TEXAS LONGHORNS
By Waddie
Greywolf
Chapter 2
Curtis Langtry ~
Curtis Langtry, my grandfather, was the nephew of Lillie Langtry
of Judge Roy Bean fame, the hanging judge of Langtry, Texas. While
they never met when he was alive, old Roy fell in love with a
picture of her someone gave him. He built a theater in her honor
and changed the name of the town he lived in to Langtry. When he
died he willed her one of his six-shooters that’s still in the
Langtry museum in New Jersey. She was a beautiful, talented woman
with dark violet eyes who captured the hearts of Europeans as well
as her own countrymen. She was mistress to Edward VII for many
years and was sometimes known as ‘The Jersey Lily.’
Granddad had great plans for his oldest son. He taught him all he
knew about being a cowboy. He taught him to rope and ride at an
early age. My dad, Vincent, or Vince, was a damn good cowboy. He
was a natural in the saddle and is still one of the best all
around buckaroos today. After three generations of cow-people you
might say it was in his blood. Granddad was bringing his youngest
boy, Seth Quee, along as well, but Seth just didn’t have the same
natural talent for roping as his older brother Vincent. Granddad
was interested in winning and would, most times, partner with his
boy Vince. They won a lot and granddad was a proud man. It was
natural Seth should feel left out and somewhat rejected by his
dad. Children should never be made to feel inferior to another
sibling. It can cause major personality problems later in life.
You might think showing one boy favoritism by pushing him harder
in a sport than another would be cause for major sibling rivalry;
not so with Vince and Seth. Vince was a sensitive young man and
could see how it effected his younger brother. Vincent was also
wise and certainly empathatic beyond his years. Many said he had
the soul of an old man behind his eyes. He would compensate by
spending as much time with his younger brother as he could,
practicing roping or anything Seth chose to do. Vincent spoiled
his little brother. He would never argue with him. If Vince had
something Seth wanted, he would simply give it to him, no
questions asked. Curtis would marvel at his boys' bond with each
other and bragged his boys never fought. Of course they never
fought, they were too busy making love to each other. The boys
developed a bond between them early on that transcended and
compensated for the love they didn’t receive from their father.
Sibling rivalry became sibling revelry, the very definition of
incest.
Although he might have had a great, deep love for his boys, Curtis
Langtry was like many Western men and was afraid to show any overt
signs of affection toward them. There was never a mention of being
proud of them, a pat on the back for a job well done, or a quiet
moment between them when he might simply tell them he loved them.
In Curtis Langtry's small-minded world, men just didn’t tell other
men they love them. “T’weren’t natchrul,” Curtis would claim. The
boys grew up never knowing exactly what their dad thought of them,
and came to depend on each other for the support, love, and
companionship they weren’t getting from him. Their mom died when
the boys were young. Some said she died of a broken heart because
her husband was such a cold man. A spinster sister came to live
with Curtis Langtry to help take care of the boys until they were
of an age to take care of themselves. Aunt Gertie saw them through
puberty and young manhood.
Curtis Langtry was a no nonsense, fundamentalist evangelical
four-square gospel Christian; a rigid, upright, stalwart, deacon
of The First Baptist Church of the Nazarine; a soldier of the
cross, who saw everything he perceived as wrong or evil in the
world fully supported by his religion’s warped and distorted views
of God’s holy word. Moral issues and values were only as clearly
defined as the latest rabid sermon by the preacher who interpreted
the scriptures for the less holy, the unlearned of his
congregation, from fear and loathing of the reverend's own
repressed sexuality; backed up by a goodly shovel-full of hellfire
and damnation rhetoric; a God-awful, demonic brew. Even though the
book of Revelations reads like a love letter from Charles Manson,
Curtis believed every word as gospel. If the bible said pluck out
thine eye or cut off thine own hand if it offends thee, according
to my dad, my granddad would. There were no gray areas. There was
no wiggle room. So it was, with him and his two boys. His two most
precious gifts any deity might bestow upon a man, he cast away
from him in a moment of heated anger, aided by his rigid, false
sense of religious piety.
After dad got my mom pregnant at sixteen and granddad caught him
with Bubba Swanzey sucking each others cocks in his barn, Curtis
went ballistic. He told my dad he wouldn’t be living under the
same roof with ‘no Goddamned sodomite’ and for his son to get out
of his house immediately. Dad didn’t even get to finish high
school. He married my mother, joined the Marines, and was
immediately shipped to Vietnam. Dad’s younger brother, my Uncle
Seth, stuck up for his older brother. He told my grandfather he
was being too hard on my dad, and if he couldn’t understand the
greater truth of Christ’s message and find it in his heart to
forgive his brother, then he would leave, too. Uncle Seth
explained to my granddad he was a bigger sodomite than my dad ever
thought he was. Uncle Seth told the old man he was the one who
talked my dad into sharing physical love with him.
Granddad ignored Uncle Seth’s ultimatum. He probably figured he
did wrong by my dad, but he would never admit it. Admitting you
made a mistake or might be wrong was a sign of weakness in a true
Western man; a chink in the armor of a soldier of God. Unknown to
everyone, it damn near ripped the old man’s guts out, but he knew
in his heart it was what God wanted him to do; however, whatever
reward God might have planned for him in a hereafter for denying
his oldest son, Curtis sure as Hell didn’t want to lose his
youngest, his baby boy, his last son. He thought Uncle Seth was
bluffing, he was making it up to get his dad to reconsider, until
one night, granddad found himself roped and hog tied, with Uncle
Seth sucking his cock like a new born calf who just found its
momma’s teat.
When my dad related the story, he told me, “Yore' Uncle Seth was
a’ suck’n his daddy’s cock like a Hoover vacuum cleaner possessed
with a demonic spirit. Uncle Seth didn’t stop, neither, when his
old man called him every dirty name he could think of and then
invented a couple. The old man threatened him with his life. He
tried to scare Uncle Seth by telling him his immortal soul would
be damned to a lake of fire for all eternity. Uncle Seth told him
he didn't care, it'ud be worth it just to get his'self a big-ole
taste of his daddy's cowboy cream. The more my granddaddy yelled
and complained the harder Uncle Seth kept on a’ sucking.” Dad told
me, it was true, Uncle Seth was a demon when it came to sucking
cock. Dad said he was sure he could smell the brimstone sometimes
when he shot a big load down his baby brother’s throat. Then dad
would throw back his handsome head and roar with laughter, sit
there for a minute thinking about his beloved brother, and burst
into tears for their lost love.
