ENNIS
By
Tom Forster
Chapter
4
Billy liked
Ennis,— a lot. The past six weeks were the best he had in a long
time. The work was grueling but Billy enjoyed it, especially if
it meant Ennis was going to be working with him. Uncle Vernon was
right,— Ennis knew every square inch of the spread,— and beyond.
The man worked harder than anyone Billy ever saw. On the day they
were throwing out bales for the cattle, Ennis was tossing two to his
one, but he didn't even seem to get winded. Though it had been a
cool day, they took off their shirts. The hay was sticking to
their sweaty bodies. Ennis chuckled when Billy tumbled head first
off the wagon onto a heifer as he tried to keep up with his pace.
It was the first time he saw Ennis laugh since he arrived in Riverton.
"Boy, you better
work on that. Hell,— I know you said you liked to rodeo, but
that's plumb pitiful if you ask me!"
Billy beamed up
at Ennis and hopped back up on the wagon to do his share.
This was going
to be their first overnight trip up in the foothills. Billy was as
excited as a kid. He moved into the cramped little bunkhouse
apartment even though his uncle said he could stay in the main
house. Billy felt he should live and work as a ranch hand to get
the feel of the place. Vernon Sr. saw this as a good sign and
didn’t protest.
The beauty of
the place was beyond Billy's wildest expectations. When he awoke every
morning he'd pad over the cold wooden floor to the little window and
look out at the majestic mountains in the distance, still capped with
snow this time of year. He just couldn't believe a place like
this existed, and that Uncle Vernon wanted him to take it on.
Billy still felt
out of place and unworthy of consideration for such a thing.
Despite the beauty of the land and the fact he felt he could run the
place, given his years of experience, he wasn't sure if he was sold on
the idea. Hell, Ennis deserved the honor more than he did, but
Billy knew how much it meant to the old man to keep the ranch in the
family.
Billy was
packing the last of his gear when he heard Ennis' old Ford truck pull
up outside the bunkhouse. He felt the excitement rising in the
pit of his stomach. Ennis strolled slowly into the bunkhouse, his
hat low over his eyes and his hands in the pockets of his coat.
Ennis went over to the wood stove and warmed his hands, not saying a
word. Billy was used to this entrance by now. At first he
thought Ennis viewed him as a nuisance, but as Billy became a little
more familiar with his ways, he got the feeling Ennis enjoyed his
company, at least, some of the time.
"Hey, Ennis,—
I'm about ready. You think we're gonna see any weather while
we're up there?"
Billy came out
into the main room of the bunkhouse in his socks. He sat down on
one of the wooden bed frames the ranch hands used and started pulling
on his boots.
"Nope, don't
think we'll have any problems. It'll be chilly but I think we can
bed down under the stars tonight. I got everything we need.
You just be sure and wear some long johns."
Ennis went over
to the stables to get their horses ready for the journey. Billy
finished up his packing and stuck his head in the kitchen door to let
the old man know they were heading out.
Billy could
barely contain his excitement as the horses climbed up through the
trees. They traveled in silence for a while, then Billy started
talking about life back in Texas, and shared a couple of stories about
adventures he had when he was traveling around the Southwest.
"Ennis, you ever
seen the desert? Man, it's some’um else. Most people you
talk to think the desert is empty and ugly. I think it's
beautiful. It's so quiet you can hear your heartbeat."
They paused at
the clearing Ennis brought him to that first day. The vista
encompassed the river, a good bit of the lower grazing lands with the
mountains looming in the distance.
"Hell, what am I
sayin’? Nothin can beat this! Ennis, you ain't missin’
nothin in the desert."
Ennis liked
listening to Billy tell his stories. He was a good kid. Ennis
realized Billy wasn't out for anything. Barker made a good choice.
As they
approached the uplands, Ennis began to talk some. He pointed out
trails Billy would need to know for bringing the herds up to the open
range land,— trails that had been used for over a hundred years.
