Bill W

A Place in My Heart

Chapter 1
My Special Friend

Jordan had been in my life for as long as I could remember. In fact, I don't think there was ever a time when he wasn't there with me. My earliest memories of him were when we were both around three years old. Our families lived down the street from each other, just four houses apart, and my parents would babysit for Jordan and his brother, Justin, when their parents wanted to go out or just needed to spend some quiet time alone.

It was around this same time that my mother went back to work, because our family was having problems paying the bills on just my father's salary. Jordan's mother, on the other hand, was always a 'stay at home' mom. His family was financially better off than ours, especially after his father started his own business, Koontz Construction Company. You see, since Jordan's father had negotiated and handled many of the contacts when he was foreman for his previous employer, people were willing to give him an opportunity to see what he could do on his own. His business took off quickly, seeing he was known for his exceptional work, and his company was now doing very well.

Anyway, my mom went back to work, and I was dropped off at a babysitter near her job. A month or two later, Joan, Jordan's mother, offered to take care of me at no charge. Even though my mother was interested in her offer, she wouldn't allow her to do it without getting some reimbursement. After discussing this at great length, they finally agreed that Jordan's mother would watch me for half the amount that my mom was paying the other sitter. It was a win-win situation. My family saved money, plus Joan and John had some extra cash, which they agreed to put into the boys' college fund. It also meant my best friend and I would be able to spend most of our time together.

If you hadn't happened to notice this already, Jordan's mom had this alliteration thing about names. Hence the family was comprised of Joan, John, Jordan and Justin. Hell, even the cat was included in this naming process and ended up being called Jewel. It's weird, but that's the way his mom wanted it and Jordan's dad didn't argue the point.

Jordan and I were basically inseparable and did everything together. We ate, played and even took baths together. When we stayed at each other's house, we even slept together. Our parents used to joke that we were attached at the hip and this closeness only grew stronger as we got older. When we turned five, we went to the same school and throughout elementary school we were always in the same class. Of course, this meant we ate lunch side-by-side and played together on the playground nearly every day. Oh, life was wonderful!

When we got old enough to sign up for organized sports, we always made sure we ended up on the same teams too. One wouldn't join unless the other one was included. This generally wasn't a problem, because we were both fairly good at sports and the coaches wanted us on their teams. The only exception to this rule was when we played pick-up games in the neighborhood. Since we happened to be the two best athletes among our group of friends, they would always make Jordan and me the captains, to keep us from being on the same team. This started our friendly little competition, which only grew as we did.

When we hit middle school, the amount of time we were able to spend together began to change, although not by choice. Seeing Jordan was very bright, he ended up in the advanced classes, while I was just an average student, so I was placed in the regular classes. For the first time that either of us could remember, we weren't together. With the exception of lunch and PE we hardly ever saw each other during the school day, so we made lunch period our special time together. We used this opportunity to tell each other about everything that was going in our lives while we ate. We'd talk about our classes and teachers, which of the other guys in our grade were cool and we would talk about our upcoming practices and games.

We'd also talk about the girls in our class. We'd discuss which ones we thought were the hottest, and thus worthy our attention. By the time we were in seventh grade – that wonderful time of sexual awareness, sexual adventure and first dates – we took full advantage of our reputations as athletes. In my case, being friends with Jordan didn't hurt either. All of the girls thought he was the cutest guy in our class, so he always had his pick of the litter, so to speak.

Being his friend meant that a lot of the cute girls were also willing to go out with me too, just so they could get close to Jordan, since we usually double-dated. Trust me, I was well aware of the fact that he was the reason I rarely got turned down when asking a girl out on a date, but I didn't really mind. Jordan was my best friend and I didn't care that he was better looking than me or more popular. It was due to our friendship that I was able to go out with the best-looking girls and even got a reputation as being a lady's man. I reveled in the fact that you could always find the two of us with a group of good-looking, popular girls.

Maybe it would help if I gave you a quick description of us. By the time we were in seventh grade, Jordan was a 5' 5" [165 cm], blond haired, blue-eyed god, with a real firm, athletic build. He wasn't overly muscular, like one of those bodybuilders, but he had a set of well-developed muscles on every square inch of his body, which had been fine-tuned from playing sports. He also had a gorgeous face, with really great features, such as steely blue eyes that sparkled with his charm, velvety smooth, golden tanned skin that didn't have a single blemish, as well as a beautiful smile that was accented by his dazzling white, perfectly straight teeth. In addition to all of his other great qualities, the girls rated his pert, firm, bubble butt as the best in the class.

He also had a great personality, a great sense of humor and was very outgoing. He was one of those people that God overly endowed with all of the best qualities. You just knew he was going to have a great life and be the one with a fantastic job, earn lots of money, have a gorgeous wife and great kids, plus own a huge house and nice cars – the very best of everything. How can God give some people so much and others so little? I didn't mind though, because he was my best bud.

I, on the other hand, was a little taller than Jordan, at 5'8" [172.7 cm], with black hair, hazel eyes and a fairly muscular body, again from playing sports. I'd been told I was handsome, but compared to Jordan I was just the plain Jane at the dance. Everyone told me that I had three very attractive features, which were a killer smile, my shoulder length, curly ebony hair, plus a straight and noble Roman nose, which is due to my Italian ancestry on my father's side. My last name is Stevens, but my father's family changed it from De Stefano when World War II first broke out in Europe and anti-Italian sentiment began to run very high in the USA.

When school started that year, Jordan and I had one more thing in common. We both played on the modified (7th/8th grade) football team, and as you'd probably expect, Jordan was the quarterback and a defensive back. I, on the other hand, played both offensive and defensive end. It was great and we looked forward to having a terrific season.

You wouldn't think that a modified team would pass very much, but we certainly did. Jordan was an awesome quarterback and since the two of us practiced together for years, including playing junior league football on the same team, we knew each other's moves and what to expect when a play broke down. It didn't hurt that I had sticky fingers too, but only in sports. That's a joke, if you didn't get it, and I wasn't a pickpocket or thief. I just had a way of coming down with the football, even when it didn't look as if I should be able to catch the pass.

By the time the varsity's homecoming game rolled around, our team was undefeated, with only one game left to play. Since we were doing so well, Jordan and I had our choice of dates and attended the homecoming dance with two of the most beautiful girls in our class. Ah, life was good.

The day after the big dance, Jordan and I got together to compare notes about how far we got with our dates when we walked them home. It happened that the two girls lived in opposite directions from the school, so we had to walk them home by ourselves. It wasn't a big problem though and possibly worked out for the best, because it gave us some privacy.

Don't get me wrong. Jordan and I were always very open with each other, even when talking about girls and sex. In fact, our whole sexual development had sort of been a joint effort. When we were little, we were always together when we did the you-show-me-yours-and-I'll-show-you-mine dare or whenever we played doctor with the other kids in the neighborhood. We even organized the first spin the bottle game after my tenth birthday party, when we were in fifth grade.

In sixth grade, Jordan introduced me to the joys of masturbation or beating your meat, as he colloquially referred to it. I was staying over at his house one Friday night and we'd just gone to his bedroom to get ready for bed when he popped the question.

"Tony, do you ever beat your meat?" Jordan asked, out of nowhere.

"Do I what?" I responded, confused.

"Jerk off. Play with yourself," he offered in explanation.

After saying this, he also gave me a little hand motion to help me understand what he was talking about.

"Oh, yeah. Don't all guys?" I responded, hoping I didn't appear too dumb.

"I would think they probably do," he agreed. "How often do you do it?"

"I do it more often now, maybe three or four times a week," I confessed. "What about you?"

"Almost every night," he confirmed. "When did you do it last?"

"Two nights ago," I told him.

"Do you want to do it now?" Jordan pressed.

"You mean here… now… in front of each other?" I wondered.

I wasn't exactly a prude and we'd seen each other without any clothes on plenty of times, but this didn't seem like something you'd do with another dude.

"Why not? We've seen each other naked hundreds of times, so we've seen each other's cock often enough" Jordan reasoned. "We used to take baths in the same tub and now we shower together at school. We've even played all those games with the other kids together and change in front of each other, so why not?"

"I just thought this was something you did in private," I answered.

"Think about it," he challenged. "Does it sound like fun doing sex stuff alone? I mean I've done it by myself before, but only because there was no one else to do it with, except for my little brother and he's not old enough to do those things. Don't you think it's kind of a waste to be having a sexual release all by yourself? Besides if we do it so we can watch each other, then maybe we'll be able to learn some different things at the same time, so we can make it even better."

"Like what?" I challenged.

"Well, I don't know," he replied, "but we might find out there are other things to try, if we watch each other. You know, stuff we've thought of doing, but the other one hasn't. What do you say?"

I considered this for a minute, but just a minute. Hell, he was my best friend and we didn't have any secrets from each other, so why not?

"Well, I will if you will," I agreed.

"Great. Undo your pants and sit next to me on the bed," Jordan urged. "We can lean against the wall while we're doing it."

I did what he told me and we were ready to start. I spit in my right hand and then used my fingers to spread the saliva evenly on my right palm.

"What did you do that for?" Jordan wanted to know.

"I heard some older guys talking one day," I began, "and they said it felt better if you wet your hand with spit or use baby oil when you do it. They told me it makes your hand slide easier on your dick, so it feels better."

"Really? Wait here and I'll get the bottle of baby oil from the medicine chest," Jordan suggested, as he jumped off the bed. He was gone less than a minute before he came back carrying a small bottle. "Here, I'll squirt a little on your hand and you can spread it around. Ok?"

"Sure," I agreed.

We both took a squirt of the baby oil and smeared it over our hand, before we started stroking our rigid tools.

"Wow, it does make it better!" Jordan exclaimed. "I'm glad you told me about this. Sometimes my skin would get all red and sore if I did it for too long or too often, so doing this might make it so it won't hurt so much. I really like the way my hand seems to glide up and down on my dick."

"Jordan. What are you doing now?" I asked, after taking a quick glance to see what he was up to.

"When I am playing with dick, I like to use my other had to rub my balls. I do that for a while, but then I slide a finger from that hand up my butt."

"Why do you do that?" I asked, shocked and confused.

"Well, when I was at basketball camp last summer, some of the guys that I hung around with told me about doing it this way," he explained. "They said it makes doing it feel better and they were right. You should try it. It just increases the sensations you experience and makes it feel so much better. I would always suck my finger and coat it with spit before I slid it up my ass, but now I'll just make sure its coated with the baby oil. It will slide in and out a lot better that way."

I tried what Jordan suggested, even if I wasn't exactly sure that I wanted to do it, but it did feel good. In fact, it felt great. I guess he'd been right when he said we might be able to learn things by doing it with each other. From that day on we did this together quite frequently and experimented with different grips one of us had heard about somehow or even tried. It was a time of great sexual awakening.

Once football season ended, Jordan and I moved on to basketball. Jordan was the point guard on the 7th grade team and I played center/forward, depending on who else was in the game with us. Just like we did in football, we knew each other's moves and used it to our advantage. Our inside-out play impressed our coach and made us valuable to the team, so we both got a lot of playing time. This kept us busy until Christmas.

Over the Christmas break, Jordan and I reached the next plateau in our sexual adventures with each other. This happened after I went over to visit him on the day after Christmas. We started out by playing games on his new X-Box first, which his parents bought as a joint present for both him and his brother. We were deep into one of the games when Jordan made an announcement.

"You know we're going to be moving, don't ya?" he asked, completely knocking me off my game.

"You're what?" I screamed.

"Don't worry. It won't be for about a year and we're just moving up the hill," he clarified. "Do you remember the old Dodd farm up on top of the hill?"

"You're moving to that old dilapidated farm house on the dead end road?" I asked, puzzled.

Jordan chuckled and gave me a strange look.

"Not quite," he replied. "Dad bought the farm, but he's tearing down the old house and is going to build a new one for us. It's his Christmas present to my mom, but he says it won't be completed until around next Christmas. Justin and I are going to have our own rooms and won't have to share a room any more. There will even be a bathroom in between that will be for just us to use. It's going to be great and you and I will be able to spend a lot more time together by ourselves, because we won't have Justin in the room with us all the time."

"Yeah, I'm sure it will be nice, but then I'll have to walk up and down that damn hill to see you," I moaned. "It won't be as simple as it is now"

"I know, but I'm going to have to walk up and down that same damn hill to see you and my other friends and…" Jordan replied, until I cut him off.

"Alright. I get the idea," I agreed. "Don't get me wrong, because I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks. I knew you would be," Jordan confirmed, and then he paused for a moment. "Hey, Tony, let's quit playing games and I'll show you something on my computer. What do you say?"

"Yeah. Go for it man," I urged.

We walked back to the room Jordan currently shared with his brother. Justin wasn't there at the moment, so Jordan shut and locked the door, turned on the computer and signed on to the Internet. Once he was connected, he typed in a bunch of things, but I couldn't see exactly what he was doing. He was just going too fast for me to follow and then, before I knew it, there were pictures of a bunch of naked people on the screen. This was obviously some sort of nudist site and there were men, women, boys and girls doing all kinds of things in the buff. They didn't all have perfect bodies, like you see in the skin magazines, but some of them weren't bad. Well, to make a long story short, after looking through all of the pictures, there were two horny young men staring at a blank computer screen.

"Well, I guess it's time to meet Rosie Palm," I said to Jordan.

"Tony. How about if this time you do it to me and then I'll do to you?" Jordan suggested.

"Why?" I responded. "That sounds kind of weird."

I was completely astonished that Jordan had suggested we try anything like this and couldn't imagine why my best friend had just asked me to try it with him. I mean do guys really do that for each other?

"I read somewhere that all guys our age often experiment and do things like that as part of growing up," Jordan explained. "It said it feels better when someone else does it for you, so I just wanted to see if it actually does."

"You read that? Where?" I asked, while wondering where he'd come up with such outrageous information.

"Yes. It was some kind of scientific report written by some doctor," he verified. "It said that at some time or other most boys try doing sexual things with their friends. After reading that, I couldn't think of anyone else I'd be willing to experiment with except for you. How about it? Are you willing to give it a try?"

"It really said that most guys do those sort of thing with other guys?" I pressed.

"Yep, and usually in their teens," Jordan replied, smugly.

"Well, ok then, I guess," I conceded. "Like you said, if we're going to do it, then we might as well do it with each other, like we have everything else."

"Here's the baby oil. You put some on your hand while I get undressed," he suggested.

Jordan quickly took his clothes off, all of them, and then jumped back on the bed, on my left side. I sat beside him and reached my right hand out toward his stiff cock.

"Go ahead. You're not going to hurt it," Jordan offered, when he saw my hesitation.

I had never touched anyone else's penis before and I was struggling with the idea of doing it. Finally, I just gave in and wrapped my hand around his stiff member and began stroking it up and down. Jordan let out a slight moan and closed his eyes. Doing this didn't feel bad to me, but it was kind of strange, because I'd never thought I'd ever touch another guy's cock.

In a way, doing it to Jordan was kind of like doing it to myself, except I wasn't feeling the sensations from stroking up and down. I really didn't mind stroking his dick and it was sort of neat to see him enjoying what I was doing to him. I kept running my hand up and down his stiff rod, pumping his young joystick for all it was worth, when his cock began to throb and twitch in my hand.

"Oh, Ohhh, Tony. I'm gonna shoot. I'm… I'm cumming," he yelped.

Jordan's body then became as stiff as a board and a giant rope of white cream shot from the tip of his dick and sailed across his body. It landed with a splat and trailed down from his nose to mid chest. Then a second spurt jettisoned from his rocket launcher and landed just below his chin and extended downward to between his nipples, while the following spurts coated the area from his nipples down to his navel. The final few drops merely oozed out of his penis and wound up in his pubic patch, but it left Jordan's body and my hand covered in his boy juices.

