HARLEY & MUTT
By Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 4


There were no smiles at breakfast.  Waddie almost broke down relating how he jumped at seeing his brother’s disfigured face after coming around from a flashback.  It surely must have crushed his little brother’s spirit, and he couldn’t handle it.  He felt like he let his little brother down.  Like everything else, Waddie took this burden on himself.  Beryl was having none of it.  Booger Red, Cowboy, Cal, Steve, Harley, Janice, and Ben agreed.

“Listen to me, Son.  That kid’s got a lot more on his mind than one small incident with you in the hayloft.  We ain’t blind.  We saw the way the boy idolizes you.  You’re next to God in his heart.  He talked to me about what happened to him after he got back.  He feels he has some unfinished business to take care of.  I know were he’s gone.  He went to New Mexico to say goodbye to his army buddy, his mate in Nam.  He wants to get some of the money he won gambling to his parents, and I ‘bout imagine he’s going back to your hometown to have your dad do it for him.  He spoke of his Uncle Buck in reverent tones.  I had no idea his Uncle Buck was Buck Claymore.  Tell you what, Waddie, ride back into Vegas with me, lemme' get the rest of my shit, and we’ll go find him.  If I know Mutt as well as I think, he has enough respect for Ben and me to leave us a note were he’s going.  If he went to see your dad, it’ll be a good excuse for me to go see my old buddy.”  Beryl set with his arm around Waddie while finishing his coffee.  Everyone urged him to go with Beryl and find his brother.   

Banger and Rondo decided they would go back into Vegas and move on to find their family.  Harley and Janice decided to go with them.  Harley would keep in touch with Harry to see if they found Mutt.  He was worried about him, but he had his own responsibilities.  He told Waddie to tell Mutt he was concerned and cared about his buddy, but would see him on down the road.  Waddie said his goodbyes to Ben, Cal, Steve, Cowboy, and Red.  He really hated to leave because he found such a fine group of men, and one in particular, who spoke and breathed roping.  Waddie and Cowboy formed a friendship that lasted through the years.  He followed Beryl back into Vegas with Rondo, Banger, Harley, and Janice.  Ben decided to stay another night at the ranch and said his goodbyes.  He got Beryl off to himself.  “Look, brother, tell Mutt for me, if he ever needs someone to run to, if he’s ever in trouble and needs help, not to hesitate to give me or Harry a call.  He’s always welcome,” Ben said quietly.

“Thanks, Ben, I’ll give him the message.  You probably have a note waiting for you at the Riviera.  If we find him I’ll call immediately,” Beryl replied.

“I’d appreciate it, Beryl.  Go in peace,” Ben said.

Waddie and Beryl returned to the hotel to get Beryl’s things.  Mutt was already there and left a note for Beryl and one for Ben.  His note to Beryl was simple.  “Sorry I left so abruptly, Master.  Tell my brother it wasn’t because of him.  It was so good to be with him and hold him in my arms again.  Seeing him opened doors I’ve kept closed for too long.  I have to do as you suggested and go say goodbye to my buddy.  I have to tell his parents how much I thought of their son and what he meant to me.  I have to get some of my money to my parents and little brothers.  I know just the man what will do it for me.  I appreciate your kindness to me and your love.  I promise, I’ll see you soon.  Your buddy, Mutt.” Beryl read the note to Waddie.  Waddie set on the edge of Beryl’s bed and wept silently.  The big man consoled him but told him to get his ass up, they needed to get on the road and find his brother.  Beryl knew the town Cass’s buddy was from but didn’t want to interrupt his journey to lay the memory of his buddy to rest.  It was something Mutt needed to do by himself.  Waddie knew Beryl was right.

“Well, I know where he’s going next,” Waddie sighed.

“Yeah, he’s headed straight for your dad.  Can’t says I blame him none.  Yore’ daddy’s got the biggest damn shoulder I ever done cried on.  Buck Claymore is the only man I ever met in my life what I ever looked up to.  Next to him, I felt like a little boy; still think on him that way today.  I don’t know how many times I ran to that big man’s arms scared out of my wits as a young kid in France.  He was a battle weary, campaign harden, seasoned vet and never thought nothing about it.  He saw it all; been there and back, but he never lost his humanity.  He knew what us new recruits was going through and offered his encouragement.  He’s the only man I ever trusted not to lie to me.  With Buck, there was a time for bullshit and a time for truth, and he never confused the two.  You always knew where he was coming from.  If you had the slightest doubt, all you had to do was ask, and he’d tell you.

"He never chastised me or made me feel less of a man or a coward for being scared.  He let me cry on his shoulder and get it out.  He soothed and comforted me, and told me everything would be fine.  He’d tell me he knew how good and brave I was, and a few tears and some self-doubts didn’t dilute the courageous man he knew lived inside me.  Your old man could make me feel like a fuck’n giant with a few well placed words and a strong arm holding me close as he bussed a kiss behind my ear.  Buck is the only man what ever stole a kiss from me, and at the time, I never thought nothing about it.  Somehow, it jes’ seemed right like he was ma’ old man, ma’ dad holding me, and trying to make it all better.  I seen him do it a hun’nert times or more with other new recruits and never heard a one of ‘em say nothing about it.  He was like a big daddy to all of us in his unit and every man worshiped him.  We would a’ gone to hell and back for Buck Claymore, and did.

"He done come up with the saying ‘no man left behind’ before the military ever thought about it, and by God, he meant it.  I seen him go back time after time for some guy the rest of us thought was done for, and we should just write him off and go on our way.  We wanted to move on, but not Buck.  Against all odds, he’d go back, pick the man up, throw him over his shoulder and carry him back from behind enemy lines.  I done figured if my hero said I could get through it, I was damn sure gonna’ give it my best shot, and I did.  I straightened myself up, pulled my act together and went right back to doing what the hell I was suppose to.  Buck Claymore was a natural born leader of men.  The military knew it, too.  That’s why he spent so many years on different campaigns.  They didn’t want to let him go.  He was the second highest decorated man in World War II.  We became close friends and buddys.  Old Buck and me, we got our asses into a number of funny situations I’ll tell you about someday when we got more time,” Beryl said.

In all the years Waddie and his dad were together, Buck never said a word about his war experiences.  He would give talks about the battles he fought in and the men who led them, but never any personal information.  It was like a trunk within him neatly packed away, never to be opened again.  Waddie was deeply moved to hear his old man probably saw as much or worse than he did in Nam.  Beryl gave his old man a new perspective for Waddie.  Beryl got to thinking, and on the road out of town, he suggested they stop back by the ranch for a minute.  Ben, Harry, Cal, Cowboy, and Red came out to greet them.
“I asked Waddie to stop with me for a minute to let you men know what we found.”  Beryl read the note to them and they agreed it sounded like what Mutt was going to do.  Beryl handed Ben’s note to him telling him neither he nor Waddie read it.  It was marked personal.

