brcb_12

Booger Red & Cowboy
Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 12

Ben surprised me by attending church with us on Sunday. I explained to him it was a family tradition to attend Christmas eve services. "Would you like to join us, Master?" I asked, knowing he was Muslim.

"I'd be honored to join you. Jesus is recognized by my faith as a great prophet and holy man. I enjoyed the services Sunday and the sermon by your Pastor. Yes, I'd very much like to go with you," Ben said.

It was a bone chilling cold night in Texas that Christmas eve. Our family piled into dad's big Bronco and headed for the church. Aunt Laura was already there waiting for us. It was so cold dad loaned Ben his big sheep-lined jacket. We hugged and kissed Aunt Laura and settled down in the pews. Shirley Grimes waved to me, winked at me and blew me a kiss from the new organ. She was thrilled with it. They rushed out and bought a new one and had it set up for Christmas eve. It was a beauty and sounded for all the world like a damn pipe organ. It sure filled our little church with beautiful sounds. It was incredible. I smiled, waved back and gave her the okay/thumbs up sign for the new organ. She smiled back real big.

I opened the bulletin for Christmas eve and there at the top was a thank you, Mr. Billy Gunn III 'Cowboy' from the Pastor, Shirley Grimes, and the church for the new organ made by the Allen Organ Co. They were so proud of it. Ben read it, too, and smiled at me with pride. The church was radiant. There were no lights, only candles everywhere. The women and kids of the church decorated it until it was a wonderland of greenery and red ribbons. I never saw our little church look more beautiful. Ben was impressed. His eyes got real big when he saw the wonder of the transformation from Sunday.

I explained to him about the Eucharist and the meaning of the sacraments. He was free to take them with us or decline. No one would say a word one way or the other. He chose to join us. He saw no harm in taking the Christian communion. He thought it was a wonderful sentiment and felt it an honor to participate. The service began and the children did a Christmas pageant that was charming, funny, and touching, complete with carols sung at the appropriate places. I was a bit melancholy as it was my third Christmas since I returned from Nam and my three friends were not here, by my side. I had to admit, I missed Red. Damn it, I loved the ugly old son of a bitch more than I wanted to admit. Having Master Ben next to me helped. Our legs were so close together I ran my hand to my side and between our legs. I soon felt his hand join mine and gently squeeze it. I felt kind of funny until I looked over and saw dad secretly holding Uncle Joe's hand.

I smiled to myself and thanked God for my family that Christmas eve. We were a rough looking crew. The only family there who had a wonderful black man as a member and an Arabian Prince next in line for the throne of a small but wealthy country. God truly blessed us with the best. When it came time for communion we knelt at the altar with dad in the middle, Joe and Lester on his right, me, Ben, and Aunt Laura on his left. In a symbolic gesture he encompassed all of us in his big arms for a few seconds and then joined in the communion. I lost it. I had tears in my eyes and looked to see there wasn't a dry eye among us. For once I didn't have to feel bad I was being overly emotional. It was one of the most moving and personally wonderful Christmas' I can remember.

I lost so much the last few years but I'd weathered the storm, come through it, started living again and gained so much in such a short period of time. It was a lesson to me to thank God for the here and now, to thank him for the past and those we loved and someday, hopefully, will love again. No matter what hand we're dealt, it's up to us to find the goodness and joy in life, recognize it, make it a part of us and return it to our Creator. All I knew was I survived and was thankful for my immediate family. I vowed sitting in that church surrounded by love I would stop being suspicious of God. I blamed him for taking my loved ones away. With the willing help of those who loved me, I would learn to trust again.

Besides, I came to the conclusion the Old Man loved Buck so much he wanted Buck to be with him. Sitting in church Christmas eve, I felt surrounded by God's love. I knew without a doubt in my heart, he would see to it Buck and I were together again someday. The Old Man understands love better than anybody. Hell, he is love. I even said a prayer for Red and a plea to empty my heart of hurt and pain. I prayed Red was somewhere warm and cared for. Yes, even in the arms of T-bo if that's what he needed. I felt bad we couldn't be together for Christmas but maybe that would cement a more solid bond between us in the future.

When the service was over, we left the church to a brilliantly clear sky. The night air was colder than an ice cream headache, but somehow, you didn't feel the cold so much. The warmth from the love in our hearts, the comfort of belonging, and the joy of association surrounded us with a warmth that stayed the chilled night from our bodies. We stopped and marveled at the canopy of stars. The dark background of a moonless sky made it truly a night of wonder. There was a great stillness came upon the midnight hour. There was no wind, nor air movement of any kind.

Soft winds swept the sky as if to make it ready for a king's ball. All its candles were lit. All its lanterns were glowing. There had never been such a night. On just such a night as this the night visitors, the Magoi, came from the East to pay homage to the birth of a very special child they were sure was a new king, a savior of humanity. They followed his star in the East. We had our own Melchior, a young prince from the orient far, a black man with the soul of a king, our own Balthazar, and my beloved, humble and devoted Uncle Joe as the retiring but ubiquitous Gaspard. Gaspard de la' nuit.

Last but not least, the old man who was the corner stone to the foundation of my life, my dad, was the tarnished, one winged angel everyone has on the top of their Christmas tree. Its seen a few rough years, but you don't dare get rid of it and get a new one. It would almost be like denying an old friend. Its always been the angel on the top of the tree for as long as you can remember, and even if it's tattered, a bit tarnished, with only one wing, it deserves that spot to shine its brightest once a year. It's earned it.

Once you place it at the top of the tree, plug in the lights, stand back to look, your heart leaps to your throat; suddenly, it's transformed from a rag-tag ornament to the most beautiful of angels and your heart feels glad you didn't replace it. Glad because of the grace it imparts to your being and you're blessed with an epiphany. It has become the angel of love, the angel of hope, the angel of comfort, the angel of belonging, but best of all, the angel of home, the true spirit of Christmas. My dad was that tattered angel.

A big, gruff, rough talking, kick-ass, West Texas cowboy angel, a bit tarnished, tattered, rough around the edges, doing his best to fly with one wing, but filled with the purest, most simple, uncomplicated love. He knew how to befriend his fellow man, give and receive love, and when called upon, shine his brightest. I came to love and appreciate my dad as I became an adult. We made the transition so many dads and sons fail to achieve. I no longer was his little boy, and although I respected him without measure, he was no longer the imposing authority figure of my youth. We progressed from father and son to friends. We became each other's trusted confidants and our love and admiration for each other grew steadily over the years. He became my rock and a never ending source of love and emotional comfort.

What I foolishly thought was his failure to be the dad I wanted as a kid, he more than made up for. I was forever short changing my old man. I wanted him to be what I thought I needed him to be. I was too young to understand he was exactly what I needed. He gave me the greatest of loves, unconditional love. I didn't see it or understand it as a kid, but it was always there, steady as a rock.

I just didn't know how to tap into it until I became a bit older. Once I did, it was like hitting a gusher. He left me alone to grow up to be my own man, but he was always there if I needed him. He provided for me and taught me the value of respecting others. He allowed me and my Uncle Bud to have a wonderful, close relationship without feeling threatened. What more could you ask from a parent?

