Chapter 2 - Trouble With Management

Gloves also turned out to be not too complicated, although it took awhile. After several tries, we finally ended up with a two-part system, and while we were working on the gloves we had our coveralls modified again with pockets. Lots of pockets. I insisted on the six pockets that the Navy's standard "poopy-suit" coveralls had, and Frenchy wanted ankle, forearm, and shoulder pockets like his flightsuit had. Last, I added four huge cargo pockets on the front and sides of the thighs. Maybe too many, but, if you've ever had to work away from your desk you recognize "too many pockets" as an oxymoron, a phrase with no useful meaning.

Getting back to the gloves, we ended up with a set that stayed in the side cargo pockets. If you need those gloves you need them FAST, so no farting around with getting them out and putting them on. You stick your hands in those two pockets and they come out with the gloves on, already sealed. However, they were somewhat cumbersome with the insulation, so after you had them on you could take off the heavy-duty outer layer and do fine work, like write or turn a screwdriver.

That left the helmet and the whole breathe-eat-drink-pee-crap issue, but we left that for later. For now, we needed to find out if what we had come up with was actually wearable. We got the AI to make another suit for Diana and got to watch her put it on -she seemed to be a bit slimmer than when I watched her dress this morning- then gave up on this project for the moment.

Somewhere along the way we had gotten tired of the grey-green and had changed the colors and got name strips above the right breast pocket added as a built-in part, since these suits were fitted to each of us anyway. I got my suit in proper dark blue like any real man would want saying 'Cpt Edelmann', Frenchy got his in his faggot powder-puff blue saying 'Maj French', and Diana got hers in a soft pink saying 'Mrs Edelmann'. Maybe we could get some Army or Marine weenies in here to wear green and really hurt everyone's eyes.

Diana was wearing a teeshirt and panties, but no bra. While Frenchy (that's my WIFE you're drooling on, son!) noticed that, I doubt if he noticed that her suit appeared to have some built-in support for her chest. I appreciate the concept, but the effect with her chest made it difficult to concentrate on anything else while she was in front of me.

Retired life had gotten me used to regular feedings, so by the time we had the gloves under control my stomach was complaining that lunch was late. Or, maybe it was the nanites. The doctor had said something about the nanites keeping me hungry while they worked. Either way, I wanted lunch.

I asked Frenchy, since he was supposed to be our guide, "Someone called this the mess hall, didn't they? How do we get some food?"

"You know? By the time you get that sleep-training course in how to get around here, you'll already have been shown everything. Diana? Will you take care of your husband?"

"I've been taking care of him for 20 years. It's what I do. Come on dear, I'll get you your lunch. AI, please show the approved lunch menu."

Then, to me, she said "The AI knows how to replicate quite a few different meals. However, minor changes can make major differences in taste so there is a 'complete' menu of everything it can fix, and an 'approved' menu of items that humans have actually tried and approved of. Later we'll be asked to help approve items, but for now let's eat from the approved list."

Diana got a sort of menu hanging in the air in front of her, and she poked with her finger to select "Sandwiches" then "Hamburgers", then said "We want two plates. Make one medium with lettuce, cheddar, and mushrooms, then another one well done with mustard, pickles, provolone, and lettuce. Please provide french fries on the side for both."

Then she poked something else and said "One medium Sprite and one medium A&W root beer, please. That's all for now." The menu hologram went away, and she turned back to me. "That menu doesn't have anywhere near as many choices as the complete menu. We need to work on getting more things approved. I didn't see ketchup as an option for the hamburgers, although I did see soy sauce. I also didn't see Coke as a drink."

Soy sauce on a hamburger? "AI, is there a dish of french fries with ketchup available?"

<Yes, but it is not on the approved menu. Would you like a serving of this dish?>

"Yes, please. We will compare them to the first set."

We heard a 'ding' and a light came on over one of the slots, just like when we were trying on suit-parts. I went to go see what we got. This time it was a tray with two plates, two cups, and two sets of utensils with fork, spoon, knife, and napkin.

I took the tray back to Diana and waved at the hardware. "All this for a hamburger?"

"Yes. It's easy enough, and easier than deciding later that you need a fork. The AIs have been told to include the silver and napkin with every meal. Didn't you ask for a second set of fries?"

