ENNIS
By
Tom Forster
Chapter
10
In the mountains
of Wyoming, the month of August can begin hot and dry and end cold and
snowy. Early in the month, Ennis helped Kurt and Alma Jr. with
their move down to Syler. He was going to miss them, but it made
him happy when he knew his little girl was happy. The cattle were
driven out of the upper grazing lands towards the end of the month,
following the ancient canyons leading to the South. Almost half
the herd would be sold at market. The remainder would winter over
in the lower pastures, then the cycle would begin again. It was a
good season. Loss to predators was low and the heavy snows of the
previous winter meant there were plenty of grasses to fatten the cattle.
Vernon’s sister,
Sarah, came up from Texas when Billy called to tell her the bad
news. She loved her older brother dearly and she would tend to
him the final weeks of his life. A hospital bed was brought out
to the ranch and a room was set up for him in the downstairs
parlor. Towards the end, a nurse would be with him twenty-four
hours a day. The old man held on. It was as if he were
waiting for something before he could let go. Some days he was
able to get outside and talk with the ranch hands, others he was
confined to his bed.
Ennis and Billy
worked long, hard days through August. Two additional ranch hands
were brought in to help out. Billy and Ennis would see each other
across the canyon, the cattle packed tight, moving slowly.
Sometimes they would share a meal by the campfire with the other men
when they had to overnight it while on the drive; however, they hadn’t
been together again since the night in Ennis’ trailer. There just
wasn’t time.
Billy thought
his conversation with his uncle didn’t go well. Barker wasn’t
angry with Billy, but he believed the young man only changed his mind
when he found out about his illness. Vernon didn’t want Billy to
take over the ranch if his heart wasn’t in it, and making a decision
just to please a dying old man wasn’t acceptable to him.
Vernon told
Billy he would think on it. Plans were already in motion to
secure the future of the ranch and Barker didn’t see any reason to
change them. A few weeks after their discussion the old man’s
condition deteriorated, and Billy didn’t have the heart to press the
issue further. He felt he let everyone down,— his uncle, mother
and even Ennis, but mostly, himself. He determined to work on
until the end. The lawyers could tell him when to leave.
After the drive
was over and the profit counted, the amount of work on the ranch
decreased sharply. By early September all the seasonal workers
were gone. The bunkhouse was empty, except for Billy. Vernon,
Sarah and Ella stayed in the main house. Ennis continued his
daily commute from his trailer in Riverton. Billy and Ennis
agreed to lay low until the future was clearer. They met at the
café a couple of times for a meal after work. Winter was
setting in early and cold rains washed over the sheltered valley.
With heavy snow in the mountains. Billy asked Ennis if they could
take one last overnight trip together, just the two of them.
Ennis agreed. It was hard for him to be around Billy and not be
able to hold him,— to touch him,— to smell him.
After the first
week of the month the weather turned fair. The days were warmer,
but the nights were chilly. It was only a temporary respite to be
sure. Ennis stopped by the bunkhouse on his way home.
“Weather’s
looking nice for the next couple ‘a days. Let’s us plan on
settin’ out early in the mornin.’ I’ll let the old man know we’ll
be gone overnight. He doin any better?”
Billy was
kneeling next to the stove stocking it with wood, he stood up and went
to sit on his bunk.
“He’s holding
his own. Momma said he ate a good breakfast this morning.
I’ll be up and ready by five.”
Ennis could see
how tired Billy was. He was worried about him. He
walked over to Billy and put his hand on his shoulder.
“I know you’re
worried about what’s gonna happen. Your uncle’s a good man.
Try to have some faith he’s made the right decision.”
Ennis pulled
Billy up by his arm and walked him into the doorway of the small
apartment. He gently placed his hands on either side of his head
and kissed him softly on the lips.
* * * * * * *
The morning was
cold but sunny as they rode their horses up the path into the
trees. They would follow the same route they took the previous
Spring up to the campsite perched high on the ridge. Ennis
figured there wouldn’t be too much snow up there yet, but he packed a
two man tent just in case.
Billy thought
about all that happened since he was last up this way. It seemed ten
years passed instead of only four months. He marveled at the
beautiful fall colors of the hardwood trees. He never saw
anything like this back in Texas. Ennis led the way and Billy
followed. Billy was determined to follow Ennis wherever he
decided to go. They paused for a moment at the overlook.
Billy was still in awe of the view. The contrast between the deep
blue fall sky and the white capped mountains was stunning. They
pressed on.
Ennis was
enjoying the scenery, too. Fall was his favorite time of year,
but it was tinged with the melancholy of things coming to an end.
Ennis was a man all too accustomed to endings. The death of his
parents when he was only fourteen, his estrangement from his brother
and sister, the failure of his marriage to Alma and the loss of
Jack. He had come to accept the inevitability of endings, and
over the years he learned to enjoy the moment. Ennis took great
pleasure in little things: baby sitting his granddaughters, the time he
spent with the horses, a cold beer every now and then, a full moon on a
cold, bitter night. He took great comfort in knowing his life
would one day cease and the burning ache in his heart would be
extinguished. He was not a religious man, but he hoped he'd see
Jack again,— somehow, so he could tell him what he really felt.
