HARLEY & MUTT
By Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 3

Flashback:

The jungle was hot, deathly hot.  It was summer in Vietnam and it was like being steamed alive in a rice cooker; a very stinking, rotten smelling rice cooker.  The pack C.C. carried was heavy to begin with, but today it weighed a ton. His buddy Olef Beergan was walking point in front of him.  His platoon walked at least thirty miles in country and were lost.  They were tired and mentally exhausted watching for any and every sign that would tell them if Charlie was around.  Beergan was from a small town in New Mexico.  He was raised on a ranch like his buddy C.C. and was a buckaroo.  He and C.C. had a lot in common.  They could talk with each other in cowboy lingo and be at peace for a while with their common bond.  They spoke the same language and lived for the same purposes in life.  They lived and loved by the cowboy code.  Neither Olef nor his buddy C.C. was ever away from home before being drafted and sent to Nam.

C.C. whose initials were C.C.C. for Cassidy Crandel Crenshaw was known  by everyone in the platoon as C.C. Rider.  Most of his buddies just called him Rider.  His closest buddy, Beergan, called him by his given name, Cassidy or Cass.  Cassidy was also a cowboy and grew up on a ranch in Southwest Texas.  He was one of fifteen boys his mom and dad raised and to hear tell was a pretty damn good cowpoke.  His older brother was in another platoon.  He would see him from time to time, but he hadn’t seen or heard from him in a while.  Hell, he and his platoon were in country now for almost six weeks. They weren’t suppose to be out that long, but ran into several fights.  Their numbers were dwindling.  They were fatigued and anxious.  They were getting nervous and sloppy in their defense.  They were making mistakes they ordinarily wouldn't make.

Cass saw the mine before his buddy stepped on it.  He was about ten paces behind him. He opened his mouth to yell at his friend when he saw the flash--- an explosion--- he could feel the heat as something slammed into the side of his face knocking him backward.  He was hit in the gut by some large object he thought was a ball of some kind.  Years of football conditioning taught him instinctively to grab hold and not let go.  He grabbed the object and fell with his face in pain.  He pulled it up to him so his one good eye might see what it was.   He looked and couldn’t believe what he was holding in his hands.  It was his buddy Beergan’s head, his eyes still open, functioning, and his lips moved but no words came out.  The horror of it all was Cass could make out the words, “I love you, Cass.”  Then Cassidy Crenshaw passed out.

He drifted in limbo; in a fog.  He couldn’t find his way, his bearings. There was fog everywhere and as he walked it moved and swirled up around him.  He saw a figure and walked toward it.  It was his buddy Ole standing alone with a sad look on his face.  Beergan opened his arms for his cowboy buddy to come to him.  Cass didn’t hesitate.  He was once again safe within the big man’s arms.  He cried his heart out as Ole kissed and comforted him.  “Beergan, I’m so damn glad to see you.  I had a terrible dream.  It was so horrible I can’t even tell you about it.  Ole, we have to get out of here— together.  Look man, I don’t care if we desert, we’ll find a way.  I can’t take anymore a’ this.  Please, Beergan, say you’ll run with me,” Cass pleaded.

“It weren't no dream, Cass.  I’m dead, but you're still alive— if that’s what you wanna’ call it.  You dreamed you caught my head after it was blown off, right?” Olef asked.

“Oh, God, no!  Ole, tell me it didn’t happen.  I love you, man.  You mean the world to me.  I can’t go on without you by my side, brother.  I ain't never told you this, Ole, but I’m a coward, a yellow bellied son of a bitch.  I got a yellow stripe up my back wider’n the ones on the interstate.  You always was the tough one and my strong right arm.  I wouldn’t a’ made it this far without you.  I won’t last another day without you by my side.  Besides, who else will love me and take care of me like you done.  I never knew what love was until you showed me.  I’d played around some, I loved my brothers, but nothing like I love you Beergan.”

“Hesh up that kind of talk, Cass.  Y’ain’t no Goddamn coward.  You saved my damn life three fuck’n times and pulled me to safety when you could a’ run the other way and saved yourself.  I’ll admit, I ain’t never seen no men more afraid than us at times.  Just, ‘cause you’s afraid, don’t make you no Goddamn coward.  Hell, I was, too!  Most times I’d be a’ shake’n in my damn boots, but you done what you had to do for your buddy to get him out of harms way.  Don’t you never go tellin’ me you’re a damn coward again.  Hell, man, you don’t know the times I been walkin’ point I unloaded in my pants ‘cause I though we was walk’n into a trap.  I’d have’ta get away and rinse out my fatigues ‘for I got to smelling too bad,” Olef said.

Cass cried in his buddies arms until he couldn’t cry any more.  “What happens now, Ole?” Cass asked his big Swede buddy.

“I’m a’ gonna’ make love to you one last time, cowboy, afore I gotta' go and leave you.  They wanted to take me across right away, but I told ‘em I had to come and make love to my buddy one last time to let him know I love him.  I couldn’t just go down the trail, Cass, without let’n you know how much I loved and appreciated you being my friend and mate.  We didn’t just use each other, you know.  I fell deeply in love with you, ya' little shit.  I never got to try a woman.  Don’t knows I could a' given you up if’n I’d made it through and did get to try one.  Wouldn’t a’ wanted to, really.  I’s so in love with you I would a’ been proud to ride by your side for the rest of our lives, cowboy.  Ain’t never found nobody what made me feel the way you do, Cass.” The big man held Cass gently in his arms and began to kiss his tears away.  

Cass didn’t care if it was real or not.  For some reason, God gave him this chance to be with his love, one last time and he was neither going to question nor fight it.  It was real to him.  He could feel, taste, and smell his beloved cowboy buddy holding him in his arms one last time.  He was going to make it as good for his buddy as he knew Ole would make it for him.  Beergan always was a thoughtful, caring lover.  He never took what he needed without making damn sure his buddy, Cass, drank deeply from him as well.  He and Cass made love so many times it became second nature to the big Swede what buttons to push and when,  to make every sexual experience the two men shared one of uncompromising joy and release.  Olef passed his hand in front of Cass and his ragged, torn clothes were gone.  He told Cass to do the same to him.  Cass watched as Beergan’s fatigues disappeared.  He stood before him in the glory of his youthful manhood ready for his buddy to drink deeply from him once again.  Without a word they moved into each other’s arms and began their passionate dance they accomplished so many times together.

