Today my mother's new boyfriend came to see me for the first time. She's been nervous for days and I 'm excited too.

My mother is 36 years old now. When she got pregnant with me, she was 28 years old and my father left her. I am now 7 years old and will be 8 soon.

People say I look exactly like my mother. We both have blonde hair and blue eyes. My mother is a most beautiful woman and I have her genes which means I am also very good looking.

My mother is a nurse and she works the night shift a lot. One of our neighbors is my babysitter when my mother is at work. She is a nice lady but old. I hope that the new boyfriend of my mother is cool and babysits me when mom is at work.

When he arrives I am totally nervous and excited and curious about him. Mom shows him to my room and I'm totally surprised. He's much older than I was expecting, at least 40 years old, but very masculine and well built, someone I would not want to mess with.

Mom introduces him as Hermann. He seems very nice, jokes with me and I think I like him. 

He and my mom retreat to the living room to talk. I follow and sit on the floor to play with my cars, giving me a chance to watch him at a distance.

As they talk with each other, he very gently touches her at times, very delicate for a man of his size and stature. His deep voice and demeanor make his presence felt in the room, demanding respect. It feels strange to me. It's as if he owns the space.

I don't think I can approach him. He doesn't seem to notice or care about me. He is transfixed with my mother.

Some months later, we moved in with Herman to his place.

His house is large and also has a swimming pool.

I get to have a nice big room with plenty of space for all my stuff, unlike the small space in our old little flat.

I think it's so cool but it is Herman's house and I feel a bit strange in it.

It is summer and it is really hot. My birthday has come and gone and my mom is still busy moving us in, even though we just got rid of most of our furnishings because Hermann's are much better.

I am bored and I want to swim in the pool. I need to ask Hermann. He is in his office. So I walk to his door. I want to open it, but then I think again. I knock. He calls me in. "Hermann, can I swim in the pool?"

He looks at me sitting at the table. He never cared much about me, it is more like he accepts my existence. While I… I still feel distant to him.

It doesn't come naturally to me to get close to him. I have so much respect for him I am almost afraid of him. He is so successful and cool. I want to be just like him when I will be grown up.

"Sure," he says. "Leo, you don't have to ask if you want to use the pool. As you live here now, you can use it whenever you want." I smile at him and nod. I turn around and run for my room to change to my swim trunks.

"LEO!" I hear him shout. I freeze, turn around and go back to his office. "Shut the door please." I do and then I go to my room to get changed to go swimming.

As time passes, my mom and Hermann argue some times. They get silent when I am around, but he acts frustrated. It seems like he wants something from her that she doesn't want to give him. At least not as often as he wants it.

I keep away from him, when he is frustrated, even though he is never mean to me. Most of the time he just ignores me.

I watch and admire him and learn. At school, I try to be like him. To have the same presence like him. I try to emulate him by standing and talking like him.

When he disagrees with anyone, he never just says "you're wrong" but he seems to think about it. Then he may say something like "you're right in this or that but I think that…" and gives his view of the matter. I think it is so powerful how he doesn't seem to fight but just wins.

One evening when we all walked home we met someone in the street. Hermann knew him and started a conversation with him. It was political in nature and they had a difference of opinions. Hermann did it just like I said before. He even agreed with some statements but made other observations. I asked him why he didn't just say to the person that he was wrong.

Hermann answered "Because he wasn't. You can look at things from different perspectives." Hermann didn't even look at me when he said that. He put his arm around my mother and walked on. I felt so little.

Months go by and Hermann seems to be more and more frustrated with my mother. I began to think that he might throw us out of his beautiful house.

This evening mother has to go to work, and they are arguing before she leaves. I hear them from my room. Eventually, mom comes in to kiss me goodbye.

After mom leaves, Hermann goes downstairs to the workout room to take out his pent up frustrations. He is frustrated a lot lately.

I go to the living room, sit on the couch and turn the tv on. It's raining outside. After some time I hear Hermann in the shower. When he's finished showering, he comes in the living room bare-chested. He sees me but looks away like he doesn't care about me.

That's my life in this house. I am just there. Yes, my mom loves me. But I would love to be closer to Hermann. But there is this force field around him that keeps me at a distance.

He prepares pizza for us for dinner. When he calls I go to the kitchen where we normally eat. My pizza is on a plate already. I sit down silently and start to eat, as does he. We don't talk much usually. Sometimes I ask him something and he answers but he never wants to know anything about me.

Finally, I get the courage and I ask. "Are you mad with mom?" Just when I finished the sentence I think "I should not have asked".

He looks me in the eyes and I look down at my pizza. "I love your mom, Leo." Just a dry statement. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I insist: "Yes, but you argue a lot" as I look up at him. He hesitates "No it's… Just… You know a man has needs. You will learn soon enough." "What do you mean?" "Nothing. Eat your pizza."

I chew on a piece of pizza. "What is it she doesn't give to you? You always say she doesn't give it to you…" I look up at him again. The questions seem to make him feel uncomfortable. His eyes lock with mine again. "Listen, it's…" This time I stare at him. He suddenly turns his head a little bit. "You know, Leo, you look exactly like your mother…" I smile.

