Here is my other problem, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time last night. Good news right? Wrong! It was fine when we were just friends. I dated a lot, and he knew all about it. I'd suck their dicks, while they played with my heavy tits. I even let guys fuck and cum in my ass. It was not a secret, everyone knew I was a slut. Ron and everyone else thought I was a virgin; that I was saving myself for marriage cuz I never let a guy fuck my pussy. In a way I guess a part of me feels like I am a virgin. I have never surrendered myself to a man, I have never said "I love you" and allowed him to take me completely. My virginity was stolen from me. I don't even know exactly when my father took it.

To me sex has always been a dirty little part of life, like shitting or puking. I mean you get an urge, a certain pressure and you have to release it. I've had lots of boyfriends. Most of them loved bending me over and fucking me up the ass. I let them do it as hard and as brutal as they liked. Lot's of guys would talk dirty to me calling me a whore or a slut as they squeezed my tits and came in my ass. I never let them play with my pussy though, I always masturbated myself to orgasm. I didn't need their filthy hands touching me. I never wanted a man to have that kind of control over me again.

Then I met Ron.

He was so different. We had a chemistry class together. We had never really talked. He was a quiet nerdy, Boy Scout type. Don't get me wrong he is actually kind of cute if you look past his Urkel glasses, and fashion tragedy attire. One day he came up to me and out of the blue said he liked the way I answered one of the Professor's questions. That's it, just a comment in passing as we walked out the door. I was 19 years old and nobody had ever praised my mind before. When you are a pretty blonde with big tits, a nice ass, and a rep for being a freak nasty cum slut; that's not what guys usually want to talk to me about. Ron really looked at me, in the face. His eyes did not stray to my fat tits. I never caught him wandering down to my juicy ass. He really thought I was smart and funny. I had never trusted a man after my father raped me, but somehow, slowly we became friends. As a friend he had a problem with the guys I dated, with the way I let them treat me.

We were studying for mid terms and had taken a break at Burger King when one of the loser guys I had been fucking came up to our table. He leaned across Ron and gave me a hot. wet kiss.

"Hey Susan, looking good enough to fuck in those jeans, Mmm I sure would love to see you sucking my dick tonight, what do you say, is it a date?"

"Sure Jim see you around nine."

"Meet me at the door naked. I can't wait to fuck your sweet ass. See ya slut," he said as he reached out and gave my nipples a friendly little squeeze.

After he left Ron let me have it. I had never seen him so angry. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why did you let him do that to you. " I...I could not explain it to him, I did not really know myself. But I liked Ron and did not want him mad at me so, I offered him what I thought any man would want.

"Look I'm sorry. You can fuck me too if you want. I don't know why we have never done it but I promise to be real good for you. You can do anything you want to me, except fuck my pussy," I said with all sincerity.

No man had ever turned down an offer like that from me. Frankly I was sitting there waiting for that glazed over look to settle on Ron's face. For him to start planning all the nasty things he would do to me. Imagine my surprise when he started crying, got up and left without a word. I tried calling him for two days with no luck. I kept playing the conversation over and over in my mind, but could not figure out what his problem was.

But it bothered me.

It made me feel empty and cold to think that I had lost my friend, my only friend.

I decided to go over to his apt and find a way to make things right between us. Even if I had to let him fuck my pussy I would. He meant that much to me.

I knocked on his door and he opened it.

"Come on in, I guess we need to talk."

I followed him and we sat down on his couch. I was nervous and uncomfortable, and not sure how to start.

"Ron, I'm sorry if I upset you the other day. That guy meant nothing to me. If you want me to stop talking about other guys I fuck around you, I will. If you want me I'm yours-I'll do anything for you...I guess if you say I have to you can fuck me in my pussy too." I could not look him in the eye I was holding my breath waiting for him to accept or reject me. Slowly he put his arms around me and pulled me into a tight bear hug. I started kissing his neck and was pulling my t-shirt off when he stopped me.

"Susan, keep your clothes on, nothing is going to happen. I have to tell you something, and it's not going to be easy. Susan-I love you. What's more I like you. I want to be your friend. I can't bear to watch the way you let men use you. It hurts too much. So...I think I have to get you out of my heart. I don't understand what made you this way, but I want to be there for you, as a friend. A part of me just wants to hold you and caress you and worship you, to wash away every asshole who has ever touched you. I want you to love me and respect me. I don't think that's possible now. It's too painful to be around you all the time. So I'll have to cut back some, but I'll be there as much as I can. Ron held me tight for a good 20 minutes. It was slowly sinking in that he did not want me.

He did not find me attractive. I began to wonder if he was gay. Over the next 3 weeks I saw him a few times. We talked on the phone every couple of days and even studied together once at the library. Then it happened.

I was walking across campus and saw Ron talking(laughing really) with some nerdy bimbo bitch. She was flirting with him. It was so fucking obvious, to everyone but him. The way she kept putting her hand on his arm and leaning into him. She had a squeaky little giggle that made me want to slap her.

How dare she touch my... ?

He said he loved me, he was my...?

I don't know what he was, but he was MINE!

I stomped over to them and screamed at her, "Get your hands off of him he belongs to me bitch!"

The prissy little sissy slut took one look at me and ran away crying. I think she went off to find her mommy.

Ron looked startled and in shock.

"What just happened Susan, Why did you do that." As the adrenaline surge leaked away from me I could not believe what I had just done. Why had I done it?

"You belong to me. She had no business touching you. You are mine. I..love you," I said in a small voice. I was so cold, big sloppy tears were dripping down my face. My teeth were chattering and my nose began to run. Ron wrapped his arms around me and kissed me slow and deep. He sucked all the bad air in me out and breathed his sweet essence in. "I love you too Susan, I guess we need to talk."

It has been a long time since I was as scared as I was the night I had to try and explain my past to Ron. My early teen years were a nightmare, I had never told anyone all the things my rapist did to me. I told him the basics that night and it opened the floodgates.

I am writing it all down now, getting it out in the open. I have been a prisoner to my father's sick cruelty for long enough. My father is an asshole and I will hate him forever for what he did to me. I felt so alone, so helpless. Nobody would have believed me, everyone thought he was a great guy. So did I until I was 15.

My parents got divorced when I was 11.