They made love, tasted and touched every spot they knew would send the other into sexual ecstasy.  Finally, Beergan mounted his smaller buddy and began to fuck him with all the strength, passion, and love in his body.  He knew it was the last time he’d get to fuck his mate in this frame of existence, and he was going to make it one they both could dream about for years afterward no matter where they were.  Cass felt it and it was like no other time Olef fucked him.  Riding Olef’s big cock was the only thing on either side of heaven or Earth Cass could imagine was the closest thing to a perfect feeling.  He worked with his cowboy buddy with every ounce of his being knowing the better he made it for Beergan the better it would be for him.

Olef let out a buckaroo whoop and yelled to his little buddy to come with him.  He would fuck him until he felt his ass try to chew his cock off.  Rider could feel the big Swede emptying his load deep into his gut and it was enough to trip Cass’s come trigger.  He shot several full loads onto Beergan’s and his own stomach.  Beergan collapsed on top of his mate, holding his big cowboy cock way up inside of Cass, and began to make the sweetest love to his beloved buddy.  They continued to drink their fill until Beergan withdrew.  They lay for a while not saying a word until Cass became aware there were four cowboys standing looking down smiling at them.

“Shee-it, Cass, “ the smallest one said, “I’d say you stayed in the saddle longer than any damn eight seconds.  Didn’t wanna' jump down off’n that pony, huh, Son?” the cowboy kidded him.  Cass blushed.

“Leave my mate be, White.  He’s a good man, and I love him,”  Beergan sternly rebuked the young man.

“Weren’t no doubt in our minds, bubba.  Hell, we’s just jealous--- ain’t we, guys?” White said.  The rest held up their hands in agreement.  "You 'bout ready, cowboy?"  White asked Olef.

“Yeah, thanks for letting me make love to my buddy one more time.  He needed it, and to tell the truth, so did I.  I’m ready to go now.  Gimme’ another kiss, Darlin,’” Olef said to Cass.

Cass kissed his buddy and mate one last time.  “Oh, God.  Don’t go, Olef.  You know what this’ll do to me.  I love you, Beergan,” Cass called after him.

“Not a whit more’n I love you, cowboy, but you have to live.  You got one hell of a man to live for back home.  These old boys showed him to me.  He’s one hell of a fine looking hombre.  He don’t know it yet, ‘cause he fancies himself a straight man.  He is, but once you come into his life, he won’t never be happy until he makes you his slave.  He’s a good man and you deserve each other.  He needs you, cowboy.  Go, live, and love, Cass.  I’ll be with you when you need me.  All you gotta' do is just call out my name, and I’ll come a’ running,” Olef said, smiled, and waved to Cass.  The small cowboy took Olef Beergan’s hand and led him away with his buddies into the mist.  They disappeared.  Cass couldn’t feel them anymore.  He knew they were gone.

Cass woke up in a hospital with his head and most of his body covered in bandages.  Half his face was blown away and he had burns over fifty percent of his body.  He was in agony but they kept him sedated most of the time.  He would pass into and out of reality.  Several times he met and talked with folks he loved who already passed over.  He met and talked with his beloved brothers, Thane, Clyde, and Gip.  He spent one afternoon in a beautiful garden with folks he loved.  He cried in Mr. and Mrs. Dobbs arms and laughed with his Uncle Buck’s granddad and grandma.  Then one afternoon as he lay there his older brother JR came to him to hold him.  “I know enough to know this ain’t no dream, is it, brother?” Cassidy asked him.

“No, Cass,  I’m dead.  I was shot and died before they could get me back to the hospital.  Our brother Waddie found me and did ever’ damn thing he could for me.  I died in his arms in the chopper on the way back.  He’s really upset, little brother.  I’m just before crossing over but our brother’s Thane, Gip, and Clyde are here to lead me across.  You remember Waddie lost his brother Gip and Clyde several years ago.  There’s gonna’ be a mixup and our family’s gonna’ get a report you’re missing in action.  They’ll find out I’m dead.  My body’s already on its way back.  After you get out of the hospital, if you don’t feel like going home for a while, don’t.  You’re face is in bad shape, brother, and it may take you a while to get used to it.  I know you lost Olef and that was tough.  He was a good man, Cass.  I’m sorry for you, brother.

"I know losing me ain’t gonna’ be easy for you neither ‘cause we loved each other more than brothers usually do.  Hell, we slept in the same bed all our lives; even when we's in college.  I can’t remember spending a night apart from you until we got sent to basic.  I missed the hell out of my little brother, Cass.  We grew up together being cowboys and rope’n partners.  We got pretty damn good together, too, didn’t we?  Don’t get much closer'n 'nat, brother.  I loved you more than you’ll ever know, little brother, and I want you to carry that thought with you through life.  I know you loved me.  Hell, seems like all our brothers are the same way.  Hold your head up, Cassidy.  You been handed a hard time in life because of your wound.  When the going gets tough remember your bother loves you and is doing his best to look out for you.

"Don’t let them send you back in-country, Cass.  Fight them, brother, make ‘em send you home.  I’ll help you all I can. Talk to God, Cass.  What Waddie and Gip told us weren’t wrong.  He does hear and he does care, but the way I understand it we gotta' go through some bad times or else we won’t really appreciate the good times.  Tap into the goodness and voices of the universe.  They got somebody wonderful for you to love.  I talked to our brothers' Waddie and Gip’s angel a while ago and he’s look’n out for you.  You’re gonna’ have it rough for a while, but if you just hang in there, brother, no matter how dark it gets, he’ll lead you to the light.  Talk to the Old Man.  Let him know how you feel and what you’re thinking.  Ask him for anything, don’t be afraid.