Did he just recognize it for the first time? Has he never really looked at me before? I lower my eyes again. He reaches out for me and touches my face gently. I look up at him again. He seems to be confused somehow. I blush. He takes away his hand and shakes his head slightly. He continues to eat.

It was the first time he touched me like that. It felt good. It felt as if his energy was flowing directly into me.

That evening I thought a lot about that moment. I don't know what happened but something changed in his attitude towards me. He really saw me.

The next day is Saturday. My mom goes off to work again in the evening. They have not talked much during the day. I know that this is worse than to argue. I hear Jazz music from the living room. Hermann likes Jazz. I think Jazz is cool. Mostly because Hermann likes it. I go to the living room. I want him to see me again. Like yesterday. He is lying on the couch bare-chested with his eyes closed. He looks so strong.

I approach him slowly in case he's sleeping. I stand before him and look down at him. Suddenly he opens his eyes. "Hm?" He asks.

I feel silly standing there and want him to react to me. When he does it's not the way I wanted. And I have no explanation for standing right in front of him. So I just ask the first question that comes to my mind.

"What is this music?" "It is jazz. Free jazz. You like it?" I don't know what made the difference yesterday, but right now again he answers my question but doesn't seem to notice me. Even though he asks me whether I like the music.

I say "Yes." He smiles and looks me in the eyes. I stand before him and stare. Again – just like yesterday – he slightly turns his head. He swallows. He takes my hand softly "come here and listen with me." He pulls me to him and helps me lay on top of him. So this is it! I have to look him in the eyes if I want him to recognize me!

Now that I'm really listening to the music I think that it is really complex. But there must be something to like about it. So I concentrate on it. He hugs me. I feel his strong arms around me. I lay my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beat. It is so strong and beats really slowly. Mine is racing right now. I feel his hand caress my hair. He is so gentle. Who would think that such a strong man could be so gentle?

He smells so manly. I feel his chest hair on my face. I feel one of his hands going under my shirt and caressing my back. It feels really good. Mom does it sometimes. I didn't know that it could feel like this if Hermann did it.

His heart beats a little faster now. I lye still and enjoy the moment. Suddenly he kisses me on the head. I am totally surprised. He has never kissed me before. I look up at him and smile. He looks down at me and our eyes meet. I look away and put my head back on his chest. He does not caress me anymore but just holds me tight. Suddenly he says: "Time for bed. You need your sleep."

I still had half an hour left, but he said it in a strange tone, so I didn't dare to argue. I stood up wanting to give him a kiss but I don't have the courage so I just say "good night" and head for the bathroom.

I get ready for bed and 20 mins later I am in my bed. I am so happy. I can hear Hermann go to the basement and work out.

The next few days Hermann avoids me. I am devastated. I try to look him in the eyes but he doesn't give me a chance. He is totally ignoring me. Maybe because my mom seems to give him what he needs.

One week later on Saturday evening, I have just about given up when I remember. I put on the jazz music from the week before and sit on the couch. I listen with my eyes closed and try to remember what it felt like to be recognized by Hermann. To be touched by him. To hear his heart beat.

Suddenly I feel this presence. I open my eyes. Hermann is standing in front of me. "You really like this, don't you?" Once more I try "the trick" and look him in the eyes. "Yes, I do." I lie, but on the other hand, I really do somehow.

Just not for the music. He is looking down at me. Straight into the eyes. "Do we want to listen together?" My heart pounds! "Yes," It comes as a whisper.

When he sits down next to me I see a movement in his trousers but I ignore it. He lays down on the couch and makes me lay on top of him again. I feel like I broke through his wall that used to keep me away.

Again I can hear his heart beat. Again he hugs me tight. Does he smell my hair? I don't know. Soon his hand goes under my shirt again.

I feel his hand on my bare back. His hand feels rough. I like it. It is masculine. I close my eyes. I feel so safe in his arms.

The song changes. "Do you like this song, too?" I nod. "Yes… And I like…" I don't finish the sentence. "What," he asks. "You. I like you." "Thank you, Leo." his voice is so soft… I feel encouraged. "I like to lay on you." He kisses my head. His heart beats a little faster. Was that me? "M-hm. So you like it. Well, if you want, you can sleep with me in the master bedroom tonight. Just till your mother comes back." "Yes." I smile. I won. Finally, I get close to him. I mean, I can sleep alone as well. But I feel special to be allowed to sleep with him. I can hear his heart beat really faster now. My heart races as well. Is he really as excited as I am? I don't think so. Why should he… But I like the thought.

We listen to the music a bit longer and then he carries me to the bathroom. I do my stuff and he does his as well. Right next to me. I am so proud. Then he carries me to the bedroom, lays me on my mother's side of the bed. Gently kisses me on the forehead.

Who is this – where has he been till now? How come he suddenly cares for me? How comes he's suddenly so gentle to me. Like… like a father… He covers me. I feel brave: "Hermann… can I sleep on you?" He agrees. I lay on top of him. I hear his heart beat. I fall asleep. Happily. 

