TEXAS LONGHORNS
By Waddie
Greywolf
Chapter 6
“I apologize for getting so worked up, Son, but chu’ know my anger
ain’t directed toward you,” Dad said softly to Dwayne. Dad was
standing behind us and put his hands on Dwayne’s shoulders. Dwayne
looked at me like he didn’t know what to think having my dad touch
him and was looking for my approval. I smiled and winked at him to
relax. My old man was just trying to show him a little comfort.
“That’s okay, Mr. Longhorn. It just means you care enough about me
to get upset, and that makes me feel good, sir,” Dwayne replied.
“I do care about you, Dwayne, more'n you and Casey can know about
right now. Hell, we all care about you, so fasten your seat belt,
you may hear me get my dander up again before this evening’s over.
Spence?” Dad questioned Mr. Winchester if he wanted to take it
from there.
Mr. Winchester paused for a minute, went to the table where he
kept his Scotch and poured himself another two fingers. “I agree
with everything Mr. Longhorn said, Son. I just want to add a few
things. Dwayne there’s a couple of things you have to understand
about yourself and what the Colonel’s trying to do to you. First
of all, are you aware you’re a minor under the legal age to have
sexual relations with an adult of either sex?” Spense asked.
“Yes, sir, Mr. Winchester, Casey and me, we done talked about it
today,” Dwayne replied.
“Before I get in too deep, let me lay some groundwork so we’ll
have something we can refer to and build on. Son, I’m gonna’ ask
you several questions, and I want you to think about them before
you answer. Some of my questions are going to be very personal.
I’m asking you to have unconditional trust in the three of us.
Answer as truthfully and as honestly as you can no matter how
embarrassing it may seem to you. Whatever you tell us won’t go
beyond this room we promise you. Take a deep breath. Ready,
Dwayne?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I want you to think about before all this started with your
step-dad. Other than masturbation have you ever had sexual
relations with anyone, male or female before him?”
“No, sir.”
“Do you masturbate regularly?”
“What da' ya' call regular, sir?” Dwayne ginned at Mr. Winchester.
“Okay, fair question. On an average, how often do you masturbate
per week?” Spence asked.
“Uh, is per day, okay, sir?”
Spence laughed and nodded his head.
“Three to five times a day,” Dwayne replied.
“Is that all?” I asked Dwayne with disdain. “What a lightweight.
Hell, I get that many in before breakfast,” I bragged, laughed,
placed my elbow into Dwayne’s ribs, balled up my hand and hit it
with my other so it would pound my elbow into him. Dwayne
grimaced, then laughed at me. Spence shot a glance at my dad. My
dad grinned real big, shrugged his shoulders, shook his head, then
started laughing. Mr. Winchester had his elbow on his desk, put
his forehead in his hand, looked down at his desk, and laughed
with his brother.
Then he feigned seriousness for a moment, and shook a finger at my
dad. “Don’t chu’ laugh at them boys. Don’t chu’ do it, Vince. We
were just as bad, and you know it, Cowboy,” he mockingly chastised
my dad. They roared with laughter. “Lord, where does it go, Vince?
We’re sorry, Son, we ain’t laughing at you, we’re laughing with
you. I wish I still had a tenth of the sex drive I had when I was
your age. Okay, you answered me honestly and that’s good. Somehow,
I just know you told me the truth,” Spence said and laughed again.
“This is a very important question, Dwayne. From your earliest
recollection do you remember whether you had a sexual preference
for men or women?”
“Sometimes I thought I really like girls, Mr. Winchester. I’d see
a really pretty girl, I’d wonder about her body, and how it might
feel next to mine. My old dick would get hard, and I’d have to go
jack-off. Then other times I’d see a really good looking man, like
Mr. Longhorn, or another guy my age, like Casey, and think about
what it might feel like to be with them, make love, and share sex.
I’ve jacked off imagining I’m having sex with girls, and other
times I jack-off dreaming about holding my brother here and having
sex with him. It was about fifty-fifty until the Colonel started
raping me. Now, all I can think about is lying down with my cowboy
brother next to me, sir.”
“For the life of me, I can’t understand why,” Mr. Winchester
tossed off with more than a bit of sarcasm in his voice. He winked
at me and grinned wickedly. My dad and Dwayne thought that was
super funny. “Okay, Son, that gives me something to work with.
Outside of the men in this room, can you think of any man you’ve
had serious fantasies about having sex with?”
“Yes, sir. I done told Casey already. That 'ud be my dad, sir.”
“That’s understandable. How do you feel about being attracted to
men?”
“Like, maybe I shouldn’t have those feelings. Like I’m being a bad
boy, or I’m liking something different from everybody else.
Sometimes I feel like there’s something wrong with me, and I’m not
as good as other guys, because I can’t seem to make up my mind
which I like better. Sometimes I feel guilty, ‘cause I think my
dad would want me to be straight, like sex with girls, grow up,
marry, and have a family.”