I still loved my daddy then. I remember feeling sorry for daddy. He had to leave home, and our friends, and even our dog; and live in that 1 bedroom apt all alone. Just because mommy did not love him anymore. I tried to adjust to being a divorced kid, and for a while it really was not bad. My parents were not fighting anymore, and I got to spend every other weekend with my funny dad. I liked having him all to myself, being the center of attention. At first I would sleep on his hard sofa bed. One night though daddy and I were watching TV and both fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to use daddy's empty bed. The next morning I awoke to find daddy's heavy arms wrapped around me. If I'm truthful with myself...it felt nice to feel his hot breath on my back, to feel his body heat through my thin nightgown. When I tried to get up he hugged me to him even tighter. I could feel him pressing into me.

"Dad, dad wake up." I said as I pulled his arm off of me. Slowly he did. He looked down at me and it took a few seconds for him to register that his daughter was in bed with him. Finally he smiled, yawned and said, "Good morning beautiful did you sleep well?" "I sure did, your bed is a lot more comfortable than the sofa. Uh...you don't mind do you dad?"

He was quiet for a few seconds and then said, "No I don't mind. You feel nice and toasty up against me...shit Susan look at the time it's almost 11:00 if we don't fly out of here you'll be late for soccer and the coach won't play you."

You have to understand how important soccer was to me at age 11. I was our teams star player. If I was benched we would lose and all my friends would blame me.

Today was the championship game.

"Dad please we have to hurry," I squealed as we got out of bed. "Honey I'm sorry but by the time you shower, use the bathroom, and bush your teeth...and then I do the same-there is no way we can make it." An inspiration born of desperation hit me: "Dad what if we use the bathroom together. While I'm in the shower you can use the bathroom. Then we will switch."

Dad got a strange look on his face but finally agreed," I guess it is no worse than us sleeping together", he mumbled. Dad let me go in and hop in the shower, and a few seconds later I heard him come in. It felt strange being naked in the same room with my dad but..well he WAS daddy after all it wasn't like he had never seen me naked before. This time he could not even see me clearly through the shower door. When I was finished I cracked the door and was feeling for my towel.

Then I saw him.

Daddy was shaving-naked. I must have gasped because he spun around and tried to cover his penis, but it was way too big to hide. I had never seen one before and I guess I was curious. I could not stop staring. It kept getting bigger and longer and was twitching. "Susan what do you think you are doing!" my father roared. I was startled back to reality and embarrassed. I jumped back into the shower, closed the door and began to cry. After a few minutes daddy knocked on the glass. "C'mon out sweetheart it's ok, daddy is sorry he yelled at you," he said as he opened the shower door.

I was naked and so was daddy. He opened his arms for a hug. It felt strange hugging him naked. I had never felt his penis press into me before. It felt so big and hot as it pressed into my bellybutton. Suddenly daddy lifted me under my arms and gave me a kiss-on both cheeks and then a light one on the lips. He carried me over to the sink and sat me on the counter. Now his penis was bumping around between my thighs. Everything was happening so quickly, I did not know what to say. Daddy acted like nothing was wrong. He stood between my legs and talked to me while he finished shaving. As strange as it felt being naked in front of him, and feeling his penis touch me...I was young and innocent and loved my daddy. It felt kind of nice to be so close to him. I can remember how mommy and daddy used to sleep together and shower together. I recall the laughing and giggling, and soft mummers that used to come from their bathroom. It made me feel grownup to be sharing this time with daddy. As I look back on it I know how wrong it was for daddy to be naked with me, to lean forward and hold his dick tight against my lower stomach, to press in to me.

If he had only stopped there I could forgive him, I would still love him.

If only he had stopped there.

We made it to practice just in time. I still can remember running down the field , evading defenders to get in position to score. It was a tough game. The score was tied. Finally it was just me and their goalie. Over the noise on the field, over all the other parents screaming, I could hear him. My father's deep booming voice yelling my name, cheering for me, willing me to win," Now Susan, Now! You can do it!! She can't stop you!" he said laughing, powerful, dominant, because he KNEW I would win.

And he was right.

I was carried off the field, by my teammates. I know it was just a Little League championship, and it really was not all that important...but how many times do you get carried off the field in a lifetime. How many times do people scream your name and tell you that you are the best. Once , maybe twice?

Maybe never.

When I finally made it to my father he bent down and hugged me hard and said, "congratulations baby, you were better than all of them I am so proud of you," then he kissed me on the lips and slipped his tongue inside me for a second or two; before picking me up and swinging me around.

I called my mom when we got back to dad's apt. She had to work and had missed the game. Mom was an executive secretary for a lawyer and they had a big case coming up. He was always making her work late or on weekends. It was not strange for him to take a last minute business trip. More often than not mom had to go with him.

"Mom we won! I kicked the winning goal. It was so awesome! I wish you had been there. "

"Oh honey me too, Mommy is really busy right now. I'll see you tomorrow after school, bye sweetheart."

Dad saw the disappointment on my face. He was sitting in his recliner, and patted his lap for me to come sit in it with him. I smiled and scrambled up in his lap and wiggled around trying to get comfortable. "Oh ho! So I've got a little wiggle worm do I? Well I know how to fix that," daddy laughed as he began tickling me. His hands were all over me. Then he did something strange. He lifted my shirt and began playing with my stomach. He made circles around my bellybutton. His hands kept creeping up my chest till he found my budding nipples. It did kind of tickle..but I knew this was wrong. I did not like it.

How do you tell your daddy to stop touching you? I was 11 fucking years old! He was my daddy, and I loved him-I did not know what to say. I remember that I stopped laughing, and sat still while he squeezed and played with my breasts for several minutes. I could hear his heavy breathing, he did not say a word. I became aware that his penis was pressing into my bottom hard. Finally he stopped. "What do you want for dinner Susan, anything you want."

I was an 11 yr old American, so of course I said, "Pizza". Dad laughed as he put his hands on my butt and slowly pushed me out of the chair.

"Big surprise, ok I'll call it in after you take a bath. You are one stinky, smelly little wiggle worm."

We both laughed as I headed off to the bathroom. I did smell pretty bad I thought as I turned the shower on. My hair was stringy with sweat and I felt salty and dirty all over. I lathered in soap and shampoo and began to relax into the hot water.

