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Copyright © 2002 Frenulum. All rights reserved.
“Bridget, something has come up. Please come into my office immediately.”
“Yes, sir. What sort of problem is it?”
“It’s a very hard problem, Bridget; you’d best hurry.”
“I’ll be right there, sir.”
“I came as soon as I — oh, my, sir, that looks like an extremely hard problem. Let me examine it for a moment... Indeed, sir, I doubt if I’ve ever seen a stiffer challenge. What sort of staff work do you think is called for?”
“Well, Bridget, as my head secretary, I think you might be able to lick this problem before it becomes too serious.”
“It’s too bad Sarah is on break, sir — for a truly hard problem like this, it’s always better if we can put our heads together.”
“True, true. But this is no time for idle tongue-wagging — this is time for a serious skull session. I suggest you get right to work on it. And it’s going to take much more than mere lip-service.”
“Certainly, sir. Let me see... what angle of approach would be best for such a weighty matter... ah, perhaps this way.”
“Bridget, I appreciate how flexible you are in the performance of — ahhh! — your doooooo!ties. While I have many employees who will bend over backward for me, you are — mmmmm! — one of the few who ooooooh, ahhh... where was I?...”
“Oh, sir, I’m not sure I’m helping at all. If anything, the problem seems to be harder than it was when I came in.”
“Keep on task, now, Bridget. There, that’s good. You keep handling the staff issues, and I’ll provide some hands-on guidance. Don’t despair — ohhh, that’s good! — problems of this nature often seem to be at their hardest just before a, a, a, ahhh, favorable outcome oh oh oh my god...”
“Mfff ffmgh gllffp!... glrp!... Ah, there now, sir, the entire issue has been completely disposed of.”
“Stunning work, Bridget. Once again you’ve prevailed when a lesser woman would have given up. Now, remember, a good secretary always sees to any loose ends in a job, leaving everything neat and tidy.”
“Of course, sir... There, no more problem and everything is shipshape and Bristol fashion.”
“Bridget, such a fine job deserves a treat — and I see the morning’s almost gone. How about if I take you out to lunch?”
“Oh, sir, that’s a very kind offer. But as it happens, I’ve only just finished eating.”
“Well, another time, perhaps.”
“Will there be anything further, sir?”
“I don’t think — but wait a moment! Now that I consider matters more carefully, perhaps there is a little bit of business still to take care of. Yes, yes, I’m certain now that something will be coming up quite soon!”
“Bridget, clear my desk, and prepare to take dictation!”
“Oh, yes, sir!”
Author’s notes on Silly
Yes, I know it’s trite, obvious, and dumb.
I hope you got a smile out of it anyway.
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