“Are you sure that’s what your dad wants for you, Dwayne?” Spence
asked.
“Naw, sir. Ain’t never talked to my dad about that sort of thing.
Never had the time when I was with him. I don’t know, he probably
wouldn’t care if I turned out to like men better’n women. I think
he loves me an awful lot, and it eats him up he can’t be with me
or see me more often. I love him so bad it hurts sometimes, Mr.
Winchester. Since my daddy's been gone there's been an emptiness
in ma' gut what I'm always aware of. When I'm afraid or feel all
alone I actually hurt for my dad. Naturally, I want to be a good
son and please him. I just thought if’n I’s straight and have a
family, it might make him proud of me. I love him so much, Mr.
Winchester, I just wish it‘ud been me what sucked him off instead
of our ranch hand. By the way, mom never fired old Frank, the
cowboy what sucked my dad’s cock. He’s still work’n for my
step-dad, but I know my mom ain’t never told the Colonel he was
the one she caught with my dad’s penis in his mouth.”
“Hum, that’s very interesting, wouldn’t you say, Vince?” Mr.
Winchester asked my dad.
“Yeah, it surprised me when I first found out about it. I wondered
about why she kept him on, but I know’d Frank as many years as I
know’d Dwayne’s parents. Old Frank may be a rounder, but he’s a
damn good hand. Good hands are hard to find. A man’s gotta’ love
being a cowboy to work so hard for so little pay. Frank’s honest
to a fault and works hard without a lot of supervision. He’s
worked for me any number of times over the years. I always know
when I hire Frank to to a job it'll be done right the first time,
and I'll get more'n my money's worth from him. Frank puts in a
good day's work for his pay. Can’t say that about a lot of men.
About a year after it happened, Dwayne’s mom, Sadie, hired Curly
Blake. I don’t even think Sadie knows Frank and Curly bonded and
are now a couple. They have been for sometime. Curly ain't the
kind of man to share partners. He don’t like Frank playing around.
Too bad,” my old man got a wicked grin on his face, “old Frank, I
swear the man could suck chrome off’n a bumper hitch,” Dad
declared, winked at Mr. Winchester, and we all laughed. I just
knew Dwayne loved that. It was another one of my old man’s off the
wall comments.
“Moving right along, when you feel like you’re not living up to
what you think your dad might want for you, can you find a word
for it?” Mr. Winchester asked Dwayne.
“Rotten; lousy; unworthy; ashamed, less than a man.”
“Good, Dwayne, that’s good. Have you ever seen a toy – I think
they’re made in Russia somewhere – they’re small, round,
egg-shaped dolls, five to ten of ‘em, each one is a different size
and they fit inside each other until there’s only one?”
“Yes, sir, my mom has one she got from her grandmother. She’s
show’d it to me several times, but she never let me touch it. Says
it’s a hair-loom,” Dwayne replied. Mr. Winchester smiled but he
didn’t correct my brother.
“Okay, Son, think of those words you just said like them Russian
dolls and see if you can think of one word to put them all
inside.”
Dwayne thought for a moment then his face brightened. “Guilty?” he
said.
“That’s the word, Son. I think you even used it a while ago when
you said you felt guilty because you were afraid you might not be
living up to what your dad might want for you. Would you say
that’s how you feel when you think about having sex with men, in
general?”
“Yes, sir. I feel guilty because sometimes I think I shouldn’t be
think’n that away.”
“Why do you think that is, Son?”
“I don’t know, Mr. Winchester. Maybe it’s ‘cause most folks tell
you it ain’t right, it ain’t natural, or it’s a sin. I listen to
them preachers on T.V. what yell and scream about going to Hell if
you have sex with another man. They scare the shit out a’ me
sometimes, sir. Lord knows, I don’t wanna’ go to no place like the
Hell they talk about, but sometimes I jes’ can’t help what I think
about while I’m jacking off. I don’t worry about it none, until
after I get my rocks off, then I feel guilty as Hell. I wonder if
God and Jesus can see me and if they’s gonna’ send me to Hell
‘cause I thought about make’n love with my brother while I whacked
off.”
“I seriously doubt a God of love would condemn you to Hell for
think’n about loving your brother, Dwayne. Okay, we’ve established
you feel guilty about your feelings for men. Anything else?”
“Naw, sir, except, I guess I’m really screwed up, Mr. Winchester,
‘cause I feel just as guilty when I jack-off think’n ‘bout a
girl.”
“No, Dwayne, you’re perfectly normal. You’ve never been told how
to feel or had anyone talk to you about masturbation, so feeling
guilty is a natural thing. You ain’t alone, Son. Lot’s a’ kids
feel guilty every time they masturbate. Like you, it doesn’t
matter which sex they’re thinking about, they still end up feeling
guilty. You’re a bright, intelligent young man, Dwayne, but you’re
also confused; however, you were confused before your step-dad
came into your life. You can’t understand why your mom would
divorce your dad and keep you and him apart, why she would try to
keep him from being your dad over something as simple as another
man sucking his penis. Is that right?”