Ennis' outlook
changed in recent months. He began to feel like he had more to
look forward to. Of course, Alma Jr. and her girls were all that
kept him going since '83, but Mr Barker's assurance he would have a
future at the ranch made him feel more secure.
Then there was
Billy. Ennis felt great affection for him. He never met a
kinder, gentler soul, and he was strongly attracted to him. Ennis
didn’t know what was in store for them. He couldn’t envision
living with another man even though Billy never mentioned it. At
fifty one, Ennis had no illusions he would ever find someone who
ignited the passion within him like Jack did. Ennis knew, if he
was honest with himself, finding such man was not something he would
ever want again. To feel for someone so strongly was
agonizing. He sometimes thought it wasn’t worth the pain.
Ennis had no expectations. He would do the best with whatever
came his way and be glad for it.
Billy moved his
horse up and rode next to Ennis for a while. Billy reached out
and Ennis bent over towards him and grasped his hand for a moment,
giving him a smile and a wink of the eye. Most of the way up into
the foothills they traveled in silence. There was so much Billy
wanted to know about Ennis. It seemed that he already told Ennis
everything there was to know about him. He knew Ennis well enough
to know he would tell him things in his own time.
"Ennis, was Alma
nice lookin? Did you love her?"
Ennis smiled to
himself, he knew the questions would start coming sooner or later.
"Yep, she was a
pretty young gal." he paused a moment, "I thought I loved
her. We was young,— just kids really."
"Ennis, who is
Jack?"
Ennis stopped
his horse and looked over at the young man, he knew the question was
not mysterious. Billy was not capable of guile.
"Where'd you
hear about Jack?"
Billy pulled his
horse over closer to Ennis. "That night we was together at your
trailer. When we were together,— you said his name."
Ennis felt his
face flush. "He was somebody I knew a long time ago. He's
dead now." he moved his horse onward,but Billy persisted.
"Did you love
him?"
“Ain't really
sure I know what love is, Billy." Ennis hedged his answer out of
embarrassment. Somehow he knew, Billy wasn't convinced.
Billy fastened
the top button of his coat. He didn't ask any more questions.
They reached the
campsite before nightfall. There were still patches of snow on
the ground, and it was getting chilly. Billy cleaned out the fire
pit and filled it with dry branches and started a fire. Ennis
pitched the tent, and rolled out their sleeping bags for them.
They ate their meal by the fire. Ennis got up and went over to
the tent, got undressed and lay on his back in the sleeping bag.
A few minutes later Billy slipped in beside him, and put his head on
Ennis's chest. They fell asleep.
When Ennis
opened his eyes, Billy was straddling him. Ennis raised his hips
and heard the sharp intake of breath.
"You don't have
to do this..." Ennis told his quietly.
Billy put his
palm on Ennis' chest and lowered himself slowly onto him. Ennis
ran his hands up the inside of Billy's thighs. He couldn’t resist
the urge to thrust upwards, deeper into him. Billy closed his
eyes and made a deep grunt. Ennis felt the warm semen land on his
chest and stomach. When he felt Billy contract he made one last
thrust and ejaculated inside him. Billy looked down at him and
said,
"I love you,
Ennis."
* * * * * * *
The old man died
on a Thursday morning during the last week of September. Sarah
and Ella were with him. A small funeral was held at the Methodist
church in Riverton, and he was buried next to Rita in the little
graveyard up on the hill behind the ranch house. A few days
before he died, Billy sat with him for a couple of hours one morning.
Billy listened to the same old stories his uncle told him over the
years. They talked about the ranch, and the weather.
"Billy, things
don't always work out like we want them to. That's what makes livin’ so
damn interesting."
Sarah offered to
stay a few more weeks in Riverton to help get things squared away, but
Billy didn't see any need in it. She returned to Texas a week
after the funeral. Ella stayed on at the house. Billy slept
in the bunkhouse and continued to do his work around the ranch. Ennis
made the trip in from Riverton each morning. He would tend to the
horses and ride out to check on the cattle in the South pastures.
Winter was coming on fast, though the snows had not yet reached down
into the sheltered valley.
A couple of
weeks after the funeral, Bobby Fulmer came out to the ranch.
Billy was chopping firewood and Ennis was down at the South
pasture. Billy looked up as Bobby got out of his car.
“I been expectin
you. I guess it's time to see what the old man decided."
Fulmer smiled and shook Billy's hand. They went into the house.
Ennis returned
to the ranch before dark. He noticed clouds moving in from the
West and figured there would be another big snowfall up in the
mountains,— maybe even a dusting at the ranch. He didn’t mind, he
liked the snow and cold. He was glad he and Billy took
their trip a few weeks back. For all he knew it may have
been their last. The past two weeks were uneasy for all of them,
not knowing what their future would be at the ranch. For all he
knew, the old man could have changed his mind and just decided to have
the lawyers sell everything off. Ennis felt bad for Billy, he
knew Billy was beating himself up for letting the old man down, but
that was water under the bridge. The future was written on some
documents in a lawyer’s desk drawer. Ennis would just roll with
the punches, but he would do all he could to help Billy accept their
fate.
