Booger Red & Cowboy
Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 15

Booger finally opened up to me about his condition after we had a marathon rodeo in our cabin. Red began to cry as he told me. I held him and made love to him to comfort him. "You knew already," he said quietly. He said it as a statement of fact rather than a question.

"Yes, Master," I paused for a moment, "You know I ain't gonna' lie to you. I came looking for you, not because I knew about it, but because my dad, God love him, challenged me to get off my butt and quit feeling sorry for myself. 'Get chore' cowboy ass on the road, find that crazy old son of a bitch, and set it right with him. You've got too much time and love invested in that ugly old man not to make an effort. You two are obviously bonkers about each other. Just ease up on him a little, Son. You don't have to sell your soul, just lighten up. I know what he done to ya' was a bitch, but one mistake don't make a bad man, Billy. The best of men make mistakes from time to time. Sometimes the hardest thing about love is learning to forgive. I know'd Red for thirty-five years or more; I know him to be a good man, Son. I never told you, but I owe my life to Red. That man crawled the length of a football field under heavy enemy fire and pulled my ass all the way back to safety when no one else would. He fell in love with your Uncle Bud and saved his life, too. I was sent home and Booger stayed over there. That's why I told you, you could do a lot worse for a master than old Booger. I'd give that man anything he wanted from me including my son to love,'" I said quoting my dad.

"Sounds exactly like what Gunn would say. I think the world of your dad, Son. I love him a lot," Red said and smiled.

I continued, "Then I realized, I put you through too much. I was coming to beg you to reconsider; give me another chance to be your slave, but when I started asking your whereabouts, I got the news. You can't hold it against our family, Booger. They love you, but they don't agree with you leaving me out of the picture. They think we should be together, Master, and I agree with them. They love us, Red, and they want us together," I said.

"I don't want you to watch me die, Cowboy. I love you too much for that. You're the love of my life, Son. I love your dad, I loved your Uncle Bud, I love Walker, but I ain't never loved no man the way I love you, Cowboy. I can't imagine doing that to you. I love you too fucking much," Red said and started to break down.

"Am I your slave or not, Old Man?" I asked in a demanding voice.

"Hell, yes, you are! You know damn well you're my property. I made that choice for you before you went to Nam. You wanted me to. You gave me the right to claim you as my property, because you trusted this big ugly beast when you first looked into his eyes. I owned you from that moment on. You gave your word. The deed you gave me was still valid, and being the man you are you lived up to your commitment and honored it. I own yore' cowboy ass. You'll continue to be my slave and serve me until I die. You belong to me and no other, and Billy, I thank God, you do," Red said, broke down, and started sobbing. He was racked with emotional contradictions. I held him, trying to be strong for him, but I couldn't keep the tears away.

"Red, I ain't never told you this, but I'm going to now. There's somebody else who insists we be together through all this, and I agree with him," I said.

"Who's that, Cowboy?" Red asked.

"God," I said quietly. Red looked at me funny because he heard me talk in my sleep to Uncle Bud, and the cowboys. "You must a' done a lot of good in your life to get his attention. That Old Man must love you some'um fierce, 'cause he sure dogged my ass to be with you. He gave us free will to make choices about how we go about our lives but sometimes he has somebody in mind to do a certain thing and if'n they don't, he gets real pissed. You think I'm stubborn? Oouuwee, dogies, you ain't never seen stubborn. He don't take 'no' for an answer."

"What are you talking about, Cowboy?" Red asked.

"When I came back from Nam I was so angry with God, angry he took Buck from me, angry 'cause he took two of the most loving friends I ever knew, he took my aunt, and if that weren't enough, he took my Uncle Bud. I was angry about the idea of ever trying to love anyone again and angry at myself for being angry. I was like a snake eating itself. I couldn't see you right away. There were several reasons, but the most important was, I couldn't give up Buck. Secondly, I was angry with you for holding me to a commitment I made under stress.

“I had the biggest rodeo of my life to compete in, my year with Uncle Bud was coming to an end, and I was facing being sent to Nam. I was too young to think about commitments. I told you in Glen Rose I didn't know what the future held, and I didn't know if I could keep my commitment to you. I told you about Buck when you visited after boot camp. I told you then I was falling in love with him. I thought to myself, 'Here's a man almost twenty years older than I am. He's mature enough to just let it be.' I told my dad I was working up to seeing you. Once I went to tell Buck goodbye then you were next.

"It was easy to pass off my commitment as the product of an immature, inexperienced, vulnerable child. Here was this magnificent beast standing before me who had the greatest, deepest love for me in his eyes, a love that bridged any difference in our ages. I've come to learn a magnificent beast knows no age. He is ageless." I smiled at him, "I knew beneath the hard, battle scarred, mean looking outlaw biker beat the heart of a fine, loving master. We were in the same place in the universe, like two rogue planets, pulled into each other's orbits by such a magnetic pull, I knew I would become a moon to my beast, caught in his gravity never to escape.

“You were like a black hole my heart and soul was being drawn into. I couldn't escape. The pull was too strong. You still do it to me; its never stopped. We can be in a room full of hot good looking men, and the only one there I can see is my magnificent beast. I can be talking to someone, trying to carry on an intelligent conversation, I see you out of my peripheral vision talking to someone across the room and get a roaring hard-on. I lose all concentration in my conversation and end up sounding like an idiot. How can I tell the person, 'I'm sorry, I lost interest in our conversation, you're not boring or nothing, it's just I got this boner from looking at my master and my mind went blank.' Red grabbed me and threw back his head in laughter.

"I ain't laughing at you, Son, 'cause I done the same damn thing. I usually, tell 'em the truth, have a good laugh, then try to pay more attention. Ain't easy when my partner 'twene my legs has only one thought on his tiny brain. I've had to run to the head several times, 'cause it was trying to crawl out the top of my cod piece."

We both laughed. I continued, "When we met that night you saved me from Cal, the comfort of being with you, knowing in my heart I belonged to you, jogged my memories of my feelings from Glen Rose. I fell in love with you again. I comfortably rationalized my commitment away never considering what it might mean to my beast. I thought, 'Well, he's an older man, he's played the game many times and sometime it just don't work out.

“It never hit me, I never saw it, until you said something to me in Reno that first week we were back together. You looked at me with the greatest hurt I ever saw in a man's eyes and asked, 'Did you tell Buck, you could only give him half your love because you were still in love with me?' Then you answered your own question, 'No? I didn't think so.' and you were right. You nailed my ass to the wall with your final statement, 'I'm standing here with a deed in my hand what say's I own yore' ass, you're my slave, you're my property. You gave it to me. You gimme' your word. Here, you can have it back, it's worthless.' I may have forgotten my commitment to my beast, but God didn't. When you walked into the shower and left me standing with my mouth open I heard the voice of God, himself.