I heard a sound, someone was in the bathroom with me. The shower door opened and my dad was standing there naked. "Dad...? What are you doing?! " I said as I tried to cover my tiny breasts. I was still feeling a little strange after our tickle session bump and grind.

"Hi honey, I was just thinking were both hungry, hot and smelly-and we did see each other naked this morning so-why not get clean together. We'll eat that much faster. You don't mind do you baby? I used to change your diapers and give you a bath all the time," he said as he climbed in to the small shower with me.

At first he just lathered up and did not touch me. He was laughing and talking about the game and suggested we rent a movie for later on. Slowly I relaxed.

Then it happened.

I dropped the soap. I bent over with shampoo in my eyes trying to pick it up. I did not realize it then but I must have given my daddy quite a view of my young pussy and ass. When I finally found it my face was at crotch level with my dad. His beefy cock was right in front of me. I was so embarrassed. I just stayed there and stared at it. When I realized what I had done, and that daddy was looking at me I blushed and started to stand up.

"No honey stay there, it's ok. You are my daughter. It's only natural that you would be curious. You are becoming a woman, so I guess it is time we had a talk about sex and biology. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Go ahead touch it, he won't bite you, He laughed as he placed my hand on his dick.

I was curious, and did not know any better so I let him do it. It felt so hard and hot and my fingers could not quite meet as I wrapped them around daddy's cock.

Daddy sighed and it seemed like his dick got even bigger in my hand. "C'mon Susan let's finish our shower and then I'll teach you the basics about sex. Since you are down here anyway and have the soap, why don't you wash daddy's cock for him, be sure to get my balls and butt too." I did not say a word as I washed my daddy good, from cock to balls, to the crack of his ass. I used my hands to lather him and rinsed him off. I stood up to leave.

"Not so fast young lady, fair is fair, give me the soap..good. Now raise your arms over your head. Daddy is gong to wash you now. And he did.

For the next 10 minutes daddy took his time and rubbed and played with, and soaped, and rinsed every inch of my body. "Bend over sweetie, I want to clean your little pussy out, before I do your butt."

After a few minutes of him messing with my pussy, and digging in my ass; I finally said, "Dad, I think I'm clean."

He laughed, seemed to snap out of it and said, "Yeah I guess you are right."

We got out of the shower and daddy insisted we towel each other off. He wrapped me in the large towel and began to rub me dry. I could feel his powerful hands squeezing and cupping and mauling me. He roughly spun me around and did the same to my plump little ass.

Then he took the towel, put it between my thighs and sawed it back and forth over the sensitive flesh. Finally he wrapped the towel around his penis and made me dry him off. On the way out of the bathroom he picked up a bottle of baby powder and baby oil and led me to his bedroom.

I was very nervous as Daddy made me lay down on his bed. He removed the towel from around my waist.

"Susan it's time you learned about the differences in men and women's bodies. I'm going to give you a massage while I teach you.

If you have any questions just let me know. Now do you know what this is...that's right it's your daddy's penis but it is also called a cock, a dick or a prick. I want you to use the correct words when we are alone. Now what is this...yes honey it's your vagina. But it is also called a pussy, a slit, a snatch or a cunt. Now when a man gets excited because he is looking at a sexy woman, his dick gets hard and fat cuz he wants to stick it in one of a woman's holes. This is called fucking. When you are older maybe I'll show you, but for now I'll just say men love fucking women in their wet cunts, in their tight little asses and in their sweet, round mouths. It is natural for men and women to enjoy each other," he said as he massaged baby oil deep into my body.

It felt strange to have daddy touch me in places I had barely touched myself. But he said everything in a normal, matter of fact tone, and well...he was my daddy. I trusted him, I knew about bad words but I had never heard most of these before. (Cunt, prick, slit? ) Nothing daddy did hurt me, in fact it really kind of made me feel tingly and warm. I had wondered about sex and was kind of glad daddy was being honest with me.

Even if it made me feel kind of weird.

I did not know how to articulate back then but being naked in front of daddy, having him play with my pussy, stick his pinkie in my ass and rub my titties, embarrassed me. I was shy about my body, daddy made me feel like a desirable woman, when I knew that I was not. The conflicting, confusing, embarrassing emotions basically caused me to shut down whenever daddy touched me like that. I did not participate, but I did not scream for help.

Daddy rolled me over on my stomach and covered me in baby powder. He straddled my body, and I could feel his hard cock pressing into my back. His strong hands gripped and pulled on my flesh. He positioned my body into an "X" and rubbed my arms, cupped my tits and ran his fingers around the outside of my pussy lips.

"Let's see how clean you are after the shower I gave you, he said as he scooched down, spread my butt cheeks apart and began slowly licking my ass.

This was different. This was more than uncomfortable. I was really scared.

"Daddy no! please stop, don't do that it's wrong!" I found the courage to say as I tried to crawl away from daddy's tongue as it slithered into my asshole.

He kept holding me down and licking me for several seconds before he stopped. Then he slid next to me in the bed and pulled my naked body into his arms and just held me.

"Shh it's ok baby, daddy loves you. You just lay right here. You are such a beautiful, intelligent woman that I thought you were ready for more. Most fathers don't start teaching their girls about sex until after their period and first real bra. I can see that you are not quite ready to be a real woman yet. That's ok there is no rush. We'll take it slow, you are in charge. Whenever we practice sex you can tell me if I'm going too fast, or if you are uncomfortable. Susan I'm your daddy and I love you. Now remember this is a private thing just between us. If your mom found out she might use this as an excuse to keep us apart. If a judge agreed that you are too young, then I would never see you again. Do you understand?" he said as he held me snug and secure in his arms.

This was my daddy. He loved me and I loved him. The thought of never seeing him again was terrifying. What had he really done to me anyway. He kissed me(done that before) he saw me naked(done that), bathed me(yup). I think the only thing that was new was that now I got to see him naked too, I guess at the time I thought that was only fair. The ass licking though...that was really gross. But at age 11 he was still my daddy.

"Deal dad but...no more sex stuff tonight ok?" "Deal kiddo," he laughed as he tickled me the normal way and hugged me tight to him. It felt good having my bare skin pressing into my strong daddy, feeling his deep laughter bubbling up as he hugged and cupped me.