Ben read the note and smiled.  “He’s right, it is personal but essentially he told me the same thing as your note.  Look, why don’t you guys stay here another night.  Give him a chance to look up his buddy’s parents, visit his grave and then make it back to Chapel Creek to visit Waddie’s dad.  Call your dad tomorrow, Waddie, find out if Mutt’s there and then go be with him.  We don’t know for sure he’s going to see your dad.  He may be going directly home to his folks.”

“You know, I like your idea, sir.  What da’ ya’ think, Beryl?”  Waddie asked his older companion.

“Ben’s got a good point.  We run off half-cocked ‘cause we love the kid, at best we’re only trying to second guess him.  I put hundreds of miles on old Bessie trying to meet up with folks guessing where they might be.  I say, fine, let’s us stay here another night and then take off when we know something definite.”

Waddie didn’t feel much like roping, but the more Cowboy talked the more in the mood he got and spent the rest of the afternoon roping with him.  He did all right, but Cowboy could tell his buddy’s heart wasn’t in it.  They finally called a halt to roping.  They took the ponies to the barn, rubbed them down, and fed them.  Cal and Steve cooked another wonderful meal for the men and Waddie decided to sleep in the barn with Beryl.  Red and Cowboy decided to join them.  Everyone ended up in the loft for a while, drinking and telling rodeo stories.  Waddie told a story of a horrible prank Gip, Clyde, Oatie, and him played on their beloved Quinton, their roping teacher.  He told it so matter of fact he had every one holding themselves from laughter.

Waddie slept in the arms of his new big buddy, Master Beryl, but they didn’t play hide the little green snake.  Waddie took one look at Beryl’s little green snake and slammed all his doors shut, tight.  Of course, Waddie was a cowboy and could enlarge and embellish a story to make it painfully funny.  He learned from the best.  Cowboy hooted and hollered the next morning at Waddie’s telling.  He told Cowboy he was lucky to have made it back from Nam, he sure as hell wasn’t going to push his luck.  Even old stoic Red laughed at that one.

Waddie didn’t want to call home.  He just wanted to go, and asked Beryl to ride with him.  Beryl felt Waddie’s anxiousness and told him it would probably ease his mind as well to get on the road.  Once again they said their goodbyes and told Ben and Harry they would call as soon as they knew anything.

“C’moan, Son!  Let’s go find your brother,” Beryl said as his cranked his bike.  Waddie nodded and they were off.

   * * * * * * *

Mutt rode from Vegas to Hope, New Mexico.  He stopped once in a cheap motel in a small town in Arizona to stay the night and then was up early the next morning to get on the road again.  It was early morning and the dawn was just breaking.  It was fair weather and smooth riding.  He was making good time and his heart was at peace.  He soon crossed into New Mexico and the country seemed to change radically.  He found himself riding through great open spaces scattered with huge outcropping of large boulders and beautiful rock formations.  It was like another planet; strange but beautiful.  He found the small town of Hope, but he had no idea where his buddy’s family lived.  He stopped in the two man sheriff’s outstation to inquire where the Beergan’s lived and the way to their place.  The two men inside looked upon him with curiosity and some compassion for his disfigured face.  The more mature man in charge put Mutt’s fatigue shirt together with his maimed face and it equaled Vietnam in his mind.  He graciously drew the young man a small map and told him road signs to look for on his way.  After Mutt graciously thanked the men and left, the younger man spoke to his boss.  “Think I should follow him out there, Mr. Higgins?  Did you get a good look at his face?" he asked.

“Yeah, Son, of  course I did.  I don’t think that’ll be necessary.  Do you think the man would stop by the sheriff’s station if he planned to do mayhem to the Beergans?  More’n likely his face is that way from Nam and the Beergan’s boy they sent home a couple of years ago was his buddy.  However, I don’t think it would do no harm to call out to the Beergan’s and let them know they’re about to have a visitor,” the sheriff said, picked up the phone and dialed.

“Gretta, this is Sheriff Higgins.  Fine, ma’am, just fine.  Is Ole there?  May I speak with him for a minute, please?” the Sheriff said and waited.

“Hey, Ole!  How ya’ been?  Yeah, me, too.  Listen, we had a young man on a motorcycle stop by and ask directions to yore’ place.  His face looks plumb awful; like he had part of it blow’d away in Nam or something.  I didn’t think it would do no harm to give him directions to your place.  He wouldn’t a’ stopped by here if’n he was a bad sort.  I think he may be a friend of your boy, Ole.  Just thought I’d give you a heads up.  He’s looks really bad, but if you’re prepared it might make things a little easier on both of you.”  The Sheriff listened for a minute.  “No, I didn’t ask his name, but he had a fatigue shirt on that had the name ‘Crenshaw’ over the pocket.”  He waited again, “Then my guess was correct.  Okay, gimme’ a call if we can be of help in any way.  You’re certainly welcome, Ole.  My best to the wife and boys,” the sheriff said and hung up the phone.
 
Ole senior told his wife about the conversation with the sheriff.  They were a bit nervous but knew who the young man must be from his son’s letters home to them.  He wrote of his buddy and best friend Cassidy Crenshaw from Bandera, Texas many times.  It was early morning and the boys were having breakfast at the kitchen table.  Their father told them they were going to have a visitor who might be their brother’s buddy from Nam and the sheriff called to say he looks bad because he thinks he was severely wounded in the face.  They were not to ask any questions and treat him as an honored guest.  They heard a motorcycle coming up the road to the ranch.  Ole went out to the front porch to watch a physically fine looking young man pull into the yard.  Ole motioned to him where he could park his bike.  Mutt stopped his bike, slowly got off and Mr. Beergan walked to him.

“Cassidy?” Ole asked, and as he opened his arms, he could see the tears start to fall from the young man’s eyes as he lowered his head and nodded.  There was no doubt in his mind who the young man was.  He took Mutt into his arms, held him and cried with the boy.

“Forgive me for surprising you like this, Mr. Beergan.  I know its been a while since you lost Ole.  I been back almost two years, but I couldn’t come before now.  I been a mess, sir, as you can see,” Mutt said pointing to his face and hung his head.

“Hell, Son, it ain’t what chore’ face looks like, it’s what’s in your heart that matters, and you got to have a good heart to come to your friend’s family.  Come, c’moan in.  We’s just sit’n down to breakfast, ya’ hungry, Son?” Ole said inviting the young man to his table.

“Yes, sir, I believe I could eat something.  I got up real early and hit the road so’s I would be here before you start your day.  I know how ranch work is.  I’s born and raised on a ranch near Bandera, Texas.  Had fifteen brothers and we worked every day but Sunday,” Cass said.