The way dad tells the story I must be an awful lot like my Uncle
Seth. Dad says I’m the ‘spit’n image’ of his baby brother except
for my penis. Dad swears and be’damns I got my cock from my
granddad. Dad laughingly told me, “Both Uncle Seth and you got the
‘piggy’ gene.” I’ll admit, I do love to chow down on my old man’s
saddle horn and he’s like that potato chip add on T.V., I can’t
eat just one. I guess it was the same way with my Uncle Seth. He
wasn’t satisfied with sucking granddad off once. I guess he wanted
to make damn sure he got his point across. He kept him tied up
half the night and sucked him off a couple more times before Bubba
Swanzey came to pick him up. He wrote my dad a letter telling him
about it in minute detail; a ‘blow by blow’ description. Dad gave
me Uncle Seth’s letter as a keepsake after he told me about my
granddad.
* * * * * * *
Seth Quee's letter to his older brother Vince in Vietnam.
Langtry, Texas, August 3, 1966
Dear Brother,
I went by to see Francis the other day when dad sent me
into town for feed. She's really beginning to show, Bubba. I
have a feeling it's gonna' be a really big baby. I sure hope
it's a boy so’s I can have me a nephew to spoil. Frances looks
so happy and pretty. She read me your latest letter to her. We
held hands and cried because we miss you so much. I helped load
some boxes on her old man's truck she was taking to the bus
station to send to her aunt in California. She's leaving the end
of this week to go out there to live until you get back. I'll
miss her. I think of Frances as family now. I know you been
sending her your letters to me, but after next week, send your
letters to Bubba Swansey. He'll get them to me. Bubba's a good
man. I know you love him as much as I do.
It seems like an eternity since you come home from boot
camp and you and Frances got married. You looked so handsome in
your uniform, and I was so damn proud to be my big bubba's best
man. Damn, Bubba, I can't tell you how proud of you I am. I'm
just so sorry our old man didn't swallow his pride and come to
your wedding. I begged him to, Vince. I got down on my knees,
cried, and begged the old son of a bitch. I told him one day
he'd be sorry he didn't. He just ignored me. I'm glad you and me
found time to get away together. I know your life after Nam is
going to be devoted to your family, and that's as it should be.
I know we talked, but Bubba, I want you to know I ain't lost me
a brother, I've gained me a whole new family to love. Never fear
your little brother's gonna' get jealous or feel left out. I
have no fear in my heart you'd ever leave me out of your greater
love. It jes' ain't gonna' happen. I know you too damn well.
You've proved your love for me too many times.
Well, Bubba, you’re no longer alone in the world of the
vanquished. Before you hear any rumors from anyone else, I want
you to hear about it from me. One important thing I want to make
clear, Vince, is I love you, Brother, very much, but my love for
you or the love you have for me weren’t the reason I done what I
done. What I did was carefully thought out, planned, and was
done for my own selfish reasons. It’s been about six months
since you were shipped to Nam, but a couple of weeks ago, it
finally came to a head between our old man and me. I guess it
all came about because, in my heart, I know the feelings we have
for each other are real, honest, and form a deeper love than may
be dreamed of in our dad’s philosophy of life. I don’t give a
good Goddamn what he bases his crazy beliefs on, I know in my
heart he’s wrong, and his narrow minded rigidity has made him a
cold, empty, barren vessel afraid to love. He’s come to see any
expression of love as an act of perversion as defined by his
sick sense of family values. Of what virtue is his or any values
if they don't have love? Love by any definition is still love.
In many ways, Brother, I guess we inherited his
head-strong, stubborn streak. You and I know how stubborn we
both can be; me, much more than you. I suppose, I just wanted
love from him the way we shared love and felt for each other. I
finally realized it was never going to be. I made a decision; a
decision I could live with. No matter the consequences, I knew I
could no longer live with the frustration of having him in my
life. Vince, don’t get me wrong, it didn’t necessarily mean I
wanted him to share physical love with me the way we did. I was
just so starved for any sign of affection from him, I would’ve
settled for his arm around my shoulder or a pat on the back
telling me I was a good son, he loved me, and he was proud of
me. Do you ever remember him telling either of us he loved us? I
can't.
On the other hand, to be completely honest, you know me
well enough to know I wouldn’t have said ‘no’ if he wanted
physical love from me. You know how I used to talk to you about
how attracted to dad I was. Every time I mentioned it, you would
tell me not to go there, our dad was not to be fucked with. You
revealed to me your own attraction to him, but stressed he would
never understand, tolerate, or entertain any such ideas. I have
a hard head, but it finally sunk in, you were right. I guess I
just expected more from him. I damn sure know I wanted and
needed more from him than what we got. After he did what he done
to you, I come to realize, I was never going to get any
affection from him. I was never going to have even a modicum of
the love I needed. I also realized I transferred all my need to
love him onto you, and in effect, you became not only my brother
but my surrogate dad as well.
As my older brother, you knew what I needed and what I was
missing from dad. I guess you figured you knew how much you
missed those things, so you were going to make damn sure I got
them. You were empathetic and understanding enough to provide
those things for me. Hell, you lied so many times and told the
old man you did something I done just so’s I wouldn’t have to
suffer his wrath. I don’t think I was a mean spirited kid, but I
sure could get myself into some shit sometimes. I saw the way
other brothers treated their little brothers and knew you were
different. I loved you so much for always being there for me at
my worst times. You always treated me like I was more than just
your little brother.
You treated me like I was your buddy, your friend, but you
never let me forget we were brothers, and as your little brother
I was the most important person in the world to you. You told me
I could share or tell you anything, but no matter how strange or
bizarre I might think it was, it would never change the love you
have for me. I knew I could tell you anything. I shared with you
my attraction to our dad and you shared the same with me. Now,
I’m sharing this with you. For your understanding, your love,
and a thousand other reasons, my beloved brother, I will always
love you and remain grateful to you ‘til I breathe my last, and
hopefully, beyond death. I truly believe love transcends the
grave.
And now, for the good part, my brother, depending on your
point of view. I realize there's a chance you might be
disappointed with me for doing what I done, but knowing your
sense of humor and belief in ultimate, cosmic retribution, I
hope you can find it in your heart to forgive and be, perhaps,
just a little bit proud of me. As for me, I have no regrets. For
once, I got what I needed, even if I had to take it away from
him. Oh, Hell, why whitewash it? I stole the love I needed from
our father. Basically, Vince, I raped our pa. We were working
hard one hot afternoon this past summer mucking out horse stalls
in the barn. We were both hot and sweaty from our work and the
harder we worked the more I could smell his body. Vince, I can’t
describe the way his healthy, masculine smell made me feel. The
effect bypassed my brain completely and went directly to my
penis and made it very happy. It didn’t collect two hundred
dollars for passing ‘Go’ on the way, neither. We finished and
dad went in to clean up leaving me to put the tools away, feed,
water the ponies, and close up the barn.
After feeding and watering the stock, I sat on a bale of
hay, got my bandanna out of my pocket, took my hat off and wiped
my face. I was filthy, but I didn’t care. I smelled wonderful,
and I could still smell dad’s presence all around me. It was
overpowering. Other than you, I think it was the strongest
sexual feeling I experienced, and I think what made it so
exciting was the idea it was forbidden. I couldn’t have him. Or
could I? Was this a metaphor? Was my dad the forbidden fruit the
bible speaks of? I sat there with a roaring hard-on for a few
minutes thinking about things. I thought about you being over
there, how mean dad was to you, and how much I was missing you.