"Why are you doing this to this man? Why are you playing this game with him? You're his slave. You were before you left for Nam. I gave you a wonderful man to love and help you through the terror. He loved you so much, he chose to give his life for you, so you might live and return home, and for what reason? So you might fulfill your commitment. Four people will need you; your dad, Booger Red, Buck's dad, but most importantly a giant, hairy, bear-like, man-beast who's a personal friend and faithful servant of mine. You haven't met him yet, but you will. I allowed you a summer with Dan Yates to help him recover from his son's death and for you to lean on him.

“I allowed Buck to come to you to tell you, you must keep your commitment to your beast. Your place isn't in Dan Yates' bed. He'll be fine. I'll see to that. I can't tell you why I want you to be with Booger Red. You don't need to know why you have to be with him. First of all, it's none of your business and secondly, it's because it wasn't me what gave him the choice to make the decision for you to become his property, it was you. That alone should be reason enough. Keep your commitment to Booger Red. He's right, he holds the deed to your soul. You gave it to him. By rights, the man owns you."

"But, sir," I said tryng to reason with him, "surely you don't hold slave contracts men make between themselves as valid and binding. I was a child when I made that contract with Red."

"Like Hell I don't!" he replied, "Any contract between two people, verbal or written, is valid and binding with the original intent of that contract to be honored. Any manipulation by either party or some stupid word merchant of an attorney makes the contract instantly null and void. You gave your word. That was as good as if you signed a written contract with your own blood. If you give your word to a man and don't live up to it then you lied to him and you're a fraud. I don't like liars, cheats, and frauds. Say, didn't Cher make a record of that?" he asked.

"Naw, Sir, that was, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves," I corrected him.

"Yeah? Well, whatever. Men have always owned slaves. That don't mean I agree with it. They just have, probably always will, so I had to make provisions for the faith of a good slave. Just more damn work for me. In some cases it's best for both; damn few cases, but it can be a good thing. Yours is a case in point. You need to learn a lesson and you need to teach old Booger Red one. It's you guys who fuck up the concept of a benevolent master to a loving slave. It's you who fuck up the contracts. What do you think my angels are? We don't call 'em slaves but you could make a case, I suppose. Look at it this way, be his slave and you'll be my angel." (You don't want to hear the Old Man belly-laugh, Master.) The Old Man continued, "I know it's too cute, but what the hey, if I got through your thick head, I've hit a home run," he said.

He continued, "Now you got a group down there, what call themselves lawyers. Stay, the fuck, away from them." (Yes, Master, he said, 'Stay, the fuck, away.'") "They'll fuck up any contract with as much mumbo-jumbo as they can and charge you out the ass per word. You're guaranteed to get fucked and never get kissed in the process. When they finish law school, pass the bar, get their certificates and diplomas on the wall, be sure to read the fine print at the bottom of their certificate. It says, 'License to steal.' I'm gonna' really enjoy seeing those bastards tap dancing in place while they try and plea bargain their way out of Hell. I have a section 'specially reserved for them. Can you imagine any greater Hell than putting all them boring son’s of bitches together in one place?

"I gave you folks down there free will. What or how you choose to accomplish what I set out for you to do, is up to you, but some of you twist things about so much you make things twice as difficult as they need to be. Some of you would fuck up a wet dream. By the way, I gave you those, just another one of my bon-bons. You pray to me to direct you in your life, keep you away from harm, show you the way, then you blame me for every damn thing that doesn't go your way. If you don't want me messing with your life say a quick prayer, it don't have to be elaborate, nothing fancy, no need for a lot of 'thees' and 'thous,' just tell me to butt out. 'At's all it takes. You're on your own, Brother. You prayed to me to help you be good and help others, well, I'm doing my best, Son, but ya' gotta' work with me here.

"You were angry at me for taking Buck. Okay, so, I took Buck. I didn't take him to punish you. He chose to give his life for you, so you might live. I took Buck because he served his time; he done what I asked of him and more, he did it with simplicity, grace, dignity, and love. You witnessed it. You watched it happen. He transformed you or I wouldn't be talking with you now. You saw him perform miracles because of his simple faith and yet you remained suspicious. Buck is my son in whom I am well pleased. He sent me prayers since he was a little boy. He believed in me from the beginning and never stopped. His faith never wavered. Yours, on the other hand, is like a sine wave on an oscilloscope. I love Buck and wanted him with me. That's my right. I have the power to do that, you know?

"However, I felt like shit taking him from you along with your buddies and your Uncle Bud at the same time, but they let you know, big time, they ain't left you behind. That's why I allowed Buck to come to you. That loving man's trying to steer you right. I even told Buck to give you his blessing to be with old Booger and he did. You think it was easy for a man who loves you as much as Buck does? It ripped him a new asshole to tell you that, Billy. He told you, you wouldn't give him up until you gave yourself to Booger Red. He knew it was the right thing to do for you, but it didn't make it no easier for him. Look, Son, I'm only asking you to keep a commitment, you, yourself, made. Do I have to kick you in the butt to get you to do what I asked, you stubborn little twit? (Yes, Red. God really called me a 'twit.')

"Okay, sir, I will, not because you told me to, but because I love Booger and want to be his slave," I told him. He groaned and made a sound like he was smiting somebody with his terrible swift sword.

"I don't give a tinker's dam why you do it or how you do it, just do it!" He went away grumbling to himself saying something about, "Sweet Jesus, where are you when I need you? The kid's good looking, smart, but stubborn as a damn Kentucky mule; gotta' whomp 'em up side the head with a two by four to get his attention. I say, I say, the boy didn't stay in the egg long enough," he said.

"Well, he scared the fuck out of me, Master. Look, Red, I ain't never lied to you, and I ain't gonna' start now. I ain't lying about hearing God's voice that day. Later, when you left me, I was home in my bed after sleeping 'round the clock for over a week. Buck come to me and told me God was gonna' let me know why He wanted us together; to get my ass up and on the road to look for you. He told me not to hesitate. I must leave the next morning; your life depended on it. Took me a full two days to get to Reno. I had dinner with Ben, Harry, Cal, and Steve. When they told me, I felt like a fool. I was so damn embarrassed I wanted to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. That's why the Old Man wanted me to be with you and because of my pride I fought him and you.

"I was pained by the news, Red. I immediately ran to the men's room and threw up. I love you so much, I don't wanna' lose you. I've lost too much in life already. Red, it's gonna' break me in two to lose you, but I know this ain't all there is. I think the worst part was I didn't trust the Old Man. Buck told me I had to swallow my pride and ride with you after we broke up over T-bo. I was so fucking confused I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted more time to think about it than the couple of weeks we were apart. God wouldn't let me, Red. Ask my Dad, ask Walker, or ask Ben and Harry. I told them the same thing. God wanted me to swallow my pride and ride with you.

"That's why I put you through such shit. I was angry with you. I was angry at God. I was angry with myself, but your determination made me love you again. You took it from me. That's not a complaint, it was your right, your due as my master; however, it was the most wonderfully exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my miserable life. As devastated as I was when I returned from Nam, I experienced an unimaginable physical and spiritual high with a man who loved me enough to make a choice for me when I couldn't, and held me to it by taking it from me. Lesser men would've simply walked away and written me off.