“Yes, sir. You just described me me pretty well, Mr. Winchester.
It's like you know me.”
“Only from observation and what you’ve told us, Dwayne. Then,
Colonel Dunbar marries your mom and tries to replace your dad,
first as a husband to your mother, then as a dad to you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“All this time you haven’t been getting much love or understanding
from either your mom or step-dad, have you?”
“I ain’t really thought about it much, but yore' right, sir. I
ain’t real sure my mom even loves me anymore. I know she don’t
know what he's done to me, but I feel bad towards her because she
married him. In a way, I feel like it’s her fault. I’m sure the
Colonel don’t feel no love for me. Hell, you don’t love somebody
you consider less than a piece of dog shit,” Dwayne said and
choked up.
“And, I take it, the person you love most in the world, your dad,
seems impossible for you to be with. You feel pretty much alone in
the world, right?” Spence asked.
“Yes, sir. If’n it weren’t for Casey, I think I would’ve run away
or committed suicide. I been thinking about it a lot lately.”
“I assure you, Son, that won’t be necessary. Try not to even think
about it. If you do and need to talk, either Vince or me are
always around. We’ll drop whatever we’re doing if you need help.”
Dwayne started crying, and I put my arm around him to comfort him.
Spencer Winchester’s words were getting to him.
“All right, you’re worried because you feel like you’re beginning
to like or enjoy the Colonel’s abuse, is that right?" Spence
asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Other than the sexual excitement his actions might provide you,
can you think of another reason why you might like it?”
“Naw, sir. Not right off hand,” Dwayne slowly answered.
“Think, Dwayne, what is he providing you, you can’t find anywhere
else in your life right now?" Mr. Winchester pressed.
Dwayne looked at me. I had an idea what Spence was getting at, but
I knew it had to come from my brother. Spence was waiting for him
to discover his own feelings. Suddenly Dwayne looked up at Mr.
Winchester and paused for only a moment. “Attention. He’s showing
me attention.”
“Exactly, Dwayne. He’s showing you attention, and somewhere in the
depths of your mind you’re relating it to love; however, there’s a
bit more to it than that. How does it make you feel when he calls
you queer, homo, cocksucker, and faggot?”
“Dirty, like I ain’t worth a shit.”
“Of course it does. It would make anyone feel small, dirty, and
helpless. You’ve told us you’re really beginning to like the sex
he forces on you. I’m not looking to demean you, Son, or debase
you in any way, but which one do you like better, sucking him off
or getting fucked by him?”
“Both, about equal, sir, but I probably enjoy him fucking me a
little more.”
“How do you feel about the enjoyment you feel while he’s fucking
you?”
“Guilty, dirty, ashamed, because I’m enjoying what he’s doing to
me, but I don’t want to be enjoying it. It just ain’t right. I
know it ain’t right. If’n I was with someone I wanted to give
myself to, maybe it would be different. Goddamn it! I don’t wanna’
give myself to him, Mr. Winchester. He ain’t worth it. He ain’t
got the right to be doing what he’s doing to me. Hell, I’d even
give it to up to him if he showed me the least amount of affection
or respect. He could have my soul on a bun with a larger order a’
fries on the side if he just showed me a little love,” Dwayne
yelled through his tears. He was almost hysterical.
“Go on, Son! Get it out! We love you, Dwayne. No matter what the
Hell you say we ain’t gonna’ turn away from you.”
“Oh, God, Mr. Winchester,” Dwayne wailed, “he knows he don’t have
to love me none. He can take it from me and make me enjoy it any
time he wants. He has a strong power over me. I'm drawn to him
like a damn moth to a flame. He can make me love him. He can suck
it out of me like a Goddamn vampire, but he don’t have to love me
back. He knows he can control me like his puppet. He knows he can
pull my strings and have me begging for more any time he feels
like it. I’m ashamed to tell ya’ll this, but sometimes, when he’s
through with me, I fall at his feet, kiss his boots, and beg him
to take more of me. I feel so cheap telling you this, but when I’m
with him, I just can’t help myself. It's like I'm addicted to a
strong illegal drug. I'm hooked on his abuse, and I don't know if
I can give it up.”
I was beginning to get a bit uneasy. Poor Dwayne was sobbing his
guts out. It was like he was vomiting his soul out of his body
before us.
“Go on, Dwayne!. Gut it out, Boy! You can do this. You’re almost
there.”
“I don’t wanna' love him, Mr. Winchester, but I feel so damn good
and wonderful after he fucks my ass, or when he fucks my
face hard and I get him off. When he finally broke me, and I just
started doing what he wanted, I found myself working hard to
please him just to get him off as quick as possible. I would feel
so fuck’n dirty and guilty afterward. Lately, I find myself trying
to work harder to please him longer. I don’t want him to come too
quickly. God help me, Mr. Winchester, I want to please him. I want
to give him pleasure. When I do and he comes in my mouth or up my
butt it’s like I know I really pleased him.