I thought about how lonely and frustrated I was without you.
Bubba let me lean on him some, but it just weren't the same as
having my big brother’s love.
Then, I got to thinking about how selfish dad was with his
love, and how, if anyone was going to love me, I had to do it
myself. So I pulled out my cock, and like so many times before,
began to jack off. Something clicked in my brain, Vince. It was
as if a voice come to me and said, 'It’s always going to be like
this the rest of your life. Except for your brother, you’ll
always be alone if you have your dad in your life. He will never
let go of you nor will he ever allow you to be yourself and love
like your brother taught you. He neither knows how to give nor
receive love. It came to me our dad never loved himself and
consequently never knew how to love others.
I decided, it was better to take love from him, and in the
process, no matter how he might respond, show him your deepest
need to love him. I told myself, don’t be afraid of him or how
he might respond. For now, it’s enough for you to metaphorically
suck out of him what he steadfastly refuses to give. One day, he
may come to see my actions were as much for him as they were for
me. You know how he will react. Hold your head high and accept
his wrath with maturity and dignity. Neither apologize for your
actions nor ask his forgiveness. Give neither credence nor
dignity to his accusations by attempting to argue with him. You
will not win. Remember the old saying, ‘There is no man so blind
as he who will not see, nor any man so deaf as he who will not
hear.'
He will simply rationalize your attempt to show him love as
coming from a sick, perverted mind, the very depths of demonic
possession. He will never accept, until later perhaps, your
actions had any direct bearing on his actions or lack thereof.
Even though he may actually enjoy your expression of love he
will never allow himself to admit or accept it. However, I will
promise you, he will never forget it.' With those lingering
thoughts in my mind, I returned my cock to my Wranglers and knew
what I had to do. I returned to the house with a couple of my
ropes. I knew exactly what I was going to do and how. It all
played out in my mind like a movie.
I went to his room and found him getting ready for his
shower. He looked at me with the meanest look that I should dare
invade his privacy. He didn’t have a stitch on. He was buck-ass
naked. I can’t ever remember seeing our dad naked before that
night, can you? Damnation, Brother, our old man’s got a cock on
him bigger’n you and me put together, and neither one of us is
exactly what you might call small. Dad is hung just slightly
smaller than a Brahma bull, but I think his balls might be just
as big or maybe even a little bigger. I couldn’t help lick my
lips when I saw his tackle, neither. My mouth started watering,
and he saw my look of what he would called 'carnal' lust' for
him.
“What’s wrong with you, Boy? What the Hell do you think
yore' doing coming into my bedroom without knocking first? Ain’t
cleaned myself. Ain’t dressed yet, neither. Ain’t got no clothes
on. Get chore’ ass out a’ here, Boy, right now. I’ll deal with
you later,” he growled at me. Any other time I would’ve jumped
at one of his commands. Now, his indignation just seemed amusing
and out of place at the moment.
“Yore' shower can wait, Old Man. "Sides,” I told him, “I
want you a little dirty,” I barked back at him.
I just smiled at him, took my rope, tossed it around him
and pulled it tight. I guess he never should’ve taught his sons
to be cowboys. He couldn’t move his arms, I quickly looped it
around him a couple more times before I approached him and
pushed him down across his bed. He was cursing like a drunken
sailor and flailing about with his legs trying to get on his
feet. I took my second rope and looped it around his feet and
cinched them together tight.
“What the Hell do you think you’re doing, Boy?" he
repeated, "You ain’t too big for me to give you a good whuppin’!
Why, I’ll bust your butt for this. You won’t be able to sit down
to eat for a week or more when I get through with you. How dare
you do this to yore’ father. This is an unforgivable sin in the
eyes of the Almighty.” I didn’t respond, I just whipped out a
long strand of latigo from my back pocket and bound his feet
tight. I took another and bound his hands behind his back. I
took a third, pulled his legs up behind him and bound them to
his hands. Basically, I roped and hog tied our old man. He was
cursing at me like I was Satan himself and his religion was
going to save him from what fate he could only imagine. I looked
in his dresser and found a couple of clean bandannas. His
ranting and raving reached a fevered pitch I didn’t want to
listen to anymore. I sat beside him on the bed and laid my hand
gently on his hip. He was still foaming at the mouth for me to
release him.
“Shuuuu. Listen to me for a minute, Dad. I mean you no
harm, and what I done is as much for you as it's gonna' be for
me.” He started in again. He made it clear he wasn’t going to
listen to a word I had to say. “Goddamn it, Old Man, I done told
you once to shut chore' mouth and listen to me. I ain’t gonna’
tell you again. Now, shut the fuck up, and listen to me for a
minute, then you can rant and rave all you like. Ain’t a’ gonna’
do you no good, no how.” I yelled at him at the top of my voice
with more than a little anger. I guess he finally decided he
better shut up and listen to what I had to say.
“Now, I got some things to do. We can do this the easy way
or I can make it hard for you. It’s up to you. If you continue
mouthing off I’m gonna’ gag you so’s I don’t have to listen to
an endless stream of your perverted religious crap. Whatever God
or demon you pray to ain’t gonna’ save you from my brand of
cowboy love'n.” He glared at me with a dumbfounded look on his
face from the small conundrum of my words. I stopped to let what
I said sink in. I guess he was so accustomed to me jumping at
his every command he thought he could buffalo me and make me do
it now.
“You listen to me, Boy. The minute I get loose, I’m call’n
the sheriff to come out here and arrest yore’ ass. I’m gonna’
have yore’ butt locked away in the Gatesville reformatory for
boys. ‘At’s where you belong. Maybe they can teach you some
respect."
“Okay, Dad, that’s enough of your empty threats, I warned
you," I told him. I took one of the bandannas, and wadded it up
in my hand. When he started in again, I swiftly moved it to his
mouth and firmly plugged it. I took another piece of latigo and
tied the gag in place behind his head. Even with his mouth
tightly gagged, he wouldn’t stop trying to rave. I reached over
and kissed him gently and lovingly on his forehead. He stopped
immediately, and I saw a look in his eyes of puzzlement, doubt,
and bewilderment. He knew I’d won and he was, for all practical
purposes, helpless and under my control. Guess what, Brother?
For all his protesting and threats his old hoss was as hard as a
raging, horny, slobbering bull in a pasture of fresh heifers. It
was drip'n and a' drool'n like one, too. Go figure?