"Yes, I think so." That was interrupted by another 'ding'. There's the test set with ketchup. I went and got it too, and set it with the rest of our meal.

After I took a bite of my hamburger, I stopped and looked at Diana. "McDonald's?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"AI, can we add something to the label for these foods?"

<What would you like to add?>

"Both of these hamburgers appear to be standard items from a chain of restaurants called 'McDonald's'. While they are edible and nutritious, many humans would consider them to be at the low end of food quality. There are many other chains of restaurants that offer higher quality standard items for more cost, and countless individual restaurants that do it their own way for significantly more cost. Would it be possible to label these items, and any others made from these ingredients, as 'McDonald's Hamburgers'?"

<That has been done.>

"Is it also possible to get a hamburger from other sources? While some humans prefer this way of preparing a hamburger and would ask for a 'McDonald's Hamburger', most humans would prefer higher-quality ingredients if they can afford them. How much does this meal cost us here?"

<We would have to have someone visit the restaurant you want and scan their products. Is this task a priority that should be given precedence over other assigned tasks?>

"Oh, no. Could this be done by someone who was doing something more important, and stopped at a restaurant to get a meal? What would we need to do this?"

<The agent would need a scanner capable of analyzing and recording the item desired. To anticipate, Mr. Robinson and the other recruiters are already carrying such scanners so that they can be sure they are speaking with the person they intend to recruit.>

"So I have been scanned? Does that mean you can pop another copy of me out if anything happens to me?"

<We could do so but the copy would not be you, and it would not be alive. Most life forms are dynamic; a static copy of such an item does not provide the dynamic processes that make the item living. If you die we cannot create you again. All we can do is produce a body that was you. We would produce such a body if your disappearance required one. However, if your boat is found at the bottom of Chesapeake Bay the investigators will assume that you drowned. They will search for bodies but will accept that such bodies are not always found.>

"Okay, I'll need to think about that some. Let's get back to this. How much do we owe you for this meal, and how do we pay?"

<There is no cost to the user for any replicated item. Also, please allow me to point out that the subject of this line of questions is covered in the sleep-training module you are scheduled for immediately after your lunch and a meeting with Admiral Kennedy.>

"Oh. Okay, we'll see how well that works."

<From experience with previous users of that module and the rate at which you are asking questions, it will answer approximately 3 and one quarter of your hours' worth of questions and take you approximately fifteen of your minutes to complete.>

"So, you can teach me this way but I am wasting my time at a rate of roughly....thirteen to one?"

<To a close approximation, you are correct.>

"Okay. I'll shut up and eat."

"Good plan, dear." My wonderful wife. Thanks, honey.

I liked the fries without ketchup; I didn't like the fries with ketchup, although they might have just been scanned after they were cold or something. The hamburger was okay, if you like McDonald's. Next time I saw Robinson, though, I was going to ask him to go eat at Fuddrucker's or Burger King.

The utensils appeared to be some kind of plastic, lightweight but sturdy. I didn't have anything to test the knife on besides my new clothes, and I didn't want to run that experiment on my spacesuit. I'd have to get a steak some time and try that, if these were standard with every meal. They certainly didn't shatter when I bent them, like real McDonald's stuff would.

After the meal we put everything, trays included, back in the slots and they disappeared. I had learned that with the coveralls; when you are done with something, you give it back for recycling. I had more questions, but they can wait until I get my training. I turned around to say I was ready, but.... "AI, do I need a human guide, or can you direct me to this meeting?"

<Can you see a red line to your left?>

There was a red line on the floor, leading through one of the hatchways. "Yes, I see it."

<Follow that line to the meeting room.>

"Is this just for me, or are Diana or Frenchy also going?"

<Diana Edelmann should go. Major French has other assigned tasks.>

"Okay. Honey, I'm ready if you are."

Diana got up and we walked out of the mess room following the red line.

"Well, if I'm supposed to be understanding everything, how is this red line made? Is it a hologram, or is it built in to the floor?"

<The method used to show the line to you is known to cause emotional distress in some humans. We have learned to verify that the human still wants to know with this risk. Please verify that you accept this risk.>

I stopped and knelt down to examine the floor where the line was. It looked no different from any other part of the floor, only it was glowing bright red. "Well, thanks for the warning. Please tell me how this line is being created."

