I observed them, I noted each seemed to be enjoying this special moment. It was a very touching scene and just another example of how close they were already becoming.

That night, the Beckers shared my room, while Pat and I slept on the sofa-bed in the family room. Richard decided to spend the night with my monster Ricky and sharing Pat's room in the attic. Nothing went on between them, but they did get to know each other a little better, and in Richard's case, the hero worship was beginning to dig its claws even deeper.

Sunday morning, we enjoyed a big old farm breakfast, with Mrs. Becker assisting me in the kitchen. The boys were stuffed by the time they needed to start getting ready for church, and I asked the Backers if they'd care to join us. They jumped at the chance and quickly advised us they were a deeply religious family. I told them we were too, which they said they had noticed, and happily got ready and followed us down to the church. We all sat together during the service, with Richard tucked cozily between the couple on the pew.

Today's sermon just happened to be entitled 'Living as God's People,' and the minister talked about living a life filled with Christian virtues, such as loving, caring, sharing and faith. As I listened to the pastor preach from his heart, I realized the people who best exemplified this concept were spending the weekend with us. If there was a couple 'living as God's people', it had to be the Beckers. After coming to this conclusion, I began to wonder if God had suggested this topic to our minister during one of his prayer sessions or if it just happened to be another miraculous 'coincidence.' I guess I'll never know.

When the service ended, we all went back to our place to change, before heading out to spend the day at the park. The boys were in charge of the activities and organized many different things to do, but they always found a way to include us adults in on each event. Over the course of the day, the Beckers got a chance to play kickball, for the first time since they were also children, go for a boat ride, as we rowed rented boats over the large pond/small lake that was at the heart of the park, and then participated in a game of 'capture the flag' with the rest of us. This wasn't just a little game, as you might have expected. Instead, the boys put the flags (which were two of the boys shirts tied to a branch and driven into the ground) on either side of the small, forested area. They chose to do it this way so they could use the cover of the trees to sneak up and take the flag from their opponents.

The game lasted for over an hour; with each team setting up many diversions and taking many prisoners, until finally one team captured the other team's flag and made it back safely to their own area again. Most of us were quite tired by the time it was over, so we dragged our weary carcasses back to our vehicles, eager for the chance to catch our breath and return to the house. When we arrived at our place, I immediately urged everyone to clean up and change again, but this time so I could take us all out to eat. I wanted to do this before the Beckers had to return to their farm, so they could enjoy it with us. Once everyone was ready, we went to our favorite restaurant and had a wonderful meal.

When it was over and we were back at the house, the Beckers collected their things and said good-bye to each of us, so they could reach their home before it got too late. Before they departed, we gave them a chance to say their good-byes with Richard in private, but we all knew we'd see each other again the following weekend.

After they left and things began to settle back into our normal routine, Richard came to find me, so we could sit and talk for a while. He asked me if he could sleep with me again tonight and I told him he could, and then he started to tell me how he felt the weekend had gone. He explained that he liked the Beckers a lot and thanked me for helping him to find them and showing them such a wonderful time. Once he had done that, he made a small request.

"Mr. Currie, I really like you a lot and told Ricky that last night," he informed me. "I told Ricky I felt like I was almost part of your family too, but wished there was a way I could show it. Ricky said I might feel closer to everyone if I called you Uncle Josh, but I wasn't sure what you'd think about that." He hesitated briefly, before he continued. "Would you mind if I called you that?"

"Not at all," I assured him. "In fact, I'd love to have you do that." This caused Richard to smile and I knew we now had new additions to our extended family.

When we went to sleep that evening, Richard slept with me, and Pat slept with Dustin on the sofa-bed again. Tonight, however, Dustin wasn't just there to help Pat get around. "Pat, how long has it been since you've got your rocks off?" Dustin asked him.

"Other than whacking it a few times in the bathroom when I was finally by myself, hardly at all," he admitted.

"Well, even though neither of us is really gay, I thought maybe you might enjoy a little help tonight," Dustin offered. "I'm game, if you are."