Hermann wakes me up. "Wake up, Leo. You need to go to your own bed. Don't tell your mother you've been here".

I walk to my bedroom and lay in my bed. From now on Hermann allows me to sleep with him some times. As long as I don't tell my mother.

Also, I can talk to him more openly. And he seems to care. He asks me questions about my day and stuff. Seems to be interested in my games. Mom thinks that things are going great now. She tells me how good it is that we get along better now. She says she can really feel a change in his mood. "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it," she says, laughs and ruffles my hair.

It is the summer holiday now. I am at home every day. During the daytime my mother is here, at night it is Hermann. It has become a normal routine for me to go to sleep with Hermann, wake up just before my mom comes home and walk to my room. It has even become normal that Hermann talks to me and plays with me.

I come from the pool in my swimming trunks. Hermann is in his office. I don't feel like I'm disturbing him anymore if I enter his office. So I walk in because I wonder what he is doing.

He looks up at me as I dry my hair with a towel. He's got a strange look in his eyes as his look goes from my head to my toes and back. I go to him and want to sit in his lap. He lets me and puts his hand on my thigh. His thumb moves up and down. His lap feels hot. Well, it's summer anyway. He puts his other arm around my chest and pulls me to him.

I look back up at him and smile. He looks down at me. I find his look strange. Like – hungry. "You know, Leo, that I…" I look up at him and wait for him to finish his sentence. "I love you…" My heart seems to jump in my chest and it makes me really happy! "I love you too," I whisper back.

He kisses me on my mouth and I kiss back. A nice boy smooch. He takes his hand from my thigh and pushes my head back towards his. I look back up at him. I look directly into his eyes and smile. Again he lowers his head to kiss me. But this time he holds my head in place. Not a smooch. A long, tender kiss. My heart races. I don't understand. He slightly opens his mouth. I don't understand. "Open," he whispers. I feel silly that I didn't respond to his move and open my mouth slightly. I feel his lips kiss me with his open mouth and it is so different from all the kisses I had before. I keep my mouth open for him.

He puts his mouth fully on mine and suddenly I feel his tongue enter my mouth. My heart beats so fast. I freeze and just let him do as he wishes. I feel how his tongue enters and explores my mouth. It feels like he's invading me. I like him – love him – so I don't say anything. I certainly won't stop him. I do want him to care for me. And somehow this seems like he does.

He starts to rub my chest and belly with his other hand while he keeps holding my head in place with the other.

His hand wanders down and touches my wiener. I tense in surprise but he keeps feeling it. He moves his hand under my trunks and feels it directly. All of this is so weird and unexpected that I do nothing, just freeze. He rubs my wiener and it gets stiff. I don't know whether I am expected to grow a stiffie when a man touches me. But I can't do anything against it. It just happens. I wonder what Hermann thinks of me now. He breaks his kiss. Isn't that gay anyway, I wonder.

He takes my hand and moves it into his crotch. I can feel something hard and hot. I look him in the eyes. I don't know what he expects me to do. He lets my hand go and opens his trousers. He takes my hand and puts it in his underwear. I can feel his hard rod, it feels huge. He makes me rub it. Pulls his underwear down a bit, under his balls. So huge. So hairy. I rub it as he wants me to. It feels surprisingly soft. But hard also. Underneath. I continue to rub it and I look at it like a rabbit watches a snake. He goes back to rubbing me and feeling me up. I am surprised by the feelings that arise from my wiener. At a point, they become so intensive that I forget to rub his.

Hermann just continues to rub me and all of a sudden it jerks. I wonder what is happening to it, but it feels different afterward. Like the tension is gone. My whole body is relaxed now. I try to remember the moment. As I do so I remember that I said like "uh, uh." I didn't realize my own reaction at that moment, I was totally in a different, new world.

I come back to my senses. Hermann still rubs me and it is still stiff. And he takes my hand to make me rub him also again and I do. I wonder how long I am supposed to rub him but I guess that his will jerk as well. So I guess that he wants me to rub him till it jerks. It takes really long. And I even feel the tension rise in my body again when Hermann closes his eyes and stops to rub me, but feels me all over instead.

He pulls me towards him and kisses me again. As before I open my mouth and let his tongue enter me. I forget to rub him. He breaks his kiss for a second: "Go on, honey, go on!" I instantly rub him again while he kisses me and feels my body. Suddenly he breaks his kiss, gently bytes my neck and moans like "Hrrrnnggh!!!" Then a thick stream of white fluid shoots from his penis and hits me on my belly, from where it dribbles back on his shirt. A second stream. And a third one. Then it jerks a few more times and more white liquid comes out of it.

Hermann relaxes. He breathes heavily. He hugs me and smears the white stuff all over my belly and chest. He kisses my neck. "Good boy. Good boy." I don't understand anything. But he says I am a good boy. So I did right. And he seems to be really happy.

From that day on Hermann attitude changes towards me even more. He wants me around him all the time. He says that I can be naked if my mother is not around.