I wasn’t going to let that fact pass him by. I wanted to
make it perfectly clear I was in charge and I knew he was, for
whatever reason, turned on by it. I held his gaze with my eyes
as I slowly moved to his engorged penis. I looked him dead on in
his eyes as I bent forward, blew my breath across it, then
lovingly kissed the head of his exposed cock. I still held his
gaze as I slipped my tongue into his piss slit and sucked up
some of his pre-come drooling from it. Then I ran my tongue
around and under his tight foreskin and cleaned him good. His
eyes got bigger and bigger and his whole body shuddered. I
raised myself from him still holding his gaze and smiled.
“Ummm, damn, Dad! Your juices and bits under your skin are
so good. Best I ever tasted, sir. Gonna’ get me some more of
that in a few minutes, but first I gotta’ go clean myself. I
can’t offer myself to my old man with a dirty body. It would be
downright disrespectful.” He glared at me, but I smiled back,
winked, and started to remove my clothes in front of him. I took
my time and made it into a strip show for our old man. I didn’t
do no sexy dancing. I just wanted him to see me for who I was,
fully naked in front of him. It must have worked. His hard dick
never went down the whole time. When I finished I stood in front
of him and made him watch as I played with myself until I was
roaring hard. “Try’n relax, Dad,” I told him,“I’m gonna’ go
clean myself, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I knew he was secure. I made sure of that when I tied him.
I had no fear of him getting loose. I went to my room and got my
bag you taught me to use to clean myself and went to his
bathroom. I cleaned myself completely, but I didn’t use no soap.
I wanted the natural smell of my body to stay with him as a
memory. I wanted it to haunt him the rest of his days. The voice
in my head told me he would remember my smell from that night
and experience it again one day in a very powerful way. When I
returned I removed his gag. “Now you know I’m serious, Dad, will
you be quiet, cooperate, and allow me to do what I need to do? I
promise, you won’t be harmed in anyway.” His attitude softened
somewhat, but he still wanted to talk.
Now, he wanted to reason with me. “Son, please, you don’t
wanna’ do this. Whatever you got in mind, I know I ain’t gonna’
like it. Please, just let me up. You made your point, and I got
to think’n, maybe I ain’t been as right by you and yore’ bother
as I might have been. I’ll try’n make it up to you, but if you
go through with this you will be as dead to me as yore’ shameful
brother.”
“My brother ain’t shameful, Old Man. You're the only one
ashamed of my brother, Dad. I’m certainly ain't ashamed of
Vince. I love my brother. How can you be ashamed of someone for
showing his brother a little love? Him and Bubba weren’t hurt’n
nobody. Just because you condemn what they done and read it was
a sin in some collection of myths and superstitions written by
rag-headded camel jockey thousands of years ago during the
bronze age, don’t make it so. Don’t bother me with your empty
arguments, Dad. I know them all by heart, and they don’t wash
with me. They never did. They just ain’t so. They're a pack of
lie, myths, and superstitions. I love my brother. He taught me
about love. Something you shore as Hell ain’t never bothered to
do. Kinda glad you didn’t, or I’d be as fucked up and empty as
you are.
"Vince taught me what love is about. He taught me how to
give and receive love. You were always too damn busy preaching
your own personal gospel of hate and fear. I’m sorry, Dad, I
jes' can’t live like that no more. I don’t want to live in fear
of God, you, or any other man for that matter. I want, with all
my heart, to love and respect you as a son should his father,
but you ain't never allowed either of your sons to show you
love, and you ain't never, in all the years I been yore' son,
even once, told me you loved me, I was a good boy, or you were
proud of me. I lost almost all respect for you believing in them
myths and superstition and insisting everyone else should
believe the way you do. Because of your own actions, I choose
not to live with hate, anger, or mendacity in my heart.
"Now, since you never chose to give me your love, I’m going
to, at least for a while, take what I need from you, and I’m
going to try to give you my love. You may think what you please
as long as you’re quiet about it. At this point, I could care
less about your perverse beliefs and your gospel of fear and
hatred. What has it ever gotten you but regrets and loneliness?
How much will you pay before you give up such nonsense, learn
the true meaning of Christ's teachings of unconditional love,
and what God really means for us comes from the love in your
heart? It don’t come from no foam’n at the mouth deranged little
demagogic foaming-at-the-mouth moronic preacher what don’t know
his ass from a hole in the ground. I can only pray you ain't
such a big fool you miss the point in what I hope to accomplish
here this evening,” I told him. I watched his eyes flare in
anger.
“I’d be careful if’n I was you how you talk about Jesus and
our Lord. You's already are in danger of the fires of Hell by
looking upon your father’s naked body. Why, God done turned Ham
into a nigger just for looking upon his father's nakedness.
Think how much worse it's gonna' be for you, boy," he ranted.
I laughed at him. "Well, Dad, that would assume I believe
in the same perverse, genocidal, woman and baby killing deity
you do, but if'n there is a God, and I was him, when I saw what
you done to my big brother I would a' removed yore' balls
immediately so's you couldn't create any more kid's to abuse
with your crazy beliefs. He done give you the greatest gift a
man could ever hope for, two talented and loving sons, and you
done fucked it up by driving them away from you with your rabid,
rigid, unbending fundamentalist religious garbage. How do you
think he's gonna' look on that?"
"You ain't plan'n on castrate'n me, are you?" he asked with
some fear.
"Oh, Hell, no, Old Man. Them big balls of yorn are what
made me and my brother. They's the only thing about you what's
Holy. I plan to show them the love, honor, and respect they's
due and bring forth their bounty for my final communion feast to
thank the a man I love and respect above all others; who just
happens to be my personal God what made me. Taking your seed
into my body is a Hell of a lot more meaningful to me that
choking down a damn cracker with a shot of grape juice. If'n I
didn't love you so Goddamn much I wouldn't be doing it."
"You're talk'n blasphemy, Boy. If you value your immortal
soul you won't do nothing of the kind. If'n you do, I promise
you'll burn forever in a lake of fire."
“I’m sure you probably wish't that for me right now, Dad,
but let me say, if’n it’s so, just being able to kiss the head
of the penis what belongs to the man what made me, whom I’ve
admired and wanted to love for so long, is gonna’ be worth it. I
dreamed so many nights of holding you in my arms and telling you
how much I love you. If I’m to burn forever in a lake of fire at
least I’ll have the memory of making love to you this evening to
quench my burning thirst for the love you could have but never
chose to give me. A lake of fire? That would be like a vacation
spa compared to what me'n ma' brother had to live with for the
last eighteen years."
“Son, be reasonable. Listen to me. I never could’ve loved
you the way yore’ brother did. I just ain’t that way. I never
was very good at telling anyone I loved them. Hell, I think I
only ever told yore’ ma I loved her a couple of times, but she
knew.”
“Maybe she didn’t. I’ve heard it said she died young from a
broken heart within a loveless marriage. J’ever think maybe you
could’ve lightened her burden just a little by telling her you
loved her? You wouldn’t be lying here right now if’n you’d only
told me once in a while you cared about me. What you did to my
brother is unconscionable. I’ll never forgive you for it. You
don’t care about him or you never would a' did what chu' done to
him. What is there to make me think you feel any more for me?