"That man loved me, and he knew without asking I loved him. By God and all that's holy he was going to take it from me because it was not only his due; after all, he did own me; it was because down deep inside he knew I wanted him to prove his love for me by taking it; and, he did, over and over again. His slave couldn't get enough. Then something very strange happened. All the shit, rough games, name calling, fighting, became a suit of armor the man pealed away a piece at a time until my soul stood bare, naked, exposed before him as I am now, to tell him, I have no more defenses; I have no more fears; I have no other thought or greater need in life than to serve the wonderful, magnificent beast who sits beside me.

"There's no longer a you and me, Booger, there's only you. I have become you, not us, not we, but you. My soul is at peace. It's what I wanted all along and would never admit to myself. I don't want to be anyone else but you. When I think of myself now I'm beginning to think of myself as you, as much as an eye or your right hand or, yes, even that monster that dwells between my master's thighs. I'm even the waste that passes from your body. I have become that magnificent beast who looked into my eyes that night in Glen Rose and told me if I allowed him to make that choice for me, I would want no other. There was no other bold enough or strong enough to make that choice for me.

"Be forewarned, Man-child, I'm a hungry beast, needing to feast on what only you can bring to my table. Give me that choice, if you dare, Young One, and I will surely consume you with my love; the greatest love you'll ever witness. Oh, what a feast it will be. You'll take as much joy in being consumed as I will consuming you. There will not be an iota of you left. Have no fear, Little One, you will not perish, for when I have finished my meal, you'll be where you've always dreamed of being. You'll find the peace you're looking for. You'll be where you belong. You'll be warm inside me, nourishing both of us, but living through me. No longer you, but me and that joining will bring us peace and comfort for the rest of our days together."

"The beast was right. I've been consumed. I am you, Red. I am no other. I want to be no other. I will be an extension of you until you release me, but I pray you never do. Not being with you is not an option, Master, as I've just explained. Much greater forces than you and I are involved here. I'll be here, by your side, 'til the end, Master. If you can believe even a portion of what I told you then you'll realize I have to be there because I am you. I belong to you, Master, as surely as your right hand." I said in a broken voice. "You know, h'it ain't like we have to face it alone. We have family to see us through.

“Buck told me the Old Man would send us two more immediate family members to help us. They's suppose to have the same name's me. I don't know how he's gonna' pull that one off, but I have to trust him, Master. I can't imagine you not having me by your side. I can't imagine a morning without you waking next to me, and I can't imagine not being your slave or being unable to serve you another day until God calls you home. In short, I love you, my beast. I could do worse than to be the slave of such a magnificent beast." I was finished. I couldn't go on. I threw my arms around him, held him close and let it all out. I couldn't be strong anymore.

"I love you, Cowboy," Red growled softly as he, too, began to sob in my arms.

"Then let's go. Let's do it. I ain't gonna' let you sit around waiting to die. We have enough money to go anywhere, do anything we want and even if we didn't, Ben would see to it we did. Is there anything you've really wanted to do and never got the chance?"

"Yeah, I've always wanted to tour our country on a bike. I've never been east of Dallas, Texas and never in the Northern states. Let's go, Cowboy. Tour as much as we can, see as much as we can, meet as many people as we can, help when we can, and love as much as we can, until I start showing signs. I couldn't imagine anything I'd rather do or anyone I'd rather do it with."

"Of course, Master, I've never seen our country either. Sounds like a great idea to me. Let's leave tomorrow. Let's not waste a day, Red. Let's cram as much living and loving into the time we have left. When it comes time to say goodbye we can smile at each other and know we shared something special few people ever do."

"That's your master's decision, Slave," Red said with firm resignation.

"I'll be only too happy, honored, and damn proud to obey that order, Master," I assured Booger.

"I love you, Billy," he said quietly.

"I love you, too, Red. I always will," I said softly, "Master would you consider starting from Los Angeles?" I asked.

"What'd ju' have in mind, Youngster?" Red asked. He was sitting on the bed. I knelt before him and took his hand in mine.

"Master, would you consider honoring me by allowing me to give myself to you to be your slave, to be owned by you as your personal property, for the rest of our days together, in a ceremony before our family. It would mean a lot to your slave, sir," I said. The big man spread his legs, pulled me to him, held me for the longest time with my head against his chest before he answered.

"I'd be the one honored, Slave," he said quietly, "We'll leave today. I'll call ahead and ask our clan master to make the arrangements. A small, quiet, simple ceremony for Sunday afternoon," my master said then he looked at me and grinned.

"Yeah, sure, Master. I'd like to see you pull that one off. The term 'quiet ceremony' and 'our family' can't be used in the same sentence. Do you think for a minute our family is gonna' let us get by without a blowout party? Quiet ceremony with our family? My ass. Especially, with Master Beryl making the arrangements. He'll call Barnum and Bailey to see if'n he can book 'em," I said.

"That's about right," my Master laughed, "God, I love that old man."

"Me, too," I allowed, "I don't think I'll ever pass that damn initiation," I lamented and we laughed together. It felt good to laugh. We didn't need anymore tears.

Red and I left the Russian River area and headed South toward the valley of smoke. Red called Master Beryl who was staying with Master Zack and living part time on Mt. Washington with Big Jim and Master Jeb. He was beside himself with joy. He yelled, hooped, and hollered.

It was a Wednesday and we figured if we stopped overnight we could roll into Master Jeb's and Jim's around Thursday afternoon late or at the latest, Friday morning. Red and I always made good time. If'n you want to ride with Booger Red you learned to keep up. That man could ride a bike like a bat out of Hell. It was a fast but leisurely trip to the South land. The glow of our love lifted Red's spirits. He wasn't thinking about the end. He was thinking about us. We stopped several times for gas or food; once in a while for a brew. 'Course I never got to drink beer. Uncle Bud was right when he told me about being Booger's slave. One of the first things Red taught me when we went drinking was, I was only allowed 'Booger Beer.' That was that. After three years, I feel cheated if I don't get two or three bottles. I never did mind it. Hell, I got to where I enjoyed it. Sometimes he'd offer me a sip of his beer, and I'd take it. I'd grimace, make a face, and he'd laugh. I never developed a taste for beer. I sure did for 'Booger beer.' Once in a while, on a hot afternoon he'd ask me if I wanted a real beer. I'd take it 'cause it seemed to be what he wanted me to do. I'd finish it and sort of play with the empty bottle.

"Want another beer, Slave?" he'd ask with a growl.

"Oh, no, thanks, Master, that's enough for me," I'd say and continue to play with my empty bottle.

"Gimme' that damn thing and go get me another beer," he'd smile knowingly. When I got back to the table with his beer, I'd find a full bottle waiting for me. "Don't know why you don't just ask for it," he'd smile proudly.