Actually, I don't want to, but when she is gone he reminds me to get rid of my stuff. I don't care really, so I do. He likes it and he wants me to be around him if I am naked. He touches me more than before. And in different places. He touches my bum very often and he loves to kiss me. It gives me a strange feeling when he kisses me that way. I get a stiffy.

Today mommy kisses me goodbye before going to work and almost instantly after she's gone, I take my shirt and pants off. I go looking for Hermann in his office. He smiles when I walk in.

I am used to his hands all over me and I know that if he starts to breathe heavy that I'll be rubbing his dick soon.

It's not long before he is breathing heavy and I look for his dick to check whether it is hard again. It is. He touches me more than before. And in different places. He touches my bum very often. And he loves to kiss me. It gives me a strange feeling when he kisses me that way. I get a stiffy.

He smiles at me. "You're a good boy, you know. You're just like the perfect fuck-toy." I smile. Even though I am not sure whether it is good to be a fuck-toy. "Come" He stands up and lifts me up with him. He carries me to the master bedroom. "It is too early to sleep" I protest. "I am not tired." He smiles at me as he lets me fall on the bed. "We won't sleep yet."

He moves over me and starts to kiss me. I know this routine meanwhile and open my mouth instantly to let his tongue slip into my mouth. He positions me in the middle of the bed and proceeds to get undressed.

When he's naked he takes me and turns me around, so I lay on my belly. He looks for a tube and positions himself over me. I feel him push my butt cheeks apart. I try to look back to see what he's doing. Then I feel some cool fluid on my hole. He smears it around. Then I feel his finger press against my hole. "What… are you doing?" "Shhh." I wait and he keeps doing it.

Suddenly his finger enters my hole and I tense. I want to turn around, but he puts his other hand on my back. "Shhh. Relax." I try to relax. I can feel his finger move a little. Like in circles. In and out. It gives me strange feelings. "Good boy." His voice is relaxing for me.

After some time he starts to use two fingers. I can feel every move in my back hole. I just don't understand why he's doing this! After some minutes he positions himself over me, one knee on each side of me. I look back and see him rub himself.

He lowers his pelvis and positions himself behind my back. I can feel his dick push between my buttocks. What… "What are you doing…?" "Shhh… relax. Good boy." He positions himself. Just at the moment when I understand that he wants to put it in my hole he gives it a push and the head enters. The pain comes immediately. "Aaahh!! Hermann! It HURTS! Take it out, pleeaase!!" The pain is so strong! It seems like it's ripping me open. Next thing I know I start to cry. "Shhh… Relax…. Relax… Will be good. Good boy… relax." Hermann doesn't take it out. He just waits. I try to get away but he keeps me in place. "Shhh…." I feel my bum spasm. I cry. He lowers himself. Kisses my tears away. "Good boy… Good boy… Be brave…." After some time Hermann pushes in deeper.

It doesn't hurt that much anymore. I can feel it move in. It feels so strange something moving in. it really feels like it fills me. He pushes deeper and deeper. After some time I feel a little pain deeper in me. "Stop, please. It hurts again. Please." "shhh. It's good." "No its not!" He increases the pressure. It hurts more. "Pleeeeaseee!" He increases the pressure. All of a sudden I feel like something inside me snaps open with a tearing pain again. "AAaaaaahahhh!" I cry. And "Ah! Yes!" He moans. As his dick sinks even deeper into me. From that point, in one slow motion, he pushes it all into me. Then he just waits. I lay underneath him and try to cope with the pain. He is on top of me and kisses me on my cheek and in my neck. "Good boy. You're so brave." Am I.

After a while the pain diminishes. He seems to notice and starts to pull out softly. Then he gently pushes back in. These feelings are so intense. Even though I hated the pain – this is… I don't know. Intense. I have goose bumps all over my body. He pulls out again and pushes back in. He goes like this for a while and whispers "Hmmm. so tight! You're so tight! Hmmm. so good. Good boy… Good boy…."

After some time he repositions, goes on his knees and lifts my pelvis up as well, so I am on my knees as well. I want to lay back down but he holds me in place. Then he starts to pull out further, till only just the head of his dick is still in me. Then he pushes it all back in one swift move. It doesn't hurt anymore but the feeling is intense. He starts to repeat this move at a steady pace. I hear myself moan like "uh, uh, uh." It sounds like if I hear someone else. He grabs under me for my wiener and I realize that it is stiff. He increases the pace. I feel my body shudder. "uh, uh, uh." I hear my high pitched voice. He increases speed and strength. He's really pounding me now. I feel the tension rise in my whole body. "Uh, uh!" and he cries "Oh yeah! Oh yeah!!" The tension in my body rises. I feel my peewee jerk. But also my butt tenses in the same rhythm. I feel light headed. "Hmm. Hmm. Uh. Uh.." I hear myself moan. I hear loud noises in my ears and feel Hermann pounding me like an animal. It seems to take him an eternity.