“How’s your family now, Son?” Ole asked.

“I hate to tell you this, Mr. Beergan, but I ain’t been home since I been back.  I lost three of my brothers over there, and I just couldn’t go home like this.  They don’t even know I’m alive.  There was a big mix up in body counts and names, and I got listed as missing in action.  It ain't never been corrected I know of, and I just never went home when I got back,” Cass said hanging his head.

The old man shook his head.  The way Mutt’s face looked he thought he could understand.  They walked into the kitchen and Mr. Beergan introduced Mutt to his family.  Gretta Beergan never hesitated because of they young man’s disfigurement.  She took him into her arms, hugged, and kissed him on his good cheek.  She got tears in her eyes but quickly wiped them away with her apron.  Mr. Beergan introduced his two other boys to Mutt.  Dodson Beergan was fourteen years old, and the youngest, Evan Beergan was twelve.  They were large strapping boys for their age and there was no doubt in Mutt’s mind they were his buddy’s younger brothers.  They looked like smaller copies of his mate and their dad looked like an older copy.  Mutt was invited to sit down for a big ranch breakfast with the Beergans.  It was wonderful and he enjoyed getting to know the family.  After a while the boys didn’t think anything of his facial wounds and Mrs. Beergan was treating him like one of her own.

“Can you tell us what happened, Son?” Mr. Beergan asked quietly, “The government didn’t give us no details.  They told us it was better we didn’t know.  I don’t understand their way a’ thinking, but then I don’t understand a lot of what our government does these days.  Don’t know why their secrecy about ma’ boys death should come as such a big surprise, except it was more than a little personal.  He gave his life for his country.  In a way, we trusted his life to them to care for and protect him.  He weren’t just a machine we loaned them.  He was a living, breathing human being.  To them he probably weren’t much more than a statistic; gun fodder for them commie bastards, but to us he was one of our greatest treasures.  Poor folks who live close to the soil invest greatly in their loved ones.  They become the purpose of our lives; our joy, our love, and our hope for the future.  All that love and investment gone in an instant.  Just don’t seem right somehow.  The least they could a’ done was to tell us how it happened and why.  They locked his casket and wouldn’t allow us to see him.  We buried him here in our family plot.  We don’t  know for sure the body is our boy’s.  They give us his dog tags and claimed it was proof enough,” Mr. Beergan lamented.

“I’ll tell you what I know Mr. Beergan, but please, sir, and Mrs. Beergan, let me tell only you, sir, and you decide to how much you want to tell your family,” Cassidy said.

“Fair enough, Son.  Did you want to see where we buried him?” Ole asked.

“Yes, sir, I think I finally got the strength and courage to tell my friend, goodbye.  I’m so sorry I couldn’t come before now, but— ”   Mutt had a tear run down his face and wiped it away with his napkin.  The family knew the pain he must be suffering by just being there with them.  They were grateful and realized it took a great deal of courage for the young man to come to them.

After breakfast Mr. Beergan offered to take Mutt to his boy’s grave.  Mutt got in Mr. Beergan’s old pickup truck on the passenger side and drove with him about a mile to the top of a hill on the Beergan’s ranch.  There, underneath a huge spreading oak tree, was the Beergan family burial plot.  Years ago it was surrounded by a wrought iron fence, but it wasn’t kept up over the years and time took its toll.  Parts the fence were lying on the ground rusting.  Weeds were everywhere, yet it was a beautiful, peaceful place, and it was the highest point on the ranch.  From the top of the hill you could see almost forever to the horizon in every direction.  Mutt didn’t have a problem picking out Ole’s grave.  It was the freshest and still hadn’t fully settled from the mounding of the burial.  He knelt by Ole’s grave and noticed there was no headstone.  Mutt cried and Mr. Beergan put his arm around the young man and wept with him.
 
“It was horrible, Mr. Beergan.  Trust me, you wouldn’t a’ wanted to open his casket.  Ole was walking point in front of me about ten or fifteen feet.  I saw the mine before he stepped on it.  I hollered to him not to take another step, but his foot went down before I could get the words out.  It blew him to bits, Mr. Beergan.  He died instantly.  I was hit in the face by a piece of shrapnel and fell backward.  Something hit me hard in the gut as I fell.  It was large and round.  I don’t know what happened to my piece, ‘cause I automatically caught it in my hands like a ball what was handed off to me behind the line of scrimmage— from years of football practice, I guess— and I held it as I fell.  I still had vision in my good eye.  I pulled it up to my face to see what it was.  It was Ole’s head, Mr. Beergan.  The only part of him what was left.”  Mutt paused and let out a few gut wrenching sobs.  He continued through his tears and pain as if it was ripping his heart out to relive the horror, “His eyes were open.  He was still aware.  He recognized me, mouthed the words he loved me, then closed his eyes and was gone.” Mutt really began to let it all out like he was wringing his soul out from finally sharing his pain with another who loved his buddy as much or more than him.

Mr. Beergan held him close and cried with him.  He comforted Mutt and let him get it out.  After Mutt had no more in him to cry and became quite for a few minutes, the older man spoke.  “You poor soul.  I can’t imagine what you must have gone through.  God love you, Son, no man should have to go through some’um like 'at.  Can you go on?” he asked quietly.

“I think so, sir.  Ain’t much more to tell.  I passed out.  I didn’t wake up for several days.  They didn’t know whether I was going to make it or not.  Ole come to me while I’s in a coma, before he passed over.  I could see, touch, and smell him as if he was right here with us.  He told me I had to live, God had some other purpose for me, but he was dead.  He wanted me to come to you and your family to let you know how much he loved you.  Because of the gruesome part is why I wanted to leave up to you what to tell your family.  Also, I didn’t know if they’d believed me or might think I’s just making up the second part jes’ to ease their pain.  My daddy done brought me up to be a cowboy, Mr. Beergan, and I don’t tell no lies,” Cass said and broke into tears again.

“I’m sure you ain’t lying, Son.  It’s the farthest thought from my mind.  I heard of other situations where folks came to people before they cross over.  I believe you, Son.  I don’t think you got any reason to lie to me or my family.  We just think it’s a wonderful gesture on your part you thought enough of our boy to come to us.  We can see how much you suffered, and if there’s anything we can do for you we’ll be glad to help.  Stay with us a spell if you like.  We’d love to have you live with us a while and get to know you.”

“I’d enjoy that Mr. Beergan, but I can’t sit still or stay in any one place for more’n a day or two at a time.  The only place I find any peace is out there on the road on my bike.  I know it’s running from the pain and horror I been through, but there just don’t seem to be much I can do about it.  When I’m on my bike I don’t think about nothing but the road, the sky and what I’m seeing along the way.  It’s become the only way I can keep my sanity.  I don’t stop long enough to let my mind start to wander back in time.  I do enough of that in my dreams and wake up screaming.  If it weren’t for running into one of my brothers out there on the road, who recently came back from Nam, I would a' never found the courage to come see you good folks.  Please forgive me if I can’t stay more’n a while with you,” Cassidy said.