"Find our brother Waddie.  He’ll help get you through this. He’s gonna’ need your help as well. You ain’t even gotta' tell him who you are.  He’ll recognize your soul, I promise.  I gotta’ go now, my beloved brother.  I had to come to you to tell you how much I love you and to tell you I’ll see you on the other side— on down the trail, cowboy.”  Cass watched as his brothers Thane, Gip, and Clyde waved, took his brother JR’s hand and disappeared.  Cassidy saw his departure as another love gone.  It was like his life was being taken away from him one love at a time.  He forgot about Gip being dead.  How that must have hurt his brother Waddie.  He suddenly felt worse for his brother Waddie than he did himself.  He knew the love Waddie and Gip shared and the talent for roping they reveled in together.  How he and Gip selflessly shared their knowledge with him, his dad, and all their brothers; especially his younger brothers.  His dad welcomed the boys into their family and he felt Waddie, Gip, Clyde, Oatie, and Little Gip were as much his brothers as any of the others.

Cass  recovered somewhat or at least well enough to be sent back to Hawaii for recuperation.  They patched him up a little, fixed his face a bit, saved his eye, then decided they were going to send him back to active duty.  At first he just accepted it and thought, ‘What the hell, it would be better to get shot and killed than to have to go though life with no face.’  He grew more and more depressed but remembered his brother’s words, stood up, and told the army ‘no’ he wouldn’t let them send him back.  He figured he’d given his three brothers, JR, Gip, and Clyde, half his damn face and his mate for their stupid war effort.  No one would tell him what he was fighting for or why.  Until they did he decided he’d done enough.  He told the army to go fuck themselves, he wasn’t going back to that stinking shit hole.  He’d done his part.  The army was going to court marshal him but he got a civilian attorney who made quick work of the army’s pompous lawyers.

The way the army looked at it, he had six months left on his hitch.  He wasn’t too pretty with half his face blown away but, what the hell, he could still carry and shoot a gun. The army was only interested in numbers, men, for gun fodder.  They probably thought, ‘We may as well finish this one off since he’s going to have a rough go back home with a face like that.’  They didn’t want to spend the money for the reconstructive surgery it would take to make the man halfway decent to look at or they would’ve already started surgeries and given him some hope.  They just didn’t bother. They left him like he was with half a face.  Cassidy Crandle Crenshaw came home a defeated man.  He didn’t contact his family because he was ashamed he didn’t go back to fight. Even though he came home with a couple of medals he still felt like he was a coward and a deserter.  That’s the way the army wanted him to feel and he did.  His little lady attorney tried to assure him he was neither a deserter nor a coward and not to feel that way.  She fought for him, got him all his benefits, but still he felt like a failure.  Many men came home from Nam feeling the same way.

He kept in touch with a little girl from Austin he’d met while attending U.T.  They fell in love before he left for Nam.  He asked her to wait for him until he returned and they would marry.  She wrote to him all through Nam and assured him she didn’t care what his face looked like, she wasn’t that kind of woman.  She loved him for who he was.  He didn’t notify anyone he was home; not even his parents.  She was the first person he went to see.  When she saw him she ran screaming out of the room and never wanted to see him again.  If she felt that way, he knew he couldn’t go home to his family in Bandera.  He knew they loved him and he loved them but he couldn’t take their pity.  Besides, they still thought he was missing in action.  Better, he thought, for them to think he was dead.

He tried to get jobs but an employer would take one look at him and tell him the job was filled.  No one would consider hiring him even when he told them he was a Vietnam veteran.  He was like a lot of Nam vets who returned and couldn’t fit in.  The only place he could find peace was running from the rain.  His heart was broken, and he was less than a shell of a man.  He didn't consider himself a man.  He was never allowed to grow up.  He was still a young boy in a mature body.  The experience in Nam didn’t make boys into men.  It took boys away from their homes at as young an age as they could get them and kept them that age from the senseless stupidity and everyday horror they witnessed.  Most just didn’t want to grow up and face the realities of the horror around them.  Afterward they were stunted in their emotional development.  Many who returned never grew up, lived their tragic lives, and died as undeveloped adolescents.

The little lady attorney who took Cassidy's case pro-bono against the military got him a better than decent settlement and severance pay from the army.  Cass had money in his pocket.  He bought himself a big Harley, taught himself to ride, and hit the road.  Cassidy didn’t have a friend to his name.  He didn’t know anyone beyond his immediate family and his brothers.  There were a couple of men, Gip and Waddie’s dads, he loved dearly.  He thought of them as his uncles and other dads.  Waddie’s dad in particular always had an arm open for him.  Then there was Bubba, who was like an older brother to all the Crenshaw boys.  He never forgot a birthday or Christmas and always had time to listen.  He made his home in the same small West Texas town of Chapel Creek.  He didn’t know if he wanted to see them. They would remember him as a fine, strapping, young, good looking cowboy, and now here he was, a man with half a face.  The worst of it was the part which was left was almost unrecognizable.  He came back to find himself very much alone, a stranger in a strange land.

* * * * * * *

The trip to Las Vegas

Master Ben, Harry, and his staff flew to Las Vegas early the next morning.  Mutt spent the night serving his friend and master, Master Beryl.  Beryl was impressed with the young man and found himself being drawn into Mutt’s affections.  Their relationship definitely reached a new plateau.  It was evident to their traveling companions the next morning.  The men went to settle up with Mr. Clark for their charges for their rooms, but he told them Ben took care of it.  They owed him nothing.  That impressed his companions and Mutt, but it didn’t surprise Beryl.  He was used to Ben’s generosity and accepted it graciously.  He never took it for granted and always allowed Ben room to be himself.  In his own way, he was as gracious with Ben as he was with the big man.  Rondo Cabasian and Banger Deets were enthused about being Master Ben’s guest for several days.  They needed a small vacation away from their family of bikers anyway.  They had seconds in command who stepped in and led the group.  They were headed North for the Calgary Stampede.  They said their 'goodbyes' and told their family clan they would catch up with them in a week or so.