They stopped at a high place above a deep canyon.
“See down
there. That's a tricky part. I've lost a few on that ridge
there, and you gotta’ make sure you drive ‘em to the left of that butte
in the distance so’s they come out on the right part of the
river. It's too deep if you take ‘em on the other side. The
old man will have your hide if he hears you've drowned any of his
profit."
They didn’t
start out until close to noon, so they continued on until well after
dark. Billy could tell the horses knew the way, but he stuck
close behind Ennis just in case. It was pitch dark. Billy
could see the thin sliver of the new moon in the Southwestern
sky. He couldn’t believe how many stars there were. A lot
more than he could see on a moonless night at the lake outside of
Weatherford. By the time they reached the camp site Billy was
starting to feel the chill of the early May night.
If Ennis had
been on his own he would have continued for a couple more hours to the
high camp, but he could tell Billy was getting tired. The kid hadn’t
said one word in over an hour, so Ennis took it to be a good indicator
they should over night at this lower camp site.
It was a good
spot, sheltered from the wind with plenty of dry kindling scattered
around the nearby trees so they could quickly get a fire started.
To the south, if it had been light, they could have seen down to the
river in the far distance. To the north, the cold, high peaks of
the mountains loomed.
They tied off
the horses and took down their saddles and packs. Ennis got Billy to
gather up some dry branches and stack them in the fire pit Ennis used
many times over the years. Before long they had a good fire
going. Ennis brought along some beef jerky, a couple of cans of
soup and some bread. Beans were no longer on the menu. They
unrolled their bedding and sat by the fire eating their meal.
“Damn, this sure
is good soup Ennis. My stomach was chewing on itself I was so
hungry.”
Billy broke off
some bread a dipped it in the plate of thick soup.
After they
finished their meal, Ennis went over to check on the horses and Billy
stretched out on his bed blankets with his head propped up on his
saddle. The fire was going good now. Ennis was in the
shadows near the trees, just outside the glow of the campfire, where
Billy couldn’t see him. He watched Billy pull off his boots and
stick his feet near the fire to warm them.
Ennis thought
Billy looked real handsome. The glow of the fire was shining in
his dark red hair, casting shadows across the fine features of his
face; his strong nose, chin, and full lips. Ennis noticed
Billy bulked up some since he got to Riverton. His chest and arms
strained against the now too small flannel shirt.
This reminded
Ennis of those first nights up on Brokeback before he and Jack were
together the first time. He’d sneak looks at Jack when he wasn’t
aware, admiring him, the line of his jaw, the way his dark hair curled
behind his ears, the muscles in his neck, his hands, the blue beam of
Jack’s eyes that could penetrate into his soul. A lonesome howl
in the distance broke the silence of the cold, thin mountain air.
“Y’all got
coyotes up here, too, huh?” Billy twisted his head in Ennis’s
direction.
Ennis walked
back into the glow and squatted by the fire warming his hands.
“Ain’t no
coyote,— ‘at’s a wolf. They’re making a comeback in these
parts. We’ve lost quite a few head of cattle to ‘em the past
couple a years.” Ennis got up and went over to his bed roll on
the opposite side of the fire from Billy. He buttoned up his
jacket and laid down with his hat and boots still on.
“Ennis, you been
married before, ain’t you? Uncle Vernon mentioned something about
you havin’ a daughter living just outside of Riverton.”
“Yep, I’s
married,— long time ago. I got two daughters. One of ‘em
moved down South and I don’t hear from her much any more.”
Ennis folded his
arms across his chest, it was colder than he had planned on.
“I ain’t never
been married,— never even come close. Hell, I’m ashamed to say
it, but I only been with two girls in my life and neither one of ‘em
lasted too long. Thirty five years old,— ain’t that pitiful!”
Ennis smiled to
himself. They were silent for a while.
“Ennis,— you
ever killed a man?”