Jordan remained quite still for about a minute, as his breathing gradually slowed back to normal. When he'd recovered from his powerful release, he looked directly into my eyes and flashed me one of his killer smiles.

"That was fucking awesome," he gushed. "It was ten times better than it ever felt when I did it to myself. I thought it might feel a little better, but that was absolutely fantastic. Hurry up, Tony. Take your clothes off and I'll do you next."

I threw Jordan his shower towel, which was lying on the floor beside the bed, and then turned my focus to getting myself ready, while he cleaned himself up. After hearing how Jordan had raved about what I'd just done for him, I nearly tore my clothes off in anticipation and then jumped on the bed and waited. After Jordan finished wiping the cum from his body, he grabbed my stiff cock with his freshly lubed hand and started to pump it. I also quickly discovered the joy of having my body administered to by someone else, as I closed my eyes and focused on the pleasurable sensations.

It certainly didn't take 'Little Tony' very long to fall in love with his new playmate and he throbbed eagerly with every movement of Jordan's hand. I started breathing in rapid, shallow gasps, as my friend continued stroking my dick, and I heard all sorts of little noises emanating from my throat, as my mind floated above the clouds. I could sense the pressure building within my groin and then felt the tingling and churning overtaking my balls. The end was near.

Suddenly, my body stiffened and arched off the bed, as I grabbed handfuls of the bedding in both fists and my toes involuntarily curled toward the soles of my feet. Just as soon as that happened, Mt. Stevens erupted in a series of powerful blasts, as several bursts of boy cream shot from my dick. A few moments later, I was covered in a hot, sticky mess.

I was too overcome to speak at first, so I just basked in the afterglow of my orgasm. I couldn't believe that I had received so much pleasure from having another boy's hand on my dick and all sorts of thoughts and questions were going through my mind, when Jordan brought me back to my senses.

"Well, what did you think?" he wanted to know.

While he waited for me to respond, he kept searching my face to see if he could tell if I'd actually enjoyed it. Eventually I found my tongue and formed my answer, which came out as sort of a hiss.

"Fucking great!" I wheezed, breathlessly.

Jordan beamed at my response.

"See I told you so. You've got to listen to me more often. I'm learning all kinds of neat things on the computer, so now that I have my own, I expect to learn a lot more."

I nodded in agreement and remained motionless on the bed, unable and unwilling to move. After I was coherent again, we cleaned up, dressed and then unlocked the door again. We stayed in his bedroom though, with the door closed, so we could talk about what we'd just done.

During this time, we discussed our impressions of how the powerful climaxes we'd just experienced had felt, as well as what we thought about having done this and touching each other's penis. We also compared this to how we enjoyed doing it to ourselves and then we talked about how it was different when we did each other. We talked for a long time and covered every facet of this new and different experience until there was nothing left to discuss. Eventually, we both prepared for bed and then crashed for the rest of the night.

The time after Christmas went by quickly, so before we knew it we were back in school and the basketball season had come to an end. We finished with an 11-1 record, to go along with our undefeated football season, which only proves what I told you. We were good at sports, but even more so when we played together. Soon, winter would be over and spring would be making its appearance and ushering in the baseball season.

We spent much of that in between time on Jordan's computer and found some other sites with nude pictures, but we even found some that had sex stories. This helped us continue our sexual education until baseball season began and our free time was taken up by practices. Of course, Jordan was the pitcher/shortstop and I played third base, but I moved over to shortstop when Jordan was pitching. He batted third in the line-up and I batted fourth. The coach put us in the batting order like this because Jordan had a better batting average and I hit with more power. Everything we did seemed to compliment one another and I think everyone deserved to have a best friend like we were to each other.

The end of school was fast approaching and along with it the end to another sport's season. Our last game was a joke, in that we literally walked away with the game and the other team never really had a chance. Jordan pitched a no-hitter and had five hits, while I had two homeruns and two singles. We ended up killing the other team 18-0 and finished the season with a 13-1 record.

Our only loss was an away game that Jordan couldn't pitch, because he had pitched two days earlier. Our second pitcher was out sick that day, so we had to rely on our third pitcher. He started to have trouble in the middle of the game and was getting hit really hard, but we didn't have any other pitchers. Knowing he couldn't leave that pitcher in any long, the coach started using people who hadn't pitched since Little League and it was all down hill from that point on. I guess you could say the pitchers he used at that point didn't have their best stuff and ended up walking a lot of batters. When they did get the ball over the plate, the other team usually hit it, but mostly out of reach of one of our fielders. We ended up losing that game 16-8, but we weren't about to cry over it, since we'd still had another great season.

Shortly after that, school ended for the year and Jordan and I had both done really well on our final exams and report cards. Summer was here and with it came a series of carefree days filled with fun and games, or so we thought. It seemed that Mr. Koontz, Jordan's dad, had summer jobs planned for us, even though we didn't know it until summer vacation began. He had decided to use us to help him build their new house.

My parents had already agreed to let me do this and I was actually going to get paid. My wages were strictly under the table though, because I wasn't actually old enough to do this legally, but basically I was just helping out a family friend. The important thing, at least to me, was that I would be making money. Mr. Koontz was going to use Jordan and I to carry materials back and forth to the guys working for him, but we were also expected to clean up the mess the workers had made after they were done each day.

It wasn't a bad job, although we had to work hard, but it was definitely easier to keep from getting bored because we were able to do this together. I also felt good knowing I was actually helping Jordan's family build their new house, so whenever I stayed over after it was finished I would feel as if it was part mine too.

One week I had to work alone, because Jordan was off attending his yearly basketball camp. My parents couldn't afford to send me, but next year I was going to join him and use some of the money I earned working for his dad this year. Mr. Koontz had already informed us that, if we wanted to, he would do the same thing for us next summer and let us help at whatever site he was working on at the time. It felt good knowing I'd be able to make my own money, which my parents had agreed to let me use as I pleased, but Mr. Koontz also thought we were doing a good job to boot.

On weekends, Jordan and I would play sports with our other friends, go swimming, go to the movies or play video games. We also somehow managed to find time to get on the computer and continue our 'education.' Our busy schedules caused the summer to fly by and we were soon ready to begin 8th grade and start playing on the modified football team for the second year.

After going for our physicals, the team had a meeting with the coach and he told us we had a very good chance to have another fantastic season. He admitted that he had been surprised by how well we had done the previous year, since a large portion of the key positions had been filled by seventh graders, so he felt we could do even better this year. He said we'd have to practice hard and improve our skills, but since we were bigger and more mature then that should help. Jordan had grown three inches [7.5 cm] and was now 5'7" [1.70 m], while I grown two inches [5 cm] and was now 5'10" [1.78 m].

School was a blast, but we also resumed our social life and picked up our dating schedule right where we had left off the previous year. We were so busy over the summer that we didn't have much time for girls, so now we intended to make up for the drought. Our dates often included a lot of kissing and some pretty heavy petting, well at least I knew that mine did and Jordan advised me that his dates went basically the same.

It seemed that in no time at all we'd finished off another undefeated football season and were moving on to eighth grade basketball. Whenever we had a day off from school, we helped Jordan's dad work on the house, so as it got closer to Thanksgiving it was nearly done. We worked the entire holiday with him and Jordan's family planned to start moving in during the first full-week of December.

Two days before Christmas, Jordan's mom and dad threw a huge Christmas party for all of their friends and used this as an excuse to show off the new house. Of course, my parents were included in the festivities and I gave them the grand tour, since I knew the house as well as anyone. They both seemed very impressed with what they saw and everyone that came had a great time. I even helped Mr. and Mrs. Koontz clean up that night and throughout the next day, since they and my parents had agreed to let me stay overnight.

Two days after Christmas, I stayed over at their house again. Jordan and I spent a great deal of time on the computer and we were both extremely aroused as evening rolled around. That's when Jordan hit me with something new.

"Tony, have you ever had a blow job?" he asked, totally surprising me yet again.

"No. Not yet," I revealed, somewhat reluctantly.

"I was thinking about this and figured that most of the girls our age probably don't know how to give one," Jordan rationalized. "That means we'll probably have to explain to them how to do it and it's going to be hard for us to teach them if we've never had one."

I nodded my head in agreement, although I wondered where my friend was going with this line of thought. It didn't take long before I discovered the answer to my question.

"I thought, if you were willing, we could give one to each other and then we'd know what to tell the girls they would need to do," he suggested. "I mean the other things we've done with each other have really worked out great and I think this would probably work out just as well."

I merely looked at Jordan and didn't give him an answer right away, because I had to take time to think this over. When I had finally organized my thoughts, I told him what I thought.

"I don't know Jordan. Having a cock in my mouth would make me queer or something and I ain't no fag." I was very leery about doing this.

"It wouldn't make us queer. We'd just be doing more experimenting, like we did when we tried those other things," Jordan reasoned, in an attempt to persuade me. "Remember that article I told you about before? It said this is another one of those things that boys often try with each other. It says most of the boys end up being straight, even though they experimented and did these types of things with other boys first."

"I still don't know," I whined. "It just doesn't sound right to be putting another guy's dick in your mouth."

"Look, I'll tell you what," Jordan offered. "I'll do it to you first and then you can decide if you want to return the favor."

"If I let you blow me first, then you're still willing to let me choose whether or not I want to blow you afterward?" I stated, in an attempt to clarify what he was saying. "In other words, just because you do it to me doesn't mean I have to automatically do it back, right?"

"No, you won't. I'll suck you off first and then you can decide if you're willing to do it for me," he answered. "If you don't want to try it, then I will accept your decision, but if you do, then that would be even better."

"Ok. I'll let you do it to me then, as long as I'm not going to be forced to do it to you afterward, if I decide I don't want to," I agreed.

"Don't worry and you're going to love it," Jordan squealed, all excited. "Get undressed and lie down on the bed."

I did what he told me and Jordan moved beside me, as he got ready to do the deed. Within seconds, he reached out, took my cock in his hand and stroked it a few times to make sure it was getting hard. Then, he bent over and started to lick around the head of my shaft, which caused sensations of pure joy to sweep over my body. As he continued to pay attention to my little friend, his tongue glided over it, but then he continued to lick down and around my shaft, before he worked his way down to my balls.

Jordan then flicked his tongue out against the sensitive skin of my nut sac and delicately washed the entire surface, like a mother cat cleaning one of her kittens. He also took one of my testicles into his mouth, ran his oral muscle around the delicate surface and swished it around in his hot, moist mouth for a few seconds. After gently sucking and nibbling on it for a while, he let that one fall from his lips, before he searched out the other one.

At this point, he surrounded my other testicle with his with his warm oral cavity. Once he had that watery nugget in place, he performed the same ritual on it, as he had on its twin. When he had finished playing with both of my nuts, he licked his way back up my dick and then swallowed nearly all 6½" [16½ cm] of my circumcised member.

Jordan kept licking my steel-like rod with his tongue and then his head started to bob up and down over more than half of its length. He was very careful about keeping his teeth from scraping the skin and sucked on my prick like he was trying to inhale a thick milkshake through a straw. The sensation was overwhelming and it was becoming nearly impossible for me to lie still. My body began to wiggle and squirm under him, as I also moaned in delight. After a very short time, I could feel my testicles beginning to tingle, as they prepared to send the hot load of juices up my shaft.

"I'm almost ready to shoot," I warned my friend.

I was trying to give him the opportunity to pull away, before the inevitable explosion. Jordan, however, didn't move away and merely continued to bob his blond head up and down my quivering member.

"Jordan, I'm… going to… cum. I'm… almost… there," I gasped, since I didn't think he'd want to take my load in his mouth. "I'm… ahhh… cumming."

With that pronouncement, a tingling sensation swept over and through my body, as my seed erupted into Jordan's oral cavity. There were several forceful spurts of that creamy white fluid, but Jordan just kept sucking on me until my penis deflated and the last of my juices had been completely drained. When I had sufficiently recovered from this tremendous climax, I looked down at Jordan and spoke.

"Why the hell didn't you pull off?" I wanted to know. "I warned you in plenty of time, so why did you go and swallow my load?"

"I figured you'd enjoy it better that way and it wouldn't be any worse that eating a cunt and swallowing some girl's pussy juices," Jordan reasoned. "Heck, it didn't even taste bad, so I didn't mind doing it at all."

I was totally confused. I wasn't sure if he meant what he said or if he just told me this in order to convince me to do the same thing for him. I mean I understood what he was saying about it being about the same as getting a mouthful of pussy juices, but I still don't think a guy is supposed to swallow another guy's spunk. Is he? Jordan just sat there looking at me, grinning at my expressions, as I pondered this dilemma.

"Well, you seemed to enjoy it. Didn't you?" Jordan pressed, seeking some recognition for his effort.

"Yes. It was really great and all," I confirmed, although I was still leery, "but it just didn't feel right when you swallowed it. I want to thank you for what you did and I don't want to seem ungrateful or anything, but it just seemed strange to know you were doing that."

I paused for a minute, so I could look at my friend and see his reaction. Did he really expect me to do the same thing for him?

"How was it for you? Was it gross?" I wondered. "Did you feel terrible while you were doing it?"

"Like I said, it wasn't bad and I didn't feel funny at all," Jordan assured me. "Actually, it kinda felt good that I could give you as much pleasure as I saw you having from it. It wasn't icky at all. We both shower often enough, so we're both clean, and your dick didn't have much of a taste to it at all. Your cum was a little salty, but kind of sweet too, so I didn't mind doing you in the least."

Jordan stopped and looked into my face. He was flashing me a grin that went from ear to ear and I could tell he wanted to say something more, because his mouth would start to open and then he'd just shut it again, without uttering a sound. After several false starts, he finally asked what was on his mind.

"What about you?" he asked, while staring me in the eye. "Have you decided whether you want to try doing it to me?"

I looked at him, but didn't answer right away, because I was still mulling it over in my mind. I kept looking up at Jordan and he had this sad, pleading look on his face, like a puppy that felt it had just done something wrong. He didn't say anything or try to put any pressure on me, but I could tell by the look on his face and the hope in his big puppy-dog eyes that he wanted this badly.

"If I do this for you, then you've got to promise that you will never tell anyone what we did, not ever," I stated, emphatically, since I was worried about what our other friends would think if they knew what we'd done.

"Of course. I promise," he answered, as a huge grin reemerged across his face. "I'll never tell a soul. I wouldn't want anyone to think were fags now, would I?"

"No, I guess not," I agreed, although I still wasn't totally convinced. "Ok then, get undressed and I'll return the favor."

As he had done when I agree to give him the hand job, Jordan nearly shredded his clothing in his attempt to get them off in a hurry. Once he was naked, he sprawled out on the bed beside me with that damn grin still plastered across his face.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down, Tony," he confirmed. "You're the best friend a guy could ever have."

"Yeah, well you're not so bad either," I agreed, although not quite as enthusiastically as he had done. "Now, shut up and let me get to work."

I bent over Jordan and gave his cock a tentative swipe with my tongue, since I still wasn't convinced that I wanted to do this. I wanted to check out the taste first, before I made my final determination, and to my surprise, Jordan was right. His penis didn't have much of a flavor at all and what there was wasn't bad. It was kind of like sucking on a finger, so I let my guard down a little more and licked it with more conviction than my previous attempt. I ran my tongue around the helmet, as he had done to me, and then I flicked my tongue at his slit.

Jordan let out a fairly loud moan when I did this and his head jerked to one side. Taking that as a sign of approval, I licked my way down his shaft and moved toward his testicles, before I lapped and sucked at the entire, mostly hairless area. After coating the surface with my saliva, I took one of his balls into my mouth, so I could suck and nibble on it gently, the same way he had done to me. After performing an identical act on his other nut, I licked back up the length of his organ until I reached his perfect helmet.