The ride to Vegas was wonderful.  There wasn’t a large group of bikers to keep up with or for which to slow down.  Since he was the elder statesman, Beryl set the pace and if you rode with Beryl you learned  to keep up.  The big man knew how to ride a bike and didn’t spare the horses.  It was fine with Harley and Mutt.  They were used to riding with Beryl, but Rondo and Banger were having some problems.  They muddled along and Beryl would raise his hand for Harley and Mutt to slow down for a couple of miles.  Rondo and Banger would catch up.  They arrived early afternoon and parked in the new underground bike parking area.  Beryl lead the way to the check in desk.  The man behind the counter couldn’t do enough for Mr. McInnis.  He was well acquainted with the big man and actually developed an honest admiration for him and his family.  He couldn’t have been more helpful.  By the time they got to their rooms it was late afternoon.  The phone in Beryl and Mutt’s room rang the minute they walked in the door.  It was Harry.

“Yes, Harry, and how was the flight down?” Beryl asked.

“Uneventful, but that’s good.  Uneventful is always good,” Harry replied.

“I can imagine.  We made good time when we could get Banger and Rondo to take their foot off the brake and taught them what their throttles were for.   Damn, them two boys are slow,” Beryl said, threw back his head and laughed.

“Boss Ben would like your party to join him for dinner in the main dining room in about an hour.  Can you folks be ready in an hour or should we give you more time?” Harry asked.

“No, that should be fine.  A shower and change of clothes won’t take us long.  Maybe for Janice, but I don’t know, it’s been so long since I had one of them for a pet, I wouldn’t know,” Beryl said and laughed again, “Tell, Ben we’ll see you guys in an hour,” he added and hung up the phone.  Beryl asked Mutt to tell Harley and Janice and then Rondo and Banger.

Ben was waiting for them in the dining room.  It was a much nicer dining area than the coffee shop and served decent food.  They had a wonderful dinner and Ben got to know Rondo and Banger a little better.  Ben set between Mutt and Beryl and would, every now and then, touch Mutt or put his arm around him.  Beryl thought it was strange because he could see Harley’s reaction was not what he thought it might be.  While Harley was pleased for his buddy because he now had a couple of major new friends, Beryl could tell somehow it was disconcerting or disquieting to him.  Even Rondo and Banger included Mutt in their conversation more.  

“Do you guys feel up to some gambling this evening?” Ben asked over coffee.  They agreed they weren’t so tired they couldn't gamble for a while.  Beryl, Harley, and Mutt already told Rondo and Banger the drill.  Nevertheless, they couldn’t believe when Ben staked them a thousand dollars each to gamble with.  Beryl figured out a long while ago the method in Ben’s gracious madness.  To him six thousand dollars was like six dollars to the average man.  He thought in mega-bucks and had it to spend.  He knew the law of averages and chance were such that among a group of people who were friends and associates, having a good time and gambling together, there would be one who would be a more substantial winner than the others.  He rarely walked away from a table when gambling with his friends he didn’t win heavily.  The hotel didn’t care because he spent lavishly entertaining dignitaries and heads of state.  They came to know and appreciate his adopted biker family.  They came to respect their affection and loyalty to Ben.  They were amazed at their protectiveness of him.  If there was the slightest trouble in the casino, five to seven large men would stand in front of Ben to protect him.  He didn’t get that kind of protection from his four bodyguards.

Mutt’s heart was not really in gambling that evening.  He was thinking more about the two cowboy’s who were ropers.  He didn’t know who they were, but he had an itch in his gut to get his hands on a rope again.  Something inside him spoke to him telling him to feel a saddle beneath him and a rope in his hands was exactly what he needed to screw his head on straight.  Then, too, the amount of money he saw being tossed around was something he wasn’t used to.  He felt no negative thoughts about the comfort and happiness he saw money could provide; however, he couldn’t help think about the times he had little in life but his family.  He lived his life having to do without because one of his older or younger brothers needed something.  He never minded because he got something from them all the money in the casino couldn’t buy.  He could count on their love, respect, and appreciation for him.  He belonged to them and they to him.  To Cassidy's way of thinking, his family was priceless.

But, how much lighter a load it would be for his dad and mom if he could somehow manage to get some of his financial windfall to them?  Mutt thought how great it would make him feel to help his younger brothers have some of the nicer things he and his older brothers didn’t have.  It was somewhat easier for his parents because the two oldest boy, Billy Bob and Earl D. finished school and were successful vets in the area.  They made damn good money and helped their dad and mom as much as they could.  Mutt suddenly shifted mental gears and began to see gambling as not a waste but an opportunity.  It was like a voice spoke to him and told him it would help him make his dream come true; just listen to his voice.  He set his mind to the purpose of accomplishing his goal and suddenly began to not only win again but he was betting heavily and winning.  Before he placed his bet he would quietly announce the number to come up to his compatriots, and he was winning straight up three out of five calls.  He gave permission to anyone playing at their private table to cover his bets.  Master Beryl was on one side of him and Ben on the other.  Either one or both had their arm around him most of the night.  Ben was in his element and everyone at the table was winning.

It was the habit of the casinos if a table was winning heavily to make a change of the man gaming the table.  Master Ben objected and they relented to let the same man spin for the rest of their time gambling.  They weren’t about to go against a man who gambled ten thousand per chip.  By the time Ben asked if everyone was ready to call it an evening and join him for a drink, Mutt won at least six thousand dollars for himself and once again felt Master Ben slip three more white chips in the pocket of his western shirt.  Ben gave Mutt a big hug.  Mutt almost started to object but saw Big Beryl’s raised eyebrow and head shaking behind Master Ben.  He thanked Ben several times for his graciousness.  Ben was thrilled because Mutt made him a lot of extra spending money in two evenings time.  Mutt cashed in his chips and got cash for himself; however he asked the lady cashier to make him out a cashier's check in his dad’s name.  Somehow he was going to find a way to make his dream come true.  He was going to send some of his money to his folks.