My pre teen sex life with daddy really did not change much over the next 2 years. I spent every weekend with him, and whenever mom went out of town on business(sometimes a week or more at a time). I no longer slept on the couch, I slept with daddy. Daddy seemed to like me to sleep next to him naked so usually I did. He liked showering with me so at least once over the weekend we did. He often insisted on soaping me himself, just to be sure I was clean...it felt a little weird but...I let him. Sometimes though it was clear that he was just playing with my growing tits and plump ass. sometimes his only goal seemed to be to make me wet. I never let things get out of hand. I would always stop him. I never let him make me cum, or put his mouth on me. It was a strange childhood but I really did not mind at the time. If it had stopped there I could have forgiven him. I swear to god if it had stopped there I would not hate him so much today.

It did not stop there.

The phone rang in he middle of the night. Daddy was spooning me. His arm was draped over my 32 c breasts, and my butt felt warm pressed snug against his fat 7" cock.

Daddy answered the phone and soon was wide-awake. He got out of bed and asked a series of rapid fire questions to the person on the other end. Then he hung up.

"Susan honey, wake up...Baby girl I've got some really bad news. Your mom was in a car accident. That fucking lawyer she works for was driving drunk on their way home from the airport. He flipped the car and they ran into a tractor-trailer. I'm sorry but she is dead." Daddy and I stood there consoling each other for a long time. A lot changed after my mom's death. She had been on a business trip, her company had a $200,000 insurance policy on all employees. It paid double if you were dismembered. (Mom neglected to change her policy when she divorced so dad and I split $400,000 a her co-beneficiaries. Her firm was afraid we would sue because her boss(one of the Partners) was drunk and caused the accident.

They settled out of court directly with daddy for $1.7 million. Dad could not believe his good luck. A woman he no longer loved left him $200,000 plus his share of the house. He was the executor of the settlement, and Ins money for me until I turned 21. I lived with him every day now. He did not have to worry about my mother finding out. I was 13 years old when my father started drugging and raping me in my sleep.

You have to understand that it took me several years to piece together what he did to me. At the time all I knew was that some mornings I was waking up fuzzy and groggy with a dry mouth. Whenever that happened there was blood and what appeared to be mucus in my pussy and sometimes my ass. I had to talk to someone. For me at that time in my life there was nobody but daddy.

"Hi sweetie, wow you slept late. Hmm you look awful," he said as he felt my head for a fever.

"Dad I feel terrible, I am so tired, and my head hurts and...dad there is something wrong with my vagina-it's bleeding, and infected!" "Susan are you sure it's not your period? he asked in concern. I had been having my period for almost 6 months, it was not time, and it had never been like this. My pussy felt like it was torn, ripped open. And the thick mucus that was dripping and mixed with blood...?

"No dad this is definitely not my period."

"Ok honey, I think I know what this is(sigh!). Your mom and grandma both had this. I'm sorry honey but you have a rare form of cervical cancer. We'll have to get you to the hospital right away so the doctors can begin the tests and start you on the treatment. The good news is it will not kill you. We'll get through this together. I promise," he said as he kissed me and hugged me tight.

I was terrified. I was 13 years old and I had cancer. "What will the Dr. do to me? I want to know everything. Swear to tell me the truth daddy," I demanded through bitter tears and a clenched voice. Daddy clearly was uncomfortable discussing this. The same man who could talk about pussy fucking and ass licking seemed unwilling to discuss this.

That scared me even more.

"(Sigh!) Ok honey , I'll tell you. You have a series of pollups and lesions that form in the lining of your vagina. From time to time they swell and rupture the skin. When they burst blood and puss come out. It is important to get the area cleaned and medicated immediately. The Drs. will stick a needle in your vagina and probe for these pollups. They will scrape the lining and try to stick the needle in and extract the fluid before it can rupture. Because this is a rare form of cancer several Drs. will want to examine your vagina and take pictures of it, and probe it for the medical journals. Often this cancer can spread to your ass as well. The Drs. will stick a needle in you ass to extract the fluid, but it is a much smaller area. The we'll need to insert a tiny camera into your anal canal to guide the needle. A nurse will hold your cheeks wide open, while one Dr. inserts the camera, and another does the pollup scrape. You will need to have this procedure done at least once a month. In some cases the pollups can spread to your breasts and lead to breast cancer. A thorough breast exam should be done at least once a week. I know it sounds horrible but you will get used to it, and I promise I will be there for you."

"Dad I can't do this. The thought of strangers taking pictures of my pussy...of it being published?! A needle scraping my vagina, a camera in my ass-oh dad isn't there anything else we can do? Please daddy, please!!"

Daddy thought about it for a long time as he held me. "Well...we do have the medicine from your mom, I mean, well I guess I could apply it to the area and search for pollups if you want. But Susan you have to promise me you will come get me whenever a pollup bursts, and if it gets too bad you WILL go to the hospital, no arguments. Deal?" I hugged and kissed daddy hard, " thanks, dad, thank you so much, I love you.

"Ok baby take your clothes off and I will get the medicine, so we can begin the exam.

Daddy was back in a few minutes with a tube of ointment and a Polaroid camera.

"Dad, oh no what's that for. You're not going to..." "I'm sorry Susan but I have to document everything. If your condition worsens the Drs. will need a complete record. I plan to buy a video camera and will record all of your exams. We must be thorough, we can't afford modesty. If your treatment works though, no one will ever see these except for me." Daddy smiled as he led me to the bed and instructed me to sit down.

"Ok let's get started", he said as he slowly cupped and prodded my left and then right breasts. He squeezed and pinched them both for several minutes, as he probed for any evidence of cancerous pollups. He explained that they often surfaced just below the nipple area , so he spent a great deal of time circling and tugging on them, flicking them until they got hard. He took several pictures. In one he instructed me to mash my tits together, in another he had me pull them wide apart. In the last one, after my nipples were long and hard he pulled on one and had me pull on the other to see how much elasticity remained, before he snapped the picture.

"Does that hurt honey...No? good. Then the cancer has not spread to your breasts yet. Now lay back on the bed and let me get a good look at your pussy."

I did as daddy asked and spread my legs wide for him. He produced a flashlight and put his face right in my crotch so he could check me for pollups. I could feel his hot breath on my pussy. He accidentally bumped his nose into me several times. Slowly he peeled my pussy lips apart and reached a finger inside me.