I feel this tension rise in my body. I think I'm going to jerk again soon. Just as I am thinking this I realize that Hermann is starting to push in with more strength, like he wants to break through me. "Aaargh, aaargh." Here it is, I jerk again. "uhm, hngh, uh, uh" Then Hermann pushes all the way in and freezes. "Aaarrrnnngh!" I feel his dick jerk inside me. Again and again. Hermann starts to do some more little pushing moves. Then he just lays himself down on me, his dick still in me. He is heavy. Can't breathe. He rolls to the side and holds me in place in front of him, his dick still in me. He sweats and pants. "Good boy. Good boy." He kisses my neck. We stayed laying there for ages. 

Chapter 2

I wake up in my room; Hermann must have brought me here. It is early in the morning, and I can hear the birds outside. The sun shining in my face wakes me.

I instantly remember what happened last evening. It seems as if it was ages ago. All the intense new feelings have gone, but I remember every detail: all these new and overwhelming feelings. The pain, too, but I feel calm now. My wiener is getting stiff as I touch myself at my belly.

I feel my breast; it feels different now compared to three days ago. Now it feels – erotic? I don't know how to label these new feelings. This powerful man on me. In me. Around me. His smell.

Now I feel alone, empty, disappointed. I take a deep breath. Other thoughts come to my mind. I start to turn, and my thoughts turn with me.

Slowly I start to move as I watch the shadows of the tree move in my room. I know that the day will be scorching soon. My mum must be around, so I put my pajama on. I am surprised that I am still naked. Usually, even if Hermann brings me to bed asleep, I find myself at least in my pajama trousers the next morning.

Hermann's house has air conditioning, though. I stand up and put my pajama trousers on. I open the door of my room. I – don't know; I want to know what he's doing. I cross the floor to the master bedroom. Silently I open the door. I see Hermann, and my mom sleeping. He has his arms around her as he lays behind her. I feel – jealous? I close the door.

I silently sigh. I walk to the living room and see it empty. The kitchen is also empty. I feel bored. I touch myself down there for a second. I go back to the living room. I hear some free jazz. I lay on the couch and feel so alone; it hurts. I feel a knot in my stomach. I hug a cushion. I breathe heavy – I know that I am short of crying. Why? I don't know.

Suddenly I hear Hermann enter the room. He is only just wearing his pajama trousers, too. He comes directly to me, bends down to me and kisses me.

"Hey, honey!" I smile up to him. I feel a lot better already. "What would you like for breakfast?"

Did he ask me that? He has never asked me before! And I don't have an answer. I would have eaten anything he offered me!

"I… dunno…"

"Let's see – I could make some pancakes?"

"REALLY???" Why??? For ME???

He takes it as a yes, smiles and heads to the kitchen with me following him. He starts to prepare the dough, and I stay right next to him, watching every move. My mom has done it before –but it is so cool to watch HIM doing it.

A short while later we sit at the kitchen table and stuff ourselves with pancakes. And real Canadian maple syrup. Hermann is in a good mood. He tells jokes, and I laugh a lot – I make jokes as well, and he also laughs; even though my jokes aren't funny compared to his.

My mom won't wake up till early afternoon –so we have some more time alone. Suddenly Hermann puts his head to the side and looks at me.

"You know what? I think you're such a pleasure to have – you should be rewarded. What do you think – should we go to the adventure water park?"

There is a huge adventure water park just in the next city. I have never been there. My mouth drops open: "UH! YESSSS! With you?" and he laughs.

"Yes, of course. Your mother is still sleeping and has to go to work tonight; so why don't we have a little fun together? Get your stuff ready."

I can't believe it. Hermann wants to have fun with me at the water park! It is sooooo cool! It's still the same kitchen as before. It's still the same living room as before. But both don't feel empty and boring anymore but vibrant and full of life. I rush to my room and get my swimming trunks, towels and stuff. I rush back and see Hermann get his things. He writes a note for my mom and tapes it to the fridge, and we're off!

Hermann has a big Mercedes S-Class car. Even though I have lived in his house for some months now, I haven't been in it a lot so far. I love it. It is sooo – Hermann. So cool. Right now it feels even cooler. We go to the park and everybody will see me in this cool car with this cool man. They will think he's my father. I am the happiest boy on the planet.

I keep talking all the time, and Hermann listens patiently. He parks the car, pays the fee, and we change into our bathing suits. This whole world of adventures; the water slide and the waves. And… I guess it is hard for Hermann to keep up with me – but he seems to have fun, too. He plays and fools around with me a lot and really! It's the best day of my life so far and probably forever! Maybe my wedding could be even better, but who knows.

It feels like just five minutes have passed when Hermann says we have to go. I 'm sad but understand, and we get ready to go. In the car, I start to feel very tired and fall asleep.

I am in the water park. I am in the water; waves are very high. I am having fun with Hermann. Suddenly I feel pain. I look around. There is a shark. It bites me in my ass. I try to swim away, but I feel like I can't move. The shark bites again and again. I wake up. I am lying naked on the bed on my belly. Hermann is above me; fucking me again. My prick is stiff, and every time Hermann pushes in it rubs against the mattress.

Hermann is panting still. Hugging me and kissing me on my neck. I feel him move in me. What a perfect ending of a perfect day, I think to myself. I feel his touch. His kisses. Him inside me. I turn my head towards him. He lowers his head and kisses me. He isn't as crazy as last time, but he moves slowly inside me.