Christmas morning our family gathered, had breakfast and started exchanging gifts around the tree which dad, Uncle Joe, and Lester got the week before. Ben asked dad to take him shopping one afternoon in San Antonio and bought gifts for us. I spent my spare time tooling a Western belt for Ben with his name on it. He admired mine and Phil's. I hid it in Lester's room and worked on it as I could. I finished it the day he and dad went shopping. It came out really nice. The best I ever made.

We had a great time exchanging gifts. My dad almost shit when he opened his gift and found a gold Rolex watch. Uncle Joe and Lester got the same gift from Ben. They were three matching watches engraved. From Ben with love, Christmas 1968. Dad got tears in his eyes and hugged Ben. Uncle Joe and Lester did the same. Ben gave me three beautiful Western shirts and a pair of Western boots. I handed him his gift from me. It was a small package and I began to feel bad I didn't spent more on him. He slowly opened it and pulled out the hand tooled belt and was speechless. He hugged me and almost got emotional. "You made this, didn't you, Cowboy?" he asked. I nodded affirmative, "It's truly wonderful. I'm so touched you thought enough of me to take the time to create this. It means more than you'll ever know, Cowboy. I'll cherish this for many years."

He put it on and it fit him perfectly. He had to find a mirror to look at himself. He was thrilled. My second gift to Ben was a pair of spurs that belonged to Uncle Bud. Aunt Laura gave me all his old western clothes, boots, and spurs. He had about five or six pair in all. I wanted Ben to have a pair of his spurs for the memory of him. Ben cried like a baby in my arms he was so moved. Dad, Uncle Joe, and Lester gave their gifts to Ben last. They surprised the Hell out of me and Ben.

Lester taught me leather work over the years. That's how I knew how to craft a belt for Ben. Lester, himself, was a fine leather craftsman. He handmade fancy western saddles in his younger days and taught me how to work with leather. He hand tooled a western cut, brown leather vest for Ben. Ben tried it own and it fit him perfectly. He shed more tears as he hugged Lester thanking him for such a personal gift.

Dad and Uncle Joe bought him a pair of bat-wing rodeo chaps and Lester tooled his initials on the bottoms. Ben was so excited and thrilled he had to try them on immediately. He looked great and hot, too. It didn't go unnoticed by my dad and Uncle Joe as well. I made him wear all that gear to bed that night. He proved to be one Hell of a buckaroo. Learned real quick how to use them spurs, too. Damnation!

It was one of the best Christmas' anyone could remember. Aunt Laura, Louise, Suzie, Phil, Wilma Jo, and the kids arrived and the women took over the kitchen to fix Christmas dinner for us. Ben and I tried to help, but they ran us out. Ben didn't know what to get the ladies so he gave Aunt Laura a gift certificate to the local department store for three hundred bucks. He gave Louise, Suzie, and Wilma Jo certificates for two hundred each. He and I went shopping together and he bought Phil the biggest damn Silver Belly Stetson you ever saw. I knew the size Phil wore and knew his taste in hats. The big cowboy almost shit his pants. It was an expensive hat. He was thrilled and hugged Ben in thanks. He hadn't expected anything from Ben nor did Wilma Jo. He gave Wilma Jo and the kids gift certificates for anything they wanted. Ben was a very generous man. He loved these folks who opened their hearts to him.

Christmas dinner was unbelievable. Ben couldn't believe the amount of food that came out of dad's kitchen. We were being sent down to the only little store in town still open for last minute things we hadn't thought about. We enjoyed it. It gave him and me a chance to be alone for a few minutes. He was having a ball. "I hate to bring up bad things, but that call from Harry a couple of nights ago was about a meeting I must attend in Los Angeles day after tomorrow. I'm afraid I only have one more day to visit. I need to catch a flight out by tomorrow night."

"Hell, Master, I'm just so grateful for the time we've had together that ain't bad news. You've been so generous with your time and gifts with us. Everyone loves you. I'll make arrangements with dad so I can take you to San Antonio tomorrow afternoon."

Ben ate like a condemned man and Christmas dinner would be his last. My dad thought it was wonderful and kept passing Ben the bowls. I kept telling him there was dessert, but that didn't slow him down. He ate two desserts as well. Women love any man who really enjoys their cooking. I asked Ben if I could reveal his true identity to the assembled since tomorrow would be his last day, and he agreed.

At the table, over coffee and dessert I asked Louise if she would like to tell her story of confronting me in the diner. She smiled, winked at me, and began. "Well, I know'd this handsome man weren't no friend of Billy's from Los Angeles, right away,” she said and slyly winked at Ben, “Besides, Billy'n me, we go back a long ways. Hell, me, Wilma Jo and him grow'd up together. We's in the same class all through school. He never could keep no secrets from me'n Willma Jo. We used to back him into a corner and tickle him until he agreed to tell us ever'thing." She and Wilma giggled, "I just put two and two together and confronted Billy the first day I met Ben."

Ben, me, Dad, Lester and Uncle Joe were laughing with Louise. Suzie still hadn't put it together. Phil and Wilma Jo were clueless. I told Aunt Laura, but she would have died before she told a soul. She was laughing as Louise told her story.

"Well, who is he then, Louise?" Suzie asked frustrated.

"He's the prince, Honey," Louise said. Suzie looked at Ben and me, and I nodded my head with a smile.

"Well, I'll be damned," said big Phil. "Hell, he sits a good horse for a prince. I just thought he was one of your rodeo buddies from California."

"Me, too," said Wilma Jo, "I hope you've enjoyed your visit, Ben. We've been real glad to have you with us."

"You folks don't know what it's like being in my position. I apologize for the deception, but these good folk, whom I now consider family, gave me a chance to relax, be myself and enjoy your company without putting on airs. I haven't enjoyed myself and had so much fun with a group of people in years. I love you all for letting me be me, for your kindness, graciousness, and welcoming me into your lives. Thanks, Louise for keeping my secret." Everyone was silent but there wasn't a dry eye in the room.

My dad broke the silence. "Ben, you're my son now, same's Billy. If you ever need us or need a place to escape to, our doors are always open for you. Never feel you have to ask, Son, just come on home. We've come to love you in this last week and you've contributed so much to our happiness this Christmas, that alone is your single greatest gift to us." Dad got up and walked over to Ben. Ben stood and dad hugged him. Everyone applauded as Ben broke down in my dad's big arms. I know how he felt, my old man had a way about him. The phone rang and dad went to answer it. I thought it was probably Red. Dad came back with a big smile on his face.

"It's for you, Cowboy," was all he said.

"Who is it, Dad?" I asked warily.

"It ain't Red, Son, go on, answer it."

"Hello," I said. There was an ominous, calculated silence on the other end of the line.

Then I heard a deep ominous voice, "When I get my hands on you, Cowboy, I'm gonna' turn you across my knee and not let you up 'til yore' pretty little butt is as red as Santa's cheeks and you holler 'calf rope'" I recognized the deep voice of my cowboy in Glen Rose, Leon. I started laughing and couldn't stop.