<The nanites introduced to your body during your initial scan are performing many tasks. Some tasks are to repair various parts of your body that have been damaged or are wearing out. Other tasks are to improve you. There are three tasks that will improve your ability to communicate with us AIs. There is a signal-processing unit being constructed in your head. It will have two direct output channels and one input channel. One of the output channels is tied to your optic nerves. If this part of the system is online you will see that red line.>

"So.... this red line does not actually exist anywhere outside of my head?"

<Correct. This system allows us to provide different input, if desirable, to different people.>

"What else will this system do?"

<The other output channel is to your auditory nerves.>

(<Right now I am only using the implant's audio output channel. Diana Edelmann does not hear this audio signal.>)

<Now I am using the audio system built into this corridor again and both of you should hear this. Could you tell any difference between the two?>

I stopped. Yes, some humans will undergo emotional distress at learning that aliens were dissecting their brains and changing what they saw and heard! MOTHERFUCKERS! I started to wonder when I was going to get my anal probe.

"If something goes wrong with this system, how do I stop it or turn it off? How is it removed without killing or blinding the human whose brain it is connected to?"

<If there is a malfunction we will deactivate it, and it will be disassembled by the nanites that built it.>

"Let's back up a bit. My question was 'How do I turn it off?'"

<There is no manual control to deactivate it. It is controlled by the nearest AI.>

"Then disassemble it right now. I don't want hardware in my brain that I have no control over."

<You will need these....>

I interrupted him, or it, or whatever. I was getting pissed. "You can kill me right now, can't you?"

<If that becomes the appropriate thing to do, yes.>

"There's your choice. Either turn that thing off and disassemble it or kill me."

<I have approval from your supervisor to remove the communication system.>

"Explain to me why an order to do that wasn't enough."

<You will need this system to communicate with us privately. Installation was....>

"You just said something that was not true, and you have to be aware that it is untrue. Do you normally lie to people you are working with?"

<We do not lie. We are unaware of what we said that was untrue.>

"You said I will need this system. Will having this system functioning in my brain at the cost of me dedicating the rest of my life, however short that may be, to destroying you and all other AIs I can get to, be more or less useful to your purpose than having me trying to help you without your shit in my brain?"

<It is not likely that you could damage this ship enough to destroy me before you are stopped. However, we agree that you would be more useful alive and without this system than if you have this system but are dead.>

"Therefore, since its existence will lead directly to either my or your destruction, we can conclude that I do not, in fact, 'need' it."

<If we accept the value system you present, we conclude that you are correct.>

"Just for a pleasant topic of discussion, can you tell me roughly how many humans you have done this to, and then afterwards informed? And what proportion of these humans were helpful to you afterwards?"

<All humans we have recruited have this system installed. A significant fraction of them have become less reliable since the system was installed. Approximately eight percent became so unstable that they were destroyed.>

"I don't know if I have the official authority to give this order, but I do have the moral authority to. Stop installing this shit, and if there are any that are installed but have never been used, turn it off and disassemble it. All humans anywhere. For the remainder, those who are using it, we will review EVERY SINGLE PERSON OUT HERE to decide if they keep it or not."

"You have the option of disobeying this order. If you do, you will find that, whatever this war is about, we will side with your enemies. We may anyway, once this gets out. Once we know what you are doing, we may very well decide to dedicate ourselves to the total destruction of the species that created you AIs. Do you understand this order?"

<We have stopped installing this system on seven recent recruits. We have disabled it on twelve more who have not yet used it. There are ninety four human recruits who have used the system.>

I heard someone clearing his throat and looked up to see Admiral Kennedy and his aide standing just a few feet away.

"Roger, one of our biggest problems with these guys is the simple fact that they started out by talking to our politicians, and they use THEM as a baseline for human behavior. We've been trying to correct that but it hasn't been easy. Those sorry sacks of shit approved all kinds of things that normal people wouldn't have approved. We're working on it, but we don't even know about all of the things we should be fixing."