I can feel every centimeter he moves in and out. I feel shivers all over my body. "HHmmmm…." I moan again and again. Oooohhh – there is a spot! And he touches it almost every time. "hm… hmm… hmmm….!" I moan. And I feel his hands caress my body. And his mouth on my neck. On my cheeks. On my lips. Our lips meet, and I open my mouth. His tongue enters my mouth. Our tongues meet. I feel saliva drip from his mouth into mine. I think it's a little bit disgusting, but I don't know what to do, so I swallow. He breaks the kiss and increases the speed of the fuck. I can… tell… that I… am… reeealllyyy… Ooooooooh yeeeesssss…. My little dick jerks again and my whole body shivers and spasms.

"Uhh! Uhh! Ohh! Gaaaawwd!" I say.

And Hermann answers, "Baby, yeah!"

He increases his speed, and again I feel him jerk inside me. He collapses. "Baby – you`re so… I love you so much." He kisses my neck and caresses my body… I close my eyes.

I wake up. Alone. In my room. I sigh.

My mom is home that day and the next. She brings me to a friend of mine where I stay for the day and a sleepover. I return the next day at supper time and during supper, we talk at the table. Everybody says what is on their mind. Hermann talks about what he has done at work. Mom seems to be relaxed and happy; she smiles a lot. She enjoys being close to Hermann. I sit opposite of the two. I would enjoy being close to him, too; but he is all mum, mum, mum. I go to bed. Alone. I wake up. Alone.

Today my mom goes to work on a day shift and after breakfast, she leaves. As soon as I hear her car departing, I take off my clothes and sit in the living room. Outside it is scorching today, but in the house it's cool. The leather of the couch feels cold on my skin. I don't know what to do when Hermann comes in and smiles at me.

"Hey, man. How do you feel?"

He sits right next to me and puts an arm around me. I have to admit –right now, I feel terrific. As an answer I just lay my head against his body. I inhale his smell. He caresses my naked little body, and I like it. I push a little closer to him; I would love to push into him. Why can't he be like this when mum is around? Why the two-faced? Why do I have to be dressed when she is about and why do I need to be undressed when she is away? I don't ask; I just put my arms around him as far as I can. He kisses me on my hair. Why? Why now– why not before? How is he so different when we are alone?

I test him by putting my hand on his lap. Heat. A hardness. I look up at him; our eyes meet. He smiles; I smile back. Look at me! Am I not better than my mother? I keep touching it, rubbing it. I feel it getting harder.

"Oh boy!" He sighs. "You're such a fucktoy – this is unbelievable. Who would have thought…?"

He closes his eyes and lays his head back as I keep rubbing through his pants. He stops me and opens his pants, moves his arm and with it my upper body. So I move closer to his crotch. I feel his hand move up my back. He pushes my head down. I… What? He shifts, and I can't help it. I could say something but do I want to? No! No… Just… Do as he wants… One day I will sleep overnight in his bed, and I will wake up with his arms around me.

I follow the pressure and feel my head being pushed towards his dick. He takes his hand and guides my head. Really? You want me to…? In the mouth?? YUCK! But… It touches my lips. What a view, it seems so huge! I can smell it – the manly scent. I don't think I want to but… I… open a little… and it slides in… And "Hoohah, yes…" he moans.

Must be good for him. I, on the other hand, am quite busy figuring out how I like it. My heart races, No…. he wouldn't do it if it could make me sick. No sickness. Probably…

I feel my head being pushed deeper. More of his dick enters my mouth. My tongue touches his dickhead.

"Umm," I mumble in discomfort.

He drives me even further down. I feel it touch my throat. I can't help, but I choke. He lets go; I'm relieved to have only his dickhead in his mouth. He again starts to push my head down on it in a rhythm. I follow the rhythm, and my tongue touches it from time to time. Not that I want it, but it happens.

He says: "Use your tongue, lick it – play with it."

So I start to do so. Strange feeling but observing my own body, I can tell that mine is stiff again. What is this??? A slimy liquid comes out of his piss slit. I want to ask but… his hand on my head keeps me down. What should I do with it??? I cannot just let it drip out, can I? But I don't want to swallow that slime. So I let the saliva drip out with the slime along his shaft… What else could I do?

"Oh – Baby!" he moans.

I think it is good, I do it good. I move my tongue and ignore the slime and… He pushes… Harder. And harder. And… FUCK! "AAAWWWHHHH!!!!" He screams as stream after stream of his sperm hits the back of my throat.

"Oh yuck!" I think. It tastes bitter and salty and slimy. It is yuck yuck yuck.

  And I don't know what to do. I cannot keep it all in my mouth, but it is too yuck to swallow.  I open my lips a bit and let it all drip out. So much! It drips down his shaft on his abdomen and further down through his pubic hairs to the mattress. Did I do everything right?

"Ooohhh Baabyyy!" good? "You`re sooo good!!!" Good. That's good. It was good. Keep me. Keep me. I am exhausted. Keep me, please.