"You promise?" I asked laughing. "'Cause don't go gettin' my hopes all built up if'n you don't mean it," I said. He was laughing on the other end.

"I damn well mean it, you little shit. Cowboy, that bike has to be the nicest, most wonderful Christmas gift I ever received. Walker and Xander rolled it out of their garage this morning and gave me your card. I hope you're happy, I almost messed my pants. Walker and Xander couldn't stop laughing at me," he said and roared with laughter. I couldn't stop laughing at Leon.

"Do you like it, Cowboy?" I ask him shyly.

"Do I like it? No, I fuck'n love it! All the way down to the leather saddle bags Walker said you insisted on so's I wouldn't forget I'm a cowboy – your cowboy."

I was still laughing. Leon never said too much, but he was letting me have it. I loved it. It was worth every damn penny to buy him that bike just to hear such joy in his voice.

"When are we gonna' get to see you, Cowboy? I got more than a spanking to give you, Son," he said and laughed.

"I have a friend visiting the family for Christmas and I have to take him to the airport in San Antonio tomorrow afternoon. I'll come home, hop on my bike, and I can be in Glen Rose tomorrow evening late if'n that's all right with you and Master Walker," I said.

"No, wait until the next morning to start out. I don't want you on the roads over the holidays at night. I'd worry myself sick until you got here. Wait until the next morning early," Leon insisted.

"Okay, Cowboy, I'll see you good folks day after tomorrow. Love you, Cowboy, and Merry Christmas. Give my love to the two fine men who live in the big house. They were so wonderful to do that for me; tell them I really appreciate it and Merry Christmas."

"I will and I love you, too, you little shit. Ride safe, you don't wanna' be late for your spanking," Leon was enjoying himself and laughed hardy.

"I'll be there and take it like a man, Cowboy, I deserve it. Besides that, damn it, I need it!" I whinged. He laughed as he hung up.

It was the day after Christmas and Ben could only get a flight out to Los Angeles that left at noon. We got up early and the whole damn family wanted to go with us to the airport. Dad, Uncle Joe, Lester, me and Ben piled into dad's big Bronco and headed for San Antonio. Ben was quiet most of the way. We didn't take the back way through the hill country. We took a more direct route to San Antonio. We got Ben to the airport an hour before his flight left. He wanted us to go on back, but we weren't about to.

My dad wasn't about to leave him to wait alone. He was upset Ben was leaving. Dad didn't say anything, but he really meant what he said Christmas. He came to think of Ben as a another son, his second son, and it made me feel good. They called Ben's plane to depart for Los Angeles. Dad was the last to say his goodbyes, and he took Ben into his big arms.

"Ben, don't be a stranger. Even if the cowboy ain't in Mason and you need to get away, give us a call, and we'll be here to pick you up. You can go and do or hide out there at the house. No one has to know you're there. None of our town folk would say a word. They've all come to love you, and you'd be safer with us than in your own country." Master Ben got tears in his eyes again as he spoke to my dad.

"I will, Dad. Now I know how Cowboy feels when he talks about having more than one dad to love and how wonderful a feeling it can be. You have been wonderful to me, giving, caring and accepting me into your family. I love you, Dad."

"God, I love you, too, Son." My old man hugged Ben tight before he had to walk up the ramp to the plane. He turned, smiled and waved. We watched Ben's plane leave, and we headed back to Mason. It was a quiet ride. Even old Lester was a bit down in the mouth.

"That man has a way of growing on ya,' don't he?" Lester kinda sighed. Everyone was silent for a moment.

"He sure does, Lester, he sure does," I answered for all of us. "Dad, how long a trip is it to Glen Rose from Mason? Two hours? Four?" I asked Dad.

"I'd say it's about a four hour trip, maybe more, wouldn't you, Joe?"

"Yeah, about that. Four to six," Uncle Joe confirmed.

"I want to take off early tomorrow morning to visit the Johnson Ranch," I said.

"We enjoyed our visit with Walker, Xander, and Leon when we went to get Dolly and Madison. Best steaks I ever et, right Joe?" Dad asked.

"They were damn good, Son. By the way, that Leon is one mean looking hombre," Uncle Joe said.

"Yeah, I know," I said smiling sweetly. They laughed knowing exactly what I meant.

"Was that him on the phone yesterday, Billy?" Dad asked.

"Yes, sir, he called to thank me for his Christmas gift," I replied.

"Wha'd 'ju get 'em, Son?" Dad asked.

"A new Harley-Davidson. A full dress hog," I replied.

"Shit, I'd a' called you, too," Dad laughed.

"Hell, I'd a' called ju’ Santa Claus," said Lester. We all laughed.

"Yeah, he told me he was gonna' turn me over his knee and spank me good," I said.

"What a nice 'thank-you' idea. Yore' Uncle Joe seems to enjoy that ever now and then," Dad whooped. Lester roared. Uncle Joe just blushed a deep red color. Poor Uncle Joe, for all the shit my old man gave him, dad really loved him. Uncle Joe took the cue and let me be alone with dad that night. I didn't know if I was going to be back this way for a while and wanted to spend the rest of the holidays with the folks at the Johnson Ranch. They were so damn good to me this last year. Besides, I needed my cowboy.

I pleasured my old man that night until he swore his damn dick was going to fall off. I turned that old son of a bitch every way but loose. I was like a fucking octopus. Every time he even looked like he was thinking about getting out of bed he found another tentacle ready to pull him back in. He had to admit though, he got some of the best ass fucking from his kid he ever got in his life. He was hot, horny, and ready for some boy butt. I liked my new sober dad. He had the stamina of a Brahma bull. He fucked me three times that night and I sucked him off twice. It was like we were storing up for winter. We both felt the same way. We didn't know where life would take me next or how long it would be before we were together again. We were sucking up each other's love like two camels drinking at an oasis.

We got up early the next morning, and I decided to take my family to breakfast at the diner to say goodbye. I called Phil and Wilma Jo to join us and Aunt Laura. She declined, told me goodbye on the phone and thanked me for my Christmas gift. I thanked her for mine. We had a wonderful time at breakfast. Phil and Wilma Jo were sad to see me go, but they knew I'd be back. Louise and Suzie were in tears. Everyone seemed to know Billy was leaving this morning and had to hug me and wish me well.

Shirley Grimes, her husband Kurt, Pastor McCree and his wife June came down to the diner to have breakfast and say goodbye. It felt wonderful to be loved by a large number of folks in my community. Dad was so proud everyone thought enough of the Gunn family to come wish me well. Of course it got all over town my friend Ben was that "Prince" fellow whose life I saved. "He sure was a nice fellow," they all allowed.

It was a balmy morning when I pulled out of Mason on my bike. It was fairly warm and sunny, but there was still a winter chill in the air. Good weather to wear all your heavy leathers to keep you warm. I loved my leathers. There was something about them that kept my dick hard most of the time. Maybe, it was because the beast loved to fuck me while I was wearing them.