Jordan's 5½" [14 cm] circumcised shaft stood at perfect attention and pulsed slightly with each beat of his heart, as I opened my mouth and prepared to engulf it. I let my tongue lick at his flesh one more time, before I let my head slide down his shaft and allowed my lips to caress the silky skin that covered his rigid pole. I could feel his thin coating of pubic hairs tickle my nose when I reached the base and then I began pumping my lips up and down on his prick.

Jordan was writhing in pleasure beneath me as I worked on his joystick and the sounds he was making were becoming more pronounced as I continued my efforts. His hips started to thrust up and down, as he shoved his cock upward, into my mouth, as I began my return journey down his pole. His thrusting was getting more frantic and forceful, which gave me an indication that he was getting close to his release. I had already determined that I would take his load in my mouth, at least the first shot, to see what it was like. Suddenly, Jordan's voice broke into my thoughts.

"Yeah. I'm cumming. Ohhh. Ahhh," I heard him moan.

Within a second or two, his throbbing penis expanded in my mouth and I felt the first string of cum explode against the back of my throat. It wasn't as disgusting as I'd feared it was going to be, so I kept sucking on his joint, as I siphoned out the next few spurts of boy juice. Wave after wave of his fluids filled my mouth and I swallowed as quickly as I could, in order to make room for the next blast. I did fairly well, but a little of his seed escaped from my lips and rolled down my chin.

After Jordan has finished releasing his wad, I finally felt his body relax, until it was lying motionless on the bed. I continued sucking on his deflating member and attempted to draw every drop of his sweet milk from his boy factory until nothing remained. Finally, I let his penis fall from between my lips and looked up into his perfect face. It was a few seconds more before I saw him start to move again.

"That was fucking great!" he exclaimed, once he regained his senses. "You did an awesome job for someone who wasn't sure if he wanted to do it. Thanks, man, you're terrific."

Jordan hurriedly sat up on the bed and then leaned over, so he could give me a tremendous hug. Not only did this move surprise me, but he also nearly squeezed all of the air from my lungs in the process. Since he had caught me completely off guard by the spontaneity and forcefulness of his embrace, I didn't react at all. It more or less had the same effect as if he was embracing a statue, because I wasn't hugging him back. We hadn't hugged one another since we were very little, so I just shrugged it off as being generated by the extreme pleasure he'd just experienced. It was kind of nice, in a way, so I wasn't totally opposed to having him do this though.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it bud," I gasped out, once I'd caught my breath. "It wasn't all that bad, but remember that you promised we'd never tell anyone else about this. Agreed?"

"Without a doubt," Jordan concurred. "Thanks, again, Tony. You're awesome."

It seemed as if this type of thing was becoming a Christmas tradition for us. For the past two holiday seasons, Jordan and I had explored a new sexual experience over the Christmas break. Last year it was mutual masturbation and this year oral sex. Trying a new sexual activity was becoming part of the holiday season, sort of like hanging the mistletoe or breaking the wishbone. I wonder if he's going to try to convince me to do something new with him every Christmas season from now on.

Since it wasn't as disgusting an experience as I'd first envisioned, Jordan was able to convince me to do it again before New Year's Day. Actually, I was kind of glad he brought it up again; I mean the suggestion, not our penises, because this time I wasn't as nervous about what we were doing. Not only did I enjoy it more, but I was also able to concentrate on what pointers I'd want to give some girl, if I found one who was willing to do this for me.

Although it seemed to happen too quickly, the holidays came to an end and we were back in school again. A month later, another sport season was drawing to a close and we ended basketball with another 11-1 record, which was identical to the previous year. We beat the team that had beaten us the last time and then turned around and lost the next game 43-42, after suffering an emotional and mental letdown. It was still a great season though.

During the two months that followed, we impatiently waited for the baseball season to arrive. Jordan and I would play catch in the driveway, as the snow continued to melt around us, but it was difficult to loosen up or accomplish much with our winter clothing on. It felt good to be holding a baseball again and seemed to make the time pass by faster, although not quickly enough. When physicals and try-outs were finally held, we were eager for our final athletic season of the school year.

Jordan pitched better than he had the previous season and the team was more in sync when fielding, but all of us were also hitting better than we ever had. We won our closest game by a score of 6 – 2, but we also blew out another team by scoring over 20 runs. This season turned out to be just another of our great sport accomplishments and we finished undefeated, with a record of 14-0.

Everything was really going well for us as summer arrived and Mr. Koontz asked me if I was still planning to work for him again. I immediately answered yes, which brought a huge grin to his face, so I guess I now know whom Jordan inherited his killer smile from.

It was shortly after the Fourth of July when Mr. & Mrs. Koontz sat down to talk with Justin, Jordan and me. They said they had something important to tell us and, because I was like another son to them, they wanted me included in this conversation.

"Boys, we have something to tell you," their father began. "I think you realize your mother hasn't been feeling well for a while now and I've been taking her to see the doctor, so he could run some tests. He sent us to a specialist who ran some more tests and he just notified us about the results. We want to share this information with you now.

"It seems that your mom might have some cancerous growths on her lungs," he continued, "and the doctor wants to admit her to the hospital, so he can operate and remove them. He said that afterward she'd have to have chemo and/or radiation treatments, but that's pretty standard when cancer is discovered. We thought you were all old enough to know what was going on, so we wanted to share this information with you together."

We all sat on the couch with our mouths hanging open, not knowing what to say. We knew she had gone to see the doctor a couple of times, but we thought it was just for something minor, like allergies or a seasonal bug. We had no idea it was for anything this serious. Finally, Jordan broke the silence.

"You're going to be all right, aren't you Mom?" he wanted to know.

"Of course, dear," she replied, as calmly as she could. "I just have to have these growths removed from my lungs and then I'll be fine."

We all started to breath a little easier again before I spoke.

"Mom… uh… I mean Mrs. Koontz," she smiled at my slip. "When is the operation going to be?"

"I'm to go to the hospital on Thursday," she offered

"That soon," Justin blurted out, sounding nearly panicked.

"Yes, dear," she replied, in a calm, steady voice. "The doctor doesn't want to wait any longer than that and said we should do this as soon as possible."

"How long will you be in the hospital?" Jordan inquired next.

"I'm not sure, but I'd guess it would be for three days to a week," she replied. "It will depend on how well I do after the operation and what the doctors discover."

"Do you mind if I stay here during that time?" I asked. Not only was I concerned about her, but I felt Jordan and Justin might need me around to help them get through this. "I'll check with my parents tonight to make sure it's ok with them too, but I want to be with the rest of the family while you are gone and having this operation."

"That's very sweet of you, Anthony, and I'm sure the boys will appreciate your company," she agreed.

I hardly ever had anyone call me Anthony, unless I was in trouble with my parents, but somehow it just seemed so right at this moment. I stayed with them for another hour, and when I returned home I told my parents the whole story. They were very shocked and upset by the news, but they rapidly agreed to my request. Before I left to go to my room, my mom was talking to Mrs. Koontz on the phone and asking if there was anything any of us could do for them.

While she was doing that, I packed enough of my things so I could stay with Jordan's family for the entire time. I also took quite a few minutes to consider how this might turn out for her. It's also when I realized this was the first awful thing that had ever happened in Jordan or Justin's young lives. Having come to this conclusion, I knew I wanted to be there to help them get through this and I would do whatever it took to keep them positive. Justin was two and a half years younger than Jordan and me, but he was just like my little brother too. Jordan was my best friend and his family was my family as well. In fact, just a short time before we found out about her condition, Jordan had suggested I might want to start calling his parents Mom K and Dad K, so I felt I had to be there for all of them.

When Thursday came, the four of us sat in the waiting room outside of the operating room while Mom K was in surgery. My parents took some time off from work and stopped by the hospital around lunchtime, but they also brought sandwiches and sodas with them, so the rest of us wouldn't have to leave to get a bite to eat. My mom and dad hugged and kissed us all before they left and Dad K thanked them for their thoughtfulness. This was one day when I was extremely proud of my parents.

Mom K had been in surgery for several hours before the doctor came out to talk to Jordan's father, alone. We waited until Dad K returned and then immediately began to question him about what he had learned. He told us the doctor said that the operation was over and they had removed all of the cancerous growths they'd found. He also told us that Mom K wouldn't be able to have any visitors, other than himself, until tomorrow, so we wouldn't be able to see her to then.

After that, he said my parents had mentioned earlier that they were going to stop back later, on their way home from work, so he was going to ask them to take us home for the night. He told us he would also ask them to drop us back off in the morning, so we could visit with Mom K as soon as she was able to have visitors.

After some mild objections, the three of us finally agreed to his proposal, as long as we would be allowed to come back in the morning. We then we went over and gave him a group hug, and it was then that I noticed Dad K looked as if he had aged ten years in just one day.

That night, Jordan slept with me in my double bed and my parents set up the cot in my room for Justin. We were all really down, because we were so worried about Mom K, so we went to bed fairly early. Justin fell asleep somewhat quickly, since he was emotionally drained, but Jordan and I had too much on our minds and remained awake. Jordan was very worried about his mom and kept thinking about her situation, and even though I was worried about her as well, I was probably more concerned about him.

It really got to me when I began to hear him sobbing softly next to me, because I could feel his pain and uncertainty. Wishing to comfort him, I lifted my arm and placed it over Jordan's head on his pillow. When he saw what I'd done, he lifted his head slightly, so I could slide my arm under his neck. As soon as he did this, I moved my arm lower, so it was not only under his neck, but my hand was also touching his shoulder. I then gently pulled his body closer to mine, such as a parent might do when comforting a child. When he responded, he buried his head in my chest, so I reached up with my other hand and began to tenderly stroke his hair.

"It's going to be all right, bud," I said reassuringly. "The doctor said your mother is doing fine and we'll all see her tomorrow. You have to get some sleep though, so she won't think you belong in the hospital too."

"Tony, I know that's what everyone keeps saying, but I just can't help myself. It just doesn't feel right," he replied. "The doctor talked to my dad for a really long time, but they did it in private, so we couldn't hear what he had to say. I'm sorry, but I don't think Dad is telling us the whole story. No matter what he says, I think he's holding some of it back and there is more to what's going on than he's sharing with us.

"He looked really upset while he was telling us everything had gone as expected and Mom was going to be fine," Jordan continued, "but then he sent us away right after he did that. I know my dad and I'm telling you that he doesn't like to be alone, except when he's upset or has really serious stuff to think about, so I think he knows a lot more than he's willing to admit. I've got a feeling it's not good either."

"Jordan, you've got to stop worrying and thinking the worst," I urged. "Your dad is just concerned about your mother and needs some time alone, so he can think things over. He also wants to have an opportunity to be with her by himself and that's not a bad thing. Give him a chance and I'm sure that if there is more to share, then he will tell us."

I squeezed Jordan in my arms, but he remained tense and his body didn't relax even the slightest. He was really down and I knew it would take something major to bring him around. It was time to pull out the heavy artillery, so I tugged my arm out from under his neck and threw the blanket off of us. He looked at me with a questioning expression on his face, while trying to decide what I was up to. I got on my knees and moved down beside him, grabbed his briefs and began to pull them down his thighs, until they were completely off his legs.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You need to relax and I know just how to get you to do it," I answered.

"Not now, Tony. This isn't the time," Jordan protested.

"This is exactly the time," I corrected. "Now, lie back and enjoy."

With that said, I bent over and began working on his cock. I licked the pink tip of his flaccid penis, as I lifted it up with my hand. I licked around the entire head and slowly 'Little Jordan' began to wake up and enjoy the attention I was giving him. Jordan spread his legs a bit, in order to give me better access to the area, and eventually he began to relax and relish the sensations coursing through his torso.

I knew my efforts were accomplishing my hidden agenda when I heard little whimpers beginning to emanate from Jordan's throat. His dick was now rock hard and I gently began to fondle and tug at his testicles, as I continued to mouth his organ. I eagerly played his slide trombone and hummed out a rhapsody of love that was meant solely for his enjoyment. Jordan was now moaning audibly and I took a quick glance over at the cot to make sure Justin was still asleep. He was lying motionless on the mattress, turned on his side with his back toward us, so I felt it was safe to continue my efforts.

I then removed my hand from Jordan's scrotum and slipped my middle finger in my mouth, while I was still working on his penis. I got my finger nice and wet, removed it from my mouth, slid it between Jordan's legs and slipped it into his rectum, just as I had done to myself so many times since Jordan had taught me this trick. This surprised Jordan, since I had never done this to him before, and his ass jumped off of the mattress, but then he let out a big moan. I checked on Justin one more time and noticed he hadn't moved, so it appeared he was still sleeping. Hell, it looked as if the kid could sleep through a hurricane, even though this time his deep slumber seemed to be working to our advantage.

I picked up my rhythm, as I continued to constantly raise and lower my head up and down the length of Jordan's rod, as I attempted to siphon his concerns out of his body. After many repetitions of this routine, I felt his balls gradually being drawn up toward his body and his penis started to expand in my mouth. I was anticipating his load when the first shot entered my mouth and Jordan began to fill me with spurt after spurt of his sweet boy milk. There was much more of this liquid than he usually expelled, but I didn't pull away. I merely kept swallowing to get it all down.

Even with my best efforts, a few drops escaped from the corners of my mouth and trickled down my chin. I wasn't discouraged though and continued to suck on him until every drop had been siphoned from his testicles. Once that had happened, I allowed his limp penis to reluctantly fall from my lips.

I could tell Jordan was more relaxed now than he had been at any point since his parents announced the news of his mother's illness and this whole nightmare first began. Seeing he was looking much better now, I gently slid my arm back under his neck and drew his body close to mine again. From that point on, I caressed him and tried to squeeze the remaining tension from his body.

"Thanks, dude, that was really great," Jordan whispered, a few seconds later. "You were right. It was the right time and I really needed that. Why don't you lay back and I'll do the same thing for you now."

"No, Jordan. That's not necessary," I objected. "You just lie there, relax and try to go to sleep."

"I won't be able to get any sleep until I return the favor, so don't argue with me," he insisted.

"But you don't have to…" I began to protest, but Jordan cut me off.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to," he stated, in a very soft voice. "You've been just as worried about my mom as I am, so you need to relax too. Just let me do this for you, so lie back and enjoy."

I knew there was no sense in arguing with Jordan once his mind was made up, so I lifted my hips off of the bed and let him slide my boxer briefs down and off my legs. He attacked my dick like starving child and there appeared to be urgency to his actions, yet there was also gentleness in his touch. Once he had me fully erect, he performed on my skin flute and played a magnificent sonata.

He worked my ball sac, as I had done to him, and then he shoved his finger up my ass. As his digit wiggled around just inside my entranceway, it brushed against my magic button and that sent shivers up and down my spine. The electrical sensation was awesome and I started to pump my butt against his finger, so I could experience the sensation again.

At the same time, Jordan continued to work feverishly on my prick and slid his lips up and down the soft skin that covered my firm shaft. Eventually, he was rewarded with the biggest orgasm of my life. Not only did I fire several shots into his mouth, but I could also tell that the volume of sperm I deposited in him was far greater than I'd ever produced in any single session prior to this. My body shuddered from this tremendous release and then I lie on the bed silent and spent.

"That was a pretty awesome load there, buddy. I've never seen you cum that much before," Jordan confirmed.

"I don't think I've ever shot so much either," I replied somewhat astonished. "I think it might have been the result of the little extra work you did on my balls and in my hole that catapulted me into such a tremendous explosion. Thanks, Jordan, that was really great."

"Hey, you're my best bud and the two of us will do anything for each other. Right?" Jordan added, with a grin.

"Absolutely, but I think we'd better get some sleep, so we'll be ready for tomorrow," I offered.

