SEX:  You've got your nerve.  Everybody knows about me and Uhura.

HOME:  Behind the Helm...for now.

HEIGHT:  Taller than Bruce Lee.

EYES:  Sparkling devilish black.

HAIR:  Glossy, ink-dark and finely textured.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TRIVID SHOW?  "Pirate Captains."

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  I don't keep mice.  Ick.

FAVORITE MAGAZINE:  "True Crime."

FAVORITE SMELL: Lusty Communications Officer.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:  Walking into Sickbay, about to kill Spock and Kirk and get the ENTERPRISE for my very own.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:  Right after the Best feeling in the world.  My men dissolved before my eyes and while I was spazzing the captain's sissy twin knocked me out.

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Whatever I want.

FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK:  "Romulan Wars"

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?  Can I kill the captain?

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?  God, no.  I have way too much fun rolling the ship around while dodging Orions, Klingons, Romulans, renegade Rigellians, Sigmans, Deltans and Centaurians, while leaving it up to Chekov to fire at them.  The sounds of puking in the background while McCoy curses me from the Surgery Room over the intercom warm the cockles of my heart.

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING?  I suppose they were at one time...but I outgrew that with my diapers and my dependency on breastfeeding.

PENS OR PENCILS?  What are those?

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?  I never miss the chance to listen to a potential informant.

FAVORITE FOODS:  Raw live octopus.  Its the only way I can freak out the First Officer.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?  Of course.  I am a filial son.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME?  Outside the Empire doesn't count.  If the Klingons and Romulans had their way, every man jack of us would be contestants in their deathrow game shows.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?  Why should I have to choose when chocolate topping works so well with vanilla ice cream?

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS?  You *can* put both on your salad at once, you know.  God.  I'm not having it put on my tombstone: "He debated and chose croutons!"

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?  Check my job description.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?  No, but I have rare cloth sculptures of the Drunken Kung Fu Gods.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  I don't do pets.

IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Something dangerous.

THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY?  I love 'em.  Especially since Uhura started taking Ruphenol to deal with 'em.

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?  Gladiator Alexandru.  Over 2,000 uncontested kills in two years.  Can you imagine?  Drool.  Autograph.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK:  Excuse me, but have you noticed my ethnic type?  Alcohol puts me to sleep.  Do you think a sopophoric is a good idea for a security chief?

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?  I was born in the year of the Tiger.

EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?  You don't waste food in the Empire.  The penalties are harsh.

GUYS--WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GIRL FOR HER SHIRT?  I have.  Lots of times.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Commodore of the Warships.  Eat my ion trail, stinking Roms!

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Like, hello?

IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?  A realistic knifehilt sticking out of my chest with TWIST TO REMOVE on the hilt.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?  Never graduated there.  Lust is more important.

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING:  No such thing.  Unless she was Uhura coming with a huge dowry, and under the influence of a ticking biological clock:  "Ohh, Hikaru!  We could make pretty babies!"

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?  Knives.  A Yari.  A couple of things that escape metal detectors.  Someday when Chekov offs Kirk (yeah right) I'm grabbing that fineground ceramic singlepiece Officer's Dirk he thinks I don't know about.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?  Always assume the worst.

WHAT IS YOUUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?  Snapple?  Sounds pansy.

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS?  Righty.  Lefties are all gaijin.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?  Is there another way to do it?

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  The reaping scythe.  Its a very respectable martial weapon in Okinawa.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?  Things.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?  Why would I have one?

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?  Never needed one.  It was always easier, cheaper and more fun to hotwire the wheels I needed for the evening.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DREAM CAR?  See above.

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH:  "Truth or Execution."

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:  Nyota is easy on my eyes.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?  Kyle.  He's in the Agony Booth again.  It was for his own good.

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