Title: Sheikh Chilli waves a Punkah (Fan)
 Author: Nawabzada Taj-ood-Deen Khan Lakhnavi "Chota Lund Gora Londa"
 Item: Joke

 One day during the glorious reign of Padshah Akbar, the Caliph of
the Indo-Timurid or Mughal Empire, Sheikh Chilli went to the learned
Moolla Do-Pyaza and complained that his Bibi (wife) did not climax 
during intercourse. After thinking for a while, Moolla Do-Pyaza replied,

 "Must be because of the sultry hot weather, your Bibi does not
have enough air to breathe! Then how can she climax?" asked
Moolla Do-Pyaza.

 "Yes, Moolla Sahib, that is right!" replied Sheikh Chilli, thinking 
for a while.

 "So go and buy a big Punkah (Fan) and hire a muscular Kala Shudra
Punkah-Walla (Black Sudra Fan-Waver) to vigourously wave it for
you when you do the deed with your Bibi. Make sure he is a very
strong and very Kala Shudra Punkah-Walla as they can wave the
Punkah the best. This will ensure that she has enough air and so
she will have her mazaa (pleasure)," advised Moolla Do-Pyaza.

 Delighted, Sheikh Chilli did as recommended by the Moolla, and that
night he chod (copulated) with his Bibi while the stout Kala
Shudra Punkah-Walla waved the Punkah. However, the Sheikh was
dismayed to find that she still did not react to his efforts.

 So the next day Sheikh Chilli went to Moolla Do-Pyaza to complain
that his trick did not work.

 "I told you to hire a very strong and very Kala Shudra
Punkah-Walla who can wave the Punkah properly !" retorted Moolla 
Do-Pyaza.

 "Oh Moolla Sahib, I hired the strongest and most Kala Shudra
Punkah-Walla I could find," replied Sheikh Chilli.

 Moolla Do-Pyaza pretended to contemplate for a while, and then
replied, "Then that lazy Shudra Haramzada (Shudra bastard) does
not know how to wave the Punkah correctly, so all his effort is
going to waste and your Bibi is still too garm (hot) to have her
mazaa (pleasure," he explained.  "But I am sure you know how to
wave a Punkah, don't you?"

 "Yes, Moolla Sahib, I know how to wave the Punkah!"  replied
Sheikh Chilli.

 "Good. Then tonight, exchange places and You wave the Punkah
properly! I guarantee that your Bibi will have big orgasms
tonight," replied Moolla Do-Pyaza with a sly smile which Sheikh 
Chilli did not notice.

 With that, Sheikh Chilli went back to his house and told the
Shudra Punkah-Walla, "Dumb Kalloo Badzat (blackie of a useless
caste)!  You don't even know how to wave the Punkah? And you call
yourself a Punkah-Walla? Chutiya (stupid), tonight, I will show
you how to wave the Punkah!"

 So that night, Sheikh Chilli exchanged places with the hefty
Shudra Punkah-Walla. While Sheikh Chilli waved the Punkah, the
strong Kala Shudra Nokar (servant) copulated with the Sheikha
(Sheikh's Wife). Naturally, the Sheikha was soon shouting and
yelling in excitement. And sure enough, she had massive orgasms
with that Shudra Punkah-Walla all through the night.

 The next day, Sheikh Chilli profusely thanked Moolla Do-Pyaza for 
his advice, and even gave him an expensive gift: a jewelled set of
pa-poshes (shoes).

 "But Moolla Sahib, when will my Bibi climax when I chod (mate)
with her ?" asked Sheikh Chilli.

 "Don't worry, that Oolloo (stupid) Shudra Punkah-Walla will take
some time to learn how to wave the Punkah. Till then, you wave the
Punkah one night to show that Kalloo Oolloo (stupid blackie) how
to do it, and the next night, exchange places to see if he has
learned it properly. Continue in this manner till he learns it,"
replied Moolla Do-Pyaza.

 This continued for a while. Each time Sheikh Chilli complained to
Moolla Do-Pyaza, Molla repeated his advice to continue showing the
Shudra Punkah-Walla how to wave the Punkah.

 Sure enough, after a season it was clear that the Sheikha was
pregnant. The jubilant Sheikh Chilli presented Moolla Do-Pyaza
with a chest full of jewels.

 Then, after three-quarters of one sal (year), the Sheikha gave
birth to a Bacha (child). But the Bacha had a broad nose, thick
lips and totally black skin. Dismayed by the Bacha's clearly
Dravidian features, Sheikh Chilli went to consult Moolla Do-Pyaza
again.

 "Moolla Sahib, I think my Bibi has cheated me with another Admi
(man)!" exclaimed Sheikh Chilli.

 "And where did you get that strange idea ?" asked Moolla Do-Pyaza.

 "Moolla Do-Pyaza, my Bibi has just given birth to a Kala Bacha
(black child)! She must have cheated me with some Shudra or Sudani
(Sudanese, Nigro) man!" replied Sheikh Chilli.

  Moolla Do-Pyaza thought for a while and then replied, "Oh Sheikh 
Sahib, don't blame your innocent Bibi! It is the fault of that 
Haramzada Shudra Punkah-Walla of yours! He still doesn't know how to wave
the Punkah, so your Bacha got burned inside your Bibi's belly
because it was too hot!"

 Sheikh Chilli thought for a while. "Yes, Moolla Sahib, that is
why my Bacha was burned!" he replied. "I swear by Allah, I shall
fire that Shudra Punkah-Walla right away!"

 "But Sheikh Chilli, then all your effort of almost one sal (year)
teaching him will go waste!" countered Moolla Do-Pyaza.

 "Yes, Moolla Sahib. You are right! Then what shall I do ?" asked
Sheikh Chilli.

 "Continue trying to teach your Shudra Punkah-Walla as before. 
Some day he must learn !" advised Moolla Do-Pyaza.

 "Yes, Moolla Sahib! That is the right path forward! Thank you!" 
replied Sheikh Chilli.

 And if the Shudra Punkah-Walla has not yet learned, then Sheikh
Chilli must be waving the Punkah even today!

The End