Jordan nodded and we both retrieved our underwear and put them back on. I slipped my arm under and around him again as we got comfortable, which caused him to turn into my body and place his arm across my chest. He then whispered another 'thank you' in my ear and planted a tender kiss on my cheek, before he rested his head on my shoulder. It didn't take long before I could feel the steady rhythm of his breathing against my side, so I knew he had finally fallen asleep. Shortly after that, I fell asleep and was able to get some rest too, since I knew I'd been able to help my best friend in his time of need.

The next morning, we awoke, showered, ate breakfast and then rode in with my parents to the hospital. We went directly to the waiting room that was close to Jordan's mom's room and found Jordan's dad there as well. He was wearing the same clothes he'd had on the previous day, so we knew he'd been here the entire time and hadn't gone home at all. He also appeared to be much older than when we left him, so I began to feel that Jordan might be right about the things he'd told me the previous night.

We all went over to hug him and each of us gave him a peck on the cheek or forehead too, but we also asked him how Mom K was doing. He said she was resting at the moment, but he assured us that she'd come through the operation with flying colors and the doctors said she was responding well.

Since Dad K looked so exhausted, we asked if he'd been able to get any sleep at all and he said he'd slept on the sofa, while he pointed at the uncomfortable looking piece of furniture for added emphasis. Since he'd been able to get some rest, we talked him into going home to shower, change and eat next, while we stayed at the hospital. Reluctantly, he agreed and Jordan, Justin and I were soon sitting there, waiting by ourselves.

After remaining in the waiting room for a few minutes, I went over to the nurse's station and inquired about when we would be able see Mom K. The nurse on duty asked who we were, so I told her we were her sons. Satisfied, she said we could go in and visit, just as soon as she'd finished her breakfast and received her sponge bath. I thanked her for the information and then went back to tell Jordan and Justin the news. They were both relieved to hear what I had to say, since it meant they'd get to see their mother soon.

After a short delay, the nurse came in to the waiting area and told us that we could go in and spend some time with Mom K. We were all thrilled that we'd finally been given permission to do this, although we were still somewhat anxious as we walked into the room. Even though we were aware that she'd just undergone a very invasive surgery, none of us were quite prepared for what we saw next.

Although Mom K was awake and lying in bed, with her head slightly elevated, we weren't expecting to see so many tubes and wires extending from her body. She had tubes running from her nose and out of both arms, but there were also a couple of different monitors recording her vital signs. Different parts of her body were also grotesquely discolored from the effects of her surgery and I heard the other two audibly gasp when they noticed this. I could also see tears beginning to trickle down their cheeks as well, even though I wasn't doing much better. We all tried, however, to put on our best faces as we approached her hospital bed, because we didn't want her to detect our surprise and concern.

Mom K flashed a faint smile when she first noticed us, but other than a slight turn of her head, she hardly moved at all. We all tried to tell her that she looked great and the doctors agreed they had removed all of the cancer, so everything was going to be fine, but I'm not sure how convincing we were. She did, however, nod slightly and whispered a barely audible 'thank you,' before she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The three of us sat in her room a while longer and then we all went back to the waiting room, where we could talk without her overhearing. Both of the boys walked ahead of me, so I could see their bodies were hunched over in despair and their heads hung dejectedly toward the floor. This let me know that our quick visit might have done more harm than good, at least as far as their morale was concerned. I decided to gage my words every carefully, after we finally reached the waiting room.

"I know you're upset after you just saw how your mom looked, but I want to point out that most people don't look particularly well after going through an operation. It's just the way it is. I remember seeing my grandmother after her operation and she looked a lot worse than your mother did. Even Johnny Davis looked bad when I visited him after he had his appendix out, but both of them recovered and they're still doing fine. It's just how it works. It always appears worse than it is. She'll be fine. You just wait and see."

They seemed to be a little better after my inspirational speech, although I knew their spirits were still down in the dumps. They stayed that way until their father returned, about an hour later. He looked at the three of us and noticed our expressions, so he pulled me aside to ask if we had been in to see Mom K yet. When I said we had, he wanted to know how the boys took it. I was very honest and told him that they reacted very poorly to seeing her in that condition and Dad K merely shook his head and looked upset. He then moved over to speak with his sons.

I left the waiting room and stayed away for a while, to give them some privacy. I spent my time walking up and down the corridors, while trying to think about what I could do to make things better for them. When I returned, the boys were both sitting on their father's lap, one on each leg, with their arms wrapped around his neck. He winked at me when I entered, so I sat down in one of the chairs near them. I don't know what he'd said to them, but it seemed to have done the trick, because Jordan and Justin each appeared to be less depressed than when I'd left them a few minutes earlier.

The three of us visited with Mom K from time to time over the next several days, but it was almost two weeks before she was able to return home. Dad K had set up a rented hospital bed for her in the living room and that would be her bedroom until she was back on her feet. A nurse was also hired to check on her every few hours and to take care of her when Dad K was at work. The nurse was primarily there to keep her clean, change her dressings, feed her and administer the drugs she was required to take, since none of us were capable of doing those things for her. As time passed, Mom K became increasingly independent and more like her old self, which helped Dad K and the boys to become more optimistic about her prognosis and recovery.

By the beginning of August, Jordan's parents had convinced us that she was doing fine, so they felt Jordan and I should plan on attending the basketball summer camp. Our hearts really weren't into it, since we were still so worried about her, but we agreed to attend, mainly to prove we were truly optimistic about Mom K's recovery.

My father drove us to the camp and helped us check in on Sunday afternoon. He explained our situation at home to the gentleman at the registration desk and the man agreed to pair us up in the same room. This was against the rules, since they wanted us to mix with others we didn't already know, but he thought we needed to be together so we could support each other. Since the clinic was being conducted on a college campus, everyone attending was assigned to one of the dorms for the week and we were told where to go. The college students weren't scheduled to be back on campus until the week after we left, so our being there wouldn't interfere with them returning for the fall semester.

That first night, Jordan slept in my bed with me, and I held him close to help reassure him. In the middle of the night he must have had a nightmare, because he suddenly became very restless and agitated. He woke me when he began to moan and whimper, but then he also began to squirm about on the bed. In order to comfort and calm him down, I pulled him tightly against my body, stroked his hair, kissed him on the forehead and whispered in his ear that everything was going to be fine. I don't think he awoke at any point during this episode, but he did calm down after that and then had a fairly restful completion to his evening's slumber.

Monday morning, we attended the first session of the clinic and it didn't take long for Jordan to start acting like himself again. I was really excited when I noticed his sudden transformation and hoped he wouldn't revert back to being depressed again later.

Since this was my first basketball camp, I didn't realize there were a couple of big time college coaches on the staff too. I hadn't read any of the brochures and Jordan hadn't mentioned this fact, so I never realized this was more than just some high school coaches and college players. In fact, I was so overwhelmed after I became aware of their presence that I made numerous mistakes as we ran the first couple of drills. This made me feel like a big klutz, but I was eventually able to settle down enough that the rest of the session went smoothly.

The afternoon session went by quickly as well, but this time I did a lot better when running through the drills. We finished up the day with a scrimmage and Jordan and I were on the same team. This was just like old times for us and we beat the other squad we were playing against by ten points. I think this impressed the coaches I'd failed to win over during the morning session.

After dinner, we called Jordan's house and his father told us that his mother was doing much better. Jordan seemed to relax after hearing this news and his spirits were greatly improved by bedtime. He still slept with me that evening, but this time he had an uneventful night, free from the nightmares of the previous evening.

The next couple of days went much like the first, except I didn't have a repeat of my poor performance, which I'd had in the initial morning session. After we finished eating dinner each evening, we attended film sessions where the coaches went over videos of one of their college team's games. They eagerly pointed out both the good and bad moves their players had made, so we could learn from watching them. This proved to be a very interesting and informative session.

Wednesday night in the dorm was slightly different as well, since Jordan slept in his own bed for the first time. As far as I could tell, he had no problems during the evening either, although it wasn't quite as easy for me. I actually missed Jordan being with me that night and felt very lonely, so I wasn't totally rested when I woke up the next morning.

Thursday's drills were geared more to individual positions, instead of the general skill sessions of the first few days. This time, Jordan and I were in different groups and were engaged in drills suited to the positions that we were used to playing. We didn't see each other again until the afternoon scrimmage, but this time we were on opposite teams and had to play against each other. Neither of us even remembered whose team won that scrimmage, since we concentrated more on our individual play, rather than the score.

We called his house again after dinner and this time Dad K let Jordan talk to his mother for a few minutes. After he finished his conversation with her, Jordan was in such a good mood that he couldn't seem to stop talking or wind down, once we returned to our room. After a couple of hours of watching him figuratively bouncing off the walls, I pushed him down on his bed, removed all of his clothes and gave him another blowjob, which I hoped would make him relax.

As soon as he reached his orgasm, the peaceful expression on his face let me know he had really appreciated my effort and it helped him tremendously. Of course, Jordan felt obligated to return the favor, even over my protests that it wasn't necessary, so he ended up giving me a hummer too. We both went to sleep that evening with smiles on our faces, which was a rare occurrence in recent times.

The first part of Friday morning's session was spent limbering up and running individual position drills again, and then the second half of the session was spent with us running through more drills and then a scrimmage. The college players basically ran this second session, because the coaches were sitting in the stands, evaluating our strengths and weaknesses. They were busy taking notes about what they observed, but they wouldn't share this information with us until later that evening. In between, they would use the time to organize their thoughts into written evaluations for each player, which we'd be able to take home with us when the clinic ended.

While the coaches were busy preparing our evaluations, some of their current and former players were either coaching or refereeing a double scrimmage session for us. We were assigned to teams on four separate occasions, and sometimes I was on the same team with Jordan, while at other times we played against each other. At one point, when we were on the same team again, the college players decided they wanted to see what we could do at different positions. During this time, I was given an opportunity to play both the forward and center positions, while Jordan got to shift between point and shooting guard. I did better when I played forward, but Jordan did really well at both positions.

After the evening meal, we were divided into groups, so we could meet with one of the coaches. The coach we'd been assigned to had the evaluation that had been compiled from the notes the various coaches had made about our level of play. He then went over each of our strengths and weaknesses with us individually, and he was very thorough and encouraging as he did this. He wanted to make sure we understood each skill we had mastered and did well at, but he also told us which skills we needed to continue to work on, in order to get better.

Since Jordan and I both wanted to improve and get better, we took this opportunity very seriously. I learned a lot from my discussion with the coach and thanked him for all of his help. Once we were dismissed, Jordan and I returned to our room and compared notes on how we had done. We also packed our belongings, so we'd be ready to leave Saturday morning, just as soon as my father arrived.

My dad showed up around ten o'clock and we talked about the camp with him, as he drove us back home. As soon as we arrived at Jordan's house, we all went inside to see his mother. Jordan and I were totally surprised by how much better she looked, especially when compared to what she looked like when we left for camp. Her color was much better now, more than half of the tubes were gone, plus she was sitting up and joking about a variety of topics. That afternoon was also the first time that I noticed the sparkle had return to Jordan's eyes, something I hadn't seen for quite some time.

Mom K kept getting better as we headed into the fall, so Jordan and I began preparing for school and J.V. Football. We were going to be freshmen when we returned to classes this year and we'd be going to the high school for the first time. I spent the last three nights before school started by staying with Jordan and he was his old self again, as well as up to his old tricks.

"Tony. Do you know what a 69 is?" he asked, as soon as we were in bed.

"Yeah, I've heard about it," I admitted, while quickly trying to figure out where this discussion was going

"Have you ever done it?" Jordan followed, as soon as my answer had escaped my lips.

"No, have you?" I wondered.

I was now fairly certain about what was coming next, but I was curious if he'd ever done this with anyone before.

"No, but I was thinking that maybe we should try it," he explained. "That way we can get used to being in that position, before we try doing it with some girl."

"What am I, your human guinea pig?" I challenged. "You always seem to want to try everything on me first, before you do it with anyone else."

"That's only because I don't want to look like some inexperienced jerk when I'm attempting to impress some girl," he reasoned. "You're my best friend, so who else would I want to try these things with, and it's worked out pretty well so far. Hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I conceded. "So far you seem to have been right about everything, so get undressed and I'll do this with you too."

Jordan flashed me one of his 'I talked you into it again' smiles and we arranged ourselves on the bed. We were lying on our sides, facing the other's genitals, and soon began to lick each other's penis. Jordan let his tongue slide down my shaft, as he worked his way to my scrotum, but then kept going. Before I knew what he was doing, Jordan was licking my tain't. This is the area between the testicles and the anus, which our friends all joked tain't either one. When he started licking up the crack of my ass, I became startled and scooted away from him.

"What in the hell are you doing now?" I asked, somewhat perturbed.

"Well, if I'm practicing this to get ready to do it with a girl, then I've got to practice on something more like a cunt. I'll blow you as we practice being in this position, so I'll get you off, but I'm going to work on your butt too. I want to do that so I can try to get an idea about what it will be like to work on a pussy."

"Hold on right there, bucko," I objected. "This is starting to get into some pretty heavy-duty gay shit. I don't mind that you talked me into some of these things, but I'm not going to become some fairy ass rimmer."

"Look. A girl's pussy isn't that much different from your asshole," Jordan reasoned. "Therefore, we can use it for practice and develop our techniques. Come on. Haven't I always been straight with you? Haven't I always been right about most of this so far?"

"Yeah, but it sounds downright gross and really queer," I protested.

"Is it any more gross than sucking each other's cock or sucking on a pussy?" Jordan countered.

I thought about what he'd just said for a minute, before I answered.

"No, I guess not, but it still seems pretty gay to me," I stated. "The next thing you know, your going to be asking to fuck my ass to practice intercourse, before you try it with a girl."

"I hadn't thought of that, but it's not a bad idea," Jordan agreed, while flashing me one his pleading expressions.

"Wait just one damn minute here, partner," I protested. "I'm not fucking no ass and nobody is going to fuck mine."

"Think about it, Tony," Jordan shot back. "Some guys fuck their girls in the ass too, to avoid the risk of getting them pregnant. They also do it that way when the girl's on the rag or after her cunt gets stretched out from too much sex or having a baby."

"Well, I ain't a girl," I pointed out.

"I'm not saying you are and I'm not suggesting we should do that tonight," he offered, reassuringly. "Why don't you just let me use your ass to practice tonight and you can do the same to me, but only if you want to."

I thought about this for a really long time, constantly looking up to see Jordan's pleading puppy-dog expression, so I finally ended up giving in to him again, like I normally do. I don't know what it is about Jordan, but he can usually talk me into doing all kinds of shit with him that I'd never consider doing at any other time or with anyone else.

"I should have my head examined, but all right," I told him. "I'm not going to give in about you butt fucking me though."

Jordan released a little chuckle, before he gave me a big hug and a thank you. Then, we got back into position and this time Jordan licked up my crack, spread my ass cheeks and started licking around my anal opening. I wasn't keen about letting him do this, so I was surprised when it started to feel good. After putting it off for as long as I could, I finally gave in and started doing the same thing to him. Before I knew it, Jordan stuck out his stiffened tongue and pushed it against my pucker.

At first, my sphincter muscle tightened and refused to allow him entry, but he was persistent and kept it up until I began to relax and my sphincter gave way. When this occurred, Jordan's tongue finally penetrated my virgin hole and began working its magic. My entire body actually trembled from the sensations I was currently feeling, as Jordan began to lap at my butt hole, like a dog attacking a spilt glass of milk.

I couldn't believe I was allowing this to happen, let alone enjoying it too, but I was soon mimicking his behavior and performing the same ritual on him. Even though I suspected my mind would dictate otherwise, I wasn't repulsed by my actions and even began to enjoy what we were doing. I kept telling myself that I wasn't gay, but the thought that I was possibly bi-sexual kept popping into my head. That wasn't quite as bad as actually being gay, so mentally I began to grow more comfortable with what I was doing.