"I've always enjoyed your 'beer' but somehow it tastes better when you decide I should be honored with a bottle. It reminds me of who I am and how much your control means to me. Makes me old dick hard, too. I've even come up with a catchy slogan when we bottle it and put it on the market; 'Booger Beer,' a good stout brew. The only beer for a master's slave, and you." Red threw his head back and roared with laughter in his gravelly voice.

"And, you don't think it excites me to see you enjoy my beer?" he asked moving his leg aside where I could see his cod piece. I could see the head of his big cock winking at me from the top. It was my turn to laugh.

We'd go into a bar and he'd give me money to buy two beers. I'd hold a cold one 'til my master finished his then he'd smile real big, wink, and disappear into the head. He was so thoughtful. He'd fill it almost to the top every time. Since we'd torn down all the barriers, I broke down and told Red how much I loved drinking his recycled beer. He'd smile and beam with pride at me. "I know," he said, as a knowing smile spread across his face. Booger made no effort to mask his cocksure, smug, self-satisfied attitude. I loved it. That particular attitude of his turned me on like a raging hormone. I became so used to the taste of his piss it spoiled me. I've taken others but none have the strength and flavor of my master's.

* * * * * * *
We reached Bakersfield and cruised through town. Red spied a couple of bikes at a bar on the outskirts of town and motioned for us to stop. We pulled up, locked the bikes, and went into the dark bar. I went to the bar and bought our usual two beers. We sat at a dark table near the pool table and jukebox. Our eyes adjusted to the light and at another table sat two of the meanest, scruffy, good looking bikers I'd seen in a long time. Red leaned over to me.
 
"Your ass made quite an impression on them two ole boys, Cowboy. 'Specially the young one," my master spoke quietly to me.

"Can't say's I ain't flattered, Master. Are they as mean looking to you as they are to me?" I asked.

"Yeah. They ain't none too shabby look'n neither. Its been my experience, the meaner they look the harder they like to get fucked," I almost fell off my chair laughing. Red didn't crack a joke too often, but when he did, it exposed the bone.

"Well, from my experience, Master, you're just the man what could fuck the meanness out a' that young one. I could fantasize about that older one taking care of my meanness – meaning no disrespect, sir," I said.

"None taken, Son, seeing as how I'm a' think'n I might like to watch it happen," he laughed.

"There's something about them what's familiar. Have we run into them before?" I asked my master.

"I don't think I ever seen 'em before, Son," Red said shaking his head.

"Oh, well, it's probably my imagination," I replied.

About that time the younger of the two got up and headed for the pool table. He looked to be about my age. He walked like the men back in Texas with his hips thrown forward and slinging his boots in an exaggerated swagger. He almost walked like a buckaroo but not quite. It was sexy though, and he knew it. He was a cocky mother. Come to think of it, I remembered where I'd seen that walk before. My dad walks that way. The kid slammed his quarter into the table, the balls dropped, and he began to rack them on the table. "You shoot pool, Mister?" he asked looking right at me. I looked at Red and he nodded.

"I do. Ain't real good at it, but I ain't no beginner neither," I replied an octave lower than my normal voice. Red chuckled. The kid laughed at my response.

"Wanna' play? I ain't real good neither," he allowed.

"I'd like to, but you'll have to ask my master," I replied. I thought Booger was going to choke on his beer. Red wouldn't have cared. I knew I didn't have to ask his permission. All I had to do was look at him and he would've nodded 'yea' or 'nay.' Red knew what I was up to and kinda smiled at me. I wanted a reaction. The kid kinda got a sneer on his mean looking face, and I thought, for a minute, he was gonna' say something snide; instead, his face broke into a broad smile, he walked over to the table and stuck out his hand to Red.

"Name's Sonny, Master Red," Red took his hand and shot a puzzled look at me.

"Nice to meet you, Son.  Uh, how'd ju' know my name?" Booger asked.

"Easy, sir. Anyone with a beard and 'stach's red as yours, gotta' be called 'Red,'" he said, "Sorry I didn't ask you first, Master Red. Didn't mean to be rude or disrespectful, sir. Sometimes it's hard to tell what bikers are about when you first run into 'em. I'd be pleased and honored if you'd allow your handsome slave to shoot pool with me, sir. By the way, that mean looking, handsome, big dude over there – he's my old man, my dad; name's Boots." I could see Sonny was younger than the other man, but they looked like brothers. Sonny motioned for Boots to join us.

"Dad, come on over and meet these gentlemen," Sonny hailed him. The big one lumbered over. I thought the young one had a sexy walk. Holy graham crackers! The big man could've put every pair of boots he owned under my bunk. Woah! His boots were clean and shined to a mirror finish. It made me wonder if the kid took care of his old man's boots. I somehow felt it was a safe bet. Boots was as big as my dad and damned if he didn't look a lot like my old man in the dark bar. I'd bet the ranch he had a comfortable appendage between his legs. He stuck out his hand and Red shook it.

"Good to meet you, Master Red," Boots said in a deep baritone voice. In a dark room I would swear it was Sam Elliot talking.

"Good to meet you, too, Son," Red replied, "I'm Booger Red and this here young'un's, my slave, Cowboy," Booger said. Both men shook my hand. The big one looked me in the eye and lingered for a minute like he met me somewhere before. My dad looks at me the same damn way sometimes. It sent shivers up my back.

"You have an uncommonly handsome, young man-slave, Master Red," Boots said quietly looking deep into my eyes as he said it.

"Thanks, Boots. Just call me Red. I think he's kind a' purdy. Don't much think about it no more. He's been my slave for sometime now. It's what's inside him what makes me want to keep him by my side. He's a good boy, a fine slave, and he takes good care of his master," Red said and turned his attention to Sonny, "It's fine with me, Son, if my boy wants to shoot pool with you," Booger allowed.

"Thanks, Master Red, 'preciate it," said Sonny. I got up to get a pool cue. Since it was his quarter, Sonny was getting ready to break. He made a good solid break, and we started playing. He was pretty good, but I was better. Red was talking quietly with Boots. I wondered what they were talking about because Boots kept looking at me. The weirdest thing was, the two men kept reminding me of my dad. The younger one could've been my dad's brother from pictures I'd seen of him as a young man. The older one looked a Hell of a lot like my old man. Sonny and I played a couple of games. I won the first, and he won the second.

Red finished his first beer and excused himself to go to the head. They saw him take an empty bottle with him. Sonny smiled knowingly and winked at me. When Red returned the bottle was full. The bartender had his back to us talking to some broad at the end of the bar. They weren't paying any attention to us. Red sat it where mine was, took the cold one and poured a little into his small glass. He didn't say a word to Boots. Boots got a big grin on his face, curious to see what I'd do. I walked over, touched Booger on his shoulder.
 
"Thanks, Master, I can use this about now," I said quietly but sincerely. I took the bottle and chug-a-lugged about half of it. Then, I made a small to do about how good it was and wiped my mouth on my arm. "Ah, good and strong, like my master. Thanks, sir. Just the way I like it. They don't make a better beer, Master," I turned and walked back to the pool table with my 'Booger beer.' I no sooner set it down than Sonny jumped me.