"He don’t never tell me, but I know. Something comes over me, a
feeling what’s almost better than getting my rocks off. I don’t
know how to describe it, but I’m beginning to think it’s
powerfully addictive. All I know is I want more. I want more of
him. How can I hate what he’s doing to me and still want him so
bad? I only know I want more of it. I have to have it. He don’t
never let me come. One time I couldn’t help myself, and he made me
lick it up off the floor of the barn. Then he laughed at me and
told me, ‘See, you little faggot, you have no control over
yourself. You’re so fuck’n queer you can’t even keep yourself from
coming when you’re servicing a real man.’”
My dad was leaning forward with his arms on his legs, his hands
clasped together, his head hung almost between his legs. I could
see his back moving in jerks and knew my dad was sobbing his heart
out listening to Dwayne.
“One more step, Dwayne, and you’re home free. Can you describe for
me the wonderful feeling you have after you’ve worked hard, done
your best to please him, and successfully bring him to climax?”
Spence asked.
“I feel like what he made me do was wrong, but I feel free. I feel
more alive than I ever have in my life. I feel wonderful I could
do it for him, I could make him feel good enough to come in my
body, but he made me do it, I didn’t have no choice in the
matter.”
“What feeling is missing, Dwayne, when you feel that way? There’s
one feeling missing. What is it, Son? Tell us,” Spence asked
almost like he was demanding an answer.
Dwayne hung his head, his body racked with heavy sobbing. He was
inconsolable. I put my arm around him again and he leaned into me,
crying in my arms. I felt it through his body, I knew before dad
and Mr. Winchester, my brother made a major breakthrough. All I
could think of was, ‘Thank God, for the big man before me, who, at
that moment, had the countenance of an angel. Spencer Winchester
positively glowed. He was anticipating Dwayne’s epiphany.
“Guilt,” whispered Dwayne when he got himself together.
“Once more, Son, please.”
“Guilt, Mr. Winchester.”
“Congratulations, Son, you’ve just figured out why you want to go
back for more. You know what he’s doing ain’t right. He makes you
feel dirty and guilty when he forces sex on you, but wait a
minute, when you finally give yourself to him, because you have no
choice in the matter, you do your damnedest to please him; you
really get into it, give it your all, you’re really enjoying the
feel of his big mature man's penis down your throat or up your
butt; then bamm, he shoots his load and you feel great. Why?
Because you pleased him. You provided him with pleasure. You have
his approval for your efforts up your ass or in your stomach. You
have his love. Better yet, you have his power. You’ve taken it
away from him. You momentarily have his power inside you and best
of all, the most powerful and addictive of all, it’s guilt free.
"He’s essentially taken away all your guilt by forcing sex on you.
Even though you enjoyed the Hell out of it, you weren’t
responsible for your own actions. He made you do it. You feel
free, because it wasn’t your fault. You’re soul is blameless, your
heart is at rest, and you are so right, Dwayne, the feeling is
very addictive. You can’t get enough. Many folks live their lives
and never understand the simple fact you just figured out for
yourself. Ya’ see, Son, there’s so much more to sex than just
getting your rocks off, but I don’t have to tell you that, do I?
You already know. Even though the Colonel doesn’t let you
ejaculate, you know the feeling I’m talking about. Down deep in
your gut you know you have to have more.”
There came a quiet knock on the door. Mr. Winchester hollered to
his wife to come in. Donna Winchester opened the door, “Dinner
will be ready in fifteen minutes, Gentlemen.”
“Thanks, Darling. We’re almost through for now. We’ll be right
there,” Spence said. Donna closed the door, Spencer went to my dad
and put his hand on his back.
“You all right, Brother?” Dad raised his head and didn’t make any
attempt to hide his tears. Spence handed him a couple of tissues.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, Spence.”
“Okay, we’ve reached a breakthrough point. Time to set it aside
for now. I want you to think about what we talked about this
evening, Dwayne. I want you to talk with Casey and Vince. Don’t be
afraid to tell them anything. They’re your friends and after
tonight, I have a feeling you and Casey are going to be a lot
closer,” Spence said, smiled, and Dwayne blushed. “Share love with
your brother tonight, Son, with our blessing. Learn from Casey. He
has a big heart. There’s plenty of room for his brother. Lean on
him and his dad. Then let’s talk again toward the end of this week
or over the weekend. You have one more door to open, but you’re
standing on the threshold. Take Casey’s hand and he’ll lead you
through it. The worst is over. Although you may not comprehend
everything that went on here this evening, bits and pieces will
start to fall into place until the puzzle comes together into a
picture you can deal with. You may feel overwhelmed, but don’t
worry about it. Don’t try to figured everything out overnight.