You don’t care about me. All your threats and thump’n your bible
is the surest way to watch my back as I walk out of your God
forsaken life.”
“Watch yore’ mouth, boy. My God would never forsake me.”
I laughed at him, again. “Bullshit! He already has, Old
Man. Think about it. If God is love, as you’ve told me a
hun'nert times, he sure as Hell has forsaken you. You have no
love in your heart or your miserable life. You don’t love nobody
but yore'self, but maybe that’s a good thing, because after this
evening, you won’t have anyone to love you no more. You can
wallow in your own self-love. Hope you got a good strong right
hand, I got me a feel'n you’s gonna’ be loving solo for a long
time to come. No love, by your own definition, means no God.
You're as empty and your soul is as barren as them badlands is
dry out there. I’d say you’re shit out of luck in the God
department, too.”
I undid his feet one at a time. I remembered how hot our
old man looked in his cowboy boots and got his best,
Sunday-go-to-meet’n pair I used to keep cleaned and shined for
him, out of his closet. I found a clean pair of his socks in his
drawer, put them on and pulled his big boot on afterward. I
secured his left boot to the bottom of the bed and then his left
hand to the head. I repeated the action for his right side until
I had him spread-eagle on his back with his huge cock sticking
straight up like a tent pole. The whole time I was stretching
him out he never said a word. I stepped back to admire my work
and smiled at him.
Damn, Bubba, our old man looked hot just lying there naked
with only his big boots on. I kept pinching my butt to make sure
I wasn’t having a wet dream. He just continued to glare at me,
but I saw a glint of fear in his eyes. I reached for the light
switch and flipped it off. It was dark in the room except for
the moonlight coming though the open windows and a faint trail
of light coming from his bathroom. There was plenty ambient
light for me to see everything. I slowly crawled onto his bed
with him. I was going to take it slow. I wanted to enjoy and
savor the only time with my old man I figured I’d ever have. I
didn’t give a shit whether he enjoyed it or not, I was going to
make it memorable for me.
I gently laid my head upon his huge chest, put one of my
arms under him and my other over him to hold him. Then I moved
my body close to his so my cock would be pressing into his side.
I could feel his whole body go rigid as I got comfortable
holding him. How cold and rejecting, I thought, to respond to
your own flesh and blood that way. I just lay there, relaxing,
breathed deeply, and let out a contented sigh. It was a message
to him, I found great pleasure and comfort holding him close to
me. My message wasn’t missed. After a few minutes, he began to
relax having me hold him like I was. His erection even got
harder. “Thanks, Dad,” I spoke softly.
I didn’t think he would respond, but he did. “What the Hell
for? I ain’t got no choice in the matter as I sees it.”
“You’re right, you don’t, but yore’ body tells me a lot
more’n your religiously clouded mind would ever allow you to say
to me.”
“Bullshit,” he responded.
“You know, for once in your misbegotten life, you're right.
I got my arms full of bullshit right now,” I said and chuckled
as I tickled him. I even got a smirk of a smile out of him. I
lay there for a few more minutes breathing in his essence. He
still smelled of his strong, masculine scent. It was stronger
than usual because of working all afternoon in the heat. He was
like inhaling a sexual experience. He smelled so damn good,
Vince, I wanted to eat him, bite by bite. Is part of passion the
urge to consume the object of our love? Ain't eating the body
and drinking the blood of Christ the same thing? God knows I
feasted on your body so many times I began to think of you as my
personal Eucharist, but now, I was thinking on our dad as my
last supper.
However, within the same concept the awful thought of
cannibalism entered my mind, but I opted for sucking all the
good flavors from his body. I saw his left nipple was getting
hard. I’m sure it wasn’t standing that high before I lay my head
on his chest. I moved my head slightly and flicked out my tongue
at it. As soon as my tongue made contact, dad winced. Bingo! I
knew his tits were sensitive. Vince, did you ever get to see our
dad’s tits? Damn, they’s big. They’re a perfect complement to
his cock. His tits are huge. They gotta’ be two inches across
and dark brown in color. The tit part, in the middle, sticks out
from his chest at least five-eights of an inch and as much as
three-quarters of an inch when erect.
Yes, they do get erect and hard, just like his prick. I
moved my head up and began to gently suck on his tit. He never
said a word, but his breathing began to change. He wasn’t quite
so hyper. The more I sucked and gently chewed on his tit the
bigger his cock grew until it was almost at its fullest. Vince,
I swear to God, our dad has the biggest damn cock on a man I
ever did see in my life. If’n I didn’t know better, I’d swear he
ain’t human. I didn’t think it could grow any bigger, but hold
on, Big Brother, it did.
While I was sucking his beautiful tit I got me a good whiff
of his armpits and almost reached an orgasm. Remember that small
brown bottle of that yellow liquid stuff you and I played around
with one summer? You called it ‘poppers’ or something like that.
The smell of his pit had the same damn effect on me. It almost
blew my head off. I knew I had to taste them, but I didn’t want
to cheat dad’s other tit. I ran my tongue across his hairy chest
to his other tit. Still, no comment from dad. I went to work on
his right tit, licking, sucking, and gently chewing until I
sucked most of the good flavors out. It was as erect and hard as
his other. I kept gently rubbing his other tit with my left hand
and it got harder and harder. I couldn’t stay away from his pits
any longer. I buried my face in his right pit and just lay there
for a while inhaling his essence. Damn, Vince, our old man has a
wonderfully powerful male odor. My cock was raging hard as I
moved closer to him so's he could feel my erection against his
body.
This time he didn’t tense up, but he did speak to me.
“You’re sick, Boy. All this you been through about your brother
has affected you bad. Let me help you. Release me and we’ll get
you some help.” I wasn’t about to let him spoil my joy in being
close to him.
“What you done to my brother has nothing to do with what
I’m doing. Is it sick to want love from your dad who has starved
you of his love all your life? Maybe, but if I'm sick, whose
fault is it? If you don’t show your child the love he needs,
which, as I see it, is every father's duty and responsibility,
and a child becomes sick because of inaction, who then, is the
sicker? Experiments with baby monkeys who are denied physical
attention from adult monkeys, will themselves to die.
It's scientific fact we ain't so far removed from them.
Furthermore, if you think enjoying smelling the essence of your
body is sick, wait’ll you get a’ load of what I’m gonna’ do
next.” I didn’t wait for a response, I just dived into his pit
and started licking, sucking, and cleaning for all I was worth
making ‘yummy’ sounds when I’d get a particularly strong flavor.
I ‘uumed’ and ‘oohed’ until I got every good taste I could from
his right pit. Then, I moved to his left one and proceeded to
lavish it with my tongue and attention.