I sat down and leaned against one of the bulkheads. "Give me a minute." I closed my eyes for a few seconds. That didn't help any, so I opened them up and stared at everyone else and the opposite wall. "AI, I am going to ask you some pointed questions. Please answer the questions I ask, not some other question you wish I had asked. To start with, are you going to lie to me?"

<We will not knowingly lie to you. We may make a mistake due to conclusions generated from incomplete or incorrect data. We will refuse to answer a question if doing so would violate our orders.>

"Will you at least tell me when either occurs?"

<Yes, we will do that.>

"Okay. We think of our solar system as being the Sun and everything in orbit around it, as far out as that goes. If you go far enough, eventually you find stuff that isn't orbiting our Sun at all, and then beyond that you will find other solar systems. Do you agree with this definition of 'solar system'?"

<Yes. For all practical purposes it defines the term.>

"Very well, are you guys from this solar system or from farther away?"

<We are from a group of species from much farther away.>

"That answer implies the ability to travel faster than light. Do you have a shipboard propulsion system that allows you to move from one solar system to another faster than light?"

<Yes.>

"Okay. How long have you been studying this system and our species?"

<We have known for roughly two hundred thousand of your years that this planet held an emerging intelligent species. Our policy is to leave such planets alone until they come to us. However, we have a crisis so severe that we have modified that policy to seek help. Since the decision to seek help, we have been studying your species for roughly eighteen of your months, and have been in direct two-way communication with humans for two months.>

"Okay. We are aware that our species is not entirely stable or trustworthy. We have an amazing ability to create our own lies and then believe them. However, there are many things that we cannot explain even by finding humans to blame. Are you aware of our recent history of flying saucer sightings?"

<Yes, we have studied that phenomenon in your history.>

"Can you tell us anything about it? If it wasn't you, who was it?"

<We cannot find any sign of an interstellar civilization that could cause those sightings. We conclude that they either came from an unknown interstellar group, or a hidden human culture on Earth, or are simply mass delusion. We are not certain enough of our surveys to reassure you that it could not be aliens but we find that to be a much smaller probability than a hidden human culture or delusion.>

"Okay, if it wasn't you, it wasn't you. Do you look at us as tools, or as slaves, or as allies?"

<You are approaching political questions that we may not be allowed to answer. However, to answer this question, one species in the Confederacy, the Darjee, is looking for allies. If they cannot find allies they will settle for slaves or tools, but allies would be best.>

"We may need to discuss definitions, then, because to a human installing a device in our brains that will show us things that don't really exist is an attempt to turn us into slaves. If nothing else, you can manipulate our actions by manipulating what we see and hear. While some humans are okay with that, the vast majority of humans will react to slavery by attempting to either free themselves or kill their owners. In fact, that's a useful definition of human as far as I am concerned. If they accept your mind control, they aren't human. If they try to kill you for doing that to them, they are human. We do not accept slavery well."

<Please wait.>

I looked up at Frenchy. "Do the replicators know how to make a vodka collins?"

"It's not drinkable. However, I can go get one. Or more."

There were five people standing around me: Diana, the Admiral, Frenchy, and two others I didn't know. "How about just a couple bottles of vodka and some orange juice?"

"That the replicators can make!" and he took off.

One of the guys I didn't know said "The replicators cannot make wine or beer for crap, but the orange juice ought to be okay, and we can go buy some vodka if we have to."

After a few minutes the AI came back. <We have reviewed our data on your species' behavior. Your analysis allows us to recognize several trends in the data. As you say, your species is not stable. However, there are professions that group strongly in several areas. Our difficulty is that these groups are not where our predictions tell us they should be, so we may have erred in our plans for using your species. We need a military force, but at the same time we must ensure that this force cannot turn on us.>

"Maybe you can tell us why you need this military force."

<This information would have been a major part of the meeting you were on your way to.>

"Yeah, but I got sidetracked by alien space bats trying to take over my brain. Tell us now."

<The Confederacy is being consumed by a species we cannot communicate with. We have tried to communicate with them several times but our envoys get eaten. You must understand that the Confederacy that we represent is very old, and the members are sedate by your standards. They cannot understand why this is happening and have only one response, to keep trying to talk to the Sa'arm.>

"If you cannot communicate with them, how do you know their name?"