“No pressure, Son,  I understand,” Ole replied.

Mr. Beergan drove Mutt back to the ranch house.  He changed into some old clothes and helped Mr. Beergan and his boys around the ranch all day and got to know them pretty well.  He ate dinner with them and slept in their barn.  They wanted to give him a room, but he insisted on sleeping in the barn.  He confided in Mr. Beergan he had a tendency to wake up yelling, and he didn’t want to disturb anyone.  He was up early the next morning.  He ate breakfast with the family, said his goodbyes, got on his bike and left.  The Beergan boys and Mr. and Mrs. Beergan fell in love with him.  They begged him to stay but knew he had to be on his way.  The two boys cried in his arms when he left and told him they loved him.  Mr. Beergan left him with one final thought.  “You’re welcome here, anytime, Son.  If’n ya’ need a place to run to, where nobody will find ya,’ you need to get away, there’ll always be a chair at the table and a bed for ya’ to rest your head.  Don’t need ta’ call, Son, just come on home,” Ole said from the bottom of his heart.    

* * * * * * *

Beryl asked Waddie after they got to Phoenix if he felt like he could ride on to Tucson.  It was early yet and he had a buddy who owned a ranch South of Tucson where they could stay.  Waddie agreed, it was only about four more hours to Tucson.  He was up to it.  Beryl called ahead and asked his friend Dan Yates if they might stay with him a couple of nights.  "Dan, I got a young man with me what just come back from Nam several months ago.  He and Cowboy been roping together outside of Vegas and he's pert-damn good," Beryl said.

"Sure, bring him with you.  I'd like to meet him," Dan Yates replied.

Beryl and Waddie arrived at the 'Broken Arrow' ranch around six in the evening and Mrs. Russell had dinner waiting for them.  She loved to cook for Beryl and was thrilled when she heard he was coming.  She quickly fell in love with the cowboy Beryl brought with him.  She cooked fried chicken with all the fixings.  Waddie was impressed.  He was impressed with Dan Yates as well.  He thought he was one hell of a fine looking cowboy.  The next morning he and Dan Yates did some roping together and Dan was enthused.  He asked Waddie to rope with him at the coming Fourth of July rodeo in Prescott.  Waddie told him he'd try depending on how his brother was and if they found him.  Later in the evening at Beryl's insistence, Waddie called his dad.  "Hey, Dad.  It's your prodigal son calling," Waddie said.

"You could never be no prodigal, Son.  I love you too damn much to ever think of you as a prodigal," Buck replied.

"I'm worried about my brother, Cass,  Dad.  Did he show up there?"

"Yeah, he did.  I felt so damn embarrassed, I didn't recognize him but your little brother did from a hun’nert yards away.  Said he sits his bike same's he does his pony," Buck bellowed with laughter.

"He's right, I never thought about it, but he does.  That kid's sharp.  Takes after his dad," the men shared a laugh,  "Don't feel bad, Dad, I didn't recognize him neither until I saw him toss a rope.  Then I knew immediately who he was.  I damn near fell off ma' horse.  It was so good to be with him again, but he left so suddenly we're worried about him.  Is it all right if me'n an old buddy of yours comes home to be with him?" Waddie asked.

"You know you don't never have to ask, Son, but who's my buddy you're bringing?" Buck asked.

"Oh, a big man.  Says he was with you in France and got into a lot of trouble with you," Waddie said.

"Oh, my God, not Beryl McInnis?  I didn't even know he was still alive.  I'm so glad to hear it.  Bring him home with you, Son.  I'd love to see him."

Beryl and Waddie said their goodbye's the next morning to Mrs. Russell and Dan Yates and headed for Chapel Creek.  Waddie promised he'd try to get back for the Forth of July rodeo to rope with Dan.

* * * * * * *

After he said a tearful goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Beergan and their two younger sons, Mutt headed in the direction of Chapel Creek.  He rode into town around a little before noon.  He decided he couldn’t go by his Uncle Buck’s office so he decided to stop at the local diner to get something to eat.  He remembered the one small diner always had specials that were inexpensive and good.  He was having lunch when five lawmen he knew well walked in and set down to eat.  They didn’t recognize him.  The sheriff, Buck Claymore, saw him and instinctively knew from his experience in WWII the boy was a casualty of war.  He didn’t stare but glanced at the young man a couple of times until Buck’s big heart almost broke in two for the boy.  He told his deputies he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to go have a word with the kid.  Buck excused himself from his men and walked slowly to Mutt’s table and asked if he might join him for a minute.  Mutt nodded toward the chair.  Buck set down.  “You just come back from Nam, Son?” he asked quietly.

“Naw, sir, I been back a while, Sheriff.  “Bout a year and a half, sir,” Cassidy lower his head and put his hand over his face to hide it from Buck.  Buck reached up, gently grabbed his hand and slowly lowered it to look into the young man’s eyes.

“No need for that around me, Son.  I been there and back; seen men much worse than you survive and live.  I ain’t a’ gonna’ judge you none by yore’ looks.  I ain’t that kind a’ man.  You got a place to stay?” Buck asked.

“Naw, sir.  I’s just passing through on my bike," Cass replied.

“Saw your Harley out there.  It’s a nice one.  You running from the rain, Son?” Buck smiled knowingly.

“Ever’ day, sir, but I jes’ can’t seem to stay ahead of it.  It always seems to catch up with me like a dog chasing its tail.  Ever' time I look over my shoulder I can see them big jaws a come'n after men and I run fast, but I c'ain't never seem to out run it.  C'ain’t stay in any one place more’n a day or two.  I get a deep pain in ma’ gut what tells me if I wanna’ live and survive another day, I gotta’ get on ma’ bike and ride ‘til I feel safe again.  It don't matter none where to,” Cass said quietly.

“You need someone to love you, boy, what won’t put no pressure on you.  Come home with me, meet my family, stay with us until you need to move on.  Then come back when you can,” Buck offered.

“You’d do that for a stranger, Sheriff?  A man you don’t even know?  I could be a serial killer,” Cass replied.

“Not with them eyes of yorn, boy.  It’s like I looked into them eyes a hun'nert times before.  I used to know a handsome young buckaroo what was about your height and build.  Loved him like he was one of ma’ own boys.  He done had eyes jes’ like yours, but he didn’t come back.  A voice in my head told me to offer you my love and comfort.  How do you know I ain’t some sadistic bastard of a lawman, boy?” Buck asked with a grin.

“‘Cause you held me in yore’ arms too many times, stole more kisses from me than there’s stars in the night sky, swore to me you would always love me, and I could come to you anytime no matter what, Uncle Buck,” Cassidy said quietly.