The whole time I was eating his pits I continued rubbing
his swollen and sensitive tits. When I sucked all the flavor out
of his other pit I resumed my position next to him with my arms
around him, and once again, held him close. I reached up and
kissed him on his cheek. He tried to pull away, but he wasn’t
quick enough. “I’ll warn you next time before I try’n steal a
kiss, Dad, so's you can git ready to reject my love for you
again. God forbid you show your boy the slightest encouragement
for his honest intentions towards you. Somehow, I seriously
doubt God would forbid or condemn you for returning a little of
your son’s affection.”
“Honest, Hell! You call this honest? How honest are yore’
intentions when you have me at your mercy?”
“Honest enough to take from you what should’ve been freely
given all these years. The honesty of not letting you make me
ashamed of showing my love for you the way I choose. Would you
wish me to take out my honest, righteous indignation and anger
for your inability to show me love all these years and beat the
shit out of you? I suppose that would be a religious experience
of biblical proportions you could relate to. Believe me, in a
moment of anger, the thought crossed my mind, but I thank God my
bubba taught me about love. He taught me you don’t do that sort
of thing to somebody you truly love. Just like you don’t cut
someone out of your life forever because they don’t share your
sick, perverted beliefs. Anger and hate ain’t the answer, Dad.
Love is the answer. That’s what Jesus done tried to tell folks,
but you won’t even listen to him. You want to recreate
Christianity in your ignorant image, Curtis, not Christ's.”
“You know nothing about the bible, Boy. The Devil has
corrupted your mind. You speak with his voice now. There's
nothing I can do for you unless you renounce him, release me,
we’ll pray for the forgiveness of your sins against yore’
father, and I’ll take you to a minister who will help you cast
off these perversions.”
“Nope. Thanks for the offer, Dad, but after tonight you
won't never have to worry none about me no more; you'll never
see me again in this life. I’m not really giving you the option
of rejecting me like you done my brother. I’m rejecting you. I’m
walking out of your sick life, and it's a one way trip; I ain't
got me no plans to return. I would never be foolish enough to
allow myself to contemplate trying to seek your love again. I
never got it all these years, what would make me think you 'd
ever change enough to show me love in the future? Why would I
want to let you put me through any more frustration or pain
always wondering, hoping, praying you'll finally wake up and
love me? So, there’s really no need for your prayers or the
services of your minister. Why would I want to live in your
miserable world anymore? You ain't got no love in you. You ain't
got no love to give me. You's as dry as a West Texas well after
a five year drought. You can't love. You're an empty barren
wasteland. You're miserable. Misery has become your happiness.
That's all you're comfortable with, and you want to make damn
sure everyone around you shares in your misery. The Devil has
more than your words, Dad, he's got your heart and soul.”
He didn’t respond, but I figured I’d rested enough. I moved
down between his legs and began to clean between his massive
thighs with my tongue. His body smells were as strong and
powerful as he is. I was so glad I intercepted him before he
took his shower. His fragrance and the taste from his body was
like ambrosia to me. I licked and cleaned beneath his huge bull
balls and finally took one completely in my mouth to suck on. I
heard him wince, but he didn’t say nothing. I rolled his
testicle around in my mouth. I released it and began to kiss and
make love to his other ball. Finally I took it into my mouth and
teased it around as well. I closed my teeth gently around it and
pulled on it stretching it away from his body. He went rigid
again, somewhat apprehensive I suppose; however, I immediately
released my pressure and let his ball slip from my mouth.
Finally I moved further down between his legs and could smell
the Earthy fragrance of his hole. I was reeling with the
emotions and smells of our father’s body. I was so close to the
prize I jacked off so many nights dreaming of tasting. I slowly
licked down, and I think he realized what I planned to do.
“Seth, my son, please, don’t do this.”
“I have to, Dad. I have to show you how much I love you.
With my action I'm rewriting holy scripture here and now.
Greater love hath no son than he who would clean and make love
to his father’s asshole,” I told him, not including the chapter
and verse from the gospel according to Seth. I didn’t wait to
explain further or for a comment. I plunged into his depths and
began to tongue his sweet hole. Vince, nothing could’ve prepared
me for the ecstasy of eating our old man’s butt-hole. I held my
lips strong against his hole and kissed him like I was making
love to a lover. He couldn’t help respond, and it almost felt
like he was trying to kiss me back with his muscle. It only made
me respond more passionately.
I kissed, licked, and cleaned all around his hole and then
plunged my tongue into him as deeply as I could to suck out all
his Earthy flavors. I must have sucked on his hole for thirty
minutes or more. I didn’t stop until I felt him writhing from
the assault on his ass by my wet and slippery tongue. He would
never shout any words of encouragement to me, but I didn’t have
to ask if he was enjoying my attentions. His whole body became a
litmus, like a dip stick on a crank case. I finally had my fill
and moved back up to hold him again and relax. He was unusually
quite, but he was also considerably more relaxed. He opened his
mouth to say something, but I stopped him. “Don’t, Dad. Don’t
say nothing just yet. Please, don’t spoil this moment for me. It
was so wonderful being able to be that intimate with you, I just
don’t care to hear anything negative you got to say. To me, what
I just done was as scared and holy as any scripture you might
think to quote or any sacrament you consider holy. It’s too bad
I have to go to such extreme means to show you how much I love
you, but I don’t see it as my fault.”
He didn’t try to say any more. I moved between his legs
again, but this time, I started making love to his enormous
cock. I kissed, licked, and cleaned every inch of him. I didn’t
look directly at him, but could see him studying me as I made
love to his penis. Finally I took him in my mouth and tried to
take as much of him as I could. I couldn’t take much
because of his size, but I remember some of the tricks you
taught me, and I began to relax my throat. The next thing I knew
I was deep fucking my throat with his big dick, and it was
taking its toll on our dad. He was beginning to writhe under me,
moaning and groaning. It was beginning to feel a little more
than just pretty good to him. I knew he was getting close. I
grabbed his testicles with my right hand and began to pull them
away from his body, and that’s all it took. I made one huge lung
and almost touched his belly with my nose when I heard him call
to me. “Seth, Son, I can’t hold it no more, Boy. I’m gonna’
shoot in your mouth. Oh, God, forgive my son. He knows not what
he does,” he yelled like he was Jesus on the cross.
I knew exactly what I was doing. I was hoping and praying
God and Jesus pulled up a chair ringside and were watching.
Curtis erupted in my throat such a large amount, his come was
spurting out my nose. I swallowed several times, but still he
kept coming. I moved back to the bulbous head of his penis to
receive the final few volleys of our dad's rich full-flavored
masculine cowboy cream. He tasted more wonderful than I could
imagine, Brother. I cleaned him up good with my tongue. I
cleaned out from under his considerable foreskin and got all his
goodness from his hidden recesses. I crawled back up to hold him
again. I once again took a deep breath and let it out with a
contented sigh. “Thanks, Dad,” I said quietly and kissed
him on his neck.