Give it time. It will come. More importantly, remember, we love
you, Dwayne.”
Dwayne stood and went to Spencer Winchester’s big arms and shed a
few more tears. Dad and I talked later and decided they were tears
of relief and joy. My brother had folks who cared about him. Three
strong, good hearted men who cared enough to help him through his
darkest hour. His heart was at peace for the moment.
* * * * * * *
Dinner with the Winchester’s was always a treat. Before we sat
down to dinner we held hands and Spencer said a blessing. I’m sure
Dwayne’s parents never said grace before dinner from the way he
held my hand. I could feel it coming through him he was deeply
moved by this simple but meaningful ritual. Donna Winchester
cooked a wonderful meal. Talk around the table was general, about
upcoming rodeo’s and sports events Dwayne and I would be involved
in. Nothing further was said about anything we discussed in Mr.
Winchester’s office. I think Dwayne was a little relieved to let
it rest for a while. I could feel his excitement growing as it got
near the time for us to leave. We said our goodbyes, thanks, and
promised we’d see them soon; either at their place or ours. After
we got home, Dwayne and I had homework to do for a couple of
hours. Dwayne was a good student and when he put his mind to
studying that’s what he did. I was through with my work before him
and sat watching him as he finished. Dad came in to join us before
he went up to bed.
“You two through with your homework?” he asked.
“I finished a while ago and Dwayne finished just a minute ago,” I
replied.
“Dwayne?” Dad barked at my brother.
“Yes, sir, Mr. Longhorn?”
“Com’mer, son,” Dad said and motioned for Dwayne to come to him.
Dwayne moved toward my dad. Dad stood, threw his arms around
Dwayne, and held him close. “Proud of you, Boy. Damn proud.
Proud enough to think on you as my own boy. Spence was right, Son,
you can lean on Casey and me. You don’t have to go through this
alone. You be good to your brother tonight and treat him right.
Spence was right about another thing. Casey has a big heart and
there’s plenty room for you. So move on in and make yourself
comfortable. You’re always welcome here.”
I could see tears in Dwayne’s eyes as he spoke to my dad. “Thanks,
Mr. Longhorn, I’ll do my best by Casey. I love him, Mr. Longhorn.”
“I know you do, Son. Now, tonight’s a school night so I want you
two to git on upstairs, take your showers, and go to bed. I
certainly don’t expect you to go to sleep right away, but just
remember to be responsible. Morning comes early around here.
Casey’s got chores to do in the morning before he goes to school.
I love you, both. Gimme’ a hug and a kiss, Case.”
I hugged and kissed my dad. We lingered in our kiss a little
longer than normal. I wanted to thank him. He felt it and let me.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Be good to your brother, Honcho. Now, go on, off with ya.’”
Dwayne saw the exchange between me and my dad and if there was any
lingering doubt in his mind, it vanished at that moment. He had a
warm smile on his face as I joined him to go upstairs. Dwayne and
I showered together. He was a little hesitant at first. “We shower
together all the time at school. What’s different here?” I asked.
“It’s your home, Case. The showers in the locker room are much
bigger.”
“Yes, and the shower is smaller here. All the better to grab me a
big-ole hand full of bubba butt.” I laughed at him. Funny, we
never had a problem after that. We toweled ourselves dry. I dried
Dwayne’s back, and he dried mine. “Before we go to bed, Bubba, I
gotta’ check on my dad. He sometimes needs assistance getting in
and out of the shower or taking his legs off. I won’t be but a
minute, so watch T.V., play a game on my lap-top, but don’t chu’
dare play with yourself,” I said, winked at him, and added, “Been
think’n on gettin’ me a big-ole taste of my brother all damn day.”
“Don’t have to worry none about that, Case. I just hope I can be
good for you.”
“Now, cut that out, Dwayne. There ain't no doubt in my mind you’re
gonna’ do jes’ fine. We’s buddies, Dwayne, brothers, top guns in
school. We been great together since we met in the first grade.
This is just another step, Bubba. I want you to think about
something. You’re the first person other’n my dad I’ve ever shared
a bed with. From what you told us tonight, I’m the first for you,
other than Colonel Jar-head raping you. We’re starting out on
equal footing here.”
“Not quite, Case. You got an advantage, coming to me from a rock
solid foundation of love. I’m coming to you as an emotional
cripple.”
“What are brother’s for, Bubba? Didn’t you hear what Spence
Winchester told ju’? Trust yore’ brother, he’ll take you by the
hand and lead you through this,” I took Dwayne in my arms and held
him tight. He shed a couple of tears, but that was all right. He
damn well deserved to shed a few. I was determined to make it
right for my bother. “I’ll be back in a minute, Bubba.” I left
Dwayne going through my lap top and walked to my dad’s room. His
door was open, but I knocked lightly before entering.
