SEX:  Never enough
 
HOME:  Here of course.  Do you really think I miss that frozen desert?
 
HEIGHT:  Taller than Uhura.

EYES:  Treacherous puppydog brown.
 
HAIR:  Godiva chocolate brown

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TRIVID SHOW?  "Truth or Execution."
 
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD?  I am not answering until I am certain that is not a trick.

FAVORITE MAGAZINE:  "Praetorate Concubine Secrets."  Oh to have a few of those girls working for me...

FAVORITE SMELL:  A clean phaser

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:  Failing to kill the captain again.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:  Knowing the captain can't kill me because I know about his penpal on the Farragut.

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Weekends are for the lazy.
 
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: "Napoleon's Invasion of Russia."  It reminds me my frozen-desert homeland has some redeeming values, not the least being what finally humbled that little martinet.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?  Will Marlena ever find out about Areel Shaw?

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?  I am too busy trying to accurately blast enemy ships out of our trajectory under Sulu's mad steering to get motion sickness.  Later on, when things are quiet, I usually go to Sickbay and throw up.

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING?  That is a redundant question.
 
PEN OR PENCILS?  Why would I use such a primitive method of writing when I can employ a stylus?  You can write on *any* surface with them, including your captain's comm number on the the chest of the prostitute who passed out before giving you full service.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE COMM?  I don't answer comms.  That is why Uhura sits at Communication.

FAVORITE FOODS:  I have no favorite foods.  I used to work in the galley.  It somewhat kills the romance.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?  My mother, da.  My father is a raving alcoholic who keeps telling me to grow taller.  Someday I will find my mother a proper boyfriend and slit my pater's throat.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME?  What kind of crime?  That is such a blanket question.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?  (scorn) Upper class foods.
 
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS?  Yes, Russian style--old stale bread and scraps of the neighbor's fried bacon.

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?  I would love to drive, if only to save us from Sulu.  But I never get the chance.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?  Why would anyone want to do that?  When the winters can get 50 below, only a live animal can contribute any warmth.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Siberians do not keep pets.  We have Samoyeds as companion species, however.  They pull our sleds, guard our herds, contribute warmth at night, and produce a fine angora-grade wool in their undercoat.  Plus we can always eat them when things get *really* harsh.

IF YOU COULD BE ANY KIND OF ANIMAL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  All animals are edible.  I would prefer not to sink any lower than I already am on the food chain.

THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY?  Thor is not a god you are impolite to.  You *like* his storms.  You *love* them.
 
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?  I can't imagine wanting to meet someone dead.  As for alive, anyone I'm supposed to meet, I eventually will.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK:  Black currant vodka.  Mix that with a decadant western soda.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?  Is that a religious question?

EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?  Broccoli is an invention of the Roman conqueror bastards who made the Empire what it is today.  I do not eat Broccoli.  Nor do I eat the other bizarre Roman foods they brought with them, such as stinging nettles, carp, and stuffing dormice.

GUYS--WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GAL FOR HER SHIRT?  Women do not wear shirts on this ship.  They wear distracting halter tops and somehow can hide an arsenal of weapons inside them.  It is my job to figure out their topographic mastery of this art.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Any rank above this one.  I can't believe I killed Benton for this place.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Anything else would be a lighter shade, and therefore an easier target in poor lighting conditions.
 
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?  Do you think a tattoo could make me more masculine?  I didn't think so.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?  With who?

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING:  A rich princess shorter than myself.
 
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?  Star Charts.  They glow in the dark.

IS THE GLASS HALF-EMPTY OR HALF-FULL?  I do not see a glass.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?  (suspicious) That sounds like a *Roman* inwention.
 
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS?  Oh, wonderful question.  Do you think I would be a lefty on top of being a short, undermuscled example of a conquered race?
 
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?  What is typing?  I plot courses by frowning and pressing two buttons simultaneuosly.

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? That smacks of peasantry.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?  I am a little paranoid, so I filled up that space with cinderblocks.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?  That is like a pet number.  If I had one, I would certainly not tell you.
 
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?  I never had one.  I was impressed into labor service as a transom-driver at 14.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? Anything someone else can drive for me.

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH:  Condemned Officers Night on LIVE ARENA.
 
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.  I think Chapel is feeling guilty about the Orion Suicide she gave me at the Saturnalia.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?  Probably Mr. Spock.  This is beyond illogical.

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