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March 2001

Friday March 30th

Today was an interesting one. I accidentally walked in on a publicity stunt performance of a band called Bardot, who won the Australian Popstars contest apparently. I thought my tongue was going to hit the floor when I say two of these gorgeous girls. One was a blonde, I think called Sophie (don't quote me on that). Brilliant tits, and very nice ass. The other was called Sally (again, don't quote me, I wasn't exactly paying attention to that), and she had reddish brown hair, and was wearing a little black top with a meshy thing over it. She could dance, she could sing, and it was 'want at first sight'. I knew that some people would hang around afterwards to get into the publicity photo, and I suppose I could have done, but I had no idea what I would say, and I knew it would be complete torture. It was nice to look though. It was as though everything in the room dissolved except these two of the five girls on stage. I recommend you keep an eye out, their singing wasn't too bad.

Today is Victoria's birthday, though I didn't go and wish her a happy one. I saw her watching the performance as well. As nothing else happened, a little more about her. She's about 5'6". She has shoulder length red hair. Not as red as mine... a bit blonder, but she's still lovely. Her talent is music. Apparently she plays an instrument. I think it's violin. I was first attracted to her I suppose when I attended a mutual friends birthday party and she was there. She was wearing a gorgeous little halter top. I was feeling bold and talking to her a bit, and a song came on that I wanted to dance to. I pulled her backwards and her halter nearly came off! I was
embarrassed, but she laughed it off. Then I ran into her at a club and she was chatting to me, and a song came on that she wanted to dance to, and she grabbed my hand and held it while we walked to the dance floor. I know she's straight, so it's a no gain thing. I made the mistake of telling someone that I liked her, and he told her this that fact. I doubt she's homophobic, but I suppose that it must be strange finding out that someone of the same sex fancies you.

Thursday, March 29th

I saw Philli today. She was looking stunning as usual. She looked at me, and I don't know if she caught me staring, but I looked away really fast. Maybe that's alerted her to the fact that I was looking, I don't know. I saw her later in the day as well, but she didn't see me. When I see her sometimes, I wonder what she smells like, what perfume she wears. I wish I had a reason to get close enough to find out.

Richard saw me as well. I must have looked grumpy towards him...I was lost in thought. He smiled at me, and that made me smile back. I felt somewhat lighter after that. I'm pretty sure he likes me, but I think he's one of those people who are terribly afraid of approaching someone on those sorts of terms. Also he knows that I'm in a committed relationship, which can stop a few guys.

I remember Ant, though. It didn't stop him. That was an odd experience. He was very much a come on strong kind of guy. He reminds me a bit of a caveman. I was sure at one point when he was flirting with me that he was going to bash me over the head. The 'Ant' thing didn't last long. I sat on his lap a few times, and somehow he'd always manage to start stroking my thighs...or other places. I'm quite glad that's over now, nice eyes, but what was I thinking? Maybe I'd just wanted to be someplace Victoria had been. Ah, Victoria. I saw her yesterday. She smiled at me. I always say that I'm not interested in her (she is the definition of straight), but one smile and I melt. She has the sweetest smile, the tenderest lips. Sometimes, I catch myself just watching her mouth. Seeing the shape alter as she speaks. I adore looking at her, I could spend an eternity doing it. She's almost perfect. Close in perfection to J, but not quite. J is perfect, and even though I was irritable today, J still cares, and makes me feel better. I'm sure that J would do anything to secure my happiness.