"Yeah, that sounds great," Pat agreed. "It's been a while since I've really enjoyed doing anything and I think it might be nice." Pat hesitated for a few seconds, before he continued. "I'm just kind of surprised you're the one to offer."

It wasn't clear if Dustin was hurt by that comment, but he managed to slough it off if he was. After all, he did realize where that was coming from. "Pat, I know we haven't always been close and we had our differences," he said sincerely, "but I'm sorry about what happened and feel really dumb I'd ever let it get that far. After all, we're brothers and she wasn't even that nice, as we both found out later."

"Yeah, I think she liked having us fight over her," Pat agreed.

"I think she might have also had a part in making it happened," Dustin offered, after which each of them thought about things she told them which seemed to aggravate the situation.

"You also know I used to be really close with Kevin and didn't mind doing stuff with him," Dustin went on, "but I couldn't see us being together forever either. I don't mind getting off with other guys, because it still feels good, and I don't mind returning the favor. So, if you want, I'm willing to help you tonight too."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Pat agreed, "but who goes first?"

"I'll do you first," Dustin offered, "and then you can do me, but only if you really want to."

"Of course," Pat agreed. "I wouldn't leave you with blue balls after you were nice enough to help me out." Dustin chuckled over that comment.

"Thanks. I appreciate that," he confirmed.

Now that they had reached an agreement, Dustin bent over and began stroking, and then sucking, on Pat's somewhat neglected member. It immediately sprang to life and seemed anxious to play, so it wasn't long before Dustin noticed the telltale signs of his impending orgasm. Since Dustin wasn't overly found of swallowing a load, he pulled off when he felt Pat was about to squirt and then stroked him to completion. Pat was panting and covered in his own juices, since it had been a while since he'd emptied his nuts, so Dustin went to get a towel to wipe him off, while Pat recuperated.

When Dustin came back, he started wiping up the mess and then Pat spoke. "Thanks, that felt great and made me realize I can still do things like this with you guys. I guess I figured I should sit these things out for now, which seems silly now. If you're ready, I'll return the favor."

Dustin said he was, so Pat began to grope around until he located Dustin's penis and began to pleasure him. Slowly, he stroked Dustin to hardness and then bent forward and guided it into his mouth. He couldn't understand why he thought he'd be unable to do things like this before and enjoyed learning that he could still have sexual contact with the others and it wouldn't be very different than before. It's just that he would have to feel his way around more, but he was certain none of the others would mind that.

While he'd been thinking about such things, Pat hadn't been aware of how quickly he was bringing Dustin off too, until he began to feel Dustin thrusting his hips at him, as he neared the brink. Although Pat wasn't overly fond of swallowing loads either, he took Dustin's ejaculation into his mouth, but spit it into the towel later, after Dustin's nuts had been completely drained.

After Dustin thanked Pat for returning the favor, the two boys settled in and went to sleep. Unlike some of the others, they didn't cuddle after they finished, but rolled over and went to sleep instead. They were only willing to help each other find relief and didn't see any need for any after-play or making out.

Unaware of what was going on in the living room, Richard and I hopped into bed. We hadn't been there very long before I felt him inching his way over, almost as if he didn't think I'd notice what he was up to, if he did it slowly enough. It wasn't long before he was cuddled up beside me again. I heard him giggle a few times, but he didn't make any comments about my body hair tickling him this time. It wasn't long after I heard his last giggle that I could discern the gentle and even sounds of his breathing, so I knew he had fallen asleep. He was obviously worn out from a weekend full of activity and discoveries.

Monday morning Sally showed up while we were eating breakfast, so she could take Richard back. While she was there, Sally inquired about how things had gone and was pleased by what she heard. After Richard finished chowing down, Sally loaded him and his belongings into her car. She would leave him at his school and then take his belongings over to the group home and drop them off, before she returned to work. I think we were all looking forward to his return visit the following weekend.

Chapter 18
The Fighter, the Player and the Orphan

Monday evening, I finally got a chance to spend time with my boys and discuss the weekend with them, so I could get their take on how things went. I was thinking in terms of Richard and the Beckers, but soon discovered not everyone was focused solely upon them.