"Honey you are very dry and tight so I need to loosen you up before I can proceed. The Dr. has a machine that would spread you open, I only have my fingers. Try to relax."

For the next few minutes daddy slowly worked on my pussy. As I began to loosen and drip he added another finger, and went deeper. He spent a long time running his finger around the rim, and massaging my clit. "Daddy, you have to stop! Something is happening. I feel so hot, something is happening! Daddy!!" I shrieked as I had my first true orgasm. I clamped my legs tight on my daddy's hand and came all over him. I could see my juices running down his wrist. I was so humiliated. Daddy's fingers kept moving inside me and soon I had a second orgasm. "Shh don't worry, that's a good girl, cum for daddy. Your juices have natural antibodies that will help the medicine work." Daddy took several pictures of my vagina, all wet and glistening. Then he got the medicine and slowly worked it into my pussy. The cool cream was soothing and eased the pain I had been feeling since I woke up with blood and pus this morning. The medicine was working! "How does that feel baby," he asked with parental concern as he finished massaging my cunt.

Let's see I had cum twice, my pussy no longer hurt, and believed the cancer treatment was working. As I look back on how easily my father fooled me, how completely he deceived me I feel so angry. At him sure, but also at my own stupidity. But then...how was I supposed to know my daddy was an asshole. To me it was simple. I was hurt, and scared and came to my daddy for help. When he was finished I felt better. Yes it was an embarrassing place for him to inspect but...he was my daddy, and he loved me.

"Thank you daddy I feel so much better."

For the next two years my father drugged me, raped me in my sleep, and then treated me for it the next day. He gave me thorough exams, video taped every inch of my pussy. In time the cancer spread to my breasts. The were often extremely sore and had marks on them as if they had been bit and squeezed for extended periods. Several months after my diagnosis I developed cancerous pollups in my rectum.

These were extremely painful and bloody. My father did not rape me every day. No he was too smart for that. I still don't know what drug he used on me, but it must have been pretty strong. I think he was afraid I would become addicted to it, or worse-develop a resistance to its affect. By spacing out his rapes, I never did. I don't know exactly how many times he raped me, but I had a "Pollup burst" at least once a week for over 2 year. By my count that's easily over 100 rapes.

Some weeks I had multiple ruptures.

For 2 years my father convinced me I had cancer, For 2 years he put his filthy hands in me and molested my pussy and raped my ass- while I thanked him for helping me. He looked me in the eye and I swear I could see the love and concern that he had for me. He appeared to be the perfect father. Some nights we'd lie in bed naked, and just talk. I could share my fears and hopes and dreams with him, and he always had time for me, always seemed interested.

I used to wonder why daddy never remarried, never even dated. I asked him once. "You are all the woman I need sweetheart. Daddy would never bring an outsider in here to boss you around." Daddy was real big on privacy and "Outsiders". I guess that's why I had no real close friends and did not date. I was 15 years old (almost 16), and it was just daddy and me.

For 2 years my daddy committed some of the most horrible crimes imaginable.

And then it got worse.

You see I was 15 yrs old when I got pregnant.

Oh I did not believe it at first. I mean how could I be pregnant, I had never been on a date much less had sex with a boy. I ignored it when I missed my period. I told myself that the cancer might somehow be interfering. It was right before I discovered the truth that my dad purchased a computer. The Internet was still new, but he paid for the Compuserve service. I was allowed to use it too, and it was not long before I discovered the History feature. I visited all the sites my dad bookmarked. Surprise surprise, it was all porn. Story after story about fathers making love to their daughters. Pictures of young girls, spread and submissive, getting their pussys fucked by older men. Some sites catered to Incest, but there were Rape sites as well. This was the first time I considered the idea of a father raping his daughter. It bothered me. Why would daddy like such disgusting web sites? I became curious(suspicious?).

One day I checked Daddy's room and found his magazine collection. It was obscene. This was not Playboy or even Hustler. These were rape pictures. They were amateur stuff. The girls were spread and often tied, into the most debasing poses. Their eyes were dull and lifeless. On the Top shelf of daddy's closet there was a box of magazines. As I looked through these, I ran into a surprise that changed my life. I was the centerfold.

Pictures of my exams with daddy were in each of the magazines. From "Girl Toy". to Young-sluts" to Daddy's Little Girl", and many more; I was naked, spread wide and dripping cum. I was different from most of the other girls because I was usually alert, trusting, sometimes even smiling in my pictures. You see I did not know I was being raped and molested. I thought I was getting an exam, that made me feel good. I did not know perverts all over America would be jerking off to me, I thought only my dad or maybe a Dr. would see my pictures. I felt so cheap, so dirty. I could not bear to look at daddy over the next couple of days. I was so angry at him. The next time a pollup burst I could not stand the thought of him taking pictures of me, or letting him put his fucking hands inside of me. So I did not tell him.

Of course daddy knew something was wrong. He had after all brutally raped my ass and drugged me. When I did not come to him like a stupid little girl for treatment, he came to me.

"How are you feeling today Susan, how is your Cancer," he asked while stroking my tits in preparation for an exam. "Fine," I said as I pulled away from him.

For the next 4 days Daddy raped me harder than he ever had before. I was shitting blood, my tits had obvious bite marks, and my pussy was full of puss(sperm). I was now a week overdue for my period FOR THE SECOND MONTH.

You want to know how stupid I was? I just thought my Cancer had gotten worse. I sill did not suspect my dad of raping me. I mean how could he, I would never sleep through something like that. I knew he was sick, that he was selling my exam pictures. I figured he was probably enjoying playing in my pussy, when he examined me- but let's be honest my daddy had been washing my cunt with his bare hands since I was 11 years old. I had been sleeping naked with his hard dick pressed against me every night since I was 13.

Still I felt betrayed by him selling my cancer pictures. I began wearing a nightgown and panties to bed. I refused to let him bathe me, saying I was too old for that now.

And I stopped letting him examine me.

For four nights in a row he brutally raped me in my sleep. Each morning he would ask me how I was and pretend that he loved me. Each morning I would pretend nothing was wrong as I lay bleeding in a half drugged stupor.

