ENNIS
By
Tom Forster
Chapter
3
Ennis always
hated shaving. Luckily his beard was not too heavy so he could
get by with three times a week. As he stood naked from the waist
up before the mirror, razor in hand, he took a good long look at
himself,— something he hadn’t done in many a year,— though he
unconsciously avoided looking himself in the eyes. Ennis felt he
looked fairly good for a man of fifty one.
He’d stopped
smoking some years back when Alma Jr. started fussing at him about it,
and he was not heavy on the bottle. He knew too well what that
could do to a man. Nope, ‘not bad,’ he thought. He still
had most of his hair. Though it was thinner than in his youth,
there was surprisingly little gray. His skin was weathered from
years of exposure to the elements but his body was still that of a much
younger man, thanks to years of hard work.
Ennis could
still out lift any of the young ranch hands who came to the Barker
place for seasonal work. Occasionally, over the years, he had to
settle things with his fists, and it had been a long while since he was
on the losing end. He’d often wondered what Jack saw in him,—
what was it that cued Jack off to make him think Ennis might be willing
to be with him like that?
Of course, he
was glad Jack made the first move because he doubted he ever would
have. The memory of those nights on Brokeback, and the camping
trips for almost twenty years are what kept him going these past
dozen,— but was it enough? Ennis didn’t know and didn’t want to
think about it and pushed it to the back of his head. He was a
man on auto pilot.
Ennis packed his
ruck sack for an over nighter up in the foothills. He’d have to show
Billy some of the early summer grazing land and it wouldn’t be long
after that before the cattle would have to be put out to open range. He
figured he wouldn’t need much. The weather was milder than usual,
and they should be able to sleep out in the open with just a fire to
take off the chill.
Ennis opened the
closet door to get down his heavy jacket. He almost didn’t notice
the shirts anymore. They’d become a permanent fixture, but for
some reason they struck him hard in the face today. He looked at
the bloodstained sleeves. Could it really have been over thirty
years ago since he and Jack fought up on Brokeback Mountain?
He remembered
how angry he felt when Jack told him Aguirre was pulling them out
early. He told Jack it wasn’t right for the bastard to cheat them
out of a month’s pay, but now he knew why he was so mad. The
happiest days he’d ever known were being cut short, and he hit Jack
hard to make the going down off the mountain easier for both of
them. He could still remember the hurt look on Jack’s face when
he told him he wouldn’t be back the next summer, and the sudden panic
and fear in his gut as he tried to walk away like he didn’t care.
A knock on the door brought him out of his trance.
“Hey, little
darlin! What you doin out here?” Alma Jr. was standing on
his stoop.“Get on in here, where’s the babies?”
Alma Jr. was
still a pretty girl despite the hard knocks she experienced. Her
husband, Kurt, was no good,— couldn’t hold down a job. Alma Jr.
had three kids before she was thirty. She got a part time job to
help make ends meet. Of course, Ennis couldn’t say anything about
it because her mother had to do the same thing when they were still
together. One thing Ennis didn’t worry about was Kurt ever
hitting Alma Jr. Kurt knew he’d be a dead man if it ever happened.
“Hey, Daddy,—
Kurt’s got the kids for a few hours. I just wanted to check in on
you. I sure wish you’d get a phone.”
Alma kissed
Ennis on the cheek and wiped away some shaving cream by his ear.
Alma noticed the closet door was open. She never asked Ennis
about the shirts, but she knew one of them belonged to Jack Twist.
“You goin on a
trip?”
Ennis gently
closed the closet door and stuffed his jacket into his pack.
“Just an over
niter with the new kid. He’s learnin the ranchin’ business, and
I’m showin him the ropes.”
“That’s great,
Daddy,— Barker works you too hard. I’m glad you got some
help. Is he from around here?”
“Nope, he’s
Barker’s nephew come up from Texas. He’s a good kid,— well,
he ain’t no kid,—”
Alma Jr. had
been Ennis’s only real reason for living after Jack was gone,
especially those first couple of years, and the grand young’uns were
good kids, they even stayed over night with him in the trailer
sometimes. Alma Jr. never said anything to Ennis, but Jack was
always an unspoken presence between them. Ennis could barely
think about Jack in his head without getting emotional. Talking
about him with anyone wasn’t an option in Ennis’s book.
“Honey, I gotta
get goin.’ You need anything?”
Ennis looked at
Alma’s sweet face, but he couldn't help but feel inadequate to help
her. He pulled a twenty from his jeans pocket and pressed it into
her hand.
“Thank you,
Daddy,— I promise I’ll pay you back. It’s just…”
Ennis hugged his
daughter close and walked her out to her car. It was always hard
for Ennis to see her go. He watched her car going down the long
empty road until he couldn’t make it out any more, then he loaded his
truck and headed out to the ranch.
Copyright 2006
Tom Forster