As soon as he lets my head go, I run to the bathroom and wash my mouth. I don't know what he thinks of it so with a shy look; I go back to the couch. He offers me his arm, and I gratefully accept.

"You know, Leo, you must not spit it out. When you suck a man, you must swallow everything he offers you."

I put my head against his chest. I hear his heartbeat. His arm around me makes me feel safe. I sigh. I will learn. So much to learn from this man.

This evening I go to bed alone.

Chapter 3

My mum has a few days off, which means that Hermann won't take notice of me when she is around. Really, I don't mind sleeping alone. I don't care to go to bed alone, and I don't mind to wake up alone, but why on hell doesn't he act the same towards me when mum is around as when she is not?

He seems to ignore me when she is around as if he doesn't like me anymore. Then, when she is gone – he plays with me, touches me, and is interested in what I do. He does the thing with me. All I want is that he keeps being the same kind of Herman all the time. I want him to recognize me because I am around, not because mum is not around.

It is the middle of the summer holiday now, and I'm sleeping late. A noise wakes me up, tok – tok – tok – tok coming from the master bedroom. I go to the door of the master bedroom and open it slightly. I see Hermann fucking my mother – hard. I silently close the door.

I go to the living room and look for something I could do; I don't have any idea. I lay on the couch, wishing it was me – he is nicer to me when he does it with me. I begin to understand that I am only the second choice for him.

I get dressed, grab my bike, and ride it in front of the house. It is hot already and just do circles and stuff –only to distract myself. In deep thoughts, I ride on the sidewalk and then back on the street, not looking. The next thing I feel is that I am thrown off the bike and on the road, laying there with my knee hurting. A car casting a shadow over me. An older man gets out of the car – probably in his late sixties and runs over to me.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" he keeps saying and "Are you alright, boy?" when he comes to me.

I recheck my body and remember that my knee hurts. Now I realize it hurts really badly. I look at the man and start to cry, holding my knee. He gently takes my bike away, then picks me up and sits me on the sidewalk.

"What is it, boy? What's hurting?" and he starts to touch every part of me, asking where I hurt.

Only when he touches my knee, I cry harder, and he knows that is it. He takes my foot, moves my leg in some weird ways, and asks whether it hurts – but it doesn't. Finally, he sits next to me, lays an arm around my shoulder, and pulls me towards him.

Putting his hand on my cheek and says, "Thank god, nothing is broken. You'll be good in no time. I am a doctor, you know." His voice is calm, deep, and soothing. It feels good to be in his arms. I stop crying. "Was probably more the shock than the pain, wasn't it?" he asks.

I find my own ability to talk again and confirm "Uh-huh!", still sobbing.

"I am Dr. Johann Schmidt, but you can call me Johann. What is your name?"

"Leo."

"So, Leo, I think we should take you home. Wait for a second, I'll lock my car."

He leaves me and comes back a few seconds later. He has white hair and a full white beard. He wears a t-shirt and shorts. He takes my bike then my hand. I lead him to Hermann's house.

"Ah – you live here. Didn't know a boy lived here. Always thought it was just Hermann."

"We moved in some time ago."

"So Hermann has moved out?"

"No. He and my mother are…"

"Ah, I understand."

We step in. My mother and Hermann are still not up. "Would you call your mother, please?" Johann asks.

I go to the master bedroom and knock. My mother chuckles, and after a few seconds, she calls me in.

"Mom, there is a man here. I have damaged his car." I say.

My mother looks puzzled, "What have you done? Can't you be on your own for five minutes without causing any trouble?" I look down, and when she's ready, we go to the living room.

Dr. Schmidt explains everything, and it changes my mother's mood. She is concerned for me now, and I feel better. Hermann comes in as well and states that he will take care of any damage.

He adds, "You know, Johann, we want to marry. So this little man is gonna be my son soon."

This is news to me. "Herman!" my mother snarls. "I wanted to talk to him about it!"

As if he just remembered Hermann states, "Ah, yes – oh, sorry. My bad."

Johann smiles, "A lot to discuss here I see. As far as I can see, the boy is not badly injured. Some pain in the knee, but it'll be fine soon." Mum touches my knee.

"The other one" I help her. Nothing to see anyway, but she still touches it I hiss. Much better already, I think to myself.

It turns out that Herman and Johann know each other. They have a little chat, and eventually, Johann leaves. We have breakfast, and things move on.

***

After breakfast, mom takes me aside and talks to me about the marriage and asks me what I think about it. I have many thoughts about it. I am happy that Hermann will be my father. Also, I wonder what it means for his relationship with me – will the 'on-off-game' of his attitude towards me end? Will he still do – the things – with me? I can't express any of these thoughts; I just tell her that I am happy with the decision.

Mum and I go to the city and do some grocery shopping. She is in a good mood and keeps talking about our future in our new family. How much she hopes that I will love my new little sister.

This time it was her own mistake. She obviously wanted to tell me about her pregnancy later. So another change in my life. A little sister. What will this mean for my relationship with Hermann? Will he even look at me when she is born? My heart drops, and my mood gets low, and my mother realizes it.