"Can I have a taste, Cowboy?" he asked. I knew the kid saw Booger take the empty bottle into the head and come out with a full one. I also watched Sonny's sizable cock get rock hard in his Wranglers.

"Be happy to share with you, Sonny, but do you...?" he didn't let me finish.

"Of course I do," he said as he held out his hand. I handed him my bottle of 'Booger beer' and he took two big swallows of it.

"Damn, you're right, Cowboy. Ain't never tasted me no beer better'n 'nat." My master heard him and turned to me and smiled.

"You're a lucky slave to have such a fine animal like, Master Red, allow you to drink his 'beer.' Think he'd buy me one of them beers the next time he buys you one?" Sonny leaned in to me and spoke quietly. He kind of stunned me. Sonny was the first man I ever met to immediately grasp who and what my master was all about. He had no problem with the dichotomy of our looks or age. With the understated eloquence of two words, 'fine animal,' he complimented me, my Master and let me know he understood, without a doubt, why I was riding by his side. It pleased me he looked upon our relationship as altogether my good fortune.

"I'm sure he'd be pleased to if you ask him right nicely. You don't have to be obsequious with him. My master appreciates a slave who's direct, well mannered, and respectful. If you ask him to consider your request in that manner, you can get anything you want out of him," I responded.

"Anything?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"E'aup, that, too, if'n you show it the proper love and suck on it hard enough," I assured him. Sonny howled with laughter. I took the last swig of my Master's 'beer' and took the bottle back over and set it next to Red. Sonny followed me over with half a bottle of beer and set it next to mine.

"Master Red, I would consider it a great honor, sir, if you'd consider allowing me to enjoy the same brand of beer Cowboy's drinking. He was generous enough to let me taste his, and I found it quite to my liking, sir," Sonny said.

"Well done, Son. I'm impressed with the sincerity of your request. Be downright proud to get you a 'Booger beer,' but you have half a beer left."

"Well, sir, either you may have it or my dad, or just pour it out in there. Ain't about to fill up on no regular beer if'n I can drink some'um good as yore' beer, sir." Red smiled and nodded. He shared the rest of Sonny's beer with Boots.

"Dad," Sonny continued, "you ready, can I get you another beer? How 'bout you Master Red? Be proud and honored to buy you a beer. It's the least I can do, sir."

I think my master fell in love. I could tell Sonny impressed him. The two men nodded and Sonny scurried off to buy two more beers. He brought them back, they thanked him and went on with their conversation. Sonny joined me again.

"You all right with this, Boots?" Red asked the big man.

"Oh, yeah. He's his own man. I don't judge none or criticize him. He's just Sonny. He don't meet many masters he'd ask for that. It has to be a real special man to get him that turned on. He begs me for mine 'til he drives me crazy. If you guys hadn't showed up, I was about to give him some. I usually let him have a couple of bottles when were out. It don't hurt him none. He loves it; likes it better'n beer. Hell, it's cheaper for me. He'd drink my piss all evening if I'd let him. Sometimes, if he's been good I fill him up.

“There's a couple of bikers we ride with from time to time who know he likes it. They're fond of him 'cause I let him suck 'em off once in a while. They're mean-ass son's of bitches but they're good to him, treat him well, and they're protective of him. They don't put him down, make fun of 'em, or talk about him behind his back. They treat him like a little brother. For all the shit they're into they don't judge nobody; they figure, if he wants it, let him have it. Hell, it ain't no skin off their noses. Ain't hurtin' nobody, and the way them old boys drink they got plenty on tap. I know they get a sexual kick out of watching him enjoy their piss. The whole time they're drinking with us they both got erections.

“Sonny swears the uglier, meaner looking of the two plays like he's drunker than he really is, picks up Sonny's bottle 'by mistake' and chug-a-lugs his buddy's piss without making a face, hands Sonny his cold bottle and winks at him. Most time they keep him pretty filled when they're around. He goes around looking like he's pregnant and he sloshes a lot when he walks." The two men laughed. "He's really attracted to you, Red. He's not trying to come on to you or nothing, it's just his way of complimenting you. He has a strict code he lives by. If a master has a slave he never tries to move in on their territory. He may make a friend of the slave or both, but he won't intrude on their relationship. He won't even have a three way with them. If he finds out a master lied to him and has a slave he won't have nothing more to do with him.

He also thinks your slave is about the most handsome man he's ever seen. I have to go along with my boy on that one, Red. Ain't never seen me a man's good looking as him. Sonny 'bout pissed his pants when you guys walked in. I laughed at him 'til I got a real good look at Cowboy. Hell, I guess I did think he was pretty good looking; can't seem to get 'me' old dick to stop dripping," he allowed. They laughed again.
 
"Is Sonny really your son, Boots?" Booger asked.

"'Feard so, Red. I got his momma pregnant when she was riding with me. She was my old lady. I thought I'd taken all precautions. She had me hooked, but I never married her. She talked me into selling my bike. You know the story. She cut off my nuts then cut off my go. I couldn't jump on my horse and ride away. I became a nine-to-fiver and settled down to have this kid. I thought I'd give it a shot, try being a good old man for her and the kid; worked hard at it, too. Everything would've been all right except she couldn't lay off the drugs. I'm surprised the kid's brain wasn't damaged she did so much shit while carrying him. She was so wasted when I took her to delivery, she didn't even wanna' see him after she had him; didn't wanna' hold him; nothing. She told the nurse to get him away from her, she didn't want nothing to do with him. She weren't gonna' nurse the little bastard.

"The nurse told me it was important for a baby to be held right after birth to bond properly with his parents. I didn't know nothing about it. I took him in my arms. I never held a baby before, Red. I took one look at his pretty little face and fell in love with him. It was all over but the shout'n. He had my heart, and I knew I’d never get it back. He was the best damn baby. He rarely cried even when he messed himself. I had to check him regularly to see if he needed changing. She wasn't even interested in naming him. Since I didn't married her she took a shot at me, "Name the little bastard anything you want. Call him 'Dumbo' for all I care." I didn't marry her but my name's on his birth certificate. So, I named him after me and my dad.

"That why you go by Boots and Sonny?" Red reasoned.

"Yes, sir. Two men with the same name gets kinda confusing. Ever since I got custody of him, and he started riding with me, everyone's called him Sonny. 'Cause he's my son, I guess. I got the nickname, Boots, 'cause Sonny was all the time keeping my old boots shined and polished. I always had the cleanest pair of boots in camp; still do. He's all the time spit shining my boots. Funny, I ain’t never asked the kid to do it. One afternoon, when he was seven or eight, I made a comment about my old boots being dirty. I went in our tent to take a nap, took my boots off to be comfortable and set 'em outside by the door under a little awning on the front. When I woke up and went to put my boots on they were cleaned and shined. I couldn't believe it. I ask Sonny if he done it and he said 'yes.' He didn't want his dad wearing dirty boots. Been taking care of his old man's boots ever since." He put one out for Red to see.