“Come,” he said then added, “since when ju’ decide to start
knock’n 'afore coming into our bedroom, Honcho?” he asked and
grinned at me. He was sitting in his favorite chair reading a
ranch magazine.
“Since when did you decide to start calling your bedroom ‘ours’?”
I mocked him.
“Since I realized this evening, watching you take responsibility
for your brother, being there for him unconditionally, how damn
fast you’s growing up, and yore’ old man got his first twinge of
having to let you go one day.”
“What? You found a big enough stick some'eres? You think you
gonna’ run me off with it, Old Man?” I tossed back at him.
He laughed. My old man knew when he was licked. He grinned real
big, and put his hand up for me. I pulled him from his chair, up
to my naked body, and held him. “I jes’ come in to see if I could
give you a hand with your bath. I got Dwayne playing with my lap
top and told him I might be a minute.”
“Naw, Son, not tonight. I'm exhausted; emotionally drained. Ain’t
a’ gonna’ take no shower this evening. Won’t do me no harm to miss
a day.”
“I’ll say,” I laughed rolling my eyes.
“You always did like me a little this side a’ downright dirty.”
“Bet chore’ sweet ass, Old Man. I could eat you alive when you’re
a bit ripe; hold the lettuce, pickle and mayo; just hot buns with
lots of juicy, mature, cowboy beef hang’n in between. Woah,
dogies. Makes me old dick hard jes’ think’n ‘bout it,” I groaned.
He laughed feeling my dick start to get hard against him.
“Damn, Son, you be get’n as bad as me saying outrageous shit,” he
allowed. We shared a laugh, “Gimme’ a hand with my legs, Honcho,
and I should be set for the night.” I assisted him taking his legs
off and carefully set them aside. I got his wheelchair and moved
it over next to the bed for him. I took his glass on his night
stand, went to the bathroom, and got him some water. When I came
back into the room he was propped up in bed watching me with a big
smirk on his face.
“What?” I asked, knowing in my heart what he was grinning at.
“Little nervous?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, and grinning
knowingly.
“Not really. When you been loved by the best, you learn how to be
the best lover,” I replied. I sat down beside him, took his cock
in my hand, leaned over and gently kissed the head. He pulled me
up into his arms for a goodnight kiss. It wasn’t our usual peck
and a hug. He was telling me something. “Take that love and give
it to your brother, Case. That boy needs all the love we can give
him right now. Spence was right about you, you know. There’s
plenty a’ room in that big cowboy heart a’ yorn for all of us.
Damned if that man don’t love you a powerful lot. He thinks the
world of you, Son."
“I got to think’n this evening, I’m pretty damn fond of him, too,
Dad. I was proud of you this evening. I saw things about you I
ain’t never seen before, and they were good, wonderful qualities I
guess I never took the time to notice. We’re gonna’ get my brother
through this, Dad, I just know it.”
“Goodnight, Son.”
“Goodnight, Dad, see ya’ in the morning. I’ll be in to give ya’ a
hand.” I turned and walked from ‘our’ room and returned to Dwayne.
* * * * * * *
Vince waited until he heard the door to Casey’s room close, picked
up the phone next to the bed, and dialed the Winchester’s number.
“Spence, it’s me, Vince. I just wanted to call and thank you and
Donna for a wonderful evening and what you done for the boys.”
“None necessary, Brother. It’s my privilege to be included and
help however I can. One way or another, we can’t let what’s
happening to Dwayne continue. I got some ideas I’ll run by you
before I throw ‘em out to the boys.”
“Yeah, I got a couple to run by you, too, but I think we should
let the boys play a major role, if for no other reason, to learn
they can take on a situation like this, reason it out, get help if
they need it, and win.”
“Couldn’t agree with you more, Son. How well do you know Dwayne’s
dad? Do you have any contact with him anymore? Should he know
about what’s going on?”
“How well do I know Rance? I can't tell you everything I know
right now, Spencer, but suffice to say I know him very well. I’ve
run into Rance several times at different rodeos since he and
Sadie divorced. We wave, tip our hats, and acknowledge each other,
but we don’t talk much. He has his reasons, and I respect them.
'Sides, he's always too damn busy to say much. He knows I love him
and would do anything in the world for him. I also respect Rance a
great deal, but God no, we shouldn’t tell him under any
circumstances, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I know Rance, and
the Colonel’s life wouldn’t be worth a plug nickle. I seen that
cowboy in action on more’n a few occasions, and he’d break Brad
Dunbar in two if he know’d what he was doing to his boy. If you,
me and the boys can handle it, I’d rather keep Rance out of it for
his own protection. Rance is a good man, but I don’t want Dwayne
to have to visit his dad on death row in prison. I got a few aces
up my sleeve. I can call in some debts and have a pretty
impressive posse behind us with a couple of phone calls.”
“You never cease to amaze me, Cowboy. You know how I feel about
you,” Spencer said.