"I will always love you, honey!" she states.

I didn't even think about her – but it could change her attitude towards me as well! She lets me get ice cream in the mall. I guess she wants to lift my mood, and it works somehow. The groceries take a long time; she buys a lot of stuff. Finally, we go back home. When we arrive, Johann is there talking to Hermann.

"Just wanted to look after my little patient," he says with his deep, warm voice.

I could listen to him for ages. Johann smiles and ruffles my hair. He pulls me on his lap and puts his arms around me. I like it. I look over to Hermann thinking – look, he is nice to me, even though mum is around. I push myself into him and lay my head against his breast. He seems to like it. He caresses my bare leg while he talks to the adults. They have a lot of fun. Mum tells some stories of me; I would rather not want others to hear. But every time I feel ashamed Johann ruffles my hair, caresses me, tickles me. Somehow I think – go on mum – this is nice; and all in front of my mother. So why, WHY! can't Hermann be nice to me in front of my mother?

***

The days go by; my mother goes back to work. Johann's becomes a regular visitor. He talks to Hermann a lot. Johann has time – he doesn't work anymore.

One evening I can't sleep very well. Around midnight I stand up and walk to the living room. Johann and Hermann are sitting there while mom is off to work. I enter the room, Hermann speaks, but he sounds slurry.

Johann sees me and makes an inviting gesture, "Look who's here, Hermann!" Johann says, and I sit in my pajamas on his lap.

I smell the distinct smell of Johann instantly. I can see that Hermann gets beet red in the face. Without a word, he stands up and goes to the toilet.

"He is a little drunk," Johann states as I lay my head against his breast. "You wouldn't believe, what people tell you when their drunk," he adds.

He caresses my bare leg again; I have pajamas with shorts. He kisses me on the forehead, it feels great. He moves his hand to my bum and kneads it lightly.

"What are you doing here, Leo? Why aren't you asleep?"

"I can't," I answer.

"You know what? As a doctor, I have the right thing for you. Let me see." He stands up and heads for the kitchen. After some time he comes back with a glass of warm milk. "See – here we go."

He sits down again and lets me sit on his lap. I start to drink the milk, and Herman comes back and slides on the couch. Johann kneads my bum again, and Hermann smiles, but not to me, to Johann. I look at Johann and see him wink to Hermann and smiles too. I finish the milk and put the glass on the table.

I still feel wide-awake. Johann starts to caress my back under my shirt. I recognize it, but I don't care really. I don't feel tired but limper. I cannot move my muscles, and my mouth is open.

"Hmmm. Look at you, Leo." Johann states, as he looks me in the eyes and moves my arm.

I feel so relaxed I can hardly move. Johann pulls my shirt over my head to it off and lays it on the table. Then he lifts me up and brings me to Hermann who puts me on his breast.

"Shall we?" Johann asks Hermann.

I don't hear anything, and suddenly Johann pulls my shorts down. I am naked now and feeling a bit weird. Hermann pulls his penis out of his trousers and rubs it hard. Johann hands him something. Hermann uses it to lube my back entrance. He aligns his penis to my hole and gently pushes it in.

To my surprise, Johann also takes his penis out. I thought only Hermann would do this. Then – wait, Hermann is doing it with Johann here.

Johann's is not yet hard. He turns my face toward him. He opens my mouth with light pressure on my chin and shoves his penis in my mouth. He tastes different from Hermann, I think to myself, but I don't react in any way; It is just something I recognize.

I find it hard to move my tongue or do anything I just feel how Johann rubs his meat, and I feel it grow in my mouth. Hermann starts to fuck me harder just as Johann gets hard and starts to thrust it in and out of my mouth. I feel Hermann and Johann's dicks moving inside of me.

After some time, Hermann wants to change position. They just lay me with my back on the couch and Hermann pushes my legs up. My head hangs down over the edge allowing Johann to kneel down and put his meat back in my mouth, while Hermann pushes his penis into my back hole.

Herman starts to pound me now; it hurts a lot. I realize that it hurts – but I can't do anything about it. Some muffled moans come out of my mouth. It sounds as if they are coming from another boy, not me.

Johann starts to get serious as well. He uses my mouth just as an open hole for his meat. Saliva drools out of my mouth, landing on my cheeks. My little limp body is being pushed everywhere like a rag doll. I am being pounded from both sides.

Johann is the first to cum. He moans and freezes. His dick twitches and shoots his load in my mouth. I remember what Hermann said and think I should swallow – but cannot do it. Johann's juices start to flow out of my mouth together with my saliva up my cheek to my temple and in my hair on one side of my face. Johann's cum tastes really strong.

Finally, I manage to swallow some, in slow motion, which takes a lot of effort from me. Johann looks surprised and happy. He pats my cheek, the one without saliva and sperm. This brought Hermann over the edge. He pushes in deeply and hard and shoots his load in my bowels.

They both sit on the couch. Johann repositions me so that my head lies on the sofa as well. They talk about what has just happened and how much they liked it. They clean me up. Johann carries me to my bed naked and puts me under the covers. Eventually, I fall asleep.

To Be Continued