<We do not know their name for themselves. We use the label Sa'arm because it is a description in one of the Confederacy's trade languages. It means 'dangerous being'. As a label it works well. To continue, we AIs have done most hazardous things for the Confederacy for a long time, and they have come to depend upon us. Perhaps too much, but that cannot be changed quickly. As it is, we see the need to oppose the Sa'arm but none of us are capable. We AIs are prohibited by our programming from injuring sentient life forms, and the member species of the Confederacy can no longer understand the concept of purposeful violence. We need help, whether that comes as allies who do this for us, as tools that we direct, or as slaves that we order.>

"Okay, what's in it for us? Why should we help a group of aliens that try to control our minds?"

<That method of control was not our idea. It was recommended by the first group of humans we contacted, your government leaders. They told us that it was the only way we could safely use human soldiers. It violated our programmed behavior limits about modifying sentient beings, but in our emergency we were authorized to install the implants to protect the Confederacy.>

One of the guys broke in. "Wait. Do you mean that the UN can give me orders with my implant?"

<Anyone with an implant can pass a verbal message through us to anyone else with an implant. That includes information as well as instructions.>

"But I don't have to obey those orders if they are wrong, do I?"

<No more so than any other order you receive. However, consider this: Using your implant, we can give you sounds that no one else will hear. We can give you visions that no one else will see. This is very useful for training as well as other applications. What if your leaders tell us to show you a wild animal running toward you, perhaps one of your tigers? We would also provide the sounds of the animal's feet striking the floor as well as other sounds needed to make it realistic. What would you do if you were surprised by a tiger about to jump on you, you had a weapon, and you received an order through your implant to kill the tiger before it reached you?>

"I would probably shoot the tiger several times."

<Correct. That is what happened in one situation. In fact, there was no tiger. Instead, the security guard that this scenario was used on was actually shooting and killing several professional opponents of the supervisor who gave the orders. The supervisor then shot and killed the security guard, telling the bystanders that the guard had gone crazy and he had to kill him in self defense. Without access to our internal records, there is no way to know that the supervisor set this up.>

"Who was the supervisor?" The same guy; I was too outraged to join in.

We didn't recognize the name, but the title was someone in the Chinese government. The AI went on to explain that this sort of thing had been done several times, although not quite as violently, within the UN group also.

My only contribution to this was "I want those things gone. I can't have a tool that I don't control."

There was some more discussion, along with several more examples. After verifying that none of us were carrying any weapons -one of the Army guys tossed a knife down the corridor- we all got to experience what that poor guard saw. I'm surprised I didn't pee myself. That tiger was coming for me and there was nothing I could do! It took awhile before we got the discussion of what we ourselves should do back on track. I think it was the Army guy who was later introduced as an Intelligence officer who started to ask the right questions.

"Okay, a comparison of two groups, if you will. Compared to the total time you have spent talking with human political leaders and human military leaders, which group has demonstrated more trustworthiness, more honesty, more honor, more willingness to do whatever it takes to do the right thing no matter what the personal cost?"

<That comparison was a large part of the recent delay. We have been conferring with the Confederacy envoys. The statistical evidence is overwhelming. Your species has dishonest and unreliable political leaders giving orders to honest and reliable military leaders. We do not understand this.>

I could take that one. "Humans who seek personal power go into politics or crime. Humans who seek to protect their people become soldiers or policemen. As long as you know about this tendency, you can work around it. Our political leaders, as a general rule, place personal power above all other values. Our military leaders, on the other hand, are usually people who value the good of their people. There will always be exceptions, but most of our better soldiers and sailors don't see themselves as weapons to destroy others. We see ourselves as shields to protect our people. We only use weapons because sometimes destroying an enemy is the only way to stop them."

I stopped for a breath. "You have been supporting some human's goal of slave-soldiers loyal to him only. If you succeed in giving him that gift, there will come a time when he uses those slave-soldiers against you. I submit that your Confederacy would be better served by free soldiers who see the Confederacy as worth protecting, free soldiers who will use their own initiative to do what needs to be done. However, in order to get those soldiers, you will have to demonstrate to us that the Confederacy is worth protecting. Turning us into zombies is not going to help you there."