“Your feelings are mutual, Brother. I can’t hide much from you.”
“Glad ju’ called. See ya,’ real soon. Goodnight, cowboy.”
“Goodnight, Brother.”
* * * * * * *
When I returned to my room, Dwayne was reading an erotic short
story I wrote last summer about him and me. It was about my
fantasies of having sex with him. “Damn, Case, you never told me
you wrote stories. This is fuck’n fantastic. Look at me,” he said,
swiveled in my computer chair to show me is dick was sticking
straight up, and drooling like a dog in the last stages of rabies.
“I have my secrets, Bubba. You weren’t suppose to see that. How’d
ju’ find it?” I asked and laughed.
“I just checked out your directory and didn’t find no game I
wanted to mess with, but I saw this folder what said ‘my stories.’
I opened it and saw this one titled, ‘Bubba and me.’ I just
wondered and took a look. Like to blow’d my socks off, it did.
Would’ve, too, if’n I’d a’ been wear’n any; most likely me boots,
too,” he laughed, then added, “Shit. This be a hot story, Case.
Could I have a copy for my lap top?”
“Play yore’ cards right, Cowboy, and you can have anything the
‘longhorn’s got,” I said invitingly and laughed.
Dwayne got up from the chair and stood before me in all his glory;
all the glory and magnificence of his youth. Dwayne wasn’t a
pretty man. He had a ruggedly hard, chiseled look about him that
reminded me of unfinished masterpieces by Michelangelo; ones he
roughed in the facial features and never quite finished. They were
raw, strong, virile men trying desperately to come to life from
the stone they were imprisoned within. Sometimes I would look at
them and understand why he might not have finished them. Perhaps
he thought they were finished as they were. To have finished them
would have been to ruin them. So it was with my beloved brother
who stood before me, raw, strong, virile, unfinished, and
incredibly appealing to me. I slipped my arms around his waist and
pulled him to me until our dicks were fighting for room between
our bellies.
“You know this is against the law in California, don’t chu’?” I
asked.
“Two naked men holding each other?" he asked in reply.
“No, silly, cockfighting,” I replied. I laughed, he groaned.
Dwayne looked deep into my eyes, and I saw his eyes began to
glisten with moisture. “Case, I...”
“Shuuu...” I quieted him as I moved to cover his mouth with mine.
My brother didn’t need any further words. He was finally home. He
was free. He was in the arms of his beloved brother. He had come
in from the cold and was warming his soul from the home fires
burning brightly within us. His unimaginable dream came true.
Dwayne felt himself falling, hopelessly into Casey’s urgent fire.
It wasn’t frightening to him. He knew this fire would not threaten
to consume his soul. This was a fire, a fire of love, passion and
understanding, that would give him back his life. Casey took his
brother’s hand and led him across the threshold of his final door
of understanding. Casey would show Dwayne the way, not by taking
from him, nor giving to him, but by sharing with him the secret
rites of passage his father taught him.
Dwayne would become a part of Vincent Longhorn’s legacy for a
greater future of unconditional love between men. Still caught up
in the passion of their embrace, Casey slowly moved Dwayne toward
his bed. They were within a couple of feet when Casey pulled them
down across the bed to continue their kiss. They felt, explored,
and held each other, bound in the first kiss each shared with
another man their own age. They knew its significance and didn’t
want the moment to end. They wanted their first kiss to echo down
through the sacred halls of the centuries, as a sign post to their
love in the universe as any supernova might mark the foretelling
of the birth of a king. They finally broke their kiss and
continued kissing around on each other.
“Oh, God, Case, y’ain’t gonna’ make fun of me if I cry, are ya?”
Dwayne asked.
“Not if you don’t make fun of me, Honcho,” I said through my
tears.
“I never knew it could be like this between two men, Case. Hell,
between any two people. I’ll remember that kiss the rest of my
life.”
“Like my dad said, let’s be responsible and get to the main
course. Some other night we’ll have more time to relax, take our
time, and make a little more love. I could make love to you all
night, Bubba.”
Casey turned in the bed and got into a sixty-nine position.
Without further ado he took Dwayne’s sizable penis in his mouth
and started to suck him. Dwayne placed his hands on Casey’s head
and saw his brother’s big cowboy cock winking at him up close and
personal. Casey was so damn big, Dwayne didn’t know if he could
even get his mouth around it, but he was willing to try. He
thought to himself, it would be a shame not to learn how to eat
something that looked so appetizing. He had a wicked thought.
Measured against his brother, his step-dad’s cock looked like a
junior miss. Dwayne remembered how good the Colonel’s cock felt up
his butt after he broke Dwayne in and loosened him up a bit.
Dwayne could only dream of how the penis before his gaping mouth
might feel deep within his gut. Wickedness must be catching. The
only thing he could think of was Casey’s penis could easily
encompass both phrases, ‘Texas Hospitality,’ and ‘Southern
Comfort.” He knew it was big because he grew up with the man, but
to be looking down the fully loaded barrel of the ‘longhorn’ was
an intimidating sight.