* * * * * * *
 
Ben invited Mutt to stay the evening again with him.  He already cleared it with Beryl and told Mutt to be sure and get his companion-master’s approval.  Beryl smiled, and wagged his finger at Mutt, “See, I done told you," Beryl said, "listen to old Master Beryl.  You won’t go wrong, Son.”  Beryl broke into laughter.  Mutt hugged and kissed the big man on the cheek thanking him for being his friend.  Beryl got a bit misty eyed but quickly recovered.  Mutt spent another wonderful evening with his hero and new master-friend, Master Ben.  He was much more relaxed and succeeded in serving his master even better than before.  Ben couldn’t have been more pleased with Mutt.  Harry got to know Mutt that evening and found him uncomplicated, intelligent, and seemed to have unlimited stores of affection within him he seemed to constantly control so he didn't overwhelm.  He had the heart of a true cowboy and never wanted to appear to push himself on anyone.  He was quiet, modest, and respectful.  For Harry, those qualities only added to his charm.

* * * * * * *

Mutt certainly wasn’t upset the next morning when Harry waltzed in with coffee and more Danish.  He thought if was rather nice to have coffee brought to him and his master.  It was to be a big day.  Master Ben was taking them to Steve and Cal’s new hundred and fifty acre ranch about twenty miles outside of Vegas.  Everyone decided to take their own transportation.  They followed Master Ben and Harry in the limousine.  They arrived, parked, and walked toward the huge barn.  Cal walked out and motioned for them to come to the barn.  Out of the darkness of the barn came the biggest, ugliest, brawny, tattooed, bald headed, flaming red beard, ornery looking biker Mutt ever saw.  Next to him was one of the most handsome cowboys Mutt thought he’d ever seen as well.  He instinctively knew, without asking, they were a bonded pair.  The aura of love that surrounded the older and younger man seemed to flow from one to the other and was palpable.  How could it be, he wondered?  They looked like beauty and the beast but their love was a great equalizer.

Mutt was walking next to Master Beryl and started to stop dead in his tracks when he saw the cowboy who was walking behind the big ugly man and handsome cowboy.  It was his big brother Waddie.  Beryl was on one side and Ben on the other.  They each put an arm around Mutt and wouldn’t let him stop walking.  Cowboy was out of the barn and in Master Ben’s arms and then in his beloved Master Beryl’s arms.   Beryl held Mutt while Ben was meeting folks and Ben held him while Beryl was greeting them.  Years later Beryl would laugh and tell the story they were afraid Mutt would bolt for his bike when he saw his brother.  They set a plan before they got there, one or the other would hold him while they were meeting folks.

“I weren’t real sure whether it was God or Allah what set the reunion up but Ben and me were determined his will was gonna’ be done or we’d go to hell a’ try’n!” Beryl would say, then throw back his head and roar with laughter.

Cowboy was introducing everyone and finally came to Mutt.  Master Ben introduced him to Cowboy, Booger Red, and Waddie.  Mutt shook their hands and softly mumbled customary greetings.  He shook his brother’s hand but refused to look him in the eye.  Waddie held Mutt’s hand for a minute, cocked his head to one side then spoke to him,  “That happen to you in Nam, Son?”  Waddie asked.  Mutt just nodded and turned away.  Waddie didn’t pursue it further.

Cowboy introduced Big Beryl to the big, good looking cowboy.  “Have we met before, Waddie?  You look awful familiar to me,” Beryl said.

“Naw, sir, folks tell me I got a typical cowboy face.  I’d remember meet’n such a big, fine look’n man as you, sir.  Big men have always been a weakness of mine,” Waddie replied.

“Glad to hear it, Son,” Beryl said and his eyes lit up with interest.  The two men enjoyed a laugh together. “I swear you look exactly like an old army buddy of mine I knew in France; loved him like ma' very own brother, I did.  His name was Buck Claymore,” Beryl said.

“He’s my dad, sir.  He’s the county sheriff of my home town of Chapel Creek in West Texas,” Waddie replied with a big grin.

“You's Buck’s Son?  Son of a bitch, boy, gimme’ a hug!” Beryl exclaimed.  The big man enveloped Waddie and had a big grin on his face.  “Hell, I should a'  put two and two together, but I thought your last name was Lovejoy.  I remember hearing about a roping team of W.C. Lovejoy and Gip Justin,” Beryl said.

“That would be my brother Gip and me, sir.  It’s a long story about my last name.  I’ll tell you about it a little later.  Cowboy here’s a’ rare’n to do us some rope’n,” Waddie said and winked.

“I’d love to hear about it and more about your dad.  I got me a couple of stories to tell you, too,” Beryl said.

Beryl quickly learned Mutt’s little ways of avoiding pain and hurt for himself, and he could tell meeting his brother unexpectedly threw his world out of balance.  He didn’t want his brother to know he was alive, but yet, it hurt him deeply Waddie didn’t recognize him.  Beryl got Mutt off to himself.  Ben knew Beryl’s strengths and let the two men have their privacy.  “You wanna’ tell your old buddy what shook you to your core about meeting that handsome cowboy?  Ju’ know him from Nam, Son?” Beryl asked.  Beryl already knew Mutt's association with Waddie.  He just wanted to see if Mutt would share with him.

“Naw, sir, Master Beryl,” Mutt replied quietly with his head down.

“Wait a minute.  I know’d I seen his face som'ere's before, but I couldn’t put it together.  Lemme’ see that pitcher a’ yours again,” Beryl demanded.  Mutt reluctantly reached for his biker wallet, slowly removed the picture, and handed it to Master Beryl.

“Uh-huh,  just as I figured.  Son of a bitch if’n he ain’t the big’un on your right with his arm around you a’ huggin’ you the tightest.  I know you well enough to know you won't lie to me.  Waddie's yore' big brother, ain’t he, Son?” Beryl asked.  The big man watched as one tear run down his buddy’s good cheek.  He pulled Mutt to him and held him.  “Them other three men in the pitcher are your brothers, too, ain’t they?” he asked.