This small acknowledgement appeared to do the trick and got me past my natural revulsion for performing these acts. Before I knew it, we were working our way back to the other one's cock and finished by giving each other the blowjobs we had initially agreed to. We also ended up shooting our loads nearly simultaneously, before we settled in to go to sleep. I was just starting to dose off when I heard Jordan speak to me again.

"Thanks, Tony. You're a great friend and I really love you."

Fall had arrived and the school year was now underway. Jordan and I signed up for the J.V. football team, but for the first time since we began playing sports, we weren't starters. Neither of us had ever sat on the bench before, in any sport, except when the team had a big lead and the coach put in the other guys to get some experience. For this reason, the current situation was difficult for us to accept.

Jordan and I talked this over, because we were slightly dejected at first, but then we analyzed our situation from a more objective viewpoint. At the J.V. level, the game was played a lot rougher, so size and experience with this type of competition was a huge factor. That's why we ended up on the second string, behind two sophomores who played the same positions, but who had also been on the team the previous year. Now that we understood why we were on the second string, it just made us even more determined to work hard at practices and scrimmages, so we could earn a starting berth.

Our classes were going well, but I wasn't overly thrilled with my schedule. I longed for the good old days when Jordan and I were in the same classes, because he was always around when I needed him. He would be there to distract me whenever the class started to get boring, but he was also there to help me when I found the work too difficult to understand. I don't think any two people could have had a more perfect friendship and I've thanked God many times in the past for guiding our parents to move into houses near each other. This not only allowed us to meet, but it also enabled us to build the strong bonds and establish the closeness we now shared. I'm not sure what my life would have been like, if Jordan hadn't played a major part in it.

Jordan and I also found enough free time to put our moves on some new girls in school, even some that were slightly older than us. We'd concluded there was absolutely no reason for us to be constantly eating the same meal day after day when there was such a smorgasbord of available dishes out there to sample. That's when we decided to try to get a taste of as many of them as possible.

Neither of us had gotten laid yet, although we'd already done nearly everything else. We reasoned this particular and eagerly sought after goal would be attained eventually, so we weren't concerned with trying to force the issue, like some of the other guys. We knew it would happen in due course, and since our time was taken up with so many other activities, we had a variety of diversions to keep our minds off of sex. If that wasn't enough, then we also had each other to take off some of the edge in the mean time, so we refused to dwell on the fact that we still hadn't climbed Mt. Everest yet, so to speak.

Jordan's mother began to receive chemotherapy too, as well as getting radiation treatments. We were alarmed when she started to look poorly again, but it was explained to us that this was a typical occurrence for people who were going through chemo and radiation. When her hair began to fall out, she started to wear a kerchief wrapped around her head to make the problem less noticeable. Dad K offered to buy her a wig, but she refused and said this would be fine until her hair grew back again.

When my parents came to visit, my dad would attempt to make Mom K feel less self-conscious by telling her that she reminded him of his mother and grandmother, since they both used to wrap their heads in kerchiefs. He told her his mother and grandmother did this whenever they were working around the house, so it just appeared as if she'd had a busy day housecleaning. After hearing my dad's explanation, I dubbed Mom K the 'Italian Cleaning Lady' and we would all chuckle over our little insider joke.

By the fourth game of the football season, Jordan and I had both won starting positions on offense. The team was 1-2 by this point and the coach said it was time to shake up the lineup of our lackadaisical team. He told us that he'd been impressed with our play at the modified level, as well as what he'd seen in practices and scrimmages so far, so he was going to give us a chance to prove ourselves. We were extremely eager to show him we were capable of playing at this level, because we certainly didn't like riding the bench.

By the time the season ended, we were not only starting on the offensive squad, but we were also playing about fifty percent of the time on defense as well. Our team finished the football season with a 5-3 record, which wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either, considering our slow start. The coach claimed that Jordan and I were mainly responsible for turning the season around and informed us that he was looking forward to having us return the next year.

We were now ready to start basketball season and Jordan became the starting point guard for the J.V. squad, but I was only a backup forward. Jordan had grown three inches [7.5 cm] each of the past two years and was now 5'10" [1.78 m]. I, on the other hand, had only grown two inches [5 cm] the first year and then one inch [2.5 cm] the next, so I was only 5'11' [1.80 m] now. This meant I no longer had the height to play the forward position any longer, but I also didn't have the ball handling skills or outside shooting ability to play either guard position. I was, however, a battler and a slasher under the boards, so it was this ability, along with my hustle, which helped me make the team.

Throughout the season, I sat on the sidelines observing and cheering Jordan on, as he excelled as the team leader. I wasn't jealous in the least and got immense pleasure from watching him succeed. He did his best trying to help me keep my spirits up, but I eventually concluded that basketball wasn't going to be my game.

During this same period, Mom K was beginning to look very fragile, due to the cumulative effects of her ongoing treatments. Even though everyone kept telling us this was normal and her spirits remained very high, it was just difficult for us to see it the same way they did. Gradually, we adapted to it, although I can't say that we ever grew to accept it, so Jordan, Justin and I remained concerned about her recovery. Thinking it might help to alleviate our uncertainty, Dad K bought her a wig to wear, despite her objection. Although it made her look slightly better, it did little to assuage our lingering suspicions.

Whenever I would stay over at their house, Jordan and I would usually participate in more of our sexual practice sessions. I would often be the one that initiated these activities, but it wasn't because I wanted to have sex with Jordan. It was basically my way of distracting him from the worries he was harboring about his mother's health. We did the same things we'd done so many times before, but we always claimed we were just 'perfecting' our skills, as Jordan liked to say.

The biggest difference to our past interactions was that Jordan would sometimes work two or three fingers up my ass, instead of only one. After he would do that, he would usually joke that he wondered if his girlfriend would be this loose, but I didn't object. I was willing to do this for him, as long as it made him forget his other concerns for at least a little while. On occasion, he would also tease me and claim that I must feel as if I'd already had a baby, because I was so stretched out. Since I didn't want to be outdone and give him the upper hand, I would frequently do the same to him and use multiple fingers to ream his ass.

At the beginning of December, Mom K came down with pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital for a while. When Dad K finally was able to bring her home, so she'd be with the family on Christmas Day, she was completely bedridden and very weak. Christmas ended up being a very subdued celebration, because none of us were too upbeat with her looking and feeling so badly. I still spent the majority of my time at their house and my parents let me do this, so I could lend a helping hand and attempt to distract Jordan, Justin and Dad K from their concerns.

Beginning the day after Christmas, Dad K was constantly on the go and extremely busy. He had to take Mom K around to all of her numerous doctors' appointments, but he was also trying to do everything around the house and attempting to keep up with the demands of his business too. Jordan, Justin and I did everything we could to help out at home, because Dad K had so much on his plate that he was beginning to look nearly as run down as his wife. Seeing this, we all began to worry about him getting sick as well, so we did our best to help out as much as possible.

I could tell that Jordan was very depressed throughout the holidays too, even though he tried to put on a brave front and a good show for his friends and other relatives. It was also obvious that he was doing this mainly for Justin and his father's benefit, but I wasn't sure it was having the desired effect. I often wondered if they could see through his façade the same way I did and realized it was merely an act.

Since Jordan's Christmas hadn't been very merry, I was determined to help him have a better New Year. One way or another, I was going to find something that would help him enjoy this holiday like he should, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I had been sleeping with Jordan in his bed every night since before Christmas and he was having awful nightmares about his mother's situation. He would, without fail, startle me awake during the night with the vibrations from his tossing and turning or the sounds from his uncontrollable sobbing. Whenever this happened, I would hold and cuddle with him until he quieted down, but sometimes I would end up clinging to him until it was time to get up the following day.

After so many consecutive nights of this happening, I decided I needed to do something to help take his mind off of his mother's condition.

"Ok, dude. Are you ready for a little fun?" I asked, before we went to sleep.

"Not tonight. I'm not in the mood," he replied. This immediately caused me to laugh.

"Listen to yourself. We're beginning to sound like an old married couple," I teased. "Not tonight dear. I'm not in the mood. I have a headache."

He looked at me sternly, but then began to break up too, as my little joke began to sink in.

"All right. I guess it might help," he reluctantly agreed. "What did you have in mind?"

"Do you think you're ready for your first piece of ass?" I offered.

I really wasn't ready to do this and it went against every fiber in my being, but I was willing to do it for my best friend. I felt it might be the one thing that would bring Jordan out of his funk and give him a peaceful night's rest.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked, in total disbelief, as I nodded my consent.

He had positioned himself on his knees next to me when I first made the offer, so now he was staring at me intently, as he studied my expression.

"Are you really sure you want to do this?" Jordan pressed. "I know you've always been opposed to the idea of doing anything of this nature, so are you positive you want to do it now?"

"I am," I replied, verbally this time.

"You mean you'd really do this just for me?" he asked, in apparent disbelief.

"Of course I would," I confirmed. "Hey, what are best friends for, if they aren't willing to do whatever it takes to help each other? Besides, it's our holiday tradition to do something new sexually over the Christmas break. You just have to promise that you'll take it really easy on me and be very gentle, because I'm not into pain."

An enormous smile suddenly began to split Jordan's face and then he flung his arms around me and squeezed the air out of my lungs. At least for the moment I could see the sparkle re-ignite in his eyes. Besides, we've got this tradition thing to uphold.

"I love you Tony. You're awesome," Jordan gushed, as he released me. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I never believed we'd ever do this, because I knew how much you were against it. You're so freaking awesome, man. I mean it. I really, really love you, Tony."

"A little easy on this love talk, bro," I teased. "I don't want anyone thinking that we're switching teams and going all queer here or anything like that. This will have to be our secret and one we'll take with us to our graves. I'm only doing this for you, because I'd never do it for anyone else. You understand this, right?"

"Loud and clear, mon capitaine," Jordan replied. "Damn, you're the greatest."

"Yeah, enough talk, before I change my mind," I urged. "Grab the baby oil and let's get this over with."

Jordan immediately reached for the baby oil and pulled it out of his nightstand. Once he had it, he oiled up my hole by working first one, then two and finally three fingers into it. After he finished doing that, he greased up his rod, which was rock solid from just thinking about what he was going to do, and then he was ready to pop my cherry. He said he wanted to do it facing me, like he would with a girl, so he had me lie on my back and drape my legs over his shoulders. I was really apprehensive about what was to come, but what the hell! He was my best friend after all and hopefully this would make him forget about all of his other problems and concerns.

Carefully, Jordan poised his engorged member at the entrance to my love tunnel and told me to relax. Yeah, that's certainly easier said than done. Shortly after issuing that piece of advice, he started to apply some pressure and it wasn't long before the head of his penis penetrated the ring guarding the entrance. I winced in pain, as a slight burning sensation swept through my rectum when the helmet penetrated me for the first time, but I wasn't about to let Jordan know about it or stop him at this point. I'd just buck up and take one for God, country and my best friend.

Jordan had grown considerably in that area since we'd first started our sex games, so now he had nearly seven inches [18 cm] of hard boy tool beginning to penetrate an area that was basically designed as an exit. Even though his dick wasn't extremely plump, I still felt a small amount of discomfort as he continued to work it into me.

Jordan had eased nearly half of his rod into my cavern by this point, so he stopped and asked me how I was doing. Using the best show of bravado I could muster, I told him it was a stroll in the park. I think he saw through my little deception, but he still kept inching his woody into me until I could feel the front of his legs pressed against the back of my butt cheeks. Jordan stayed in this position and gave my tunnel time to adapt to his tool being in it, but when he felt I was ready, he began with long, slow strokes in my love canal.

I was shocked that the small amount of pain I had felt was slowly being replaced by waves of pleasure, especially when his penis brushed against my prostate as it glided in and out of my hole. The rhythm Jordan was using proved to be quite pleasurable for me and I was sure his future girlfriends were going to love being stroked by this handsome, young stud.

I heard myself moaning as the tingling and enjoyment overtook my body and I couldn't believe that this was making me feel this good. I'm not gay or some faggot's queen, and I was only doing this to help out a friend. That's all. This will probably be the only time I ever do it, because I was not going to be anybody's girlfriend or some guy's boyfriend. Let's get this straight. I ain't no fucking queer.

Jordan was hastening his pace and stroking me faster and faster as we continued. I knew he would soon be blowing his load up my chute and I was prepared for it to happen. The look on his face was priceless, as he prepared to make his first deposit ever in someone's love bank and I knew that my sacrifice was well worth whatever discomfort, pain or humiliation that it might have caused me. I just hoped it would fill him with pleasure, allow him to sleep soundly and make him forget his multitude of worries.

Jordan was now really getting into it and started to fuck like a bunny, in short rapid strokes. It was then that he arched his back, drove his dick into me as far as it would go and sprayed my slightly raw lining with his hot boy spunk. Several bursts of jizm filled my intestinal tract as Jordan reveled in the pleasures he'd just received, lost in the afterglow of his virgin fuck. He was completely spent and collapsed on the bed next to me, as his chest heaved in the lasting excitement of the moment. I was also worn out from this sexual workout and elected to just lie on the bed next to my best friend, as I waited for him to come down from his orgasmic high.

Jordan remained motionless for several minutes, before he rolled over, looked me in the eye and spoke.

"I knew fucking was going to be great, but that was totally unbelieeeeeeeevable. Tony, you are the absolute greatest friend ever. I love you, man. I really, really love you."

"You're welcome, but let's cut out this love shit, ok? This isn't a bromance. I only did this to help a friend and I will never do this for anyone else. I hope you enjoyed it, because we'll probably never do this again. Are we clear."

"Perfectly, but I still love you. You're the greatest friend in the world. It's your turn now. Go ahead and get me ready."

"Jordan, you don't have to do this," I responded. "It's not necessary."

"I know, but I want to do this for you too," he stated. "If I knew that you weren't going to let me return the favor, then I would never have agreed to do it with you in the first place. You've been so great about all of this, so don't make me feel guilty now, by not letting me do the same thing for you."

After saying this, he flashed me that patented pleading look of his. I tried to turn away and ignore him, but he reached over and pulled my face back toward his own. After looking at that pathetic puss of his, I eventually acquiesced, once more, and let my friend have his way.

Jordan tossed me the bottle of baby oil and rolled over onto his back. I lubed up his hole and my pole, the same way he had done to me earlier, and then I positioned my throbbing cock in front of his bull's-eye. I must admit that even though it wasn't what I'd always pictured about losing my virginity, I was quite excited about my first piece of ass, even if it was my male best friend and not a girl.

I slowly started to apply a slight pressure against his anal opening, as I attempted to push my dickhead past the firm ring of his rosebud. My effort was rewarded by the sudden surrender of his sphincter and the tip of my dick entered his butt for the first time. I immediately looked into his eyes, to see if he was suffering any pain, but he seemed to be doing fine. I paused just the same, to allow his body time to adjust, before I continued the assault with my 7.75" [19.7 cm] fairly thick, weapon.

When I felt he was ready, I started to work my prick further up his tunnel until I rested, balls deep, into his satiny, smooth hole. I then gave him time adjust to the size of the intruder, before I began to withdraw and then redeposit my throbbing cock in his virgin ass. I tried to keep a slow, steady pace, as Jordan had done, but I was too overcome with the pleasure and started to ravage his asshole with quicker and quicker strokes.

I never thought fucking a guy would feel this good. I'd always considered it sick and disgusting, but this wasn't bad at all. I quickly became lost in the pleasures that was shooting throughout my body and gradually overtook me completely, so I began to jackhammer into his bunghole. He was so tight and smooth that I could feel his lining slowly milking me and enticing my testicles and prostate to produce my love juices. All of this was sending me over the edge and I could feel the boiling down deep in my loins, which was informing me I would soon be forced to empty my semen into his bowels.