I thought I was dying. On the 5th morning I asked to go to the hospital. Daddy told me to go shower and he would drive me in right away. When I washed the blood and sperm out of me and stepped out of the shower daddy was standing there naked. His cock was bobbing up and down and he was staring at my 36 d tits, fat ass, and nearly hairless cunt. He walked over to me and began to kiss me hard, powerfully. Now daddy had kissed me before, on the lips even. But this kiss was different it went on and on. He backed me up against the glass door and his cock was bumping into my hip. his hands were on my breasts, caressing them, tugging on me. At first I kissed him back the way I always did, to satisfy him, to get him to leave me alone. But this time he would not be satisfied. This time he demanded more from me. Daddy lowered his head to my breast and licked, and sucked and nibbled on them-hard.

I had enough.

"Daddy stop, let me go that's enough, I cried as I tried to push him away.

He stopped for a moment. Then he looked me in the eye and said," You know don't you. You know that I have been fucking you don't you, you little slut. Well that was nothing. I'm tired of fucking you while you sleep. I want to hear you beg, scream pleading for mercy. I want to see your titties shake as you try to get away. I want to see the look of fear and resignation in your eyes when you realize that you belong to me; that I can do anything I want to your body, and there is NOTHING you can do to stop me. Come on Susan it's time to get raped by daddy," he laughed as he pulled and jerked me down the hallway to his bedroom and threw me on the bed. I tried to kick him in his dick but he must have been expecting it. He caught my leg and twisted me onto my stomach.

"No matter how many times I fuck your wet little pussy, I can't help wanting to fuck your tight little ass. Ass, pussy, pussy, ass. I can never decide which to fuck first. I was going to be tender with you and fuck your cunt nice and slow for our first real time together-but since your tried to kick me, I guess we'll do this the hard way." My father started smacking me on my bottom with hard, loud cracks. "I(Smack) own(whack) this beautiful, round little (thwack) ass! I am going to fuck it(pound) suck it, lick it and stick it," he declared as he beat my ass. I was screaming and crying so hard I lost count but I assume he hit me 16 times cause at the end he said, "Here is one to grow on slut!"

Tears blinded my eyes, snot was dripping from my nose, and I could not catch my breath. But I still tried to get away. I managed to throw myself off the bed and crawl to the door.

Daddy caught me.

He pressed his weight down behind me kicked my legs apart and began forcing his way inside my dry ass. I felt the pressure build and clenched my cheeks together as hard as I could. Even though he had raped my ass many times before, I had always been asleep, passive. Now I was awake, fighting him, dry and clenched. I might have been able to keep him out if he had not pounded me on the back. The air rushed out of me and he slammed his fat cock home. My half healed ass scabs re-opened and I was soon slick with blood and pre-cum.

Daddy reached around and played with my tits, as he fucked me on the floor of his bedroom. It went on and on. I have no idea how long. He took his time and savored every moment. He would pound me, ram himself deep inside of me, and then rest there. I could feel his hot breath and sweat on my back. He reached down and began finger fucking my pussy. It was cruel and brutal. Apparently fucking me when I was awake was much more satisfying. He did not allow himself to cum while I was on the floor.

"Get up Susan" I want to taste you now. I am going to lick your sweet, fresh pussy. You are going to whimper and moan and cum like the hot little whore we both know you are. I am going to make you beg your daddy to fuck you. You will spread your tasty snatch and offer yourself to me. I am raping you now, but soon we will be making love. Daddy knows your body so well. He still loves you. You are my woman. Submit to me. Give daddy your pussy. You don't have a choice."

Daddy licked me for a long time. He was too strong for me to stop him from spreading my legs and burying his face in my snatch. He sniffed, and licked and drooled in my pussy for so long. He kept sucking and kissing my clit. At first I was scared I would cum, that I would give him the satisfaction of humiliating me. But as daddy continued raping me with his mouth, I realized that I was to angry(and scared) to cum. How dare he put that filthy mouth on me. His grunts and slobbers disgusted me. I would never cum for my rapist, I would never cum for a man I hated. Even if he was my daddy.

He was pretty angry at my defiance. I was supposed to be a helpless defenseless, submissive little girl. Daddy never expected or prepared for resistance. He was completely surprised when I grabbed the head between my legs and scratched him down the side of his face. He roared in pain ad disbelief.

"You scratched me you filthy bitch, you scratched your own father! You'll pay for that."

He ripped my legs open and positioned his dick at my entrance. He laughed as he slid into me. He went slow and made me feel every inch. Deeper, and deeper until he reached the bottom of my young cunt.

And then he stopped.

He did not fuck me right away. Instead he taunted me, invited me to try and escape. He suggested that if I begged hard enough he might let me go. At first I said nothing, I refused to give him the satisfaction but...what if it was true. Some people say rape is just about power. What if I gave him something, anything to get him not to fuck me.

I had to try.

"Daddy, I'm sorry for scratching you. I still love you, please don't hurt me any more. Please daddy don't rape me again. You are my daddy this is wrong. I'll do anything."

Daddy bounced around a little and made tiny thrusts forward. his fingers kept playing with my tits and clit.

"Good baby, but not good enough. I want to hear you beg me to fuck you. Like you are a slut who needs her daddy' fat cock to rip her apart. I want to hear you say the words. Like you are desperate for it. Then maybe it will be enough. Do it Susan, beg daddy like the cock whore you are. Do a good enough job and this is all over., he promised as his dick twitched and jerked inside me. He pulled out and slammed in again and held it.

I did not know what to do. I knew I could not get him off of me. I knew his dick was just about ready to rape me. I wanted to believe him. This was my only chance, as slim as it was what else could I do?

"Daddy I need your cock, I've always wanted it. I want to lick it and suck it all night. I love your cock daddy. The way you press it into me while I sleep. I bet it tastes so good daddy, won't you let me taste it? My ass is all itchy, it misses you daddy. I can see now I was wrong to resist. I am your woman dad. You can do anything you want to me. You own me. I'm just a dirty, filthy cock loving slut who needs her daddy to rape her. Thank you for raping me all these years. You are so good to me. I love you dad. Don't wait any more fuck me daddy, fuck me right now! I need it now! Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy fuck your little girl's pussy, pleassse!"

I was crying in desperation and frustration. In my heart I knew what was about to happen. I tried to convince myself that he might have mercy on me, after all I had done everything he asked. Maybe he would keep his word and let me go.

Daddy slowed things down and just held me for a few minutes. He began to kiss me softly, tenderly. He kept whispering my name and telling me how much he loved me. He was making soft shushing noises as he played in my ass and rubbed my clit.