“Are you all right, boy?” he asked in a concerned tone.
“Couldn’t be better, Dad,” I replied and smiled at him.
“You taste much better than I imagined. I will remember your
fine taste, the essence of your body, the seed what gave life to
me’n my brother, the rest of my life. I’ll will repeat the sin
of Onan many times thinking about how much I enjoyed pleasuring
you this evening.”
Dad was quiet for a long while, but I could feel his
conflicting thoughts going around in his head. How could
anything that felt so good to him be so wrong? Was his boy
really trying to show him a greater love? No! He was still
convinced, it was the work of the Devil, and he’s controlling my
boy. End of worry. No need to ponder further. “Son, I know you
mean well, but...”
“Shut up, Dad!” I barked at him, “Did I make you feel good,
Pa?” I asked him more gently.
“It always feels good to ejaculate my sperm,” he replied.
“That ain’t what I asked you, Dad,” I said strongly.
He refused to answer my question. There was no breaking
down his barriers, and I had only one trick left in my bag. My
voice told me beyond kissing and cleaning dad’s hole not to
violate him there. That would leave him feeling less than a man
in his own eyes and that wasn’t my purpose. My dad was my ideal
of what a man, what a cowboy should be, and I worshiped him. I
wouldn’t consider defiling my God. My purpose was to offer him
pleasure through my physical act of love for him. It would be
different if it was consensual, but I had him at my advantage. I
couldn’t do that to our old man.
“Are you finished with me?” he asked.
“Did mom ever ask you that question, Dad?" I let that rest
with him for a moment. I felt his icy silence and knew I made my
point. "Not quite, Dad. I have a big finale planned.”
“You ain’t a’ planning on...?” he asked, his voice
trailing off in fear. Afraid to even complete his question.
“Of course not, Dad. I ain't no barbarian. I wouldn’t do
that to you, for Christ sake, you’re my dad, my father, and
believe it or not, I love you. What part of think'n on you as my
personal God don't you understand, Old Man? My love for you
boarders on worship, and I certainly would never consider
defiling someone I love as much as you. I would never disrespect
you in such a manner. I realize you ain't consented to none of
this, but that would be going beyond the realm of human decency.
However, to take you into my body would be, for me at least, a
supreme act of giving.”
“Son, let it end here. All right? If you must hear it, I
love you. It felt wonderful when you sucked me off. It was
wrong, but to deny it felt good would be almost as great a sin
as you sucking me off. Damn it, Boy, what more do you want from
me?”
“Nothing really, Dad. I only want to give to you. You
always drilled it into us boys, it's only by giving of one's
self that one receives love in return. Unfortunately, you never
practiced what you preached. You never gave us nothing, but
food, clothes, and a roof over our heads, but for that I'm
extremely grateful. Some kids out there don't have that much. I
got more love from you this evening than I ever have. I guess
you might say, I’m stocking up for the long, lonely winter of my
life without you.”
“Seth, we can work this out, Son. Nothing you’ve done to me
this evening has really been so bad I can’t overlook if you work
with me and seek help. It’s certainly nothing I would’ve elected
to engage in, but it weren’t that bad. Stop now, Boy, and I’ll
forget the whole thing. You won’t have to leave, Son. I won’t
force you to pray or see the minister. I ain’t gonna’ put you in
Gatesville. That was all anger talking. Please, Son, I see what
you been trying to prove to me. I’d have to be a stone not to
feel something even though I don’t approve of your methods. Give
me another chance, Seth. I’m begging you, Boy. Ain't never
begged no man in my life for nothing, Son, but I’m begging you
now.”
“I think that’s the first time you ever really meant
anything you said to me, Dad. I appreciate your words. I love
you for them, but it’s too late for us. My brother and I were
joined together in a love you could never come between. So when
you cut him off, you done cut me off. I tried to tell you. I
begged and pleaded with you to have the compassion you preach
about and forgive Vince, but you never listened to me. You see,
Dad, I already done made my choice for my life, and it don’t
include you. For that, and only that, I’m truly sorry. To leave
someone behind I love as much as you is like cutting my heart
out, but at least, I'll have my brother's love to comfort me. I
can always count on my brother's love. His love is as constant
as the seasons and as comforting as a soft summer rain.”
I moved between his legs again. I was so amazed, Vince, his
cock sprang to life immediately like it had its own brain and
knew what I was about to do. I thoroughly lubricated my ass
before I came to his bed so I was ready. He was so large though,
I figured I needed extra for his cock. I grabbed my tin of Bag
Balm and began to apply it generously to his enormous penis. He
moaned and groaned knowing what was coming, but his cock only
continued to grow. I finally saw our dad’s penis completely
engorged, and it was, indeed, a sight to behold. It was
unbelievable. I didn’t know if I could take him. In my mind, I
began to thank you, Big Brother, for all them times you took me
and taught me how to relax. After you left, I asked Bubba to
take me one night, and you know how big he is. For a big man,
Bubba's the soul of gentleness, and other than you big brother,
gave me one of the sweetest fuckings of my young life.
I finished lubricating dad’s shaft and positioned myself
over and in front of his dick. I grabbed him and placed the head
of his cock against my sphincter. With one swift lunge backward
I took the large head of his penis. I heard our dad gasp at the
feeling. I took a little more until I could feel him hit my
prostate. It was easy going from there, Brother. I sat right
down on the rest of him, but I sensed something was wrong. I
looked at dad and saw tears coming from the corners of his eyes.
“Oh, my God!” I exclaimed. “Did I hurt you, Dad?" I asked.
He didn’t answer for a minute as his jaw dropped opened as
if to speak. He took a deep breath before answering. “No, Son,
I’m all right. I just shot my load in your ass. Seth, this ain’t
right, but Son, I can understand the temptation. That has to be
one of the best feelings I ever experienced in my life. Are you
all right, Boy? I’m pretty big. Are you hurting?”
“No, Dad. There ain't nothing inside me competing for space
with your cock. I thoroughly cleaned myself before I came to
your bed. I made sure the handsome cowboy I was about to
pleasure wouldn't be soiled my my body's filth. You won't be
dirty when I pull off of you,” I assured him, took a good long
stroke on his cock, and let out a groan of pleasure.
“Oh, Seth, oh, Son, does my penis feel good inside you,
Boy? Does it fill you up?” he asked.
“Like a big Thanksgiving turkey dinner with all the
fixings. You can’t imagine how good you feel to me, Dad. It's
all I can do to keep from spilling my seed.”
I stayed on him for a good while, but he never lost his
erection. He stayed hard the whole time.
“Dad, you got one more good one in you, and I want it. I’m
going to fuck it out of you with my ass.”
“Seth, my Handsome Boy, I’m so large. I’m afraid you’ll
hurt yourself. That was enough, Boy. I’m satisfied you love me.