I couldn't get comfortable on my bike on the way to Glen Rose. Every time I moved, my sore asshole would complain. I'd just smile to myself remembering, then I'd get a roaring erection thinking about my old man up there inside of me root'n around for all he's worth. My old ass got to twitching so damn bad, on a lonely stretch of road I had to pull off behind a billboard and jacked off.

When my old man fucked me, I stayed fucked for several days. It's a wonder I could walk, let alone ride the damn bike. I got back on my bike, started off, hit another huge bump, hurt my ass like Hell, and got another roaring hard-on.

What the fuck's wrong with me? T'weren't me. It was that damn good fucking my old man threw in me. I loved that old son of a bitch with all my heart. They don't make 'em no better'n my dad. I'm proud to wear his name. After that, I found myself heading for the bumpy patches in the road to keep that silly smile on my face.

I rolled into Glen Rose about noon on a Thursday. I rode up in front of the Johnson Ranch and into the back. There was Leon's new Harley parked by the garages. Master Walker and Xander chose well. It was a handsome bike; made me dick hard. Hell, the crack of dawn would’ve made my dick hard that day. I parked by the side of it. Everyone came out of the big house to welcome me. Leon got to me first, grabbed me and spun me around as he hugged me. "Damn, it's good to see you, Cowboy. You little turkey, I should turn you over my knee rye-cheer."

"Oh, please wait, Stable Master, until I got my clothes off so's I can really enjoy it," I begged laughing. He kissed me instead.

"Cowboy!" Walker held his arms open for me. "Damn, you look so much like Bud. I know I tell you that ever' damn time I see ya' but it never ceases to amaze me. It takes my breath away."

"Me, too," said Xander. He hugged and kissed me. "Great to see you again, Cowboy. Glad you could come spend some time with us."

I went in and joined them for lunch prepared by a new French chef Walker hired, Andre.' I caught them up on everything including Ben coming to spend Christmas with my family. They were wowed the prince came to Texas to stay a week with us. I was tired of holding back about me and Red so I told them what he did to me. Walker was not pleased.

"Booger has to have something really bothering him for him to do something crazy like that. He was so in love with you when you left for Vietnam and searched for you continuously for months after you got back. After that night you opened up to us, we learned what you lost and were trying to heal from; I told Booger over and over to back off, be patient, give the kid some time. He didn't listen, he was sure he could help you.

“I think my boy, Wes, finally got through to him. We were all glad to hear you two finally got together and hoped everything would work out. Then we saw you and his picture in the papers when you saved the Arab Prince's life. We were worried about you because of all the blood on you. We could tell you were holding the other guy's wound, but it looked like he was more hurt than you. We called your dad and he said you were fine. We were so damn proud of you, Billy.

"I ain't real happy to hear this about Red, though. He shouldn't have mistreated you that way. It's not considered proper in our family for one master to judge another master unless one of them has done something that is so blatantly wrong. I don't know how many times Red told us and others if you would only be his slave he wouldn't need anyone else. His timing couldn't have been worse. You were just getting back on your feet again learning to trust. There were periods around here we were truly worried about you.

I think the turning point was the night you stood up and told everyone what you went through, what you lost, how everyone was lied to about what was going on over there. You started opening up after that, and it seemed like you slowly began to heal. We were encouraged you were gonna' make it. Then you began to help Wes and that's when you really began to come around, by leaps and bounds. Of course, credit has to be given where credit is due. Our Stable Master, here, for all his silence is a damn good listener."

"I wouldn't have made it if it hadn't a' been for you good folks and especially Leon," I said quietly, "Maybe my Christmas gift was a bit extravagant, but damn it, Leon, I wanted to do something special for someone who loved me enough to stop and listen. You did, by the hour, 'til I almost drove you nuts. That Harley's only a token of my debt to you," I said to the tall cowboy.

"Com'mere!" Was all Leon said, and I went to his big arms for him to hold me close. He put his big hand on my head and held it next to his heart as he embraced me. Then he gently kissed me on top of my head.

I showed them the ring Ben's dad gave me. Walker got the vapors and almost fainted. He knew good jewelry and knew immediately what it was worth.

"Your dad told me about the ring, but fuck, the stone alone is worth a million and a quarter, Cowboy, maybe more," he said, "You really shouldn't be carrying that around with you. It should be in a bank vault."

"Who would believe it was real on a biker bum?" I asked him.

"Someone who knows good jewelry, Son, and there are a lot of people out there who do, trust me." He made me think. "By the way, Red's called here about a dozen times asking if we heard from you. We hadn't. I told him the truth, but I knew exactly where you were. I didn't tell him, though."

"How'd ju' know, Master Walker?"

"I know who I'd run to if I had a dad like yours," he winked at Xander and they both laughed.

"I'll second that, Cowboy. What a fucking hunk your old man is and his partner, your Uncle Joe, is drop dead, good looking. Two fine looking cowboys," Xander raved.

"Yeah, they came to pick up Dolly and Madison a couple of months ago and ended up staying with us several nights. We really enjoyed getting to know them; they were great company. Your dad can tell some of the funniest damn stories. You could've left Dolly and Madison here. They were fine and Leon was taking good care of them. Hell, you sent us money to take care of 'em but your dad wanted to take them to Tucson to Dan Yates. We didn't try'n stop him 'cause we felt he was your dad and had your blessing."

"Well, I expressed to dad I felt kinda bad dumping them on you even thought I sent money for their care. They were just more work for Leon. I guess he took that to mean I'd like them elsewhere. Dan Yates, my dad and Uncle Joe have become great friends and have been visiting back and forth. Dan's been teaching my major competitors some excellent roping tricks. I'm glad they became friends. Dan needs the friendship and camaraderie dad and Uncle Joe can provide, but as a result, Dad and Uncle Joe have gotten so damn good at roping they waxed me and my partner, Phil Roamer's ass at our last two rodeos," I said. The three of them laughed, "I know Dan would love to have Dolly and Madison, so maybe it's for the best. It makes it awkward for me not being able to see Dan because of Red."

I spent the afternoon helping Leon clean out the stalls in the barn. It felt good to get outdoors and do some hard work again. We didn't talk much but there was a flow that went back and forth between us that said volumes. Every now and then he pretended to stumble into me, and I'd catch him to steady him. Of course he'd have to hold me in his big arms for a few minutes, hug, and kiss me to thank me. He didn't fool me for a minute.

Walker cooked steaks on the grill by the pool. We ate inside because it was still cold at night. Those steaks sure warmed me up. Walker handed me the key to my old apartment over the garage.

"We ain't moved a thing. It's just like you left it. I don't think anyone's been in there but Xander to clean it yesterday."

"Thanks, Master Walker, I'll throw my things in there, but I's a' hoping I might get me an invite to bunk it in with the Stable Master tonight. It's a cold night and he looks meaner than I remember. Maybe someone to keep him warm tonight might make him look a little more mellow tomorrow," I said with a grin. Leon reached over with his big paw and wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me to him.

"Sure sounds good to this old cowboy, I'll tell you," he allowed. We finished dinner, and I helped Xander clean up afterward. It was like old times being back on the Walker Ranch. I came to think on it as my second home. Walker, Xander and even Leon were so damn comfortable to be around. They treated me like family.