Ennis couldn’t
figure why Billy would ask him something like that. He wanted to say,
“Yep, I killed a man. It took twenty years to do it, but he was
dead just the same.” Instead he replied, “Not that I know of.”
Billy was
quiet. Ennis pulled his blanket up to his chin and began to feel
the warmth of the fire sinking in. Billy then said in a low voice.
“I killed a
man. I didn’t mean to, but I did it.” The he rolled over
with his back towards Ennis. They both drifted off to sleep.
Ennis hadn’t
slept through a full night since Jack died. He usually drifted
off to sleep for a couple of hours only to wake suddenly for no
apparent reason. He still had dreams of Jack. They weren’t
as frequent as in those early years. A few months would go by
without one, only to return with a vengeance, sometimes causing Ennis
to awaken with a yelp; sometimes to awaken with tears running down his
face.
Ennis opened his
eyes and listened for the harmonica,— only silence and the low snorting
of the horses. It was still way too early to head out. He
lifted up his head and looked over to where Billy was sleeping, all
balled up in his blankets, his back still facing Ennis. The fire
had died down to a pile of glowing embers. Ennis sat up and
pulled up the collar of his coat. It had to be in the teens, but
at least there was no wind. Ennis quietly got up and walked over
to Billy, he could see he was shivering in the cold. He got more
wood from the pile they gathered earlier and placed it in the
pit. The moist wood began to spit, but slowly the flames
reappeared. Ennis laid back down on his bedding and pulled his
blankets over his head. Billy stirred and rolled over in Ennis’s
direction.
“Shit, it’s
cold! God dang it! I ain’t accustomed to this! Dammit
Ennis, why didn’t we at least bring a tent with us?”
Ennis pulled his
blanket from his face.
“This ain’t
nothin,’ wait ‘til you get a feel of thirty below. I told you to
put on some long johns. I guess you Texas cowboys are too good to
sleep with your boots on.”
“God dang it,
Ennis,— I ain’t got no long johns!”
Ennis laughed
out loud. He thought a couple of minutes.
“Okay, buddy,
get on over here,— I’ll help you out, and put them boots back on!”
Billy scrambled
to his feet with his blankets draped over his head and shoulders.
He jammed on his boots and shuffled over to Ennis.
“Get down here
next to me. It’ll be warmer that way.”
Ennis lifted up
his blankets and scooted over so Billy could lay down next to
him. Billy wrapped his own blankets around himself and laid down
with his back to Ennis, who then covered the both of them with his own
heavy blanket. Billy was facing the fire.
“Thanks friend,”
Billy said, “I don’t think I could ‘a lasted much longer.”
Ennis rolled in
the opposite direction, pulled down his hat and tucked his chin in his
coat. After a while Ennis could feel Billy’s body relaxing and
the young man’s whole back side started leaning into his. It felt
good to have Billy’s warm body next to him, even if it was separated by
thick layers of clothing. Sometimes Ennis used to wake up in the
night, on their camping trips, just to watch Jack sleep.
He loved hearing
the deep breaths and being able to look at Jack up close without him
knowing, he would sometimes stroke Jack’s hair. It was not long
until he could hear Billy’s steady breathing. Ennis couldn’t help
himself, he just got this sudden urge that he had to give into.
He gently rolled back over so that he was facing Billy’s back side, and
he moved in close. Ennis lifted himself up quietly on one elbow
and looked over to make sure Billy was asleep. He lowered himself
back down and propped his head just behind Billy’s and slowly moved
closer until his nose brushed the hair at the base of Billy’s
neck. He inhaled slowly and deeply. Billy’s warm musky
scent comforted Ennis, and he drifted back to sleep.
Billy stared at
the flames. This reminded him of that night he let his leg lean
into Chad’s. Tears welled up in his eyes. He listened to
Ennis’s deep breaths,— he felt safe.
Copyright 2006
Tom Forster