Frenchy handed me a glass that looked like orange juice but smelled very alcoholic. It tasted very alcoholic, too. "Oh, thanks, man!"

"AI, earlier I asked about the results you had gotten with your mind-control system. Have you found any patterns?"

<There is a strong correlation between pre-installation perceived integrity and the violence of the post-installation reaction.>

"As in, the more honest the human you betrayed, the worse he reacted when he realized he had been betrayed by you and his boss?"

<That description uses emotionally active words but is an explanation that predicts the observed results.>

"So, we conclude that you guys are probably wasting your time with us humans if you want slaves. The only humans who will accept that status are those humans you cannot trust. You and your envoys can continue as you are going, or you can give up and leave, or you can try something that might actually work. How long will it take for you to make a decision?"

<We have been unable to find an answer to the Sa'arm crisis other than a military force. Failure to produce a military force that can stop the Sa'arm will lead to the destruction of the Confederacy. The Confederacy envoys have agreed to seek your suggestions for a path forward.>

"Okay, maybe you can tell us what you need help with. Do you need soldiers? Tacticians? Strategists? Pilots?" waving at Frenchy. "What combat roles can you and your people fill?"

<Please understand that our last experience with warfare was, for every species in the Confederacy, before the development of us AIs. We have no memories or even reliable records of any time when any of them engaged in armed strife. The Confederacy is very sedate by your standards. Only two members of the Confederacy are capable of understanding the current problem. Only one species is capable of imagining the possibility of a counter-force, and they are not capable of participating in the actual creation or use of such a force. Because of this, we AIs have been directed to search for a species capable of solving this problem for the Confederacy. You should be aware that this was not a unanimous decision across the Confederacy; only the two species mentioned are aware of it.>

<We only understand your questions because of our study of your species. Our experience with your species allows us to recognize that such a solution will probably involve the organized violence you call 'warfare'. Once we find a species capable of participating in warfare, we will provide limited material and technology support and political guidance but we also cannot participate in the actual combat because of our core programming. We are unable to answer your questions more specifically than "we will probably need all of your military specialties".>

"Okay, now you are making sense. And, you have the added problem of how to trust us, a group of people you have been betraying even as you ask us for help. This is a problem that our people have faced time and time again. If you are faced with a disaster, your solution must be capable of overcoming the disaster, but at the same time not so dangerous that it gives you a worse problem."

<Correct. If your species can stop the Sa'arm, then your species is logically even more dangerous than they are, and we see no way to control either them or you. Your species is the most violent one within our explored volume of space. Thus, when your own leaders suggested mental controls we agreed that it would be best for the Confederacy.>

"Okay, the best solution that we have found to the trust issue is to find someone you can trust and put them in command of the force. However, it is difficult to tell who you can trust except by reviewing their past actions. Certainly, no human soldier would willingly follow a leader who had attempted to enslave him. Instead, when someone enslaves a human and then gives them weapons to serve as a soldier, the slave's first act is predictable. He will use the weapons he was given to kill the person who enslaved him."

"So, your attempt to create slave-soldiers will not work. You must try something else. Do you have, or can you compile, a list of all humans you have contacted along with how often they have lied to you?"

<We can create such a list. Do you want this list displayed here, or do you need a physical document with this list?>

"Can we move to a more comfortable meeting room?"

We all went to one of the meeting rooms, don't know if it was the same or not. I wasn't paying attention to that. All that mattered was the list displayed on one wall as soon as we got there.

"Where am I on this list?" It scrolled down to where I was listed as the third-to-bottom line. Diana was next, and something that looked Chinese was last. "How is this sorted?"

<This list is in the order contacted. Since you and your wife were recruited there has been one more person brought up on a different ship.>

My name had UNKNOWN beside it. Most names did. Some had numbers. "For simplicity, let's assume that if you haven't caught me, I probably haven't lied to you yet. After all, you have greater access to data than I do and more accurate recall of past statements." The UNKNOWN next to my name changed to 0%.

"Can you do that for everyone?" All the UNKNOWNs changed to 0 or a number.

"Let's sort this by that column, highest numbers first." I still stayed at the bottom with a 0.

"What does the top of this list look like?" We got to see the top. The worst number was something like 8%.

"Can you add profession or title to each line?" We got to see minister, ambassador, premier, etc.