Buck looked stunned.  “Cass?  Cassidy Crenshaw?” Buck lost it.  Big tears started running down his face, “Oh, my God in heaven, it is you, Son,” Buck said. He pushed back his chair, stood, reached for Cass and in one powerful movement physically lifted the young man from his chair and pulled him into his big arms.  Cass broke down as Buck held and kissed the young man.  He saw the tears run down the maimed, scarred face of the boy in his arms and tried to kiss them away.  Buck felt about one foot tall because he didn’t recognize Cass as the son of his treasured friends and one of his nephews he’d roped with and held in his arms countless times.  “Oh, my dear God in heaven, Cassidy, my dear sweet Cass.  We thought chu’ was dead, Son.  Hear’d tell you was missing in action.  We  assumed the worst,” Buck said and hollered over his shoulder,  “Bubba, C.D., Don, Quinton, get chore' butts over here.  This boy’s one of our own.” The men jumped when Buck spoke and came to see.  Bubba looked closer and recognized Cassidy.  He took him away from Buck, embraced the boy and started crying with joy he was still alive.  Then Lyle, Don, and Quinton recognized him.  They each held him and cried with him.

“You’re coming home with me, Son,” Buck said, “We got lots of room and your brother, Little Gip, would love to see you.  Have you been to see your family?  You ain't been home have you?  I’d a’ heard some’um about it first thing, for sure,” Buck answered his own question.

“Naw, sir, Uncle Buck.  I can’t go home look’n like this.  I can’t let ‘em see me,” Cass replied.

“Do they even know you’re back?” Bubba asked him.

“Naw, sir, they still think I’s missing in action.  My buddy, Ole Beergan, was killed; stepped on a landmine, had his head blow'd off in front of me, and I caught it in my arms.  I just got around to going by his home to tell his parents what a good man he was and how much I loved him.  They took me to his grave to say goodbye.  My brother J.R, was killed.  He come to me and told me our brother Waddie tried his damnedest to save him but he died in the chopper on the way back to the hospital.  He said Waddie was awful broken up about his death and think’n I’s dead, too.”

“Yeah, when your brother Gip was killed Waddie reenlisted for another hitch.  He weren’t fool’n none of us.  He couldn’t come home and face the man he loves more than life itself, his other dad, Dan Justin.  He tried to commit suicide by staying in Nam, but Gip and his angel wouldn’t let him.  He didn’t wanna’ live no more without his brother Gip.  We wrote him letter after letter, but it didn’t do no good.  He got shot up pretty bad, but still wouldn’t come home.  After he lost a kidney and damn near lost his left arm, the Navy wouldn’t take 'no' for an answer.  They done packed his ass up and sent him home.  Thank the Lord, they did.  It’s like you said though, Cass, he was a mess when he got home.  No one could get through to him, and he was miserable around here.  He did exactly the same as you.  Bought himself a Harley and hit the road.  He’s somewhere on a ranch outside of Vegas, last we heard.  We’s prayin’ for him, but I don’t know, Son, I just don’t know.  The war in Vietnam is a whole 'nother ball game from the one I fought in,” Buck allowed.

“Yeah, I ran into him and roped with him at the ranch near Las Vegas," Cass replied, "It was so good to see my brother again, Uncle Buck.  He gimme’ the courage to go’n say 'goodbye' to my buddy.  I never thought I could do it, but I did and now I’m here.  I was gonna’ finish eating and be on my way.  I's just too damn big a coward to come to you.  God knows, I wanted to, Uncle Buck,” Cass started crying again and Buck held him to comfort him.  The other men listened but they didn't say much.  They were devastated.  Don Rayborn was in tears knowing what his boy and these men must have gone though over there.

“Nevertheless, Son, please--- ya' gotta' come home with me.  Stay as long as you like.  I know your Uncle Dan and Momma Sue would be thrilled to know you’re okay and that damn Oatie would cut C.D. and my balls off if’n we let you get away without saying ‘hello’ to him.  I can’t let you go, Son.  Your dad and mom would horse whip me if I didn’t take you in.  Look what you’n your family done for my boy all them years ago.  You took him in and made him a part of your family.  You can stay with any of a dozen families in this town, you know that.  They’d all love to have you.  Dan Justin and Momma Sue would piss their pants to have you stay with them.  What’da ya’ say, Son?” Buck asked.

“I don’t know, Uncle Buck.  Other’n my brother Waddie, you’re the first of my family I seen since I been back, but I don’t feel real comfortable,” Cass said.

“I didn’t either, Son, when I come home from the war; it was like I didn’t know who my people were, but I weren’t shot up near as bad as you.  We love you, Cassidy, you're family, you's one of us.  Come home with me, boy.  Your Aunt Linda Sue will treat you like a king.  You’re still our kin, Son, don't matter none what the damn war did to yore’ face.  No one gonna’ scream or go running away from you.”

“Okay, Uncle Buck, maybe for a night, then I got to get on my way,” Cass agreed.

“Where to, Son?” Buck asked.

“I don’t know, Uncle Buck, wherever the road takes me.  I don’t plan nothing more’n two hours in advance.  I can’t seem to sit still for much longer’n ‘nat or them damn memories will catch up with me and bite me in the butt,” Cass grinned at the big man through his tears.

“Give us a chance, Son.  ‘At’s all we ask,” Buck pleaded softly.

“Okay, Uncle Buck,” Cass replied.

Mutt followed his Uncle Buck out to his ranch.  Buck, his wife and grandson, Little Gip, (Waddie’s boy) moved to the ranch while Waddie and Gip were seniors in high school and did a lot of work to fix up the place.  Buck didn’t have time to call and warn Linda Sue and Little Gip, but when Mutt pulled up on his bike a handsome young cowboy came running from the barn as fast as he could yelling at the top of his voice, “Brother Cassidy!  Cass!  Bubba Cassidy!  Oh, my God, it’s ma' brother!” Little Gip was in Mutt’s arms in a minute hugging and kissing him.  Mutt lost it.  He cried his heart out in Little Gip’s arms.  Buck couldn’t have been more proud of his grandson.  Everyone said the kid had a way with folks.  He could charm the pants off a billy goat.  He knew from a hundred yards across the way it was his brother Cassidy and the question of Cass’s face never entered his mind.  It was his brother, and he was thrilled to see him.  “Toss a rope with me, bubba?” Gip asked with enthusiasm.

“Don’t know if’n I can stay that long, little brother,” Cass said quietly.

“What da’ ya’ mean ya’ can’t stay that long?  You’s always welcome here, Brother, for as long as you wanna’ stay.  This place is as much your home as it is mine.  You know that,” Gip assured him and gave him another hug.