"Don't mean to pry, Boots, but what happened to your old lady, Sonny's mother?" Booger asked.

"Aaaw, Hell, she spent ever’ damn penny I made as a bike mechanic on drugs. After the kid was born she wouldn't buy food for him, she spent it all on drugs. I didn't know it, but the kid was starving to death. He never cried or nothing. I picked him up one afternoon, and he couldn't even hold his little head up. I just assumed she knew what she was doing and was taking care of him. Hell, I was a new father, I didn't know shit about babies. That afternoon she was wasted as usual so I grabbed him up and took him to the local clinic where an old doctor who took care of me as a kid worked part time. He took one look at Sonny and told me he was starving to death and asked me if we were feeding him. I told him I worked all day, and I thought she was taking care of him. Well, she wasn't. If he got fed, I had to do it after coming home from work.

"I couldn't work all day, deal with her and take care of him, too. He had bad diaper rash 'cause he laid too long in his own waste. He sometimes lay there all damn day until I got home to change and feed him. She'd be passed out. The poor little thing would be so happy to see me he'd just smile, laugh, hold on to my finger like he didn't wanna' let go. I was all he had, and I wasn't going to let him down.

“I finally had enough. The neighbor lady was a wonderful older woman. Her husband passed away several year before. She called to me in the backyard. She wasn't a gossip, but she thought I ought to know my old lady was turning tricks while I was at work. Didn't surprise me none. I didn't much care except I cut off the money. She pitched a bitch and reported me to the welfare people and the cops. Thank God the lady next door and the doctor came to my rescue and told them what she was doing. I kicked her ass out.

"She thought she was gonna' get back at me by taking Sonny with her. What she didn't know was the welfare people and cops went to bat for me and a judge awarded me custody before I kicked her out. The lady next door knew what I was going through and offered to take care of Sonny in the day time while I worked. She told me she had nothing to do all day since her husband died and taking care of Sonny would help her as well as me. She didn't charge me nothing 'til I got my life together. She was a true angel, a God send and I paid her for several years to watch him while I worked. She passed away not long ago, and it broke Sonny and my hearts. He call her 'Gamma' his whole life. She's the only mother Sonny remembers.

"Within a week, my ole lady hooked up with some scoot trash who was deal'n and she ran away with him. He made enough money deal'n he could afford to keep her in drugs. Good for him. Let him do it. I sure as Hell didn't make that kind of money. I didn't suffer no twinge when I saw them ride away. Within a month, they robbed a liquor store in Fresno. She and her new old man shot two men. One died. They got caught and she's doing thirty to life in the pen. She would've gotten more, but they couldn't prove who pulled the trigger. I ain't never told Sonny his mother's in the pen. She didn't care nothing about him anyway. I told him she died in a bad bike accident.

"I couldn't see taking him to a prison year in and year out so's he could visit his momma and have the stupid bitch try'n tell me how to raise him. I never got another old lady. Hell, he took up all my time. 'Sides, what broad's gonna' ride with a scoot bum what's got a kid clinging to him. I sometimes got me a piece of ass, 'cause some broad thought he was cute. After the cute wore off, goodbye piece of ass." Boots laughed. "T'weren't easy, but we done all right; we got by. I started living for him. He became my life. Didn't go nowhere. I couldn't date. We didn't have much, but we were happy. I'd come home from work every day and he'd toddle to my arms, hug me and kiss me, tell me he loved me and how much he missed me. Any bad thoughts of being trapped or a slave to him flew out the window. It's those moments, those brief fleeting moments made it all worth while."

"Would you do it again, if you had a choice?" Red asked him.

"Would I do it again?" Boots face broke into a big grin, "Bet your master's ass I would. I'd probably be in jail, prison, or dead by now if it weren't for Sonny. You tend to keep your nose clean when you got a kid to take care of." Boots looked down into his glass of beer for a minute thinking, then continued, "It wasn't like it was an awful chore. Granted, it was a big responsibility, but as time went by we got into a routine. Time passed quickly and the more we grew together the easier it got 'til today I can read his mind. I know exactly what he's thinking this minute."

"What's he thinkin,' Boots?" Red asked amused at Boots, thinking he probably would know.

"The way he's looking at Cowboy's ass right now; he don't know nobody's looking; he's wondering how far up Cowboy's hole he could get his tongue," Boot's said. All off a sudden Sonny looked across to the table to see his dad and Red looking right at him. The poor kid blushed. To the men's amusement Sonny grabbed his crotch, got a look of pain on his face, licked his lips as he looked at my butt bending over the pool table. Red and Boots fell out laughing, and I didn't have a clue what was so funny. Red told me later.

"You made your point, Son," Red allowed, "Good one, too," Red laughed again, "Please, go on with your story."

"Here I was, a single scoot bum trying to raise a kid by himself. What was I thinking? I should've had my head examined. All these years I been beat'n myself up thinking maybe the best thing would've been to give him up for adoption to a family who could give him more than me."

"Don't know you well enough, Boots, but from what little I know so far and observed about Sonny, that's bullshit, clap-trap, and pure hog wash. Sorry to be so strong in my opinion but Sonny got everything he needed from you, and it's the only thing a kid really needs. You know what it is without me saying it. He got love from you, Son. Love's different coming from someone who ain't a blood to blood parent. Believe me I know first hand. I was in and out of foster homes 'til my big brother took me and my sister to live with him. He raised us."

"Thanks, Red, I hope you're right. At least I'd like to think you are, and I hope I did the right thing by raising him myself. I don't know what made me do it other than I couldn't stop thinking how I always wanted my dad for a friend and buddy. He was a cold, heartless son of a bitch; distant, always had a wall up. I can count on one hand the number of times he expressed joy in anything I did. Never hugged me; certainly never kissed me; never told me I was a good boy or even a bad boy. I used to do things to piss him off just to get his attention.

“I loved him. Why couldn't he love me? What did I do so bad the man couldn't show me a little affection from time to time. Damnedest thing is, I still love the old bastard today. We never shared love the way I knew it could be between a father and son. It weren't a sexual thing, Red; although, I'll admit, if that's what it would've taken to get him to show me love, I would've gladly done it. I ain't never gone down on a man in my life, Red. Don't mean I ain't never thought about it, but I'd a' sucked my old man off in a minute if I could have just once heard him tell me he loved me."

"You're not alone in those feelings, Son. A lot of men feel that way about their dads," Red consoled him.

"I swore and be' damned if I ever had a kid, I'd know how to love him because my dad didn't show me no love. I'd show the kid all the love I didn't get. I've tried to do that with Sonny. Sonny and I moved down to the other end of the block. I rented a small one bedroom apartment from these two gay men who brought their bikes to the shop for repair. I liked them, tried to be fair and straight with 'em and sometimes gave 'em a break if I could. They wanted me'n Sonny to live there to watch their place while they were off somewhere on their bikes. It was on the alley on the back of their garage. They gave me a break on the rent. Less than half what I was paying for the dump we were living in. They're nice guys. I rode with 'em, and we're still friends today. Sonny and me are staying at their motel they bought. Anyway, one was retired and the other was a small time contractor.