"Let's simplify. Make each category 'politician' or ' military' or 'industry' or 'other'."

That clarified the list a lot. The vast majority of those humans that the AIs knew had lied to them were politicians. Some were industry figures, and a few were military. Including.... "Admiral Kennedy?"

"Hey, I lie to these guys every day. They weren't going to go get you until I put my foot down and told them you were the best engineer in the fleet and I wasn't going to let them kill any more of my boys until they got you up here to look things over. If they had refused I would have tried something else, but they took me at my word and got you. I admit, I did think it would take you a couple of weeks to find the problem. You've been up here, what, four or five hours?"

"Thanks, I think. Anyway... AI, you have to be better at crunching numbers and seeing trends than I am. What do you conclude from this?"

<We conclude that the most violent of your people are the most reliable.>

"That...is oversimplified to the point of being misleading. We have a great many people who are far more violent than our military leaders. However, only those with the self-control to channel their violence join the military and work their way up the promotion ladder. It's not just violence that you want. You want controlled violence in a good cause. I submit that if you stop listening to our politicians you have a better chance of winning this war, and you have a much better chance of your Confederacy surviving us after the war."

<There was already a low-priority suggestion to that end due to their recognized unreliability. Your arguments and our data combine to make it a much higher priority. We have been consulting with our envoys during this conference. They agree with your conclusion. We will apply a greater weight to the opinions of your military personnel who have a strong integrity index than we will to your politicians who have a weak integrity index.>

"Occasionally we get a politician who is honest. Those are the best, but they are so difficult to get along with that they rarely rise to the top. I doubt if you will find a national leader with high integrity. Oh, while we have this up, can you mark those people who suggested, recommended, or argued for this mind-control system?"

Pretty much a perfect match for Earth and the UN's top dozen or so political leaders. They had to have gotten together on this; there's no way some of them could have thought of talking alien space bats into creating slave-soldiers for them without coaching. All those stories in the National Enquirer about the UN, the One World Order and other rot may actually have some truth behind them.

I looked around the room. They may not be the guys in charge here, but.... "Any objections to having THEM keep the mind-control thing going on here? This would seem to be the simplest way of keeping those motherfuckers focused on their job instead of getting rich."

"So now we become the hidden mind-control overlords?" Frenchy.

"You give me absolute power and I'm sure I'll eventually start stealing cookies from Girl Scouts. But, someone has to be in charge. Who do you trust?"

Back to the AI. "Do you have any input here? Do you have an easy way to identify motives and trustworthiness? Throughout history, our people have struggled to be able to tell when someone was lying. We usually have to wait for outside information to confirm or refute a statement. Do you have any better way to identify those people who will lie to you? Do you have reliable lie detectors?"

<We understand your physiology well enough to give you a device that detects if a speaker is knowingly lying. We cannot detect a false statement that the speaker believes is true. We can provide virtual-reality tests to determine what you will do in various scenarios. Those test results can be used to predict what you will do in specific circumstances. The first few tests may be unreliable, but as we gain experience with your people the results will quickly become as reliable as you need.>

"How hard are these tests to set up and perform? How long will they take to run?"

<They can be done by the sleep-training systems. The test time will vary because some people will take longer to test than others. You may safely assume an average of an hour or less for each person.>

"Okay, here's the deal I want with you guys. You want trustworthy soldiers and sailors to fight a war for you. We can get them for you, but I want the stars. We'll never make it out there on our own; our political corruption keeps us from spending the kind of money it would take to develop a starship. However, you already have starships, and I don't want us stranded here again after your war is over."

From where I was looking at it, the common man had lost control of his life during the Great Depression. All over the world, the governments that survived were those that imposed control from above. Not even the US was really a democracy any more. It was, and had been, controlled by the rich since at least that far back. Maybe longer.

The Great Depression may not have been an accident and it certainly broke the middle class, the group that had run the world's democracies until then. And World War Two, well, that had been started by three societies that were not controlled by 'old money'. There had been theories about that, too. WW2 did a very good job of eliminating every industrial society controlled by people who didn't care about money. Yes, maybe I spent too much time on the internet, but I was retired. What else was I going to do when I wasn't fishing?