Dustin was more than eager to fill me in on some of Pat's accomplishments over the weekend, events I had not heard about until now. It seemed that Pat had managed to maneuver on his own, from the family room to the downstairs bathroom, and use the facilities during the evening, without having to wake Dustin and ask for his assistance. Pat even went to the kitchen, got a glass from the cupboard and got himself a drink during the night too. Although these may seem like small accomplishments to the rest of us, these were major leaps for Pat.

Obviously, Pat had made up his mind that it was time to be independent again and not let his blindness defeat him, so this was a major sign that he was healing emotionally and psychologically, as well as physically. I immediately wondered if it had anything to do with our earlier visit to the school for the blind, but felt Pat would fill me in about it when he was ready.

As it turned out, I was right, because later that evening Pat asked to speak with me. He began by informing me that he was reconsidering Dustin's earlier offer, to have him stay with him on the second floor, and announced he felt he might be ready to tackle the stairs and move out of my room. We talked about this in more detail privately, until I was convinced that his motives were appropriate and he was prepared to take this step. After he explained how he and Dustin had been getting along, and how they had helped each other get some relief the other night too, I gave him my blessing to give it a try, with the appropriate words of caution to go along with it. I advised him to be extra careful whenever he was around the stairs and to make certain which wall he was using at night as his reference point, as it would make a difference in understanding where he was and in avoiding accidents.

Pat beamed from ear to ear when I gave him my approval and made his way to me so he could give me a hug, before he left the room, under his own power. From there he went to tell the other boys about this change.

Later that same evening, I got some other news, but this was of a more disturbing nature. It was after dinner when Brent approached me and filled me in about some things he overheard at school. It seems that Nick had been hitting on other students at school and having sexual encounters with them in the boys' rooms, locker room and in secluded outdoor locations. Brent explained that one of the boys he was becoming friends with asked him about Nick and wanted to know if Nick was really like that, as he was considering letting Nick suck him off. Brent said he did tell the boy that Nick did seem to have a big sexual appetite and that Nick had made him similar offers as well. I was just finding out that Nick had made his way to Brent's room shortly after he arrived, looking for a little action.

From what Brent told me, he and Nick had gotten it on a couple of times, and when Brent told this other boy that, the boy said he was going to let Nick do him. Brent said he didn't mind so much what Nick was doing, but he was more concerned about Kevin and how Kevin would take the news if he ever found out. Brent had heard all the stories about the rough times Kevin went through with Dustin and didn't want to see Kevin have to endure something like that again.

I thanked him for filling me in on what was happening, so I'd be ready to be there for Kevin if he did find out about any of this, but it would also allow me an opportunity to talk to Nick about his actions, before it became a problem. Brent ended our conversation by saying he really liked Kevin and didn't want to see him get hurt again, but felt it would happen, if he stayed with Nick. I told him I would try to cushion the blow for Kevin, but there wasn't much any of us could do at this point to protect him completely. He nodded his understanding, but quickly added it still bothered him anyway.

Later, as the boys were getting ready for bed, I asked Nick if I could speak with him alone, so we went into my room for some privacy. "Nick, I've been hearing some stories that you're on the prowl again and having sex with boys outside the family. Would you like to fill me in on what's been going on?"

There was a shocked expression on his face, as he had obviously thought he was being very careful and discreet along the way. As he attempted to answer, he began to stutter. "Well… a… I was… uh… who… uh… who told you?"

"I do have my sources," was all I replied. "Did you forget that I work for the same school district you attend and have many friends, associates and former students who confide in me?"

"Well… a… no… I didn't forget. I just… well… uh… didn't think … well… you know… that anyone else… uh… knew."

"Nick, I'm sure you're aware this isn't a large city and everyone here seems to know everyone else's business," I explained. "People see and hear things, and then talk to their friends about what is going on. It's very hard, if not impossible, to keep a secret in a small town like this. We've been fortunate so far, as the boys have kind of kept their activities confined to our home, so people have only been able to suspect that some of them are gay, but they've had nothing substantial to move beyond the speculation stage. However, you are doing it with others outside of the family and some of them are bound to talk. Besides, you're also doing it at school and on school grounds, and there is a chance that you will get caught or people will see you meeting with these boys at various places and speculate about what you're up to. That's bound to get tongues wagging around here."