"The neighbor lady continued to take care of Sonny until she began to get sick and couldn't no more. I almost went nuts trying to figure out what I was gonna' do. I even considered a foster home 'til I could make other arrangements. I didn't know Bob and Larry all that well at the time, but they knew something was bothering me. Finally, they confronted me and asked. I told them I didn't know what I was gonna' do. They told me, no problem, one or the other would look out for him while I was at work. He wasn't in diapers anymore. He was pretty well house broken by that time." The two men laughed at Boots' joke.

"Larry took care of him most of the time. He was retired and liked having Sonny around. Sonny was never the kind of kid who got on your nerves. He entertained himself most of the time. Bob was a small time contractor and the few times Larry couldn't take care of Sonny, Bob would take him to work with him. He'd find a safe place to put Sonny, and he'd play there until Bob came to have lunch with him or take him home. He was always happy to have somebody show him attention, play with him, but he didn't beg for it or try to suck it out of you like I've seen other kids do. He was happy to crawl up in your lap and listen when the grown-ups were talking. Bob and Larry think the world of him today. They consider him the son they never had and are all the time buying him shit.

"When he was five I bought my first new bike. Saved my money and paid cash for it. I worked on 'em all day but didn't own one. 'Course the bitch made me sell mine. With a new bike under me, well, you know how that goes; road fever. I knew I had to hit the road. I didn't know if Sonny was going to adapt to life on the road, but I had to try. If not, I always had Bob and Larry to fall back on. We'd grown close during those five years. They kept our place un-rented for almost a year to see if we might need to come back. Finally they rented it again. They hated the couple who rented it, kicked them out and left it vacant. They'd let me and Sonny stay there every time we came back to Bakersfield.

"When Sonny was younger, we didn't stay out too long. We'd circle back to Bob and Larry's, and I'd go back to work at the bike shop for a while. They were always happy to have me back. Bob and Larry treated us like long lost relations every time we came back. So you can see why we've become attached to them. They're like family to us. Sonny rode in front of me until he was old enough to hold on behind. From the beginning he was a good little buddy rider. I tried not to keep him on the bike too long at first. As he got more used to it, he began to love it; we'd ride for miles, but he'd never cry or complain. I made this big safety harness that went around him, and a wide kidney belt for me with 'D' rings on each side to hook-snap his harness to. We'd get harnessed together and off we'd go. He'd get sleepy, lean back against me and drift off to sleep. A warm evening, open road, not a car for miles, blue sky, fluffy clouds, not a care in the world, the sound of my bike purring under me, my boy asleep against my chest, don't get much better'n 'nat, Red.

"You may not believe this, but in all these years, I never had to raise a hand to that kid; never had to spank him or nothing. Chewed his ass out a couple of times for something he shouldn't have done, but he never did it again. It weren't nothing real bad neither. He's always been a good kid, and even as young as he was, he tried to please and take care of me. It weren't that much of a problem raising the little shit, he never was a burden. Hell, we had us some damn good times together. He was my little buddy. There's nobody on this Earth what can get me laughing quicker'n 'nat kid. He can come up with some of the damndest shit. When I'm at my lowest, he knows, and in fifteen minutes can have me rolling on the floor laughing with him.

"Bringing him up in the world of scoot bums wasn't easy. He didn't go to school, 'cause if we stopped long enough in one place to put him in school they'd a' come and taken him away from me. I taught him to read and write. Hell, one saddle bag was always filled with his little story books and readers. Taught him enough basic math to get him through life. He knows his multiplication tables backward and forward through the twelves. I even taught him his 'a fix'n to's.' You know, I'm a' fix'n to, you're a' fix'n to, he's a' fix'n to." Boots smiled at Red. Red caught on. Boots was pulling his leg. He started laughing and so did Boots.

"I taught him to write, too. Not using scoot bum speak neither. I bought a simple basic English book at a thrift store and learned with him. Gave myself as much or more education than I got in school. It's one thing to have to go to school and gag it down, it's a whole 'nother ball game trying to teach it to a little one. A lot of times the kid learned it better'n me. He'd correct me, then I'd have to re-learn it to save face. Damned if you don't remember it then. I can speak proper when necessary, but most times when you're with friends or scoot people you don't feel like being proper.

"Sonny got sick one time and we had to stay in one place for several weeks. We got caught in a situation and them damn do-gooder social services people were gonna' try'n take him away from me, 'cause he was truant. California has a law what say's a parent can teach their kids at home if they want. I told them I was his teacher, and the bike was our home. They didn't believe me. They weren't gonna' go for it. The judge was a good man. He could see the love that passed between Sonny and me. He ordered them to test him. I wasn't for it, 'cause Sonny never took a test in his life. I didn't know how he'd do. I knew he learned a lot. The truth was we both learned a lot, and I knew what he knew.

"Still I was worried. It taught me a lesson I'll never forget; have more faith in my kid. Sonny made almost a perfect score. He missed one question, and knew more than ninety-five percent of the kids his age level. The Social Service people were pissed. The judge laughed 'em out of court, congratulated me and Sonny and sent us on our way. We met the judge later. He was on a bike run we were on. He was a weekend biker and a nice man. He was glad to see us. Told Sonny and me he was thrilled when the test scores came back and Sonny aced them. He told Sonny he was damn proud of him and me as well.

"I figure Sonny's got a pretty good education in people, too. He never wandered off like most kids do. He stuck pretty close to me, unless someone was sitting for me so's I could have a date; which didn't happen a lot. You know how you see kids in a store with a parent and it's buy me this, mom, or buy me that. They scream for candy and soda pop; always hounding their parents for everything they see. Sonny never asked me for nothing and was always surprised and happy when I went out of my way to do something for him. I tried to give him as much love as I could. Every time I thought about my old man, I'd grab him up, kiss him, hug him, tell him what a good boy he was, I was proud of him, and I loved him. Still do every now and then.

"Since the Marines, I ain't never wore underwear, and I never taught him to. Hell, it was just something extra a biker don't need. I never let anyone make him ashamed of his body. He ran around camp naked as a jay bird. I never tried to hide myself from him either. We sometimes lay together in the tent while he read to me. We wouldn't have no clothes on. He'd prop himself up against my belly with me reading over his shoulder to make sure he was gettin' it right. We were as comfortable as could be. If he wanted to feel me I didn't stop him. I didn't tell him it was bad, he shouldn't be doing that. I didn't know how he was gonna' turn out, but I don't think I turned him gay. He told me he knew he preferred men from the age of five. Maybe its 'cause he didn't have no momma, I don't know. Tell ya' one thing. Couldn't be prouder of him if'n he did grow up to like cunt, marry, and have fifteen kids. He's who he wants to be. He's well adjusted and happy.