About that time Linda Sue walked out the back door to see what all the fuss was about.  She’d heard Little Gip yell out Cassidy’s name and she saw the half of his face that was left was, indeed, her nephew.  She went to him with both arms outstretched with tears in her eyes.  “Thank God, you’re home, Cass.  Welcome, darlin.’  Come, have dinner with us.  Stay as long as you like.  This one,” she said motioning toward Little Gip, “pesters his dad, and Quinton to death to rope with him.  He wears his partner Donny Lyle out, and he just throws up his hands and goes home.  Come.  C’moan in sweetheart and lemme' get you something to drink.” Linda Sue took his arm and lead him into the house.  Little Gip stayed behind with his granddad.

“How’d ju' know he was your brother Cass, cowboy?” Buck asked his grandson.  He slipped his arm around his boy’s shoulders as they walked toward the house.

“Easy, Dad, he sits his motorcycle same’s he sits his pony.  I could tell he was hurt, but that didn’t make me no never mind.  My brother Cass is one of the best ropers anywhere.  Him and his brother J.R. were a hell of a team,” Gip replied.

“Damn, Son!  Your old man’s gettin’ old.  I saw him in the diner, but I didn’t recognize him.  I set and talked with him and still didn’t recognize him until he told me who he was.  I damn near shit my pants; not because of the way he looks, but from being embarrassed I didn’t recognize him.  You made a man what’s feel’n mighty low these days feel like he belongs when you recognized him and ran to him like that.  Have I told you today I love you, you little shit?” Buck squeezed him tight.

“You call home three times a day just to tell me you love me.  You told me when you woke me this morning.  You told me at breakfast.  You told me 'afore you went to work.  Stop me if I’m wrong, but I think you’re about to tell me again.  Go on ahead, lemme’ hear it.  Don’t never get tired of my old man tellin’ me he loves me,” Little Gip said and grinned.

“All right, Mr. Smarty-boots, your old man loves you.  Now, live with it!” Buck barked, hugged him up tight on their way into the house, and stole a kiss.  Little Gip giggled and threw his arm around his granddad’s waist to walk with him.

“Aww, hell, Dad!  You know I love you.  Don’t never have to wonder about it, neither,” Gip replied.

Cass was talking to his Aunt Linda and enjoying a glass of iced tea when the men came into the house.  “Son, I wanna’ call Dan Justin and Momma Sue to come for supper.  I’d like to have your Uncle Bubba and Aunt Carol out too if you don’t mind.  I know your Aunt Carol and Jannie would be hurt if they didn’t get to see you.  I know you’re worried ‘bout your looks but these folks are your family, Son.  They love you.  They love you and what’s in your heart, Son, not your outward appearance,” Buck said.

“I guess you’re right, Uncle Buck.  My little brother here recognized me right away.  How’d ju' do that, Gip?” Cassidy asked.

“Easy, Brother.  You sit your bike same’s you do your horse,” Gip replied.  Cass covered his mouth, threw back his head, had a good laugh, pulled his little brother to him and held him.  

“Thank’s, little Brother,” Cass said.

“Fer’ what, Bubba?" Little Gip asked.

“Make’n me laugh.  I had a few good laughs with your brother Waddie a couple of days ago,” Cass said.

“You seen Waddie?  How is he?  Is he still rope’n with Billy Gunn?  Damn, them two ought a’ be a pair to draw to,” Gip allowed.

Cass was home among folks who loved him.  He felt safe and secure.  The family gathered that evening at the Claymores.  Dan Justin didn’t want to let Cass go.  He was so glad to see him and Momma Sue was the same way.  She didn’t want him gettin’ five feet away from her.  Bubba and Carol weren’t much better.  Jannie was a love and treated him like he was her long lost brother.  C.D., his wife Mavis, their daughter Mavis Lyle and Oatie came.  Oatie and Mavis Lyle grew up with Cass and thought of him as another one of their brothers.  Oatie was just what Cass needed.  They set down to dinner and Cass felt more relaxed than he had since he came back.  Dad Dan said a prayer over dinner that had them all in tears about the joy and gladness that one of their own had come home and loved them enough to share his sorrow with them.  He thanked God for his greatness and thanked him for bringing this fine young man home.

As dinner progressed Buck asked Cass a couple of questions.  “Son, I don’t wanna’ push.  I know you’re in a delicate mental state right now.  I promise I ain’t gonna’ do nothing to cause you to get upset, but I’s wonderin’ if you might let us contact your folks to let them know you’re home and safe.  I’d be happy to call for you, Cass, if you didn’t think you could talk to them right now.  Stay with us a while, Cass.  Lean on us until you feel stronger.  Until you feel you can go home or have them come to see you.  You’re welcome here, Cass.  You can stay anywhere’s you like.  Dad Dan and Momma Sue would love to have you and so would your Aunt Linda and me; to say nothing of that ornery little cowpoke sit’n next to you.  He’ll drive you crazy want’n you to rope with him.  Look, Son, we can’t begin to know how you feel, but everyone here at this table feels your pain.  We’re your family, Son, and we just want what’s right for you; maybe to help you if you’ll let us.  If it upsets you too much I won’t push.  We’ll just forget it for now, but Cass, after you go or even if you stay for a while, I have to let your dad know.  Your mom and him means too damn much to us not to tell them and keep them worrying about you still missing in action.  They don’t know whether you’re alive or dead,” Buck said.

“I don’t know, Uncle Buck,” Cass replied.

“We all went back to Bandera to bury your brother, Son,” Dad Dan said.  “It damn near ripped our guts out to say 'goodbye' to another son we loved so much.  It was twice as hard on us and your parents, ‘cause we didn’t know about you and assumed the worst.  The damn draft sent a notice for your brother Toller, but your old man tore it up.  Said he weren’t sending another one of his boys over there to get slaughtered.  They got four of his boys and killed ‘em.  That was all the hell they was gonna’ get.  He asked if we would hide Toller from the draft.  Dan knew without asking we would.  Toller’s due out here the end of the month to stay with Momma Sue and me.  We’ll adopt him, change his name, if’n we have to.  We won’t let him go neither.  We lost too damn much to let another son we love as much as you and your brothers go over there,” Dan declared almost in tears.  He didn’t even mention losing Gip and his other son Waddie was out there on the road somewhere.

“Okay, all right, I know it must be tough on dad and mom; God knows I love them.  I come to visit you Uncle Buck and Dad Dan to get some money to my folks I won in Reno and Vegas.  I guess I’m being selfish ‘cause of the way I look.  I just can’t face my folks yet.  Hell, I don’t have no face to face’em with.” Cass chuckled but no one else did, “I’m sorry, bad joke, I guess.  I need some time to get used to the idea I’m gonna’ look like this the rest of my life,” Cass said.