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, somewhat concerned.

"Not mad, just disappointed that you can't seem to keep that thing in your pants or allow others to do the same," I responded. "We've discussed about going outside the family before and I really expected you'd talk this over with me first, or at least let me know what you were thinking about doing, before you began including non-family members in your sex-capades."

"What's that suppose to mean?" he shot back, either because he was confused about why I thought that way or was shocked I assumed he should confide his intentions to me.

"Nick, I've been well aware that you're one of those boys who's not happy with just one partner and prefer doing different things with different people," I began, "but in this day and age it's just not wise or safe. I can't say I totally understand why you're like that, but I've known other guys, both straight and gay, who felt the same way. However, such actions not only set you up to be assaulted by those who don't like gays, but they also perpetuate the stereotype that all gays are promiscuous. Not only that, but you also substantially increase your risk of acquiring an STD or even being exposed to the AIDS virus."

"I know about that stuff," he countered, "and I've been using rubbers whenever I'm doing things with other guys."

"That's good, and I'm glad you're being careful," I countered, "but that's not enough. Condoms are good for reducing the risk of being exposed to some STDs, but they're not foolproof. Not only can they rupture, but it's also been suggested that the latex used to make them can contain defects large enough for the AIDS virus to penetrate. This means using prophylactics just isn't enough…"

He cut me off. "Then what should I do?" he asked, concerned.

"What you need to do is learn how to control you lust and confine your actions to a few limited individuals," I replied. "You're not just placing yourself in jeopardy by your actions, but you're also exposing everyone in this household."

"And how am I doing that?" he questioned.

"By exposing yourself to such things with other partners," I explained. "If you happened to catch anything, you would carry whatever diseases you'd pick up back to the house, and then when you did something with one of the others, they'd unwittingly pick it up from you. Then, in turn, they would spread it to those they had contact with within the family, and before you know it, all of you boys could come down with something terrible and I could lose you all." I must have had tears in my eyes at this point, because Nick seemed shocked that I was so emotional about this topic.

"Look, I'll be okay and I'll be extra careful from now on," he informed me. "I don't want to hurt any of you."

"What about Kevin?" I countered. "What's going to happen to him when he finds out you've been messing around with other boys?"

"You're not going to tell him, are you?" Nick challenged, while looking deeply worried that I might.

"No, I'm not going to say anything to him," I replied, which caused Nick to relax briefly, "but he's going to find out on his own, sooner or later. I think some of the other boys might already have heard the rumors or have their own suspicions about what you're up to. I can't tell you how devastating it will be to Kevin, since he's already had his heart broken once, and as you probably know, Kevin's a one-lover sort of guy. He is only capable of loving one person at a time, and when he does, he loves them very deeply and gives his heart completely."

"I know and I tried not to hurt him. I really did," Nick admitted. "I do like Kevin more than anyone else I've ever been with, but… well… it's just that… well… sometimes… uh… I just get this itch… to do it with somebody else… and, well… then it's like… uh… well, I have to scratch it… you know… before it drives me nuts."

"I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you are taking some precautions," I replied, "but I think you should find a way to tell Kevin and let him down as gently as you can, unless you are willing to control these 'itches.' You can talk it over with me first, if you want me to try to help you figure out what to say to him, but I think you'll need to do this and do it soon, before he finds out about it on his own."

"Yeah, I know you're right, but I don't want to hurt him," Nick reasoned.

"I think it's kind of late to prevent that," I countered. "Once he finds out what you've been up to, he will definitely be hurt and it will be very hard for him to accept it or look at you the same way again. I just want to make this as painless for him as we can."

"But how can I tell him, especially after Valentine's Day?" Nick challenged. "He acts like we got engaged or something that night."

"I know he did think it was a sign that you really wanted to be with just him," I acknowledged, "but that doesn't change what still needs to be done. You'll have to find a way to break this to him as gently as you can."