“Yes, sir, Master Beryl,” Mutt said through his tears.  Beryl held him tight as Mutt cried in his arms.  Beryl tried to be strong but he couldn’t.  He shed a few with his younger biker buddy.

“Oh, dear God, what a crazy, fucked up world we live in.  There’s no consolation, Son.  It don’t never get no easier.  The most we can hope for is to laugh at the funny shit what passes our way, and hope to find a bit of love for ourselves.  Don’t worry yourself none, I ain’t a’ gonna’ say nothing, but how long you think it’s gonna’ take 'afore he figures out who you are?” Beryl asked.

“Maybe he won’t, Master Beryl,” Mutt said.

“I get the feeling you two were much too close for him not to figure it out.  ‘Sides, 'at man’s seen a lot in his young life.  I doubt seriously you’re gonna’ put one over on him.  Now, tell me about the other men in this pitcher,” Beryl said.

“The one on my left, is my brother Gip, and the one next to Waddie, my brother Clyde, are dead, Master Beryl.  The other man’s my other brother, Oatie.  He didn’t have to go to Nam ‘cause he had heart problems.  He’s still at home.  One more brother, not in this pitcher, only a year older’n me, JR, he’s dead, too.”

“I can’t believe yore' brother is W.C. Lovejoy?” Beryl said and shook his head in disbelief.

“‘At’ud be him, cep’n his last name is now Claymore,  Master Beryl.  Gip Justin, my other brother, was my brother Waddie’s mate.  He died in Waddie’s arms in Nam,” Mutt said.

“Then this is Gip Justin in this pitcher.  Sorry to hear he’s dead, Son.  He was a good man, and one hell of a cowboy,” Beryl said.

“You know of ‘em, Master Beryl?” Mutt asked.

“Anybody what follows Rodeo knows W.C. Lovejoy and Gip Justin about as well as that other cowboy out there, Billy Gunn, Jr.” Beryl said.

“Naw, you ain’t a’ tell’n me that cowboy’s Billy Gunn Jr.?” Mutt replied and grinned.

“In the flesh, Son.  Didn’t Ben tell you?  Waddie’s probably the only roper in the country who could keep up with him.  I know'd Cowboy ever since he came back from Nam.  Helped nurse him back to health.  Hell, I wanted that kid for my own, but that big, ugly, dad-burn, good fer nothin’ brother of mine beat me out,” Beryl declared and laughed.

“No disrespect, sir, but my brother ain’t the only man in the country what could keep up with Cowboy.  My brother taught me ever’ thing he knows ‘bout roping,” Mutt said quietly.

“Well, son of a bitch!  I learn more about you ever’ day, boy, and all of it seems to be good.  My brother, Ben, knows choice stock when he sees it.  I’ll have to compliment him on his choice of slaves.  I know you two been doing each other some good,” Beryl joked with Mutt to lighten the mood.  “Didn’t you tell me you lost one other brother over there?” Beryl asked.

“Yes, sir, my brother JR died in Waddie’s arms, too," Mutt replied.

“How’d ju’ know that, Son, if you ain’t talked with Waddie since you been back?” Beryl asked.

“My brother, JR, he come to me when I was recovering in the hospital to tell me 'goodbye' and he loved me.  Told me Waddie tried ever’ thing he could to save him but he couldn’t.  Told me it was really rough on my brother, Waddie, losing his other brothers and think’n I was dead, too.  He did tell me to find my big brother; said he would help me.  Maybe God’s thrown us together for a reason,” Mutt replied.

“I’d say the Almighty’s send’n you a message special delivery loud and clear, Son.  Not through no post office, neither.  He’s a droppin’ it square in your lap.  If I’m any judge of character, after all these years, I’d say that cowboy would bust his butt for his little brother.  He’d fill his boots with shit if’n he thought you was dead then come to find out you’s alive.  Damn, Son!  Don’t cha think you owe it to your big brother.  He don’t care what cha’ look like.  He’s your brother for Christ sake, your family.  If’n he knew’d who you was, that chu’ was alive, can you imagine what a relief it would be for him?  I can tell from his face he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He’s been through some shit as rough as you have.  You could lighten his burden a good bit, Son; however, I’ll leave that up to you.  I won’t say nothing,” Beryl said.

The men started roping and Mutt climbed up on the corral fence between Big Beryl and Booger Red to watch.  Waddie kept glancing over at Mutt.  Mutt watched as his brother would take his hat off from time to time and scratch his head like he was thinking about something long ago and far away.  Mutt kept trying not to look at the big cowboy, but from years of love, respect, admiration and plain hero worship, he couldn’t help glance Waddie's way.  He admired the way his brother set a horse.  He always looked like the cowboy Mutt wanted to be.  He couldn’t help think how handsome a man his brother still was.  Yes, he looked older and, like Beryl said, he looked like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
 
“So you’s a pretty good roper yourself, huh?” Beryl said interrupting Mutt’s thoughts.  Booger Red overheard Beryl's question.

“Who taught you to rope, Son, your dad?” Red asked.

“Naw, sir, Master Red, my big brother,” Mutt replied.

“You roped since you been back from Nam, Son?” Red asked.

“Naw, sir, ain't nobody knows I know how,” Mutt replied.

“You been home to see your brother, Mutt?” Red pushed.  Mutt was silent for a few minutes but fidgeted like he was uncomfortable with Master Red’s question.

“Red won’t say nothing, Son.  I know'd that man fer damn near forty years.  Even if the ugly, old, no good, son of a bitch flat out done went and stole that pretty cowboy there right out from under me, I’d trust him with my deepest secret,” Beryl said disgusted and Red burst out laughing, “You wanna’ tell ‘em or you want me to?” Beryl asked Mutt.

“You can if'n you like, Master Beryl,” Mutt said softly.