"What should I tell Red if he calls here again, Billy?" Walker asked.

"I'm tired of running, Master Walker. I wasn't the one what shit on him. I don't feel guilty. I have to get back together with him. I don't have any choice, 'cause it's what God wants. I don't want Red to know that. Tell him the truth. I'm here, and with your permission, I'd like to stay through New Years."

"Stay longer than that if ya'ount to, Son. You know you're welcome here, and I know the Stable Master would love to have your help."

"I don't wanna' involve you good folks in Red's and my quarrel. I'm gonna' get back on the road shortly after New Years. Tell him not to show up here, I'll find him on down the road, later. If he don't abide by my wishes and shows up here there's no chance of us riding together anymore. I need this time away from him, and he'll just have to cope with it."

"I don't think that's too much to ask of him. He was way out of line. In fact he told the story much the same way you did, and he told me what a fool he was to do that to you. I agreed with him. He said you begged him not to make you go with the other guy 'cause you only wanted him. He knows and admitted he told you the same thing when you got together. He's so ashamed about how he treated you, maybe this will be a lesson to him. Let's hope so. Do you still love him, Cowboy?" he asked.

I was silent for a long time.

"Silly question, weren't it, kid?" Master Walker allowed.

"T'weren't silly, Master Walker, but you already know the answer," I replied.

"Yeah, I do," Walker agreed as he sighed deeply in understanding.

Leon and I were getting ready to make the cold walk to his quarters over the stable when the phone rang. It was Red. Walker answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Yeah, Red, he's here. No, he's out in his apartment right now. We finished dinner, he was tired and went to bed. I don't think he wants to talk to you yet, anyway. No, he just got here this afternoon. No, no, I don't think that would be a good idea right now, Red. No, Red, that would be the wrong thing to do. You can't force someone to love you, Red. Put yourself in Billy's position. That kid has been through the tortures of the damned, to Hell and back. He was just getting back on his feet, reaching out, learning to trust again, gave you his love, dared to give you his trust and you fucked over him. He paid your price, Red, to ride by your side as your slave. He didn't hold nothing back. He was devoted to his magnificent beast. He's hurting right now and needs to be with people who love and care about him." Walker held the phone listening for a few minutes.

"I know you love and care about him, but coming here ain't the thing to do right now. He said to tell you he'll find you after the holidays sometime. If you try to come here and force the situation, I can guarantee you Cowboy will never ride by your side again. Because he told me, Red, and I can't blame him.

"Now y'ain't making any sense, Red. I don't wanna' be mean spirited, 'cause you and me, we go back a long way and been friends for years, but you're not welcome here as long as Billy's here and this thing between you ain't settled. If you try to come here, I won't let you see him, do you understand? No, he told me to tell you he was here. He didn't want me to lie to you. He's tired of running and hiding for something he didn't do. I, for one, am disappointed with you, Red. I've never known you to do something so inconsiderate or hurtful to anyone. You blatantly crushed that kid. What were you thinking?

“What do you mean, you didn't think he'd care that much? He loves you, you dip shit. You don't do something like that to somebody you love unless you wanna' take a major chance on losing them. Then if you do lose 'em, well hey, it was your choice to take the gamble. He walked out because you cut him to the core, Booger. I would a' done the same damn thing.

“To have a kid that damn good looking, devoted to you, love you, trust you, ride by your side, and be faithful to you, is the dream of almost every scoot bum out there. If nothing else, Red, have you considered that kid is only one year older than the legal age for drinking and you just expect him to understand something an older mature person might. Red, you're damn near twenty years older than that kid. You're not dealing with a fully trained, mature, seasoned slave who could accept that kind of shit as his master's right. He ain't been out there in the world long enough to understand. Besides you were the one who set the relationship up as one on one. You can't deny that. You told too many people."

Walker listened for a while. "I know it. Yes. Yes. Red, Goddamn it! Your acting more immature than the kid. At least he had the common sense to get away from a situation he was uncomfortable with." Walker continued to listen. "Look Red when everyone heard you got together we were all happy for you but I garan-damn-tee ya' I can name you nine men whose faces I watched registered disappointment it wasn't them he chose to love. They couldn't understand how it was ugly old Booger Red what got the pick of the litter.

“If Cowboy gives you another chance, you'll be the luckiest son of a bitch I ever know'd. I know. I know. I know. I know, Red! Well, if you call tomorrow I'll tell you the same damn thing, but if you're sober, maybe you'll understand better. All right, Red. Okay. You, too. Goodbye." Master Walker hung up the phone shaking his head. "He's been drinking," was all he said. I went to Master Walker and hugged him.

"Thanks, Master Walker, for caring about me. I feel good about telling him the truth. I don't think he'll come here. Red ain't stupid. He may be hurting, but he won't throw the baby out with the bath water. I don't think he wants to accept responsibility for what he did. I told him every tub has to sit on its on bottom."

Leon and I left after saying goodnight to Master Walker and Xander. I grabbed my bag from my bike and walked with the Stable Master, arm in arm, in the cold, still, night air to his quarters over the barn. It was cold, bone chillin' cold. We got inside and started up his little Franklin heater and in minutes the place was toasty.

I started looking around. He rearranged a few things. He put up a big cork bulletin board and filled it with photos. All of them were of him and me, I never knew were taken. They were great pictures. All taken by Xander with a telephoto lens. Xander has a fine camera with a zoom optic lens. He took pictures of us from far away, but we had no idea he was taking them. There were some great shots of Leon and I roughhousing, buck-ass naked in the river holding each other, cleaning out the barn, digging post holes, lying in the pasture, bare-ass, on a quilt to get some sun.

There was several of Leon and I making love on a quilt we'd thrown in the meadow. I remembered that afternoon. It was a warm early spring day. We got our chores done early and had nothing on the docket to do that afternoon. We went for a swim and lay out on an old patchwork quilt to dry and get some sun. When I'm around Leon and we're working I'm all business, but when we were by ourselves I couldn't keep my hands off him. Not necessarily anything sexual, I just wanted to touch him. We were way down in the low pasture, and we knew we couldn't be seen by anyone. I started rubbing his old back for him in the warm spring sun. He asked me if I was gonna' do the other side, too.

"Sure, roll over, Cowboy," I told him. He did and had the biggest old hard-on. I paid no attention to it, but I started massaging his chest and working down. I worked around his groin and inner legs and on down to his feet. I never saw a man keep an erection that long in my life. The next thing I knew my legs were over my head, I was being ridden like he was the pony express delivery man and he was late with the mail.

Damn, it felt good lying there in the warm sun getting fucked by his huge horse cock. He decided to get creative and see how many different positions he could fuck me. Every one of those positions were captured for posterity by Xander's telephoto lens. They were some hot pictures. I loved every one of them. Then there were shots of us lying there afterward, my head resting on his chest, his arm around me, me reaching up to give him a kiss. Damn, it was a unique photo-study of two men in love sharing a wonderful tender moment with each other. There were other pictures of him and me on horseback riding together; Leon and me roping in the arena; Leon and me kissing on horseback; on and on. They were hot, beautiful, and well done. There wasn't a bad picture in the bunch.