I was now stroking in and out of him so fast that my cock was only a blur and I had left the realm of virgin males, never to return again. Those electrical sensations were flooding throughout my body, as my climax engulfed me, so I stiffened, arched my back and drove my penis into my friend, as far as it would go. I remember screaming aloud as my scalding boyhood exploded from my prick and flooded my partner's channel. My head was spinning and my eyes were temporarily blinded, as brilliant flashes of colors and shapes whirled in my mind. As soon as the last of my juices had been drained into him, I slumped forward, on top of Jordan with my cock still buried deep inside his ass. I remained completely motionless, until Jordan finally managed to get my attention.

"I hate to disturb you, dude, but you're crushing me," he wheezed. "You're going to have to get off of me before I suffocate or you smash something that I might need later."

"Sorry," I apologized, as I rolled off of him. My cock made a 'plopping' noise as it was forced out of its pleasure giving home. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It wasn't that bad," he conceded. "So, how did you enjoy it?"

"It was fucking incredible, Jordan, absolutely incredible," I confirmed. "Thank you for talking me into doing it to you. Only a best friend like you would ever think of my pleasure over his own. Thanks again, bud. You're terrific."

"You're welcome, but I had a great teacher," he teased. "You're the one who taught me that I could get more out of pleasing a friend than I could out of trying to please myself. You've always been there for me, even when it was hard on you, and I wouldn't think of doing anything less in return. This was to reward you for the loyalty and devotion you've shown me in everything that you do. You're my hero, my role model and my best friend. Anything I am or anything that I do is because of you."

"Hey, we're good friends and all, but don't go overboard. You've always been the other half of my soul, my brother in spirit, if not in blood, and I wouldn't feel complete or satisfied unless you were happy and enjoying life. Now, that's more than enough of that. Let's get some sleep so we can help your parents tomorrow, because there's still a lot of work to do."

We went to sleep, and sometime during the night I felt Jordan's arm drape itself over my chest, as he kissed me on the cheek. Actually, I thought that was a perfect ending to a wonderful day.

When our vacation ended, we returned to school. It wasn't long after that before the basketball season finished up, with us having a record of 10-2. I didn't feel as if I had much to do with the team's success, but Jordan managed to have another fine season. I don't think anyone was surprised though, because we've all come to expect that from such a terrific athlete.

As the winter started to fade, we all began to look forward to spring. I was walking the two brothers home one day in mid-March and when we entered the house, we discovered their father crying in the living room. He must not have heard us enter, because he quickly turned away and tried to dry his tears, as he made himself look presentable.

"Come in, boys, and sit down," he greeted us, although none of us were fooled by his sudden transformation. "I need to speak with you."

"What's up, Dad?" Justin inquired.

"Yeah, what is it? What's wrong?" Jordan followed.

"Just listen, because I need to tell you something," he stated. His eyes were red and puffy, but I could tell he was also fighting to maintain his composure. "I'm sorry, boys, but your mother is… well… she's gone."

As soon as he said this, he started weeping again.

"Gone? You mean like in dead?" Jordan screamed, but his father could only nod in the affirmative. "But how? Why?"

We were all crying now. No, to be more precise, we were actually bawling hysterically after hearing this news. We thought she was getting better, so this came as a total surprise.

"The doctors said," Dad K began, his voice cracking with emotion, "that there was more cancer ravaging her body and she just couldn't fight it any longer. Your mom had a heart attack about an hour ago and left us. She's at peace now and her suffering has finally ended. She's in heaven with God and we'll all see her again, sometime in the future."

"But… but…" Jordan started, except he wasn't able to finish his thought.

Instead, he began bawling even harder than I had ever seen him cry before, not that I've ever seen Jordan cry very often. I wrapped my arms around him and drew him against my chest. I was trying to comfort him, but I had absolutely no idea what I should do. I looked over his shoulder to see his father holding Justin in the same fashion, as the room filled with falling tears and the sounds of uncontrollable sobbing from four grief stricken males. We all felt totally helpless and sooo alone. How could this happen? She had seemed to be doing so much better, so how could God take her from us now, after everything we'd been through?

Later, after things had begun to settle down a bit, I called my parents and told them the news. They already knew about Mom K, because they'd heard the news from a friend who worked at the hospital, so I asked if I could stay with Dad K and the boys and do what I could try to help them through this. My parents agreed, without hesitation, and my mother said she would pack some clothes up and have my father drop them off for me.

I was about to thank her for doing this, but she thanked me instead. She then went on to tell me I was a good son and an even better friend, so she was very proud of me. My dad dropped my things off about an hour later, along with some food for our evening meal, but none of us felt much like eating and only picked at the food. Even though I was really sad, I was also very proud of my parents for their generous gesture to help a grieving family of friends.

That night, I asked both boys to sleep with me, since I knew Dad K needed some time alone to work things out for himself. We crawled into bed, with one on either side of me, and I wrapped my arms around their bodies and pulled them against me. They each had one arm draped across my chest, as they reached across to touch their brother in a comforting fashion. All I could do was to hold them tightly to me, as I attempted to let them know they were not alone. I was hoping this would combine our strength together and help see us through the darkest period of our young lives.

Even after we awoke, I tried to do everything I could for them. I led them to the toilet and waited for them until they were finished and I also had to dish their food out for them when we ate or otherwise they probably would have gone hungry. The boys were in such a complete daze that I actually had to get into the shower with each one and help clean them up for the calling hours and the funeral. I also had to help them get dressed and tied their shoes and ties before we left.

I stayed by their sides nearly every minute we were at the funeral parlor as well. Every time they looked at the casket they would start sobbing again and I would try to comfort them, as best I could. Even though I was feeling as badly as they were, I knew I had to be strong for them and be the rock on which they could depend for stability. Those few days, from the time we first were told about Mom K's death and up until the funeral, were by far the longest three days of my life.

I sat between Jordan and Justin at the church, while the priest delivered the eulogy, and I also stood beside them at the cemetery, during the graveside service. They both swayed back and forth as the service was conducted, since their knees were failing them, due to their grief and lack of decent sleep. This was, by far, the worst time for the boys throughout the entire three days and the two of them totally lost it when the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground. It was as if that small action had brought the reality of the situation crashing into their consciousness and weighing on their souls.

I rode with them back to their house and led them directly to Jordan's room. They needed to avoid contact with all of the guests that were wandering through the house to express their condolences, while idly chatting and eating the food that so many others had provided. I realized it was not something the boys would appreciate or benefit from, so I felt it would be better if they avoided the sympathy the others would try to offer. That kind of contact would only remind them of the fact that their mother was gone for good and re-ignite their grief.

Once we were alone, I helped them out of their suits and into more comfortable clothing, before I cuddled with them on the large bed. They clung to me, like tape to paper, as I kept telling them that everything would be all right and the pain would eventually go away. We stayed like this until the following morning, while only breaking from our group embrace to occasionally take toilet breaks or long enough for me to make them take a drink or have a bite to eat. These two were truly my brothers, now more than ever.

We all stayed out of school for over a week, until I was able to convince them that their mother would have been the first one to urge them to resume their lives. With great trepidation, they took their first baby-steps back to reestablishing a normal life again, but this time without their mother around. Dad K went back to work too, but his foreman was pretty much running the show and trying to take as much pressure away from him as he could. I ended up staying at their house for nearly a month, before I finally returned to my own bed.

I did talk Jordan into playing baseball after we returned, but our hearts just weren't in it. I even talked the coach into letting Justin become the team manager, so he could be with us every day too, where I could watch over him as well. We had a mediocre season and won only half of our games, but I thought it was important for both boys to get out of the house as much as possible. There were just too many memories linked to the house that caused painful flashbacks and these mental reminders only served to punctuate their enormous loss.

Summer was nearly upon us when I began to notice the first smiles beginning to spread across Jordan and Justin's faces, as they slowly let the burdens of grief lift from their souls. Ever so slowly, they were on their way back to their normal selves, since they had dealt with their loss, worked their way through the various stages of grief and were now nearly reconciled with what happened. Gradually, the color returned to their cheeks, the sparkle came back to their eyes and their hearts accepted the inevitability of their loss. Dad K, however, wasn't bouncing back quite as quickly, or as easily, as his sons.

Another school year had ended and our summer vacation had begun. Jordan and I went back to work for his father, although we didn't see Dad K around very much at work, but his foreman took good care of us. They were building another house, but it was different enough from the Koontz's house that it didn't rekindle any old memories. I was staying at my house during the week and only spent weekends with Jordan. The boys were almost back to normal too, but their dad was still extremely depressed and had lost most of his old spark. I figured he just needed a little longer time to get over his grief, since he had been with Mom K longer and they had meant so much to each other.

Weekends, however, were spent participating in many of our old activities. Jordan and I played ball with our friends, hung out at the mall and the arcade, took dates to the movies and we went to basketball camp again. Speaking of camp, it was held in July this year because some of the coaches had to juggle it around other commitments. Near the end of July, my dad drove us there and took us in when we registered. The same guy was at the registration table, the one who had been so good to us the previous summer, and he must have remembered our situation from back then. For that reason, he assigned us to share a room again, which was definitely against policy. Those in charge of the clinic wanted the participants to team up with a stranger, so they could broaden their social development, as well as their basketball skills. Jordan and I, however, weren't about to complain about him allowing us to be in with each other again.

I had originally thought about not going to camp this year, now that I'd decided basketball wasn't my sport, but Jordan talked me into doing it, of course. He told me that I should come and try to develop my ball handling and outside shooting skills, since he was hoping we might end up being the point and shooting guards this season. Jordan would be the point guard, but he was hoping I could improve enough to be the shooting guard. I doubted I'd ever get to be good enough for that, but Jordan said he'd work with me too, even after we returned home. I figured what the hell have I got to lose, except what it cost me to attend the camp, but if it makes Jordan happy, so much the better.

The coaches worked me really hard and spent a great deal of individual time trying to improve my shooting skills. I was very happy they were doing this, and I showed considerable progress in both shooting and my ball handling skills. I even received a lot of praise from the coaching staff for my effort and a whole bunch of smiles from Jordan, as he also reveled in my success. I might not be a starting guard, but now I think I can help the team at this position more than I did last year at the forward spot.

On the evenings when nothing else was planned, Jordan would take me down to the gym, so he could work with me some more. We would also play on the same team during pick-up games, when the other gym rats showed up. I guess he was paying me back for my bench support during last season, as well as what I had done for him after his mother died.

All too soon, the camp came to a close. In my final evaluation, the coaches told me that if I kept up the hard work, like I had at camp, then I had the potential to become a decent guard. Now mind you, he said decent guard, not a great or outstanding guard, but for me that was good enough. I didn't have to sit in on Jordan's evaluation to realize the coaches most likely categorized him as being in the later group, outstanding guard, but I was thrilled for him. I was also proud that he was my best friend.

My dad picked us up on Sunday morning and we went back to work the following Monday. A couple of weekends later, I was staying over with Jordan, as usual, but we hadn't done much of anything of a sexual nature since I gave him my butt, shortly before his mother died. He seemed cool with it and so was I, and we went to bed that night, sleeping side by side, as we usually did. We started out talking about camp, work, school, friends and a whole bunch of other things, since neither of us was ready to fall asleep.

About an hour had passed and we were still talking, when I realized I was getting tired. I told Jordan that I wanted to get some rest, and before I knew what was happening, he threw his arm across my chest, placed his hands on both sides of my face, pulled my head toward him and gave me a long, passionate kiss. I was completely shocked, but I remained in control and didn't over react, until I felt his tongue trying to pry open my clasped lips. At that point, I broke from his grasp, got out of bed and just stood there staring at him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing," I screamed, slightly upset by his actions.

"Calm down, Tony. I was only trying to give you a little kiss," he reasoned.

"That wasn't a little kiss," I countered. "When the tongue gets involved, that's more than a little kiss."

"But I love you, Tony, and I just wanted to show you how much," he practically whined.

"Hey, what have I told you about this love talk, Jordan. I mean, I love you like a brother, but brothers don't kiss the way you were trying to kiss me. I'm not into bromances, so I hope you aren't going queer on me. Are you?"

Jordan looked down at the bed and didn't answer me right away. He was fiddling with the bedding and his head swayed almost imperceptibly from side to side. After a really long pause, he finally answered me.

"What if I was?" he offered. "I love you, Tony, and I just want to show you that."

"I told you before, I ain't doing none of that fag shit," I reminded him. "I ain't a goddamn homo."

"But all those things we've done to and for each other, doesn't that…" I cut him off before he finished his comment, because I didn't want to hear where this was going.

"Look, bud. I did those things for you as a friend, not as a lover," I explained. "I told you repeatedly that I wasn't gay and those were probably the only times I would do that shit with you. I told you, up front, that I wasn't going to be any guy's boyfriend and I definitely haven't changed my mind. I only did it to help you out and to try to lift your spirits when you were down. I told you before that no one's ever going to call me a fag."

"I can't help myself, Tony. I love you," he stated, and it nearly sounded as if he was pleading with me. "I've loved you for the longest time and want to be with you. I want to be near you and I want to show you my love."

"Hey, man, I don't want to hear any more talk like this," I warned him. "If you can't get your shit together, then I'm out of here."

"You mean… you mean that… you'd leave me?" he responded, with his eyes the size of saucers.

"Damn straight I would," I confirmed. "Unless you get out of this queer mode that you're in and quickly, then I'm out of here."

"But I love…" I cut him off again.

"Look, dude. It was fun while it lasted, but we're not doing any more of that gay stuff. Is that clear?" I pressed. "I like you as a friend and you're just like a brother to me, but I want to leave it at that. If you can accept this and see we're brothers, not lovers, then we're cool. If you can't, then I'm gone."

Jordan started to cry and he slumped down on the bed. The tears were streaming down his cheeks and his face had the saddest expression I've ever seen. I mean I've seen Jordan sad before, but never like this. It made me wonder what the hell was going on in his mind. He's not queer. Hell, we double date all the time, with girls that is, and I've seen him make out before. He's not queer, so what's come over him all of the sudden?

"I don't… Tony, I… well, I… don't know… if I can," he stammered as he leapt off the bed.

He then walked around to where I was standing and tried to hug me again. I wasn't sure if I should let him, but brothers hug, so I didn't push him away.

"Jordan, listen to me bud. You're not gay," I stated, as strongly as I could. "You know it and I know it. I don't understand why you're doing this. What the hell is going on?"

"Tony, I… I…" he was struggling to say something, but couldn't get the words to come out. He just kept looking at me, making sad faces, but he wasn't able to say a word.

"What Jordan? What is it? Just tell me and I'll try to understand and help you," I offered. "I can't do that though, if you're going to get all gushy and go faggy on me."

He struggled with this a while longer, but I wasn't sure if he was organizing his thoughts or if he was trying to find the courage to speak, but he finally spit it out.

"Tony, I am gay," he blurted out, but then turned slightly away from me as he continued speaking. "I'm gay and I've know it for a while now. I also love you. Damn it. There I've said it. That's the way I feel and there is nothing I can do to change it."

"Come on, man. Quit pulling my leg," I countered. "You're not gay. You date and make out with girls. You're just trying to fool your old buddy here and playing a joke on me, aren't you?"

"No, Tony, I'm not. I've already fooled people by making them think I'm straight, but I'm gay," he replied. "I've known it since we were little and I've finally accepted the fact. I've known since fifth grade that I was attracted to boys, mainly you, but I haven't been able to admit it to anyone other than myself until now. Going out with those girls was just a cover, so no one would guess I was gay. Why do you think I talked you into doing all of those things with me over the past few years? Look, because I knew I was gay, I realized that making it sound like we were just practicing for the girls was the only way I could talk you into having sex with me. Even though I wasn't being completely honest, it was the only way I knew that would allow us to make love to each other."