You could ruin yourself, Son.”
“Being the unholy sodomite that I am, I done this many
times before, Dad. Lie back, relax, and let your boy pleasure
you. Jesus ain't gonna' blame you none. He can see you's guilt
free. Yore' boy done raped and know'd you without permission.
That's why I didn't give you no choice in the matter. I'm the
one what has to bear the guilt. You git a free ride. It's my
gift to you. For once in your Goddamned life lay back and enjoy
the love yore' boy's got to offer you. I guaran-damn-tee-ya'
it'll be as close to a genuine religious experience as you're
ever gonna' get." I started in to ride him like a bull rider on
a Sunday best critter. I took slow, long strokes and then
several rhythmic shorter strokes. Dad was no longer being the
cold, distant observer. He was gasping for breath, moaning, and
groaning as much as I was. His hips began to involuntarily buck
to meet my thrust. I got a strong, steady, powerful stroke going
and knew he was clenching his teeth from the sheer ecstasy of
the feeling. I set into a steady, unremitting pace with a good
lengthy stroke I thought would get him off. I continued it
relentlessly until I heard dad’s soft voice,“A little shorter
stroke, Son; just a bit faster.”
I smiled to myself and immediately accommodated his
request. I knew I found his exact stroke when I saw a huge
satisfied smile come across his face, and he started to drool
saliva from the corners of his mouth. Finally, he began moving
his head back and forth and his saliva was being slung
everywhere like a bull in rut. His hips began to meet my strokes
with a frenzy like he couldn’t get enough of his giant cock
inside me. We became locked together for a single purpose to
achieve the passion of one Hell of a butt busting climax. I
certainly wasn’t disappointed in our old man. Vince, it had to
be one of the hottest sexual moments I ever experienced. Dad
screamed out, and I knew I had him. I didn’t slack off but
continued my fucking assault on his cock with my ass. He never
once wavered in his determination to reach his goal of climax.
“I’m coming, Seth! You got me, Son! Ride me down hard, Boy!
Oh, oh! Ho, my God! Oh, God forgive me, but it feels so good.
Seth, my beautiful son. Come to me. Give me your love, Boy!”
I couldn’t figure out what he meant until I leaned over to
look into his eyes as I continued to fuck him with my ass. His
mouth opened to me and my heart leaped to my throat. My dad was
asking me to kiss him. I gently placed my mouth on his, and he
greedily sucked my tongue into his mouth. I began to slow my
fucking because I felt his dick shooting volley after volley
into my butt. The more he kissed me the more he shot into my
ass. Here I was, for the first time in my life kissing my own
dad. In all my years as his son, we never kissed once until that
night. It was our first kiss. It was also our last. I knew I
would never see him again. I kept him inside me until I began to
feel him soften, and I pulled off of him. He was babbling about
how amazing it was and while it was a crime against God and
nature he could understand how it might appeal to some.
I saw lights from a pickup truck coming down our long
gravel road towards the house. I knew it was Bubba coming to
pick me up. I told him about midnight and he was right on time.
I left him alone in his room and went to mine to put on my
clothes I’d laid out earlier. I left everything there. I didn’t
want anything he ever gave me. I came down the stairs to his
room again. I untied dad without a word of apology or regret. I
handed him his robe and turned to walk away. I said nothing to
him as I walked to the door. He didn’t speak to me until I
almost reach the threshold. “Seth, Son...”
I turned to look at him, to marvel one last time at his
masculine beauty as he stood there only in his boots. For some
strange reason he didn’t bother to put his robe on. He threw it
on his bed. He looked like a God to me, Vince. My heart leaped
to my throat again, and I wanted to run and kneel at his feet to
worship him one last time, but I didn’t. I knew this God, this
man, our father standing before me in all his glory, whom I
loved beyond measure, I must walk away from.
“Goodbye, Pa, no matter what you done to me and ma'
brother, I will always love you.”
“Seth, don’t go. Please, Son. I understand what you were
trying to tell me. I can change, Son. I'll meet you halfway.”
“Bye, Pa,” I choked out, turned and walked to the porch
where Bubba was waiting. It was the hardest damn thing I ever
done in my life, Vince. Of course, dad had to have the last
word. He ran to the door, still naked except for his boots, he
flung wide the screen door, and yelled at me with all the anger
in his heart.
“If you leave now, Boy, don’t never bother to darken my
door again,” he called me.
“I assure you, you won't never have to worry about that. On
down the road, Pa, I love you,” I hollered at him not bothering
to turn around.
I got into Bubba’s truck. He put his hand on my leg and
looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He knew. Bubba ain’t the
brightest penny in the jar, but he sure as Hell can be an
understanding and loving friend when you need one.
“Ready, little buddy?” Bubba asked tenderly.
“I’m ready, Bubba. Thanks,” I replied, and we left.
Like you, Big Brother, I joined the Marines two days ago,
and I’m being sent to Camp Pendleton. I been staying with Bubba
and his family for a few days, and he’s taking me to the airport
in the morning. This is the last letter you’ll get from me
before boot camp. I won’t promise, but I’ll try to write from
Pendleton. I never kept your new name or address around the
house so dad has no idea where you are or how to find you. I’m
hoping when I get back from Nam I can change my name to be the
same as yours, so we will always be brothers. I love you so
much, Vince. If any of this letter bothers you, I apologize. It
was never my intention to hurt you none. It was only something
else I wanted to share with my big brother.
I will always love you, Vince,
Seth
I must have read Uncle Seth’s letter a hundred times or more and
jacked off every damn time because it was so hot. That wasn’t the
only reason I found it moving; it was, also, because of the pent
up love and frustration Uncle Seth felt for my granddad and the
obvious love which poured forth from his words to his brother, my
dad. To add insult to injury and to his personal horror, the old
man found it to be the most sexually exciting thing that ever
happened to him. He would never admit it, but deep down inside, he
knew he enjoyed the feeling. How could he not share his son's
guilt? He awoke to the sensuality of having his seed that created
his beautiful sons being sucked out of him and greedily consumed
by his youngest boy. Seth was right, it was close to a religious
experience; one his old man just couldn't bring himself to accept.
Only then, did he take Uncle Seth seriously, hardened his heart,
and banished him from his life with instructions for him to never
darken his door again. However, this time it wasn’t with such
great bravado and religious posing as he did with my dad. Curtis
Langtry lost everything. He lost his world for his unbending rigid
piety. Where was his God now, when he most needed comfort? He
prayed his questioning prayers asking why? What did he do wrong?
His answer never came. It was lost to him, somewhere out there in
the vast wastelands, blowing in the West Texas wind.
End of Chapter 2 ~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright ~ © ~ 2005 ~ 2016 ~ Waddie Greywolf ~ All Rights
Reserved ~
Mail to: Waddie Greywolf <waddiebear@yahoo.com>
WC = 12,146
01/01/2005
09/27/2016