"Damn, Sweetheart, these be some fine pitchers," I said quietly. "I'm impressed!"

"Didn't know how you'd take to 'em, Cowboy," he said.

"I love ever’ damn one of ‘em. It shows two men enjoying each other and obviously sharing their love for one another."

"I knew you'd see that in the pictures same's I did. That's why I keep 'em up there. I look at them every night, and they make me happy." Leon took me in his arms and looked at me. "I still love you, ya' little shit," he said and nuzzled me with his mustache.

"I love you, too, Cowboy, you'll always be my cowboy," I told him.

"Billy, I loved my Christmas gift, but just having you here in my arms, with the thought of loving you tonight is the greatest gift you could a' brought me," he said. Leon kissed me gently but passionately. I responded in kind. I spent a night of bliss with my cowboy. He was better than I remembered. I lay in his arms afterward and again thanked God for friends like Master Walker, Xander, and Leon who I never had to worry about running to if I needed them.

I needed that week in the arms of my cowboy, Leon. There's just something about recharging your broken spirit with those who love you. It's like going to a pool and drinking deeply from the waters of life itself. They become your training wheels to get you back up and riding into the sometimes harsh reality of life. They help you get back on your horse after you've fallen off.

I worked my ass off with Leon that week taking care of some projects around the ranch that were put off because it required more than two hands to get them done. I certainly didn't mind. It was like the summer I spent mending my spirit. We worked well together, and we made love half the night. It seemed the harder we worked the harder we fucked. Leon knew I couldn't stay, would probably never be his, but that wasn't gonna' stop him from loving me while he could.

Master Walker and I taught him to ride his bike. He sat a good looking bike. He looked as hot on the bike as he did on a horse. He made one Hell of a mean looking, bad-ass biker. Master Walker, Xander, and I couldn't help but laugh with each other how mean he looked on that damn bike. He made Brando look like a sissy. We took a couple of short runs here and there to get him used to the road, and he took to it like a natural. He got to really enjoy the feeling of that big bike under him. The vibration would make him hornier than a bull let loose in a pasture of fresh heifers. I got the snot fucked out of me after those runs.

"Still glad you bought me that beast?" he'd huff and puff as he was enjoying gettin' some deep stuff in my ass.

"Best damn investment I ever made in my life, Cowboy. Come on, fuck me harder, show me how you ride a Harley, stud," I challenged him. He had to stop fucking me he was laughing so hard.

"You're no damn good, Cowboy," he said and laughed, "That's why I love you so much. You're my kinda people." Then he laughed harder and started fucking me again with a vengeance. He made it a good one for both of us. Thought I was going to start climbing the wall when he finally hit his and signaled me to get mine. Never been so completely drained by anyone in my life as Leon could empty me. He claimed I did the same for him. All I know was by the time New Years rolled around I was buffed again from working around the ranch and horny twenty-four/seven. Leon and I fit together like a hand in a glove. He claimed he'd never been hornier since riding that damn bike, and he loved it.

* * * * * * *
Red called almost every day. He'd asked to talk with me, and Walker wouldn't lie to him. Most times, I wasn't available but when I was, I'd shake my head 'no' and Walker would explain I wasn't ready to talk with him yet. Red called New Years eve, and I told Walker I'd speak with him.

"Howdy, Red," I said without nuance.

"Hey, Cowboy, how 're you doing?" he asked. Damn, just hearing that old man's voice got my dick hard.

"I'm okay, Red. How're you?" I asked.

"Miserable," he replied.

"Sorry to hear that," I said.

"Really?" he asked.

"You should have stopped with 'Sorry to hear that,' Red," I said then chuckled. He laughed nervously.

"Aww, come on, Cowboy, have a heart. I love you so Goddamn much I hurt when you ain't with me," he said.

"Gee, Red, the last time I checked I do have a heart, but somehow, it got broken. It don't work no more like it used to. It done seen the harsh realities of life. Hard to get a damaged heart working again, Red. You should know that," I spared with him.

"I do know that. What will it take to repair it? To patch things up between us? I'll do anything you want, anything you ask," he said.

"Where are you now?" I asked him.

"Fort Worth, in a cheap motel in hopes I can come see you," he replied.

"No, I don't want to involve my loved ones in our problems, so call me the day after New Year, January second, and I'll meet you somewhere on the road."

"Okay."

"But, Red...” I paused.

"Yeah, Cowboy?"

"It ain't gonna' be like it was. I may consent to ride and sleep with you, but I ain't calling you my master no more, and I ain't gonna' be your slave, until you earn my trust again," I said.

"Well, let's take it one step at a time," he said trying to evade the subject.

"You heard what I said, Red. Don't even get it in your head I'm gonna' change my mind. It won't happen. I won't trust you like that again, Red. You once put an ultimatum to me if I wanted you to be my master I had to meet your price. I met your price, Red. I gave you everything you wanted. You told me then you never wanted to love anyone else but your handsome young cowboy. Did you lie to me, Red? You insist on your slave being totally honest with you, but does that mean, as my master, you can demand things of me you don't have to live up to as well. Talk about your worthless contracts. I'd say your word is worthless. Do you deny saying that to me, Red?" I asked him.

"No, Cowboy, you're right, I said it," Booger replied with remorse.

"You didn't send me to slave training. I asked you to, but you felt I was a natural slave, who, with limited training from you would be all I needed. That was my master's decision. I let you make all our decisions, but you know what, Red, you never trained me to overlook you lying to me, being deceitful, or fucking a pig with the same big penis I made love to so many times. Somehow, I doubt seriously slave training is about a slave overlooking his master throwing all his trust out the window in one stupid action. Trust is a two way street, Red. We'll see if you really care enough to meet my price. Take it or leave it, is I believe, the way you put it to me."

"Just gimme' a chance, Billy, it's all I ask," Booger replied.

"Okay, I'll give you a chance," I said resolutely, "Give me a call the day after New Year's day, and we'll talk."

"I love you, Cowboy," Booger said in his deep gravelly voice.

"Yeah, well, we'll see how much you love my, want we? Bye, Red." I hung up the phone.

"Bravo!" said Master Walker echoed by Xander. "Couldn't have put it to him better myself, Cowboy. You didn't leave yourself open, and you gave him just enough. Good for you, Kid."

"Why do I feel so empty inside? I wanted to scream at him, 'I love you so much, you big ugly son of a bitch, why did you do that to me?' Then I realized there was no answer that would make me feel any better. He chose to do it, we both have to deal with it, but I don't have to sell my soul for his stupid mistake. If I let it be like it was, it'll say to him he can get away with doing it again to me."

"You feel empty 'cause the son of a bitch ripped your heart out, and now he wants everything back just the way it was. He knows it can't and won't be that way, and he's frustrated as Hell. He ain't ready to accept the fact he fucked up, and has to accept the consequences; there will have to be adjustments on his part. You're not ready to give him the same trust he enjoyed, and we can't blame you. Look, if he gets too tough to deal with, you're always welcome to run back to us, and I'll damn well see to it he don't bother you until this thing blows over between you."