"What?" my mouth dropped open and I fumbled with my thoughts. "I thought… well… I thought we were just practicing for our girlfriends. I didn't know you felt that way, because if I did, it would never have happened. None of it!"

Jordan was looking at the floor as I was speaking to him, but he continued to do the same thing as he responded to me.

"I know. That's why I told you all those things, so you would do that stuff with me," he confessed. "All I really wanted was to make love to you."

"Are you fucking out of your mind?" I screeched. "You're telling me you got me to do all of that fag shit with you just so you could… you know… fuck me?"

He was still looking at the floor.

"Basically, but I wanted to do all that other stuff with you too," he answered meekly.

"You sick bastard. You sick fucking bastard!" I screamed. "Get the fuck away from me and don't ever come near me again. I'm getting my things together and leaving. I don't ever want you to try to speak to me or get near me again! Do you understand?"

"But Tony I love you," he protested.

I didn't want to hear any more, so I held up my hand in front of his face, to let him know I didn't want him to say another word. When I lowered my arm, he spoke again.

"But what about sports?" he wondered.

"Maybe I won't fucking play any fucking sports," I replied. "If I do, then we are to stay clear of each other. I'll talk to you just enough to play the game, but you are stay away from me at all other times, especially in the showers. I'm not your fucking friend any more and I'm definitely not your fag lover."

"But Tony…" he whined, but I cut him off.

"No more fucking buts… of any kind," I responded. "I'm gone, dude, so keep the fuck away from me."

I grabbed my things and was out the door in a flash. I could hear Jordan calling to me from behind, but I ignored him. Did he really think I would go for that shit? I'd told him all along that I wasn't queer, so why would he ever think I'd go along with it? He is one sick motherfucker.

I walked home in the dark, but I didn't go into the house, since I didn't want to explain to my parents about why I came home in the middle of the night. Instead, I ended up sleeping on a lounge chair in the backyard, but I moved it to a spot where they most likely wouldn't notice me. The next morning, I waited until after my parents went to work before I went inside, but I wasn't about to go back to Jordan's house again.

I avoided him at work and asked the foreman to please work us on different jobs. He looked very confused, since he knew how close we had always been, but he told me if that's what I wanted, then that's what he'd do. My parents kept asking me what was wrong and why we weren't spending time with each other, but I couldn't tell them either. How the hell could I let anyone know that I let Jordan talk me into doing all that faggy shit with him? God, I'd die if anyone ever found out!

When school started again in the fall, I was actually thankful that we wouldn't have any of the same classes this year. The only period we had in common was lunch, so I'd always sit on the other side of the cafeteria from where he was, but I often caught him looking at me. God, he looked so sad and pathetic and I had to admit that I missed him terribly. We had always been friends and I felt badly for him, and even though I wanted to make him feel better, I wasn't going to become a fag and do any of that queer shit with him again.

Football was even tougher on us. The coach wanted Jordan and me to be team captains, but I refused. In order to explain this, I simply told the coach that I had too many other responsibilities to take on that role. I said I needed the extra time to keep up with my studies and couldn't be responsible for keeping my teammates in line or trying to get them psyched up for the games. He said he was disappointed, but understood, and he honored my request.

During calisthenics I would line up on the opposite side of the group, the side away from Jordan. Being the captain he was always out in front so it wasn't hard to avoid him. Then, after practices, I would hold back and let everyone else use the locker room first, so Jordan was usually gone by the time that I entered the shower. One day he waited and tried to speak with me, but I told him to just go away and leave me alone. I left him standing there, pleading with me, as I went to the showers.

When I came back from cleaning up, the place was totally empty except for Jordan. He was sitting in the far corner of the locker room, crying his eyes out and occasionally glancing up to see if I'd had a change of heart. I couldn't help but feel badly and wondered how I could hurt him this way, especially after how close we'd been. The problem was, I couldn't encourage his fantasies either, could I? If he wanted to be friends, then he just had to give up this homo phase that he was going through first.

After one of our games, Justin, not Jordan, cornered me and wanted to talk.

"Tony. Where have you been hiding?" he wanted to know.

"Oh, around," I answered, evasively.

"Why don't you come over any more?" he pressed. "Did you and Jordy have a fight? You did, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I responded, cryptically.

"What about?" he wondered.

"That's just between your brother and me," I told him.

"You know he's really hurting," Justin explained. "He spends almost all of his time alone in his room and a lot of times I can hear him crying in there."

"I'm truly sorry about that, Justin, but there's nothing I can do about it," I replied. "Maybe some day we can patch things up, but not right now."

"You mean it was that bad that you can't forgive him?" Justin countered, since he couldn't believe anything could be that bad that we couldn't make up.

"Not yet, but maybe in the future," I offered, hoping he'd let this drop.

"But I miss you too and dad's been asking where you've been," Justin continued.

"I'm really sorry about that. I truly am," I offered. "You know, Justin, you can always come down and stay with me at my house any time you want. Please tell your dad that I said hi and maybe we can get together some time too."

"Tony, you know I couldn't come down to stay with you and leave Jordan alone," he reasoned, "especially the way he's acting now. As much as I'd love to see you and hang out with you, I couldn't hurt Jordy like that. What happened with you two? When mom died, well… we wouldn't have survived without you. You were so strong and I remember all of those nights that you held us and made us feel loved. Even dad couldn't do that for us, because he was hurting so much himself. What could Jordan have possibly done that would make you hate him so much that you would turn your back on all of us? Damn, you're like my brother and I want to spend time with both of my brothers, not just one at a time."

"Justin, I'm not turning my back on all of you, it's… well… it's just that I can't talk about it or deal with it right now," I told him. "This is really hard on me too. Maybe some day I'll be able to make things better, but not now. Look, little bro, you can still count on me if you need anything, but for now Jordan and I have to stay apart until we work this out. We're all still family and that won't change, but we just can't be around each other at the moment."

"But how can you work things out if you two aren't spending any time together or speaking to each other?" Justin pointed out.

"We just have to work things out in our minds first," I offered. "Just don't worry about it, Justin, and I'll see you around. I love you, little brother."

What did I just say? Did I tell Justin I loved him? Well, I guess I do… like a brother, but I've got to cut that shit out or I'm going to start sounding like Jordan.

Football season ended and we finished up at 6-2. Jordan's heart was never into the season, and if our team hadn't been so much stronger and better than some of the other teams, we might have done even worse. During lunch hour, I noticed that this other kid, I think his name is Brian Bowers, started to sit with Jordan and I'd heard rumors, as far back as 7th grade, that he was gay. I guess maybe Jordan has found himself a new boyfriend, so maybe this will perk him up and he can stop sulking after me.

Basketball season started, and believe it or not, I actually made the team. Jordan was, now, a little over 6' [1.83 m] tall but I was still 5' 11" [1.80 m]. I went out for the team thinking I would be cut, so I wouldn't have to deal with this. The coach, however, had been impressed with my improvement, so I was the back-up shooting guard. Actually, I was proud that I had done as well as I had and pleased that my hard work had paid off. In fact, the coach told me that, if I kept improving, I could even get to be the starting shooting guard before the end of the season. I never would have believed that a year ago.

It was a lot harder to avoid Jordan during basketball than it had been during football, but that was mainly due to the fact there were a lot fewer players. This meant I wasn't able to put a bunch of bodies between us, but he seemed to have accepted our split and hadn't approached me since the locker room incident in football. I could tell he still was hurting though, because his heart wasn't into basketball either and there was a chance he might even lose his starting position. I really felt bad seeing him like this, but I just couldn't see any way I could make him feel better without making him think that I was changing my mind and leading him on. There was no other way to do it, other than just keep my distance from him. It was the only way I could deal with his homosexuality and feelings for me.

I also started dating this really cute girl during basketball season too. Her name was Amber Jones. She was about 5'5" [1.65 m], blond hair cut short, blue eyes and a perfect smile. She also had blemish free, smooth skin that was a golden tan, and a fantastic body with nice firm tits. She was also really funny and had a great personality. We also had a couple of classes together, including lunch, so I got to see her quite often during the school day. In addition to her other qualities, she was also a female jock. She played on the girls' soccer, volleyball and tennis teams. Hey, those aren't my sports, but maybe we'd be able to find a common sport where we could exercise together, if you get my drift.

We were currently heading into the holidays and I knew we'd all be facing some tough times ahead. I couldn't remember ever spending a holiday without being with Jordan's family and I knew they hadn't spent one without me either. I was already dreading the long holiday break, even more so since I found out that Amber was going to be gone the entire time. Her family had recently moved here from another state and her father had taken his vacation over Christmas break, so they could fly back and spend the holiday with their relatives. They were leaving the day before Christmas and wouldn't be back until late New Year's Day. This could turn out to be a very sad and extremely lonely Christmas.

I wouldn't be totally alone though, because I'd still be with my parents, but due to their work schedules, we'd probably only spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, along with New Year's Eve and New Year's Day with each other. That would leave all the in between times for me to be by myself, at least until they arrived home from work. Damn, I was getting depressed already and the holiday hadn't even started yet. I guess I'd have to talk to some of my other friends at school to see what they had planned, so I might be able to work my way into some of their activities.

Oh, God. There's Jordan, sitting at a cafeteria table with Brian, but he's staring at me. Why can't he just give up and leave me alone?

I was right. Christmas was a real bummer. I've never been so depressed or felt so alone as I did during the week between Christmas and New Year's. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I was glad the holidays were over and school was starting again.

The first weekend after Christmas break, I took Amber to the school dance and we were able to slip away for a while. We started out with some passionate kissing and doing the old tongue tango, which got really serious and quite heavy. While we were kissing, I slipped my hand under her sweater and was able to feel her tits without her complaining. She wasn't wearing a bra that night either, which I can only guess she did on purpose, so it was all bare skin under my explorative touch.

I guess my feeling her up must have given her courage level a boost, because the next thing I knew she was stroking my hard cock through my jeans. Man, I almost shot my load right there. Even though we were both enjoying ourselves, all good things must come to an end and we realized we had to get back to the dance before we were missed. I left that session hoping we could even go a step further on our next date.

We went back into the dance and they were playing a slow song, so I grabbed her in my arms and held her as closely as I could. When that song ended, they played a faster song and we stayed on the dance floor. I watched her every move closely and began to realize that she looked like Jordan had when we were in 7th grade. Her coloring, smile, attitude and even her personality were just like his. Wait, why the hell was I thinking about him at a time like this?

Was I actually comparing my girlfriend to my former best friend? Was it possible that I started dating Amber because she was a female copy of Jordan? Did I do this subconsciously or was it merely a coincidence? Even if I did it subconsciously, what would it actually mean? Would it tell me that I really wanted to be with Jordan or would it mean I missed him so much that I was merely trying to duplicate him? My mind was reeling from all of these thoughts, so I decided it was time to shift my focus to something else, before I totally lost it.

The dance ended, but I couldn't walk Amber home, because her dad was picking her up in front of the school. Oh, well, maybe next time. Anyway, I started walking to my house and the entire time all I could think about was how much she looked like Jordan. Hell, she could have even passed for his twin sister. Man, this was getting really strange and even a little spooky. Why was I still thinking about him? Why couldn't I get him out of my mind?

A couple of weeks later, after a basketball practice, I heard some interesting news. It seemed the word was out that Brian Bowers and most of the school knew he was definitely gay. I guess it happened when he was taking one of his books out of his backpack in class when a magazine fell out of it and landed on the floor. It turned out to be a gay magazine, which was filled with all kinds of pictures of scantily clad guys, and I guess everybody that sat near him saw it before he could stuff it back into his backpack. They quickly informed the others in the class about it, so before long everyone in the room knew about him.

They said he turned a glowing red for the rest of the period and even tried to slink down in his seat, as everyone else either stared at him or started to talk about what had happened. From what I could tell, almost everyone at school knew about this now, so Jordan had better stay aloof and keep away from Brian or everyone was going to find out about him too. I'd never say anything about him myself, because I realized how miserable some of these pricks could be if they thought someone was gay. I'd never want to be the one to cause Jordan to go through that kind of pain or humiliation, even if he was queer.

Basketball season finally ended and we finished the season 10-4, but I never got the starting guard job. I played a lot more during the final games of the season though, so I guess the coach felt I had been improving. In fact, my outside shooting was getting better all the time, but I still had to work on my ball handling some more.

Jordan didn't lose his starting spot either, but his playing time got reduced considerably. In the past, he had played nearly every minute of every game, but by the end of the season he was getting a healthy breather in the middle of both halves. I'm not sure if it bothered him though, because most of the time he acted as if he didn't even want to be there and that definitely wasn't like Jordan. He had always been so competitive that everything we did turned into a contest, from who could get ready for bed first to who woke up earliest the next morning. He had always been so competitive in everything he did that it was hard for me to see him losing his edge.

Things started getting worse for Brian as well. Some of the upperclassmen decided it was their duty to torture the 'little fag boy,' so when he was in the hall they'd knock him into other people or shove him into the lockers. In the cafeteria, they would trip him or knock his tray out of his hands, and even though I was disgusted watching this, I didn't do anything to stop them. I actually wanted to help Brian out, but I knew his tormentors would turn on me instead and think I was a fag too. Even if the kid was gay, he still didn't deserve to be treated this way.

I noticed he and Jordan weren't sitting together at lunch any longer and eventually I didn't see Brian during the lunch hour at all. I guess he decided it would be safer to go home for lunch or eat out. I couldn't blame him though, but it just encouraged the assholes to be even more merciless to him in the hallways. If it got any worse, he was going to need an armed escort just to get to and from class. I even heard that one of those creeps beat him up one day after school and claimed that Brian tried to hit on him and wouldn't take no for an answer. Hardly anyone believed that story though and most people thought it was just an excuse to beat up the queer. There were a growing number of people who were becoming disgusted with the antics of these upperclassmen, but nobody seemed to have the balls to stand up to them. For Brian's sake, I hoped that someone would and soon.

Getting back to Amber, things were progressing very nicely for us, although there were some problems. First of all, we had to learn to deal with the fact that her parents were kind of strict and didn't want to give us a lot of time to do things alone. We tried to neutralize this fact by helping them get to know me better. I even agreed to go to her house to her house to meet her parents and had taken her home to meet mine.

My mother loved her and told me Amber was not only very cute, but she was also happy that I had found such a nice, young girl. My father gave me the sign that he approved of her and I even noticed him staring at Amber a lot. In fact, I think that if my father had been my age, he would have tried to cut in on my action. Wouldn't that have been weird?

Anyway, Amber told me she would be spending the next weekend staying with one of her girl friends, Nicole. It seemed that Nicole's parents were going out of town for the weekend, although Amber hadn't shared that fact with her parents. Nicole was inviting her boyfriend over and Amber wanted me to come by too. That would leave all of us alone in Nicole's house to do whatever we wanted, so it was a definite date for Saturday.

Every time I looked at Amber, I still couldn't get it out of my mind how much she looked like Jordan, so maybe it was what first attracted me to her. I really couldn't remember what I had been thinking about at the time, but I was sort of missing my best friend, so possibly I did use her to fill the void. I really liked her though and I guess I was hoping that I was going to get laid for the first time on Saturday. I mean my first time with a girl, because that time with Jordan doesn't count - no way, no how.

That Friday in school, one of the juniors did stand up to one of the senior bullies when he was shoving Brian around. As I suspected though, the senior ended up beating the junior to a pulp and called him a faggot lover, butt fucker and a few other choice names as he was doing so. I'll give the junior an A for guts, but he failed when it came to smarts. The senior got suspended from school for that stunt though, and there was a chance he might even be expelled for fighting. No matter what the school board did to him, however, it still left the rest of his group, so they'd probably be even tougher on Brian, as a way to exact revenge for their friend's misfortune.