Fuck the size, it was his brother it was connected to and he had
no intention of letting him down. Dwayne tried to imagine his jaw
like that of a snake who found a large egg bigger than its body,
and somehow unhinges his jaw to accommodate its girth. It must
have worked because the next thing he knew he took one big lunge
and had a mouth and throat full of ‘longhorn’ cock. He heard his
brother gasp as his cock entered Dwayne’s throat. Casey almost had
Dwayne to the breaking point, and it was feeling better and better
to him. Dwayne made a valiant effort to make love to his brother’s
dick. He thought to himself he wasn’t going to let the hours he
was forced to spend sucking and choking on Colonel Jar-head’s dick
be for naught. ‘Oh, God,’ he prayed to himself, ‘let some good
come of the evil he forced upon me.’ His prayer must have been
heard, when suddenly, his throat dilated and he found about half
of Casey cock was steadily pumping down his throat.
Then Dwayne felt it. He felt Casey’s finger at his rosebud pushing
slightly. That was enough to set Dwayne afire like a skyrocket in
flight. He shoved back with his ass and took his brother’s finger
as deep as he could within him. He couldn’t hold it any longer,
but he couldn’t yell to Casey, either. His mouth and throat were
too damn full. He gently squeezed his brother’s leg to let him
know, but it was too late. Casey was greedily consuming volley
after volley of his brother’s thick, ropey, cowboy cream. Dwayne
took one huge lunge on Casey’s cock and felt his brother’s mighty
cowboy wad begin its ascent up through his ‘longhorn.’ Dwayne
learned from sucking his step-dad when to pull back to catch his
come in his mouth, so he wouldn’t miss any, but also, he would be
sure not to spill a drop. One of the worst beatings the Colonel
ever gave him was for spilling a small bit of his seed. That was
not the case now. Dwayne wanted to taste and revel in his
brother’s cowboy nectar. He wasn’t disappointed.
The young men lay together making love and cleaning each others
penises until Casey turned around to hold his brother in his arms
again. He gently kissed Dwayne on his forehead, on each cheek, the
tip of his nose, and finished his odyssey by gently placing his
mouth over his brother's. This kiss was a gentle, relaxed, more
sharing kiss of thanksgiving and appreciation for each others
efforts toward a shared common goal.
“That was fuck’n unbelievable,” Dwayne whispered almost
breathlessly, continuing to kiss around on Casey’s face and neck.
“It was pretty damn special, Bubba. See? See what sex can be like
when you care about the other person and you know they care about
you?”
“There’s no comparison, Case.”
“I love you, Dwayne. For years I been dream’n of holding you
close, and whispering in your ear how much I’ve always loved you
from the first time I saw you on the playground in grade school.
You had a bat in your hand and waved for me come join your team.
You never saw me before. You didn’t know whether I could play ball
or not.”
“Yes, I did. I know’d who you was. I watched you lots of times
playing ball with your dad in the park. You just never saw me or
knew who I was, but I know’d who you was. My daddy pointed you out
to me. He told me who you and your dad was. He also told me
something strange I ain’t never told nobody. I didn’t remembered
it until you brought up the subject of playing ball. He told me to
be good to you, to treat you like you's ma' brother, it was
important, and someday he would tell me why. Case, I ain’t
never loved another body like I love you, and all this we done
tonight is like icing on a cake; a very special cake.”
“Things are going to be easier for you now, Brother. I have good
feelings about tonight.”
“So much has happened to me in such a short period of time it’s
hard for me to comprehend it all, but you been by my side every
step of the way. For that, and for your love, I’m grateful, Case.
Even when the Colonel had me tied-up in the barn, all I could
think of was you holding me in your arms, gently kissing my neck,
and comforting me. I got me a massive hard-on just think'n on you.
Colonel Jarhead come out to find me hard as a rock and laughed at
me. He thought it was because his abuse was turning me on, but it
was something much greater than he ever dreamed about; something
he had no power over; something he could neither touch nor taint.
It was your love, Case. It surrounded me, comforted me, and
protected me. I love you so much, Case,” Dwayne said and began to
shed a few more tears as I held him tight. I knew we had to get to
sleep soon because I set my alarm to go off a little ahead of my
dad’s. I held him and kissed him some more until he settled down.
“Let’s get some sleep, Bubba,” I whispered to him.
“Don’t let me go, Case,” he pleaded.
“I won’t never let chu’ go, Dwayne. You’s my brother.”
End of Chapter 6 ~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright ~ © ~ 2005 ~ 2016 ~ Waddie Greywolf ~ All Rights
Reserved ~
Mail to: Waddie Greywolf <waddiebear@yahoo.com>
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01/12/2005
09/29/2016