"You have to kiss me back Susan, that's it stick out your tongue so I can suck it for you...mmm so good baby. See how nice daddy can make you feel? I told you I would not fuck you, or cum inside of you. You've been such a good little girl for daddy. Daddy needs you to bounce up and down on his cock a little. That's right, oh yeah, that's nice. Now a little harder, uh, harder! Yeah, now hold it. Keep kissing me, press those tits into me. Oh god you are such a fucking slut, such a good girl."

I had been trying not to rest my full weight on daddy's cock, to bounce just a little bit. But my knees were getting tired. As I felt my self sinking down on the meat inside of me, I started getting wet. Daddy had been playing with my clit for over 10 minutes-I could not help it. I could smell my juices now. I could hear them squishing and sloshing as I rode on daddy's fat cock. He was mashing and kneading my ass meat in his hands while he cupped me, while he fucked me. Every once in a while he stopped sucking my tongue and would concentrate on a nipple, on smelling, and sniffing my tits.

Daddy still was not really fucking me. Not ripping into me like we both knew he wanted. He was making me ride him. Every time I sank down on him he held me in place for a few seconds. I could feel him fill me completely. I could feel him pulse and throb, and twitch in time to the beating of my clit. I began to hold the slightest hope that he would not hurt me, that he would not cum inside of me.

I forgot one thing: My daddy is an asshole. "I knew it! I knew you would enjoy this, that you needed this. Your hot little body has been begging for my cock for years. Well you are going to get it, no more of your teasing. Can you feel daddy's cock Susan? Do you know how hard I'm going to fuck you? Oh god you are sooo fucking tight. I, uh, own uh, this, uh cunt!"

I just closed my eyes and tried to endure it. But the tears kept rolling down my face. I did not beg him not rape me any more, I knew it would not help. I just let him fuck me, and suck me, and lick me and stick me over, and over again. He laid me down in the missionary position and began power-fucking me. My tits were shaking wildly. My pussy was being ripped and abused as he pounded me. I had to make one final attempt.

"You promised dad, you promised not to do this. Please don't cum inside of me. Ok, I knew you were going to fuck me, but you don't have to cum inside of me. Please, stop Take it out, take it ou..NO!!!!" I shrieked as he spurted his cum inside me. It felt like piss to me and looked like snot. Finally daddy rolled off of me. I thought it was over.

I was wrong.

Even though he had cum inside me that was not enough for him. He had raped my ass, sucked my pussy, and fucked my cunt..but he had missed my mouth. As I laid there sobbing in the fetal position daddy straddled my face and said, "Open up slut you're not through yet," as he forced my mouth open and shoved his slimy prick inside of me. As he raped my mouth with his fat cock I gagged on him and could taste my own juices and blood. I was trying not to black out, and did not even plan to resist anymore.

Then daddy made a mistake.

"That's right bitch get me nice and hard so I can finish fucking your sweet ass. I'll never get enough, I will rape you forarrrggh!!! You bit me, you fuck!!!!, you bit my dickshiiit!!"

Daddy screamed in fear like a little sissy bitch. Blood was dripping freely from his cock. While grabbed a towel, I ran to the kitchen got a butcher's knife and locked myself in my room. It was several hours later when he knocked on the door. "Susan honey we need to talk."

"Stay away from me, I'm calling the police."

"I don't think that's such a good idea. If you do that. I'll make sure everyone sees your home movies and naked pictures. I'll spread them all over town. You are not even 16 yet, so you will have to live in a foster home for the next 2 years. If a Dr. examines your blood he will find that you are a long time drug user, and I'll say that you attacked me. You will have to get up on that stand and tell the whole world how stupid you were, how I fooled you and raped you for years. Who is going to believe that you did not know it was wrong to sleep naked in my bed, to let me wash your cunt, and soap your fat little titties? What jury is going to believe you were so innocent that you thought it was ok for daddy to videotape your pussy, and give you breast exams? Really Susan come on. Did you know I can pass a lie detector test? I've done it before. No Susan, I don't think you really want to call the police, he said as he laughed at me through the door.

"I hate you, I will never forgive you. I can't stand to be around you. I never want to see you again, " I screamed in rage at his betrayal. "(sigh) I can see that now. I'm sorry honey I know I let things get out of hand. I really did plan to seduce you at first but...well you were just so cute I could not resist. Here is what I suggest. You will be 16 in a couple of months. With a parent's permission you can be declared an emancipated minor. I will set you up in your own apt and give you a healthy allowance. As the Executor of your estate, at my discretion I can increase your access to your money or deny it until you turn 21. In this state a rape must be reported in 5 years or it cannot be prosecuted. When you turn 21 we'll be free of each other for good, if that' what you want. I hope you'll give your dad a second chance. We are all we have. I promise no more sex stuff unless you ask for it. You are in control. Do we have a deal?"

We did.

I moved out of my father's house in 3 months and got my own apt. I finished high school, got good grades and went to college. After being brutally raped and molested for years you might think I would be turned off from sex.

In a way I was.

I would never let a man control me, dominate me. My body belonged to me. Missionary sex terrified me. Feeling a man on top of me, was too submissive. The idea of a penis in my vagina was repugnant. I think I will always see my father's snotty cum-piss. I will always think of his fucking hands probing me, examining my pussy. I will always think of the sister or brother that I aborted(murdered?). No matter how badly I wish it were not true, I have been having sexual feelings since I was 11 years old. Since daddy used to tickle my tits and washed my pussy with his hands. Hot, nasty sex is a part of me. I like it, I want it, I need it.

I just don't need it from my daddy.

When I let a man fuck my ass I don't have to look at him. He can't get me pregnant. No matter how degrading some people think anal sex is, nothing gives a man more control, more power than missionary pussy sex.

When I sucked a cock I always know in the back of my mind that I can bite it, that I can clamp down on it and grind his dick up if he gets too rough. Even though I have been raped, drugged, molested, videotaped and abused in some ways I am still a virgin. I mean I have never given myself to a man willingly, completely. No one has ever been given my pussy, not to fondle, not to suck, and certainly not to fuck. I thought that I would never want to.