When Saturday night rolled around, I headed over to Nicole's house for my date. Man, I was horny just thinking about it. The night started off slowly, but I didn't let my hopes wane. We started out by sitting around eating pizza and drinking sodas, before Nicole put this 'chick flick' in the DVD. It didn't seem to matter that neither her boyfriend nor I were interested in the movie though, because the girls thought it was the greatest. We sat through the entire thing and then each of us couples started to make out. Finally! It wasn't long after that before I noticed Nicole and her boyfriend had disappeared, which made me think they went to her bedroom for some fun, so Amber and I snuck down to the basement recreation room for some privacy. It did seem appropriate, since I thought we might get in a little workout of sorts.

The light switch was on a dimmer, so we put it on very low, until there was just enough light that we wouldn't trip over things. We started to make out and our hands were all over each other. We were kissing hard and my tongue was doing a dance across the inside of her mouth, as I let my oral muscle explore all those areas that had just opened up to me. Amber was trying to do the same thing, and during this time I started to lift her sweater up and over her head. We only broke our kiss long enough to get it off and then I resumed kissing her all around the face, before I began nibbling on her ear lobes and the soft underside of her neck.

Gradually, I worked my way down to her chest and moved to her pert breasts. I had a hell of a time undoing her bra, and after a heroic struggle, I got it off and dove for her nipple. I flicked my tongue out at it, as I had done with Jordan in the past. Damn! There I go again. Right in the middle of making out with Amber, I started thinking about Jordan again, when I shouldn't have anything on my mind except my girlfriend and the pleasures we were enjoying. But wham – there was Jordan butting into my thoughts and popping up at the strangest moments. How was I going to get him out of my mind, once and for all? I'll have to think this out later, but for now it was time for me to get back to work.

I started to suck on her tits again, just like a nursing infant. After I'd finished licking and sucking on both of her tits, she removed my shirt as well. Her hands roamed freely over both my chest and my back, as we rubbed our bare flesh against each other. I got bold and reached down and unsnapped her jeans and let my hand slide down under the waistband and into her panties. My middle finger slid lower, worked its way thru her pubes and was gliding up and down over the lips of her pussy.

Gradually, I let my finger work its way into her tunnel, as I eagerly played with her clit, before I began to finger fuck her. This seemed to embolden her and she reached over and unfastened my jeans as well and let her hand reach inside, past the elastic top of my boxer briefs and grasped my iron rod, which was already leaking with pre-cum. She started to stroke it up and down and we did this for another minute or so, before we stood up and discarded the remainder of our clothing. We then lowered our bodies back down to the floor, before I swung around into a 69 position with her.

I didn't hesitate at all and began licking my way up her thighs, heading for her snatch. It took her a few seconds to catch on to what I was doing, but slowly she figured it out and started to lick my dick. I kept going, and when I reached her cunt, I let my tongue lick up and down the length of her slit. I continued that for a while, before I let my tongue dart in and out of her slippery hole, while getting my first taste of her juices. She was very wet and her pussy juices were kind of bitter, definitely not as sweet as Jordan's pre-cum or cum. Damn! There I go again thinking about Jordan. What the hell was I doing?

I went back to work on her snatch and sucked on her clit, just as she started to mouth my dick. Suddenly, I had to stop what I was doing, pull up and give her a quick lesson on cock sucking. I guess, not having one herself, she had no idea about how to give good head. After the brief lesson, she continued to suck on my prick, but she just couldn't get the hang of it. She wasn't doing it as well as Jordan did it for me. Shit, there's that name again.

I couldn't take it any longer, so I pulled out of her mouth and swung around to get ready to mount her. I reached into my pant's pocket and pulled out a condom, broke the foil pouch and slid it over my member. I was now prepared to pass through the 'Pearly Gates.' I lined my cock up with the opening to her cunt and slowly started to enter her. My penis slipped in fairly easily, and before long I had all 7.75" [19.7 cm] of my dick inside her cunt. She moaned a little when I entered her, but now she would feel all the pleasure I could give her with my throbbing prick.

I started out at a nice gentle rhythm, as I slid in and out of her fairly slippery tunnel. I was soon panting and pumping harder and harder, because it felt really great sliding back and forth in her snatch. The walls of her vagina didn't caress my prick as tightly as the walls of Jordan's rectum had, but… Ugggh, I was thinking of Jordan again. What the fuck was the matter with me?

Before long, I felt that burning, tingling sensation in my groin and knew I was getting ready to shoot my load. I stroked faster and faster, as I slid the entire length of my shaft in and out of her canal until I finally exploded and sent several strong waves of semen into the tip of the rubber. We humped for a little while longer and then I rolled off of her and lay beside her on the floor. We were both panting deeply and I rolled over, kissed her on the cheek and thanked her.

I was still lying there beside her, studying her face, when I realized she had the same type of nose as Jordan. Aaaahhh, I'd done it again. Here I should be enjoying my first time fucking a female, but I kept thinking about Jordan. What in hell was wrong with me? What we had just done was fun, it was exciting and it was great, but not quite as good as fucking Jordan's ass… Oh my god, what did I just say to myself? Did I just admit that fucking Jordan's ass was better than doing Amber? What the hell was wrong with me?

After a few seconds, I got my thoughts back together and we got dressed and went back upstairs to wait for Nicole and her boyfriend in the living room. We kissed some more and she told me how much she had enjoyed what we'd just done and how well she thought I'd performed. About 15 minutes later, the other pair strolled back into the room and suddenly blushed, when they realized we probably knew what they had just been doing. Seeing we were in the same place they had left us, they weren't sure if we had done the jungle dance ourselves or were just content in making out. Oh well. What they don't know won't hurt them.

Eventually, the two of us guys left, but I ended up walking home alone. All the way back, I kept thinking about what happened earlier and unconsciously kept comparing what Amber and I had done tonight to what I'd done with Jordan. Damn! I've got to get over this. I was either going to drive myself crazy or turn out to be as queer as he was. That night, I slept soundly, but during the evening memories of what Jordan and I had done together kept invading my dreams.

Monday, we went back to school and I noticed there was a lot of whispering going on. I started to ask around about what was up when I heard the news. Brian Bowers had committed suicide! My god! I couldn't believe it. I guess he couldn't take all of the abuse any more and decided suicide was the only way to check out of the Homophobic Hotel.

Suddenly, all I could think about was why couldn't I have had the guts to stand up to those assholes and protected that poor kid? He wasn't such a bad guy. It was just that he was gay. If he had been straight, he probably would have been popular and had a lot of friends. How could I… how could we… how could the whole damn school have allowed a handful of bullying gay bashers torture the kid for so long and so unmercifully, that he thought the only way out was to end his own life.

I was no longer feeling remorse over Brian's death, because now I was angry. I was angry with all of us who had let this continue, but I was angrier yet with those fucking morons who had been responsible for harassing the poor kid. I was hoping, no I was praying that those merciless assholes get punished for this and it's the most severe punishment possible.

After about an hour, I found out from someone else exactly what had happened. From what she told me, Saturday night Brian's parents went out to dinner and he stayed home alone. They asked him to join them, but he declined saying he had other things that he wanted to do. From what the police could tell, he went upstairs, took one of his father's shotguns, loaded it and took it out in the garage. Then, he put the barrel in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

When his parents returned home after dinner, his mother got out in front of the house and entered through the front door. Brian's father, however, opened the garage door and had just started to pull the car inside when he saw his son's lifeless body in the glow of the headlights. It must have been awful for his parents to find him like that. Hell, it would have been awful to find him dead no matter how it had happened. I'd be willing to bet they were blaming themselves and feeling guilty for going out and leaving him home alone, but if he was truly determined to kill himself, then there was nothing they could have done to stop it. If he hadn't done it that night, then he would have merely found another way or another time.

Suddenly, I thought about Jordan. Shit! I wondered how he was handling the news. They had been friends and seemed to be fairly close. Fuck! Had I treated Jordan any better than those gay bashing assholes had treated Brian? Sure, I hadn't beaten him up or tortured him, but what I did probably hurt him just as much. The pain I caused Jordan wasn't physical, like with Brian, it was worse. I caused him the kind of pain that couldn't be seen and was harder to treat. I emotionally abused him ever since that night he told me he loved me and that he was gay.

Suddenly, I was a man on a mission. I was looking all over the school for him when an announcement came over the PA system stating that all students were to go to the auditorium for an assembly. Shit! I had to find Jordan first. I had to see how he was and I needed to apologize for the way I'd treated him. I needed to let him know how I truly felt and assure him we were still friends. I had to let him know things weren't so bad that he needed to consider the same drastic measure that Brian had taken. I desperately needed to find him, but it now looked as if I was just going to have to look for him at the assembly and then talk to him afterward.

I went into the auditorium and found a seat next to a couple of guys I knew. The principal entered shortly after that, walked up to the podium and began to speak.

"Students, if I may please have your attention. I imagine many of you have already heard the news about Brian Bowers. It was a very tragic situation and I'm sure there are quite a few of you that are coping with deep emotional issues concerning this tragic event. Due to what has happened, the school district will see to it that counselors are available in the guidance office. They will be there to talk to any students who want to discuss their feelings about Brian's death or just wish to talk about the situation in general.

"Some students have recently come to my office and informed me about the way Brian had been treated during the past few weeks. Even though I, as principal, knew of isolated incidents that had happened, I wasn't aware of the extent of the problem. I wish someone had come to me sooner and explained how serious this situation had become, because then I might have been able to prevent what happened. I promise, there will now be a full investigation into this matter and any students who have been involved with unlawful or harassing behavior will be dealt with severely. We are also cooperating fully with the local and state police on this matter, so criminal charges may also be filed.

"I am always saddened by the tragic loss of any member of our educational community, but it is even sadder when the loss is due to self-inflicted wound, especially those which are the direct or indirect result of abuse or neglect. I wish to extend my condolences to Brian's family and friends, and his family has asked me to announce there will be calling hours tonight from 7 – 9, closed casket of course. The funeral will be held at St. Michael's tomorrow morning at 10:00 and I just ask that any students wishing to attend the funeral express their desire with my office sometime today, so we can credit you for an excused absence.

"Before I dismiss you to return to you homerooms, however, there is a student who asked me to allow him to speak with you. I wouldn't normally consider or agree to this, but after a lengthy discussion with this individual and hearing what he plans to say, I've decided to make an exception to the rule. I think you all should listen to his remarks, because his message had a great impact on me when I heard it. I'm now turning the podium over to one of your fellow students, so he can make his remarks about this sad situation."

I could tell the entire student body was doing the same thing that I was, in that they were trying to figure out who would speak out for Brian Bowers. Maybe it was that junior who tried to protect him or maybe Brian actually had another friend. We watched the side of the stage for the person to enter and I nearly fainted when I saw it was Jordan. Man, what was he doing? Was he trying to commit suicide too? Hasn't he heard of death by bigot? I wanted to run up there and pull him off the stage, so I could protect his future, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do now.

"I think you all know who I am," he began. "What I don't believe you know is what I am." My heart nearly stopped beating when he said those words. "I am, or I was, a friend of Brian Bowers. Not a good friend, mind you, because I didn't have the guts to defend him or stand by his side when he needed me most. I was a cowardly friend who stood on the sidelines and watched as a group of animals singled him out and then attacked him for the kill. I watched them slowly torture Brian and strip from him every shred of self-worth and every ounce of decency that he harbored within his sweet, gentle soul. Brian was a very kind, very loving individual who had only one fault, one minor trait that many of you felt was beyond forgiveness. It was a trait that made him a marked man. Brian Bowers was gay.

"Most of you never really knew him," he added. "You wouldn't let yourselves get to know him simply because it was rumored that he was gay. You were afraid of the connotation the term held, but he was a decent, loving human being and a kinder soul you'd never find. He would do anything to help a person in need and wouldn't harm a flea. Some of you out there, and you know who you are, couldn't find it in your heart to accept this differences or wouldn't treat him as a young man, nothing more.

"Some others went even further and felt that they had to punish him for being different," Jordan continued. "They were the self-proclaimed and self-righteous defenders of morality that thought being gay was worse than being a thief or even a murder. They, themselves, became the thieves and murderers when they robbed him of his humanity. before they killed his sweet, loving soul. Oh, they may not have pulled the trigger on the gun that ended his life, but they killed him just the same.

"I hope the law and the courts can properly deal with these bullies," he added, "but just in case the system fails, there is a higher authority they will have to answer to one day. You may be able to fool the law or other people about your role in his death, but you won't be able to fool God. He knows what thoughts blackened your hearts and consumed your souls. He knows the real reasons and motivations behind your actions. If I were you, I'd be shaking in my shoes knowing that I was going to face an eternity in hell because of that intolerance.

"Unfortunately, I may not be any less guilty," he announced. "Brian and I became friends at the beginning of January and during that time I got to know him, came to love him and had a chance to understand what he was going through."

There was an audible gasp throughout the auditorium when Jordan said he came to love him, but Jordan either didn't notice or didn't seem to care about how some of the other students had reacted.

"When the situation got bad and he was feeling hurt and alone, I abandoned him too, because I was afraid to face what I was," he went on. "I stopped hanging out and talking to him, because I didn't want the abuse to spread over to me. When he needed a friend the most, someone who could understand and empathize with what he was going through, I was anything but a friend. He called me earlier that Saturday and asked if I would come over and just talk to him, but I brushed him off by telling him I was too busy and didn't have the time. I'm sure he knew it wasn't because I had other plans. He knew I was afraid to take a stand and that I had turned my back on him too. I was afraid to announce to the world that I am also gay."

There was another loud gasp and then the room started buzzing. I knew what was going through everyone's mind at that moment, because it was also going through mine. Even though I knew that Jordan was gay, it didn't stop me from following the same train of thought. After a fairly lengthy pause, Jordan started speaking again and everyone finally quieted down.

"I know some of you may find it hard to accept the fact that I'm gay. I'm not a wimpy, little nerd, as you tried to classify Brian. I'm an athlete, a very good athlete, and I've dated lots of girls. Well, I wish to apologize to those girls, because I misled them and used our time together to deflect suspicions about who I truly was. I dated all of those girls just to keep the rest of you from learning about my secret. However, after this I can't keep that secret any longer. I can't let you destroy some other person just because he's different and doesn't fit your mold.

"I don't care whether it's because of their sexual preference, race, religion, appearance, weight or anything else," Jordan added. "Someone has to stand up and stop the intolerance before there's no one left but the bigots. If I had stood up a week ago and made this announcement, poor Brian might still be alive today. If any of you bastards out there, the ones who drove Brian to commit this act want a piece of me, well you know where to find me. Be advised, however, that I'll fight back and I'm not going to let you destroy me like you did him. If you want to take a shot at me, then you better be ready to get bloodied too.

"I just want to finish by saying that I'm sorry Brian," Jordan stated, as his voice began to tremble and break. "I'm sorry for letting you down I'm sorry for letting myself down and I'm sorry for letting our school down. I hope some day we will meet again and you'll find it in your heart to forgive me."

As Jordan left the stage and went out the side door into the corridor, the principal announced that we were dismissed and expected to go directly to our homerooms. I couldn't. I needed to go find Jordan. I fought through a sea of humanity and struggled to reach the location where he had left the auditorium. Finally, I got to that exit, and as I moved through the doorway, there was Jordan leaning against the wall, with his eyes closed. There were tears still running down his cheeks and cascading from his chin, before they formed small pools on the tile floor. I walked up beside him, put my arm around his shoulders and spoke.

"Do you think we can talk?"

NEXT PART