“Hell, I don’t care what you look like, Brother, s’long as you hold me close at night and keep me warm,” Little Gip said and winked.  Cass laughed again.  It felt good to laugh with Little Gip.  He had a natural talent for making everyone feel great about themselves.

“Your problem, Scamp, would be getting me to let go of you,” Cass replied and laughed again with Gip.

“You can still rope, can’t chu’?” Little Gip asked.

“Well, I was pretty good two days ago.  Me’n your brother whupped the pants off’n Billy Gunn.  I wouldn’t mind rope’n with ya’ tomorrow if’n you got a spare rope ‘round the place,” Cass said.   A big smile spread across Little Gip’s face and Buck winked at Cass.

“Oh, Lord, Son!  You just done unleashed a monster.  He won’t never let chu’ go fer damn sure.  He’ll rope and hog tie yore' ass ever’ night just to make sure you don’t get away,” Buck declared.  Everyone laughed.

“All right, Uncle Buck. If you wanna’ call my dad after I leave I don’t mind.  Tell him why I can’t come home right now.  Let him and my mom know I’m safe.  Tell my little brothers I love ‘em.  I gotta’ go out and find myself.  Tell him, Uncle Buck, I’ll be in touch through you, Uncle Dan, or Bubba.  I love my old man so much I just can’t have him see me like this right now; maybe later.”

“Son, your dad don’t care beans about the way you look.  You’re his boy; his flesh and blood.  Don’t matter the path you travel down in this life or what happens to you, you’re always gonna’ be his little boy.  That big boy of mine thinks he’s a grown man.  He is, but as big as he grow'd he’ll always be my little boy.  Same with this one,” Buck motioned to Little Gip, “I know the love your old man has for you.  He loves you--- all of you.  Won’t make your old man no never mind.  God, that man loves you, Cass.  Randy loves all his boys equally, but I’ll abide by your wishes.  Just tell me you’ll think more on it, and talk to us if you need to.  Not a body at this table wouldn’t sit down and listen to you anytime you need to talk.  For all the shit I give my boy,here, talk to your brother.  He won’t never turn away from you,” Buck promised.

“I will, Uncle Buck, Uncle Dan, all you folks.  I love you.  You made me feel wonderful and welcome.  I guess Waddie and Gip’s angel led me here to you good people, ‘cause he knew I wouldn’t go home.  Thanks for taking me in,” Cass said and started crying again.  Buck took the young man in his arms and cried with him.  All three men held him in their arms and told him the same thing, they loved him.  Buck talked it over with Dan and Bubba and decided he had to let Randy know.  He quietly dispatched Quinton and another deputy to fetch Randy.  He was going to try to keep Cass there for a couple of days if he could.  They could have Randy there in about ten hours.  With two men driving and relieving one another they could make good time in a sheriff’s car.  There were no speed limits for brothers in law.

* * * * * * *

Randy Crenshaw was surprised but happy to see Quinton and Gilles Barnet.  He knew both men well.  Quinton joked with Randy, “The sheriff of Chapel Creek, yore' brother, done sent us to arrest yore’ handsome ass, brother Randy,” Quinton said in his best cowboy lingo and laughed,“told me to tell you to let chore' family run things for a couple of days--- he needs you, muy pronto, no questions asked.  He would never ask this of you if it weren’t equally important to you," Quinton paused and shook his head, "Aww, hell, Randy, he didn’t want me to tell you, but I can’t keep it from you.  Cassidy’s alive, and showed up back at his place.  He’s been back from Nam for about a year and a half.  He’s afraid to come home to his family, ‘cause he got half his face blow’d off and the other half is scarred almost beyond recognition.  He looks pert-damn bad, Brother, but he’s alive and well.  Come with us.  Buck wants to get you two together,” Quinton insisted.

Randy Crenshaw threw his arms around Quinton’s neck and started crying his heart out he was so filled with joy to hear his boy was alive.  He knew Buck wouldn’t sent two of his deputies this far to pull a cruel joke.  He didn’t hesitate.  He went into the house and quietly told Sarah the news.  Sarah came out and threw her arms around Quinton and then Gilles and thanked them for coming for Randy and bringing them the wonderful news.  Randy and Sarah cried for joy in each other’s arms, said their 'goodbyes' and Randy was in the patrol car on his way with Quinton and Gilles.  Sarah called Earl D. to tell him the news and asked him to call Billy Bob.  Earl D. told his mother they would both be home with her in a couple of hours.

Quinton, Gilles, and Randy Crenshaw arrived late morning the next day.  They drove all night stopping only for gas, a snack, and to take a leak.  Cass and Little Gip were at Dan’s rope’n that morning when the sheriff’s car pulled up on the far side of the barn.  Randy got out and Buck was there to welcome him.  The two men cried in each other’s arms.  Buck took Randy to watch Cassidy and Little Gip rope.  They stood in the shadows of the barn where the boy’s couldn’t see them.  The boys were enjoying themselves and when he was roping Cass forgot about how he looked.  It was obvious he was having a good time with his younger brother.  They were laughing and joking with each other; praising each other on a catch and talking about how they might better the next one.  Randy stood in the shadows just inside the barn and could see his beautiful son sitting a good horse.  He could see the damage to his son’s face and a tear ran down his cheek.  He wasn’t going to let it get to him.  He knew he must be strong, and he would be for his son.  He prayed to his Father and Mr. Uriel to give him strength.

Randy and Buck stood and watched for about an hour until the boys began to get thirsty and tired.  Momma Sue came out of the house with a big cooler of ice tea and Linda Sue had several mason jars in her hand.  The boys dropped the reins to their ponies and left them in the arena.  As he came out of the corral his dad stepped out from the shadows and Cass saw him.  He slowly turned away from his dad, put his hands over his face, fell to his knees and started sobbing.  His dad came up behind him, knelt beside him, and put his arms around him.  “Cassidy, my beloved son, my beautiful boy, you’re beautiful to your old man, Son.  I don’t give a fuck what they done to yore’ face.  I only thank God and Mr. Uriel you're back home and alive.  I swear to you before God and our angel, I won’t never let another one of your brothers be killed or maimed over there,” Randy declared.  Cassidy slowly turned into his dad’s strong arms and cried his heart out.  Randy Crenshaw’s big cowboy heart was breaking for his boy, and he couldn’t hold it any longer.  He cried with his son until they felt the other men surround them with their arms.  Little Gip was crying because he loved his Uncle Randy and his brother Cass so much and knew it was a powerful moment for them.
 
“Don’t be angry with Buck, Dan, and Bubba.  They done the right thing,” Randy said to his boy.