I thought I could never let somebody have me like that. As I sat next to Ron on the couch in his apt. I knew that hours had passed. For most of my story I had not looked at him, I could not meet his eyes. I could not stand to see pity or disgust, or worse lust in him. I looked at him now, and his face was unreadable. Somehow I found the courage to say, "I never thought I would find someone that I could trust enough, love enough to give my virginity to. Then I found you."

I felt myself start to shiver as I looked at him, as I waited for his response. He had not said a word as I told my story. As I searched his face, I saw the cool, unreadable mask that he had plastered on, begin to crack. Soon he was crying sobbing like a baby. It was...sweet, predictable I suppose, but it really did not want to console anybody right now. I did not want pity, even from the man I loved. "(Sigh) he is a kind, sweet, sexy little nerd and I love him. I guess I can put up with it," I thought to myself and smiled, and held him. Finally he stopped sobbing and let go of me. He looked at me and a coldness descended on his eyes. "Your father deserves to die for what he did. I am going to kill him."

I could not believe what I was hearing, this was insane. I did not anticipate Ron's reaction.

It got worse.

"No, killing him is not enough. He needs to be beaten, broken, scared for his life. He needs to be violated and betrayed like you were. I am going to rape your father...and I want you to help. When he is broken, raped, crying on the floor like a weak little sissy bitch, begging his baby girl for mercy-then I will spit in his face, piss on him and pull the trigger."

I had to stop this, I had to stop this right now. Ron had lost his mind. He was seething. This was not braggadocio or macho male shit. He was serious. An evil was settling over him. No, that's not quite right. This was more like righteous indignation, it was almost biblical. The kind of rage that would allow you to stone a person, or let fire come down from heaven and consume him. There was no mercy in it, no doubt, or desire to hold off. It was zealous. Ron was looking forward to executing his judgment.

"Ron, I know you care, I know you are doing this for me but..it is not necessary. I have gotten past this. I don't want to lose you. You'll be arrested and I'll be alone again. My father is an asshole, he is not worth going to jail over. Please don't do this."

Ron gave me a sad smile and said," I love you Susan, you are worth this. No matter what you say you are NOT over what your father did to you. I am going to hear him say that he is sorry for what he did. I want to taste his tears, I want to see him crawl to you naked and kiss your feet. But...I don't intend to go to jail. I'm in no hurry. We have plenty of time to plan his murder. Nobody knows what he did to you. You never reported it. You have not even seen the man in 3 years. We live 200 miles away. We can beat him, rape him, kill him and be back on campus before anyone knows we were gone. Plus we can alibi each other. Let's wait until after you are 21. Why would a multi millionaire kill her kind, sweet daddy. The police won't even suspect us. We'll get rid of all his videotapes, magazines, pictures and computer files. I love you baby, and I want to do this for us. I will beat him. I will rape him...but if you insist, if you really insist I won't kill him, I'll just castrate the fucker." I looked into the eyes of the man I loved and kissed him deeply. He pulled me up into his lap and I felt him get hard beneath me. Then he began tickling me and kissing my neck. It felt so warm, so familiar so right. I had 2 years to talk him out of killing my father. I had to admit t was a nice fantasy. The idea of watching Ron rape him, hearing him beg ME for help, maybe fucking saying he was sorry just one time-well it did make me feel pretty damn good. Maybe it was because Ron was touching my cunt through my jeans, but I started becoming aroused at the idea of raping daddy. I could fuck him with a dildo until HE bled. I could not help chuckling at the image of my strong daddy naked with a dildo in his butt saying, "Please Susan, help me, don't rape me, I'm your daddy, don't castrate me!" Maybe I would feel sorry for him.

Maybe we would just scare the shit out of him. Maybe we would not touch him at all.

Then again...maybe we would.

After all, my daddy is an asshole.

AFTERWORD

As I was writing this story I kept looking for the point where I would say "Jaz come on you twisted prick, this is just too ridiculous." I'm not sure if it is a commentary on me or the society in which we live that I never reached that point. Help me out, where did I cross the line. I mean we know incest happens every day all over America. It seems to me that a horny, single father would be more likely to commit incest than a married one. It seems to me that it would build from inappropriate touching and fondling before it got to true sex. Maybe a grope and a grab while she was sleeping. Ok, so that is not too unbelievable.

Hmm how about the drugged sex? Well a father would certainly have plenty of opportunities to slip a drug into his daughter's food or drink, to make sure she did not wake up during sex. So no problem there.

Really it came down to, how do you cover up the pain of the rape, the blood, and cum, and bruising.? Why wouldn't she go to the Dr? Then it hit me, little kids(and big ones too) hate the Dr. They are scared of needles. The first (and second, and third...)time a Dr. grabbed my balls and told me to cough I almost hit him. I am not old enough to have had a full proctological exam but it is coming up in a few years. Lord help me.

My point is if a Dr. came at me with a needle, and said he was going to stick it in my dick, one of us would probably have to die. In a previous story(Rape/ Betrayal #6 It's a wonderful life") I explored the idea of a father lying to his daughter to get sex. I decided to revisit this concept. Be honest with yourself. At age 13 what kind of lies could your parents get away with. Let's face it these are the same mother fuckers who convinced us there was a jolly fat man in a red suit that flew all over the world on reindeer and gave out presents to all good boys and girls. For many American kids this is the first lie we remember. They had us writing letters, and going to malls and sitting in some old winos lap, laying out milk and cookies, hanging stockings...whatever other sick shit they could think up. Somewhere in there was this baby who came from a woman who had never had sex, he could walk on water and had all kinds of other super powers. I remember asking my dad, looking him right in the eye if there was a Santa Claus. "Of course there is Jaz, and a Baby Jesus and an invisible god, and an Easter bunny and a man in the moon, it's all true you dumb fucker" he said(or words to that effect) with a paternal chuckle and a pat on the head. Sooner or later we find out that we have been betrayed, that we have been lied to. There's an old saying "fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." My parents burned their freebie when I was 6 years old. Oh I loved them, and trusted them for the most part but...I always knew in the back of my mind that if it suited them they MIGHT lie to me, convincingly- to my face.

So come on, be honest. When you were a kid did your parents lie to you. Did they tell you about doggie(kitty, goldfish, and hamster) heaven? If they had wanted to fool you into believing you had cancer could they have done it?

On that comforting note, good night, sleep tight and don't let your fucking parents bite.

There, now I can rest easy.

The End