"One night when he was about twelve years old he thought I was asleep and started playing with me. When he was smaller he'd sometimes grab hold of my dick during the night and go back to sleep. I never pushed him away. He didn't do it as a sexual thing. If he got scared or something frightened him, maybe a thunder storm, he'd hold on to my cock for comfort and go back to sleep. Sometimes I'd hold him in my arms all night. When I felt him playing with me it wasn't his usual grab hold for security. It was different. I didn't jump up, slap his hands away, yell at him to stop, and maybe scare him to death. If he was going to be interested in men, I wasn't gonna' love him any less.

"Besides, to be truthful, it felt pretty damn good. I hadn't had anybody touch my old cock in so long – well, you get the picture. So I waited to see what he'd do. It was almost like he thought it out before hand, knew what he was doing and why. Damned if he didn't make some pretty good love to my old cock. Sonny was a' sucking away, happened to pull the foreskin back, and did his daddy surprise him? I thought he'd pull away in disgust, spit it out, or vomit. He didn't. Took me like a little trooper. Then cleaned me up and rolled over on his side thinking I was still asleep. I gently pulled him close to me, kissed him behind his ear, and told him, "Thank's, Little Buddy. That was awful nice of you. You made daddy feel great. Did you enjoy it?" I asked.

"Uh-huh," he replied and went to sleep. I talked to him the next day. He was open and honest about it. He answered any question I asked. I asked him if he knew what he did, and did he understand it? Yes, he understood. He was making my dick feel good so's I'd shoot white stuff called 'come' and make me feel good. Did he feel ashamed about doing it? No, he was proud he could make his dad feel good, and it made his own pee-pee hard. What did he think when I shot in his mouth? He knew it was gonna' happen, 'cause he'd overheard a biker sucking another one off in their tent and the one getting sucked told the other 'Don't never ask to suck a man's dick and spit his come out. It's bad manners. You just don't do it. You swallow it and tell him how good it was whether you liked it or not.' The man said he'd known men who got themselves killed for doing that. I asked him how he knew about 'come'? He told me he played with himself one night and it felt better'n, better until this white stuff shot out and made him feel wonderful.

"Don't you remember dad I told you about the white stuff what popped out of my dick after I been playing with it. You told me it was called 'come,' and it's the stuff that gets a woman pregnant to have a baby." Who can remember the fifty questions he asked yesterday, let alone two weeks ago?

He said he wanted to make me feel that way. Did he enjoy the experience? Oh, yes. Best tasting stuff he ever had in his mouth; tasted like his dad; wanted as much as I'd let him have. After half a dozen times, the kid got pretty damn good. He learned real quick without me telling him what he could do to make me feel really good. I was getting sexually satisfied after many years of devoting my life to him and denying myself sex. I let him do it because the more I enjoyed it, the more he seemed to enjoy doing it for me. I didn't let him have it every night. I'd let him do it as a special treat for both of us; maybe something he did for me, his birthday, my birthday, holidays, or a Sunday afternoon if we were lying around not doing anything. It got to where he wanted to celebrate every damn holiday from ground hog’s day to arbor day. When he insisted on celebrating Cinco de Mayo and Bastille day I put my foot down." I heard my master almost choke on his beer laughing. So was Boots.

"Can't say's I didn't have some guilt about whether or not I was doing the right thing, Red, but I decided to let nature take its course. I'm not real sure any more what 'the right thing' means. What's right for one man may not be right for another. There's all sorts of variables. My guilt came from the fact I enjoyed it, and I was too weak to put a stop to it. I hadn't been with a woman in four or five years, so I wasn't as opposed to it as I might have been if I'd been with a woman at the time. Once in a great while, some master would take pity on me and order his slave to take me to his tent and give me a blow job. I always enjoyed getting my dick sucked. Didn't matter what sex it was. A warm mouth's better'n a cold hand. I had a feeling, though, if Sonny wasn't getting it from me he might try'n get it from some dirty, hard-nosed, uptight conservative, redneck biker. If Sonny ask to suck his dick, the guy might kill him. I seen it happen."

"Unfortunately, Boots, so have I," Red allowed.

"I told him as much as I knew about sex. When you try to explain it to a kid it makes you realize just how much you don't know. I talked to him about men and women, men and men, women with women, from the time he was about five or six, but never tried to make one more preferable than the other. I kept talking to him about sex from time to time so's he wouldn't learn it from some kid who would make him think anything he preferred was dirty or unnatural. If he had any questions he was never afraid to ask, and ask he did. My God, that kid would ask me the same damn question fifteen different ways to make sure he understood something completely.

"I had a chance to go with a woman after Sonny was sucking me off for about a year or more. Sonny knew what we were gonna' do. He told me to go ahead, it was all right with him. He understood I needed that, 'cause I weren't like him; but, he wanted me to know how much he loved and appreciated letting him have what he needed from me. I got cleaned up, was all ready to go meet this woman, went to tell him goodbye, hugged, and kissed him, told him I'd be back early and left the tent. I got all the way to my bike and discovered I forgot my wallet. I went back to get it, and found my boy with his face in a pillow sobbing his heart out. My kid loved his old man enough he wanted him to have what he needed. I realized, even though it broke his heart, he would've never said a word.

"I felt like a son of a bitch. I didn't know why at the time. I do now, but then I didn't. I only knew, I couldn't go with that woman if the continuation of the human race was at stake. I didn't think it would upset him. He seemed to encourage me to go with her. To an adult it could've been tossed off as a roll in the hay. To Sonny it was a major rejection even though he was trying to be grown up and let me go with his blessing. He provided me with sex, and I was exclusive with him for almost two years. What was I thinking? Of course he'd be upset and hurt. My unthoughtful actions said to him, 'Well, you're a great kid to get my rocks off, but I need more than you.' It would've been different if I'd put the kibosh on him sucking me off at the beginning. I didn't 'cause I was weak. I realized I couldn't do that to him. No matter how I loved him or he loved me, we loved each other and you don't do that to someone you love."

"Well, since we're being honest here," Red responded, "I did the same damn thing to that beautiful man playing pool with your boy. Worst mistake of my fucking life, Boots. Ordered him to go have sex with a good looking guy he befriended. He begged me not to order him to do it, 'cause he only wanted me, his master. I forced him to so's I could get my dick in this little scoot trash who was a true piece of shit. Cowboy came back to the tent earlier than I expected and found me fucking him. Never saw such pain and hurt in a man's eyes in my life, Boots. I saw my world crumbling before my eyes. He gave me another chance. Told me he didn't have a choice in the matter; God told him he had to swallow his pride and ride with me. I believe him. You'd have to know more about Cowboy to know why – so, you didn't go with the woman?" Booger asked.

"I sent a buddy to beg off for me, apologize and tell her my kid was sick, I had to stay with him. I took him in my arms, comforted him, told him not to cry, and I loved him. I wasn't upset with him, I just decided not to go. I guess it was at that moment I discovered I'd fallen in love with my own son. Ain't never been with a woman since, Red.

"That's quite a story, Boots," Booger allowed.


End Chapter 15 ~ Booger Red & Cowboy
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12/21/2015