“I know, Dad.  I love them for what they done for me, but I just weren't ready to come home yet.  Still can’t.  I hope you understand.  I got to find myself, Dad.  I’m not even sure I know what that means.  I just heard it some'eres.  All I know is I don’t know who I am, where I belong anymore, or where I’m going.  I got so much anger in me, I would make any normal person’s life miserable.  I damn near scared Little Gip to death last night waking up screaming at the top of my lungs,” Cassidy said.

“God, Son, we don’t care.  Yore’ mom don’t care about none of those things.  To your brothers you’re a hero.  We didn’t share with them you’re back and still alive.  I only had time to tell your mother, and I had to leave.  I thank God everyday for Buck Claymore.  You couldn’t a’ run to a better man.  These folks are your family same’s yore’ mom, me, and the Franzs.  They love you, Son.  Seemed to me like you was enjoying yourself with your brother, Little Gip,” Randy said and smiled.

“Little Gip’s a love, Dad.  He insisted I stay with him in the barn last night.  He didn’t let me go all night.  He calmed and soothed me when I went crazy yell’n and a’ scream’n.  He’s growing up to be a fine young man.  He’n his partner Donny Lyle are gonna’ be dangerous at roping real soon.  Little Gip recognized me from fifty yards away on my bike and came running to me just a’ yelling and a’ hollering my name.  He never once looked at my face, hugged, and kissed me real big, then asked me if I would do some roping with him,” Cassidy said.  Randy and his boy had a good laugh.

“Good to hear you laugh, Cass,” Randy said softly.

“I love you so much, Dad, I just didn’t want you seeing me this a’ way.  I know I can’t go home to my brothers and mom.  I could never stand to see her face when she looks upon me.  I just ain’t up to it yet.  Come, visit with me a spell then go home and tell them I love them, but I gotta’ go out and find myself.  I don’t know where that is, but I have to try,” Cass said.

“Cass, we done without you too long already.  Son, we lost your brother J.R., your brother Gip, and your brother Clyde.  We don’t wanna’ lose no more of our boys and damn it, Son, no matter how you look, you’re our boy, and we love you,” Randy reassured his boy.

Buck came over and apologized to Cass for going behind his back, and told him to blame it on the sheriff, not his Uncle Buck.  The sheriff made him do it.  Cass took Buck into his arms and told him there was nothing to forgive.  He was grateful his dad was there, he couldn’t think bad of him.  The rest of the men joined Cass and his dad as they slowly walked to the house.  Little Gip was bending Randy's ear telling him how great Cass roped and what he taught him.  Dad Dan pulled Little Gip and Donny Lyle away to let Cass talk with his dad.  As they were talking and walking back to the house, two big men rode up the drive to the ranch on Harley’s.

Little Gip yelled at the top of his voice.  “It’s Waddie! Oh, my God! It’s my big brother!  He’s home!  Dad, look it’s Waddie and some other man I don’t know,” Little Gip exclaimed, grabbed Buck’s hand, and pulled him toward the men.

“S’all right, Son, I know him.  He’s a good man.  You’ll love him.  Name’s McInnis, Beryl McInnis,” Buck said.

Waddie and Beryl rode up the drive.  Waddie saw his brother Cassidy and his dad Randy arm in arm and got a big smile on his face.  He no sooner got his bike parked and motor turned off when Little Gip and Donny Lyle were all over him; to say nothing of Buck, Oatie, Quinton, and C.D.  He was hugging and kissing everyone and saw his dad moving toward Beryl.  Buck had a huge smile on his face as he opened his arms to the big man.  Beryl did something uncharacteristic for him.  He broke down in Buck’s arms.  “Everyone, I want y’all to introduce yourselves to one of the finest men I ever know’d.  His name is Beryl McInnis.  We was buddies in France.  He and I got our asses into a peck a’ trouble over there, and I can say I ain’t never had me more fun with another man in my life.  Be good to him.  He’s family,” Buck declared.

Confusion was the order of the day.  So much was happening so fast.  Dad Dan was next to be all over Waddie.  The big cowboy hadn’t been home in over a year.  He said his goodbyes, took off on his new bike one day.  He was good to call home and let his folks know he was all right and what he was up to, but he couldn’t come home yet.  All the men and women came to meet Beryl and welcome him.  Each had a hug and kiss for Waddie, too.  Cass smiled at Beryl and his brother sheepishly.  He went to Waddie who held his arms out for him.  Cass was ready to apologize and tell his brother how sorry he was.

“Shuuu—none of that, little brother,” Waddie said gently, "We knew why you had to get away and where you were going.  I’m so glad to see our dad here,” Waddie held out his arm for his dad, Randy, and pulled him into their embrace, “God, I love you, Dad.  I’m glad to see you here,” Waddie said.

“Well, if’n it wasn’t for that big cowboy sheriff, I wouldn’t be.  He’s one in a million, Son,” Randy replied.    

The rest of the afternoon was magic.  All the family came to the Justins and Waddie roped with his brothers and dads.  Cassidy roped again with his dad.  There was some great roping done that afternoon and the next day as well.  Randy Crenshaw spent two nights holding his boy close to him and comforting him during the night to chase away his horrors.  It was rough on Randy but more so on Cass to see what he was doing to his beloved dad.  Everyone had a great time visiting and roping, but by the third morning Randy could tell his son was getting anxious to get away.  He could see it in his eyes.  Randy knew it wouldn't be long before Cass took off.  Randy Crenshaw’s heart was breaking.  Cass knew his dad wanted him to come home, but he wasn’t ready.  He did talk to his mom briefly on the phone and told her he loved her.  Cassidy cried when he said hello to each of his little brothers especially Shawn and C.W.  It broke Cassidy's heart when his brothers cried and begged him to come home to them.

Randy at least had the consolation of knowing Cass’s big brother was out there on the road with him and the big man named Beryl, who was a close friend of Bucks, seemed to have a great affection for his boy.  He could only pray as he watched them ride away down the ranch road that Mr. Uriel and his Father would look after his boy.  He watched them take off like jackrabbits when they hit the blacktop and could feel the pit of his stomach trying to fold in on itself.  Buck walked up to him, dropped his big arm around his shoulders, pulled him close, and handed him an envelope.  “I was instructed not to give you this until after Cass was gone.”

Randy Crenshaw opened the envelope and inside were two cashiers checks from the Riviera Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas; one in his name for thirty thousand dollars and one in Gus Franz’s name for ten thousand dollars.  Randy hung his head and wept quietly.  Buck took him into his arms and comforted him.  That horrible, senseless, useless, rotten war in Southeast Asia cost him another son.  No amount of money could make up for that, but he was overwhelmed by his son’s gift of love to his family.  Randy Crenshaw vowed to his brother Buck, Vietnam would not cost them another son.  He made a personal promise to Mr. Uriel and his Father he would not send another one of his boys to be sacrificed on the alter of greed.


End Chapter 4 ~ Harley & Mutt
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WC 11526  Proofed: 04/11/2011