“Brace yourself, Red!  That big cowboy out there a’ ropin’ with your slave is his older brother what done taught him to rope,” Beryl said quietly.

“Good God in heaven!  And, he didn’t even recognize you, did he, boy?  Fuck me in the butt, that’s gotta’ be hard to take.  I’m sorry I pushed you with them questions, Son,” Red said sincerely and put his big arm around the young man and pulled him close.

“S’all right, Master Red.  Just as well.  I’d just as soon my family think I’s dead, anyways,"  Mutt replied.

“They don’t know you’re back?” Red asked.

“Naw, sir, Master Red, due to some mix up in names and body count the army's still got me listed as MIA.  You know about ‘military intelligence.’  I been back now over a year and a half and ain’t been home.  They probably think I’s dead,” Mutt replied.

“Shit, Son, I’m sorry.  You interested in roping with them two?  You know who my slave is?” Red asked.

“Yes, sir, Master Beryl done told me a minute ago.  I couldn’t believe it; Billy Gunn, Jr.  I’d love to rope with him, Master Red,” Mutt showed some enthusiasm.  Red saw it as a healthy thing.

“No problem, boy,” Booger Red said, “Cowboy, we got us another roper here.  Tells me his older brother taught him to rope pert-damn good.  Let’s see what the man can do,” Red hollered at his slave.   

Cowboy rode over to the men sitting on the fence.  Waddie was waiting in the dock for the next steer.  “You ride header or heeler, Mutt?” Cowboy asked.

“Mostly heeler, sir, but I can ride both,” Mutt replied.

“Tell ya’ what, that big cowboy out there’s Waddie Claymore.  He’s as good a roper’s I am any day of the week.  Why don’t you take my pony, throw a couple with him.  Then I’ll take his pony and toss a couple with ya.  How’s that sound?” Cowboy asked.

“Fine with me, Mr. Gunn.  That man’s Waddie Claymore?” Mutt asked playing dumb.  Beryl winked at Red.  Red smiled knowing what the kid was up to.

“Sure as Hell is, Son.  One of the finest ropers I ever done run across.  I know'd about him and his brother Gip for years but our paths never crossed until yesterday,” Cowboy said.

“I hear’d tell he’s pretty good,” Mutt said as he mounted Cowboy’s pony.  Cowboy walked over to talk with Waddie to tell him of the change in ropers and would he mind roping with Mutt?

“Aww, Hell, no!  C’moan, Son!  Glad to have ya’ rope with me.  Let’s see what chu’ got.  Watch me close and stay with me.  Have a good time,” Waddie said, winked at Mutt, and tipped his hat.

Waddie watched the young man closely as he let out his rope and then recoiled it exactly the same way he did.  Mutt moved his pony into starting position, got his rope ready and nodded to his brother.  Big Cal dropped the barrier and Red was timing.  Waddie’s horse exploded out of the dock and Mutt was right beside him.  Waddie no sooner had the steer roped and turned than Mutt caught the hinders, dallied his rope, and his horse backed up to finish.  

“Done!” Red shouted as he stood up on the corral fence and stopped his watch.  “Well, I’ll be damned.  The kid weren’t lying none.  Three seconds better’n any of your times together, yesterday, and today, Cowboy.  Congratulations, Mutt,” Red said with a big grin.

Every person there, sitting on the fence jumped down yelling and whooping at the end of the throw because the two of them were not only deadly accurate but clocked the best time of the day.  Amid all the hubbub of congratulations, Waddie got down from his horse and walked slowly over to Mutt sitting on his pony.  “Get chore' ass down off’n that pony, Son!” Waddie shouted at Mutt.  Mutt didn’t know what to think, but he would never say 'no' to his beloved brother.  His heart ached with the love and respect he felt for Waddie.  The other men backed away and looked at Waddie like they thought he was angry about something.  Waddie held Mutt at arms length with a hand on either shoulder and looked deep into the young man's eyes.  He pulled Mutt to him, threw both arms around Mutt’s neck, held him close, and started sobbing his heart out.  “Goddamn you, Cass, why didn’t you tell me it was you!  All this time we thought chu’ was dead,” Waddie said through his tears.

Mutt— Cassidy Crandle Crenshaw, Waddie’s younger brother, broke up when he realized his brother finally recognized him.  The two men were surrounded by the other men who put their hands on them for comfort and support.

“Ask Red or Cowboy,” Waddie spoke softly through his tears, “ain’t no man throws a rope same’s any other.  I taught you how to throw.  I watched you coil your rope same’s I do mine and thought, ‘That’s strange.’ I knew the minute the rope left your hand who you were.  Oh, God, sweet baby brother, I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you; but, thank God and sweet Jesus, you’re alive!  You made it back!  Praise God Almighty, our Father in heaven!”

“Is this man your brother, Mutt?” Harley Boone asked in amazement.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Harley, Waddie’s my brother,” Mutt replied.

“Hoe-lee shit!” Cowboy said.  Steve and Cal stood with their mouth's open in awe.  Rondo and Banger were wiping their eyes.  Janice was crying in Harley’s arms and even big Harley had a tear running down his cheek.  Harry had his arm around Red and they were devastated.   It was a powerful moment.  Waddie hugged and kissed Mutt numerous times.  He wouldn’t let him go.

“Oh, Cass, our brother, JR, died in my arms, sweetbaby.  I tried, God knows I tried ever’ trick in my book to pull him through but there were just too many wounded and we couldn’t get them out fast enough.  He died on the way back to the hospital.  I been home to visit his grave and our dad and momma Sarah are, once again, in the pits of sorrow.  They don’t know you’re alive.  The army told them you's missing in action.  They think your dead; so does ever’ one back in Chapel Creek.  Do you know what it would mean to them to know you're still alive?  I know'd ju' well enough to know why you ain't been home, but fuck yore' face, Cass!” Waddie exclaimed.  There was a silence then someone laughed, “Ah, Hell, little brother, you know what I mean.  We’s family, Cass, you'n me.  We’s brothers to the bone, gotdamn it, but hell, I can understand you not wanting to go home.  It was the hardest damn thing I ever had to do in my life was to face Dad Dan and tell him I let him down.  I didn’t bring our beautiful cowboy home to the safety of his arms.  I’m still a mess, Cass.  I can’t set still in any one place for more’n a day or two at a time, then I gotta' hit the road.  ‘At’s the only place I feel comfortable or whole again is on the road; running, constantly running,” Waddie said like a man emptying the baggage of his soul.  They cried some more together.