"I don't know how I'll be able to do that, so I'm really going to need your help." I agreed and we talked a while longer, but were unable to come up with a definite plan. However, we did make some progress in that direction.

The rest of the week was also filled with many highs and lows. Pat was becoming more independent and handling the stairs and the second floor better than I anticipated, and he was also doing well with his tutors. In fact, he had even discussed the possibility with them about attending regular classes again and asked if they'd help him talk me into going along with the idea. They had even discuss ways Pat could pull this off by suggesting ideas such as recording his notes on a portable cassette recorder, so he could replay them later, when he needed to study. He would need an assortment of different cassettes, so he would not have to use them for more than one class, but would also have enough to hold his notes for the remainder of the school year. However, he still needed to work out a way for him to get around the school and move from one class to the next class, especially in the crowded hallways where everyone seemed to unconsciously bump into or jostle everyone else.

In the end, the tutors suggested Pat would probably also do better if he could socialize with his friends and peers again and not feel so isolated. One of his tutors even told me in private that if I agreed to this idea and the school was willing to go along with our plan, he would be willing to find someone to accompany Pat to all of his classes and then he'd come around each evening, to help Pat with his homework, if that's what the two of us thought was best. I told him we'd all have to talk this over in greater detail, to make sure we had thought everything through and considered all of the ramifications before we acted. I didn't want to give Pat more than he could handle or rush him into things, but I also didn't want him to feel like an outcast. The tutor said he understood and we would all move forward cautiously.

Sometime later, Nick and I discussed his situation again and tossed around some ideas about how he could best bring Kevin up to speed about what he'd been up to, without scarring Kevin permanently. We considered many ways to do this, but rejected most of them rather quickly, for one reason or another. After much talk and many suggestions, I think we'd finally agreed on how and what Nick would tell Kevin. The question was when and where.

Nick really didn't want to do this alone and wanted me there when he told Kevin, but I explained to him that I thought it best if he told Kevin on his own. That would leave me to be there to comfort Kevin afterward and not give him reason to focus on the fact that I had known about this, but never mentioned it to him. I was afraid if we told him together, Kevin would feel I was part of the problem and then refuse to let me help him get through this crisis when he needed me most. I think Nick gradually understood my point and reluctantly agreed to do this on his own.

Nick also told me he wanted to wait until he felt the time was right before he broke the news to Kevin. I felt he was taking a greater risk by doing it that way, and felt there would never be a GOOD time to do it, so I tried to encourage him to tell Kevin as soon as he could. I understood Nick was nervous about confronting Kevin and concerned about breaking his heart by acknowledging he had let him down, but I believed it would be worse if Kevin heard this news from someone else. Nick was still hoping he would be able to do it when Kevin was in a good mood, rather than when he was already depressed about something else, since it might not affect him as badly. I did kind of feel for Nick's plight too, because I knew he had tried to make this work, but was unable to remain monogamous with Kevin for more than just a few months.

My biggest problem was, I couldn't spend all my time focusing on just that situation, to the exclusion of everything else, since so much more was going on too. I was also trying to deal with Pat's requests and helping him deal with his condition as best he could, but I was also involved in preparing for Richard and the Beckers returning this weekend. Although I wished I had sufficient time to deal with each of these situations on an individual basis, the reality of life was that I had to do the best I could juggling everything at the same time.

On Friday, Sally dropped Richard off for the second of his weekend visits with the Beckers, whom I expected would arrive bright and early the next morning. Ricky was more at ease for this visit and involved with more of the boys than just Ricky. This time around, I saw him doing things with Andrew, Sammy, Graham, Cole and Dion too, since they were also the ones closest to his age. However, after dinner he came up to me hurriedly, with a matter of great importance to discuss.

"Uncle Josh, I've been thinking all week about this and I need to tell you something," he began. "I just don't feel right calling you Uncle Josh… I mean, it just doesn't seem right for me to be using your first name like that. I also don't think I'd feel right calling you Pop either, like some of the other boys told me to do."