As Ennis headed
towards the stables, he noticed smoke coming from the fireplace chimney
at the house. He couldn’t imagine Ella got one going, she
was always in the kitchen or her room, and Billy continued to stay in
the bunkhouse. He told Ennis it wasn’t his place to move into the
house since he turned down his uncle’s offer. He was just waiting
to get evicted by whomever took over the ranch. Ennis took his
mare into her stall and got her squared away. He decided to see
what was up at the house.
He went in
through the back, through the kitchen, as was his custom. He
never felt right going in the front door. There was no sign of
Ella, so he pushed open the swinging door that led into the living room
and poked his head in. Billy was standing in front of the
fireplace looking at the flames like he was in a trance. He
didn’t notice Ennis walk up behind him.
Ennis glanced
around to make sure nobody else was in the room, then he snuck up
behind Billy and hooked his arm around his neck and gave him a quick
kiss behind his left ear.
“Howdy,
handsome” he whispered, then he moved a few feet away, over to the
hearth, leaned against the stone mantel and looked at Billy. He took
off his hat and tossed it onto the couch. Billy still stared into
the fire with a slight smile on his lips. “You decided to move on
into the big house, huh?” Ennis said gently. Billy turned
to look at Ennis.
“Naw, I was just
gettin tired of havin to sit on top of that little stove in the
bunkhouse to get warm.”
Ennis chuckled a
little.
“Is everything
okay, buddy?”
Billy walked
over and picked up some papers on the coffee table. He handed them to
Ennis.
“Bobby Fulmer
came by today, he wanted to go over some of the legal stuff about Uncle
Vernon’s estate. Take a look.”
Ennis took the
papers, he handled them like they were a hot coal.
“I don’t know
much a’anything about legal stuff, Billy,— just tell me what it says.”
Billy took the
papers back from Ennis, and sat down in the chair Ennis sat in
the day he met with the old man. Ennis remained standing by the
fireplace,— he looked a little nervous. Billy opened the papers
and looked at them.
“Well, it’s got
a lot of stuff in here I don’t understand, but Uncle Vernon left a good
bit of money to momma and some to my brothers. He even gave some money
to Ella, Chet, and the Riverton Methodist Church.”
Ennis shifted
nervously, “What’s it got in there about you?”
Billy continued
to look down at the papers then he looked at Ennis, his eyes had tears
in them.
“He didn’t leave
any money to me, Ennis.”
Ennis felt his
heart drop.
“… but he did
give me half of all the land, buildings, the equipment and the
herd.” Billy cried softly.
Ennis went over
and patted him on the shoulder.
“That’s great
news, Billy! I knew he would do it! I’ll help you Billy,
you’ll do just fine. I promised the old man I’d stay around and
help out, and I will.” Ennis tried to get Billy to laugh.
“‘Course, I may be hit’n you up for a raise come Springtime.”
Billy laughed,
got up from the chair, and walked back in front of the fire.
“Ennis, you
wasn’t listening, I said he only left me half.”
Billy handed
Ennis the papers again. Ennis had a puzzled look on his
face. Billy said softly, “The other half,— he left to you.”
It took a moment
for what Billy said to register with Ennis. His look of
puzzlement turned to one of concern.
“I can’t take
it, Billy! H’it ain’t right!”
Ennis paced
around the room, “What the hell was that old man thinkin’!”
Billy was
surprised by Ennis’s reaction. “I thought you’d be happy,
Ennis. This means we can be together,— together here on the
ranch.”
Ennis stopped in
his tracks. “I never said we would live together Billy. I
been through this before, and it ain’t gonna happen, so just get that
thought outta’ your head!”
Billy glared at
Ennis. “Was it Jack? You said you been through this,— was
it Jack?”
Ennis felt a
stab in his heart. He almost felt like his knees were going to
buckle. He sat down on the hearth.
“It won’t work
Billy. It couldn’t work then, and it won’t work now.” Billy was
crestfallen, he never expected it would end up this way. Ennis
calmed down, “Billy, it’s all yours. I don’t want it,
buddy. I’ll work for you just like I worked for the old man,—
just tell them lawyers I don’t want it.”
Billy sat back
down in the chair. “It ain’t that easy, Ennis,— and I don’t want
your half. When everything’s finished you can just sell your
part.”
Ennis was silent
for a while. The fire crackled. “I’d never do that, Billy,—
I wouldn’t sell a piece of the spread to an outsider. If you
won’t take it, then why don’t you just buy my half ?”
Billy glared at
Ennis. “Like I said, I don’t want it! Besides, Uncle Vernon
didn’t leave me any money, only what’s in the operating account, and
that’s only enough to get us through the winter. I think he
planned on some’um like this happening.”
Ennis looked
down at his boots, his voice softened, “Yep, he was a smart man.”
Copyright 2006
Tom Forster