Guaranteed Delivery

(A flash story in 344 words.)

Martin mused, "Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night will stay these couriers from the swift completion" - no, that wasn't his problem at all; his fe-*male* always got through before he did, and then went postal when he wanted to continue.

"Martin, pull yourself out of it!" Lisa told him, snapping her fingers in front of his face. ""What's-her-name --"


"Maggie gets off before you do. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that *I* would like to come for a change."

"Just slow down."

"Tried that."

"Have you tried a different position?"

"Lisa," he sighed. "We've tried the Kama Sutra, 101 Ways to Prolong Sex, and Makling Love, Not Sex. We've tried anal sex, oral sex, tantric sex, frottage, bondage, foreplay, no foreplay. You name it, we've tried it, but nothing works. The only way to keep her from coming before I do is for me to not touch her at all. And even then sometimes she gets so worked up when she's blowing me, she starts squeezing her legs together, or rubbing herself, and comes anyway."

Lisa took a long drink of her iced tea. "Is it hot in here? I think it's hot in here."

"I don't know what else to do."

"Do you love her?"

"Lisa, we've known each other since we were kids. We tell each other everything. No, I don't love her."

"You're not in love with her and you've only been going out, what, three months now?"


"Dump her."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because now it's like a challenge to come before she does. If I dump her now, it's like giving up."

"Martin, give up." "Lisa --"

"Martin." She leaned forward and under the cover of the coffee shop table, ran a hand along his upper thigh. "In the interest of sharing information, I've never had Maggie's problem. Never."

He gulped. "Never."

Lisa shook her head. "I have a delivery to be made, Martin, and I think you're just the 'swift courier' I've been looking for." She squeezed his thigh.

"Check please!"


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