"I appreciate that Master Walker, and I just might if I need to, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. Buck told me in a dream I had to ride with Red for some reason, and that's good enough for me. Buck told me it wasn't his idea. God wants me to be with Booger for some reason. Buck didn't know the reason, but said they would reveal it to me later. Maybe this separation will mellow him, and I can ride with him as a buddy." They looked at me, and each raised an eyebrow, to which I started laughing at my own naivete. "Yeah, who am I kidding?" I asked and we all laughed. “Hell, the reason I agreed to become Red’s slave is because he had a verbal contract with me before I went to Nam and because I felt like I needed his control in my life. Even my old man told me to take Booger for my master ‘cause he’d straighten my ass out. If I don’t let him be my master, I’ll be denying both reasons. Truth is, Master Walker, I need him as much as he needs me.”

“We know that, Son. Even old Leon knows it. He loves you beyond measure but he also know he ain't what chu' need. You need a strong, demanding master like Red,” Walker said.

"Tell me, Master Walker, I accepted Red as my master and I understand a master should have the right if he wants to fuck another slave. Should I have over looked it and swallowed my pride as a good slave? I tried to be a good slave to Red. I never denied him anything. I called him my master and showed him homage in front of our family and his biker buddies. I serviced him every time he snapped his fingers. Course I ain't saying Red wasn't easy to serve. I loved every minute of serving that big ugly beast. God, Master Walker, I love that man."

"Don't beat yourself up, Cowboy. You followed your heart and got away from a bad situation. Red set up your relationship and created the ground rules. A good master shouldn't break his own rules. If he wanted to fuck the guy that bad he could've talked to you first, set it up so you knew he was gonna' do it. He could’ve told you he expected you to be his good slave and ignore it. He didn't 'cause he knew you wouldn't go along with it. You're not a trained, imprinted slave. He can't expect that from you. He took a chance and fucked up. Furthermore, if you asked for training and he refused then it's up to him to train you the way he wants. You gave him the raw material. If he didn't train you to accept what rights a master has and how you should cope with it, then he's wrong. I can only compare my own situation.

"Zander was put through training. I think it's a mistake for a master to try and train their own slave. It should be done by a third party with limited ties with both the slave and master. I have never gone behind my slave's back to have sex with another man. Most times I include him, or I string him up and make him watch. Your Uncle Bud used to love to fuck Xander, and I loved to watch him. I think, only one time in all these years, I went with someone I didn't include my slave, but still, I was up front, and told him I was going to do it. Then after I did, I felt worse about it than he did. He ended up consoling me. Don't be too hard on yourself, Cowboy. You're a good kid, and it's only natural these things should run through your head."

* * * * * * *
Master Walker was planning a small New Year's eve party, and naturally Leon and I were invited. Some of their friends from Ft. Worth-Dallas area were driving to Glen Rose. Leon and I got dressed up in our best cowboy duds, and arrived shortly after all the other guests arrived. I had Western clothes spread all over the Southwestern United States. It was early evening, and the sun already set. All the guests arrived, I thought. Another truck pulled into the lot in front of the house. I didn't look to see who it was. The doorbell rang, and Master Walker asked if I would get it. I was glad to help out, and went to answer the door. There stood two of the best looking, hottest cowboys I ever saw. It was my old man and my Uncle Joe. They drove up for the evening, and to stay the night with Walker and Xander. Hell, they had plenty of room. They could even stay in my place, because I was staying with my cowboy.

Leon and I wore matching Western shirts; a touch that didn't go uncommented on by the randy group of men. My dad and Uncle Joe were in a party mood, but I never saw them take a drink. They were sober when they arrived, and they were sober at midnight. I was so impressed when my old man came to kiss me a Happy New Year, I got emotional. "I'm so proud of you and Uncle Joe." I whispered to him.

"For what, Son?"

"Being sober. I really like my new sober dad and uncle," I replied.

"Well, thanks, Son. So do we. We don't fight no more. We have better sex. We're better ropers, or do I need to remind you?" he asked with a wicked grin.

"Uh no. Been there, done that; you won, fair and square," I said.

I told him about my ride to Glen Rose, and having to stop behind a billboard. Thought my old man would bust a gut laughing. He thought that was the funniest damn story he heard in years. "Glad to know yore' old dad done you some good, Son," he said wiping his tears of laughter away.

"You certainly did, Dad. My ass was a mess," I assured him and grinned.

"I'll just bet that mean-ass looking cowboy's been doing you some good. Is he really as mean as he looks?"

"Meaner, Dad, much meaner. He's baaad to the bone," I said and we laughed together. He got my drift. "Funny thing is, Dad, Leon is probably one of the sweetest men you ever wanna' meet; that is, until you crawl into bed with him, then he changes into a dangerous animal. Much like you, come to think of it." I had my old man laughing so hard I thought he was going to have apoplexy.

My dad wanted to see my Christmas gift to Leon, and quite a few of the guests made the trip to Master Walker's garage to see his new Harley. Leon was so proud of his new bike. He was quiet, but you could see the way he touched it, it was special to him. I shared with dad how Leon was my rock. How he listened by the hour to any shit or thought that came into my head. He was my hero. There was no gift that could repay him in my mind. The Harley was only a token of my appreciation. Dad told me later he thought I done a good thing. He approved; he was proud of me.

It was a great New Year's eve party. Leon and I stayed close to each other. He knew I'd be leaving in a couple days, and wanted to feel as close as he could. I wanted him close to me as well. I loved the attention. He loved having me on his arm at the party, and I catered to him like he was the most important man in the world. He and I talked quietly, and left shortly after midnight to go have our own private rodeo in his quarters over the stables. We said our goodbyes to the hoots and hollers of all assembled,

"Y'all have fun, now, ya' hear," several yelled after us.

"Leon, may I ask a favor," I asked him before we left.

"What's that, Cowboy?" he asked.

"Would you be embarrassed, or would you mind if I ask my dad and Uncle Joe to walk back with us to see them pictures of us Zander took? Then I'll kick their butts out to be alone with you."

"No, I love them pictures. I'm proud of 'em. I wouldn't mind sharing with your dad and uncle," he assured me.

I told dad, Leon and I had something to show him and Uncle Joe in Leon's apartment over the stables. It wouldn't take but a minute then they could return and rejoin the party. Dad agreed and motioned to Uncle Joe. Then he mentioned to Walker he and Joe were going to walk us out to the stables to see something. Walker knew what I was going to show him, smiled and winked at Leon and me. We walked back to the stables climbed the stairs on the back to Leon's apartment. Leon banked the coals in his heater and it started up right away to warm the place. We no sooner walked in than dad and Uncle Joe headed for the picture board and started 'oohing' and 'aahing' over them.

"I thought you might like them," I said.

"They're fucking fantastic, Guys. Thanks Leon for allowing us to come out to see them," Dad said.