"Well, what WOULD you like to call me?" I asked, having run out of ideas on this matter.

"Well, I did think of something, if it was all right with you," he answered. "Would you mind if I called you Uncle Pop?"

I looked at him for a minute, thinking this combination odd, but then I began to like the sound of it. After a few seconds of thinking about it, I told him that would be fine and I loved his suggested. A huge grin spread across his face, almost running from ear-to-ear, and then he looked up at me and spoke. "Yeah, I liked it too and it will be something special for just the two of us, okay?"

"You bet, sport. I like that a lot," I concurred. My response seemed to make his day and settle how he would refer to me from then on.

The next morning the Beckers arrived just after the crack of dawn, at least it seemed that way to the rest of us. They didn't come empty handed, however, and brought in several bags of goodies with them. Mrs. Becker went straight to the kitchen and announced she'd be preparing breakfast for everyone. I knew it would be useless to argue, so I just asked her if she minded if I helped. She agreed and put me to work for her.

In one of her bags, she had me get out a container of last summer's homemade apple butter, straight from her freezer, and several jars of homemade jams she had prepared herself. She explained she had brought one container each of strawberry, blueberry, currant and grape jam, because she wasn't sure what the boys and I preferred. I thanked her for her consideration and set the items on the dining room table, so the boys could use them on their toast later.

From the next bag she pulled out a package containing ham slices, another containing strips of bacon and then an assortment of potatoes, which she quickly began to cut up for home fries. The third bag contained cartons filled with eggs from their chickens and she set these out on the counter, until she learned how the boys wanted their eggs done. As the ham, bacon and home fries began to cook and the smells wafted through the house, the boys began to emerge from their rooms, drawn by the wonderful smells and driven by their rumbling stomachs.

Mrs. Becker cooked their eggs to order and was very generous with the ham, bacon and home fries. I kept busy throwing eight slices of bread at a time into our two four-slice toasters, before buttering and taking them out to the troops. The toast disappeared as quickly as I could get the slices to the table and the jams were being applied generously before being consumed. Mrs. Becker seemed in her glory feeding all of the boys and watching them devour her creations, but then she made me go sit down too and made certain I had all I could hold. Finally she and her husband joined us at the table, since they waited to be the last two to sit down to eat, and I watched as Richard got up from his place and moved over to stand between them, talking and laughing with them while they ate. I could recognize this was a sincere gesture on his part and not just an attempt at sucking-up to his possible 'rents, and seeing his affection for them touched me deeply.

After breakfast, the Beckers asked Richard if he would like them to take him to their farm today, and then they could spend the weekend there. Richard seemed excited by the idea, but he looked at me, wondering what he should do. I think he was afraid he'd hurt our feeling if they left and probably suspected I had plans for us all, which I did, but nothing that couldn't be put off until another time.

"Uncle Pop, do you think it would be all right if I went to their farm?" he asked me, in order to give me a say in the situation.

"I certainly do," I quickly responded, "and it will be a great opportunity for all of you to get to know each other even better. You run along and have a good time, and the boys and I will clean up here." Richard ran over to give me a hug and say good-bye, before he did the same with all of the boys. It seemed as if he gave Ricky a very special hug too, before he and the Beckers went out and got in their car and drove off. Mr. Becker had informed me he would bring Richard back fairly early Sunday evening, so they could get back home by dark. I said that would be fine and waved at them as they drove off.

That altered our weekend plans, at least as far as the activities I had planned to accommodate Richard and the Beckers. However, it worked out to our advantage. Now, the boys and I could take it easy for the rest of the day and could spend our time preparing for Dustin's birthday party tomorrow, which we had planned to kick off with dinner tomorrow evening. He was turning eighteen and would be heading off to college in the fall, so it was a very important event, at least in my eyes.

The rest of Saturday turned out to be just another normal time for us and there was nothing remarkable about it. The boys and I merely kicked back and concentrated on things we hadn't been able to deal with while everything else was going on, as well as our upcoming event. As it turned out, it proved to be a very productive time for us, so I guess change isn't always so bad after all.

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