“C’moan you two.  You got all day and evening to love one another," Cowboy said, “The man said he wants to rope with me and, by God, after watching him toss a rope I sure as Hell wanna’ rope with him.  C’moan, let’s rodeo!” The rest of the day was like a dream to Mutt and his big brother Waddie. They couldn’t take their hands off each other.  Every chance he got Waddie had his brother in his arms making love to him.  The men could feel the love that flowed back and forth between them and the joy in their laughter with each other.  Not one of Mutt’s biker friends ever heard Mutt laugh like he did with his brother.  He had a wonderful, lilting, deep hearted laugh that was as infectious as Big Beryl’s.

Just listening to them laugh together would get Beryl and Ben laughing and slapping each other on the back. “We done good, Brother!” Beryl said quietly to Ben.  Ben nodded in agreement.

The evening went on and Cal and Steve served a wonderful barbeque dinner with all the fixings.  Waddie and Mutt were the center of attention.  They couldn’t talk to each other fast enough.  Waddie and Mutt told some of the most outrageous stories about their families and good times together.  They had everyone falling off the picnic benches laughing.  They could see the love Waddie had for his younger brother and how glad he was Cassidy was alive.  Mutt’s face was bad, but it didn't matter to Waddie; to him, Cass looked like a prince.

“Who give you the name of Mutt, Cass?” Waddie asked.

“Some big biker I had a hard-on for named Spider.  I asked him to be my master and he got pissed off; all insulted like, and kicked the shit out of me.  Mr. Harley came to my rescue and picked me up out of the dirt.  Him and Ms. Janice cleaned me up and fed me dinner.  They heard the guy call me that and just thought it was my name.  I liked the way they called me Mutt so I just kept it.  Now, all them bikers only know me as Mutt," Cass replied.

“Hell, the way you used to tag around after me’n Gip, we used to call you our little mutt, remember?” Mutt remembered and the two men burst out laughing again.

“Hell, the man ain’t no Mutt when it comes to throw’n a rope,” Cowboy allowed.

“‘At’s fer damn sure,” Master Red agreed, “I’d say that big brother of yorn taught you to rope better’n pretty damn good, Son.  I ain’t seen much better roping than I seen here this afternoon,” Red said.  The other men agreed with him.

“I learn something new about you everyday, Mutt,” Harley said, “And, I’m proud to call you my buddy.”

“Count me in on that, too, Son,” Big Beryl said.  Master Ben just held up his hand to be included.  Rondo and Banger didn’t say much but they already talked to Beryl about asking Mutt to join their family.  Beryl’s advice was to give him a little more time.  He was worried it may be too much too soon for the young man to handle.  He just made a giant step meeting his brother.

That evening, after hours of bullshit and story telling in the barn, the men decided to go their way for the evening.  Everyone decided to stay at the ranch for the night.  Cal and Steve had plenty of room and a special apartment for their new Boss, Master Ben, and his secretary Harry.  Ben never felt the need to bring his armed guards when he visited Cal and Steve.  They were now on his payroll as two of his armed guards as well.  He sent Cal and Steve to school to learn to shoot and had them licensed to carry weapons.

Waddie announced his little brother was spending the night with him in the barn.  Mutt coudn’t have been happier.  He didn’t leave Waddie’s side all day except to throw a rope.  None of the other men pressed to sleep in the barn with them.  They wanted to give the men their privacy; however, Beryl did tell Ben he’d love to be a fly on the wall and watch.  Cowboy and Red agreed with him.  In all their years of growing up and being in college together, Cass and Waddie never spent the night in each other’s arms.  Waddie had Gip and Cass had his brother JR.  He and JR never engaged in sex as much as Waddie and Gip but Cass always enjoyed it when his brother wanted to share with him.  JR wasn’t the type of older brother who was controlling or tried to tell his younger brother what to do.  He was mellow and would give as well as take from Cassidy.  They were perfectly suited for each other.  Cassidy was quiet and thoughtful while JR was strong and forceful, yet he had a romantic side to him that treated his little brother as an object of his affection.  He and Cass never argued or fought.  Sometimes they’d go against their other brothers in friendly competition, but it never escalated in to anger or violence.

Waddie made the sweetest love to his brother.  Cass knew what he wanted from his brother and made it a point to be clean for him.  Waddie knew what he needed to take from his little brother and did so with all the love in his heart.  Waddie fucked Cass three times that night and each time Cass swore was better than the last.  He was more relaxed than he ever was since coming home from Nam.  During the night he was awakened by Waddie moaning and talking.  He rolled over and saw his big brother sitting up with his eyes wide open not aware of where he was.  He was talking to someone, yelling at them to bind another body and get the Hell out of there.  Waddie started yelling and screaming.  Mutt grabbed him and held him tight.  He knew what his brother was suffering and started crying as he called his name and rocked him in his arms.  Waddie finally came to and found himself in his brother's arms.  He jumped at first then realized where he was and started crying himself.  He cried and cried trying to apologize to his brother.  Cass assured him he’d done the same damn thing.  Finally they both drifted off to a deep sleep.  Waddie woke the next morning when Beryl and Ben came to the barn to get them for breakfast.  Waddie was alone.  Mutt rolled his bike out of the parking area to the road and took off while his brother slept.  He didn’t tell anyone where he was going.


End Chapter 3 ~ Harley & Mutt
Copyright © 2003 ~ 2011 ~ Waddie Greywolf
All rights reserved
Mail to: <waddiebear@yahoo.com>
WC 9936  Proofed: 04/11/2011