"Shit, Cowboy! These are the greatest pictures I've seen in a while. I hate to say something stupid, but I can't help it. These are pictures of two people who love each other very much. It comes through. Who took these?" Uncle Joe asked. That was a lot for Uncle Joe to express himself that way. I was glad to see him open up and speak his mind.

"Xander," Leon said, "Telephoto lens. We had no idea he was taking them. He was terribly apologetic when Walker made him show 'em to me. I loved them and asked for my own set."

"Would you guys have a problem if I asked him for a set for us? We think they're beautiful," my dad asked.

"I wouldn't care. You're welcome to 'em, Mr. Gunn. How about you, Cowboy?" Leon asked.

"Oh, Hell, no. I'm as proud of 'em as your are, Cowboy," I told Leon.

Dad and Uncle Joe thanked Leon for allowing them to come see the pictures, then hugged, and kissed me goodnight. Dad turned to Leon on the way out. "Tear off a big old piece of cowboy butt for me, Leon," he said and winked at the big cowboy. Leon started laughing and assured him he would. Leon was still laughing after they were gone.

"You have a great dad, Cowboy. He's a funny man. Kept us laughing when he and your uncle came for Dolly and Madison. I'm almost jealous of you growing up with a man like your dad. Wish't my old man had been like him. My old man was a withdrawn, sullen, bitter, old West Texas cowboy. You think I'm quiet? I'm a regular chatter box compared to my old man. I don't think he spoke to me more'n a dozen times my whole life. My mother died when I was about ten years old, and I stayed with him. I couldn't go to school, 'cause he didn't have no money to buy me any clothes.

“The only clothes I had were throw away stuff from relatives or stuff the welfare people gimme.' Most times we didn't have nothing to eat less’n I went out and shot something with his old rifle. I ended up taking care of him until I was old enough to leave. I withdrew into myself 'cause he never had nothing to say. I never said goodbye to him.

“One day I just walked away and never looked back. I don't know to this day what happened to him. Don't much care. I used to care about what I could've had, but that's useless. I didn't have it, so what? You move on. That's why I'm so quiet today. I find most folks talk too much when they should be listening a lot more."

"I love you, Cowboy," I said to Leon, "I'm glad you know how to listen. You save my life, Leon. Thank you for that," I said and stole a kiss.

"I know you got obligations and responsibilities, but having you here with me this week has meant more to me than you'll ever know, Cowboy. I was deeply touched by your present, the sentiment in your card, but like I told you the first night you got here, the best Christmas gift you could ever bring me was yourself. I love you, too, Cowboy, I always will." He hugged me, and I broke down in his arms because I knew the pain in the big man's heart; it was in mine, too. I was going to make damn sure our last couple of nights together were going to be permanently etched on both our minds.

“The entire time I was there at the Johnson Ranch, sleeping in Leon's arms, I didn't have one flashback. He almost acted like a tranquilizer for my soul. Sometimes I wish it were meant for Leon and me to be together, but I knew in my heart it was not to be. He did, too. He was the one who told me when I was staying on the ranch before. I agreed with him when he told me, "Let's love each other while we can." Leon and I crammed a lot of love into that week.

Leon and my paths crossed many times over the years, and we always had the same gut feeling for each other I never felt for any other man. We got together many times after that for a night together and treasured every one. I loved him then, and still love the man as much today. Today, he lives in an old miners cabin in the California desert with one of the best men I've ever known. With Leon's permission I laid my soul bare to his slave about what his master meant to me, and told him I was so glad he was with Leon. I'm happy for them. They're very much in love. They found their bliss

New Years Day we were up early. We Rodeoed in Leon's bunk 'til late, but we slept peacefully and felt good come morning. I did get to suck him off in the shower though, which sent him through the day with a smile on his face; not to be missed by my dad and Uncle Joe. They got to talk to Leon some and decided he was a fine man. Of course, Leon's opinion of me went a long way in that decision.

Dad asked Walker and Xander for copies of the pictures we showed them. Xander handed an envelope to dad with a set of the pictures before they left. They left to go back to Mason around noon, and we said our goodbyes. I told them about talking to Red, and I was meeting him tomorrow. Dad didn't seem too upset. I think he trusted me to do the right thing. He set a good example for me as a kid.

Uncle Joe offered a bit of sage advice. "Don't live with abuse, Billy. You don't have to. If he ain't serious, come on home. He'll have a Hell of a time finding you among the people who love you." I hugged him and thanked him for taking care of my old man all these years. I told him I loved him a lot. Uncle Joe got a little emotional.

I spent the last night with Leon, and once again we tried to cram as much love into a brief period of time as we could. I knew I'd see Leon again, but I didn't know where or when. Buck liked him. He told me so. He told me to thank Leon for him for taking care of me. I did, Leon looked at me funny and held me tight. He knew I wasn't kidding. Red called the ranch first thing early the next morning as we were having breakfast, and Walker handed me the phone.

"Hey, Red."

"Hey, Cowboy, did you have a good New Years?" he asked.

"Yeah, my dad and Uncle Joe drove up from Mason, and stayed the night. It was a great surprise," I said.

"Sounds like you had fun," Booger said.

"Yeah, it was nice. What's up?" I asked.

"You wanna' meet me somewhere?" he asked.

"Naw, just come on by here, pick me up, and we'll take off together. I talked with Master Walker and Xander, and they said it would be all right."

"Great, I'll be there in a couple of hours. See you then, Cowboy," he said.

"Okay, Red."

"I love you, Cowboy."

"Okay, Red, see you when you get here. Bye." I hung up the phone.

Leon and I said our goodbyes, and he left for the stables. He didn't want to be around when I took off with Red. I could understand, 'cause I didn't want to have to wave goodbye. I loved him too much for that.

Red arrived, hugged, and kissed me. I responded, but was not as warm as I could've been. He said 'Hello' to Walker and Xander, had a cup of coffee, and apologized to Walker for being drunk when he called. I had my stuff on my bike, and we took off. He wanted to know where I wanted to go. I told him I wanted to go to Los Angeles to visit Tim, Master Jeb, and Master Jim. I also wanted to visit with Wes and his new master. I don't think Booger heard Master Earl bought Wes. I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. I was so happy for them. Whoever arranged that pair should get a gold medal. I'm sure it must have been Master Jeb. Walker and Xander couldn't have been happier for Wes.

They thought Master Earl was tops in their book. So he was in all our books. I once spent an evening in his arms that summer at the ranch, and knew I couldn't spend another. Not because he wasn't some of the finest, most loving sex I ever had, I just knew myself well enough to know I would have fallen head over heals in love with the man, and I had other commitments to consider.

As a result, I was facing a new conundrum in my life. I found myself trying to weigh the failure of the man against my unbridled passion and my deep seated need for my magnificent beast. I was disheartened and confused, but I was not maudlin nor would I ever again bargain away my sense of self-worth. I didn't know what the immediate future held for me with Red. I had an idea it might not be pleasant. I was hoping for the best, but I was dreading the worst.

End Chapter 12 ~ Booger Red & Cowboy
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12/20/2015