The Eve of Victory: Translator's Notes

Translating Oosh's The Eve of Victory was a challenge I gladly took on, upon learning that 2 other translations have already been made during the 2002 Holiday Season, one in French and another in Chinese. With the prize-winning author's consent, I started work on the evening of January 1st 2003, and finished with the first draft of the translated text on the 5th of January, which I was to learn later, was the eve of Jeanne's 581st birth anniversary.

What I initially thought was a simple job of translation turned out to be a formidable challenge. I was to learn that appreciating a wonderful story like Eve is a totally different experience compared to trying to get into the author's mind and mind-set to be able to render what she has originally intended for her readers to read or apprehend. Oosh promised to help any/every way she could when she gave her consent for me to translate her piece, which won Best Short Story for the year 2002 in the recently concluded Golden Clitorides Awards. And that she really did! I would like to express my thanks to her in allowing me this novel and precious experience.

Below, I listed down some concerns I had with translating certain words or ideas from English to Filipino, and how I responded to these concerns, in the hope that those who will read the translation will better understand it, or those who will hopefully attempt their own translation in another language, can profit from it, however vicariously.

1. I had problems with the words “coat of mail” and “manacle” which are not part of our experiences as a people. Panicking that I may not be able to do a good job, I wrote to Oosh about it and she responded in this manner:

   There probably won't be a Filipino equivalent of a “coat of mail”. It was worn only by mediaeval warriors, as a protection against arrows. I think, though, that such things were known in China, so perhaps you'll find some way of expressing it. The coat was worn underneath armour. It wasn't made of cloth, but of metal: it was fashioned out of interlocking metal rings. It's sometimes referred to as “chain-mail”. The idea was that if an arrow penetrated the plate armour, it would strike against the interlocking rings of the chain-mail and so not wound the wearer. You could think of it as being like knitwear, only knitted out of metal!

   If some of these words don't really exist in Filipino, you might need to make something up, and put a glossary at the end with an explanation! Perhaps you can find an expression like “garment of chains” for “coat of mail”, and “iron bands to fasten the legs/arms” for “manacles”. Don't hesitate to ask: I'm sure there are many other obscure words! Eve was deliberately written in a rather archaic style and it does use a lot of words that aren't in our everyday vocabulary!

   Buoyed by her email, I proceeded to consult Fr. Leo English's English-Tagalog Dictionary (1977) (published in the Philippines by the Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer), considered one of the most authoritative sources for translation. I was surprised to find entries for both words with the translation, exactly what I thought it would be. For “coat of mail” it was “baluti” which actually is the same word used for the “armour” itself. Which only goes to show that no distinction is made in the language between the outer and inner garments. I thought “manacle” could be tranlated as “posas” in Filipino, but worried that might only pertain to “handcuffs” but found the same in English's dictionary. I proceeded to add the word, “tanikala” (chain) to give the reader in Filipino an idea about the chains attached to the iron bands for the legs and the arms.

2. I did have a question, too, about the translating the names of the protagonists of the story. When I asked Oosh what her thoughts on the matter were, she replied thus:

   In England, Jeanne d'Arc is called “Joan of Arc”. It may well be that in Tagalog she will be Juana [of] Arc — you'd probably find her in any encyclopaedia or dictionary of biography. But I used the French form of the name in my story, and perhaps you should do the same. I didn't want to make it too easy for readers to guess who Jeanne was until they were well into the story — and maybe, if they don't get it, they should only get it when they read the historical note. There, you should use the form of her name that would be most familiar in Filipino.

   The same with “Marianne” – she's a particularly French character and I think she should keep her French name.

   I decided to retain the form of the names she originally used in the story, and just add the Filipino form of Jeanne's name, together with it's English form, Joan, in the Story's Historical Notes’ translation.

3. Not being all that familiar with French history and Joan of Arc's career for that matter, I was puzzled by “the jump at Beaurevoir.” Initially I translated it literally as “paglundag” but it did not seem right, and made no sense at all. When I gave Oosh a copy of the first draft, I asked her about this and was surprised at how important this event was —

   Jeanne was imprisoned by the Burgundians (allies of the English) at Beaurevoir. She leaped from a window in the tower where she was imprisoned, and although she was hurt in the fall, she did manage to escape for a time.

   I ended up translating “jump” within this context as “pag-alpas,” which I think captures the essence of the idea.

4. Translating the words “precious relic” was tricky because I cannot remember a word for relic in our language, considering that we are 80% Catholic and relics are important in this religion. I gave it a shot at “natatanging labi,” which I hope is not too awkward.
5. As for “virginity,” I have encountered the word, “donselya” used more than a couple of times, and thought that it conveyed pretty much how our culture appreciated the concept and used it.
6. I have never expected the use of the word “empty” in the context of sexual fulfillment, so I quizzed Oosh on this, too –

   My use of “empty” – I intended it to have a non-literal sense, as also “drained” – tired, exhausted, no more energy, sexually satisfied... If the Filipino equivalent doesn't have that meaning, use a more imaginative translation! I wasn't aiming for any spiritual significance in the use of the word.

   So instead of using the word, “hungkag” which literally meant “empty,” the edited version now uses, “hapung-hapo” which is closer to Oosh's intended meaning.

7. I had difficulty choosing the meaning to give to “a short time” in the context of Jeanne and Marianne's parting, choosing between the 2 possible meanings, I chose “sandali lamang” which literally meant that. But just to be sure, I consulted with Oosh about this, and was sure glad I did because —

   “For a time” – Oh dear! This is deliberately left vague in English. If the Filipino equivalents carry either the sense of “for a short time” or “for a long time”, then the best way to deal with it might be like this:

   ”...you and I must part.”

   “For a short time?”

   “Yes, for a short time. Or a long time. I don't know [We cannot know].”

   I certainly want to suggest that Jeanne is keen to meet Marianne again, and that Marianne simply does not know the answer to the question “how soon?”

   So in the edited version of my translation, it came out this way:

   “Nang sandali?”

   “Nang sandali… O matagal. Hindi ko masabi.”

   To my mind this takes care of what Oosh wants to convey and does not seem contrived when spoken in Filipino.

I am sorry to have made these notes a little too long. Maybe the next translator can profit from what I put here, and hopefully not have to ask Oosh the same tedious questions I did.